The Leader Learner Podcast

Check-In:

Which projects give you energy?

Big Ideas:

3 skills that lead to successful groups: building safety, sharing vulnerability, establishing purposecohesive groups - telling stories and reminding one another what they stand formurmuration - how birds move togetherusing small signals to link the present moment to the future idealorganizations that don't have a purpose, mission, vision, etc. the challenge of extracting a purposehow to detect weak signals and act on themgoing through the motions of purpose - some people feel it's not worthwhile"What's the purpose of having a purpose?" Purpose is a higher order construct - something you can build everything else aroundIf there are no words, there's no knowledgePurpose seems too impractical - not actionable, practical enoughCultural differences in focusing on cultureA tool without a purpose is just an object.Leadership without purpose doesn't serve anyoneYou can pivot around a purpose, and shift your business structureDon't sell changeWhen companies focus their purpose around a story or stories, it can motivate employees in a new wayHaving a clear beacon of purposeWhat can organizations do to re-engage employees? Is story enough?Belief that narratives only apply to children and politicians Stories are a way to make groups work together - story-telling goes back thousands of yearsAny good story has conflict and strong emotion -- some organizations still try to separate emotions from workHow to help people identify the stories that they are telling themselves? Once you identify the story, you can change the storyHow stories drive our emotional world.Our brains want to close the loop, so we make up the rest of the story so we can move on - a necessary evolutionary deviceBeing in the matrix and not knowing you are in the matrixLeading for Proficiency (being the lighthouse) - establishing priorities and connected behaviorsLeading for Creativity (being the ship's engineer, not the captain) - safe flat, high-candor environment, not about how toWhat's your leadership purpose?Transactional versus transformational leadershipThe leader's job isn't to motivate others, but to create conditions for people to be motivated

Resources:

The Culture Code, by Daniel CoyleStart with Why Simon SinekFind Your Why, Simon SinekAdam Grant

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Check-In: 

Do think the best time of your life is in the past, present, or future

Big Ideas:

flexibility in work schedules - what do we need to do sothe equipment that supports remote workingshifting mindsets around traditional ways of workingshifting schedules to accommodate global clientssense of freedom in being able to shift your scheduleflexing people's pay to allow for flexible schedulesBe present, be equipped, be allowedCompressed work week - had to create the modelKeeping people engaged after 30+ years in the corporate worldEmpowering people to have balance and to grow in new waysEmployees feel energized and motivated when they have a larger fulfilledNeed for new working models to offer employees Younger generation doesn't want the traditional 9-5, 5 days a weekCovid has shifted us into new ways of thinking about how we work and where we workCan flexibility work for manufacturing, and other hands-on type of work?Hesitation to allow flexible schedulesCreation can happen NOT sitting in front of the computerCompanies are losing good people if they don't offer flexibilityUsing co-working spaces for networking and shifting perspectives and interacting across-organizationsHow do I lead remotely?  How can we support leaders to build trusting teams remotely? How to facilitate meetings remotely so that people can feel that connection?The small moments of trust building,, in person, can't be as easily transferred to online spaces.Making connection the primary intention of all gatheringsIntention, Execution, Results - Observe what is happening in your meetingsFocus on how people want to feel at the end of a session - the doing happens as a result of the feeling (fulfilled, energized, inspired, motivated, engaged, supported, etc...)Making sure that everyone has a voice in whatever way that voice wants to be heardNot micro-managing people's time and checking their online status when working remotelyWhen people speak in the first 5 minutes of the call, they end up speaking more throughout the meetingThe relationship between trust and empowermentWhat's preventing leaders from trusting their employees?We want engaged employees, but we don't create engagement in the meetingsMeeting etiquette and expectations -- different practices across organizations, regions, countriesLess moments to sync outside of meetings when we are remote - more presence needed in online meetingsWhat kind of leader does your company need you to be?In our fast-paced world, are we giving space for people to BEMessaging around productivity and efficiency and how it impacts people Separating your ego from your leadershipSelf-reflection as the key to good leadership

Resources Mentioned:

The Extended Mind, by Annie Murphy Paul

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Check-In: 

If you could live anywhere, where would you live and why?

Big Ideas: 

when books make leadership seem easy, when it's not5 elements that every team needs to function well together, written as a pyramidusing books as a guide can lead us down the wrong pathThe 5 Dysfunctions are: Absence of Trust, Fear of Conflict, Lack of Commitment, Avoidance of Accountability, and Inattention to ResultsLencioni is anti-consensusCan people have results without trust? (example - the Chicago Bulls of the 1990's)Trusting someone's character and capabilitiesPeer review of modelsBooks can be seeds of discussion, but not guides for team performanceComponents of trust, and signs when trust is absentTrust not being valued by a manager - it being seen as too "fluffy"Does the importance of trust depend on the type of team you are within the organization? If everyone's competing for the CEO's job, how can you trust those you work with?Power in organizations - the individual versus the groupHow can one be political without being egotistical?Politics is making your power concrete. It's not bad or good in nature. It's a tool.What am I applying my politics for?Playing the game without playing the game. Being aware of the game and playing it for the good of the company.We teach people NOT to play politics at work, and then they get into organizations where people are all playing different gamesWhen people suffer when they don't know the rules of the game they are playingPlay the game to be a successful contribution to the organizationBelief that good people don't politics - it's not the tool, it's what you do with them that mattersCan you win the fight being a good, upstanding person?Power is largely due to the collective sum of all the relationships you have within an organization. Fear driven relationships aren't relationships - they are transactional Choosing NOT to play the game, can be seen as more ethical

Resources:

The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick LencioniAmy Edmondson and Psychological SafetyEdgar Shein and Psychological SafetyMaslow's Hierarchy of Needs

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Check-In:

How did you spend your summer breaks as a child?

Big Ideas:

How do you know when connection exists in a group?The importance of having care/connection when giving feedbackConnection is not the same as relationshipFeel a connection to someone without a relationshipA relationship can exist without fully knowing someoneTrusting character versus trusting someone's competenciesTrust: Competence, Kindness, ReliabilityBRAVING Model of Trust (Brené Brown): Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-Judgment, GenerosityIntent doesn't always match impact - can care about someone and still hurt themCreating more intention when giving feedbackBeing unkind versus the perception of being unkindDoes kindness have a place in business?We choose complacency and kindness can cross over -  we don't give feedback when it's needed because we know it will hurtWhen is too much too muchConnecting just enough to do my job wellHow much is too much connecting as a leader?Do people want their leaders to know about them? Connecting with people to be strategic/manipulative rather than humanDo we need to know the in and outs of our teams to be a good leader?Shifting connecting depending on the individual needs of your teamDo we need to manage the perceptions of others on our team?You don't have to ask, but you have to listenPeople on our teams have different attachment stylesIs it too much to have to adapt/chameleon to our teams needs?Ask people what they expect from you and set boundaries Accompanying our team membersAccompanying and giving the infrastructure to othersHaving clear expectations and the same map means we don't need to be as connectedConnection is needed to set expectations and create the map togetherIs connection turning into the solution to all of our leadership problems?None of us has a map of where our business goes, so connection support usCommon understandings of what you need to be doing and then you can improvisePull back from connection as being "the answer" to your leadership issuesKnowing information can share that you careThe little things are important to othersWhy are you connecting?What's the "right" amount of connection with our teams?

Resources:

The Speed of Trust, Stephen CoveyBRAVING Inventory, Brené BrownHow to Know A Person, by David Brooks

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Check-In:

In your opinion, when is innovation overused?

Big Ideas:

Binary questions - Are they useful or not? Are creating and innovating the same?Moving from being salaried to hourly and the implications/impact it hadFeeling of liberation being hourly rather than salariedSense of equity - treating all of us the sameMental load and how it's often not counted in salariesSense of autonomy in deciding to work or notWorking to deserve the salarySpace for thinking/reflecting separate from doingWhat's your relationship to decision-making? Working less as one of the goalsStepping back to reflect on the decision and knowing the criteria of successFailpoint brainstormingSunk Cost BiasIs salary associated with time spent in a corporate setting? Are we creating space for psychological detachment from work?Companies taking time of employment engagementIs a salary enough of a reward for engagement? Can we pay someone based on meeting metrics?Quality versus quantity of workCan companies do what entrepreneurs do in terms of paying employees?Parkinson's Law -- the task will expand to fit the time givenPlaying with time to get you motivated Honoring where people are in their lives, and adjusting their expected time at work to their stage in lifeKronos time (the passing of time)  versus Kairos time (the quality of time)Universal income - untying productivity with your value in societyCould we live in a world where people do what they love with loveDepression and it's connection to purpose and meaningThe attention economy and how it draws people inMoral decision about what we produce and whether it's worthyInequity in salariesTime I spent at work doesn't matter  - what, how, and why matters more Quality of time versus quantity of time

Resources:

Taking Smart Risks - Doug Sundheim

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Check-In Question:

Would you tell people if you won the lottery, would you tell people or keep it a secret? 

Big Ideas:

Exercise:Draw a meeting on a paper.Color code.  RED- people talking too much. GREEN - people talking too little. ORANGE - people speaking in a toxic wayWhat do you notice? Share of voiceWhen is interrupting others okay? Cultural differences between share of voice, and adapting to how others communicateHow can we encourage green people to talk more, besides simply "Speak up"?Wait time.Eye contactModerate conversation moreDoes everyone's voice need to be heard?Are we using breakout rooms to create engagement1-2-4-ALL Giving people the opportunities to write first, then share with a pair, then the whole groupTurn to your neighborBrainstorming are often more geared for extroverted people. Extend the brainstormWhen we don't hear from others, we don't hear oppositionPower has nothing to do with performance at times.Certain situations when collective intelligence is not appropriateHearing from the experts, credible, valuable contributors? Wisdom of the LOUD, doesn't necessarily incorporate the most credible peopleContext mattersCollective intelligence - more people sharing, focus on social sensitivityMore social sensitivity when there are women in the roomSwap out the moderators of a meeting, to shift the share of voiceConnection between empowering people and burnout - some people aren't ready to be empoweredEntrepreneurship training versus leadership trainingFront load the sharing to equate share of voiceBring awareness to peopleONE BREATH SHARE - keeps sharing limitedWhat's the purpose of the meeting?Who's really making the decision?

Resources:

Leadership is Language by L. David Marquet1-2-4-ALL, Liberating StructuresNominal Group TechniqueHumanocracy by Gary Hamel and Michele Zanini

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Check-In:What cause would you be willing to give up your life for?

Big Ideas:

gratitude can help us out of dark placesattitude of gratitude is not the same as a practice of gratitudegratitude practice as a daily ritualgratitude as a feeling, not necessarily saying "Thank you."feeling proud rather than just luckyWho are you grateful for who supported something you are proud of?Characteristics that supported the achievement - who helped to develop those characteristics in you? Strangers who helped you - being grateful for the unseen peopleThe emotion of gratitude - not just talking about it, but feeling into it with eyes closedRecognition is not the same as gratitudeWaiting for recognition leads us unto a dangerous pathGratitude comes from within, recognition is externalGratitude is the feeling, recognition is the actionWhat's the prerequisite to gratitude?Doing gratitude isn't the same as feeling gratitudeCreating the pause and intention to feel gratitudeHabit stacking - way of creating new habits on top of old habitsSpeaking gratitude out loud can be powerful

Resources:

Atomic Habits by James Clear

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Check-In:

If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change?

Big Ideas:

Should organizations provide resources for employee mental health?Mental health is still a taboo topic for many, especially in organizationsNot educated about topics of mental healthShame associated with an EAP programCulture of "suck it up," "be strong," and "pull up your bootstraps."Perception of being weak - the stigma of mental health issuesIs there a right way to support people around mental health?Community-based program to support employee mental health - feeling not alone by sharing with othersTrust advisors in Switzerland - listen and provide options, not therapy or coachingComplexity of situationsNeurodivergent employees and mental health - are they in the same box?Leaving your personal life at the door doesn't workCompartmentalizing our lives doesn't workWe are meant to be in community with others - we are not autonomous beingsIs community more important than the product?Sitting with our emotions, rather than trying to push past themPersonal responsibility - where am I participating?Yoga, nap rooms, etc support the symptoms, but not the causeProvide the relationship space for peopleContinuity of support - more than just a couple of days offPeople who can step off the work highway, and others who cannotPressure on employees can't be fixed with nap podsThe CEO who was fired for providing more for his employees, but not focusing enough on profitNot about finding faultMental health is not linearYES/AND - both individual and organizational responsibility

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Check-In:

Which superpower would you like to have? 

Big Ideas:

Definitions of authentic leadershipAuthentic leaders deeply understand their values, strength and purpose and use that to motivate and inspire othersThe ability of people to tell their own stories and help people connect to that story4 Dimensions of Authentic Leadership: Self-Awareness, Relational Transparency, Balanced Process, and Internal Moral PerspectiveVulnerability is a strength not a weaknessHow our unconscious mind interferes with authenticityDon't bring our true self to work due to cultural expectations, fears, peer pressure, etc.Authentic Leadership is self-referentialAuthentic leaders are proactive in looking at their biases and how they process peopleLeaders already think they are being authenticSelf-awareness isn't a destination, it's a journeyThe 5 Rs - Review, Remember, Recognize, Reflect, RenewYou can never say that you completely know yourselfDon't crucify others or ourselves for our biases - we all have biasesOwn up to others your biases - ask others to give you feedback about your biasesAuthentic leaders lead as uniquely themEverything comes down to the strength of our core People claiming to be self-aware, but acting as if they are notHow can one facilitate authentic conversations?Create spaces that are empowering enough to be vulnerableWhen you look into the mirror and ask questions, who responds? Connection between courage and authenticityKindness and complacency Should we always be authentic? Authentic leaders know what they do not know and are willing to admit itEmpathetic feedbackLooking for the elements of truth in hard feedbackHow do we encourage people to take the time to reflect? Not look at what's right or wrong, but look at what happened and making meaning from itEvery day has moments of authentic leadershipEvery day provides moments for self-reflection

Amara's Bio:
Amara is a certified executive and leadership development coach with great passion for leading authentically. I work with executives and leaders to embrace authenticity, strengthen positive behaviors, develop new leadership capabilities, grow influence, and deepen impact. My clients achieve positive lasting changes in leadership behaviors. 

www.authentictransformations.net
www.Amaraemuwa.net

Please check out her new book,The Truth Behind Excuses

https://authentictransformations.net/behind-excuses

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Check-In:

Do you like to be used or second hand items?

Big Ideas:

Is leadership working? Does leadership training work?Training cannot be done outside of the contextConsuming, Connecting, CreatingStopping our ways of being are habitual is more challenging than we thoughtWe are emotional beingsEmbodiment of the ideas takes longer than a trainingBeing intentional about practicing the ideas we learn in the training - take the pause and creating a support systemSense of personal responsibility of the individuals in trainingThe treadmill and lack of control prevents people from implementingTop management not participating in training themselves - "I am a CXO, so I don't need training." This creates misalignment.Transparency around how we are learningAlienation of true selves when we go to workMeasuring leadershipAttribution errors - when we attribute success to one person, rather than multiple factorsA record doesn't matter when you hire someoneBeing a good leader of yourself, to support other leadersWhat can I do today? Taking personal responsibilityImitation versus borrowingReading books that make you think rather than telling you what to doSometimes the expert is wrong - we can't always take someone's formula and apply it to ourselvesProcess consultation - practicing on the spot Having multiple ongoing touchpoints throughout, or after a training is overVoluntary training or mandatory training? Does participation shift?

Resources:

Less is More by Jason HickelHBR - Why Training Fails and What to do About It(2016)The Financial Times - Success is more complicated than one exceptional individual(2023)

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SPECIAL NOTE:This podcast was originally recorded as part of the "Talent Unleashed" podcast, which never launched because Theresa was too optimistic about her time capabilities. We decided to honor the guests and publish it under this brand instead.

Enjoy :)

BIG IDEAS:

The F*ck Up List - an explicit place for sharing our mistakes and making it transparent and acceptablethe person who is responsible for the f-ck up is the one who adds it to the listchallenge of internalizing the culture of being okay to failsharing failures as a way to help others in the future, so they don't make the same oneNon-judgmental view of failureintention to learn from the mistakes, have a good laugh about our mistakes, create more awareness and transparency aroundentries of the F-up list also include the resolutions, not about pointing fingers or blaming otherstechnological and social structures to prevent mistakes in the futureThe Prime Directive - "Regardless of what we discover, we understand and truly believe that everyone did the best job they could, given what they knew at the time, their skills and abilities, the resources available, and the situation at hand."high level of trust - see best intentions of everyonegreat sense of ownership and freedom - space to make mistake and not be blamedcomfort in challenging because not afraid of mistakes - leads to innovationcriticize the work, not the personlow egos help reduce social conflictrequesting feedback on a regular basis - making it an active processfeedback on open forums - in shared spacemodeling of open feedback from the foundersreducing fears and doubts though mentoringhiring too quickly can erode culturetruly wanting people to grow not all frameworks will fit your needs perfectly

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

The Prime Directive Holacracy

BIOGRAPHIES:

To learn more about Robin and Echometer, head to these links:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-roschlau/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanmicheldiaz/
https://echometerapp.com/en/

To learn more about Camilla, head here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/camillamaia/
https://www.behance.net/camilla-maia
https://medium.com/@c.cav.maia

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SPECIAL NOTE: This podcast was originally recorded as part of the "Talent Unleashed" podcast, which never launched because Theresa was too optimistic about her time capabilities. We decided to honor the guest(s) and publish it under this brand instead.

Enjoy :)

Big Ideas:

What does it mean to unleash talent? When learning spreads out across multiple areas of your lifeMix of theoretical and practical aspects of learning - using the learningIntrinsic motivation and curiosityHow do organizations support curiosity individually, and across an organization?Learning offered versus learning people wantJust in time learningEncourage curiosity, but don't provide the infrastructure to harness itGig Learning - short term assignments to allow people to learn in different aspects of the organizationsIntersection of harnessing curiosity and unleashing talentChange the narrative around talent - talk about individuals rather than about resourcesHolistic thinking - not about moving people on a chess boardHow best delivering to all people in the organization to satisfy their curiosity?Linking people to their own personal purpose within the organization, not just the organization's purposeIf want to unleash talent, have to be curious about talentUnleashing talent isn't just about promotionsSquiggly careers Everybody's 100% looks differentWhat structures need to be in place to help manager unleash talent on their teams?When people are promoted to managers, but don't want to be a managerUnderstanding that the people you manage are who deliver to the client Managers don't necessarily have the capacity or resources to manage wellGetting to know the individuals well enough that you know what inspires them, what demotivates themWhat makes a poor manager poor? (Micro-management, Magpies, Chasing their own agenda, etc.) Rise in managers who care about individuals Poor management isn't address - people quietly quit or change teams What's your purpose as a manager?Connection between purpose and unleashing talent Breaking down silos in the organization, so people can see where their purpose can be realized, if it isn't alreadyUnderstand ourselves and our own limitations in order to unleash others talent

DAVE MILL'SBIO:
With over 25 years experience in the learning and development industry. In that time he has facilitated internationally and covered a wide number of subjects from driver training on forklift trucks to facilitating senior leaders to flourish through change.

He is currently a senior consultant and SME in the People Development and Effectiveness Centre of Expertise for Kantar(the world’s leading data, insights and consulting company).

In his many previous lives he trained as a horticulturist, spent years as a night club and mobile DJ, built a career in retail manager, was a charity and corporate event MC and compère, and is a trained hypnotherapist.

He lives in Leamington Spa in the UK with his wife. He has 2 children, is a ‘born-again’ gardener, has recently started writing poetry, still DJs occasionally, loves reading and wants to be an archaeologist when he retires!

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Check-In:

What's better, love or money? Which has more power, love or money? What's more powerful, love or money? 

Big Ideas:

Money as a substitution for timeInfatuation can be a very powerful motivator. Differentiation between moments of happiness and lovePutting love into leadership People going back to work just to see the peoplePower and the complexity of human relationships Power has a negative connotationHaving power is a privilegeYour relationship to power can hold you back, especially if you think of it as negativePower over, power to, power with (Brené Brown)When power is used to "control you" may give you a negative view of power4 Elements of Power as per Ted JenkinsPower of positionPower of expertisePower of connectionsPower of personal authority6 Elements of Power as per French and Raven (1960's source)Formal PowerPower of Consequence (power of sanction and reward)The other 4 are the same as aboveWomen use their power of expertise almost to a faultExtroversion and Introversion are not scientifically backedPower of position/legitimacy is given - we agree to give others that powerCan one have power of position without any of the other powers?Is "authority" the right word? Confusion of power and authorityIs authority, really about charisma?Personal authority and the relationship with trustInformation brokers - knowledge powerInformation is not the same as expertiseConnection between money and powerPoliticians starting with personal authority, which leads to connections, and then to positionWhat are we gaining by giving people power over us?Power over you is like being in a prisonGrow our own sense of power, and continue to have choiceSocietal and group powerSystems changing from outside, not from insideIs power of personal authority, connection, and expertise enough when the power of position is so strong? 

Resources:

Anxious People, by Fredrik BackmanLove as a Business Strategy,byFrank E. Danna and Mohammad F. AnwarThe Work Lab, by MicrosoftHow Women Rise, by Sally Helgeson and Marshall RosenbergRising Together, by Sally Helgesen

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Check-In Question

If you were invisible, what's the first thing you would do?What good can you do while being invisible?

Big Ideas:

4 quadrant matrix - Caring Personally, Challenging DirectlyHigh Care, High Challenge - Radical CandorHigh Care, Low Challenge - Ruinous EmpathyLow Care, High Challenge - Obnoxious AggressionLow Care, Low Challenge - Manipulative InsincerityIndustry dependent  (ie, manufacturing more direct, healthcare less direct)gender dynamics at play - women not wanting to challenge directly for fear of being labelled a "B*tch", men don't want to be seen as weakCan compassion be radical?Compassion using the heart and the mindRadical - getting to the root of thingslay down unilateral power, hold each other accountableRadical means essentialend of command and control with pandemic"I can't believe this trust thing is working." ~CXO of some companyInvite them to give you feedback first and make it a regular part of your day, even in small conversationGet to know your team about their career aspirationsAssumption that people want to advance - Rock Stars versus Super StarsAssess how giving and getting feedbackEbb and flow between being a rock star and super stardomOften only way to grow is to be a manager - what about those who don't want to be a manager? Often only reward the managers financially, not the ICsDifference between learning and growing up the ladderPair the care and the candor all the time Passive, aggressive - assertiveness as the third wayNot falling prey to either orPermission parenting, authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting - finding the middle groundWe are human and won't always walk the perfect pathBill Gates - "Give me the bad news."Cultural implications around radical candorUse too many disclaimers to soften negative feedback, which takes away the candorRecency and latency biases make us  forget the middle in the "Sandwich" techniqueSo many nuancesNormalize radical candorInvite public criticism as a leader, so you show people you are willing to take itOtherwise, give all radical candor in privateOften more care than candorFear in speaking up and saying thingsWhen impact doesn't match intentionI can't always measure the impact I will have on people Sometimes the way we see the truth can hurt someone, but does that mean we shouldn't say it? Can people take your "Radical Candor"?Inquisitive radical candor - test the waters first?Knowing the right time to give feedback - it will land different in different circumstances"Radical candor is not measured at the mouth of the speaker, but at the ears of the listener." 

Resources Mentioned:

Radical Candor by Kim ScottThe Culture Mapby Erin Meyer

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Check-In:

What do you think the purpose of life is?

Big Ideas:

Failing reference modelsShift from the meaning of crisis to the crisis of meaningWhat's the meaning of work?Reference models on how to live together (the Greek pantheon, organized religion, science, governments)Does work give us meaning?When we get the message that meaning at work is overratedEffort in making communityIn the past, work didn't need meaning because we got meaning elsewhereAre organizations built to provide meaning to employees?Cultural aspect of meaning makingPeople resigning because looking for meaningDomains that provide meaning and purpose - autonomy and relatednessPeople turning toward personal purpose because not finding it at workPersonal development focused on autonomousDeriving meaning from volunteer workVolunteering because it's heart-felt or because it's duty (someone told me to)When your work touches your heart, do you need to volunteer to find meaning?Universal income - will people still work?If we don't want people to leave their work, people need to feel connected to their work and connected to the people they work withWho's responsible for the meaning?Meaning is so personal Individual why supporting the team shyCompanies giving time and space for employees for meaning-makingPeople want something more than just salarySocial, financial, and ecological aspects of meaning - measuring eachHow are companies measuring social and ecological impact dimensions?Is it a company's responsibility to provide meaning? Peace when you find meaningThe journey to create meaning is part of the processMeaning as an evolutionary process

Resources Mentioned:

Healing Circles GlobalLandmark EducationFind Your Why by Simon SinekBeyond Zero documentary

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Check-In:

If you had the whole world's attention for 30 seconds, what would you say or do?

Big Ideas:

Hypocrisy and leadershipImmorality in leadershipDo leaders have to be good people?We think of leadership as for the good of the peopleWhat tactics are immoral leaders using to get people to follow them?Leadership as a pipeline - a relationship between peopleHow you position yourself in respect to other peopleLeadership can be about how you hook and attract themCharisma as a tool to attract people"Othering" of people - politicians using this tactic to gain followersCommonality and the group to bring people togetherUsing fear with your own people to hold themTotalitarianism versus PopulismThe leadership purpose is different from the toolsInverse charisma - how you draw people in based on how you listen to them, not how you talkCharisma as a source of power - do people give you charisma?Shifting leadership depending on our audience - some people need to be listened to, some people need to be inspiredAdaptive or situational leadershipLeading from the front, not the backCultural aspects of leadershipOpen and closed ways of leadershipOur own biases shift how we perceive a leader as good/badLeaders who are reassuring and are perceived as "strong" - people looking to leaders for strengthLeaders are leaders because they help other people not feel afraidIdea that leadership starts from withinPeople wanting to be told what to do and how to thinkPower over versus power with/power toWhat do you do when you want to offer people power, and they don't want it?Freedom is hard. Ignorance is bliss.Do people really want autonomy?Are we participants in the creation of immoral leadership?Amoral leadership - leadership without moralityImmorality creates an us/them Should leadership be moral?Trust is a psychological mechanism, value is what you think is importantCan we try NOT to use the moral lens when talking about leadership?Pragmatism versus moralityTake morality off the table and listen for their valuesHow we embody values can look differentHow stay on debate without arguingPower in having a structured debate with a strong moderatorDebating from the opposite side of your beliefsConstructive conflict that leads to innovation and creativityDisagreement isn't the same as conflictLeadership is when you stay outside of our "animal self" - you stay above the fray"People are hard to hate close up. Move in." Easy for us to form opinions about other people without really knowing themChange the conditions by which you measure people and you can say anyone is anythingDoes a leader need to go beyond morality?Easy to other people for othering othersValues as a factor in conflict because of it's rigidityGlobalization has led to value conflict

Resources Mentioned:

The Human Library

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Check-In: 

Share an experience when you felt great as part of a long-distance team, or a team in general.

Big Ideas:

Is virtual the right word?Long distance, remote, or virtual - Are they interchangeable?Long distance being more neutralVirtual teams used to be for individuals meeting for a certain project, where not everyone worked for the same bossWho's the hub for all the spokes?Who owns the team? Compliance versus ownershipAll teams have a culture, but no one person owns the culture, it's the responsibility of everyone on the teamProximity allows us to "read" cues more easily Beyond 40-50 feet level of engagement dropsDistance and availability are both factorsVirtual reduces spontaneous interactionsProximity bias - asking people who are closerUs/them them in hybrid settingsSettling for lowest common denominator when accomodating remote?What's the best experience for the team?Long distance reveals the true team dynamics - especially the "bad" onesGood leadership systems work across all types of disruptionsLeadership first, location secondKeeping hours of your manager when you are in a different time zoneManaging for activity versus productivityIf you have an empowered, trusted team, where they do that doesn't matterThere are some organizations where proximity mattersCan the work be done no matter where people are?Every annoying policy was created because of one person or incidentPolicies can create discrepanciesPilot before policy2/3 of our workplace communication takes place in writing - we don't do it very wellWhat role does time (when we work) play in the culture we want?Rather than having conversations with people, managers create policiesManaging to the exceptionDo the rules of the company demonstrate trust?What is the IT of culture?Communication, collaboration and culture - the little thingsDoes everything have to be a meeting?Shift in how our relationships have developed over time - more and more onlineHaving 1:1 conversations with teams, even onlineBe wary of transactional communication because they don't build relationshipsWhat works in person ? Translate that intentionally to online spaces

Resources:

The Long Distance Leader by Kevin Eikenberry and Wayne TurmelThe Long Distance Teammate  by Kevin Eikenberry and Wayne TurmelThe Long Distance Team by Kevin Eikenberry and Wayne TurmelVirtual Not Distance Podcast

Wayne Turmel Bio:
For 25 years, Wayne Turmel has been obsessed with how people communicate—or don’t—at work. He is an internationally recognized expert in remote work and the evolving workplace who is the author of 15 books and has spoken around the world. He is best known for the Long Distance Workplace books: The Long Distance Team, Long Distance Teammate and The Long-Distance Leader. Originally from Canada, he now lives and works in Las Vegas. Marshall Goldsmith has called him “one of the unique voices in Leadership.”

Linkedin
Website

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Check-In:

What is one key trait that makes successful people successful?

Big Ideas:

Thinking better with other people"We think best when we think socially." Social constructivism Group think -- we let loyalty take the place of our thinkingThink for yourself, before you think with othersUse tools/methods to help people think betterThink first, share second - Alone TogetherWhen the first person anchors the rest of the sharingSpeaking last as a managerDivergent thinking before convergent thinkingGiving ideas space - go into a room together to define the problem, brainstorm alone, then back together with all the ideasDiverging first as not being naturalPush for convenience and efficiency which gets in the way of the social way of thinkingCheck-In is seen as a waste of time, yet it creates a synchronization at the beginning of a meetingHow to diverge when we don't feel psychologically safeWhat creates groupiness? Learn together, Train together, Feeling together, Engage in rituals together, Synchronicity (body, meals)Lost the sense of "groupiness" at workRole-playing games - must let everyone's roles play outHaving structure for debating with one another can make it funDisagreement and conflict aren't synonymous - disagreement is about ideas, conflict is personalizedLeaders as moderators for healthy disagreementDo managers need to be trained in running meeting design, moderation, etc?Starting meetings with music?Different neural pathways are used when learning versus when teachingThe jigsaw method of teaching - learn a small part and then teach it to othersMust learn to think for yourself through reflection timeThe more roots something has, the more powerfulOffloading information by making it visual, talking about it, journalingBusy-ness isn't always productive Foster different ways of thinking about things - using objectsThe importance of evaluating others' ideas not just expand on your own. Arguing across cultures - different cultures approach it differentlyArguing as not being seen as team-playingCreating a system for disagreement combined psychological safetyProductive disagreement versus unproductive conflict

Resources:

The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy PaulThe Culture Map by Erin Meyer

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Check-In Question:

Share a memorable meeting experience.

Big Ideas:

Rituals in meetingsClear structures in meetings get to a resultHow we feel in a meeting mattersPower dynamics in meetingsA common ritual - rotating "leadership" of the meetingRituals can vary depending on the type of organization and their values and the spirit of what you are doingCheck-ins would be great in every organization, but the questions will changeCheck-ins can set the tone of the entire meetingNot all groups need to connect and build trust togetherAirport book advice - not all advice is right for youTailor the ritual to the contextLevels of maturity in the ways that people gatherEach leader has to decide how they want to meetMeetings both reflect and create our cultureStopping all meetings isn't the answerThe courage to step up and change the meeting culture in an organizationCreating intentionality in your meetings16 core types of meetings within an organizationWhat is the value/opportunity in the meeting?Every time we have a conversation with someone, it's a meetingPutting people into a room to solve a problem doesn't workHaving an intention and outline is usually all we need to have a great meetingGreat practice - Not calling meetings "meetings" - give them a specific name to the purposeWhat impacts meetings are hard to countCan other work exist around all the meetings that are recommended?Meeting load increases in any crisisAsynchronous communication can reduce the needed meeting timeMeeting Free Fridays - time block ritualsMeeting time depends on many factors - human attention spansTrue collaboration takes longerTime box status reporting - async if possible

Resources:

Lucid MeetingsThe Four Agreements by Don Miguel RuizWhere the Action Is: The Meetings that Make or Break Your Organization16 Types of MeetingsMeeting Guides and TemplatesThe Art of Gathering by Priya ParkerGetting to Yesby William UryNever Split the Difference by Chris VossNew Rules for Work 

Elise Keith Bio:
J. Elise Keith is the founder and CEO of Lucid Meetings, a meeting innovation company dedicated to making it easy for teams to run successful meetings every day. In 2020, Lucid Meetings was recognized as one of the top 10 global influencer brands on the topic of remote work and virtual meetings.

In 2023, Elise and David Mastronardi from the Gamestorming Group joined forces to host the New Rules for Work experiment, a four-part program seeking reliably excellent ways to unleash team creativity in meetings.

Elise is the author of Where the Action Is: The Meetings That Make or Break Your Organization .

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Check-In Question:

What do you look back and think, "I would never do that again?"

Big Ideas:

We do our best thinking when are up and moving aroundGestures help us think through ideas "We use our brains entirely too much."Do we use our brains, or does our brain use us?Most of our best ideas come when not trying to think through somethingThinking harder is counter-productiveProtestant thinking is against fun and all about hard workNot wrestle with ideas, but play with themWhat is professional?Definitions of seriousness that drive our learningRise of ADHD in the US and the increase in seat time in schools20 minutes in nature was better for ADHD students than the medicationsMore productive after micro-breaksThink will think better after a break, but think better because of the breakDon't separate our movement from our work - invite movement into your dayWalking meetingsMore accurate when walking while thinking (Radiologist study)Nietzsche had the best ideas while walkingMobile intelligenceNot separate the mind from the bodyLevel of conversation is elevated when we are elevatedAfraid of chaos - children were "little savages"Play time versus work time"The opposite of play isn't work, the opposite of play is depression." ~Stuart BrownEmotional regulation being improved when spend time outsideImportance of natural light to workingThe privilege of having access to green spacesBringing nature into built spaces to support productivityAwe - the word and the soundWe are not too different from our environmentLeaders creating space for movement (modeling)

Resources:

The RACI MethodThe Extended Mind by Annie Murphy PaulPomodoro Technique

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Check-In Question:

Do you think the internet is making people more or less social than we used to be?

Big Ideas

Look at the quality of connectionsMove to virtual was an opportunity for manyWhat is remote work?  What do I do in the office? How do I cope with back-to-back calls? Do I have to watch recordings of missed meetings?How do we collaborate together in this new transformation?When culture does not exist, how do you create it?What do we need to do to create great learning experiences where people are engaged?Small bites of learning, 15-20 minutes per dayCommunity and connection to talk about your learningDifference between knowledge/content and skillSkill requires connecting with people and comparing your learningTransferring knowledge to skill base - learning to assimilate itReading a book in community - learning more than I would aloneSocial constructivism - people construct knowledge togetherChange of scenery, movement, and other people support us to thinkWhat can you influence yourself?Shift expectations for how we attend meetings - listening or presentingTrust and safe spaces to help people break the "rules"Resistance to do things differently - break the boundariesWhat keeps us in front of our screens?Social price to pay for breaking the boundaries - Will people take us seriously?Role-modeling is really importantShowcasing what learning can do for me - keeping my intellectual sideNot being forced to learnTransparent about what learning and why - skill gaps, or curiosityTaking time to learn gets me, slow down, be vulnerableCraving out time for learning and development - not a one-off, part of the working weekFollowing your own curiosity creates momentumMandatory learning can create box checkingLearn and engage differently when forced to learn something or self-initiate"I think a learn-it-all will always be better than a know-it-all in my book." -Microsoft CEO, How do organizations provide the space and the financial means to keep learning?Leaders modeling learning and inviting people to learn with themLearning being funLeaders helping raise the "power" standing of their employeesLead by example and create positive experiences for my teamShort term satisfaction versus long term gainsThe power of coaching and a learning network

Resources:

The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy PaulStephen CoveyDiscover Your Clifton Strengths by Gallup (Don Clifton)Clifton's Strengths Finders

You can connect with Lisa Davidian here. 

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Check-In Question:

What are you attached to?

Big Ideas:

How does our attachment related to our happiness?Relationships have a direct relationship to our healthWhat will continue to shift in our relationships as we work in virtual spacesDesperate for connectionCan't escape our need for connectionA tribe is 150 peopleAre people more afraid of connection because of the pandemic?1 in 3 people around the globe says they are lonely (pre-covid)Social media gives us a false sense of connectionRelying on tools for connection, but it's not true connectionWe say things online we wouldn't say in personComparison of curated livesPrioritizing real connections with real peopleSocial fitness - an ongoing practice in developing relationshipsHow do we develop friendships?Cultural differences in how relationships are developedBaby steps in building relationshipsSocial services as a way to meet new peopleAge not being a defining factor in a friendshipShifting from risk aversion to risk affinityRelationships take vulnerability. One person has to be the first to be vulnerable.Create chance and opportunity Acknowledging risks and the possibilitiesThe illusion of control in staying in the known, even if it's uncomfortablePeach versus coconut styles of friendshipsRelying on Employee Resources Groups in lonely at workReaching out to people out of curiosity, without an agendaLetting people know that you appreciated something that they said, even if you don't know themNot taking it personally if people don't respond when we reach

Resources:

Article: https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/mckinsey-on-books/author-talks-the-worlds-longest-study-of-adult-development-finds-the-key-to-happy-living

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Dave Mills Bio:
With over 25 years experience in the learning and development industry. In that time he has facilitated internationally and covered a wide number of subjects from driver training on forklift trucks to facilitating senior leaders to flourish through change.

He is currently a senior consultant and SME in the People Development and Effectiveness Centre of Expertise for Kantar (the world’s leading data, insights and consulting company).

In his many previous lives he trained as a horticulturist, spent years as a night club and mobile DJ, built a career in retail manager, was a charity and corporate event MC and compere and is a trained hypnotherapist.

He lives in Leamington Spa in the Uk with his wife. He has 2 children, is a ‘born-again’ gardener, has recently started writing poetry, still DJs occasionally, loves reading and wants to be an archaeologist when he retires!

Check-In Question:

Have you ever won a contest or competition?

Big Ideas:

Fortitude in the face of adversityYou do have control over how you respond to situations, even if you don't have control of the situation itselfAre you freeing yourself or oppressing yourself?Critique of stoicism as the philosophy of the powerful peopleYou can't make people do things, you can only empathize with their heartDon't worry about what people thinkPolarization exists because we aren't listening to one anotherTime and energy spent trying to control what we can'tAccepting the reality doesn't mean that we don't want to changeThe space between stimulus and responseAmygdala hijack is a metaphor, not a factWe can only do what we can doNot being pulled like a puppy, mastering your controlWhy don't we go to the source - the original philosophers?Urgent/Important Matrix (The Eisenhower Matrix)Leaders need to have a philosophical mindset and create meaning for employeesPhilosophy is hiding in blind sight in today's leadershipThe power in going to the original sourceHow much gets lost from the original sourcePhilosophy is the search for knowledge and wisdomTrust the process - follow what's in one book to find your next bookRead it well and go back and read it againBuild your map around the terrain of each book There is no behind other than the one you sit on

Resources:

Enchiridion  by EpictetusCourage Under Fire, James StockdaleJordon PetersonKen BlanchardStephen CoveyMeditations by Marcus AureliusRyan HolidayNietzscheThe Nature of ThingsThe Subtle Art of Not Giving and F*ck and Everything is F*cked by Mark MansonBrené BrownSenecaGreenlights by Matthew McConaugheyTheory U by Otto ScharmerViktor FranklThe Biography of Cato the Younger

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Check-In:

Describe a time when you helped a stranger.

Big Ideas:

sense of ownershipautonomy as a cop-out for organizational responsibilitynot about changing the fish, but about changing the environmentWhen we invite people into our organizations, are we hoping they will be 'unbreakable'?the challenge of changing the whole organizationteaching fish to swim in the toxic water, or changing the waterIs the entire system toxic? lower toxicity with caring and listeningleadership, history impact how toxic the environmenttreating the symptom rather than the causeduty to support the individuals and the leadershipIs resilience a lever like leadership, or like psychological safety? Is it a result?Can we directly impact resilience?Resilience as it relates to personal struggleAsking "Why me?" versus "What now?" The questions we ask determine how resilient we areResilience as a learned experience, not a theoretical oneRelationship supportive of our resilienceCausality is difficult to determineWhat? So what? Now what? Time spent looking for why - does it matter?Does the category help find the solution? Do you need to know what is in the ocean to clean it?How resources impact how/where we spent our time?Where are the resources most impactful?If you can clean it, why worry about dirtying it in the first place?Apply resources where the leverage is highestSystem and people are complexYes for the system, AND yes for the individualHow often do we rely on the system to take care of us? Moving out of the either/or choices Binary bias - when there is no middle ground, we have to choose one or the othermultiple layers of action - I, We, Theynot looking for reasons, but looking for meaning and actionswhen point 1 finger outward, there are 3 fingers pointing backward

Resources:

Antifragileby Nassim Nicholas TalebThe Gift by Edith Eger

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Check-In Question

Have you given yourself a life mission?

Big Ideas:

How different industries look at failure and learningNot being criminalized for making mistakesCan we really trust people? (ie, Body Cams)When to be treated as a criminal for a mistake that kills someone and when not toThe situations that draw us into making life/death decisionsDoes black-boxing situations help us be objective?Hold people accountable without blame.Is blame the opposite of accountability?Blame has a sense of judgment and can be poisonous to cultureCultural differences in using blameBlame puts us on a pedestal and the other below usBlame leads to defensivenessCognitive dissonance - when what we believe goes against the reality of a situationThe smarter we are or the higher up in the organization, the more likely we are to fabricate evidencePeople not letting go of the idea of being wrongFundamental Attribution Error - responsibility being context specific, or a character traitDifference between responsibility and accountabilityHistorically, we would ostracize people from the tribe to keep it secureEmotional engagement in our own opinions - echo chambersSense of worthiness entrenched into our relationship with being wrong"The paradox of success is based on failure."Persistence past failureIf success is based on failure, keep failing again and againBlame and guilt assigned to others stops peopleDo we know what failure looks like?What are we looking at as our metrics of success or failure?How do leaders know if they are being successful or not?Subjectivity of success/failureWhen managers don't understand us - asking managers what they needExpect managers to have the conversation with us, though we can start the conversation. What do you need? How can I help you?Doing your job the way you think you should be doing it, versus how your manager thinks you should be doing it"Those who are the most successful are the most vulnerable." Personal vulnerability versus product vulnerabilityFailure is opportunity to learnSelf-handicapping - when you purposely create an alternative explanation for a possible failure (self-sabotage)Using constraints to create creativityIf willing to accept mistakes more quickly, can be more successfulGrowth and fixed mindsetNot getting evidence to go against labels of self

Resources:

Start your Why, Find our Why, and Infinite Game by Simon SinekBlack Box Thinking by Matthew SyedNo Rules Rulesby Erin Meyer and Reed HastingsMindsetby Carol Dweck

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with Guest, Gwen Stirling-Wilke
Dialogic OD Consultant

Check-In Question

One powerful moment in a virtual space

Big Ideas:

The Check-in QuestionCheck in questions brings about shifts in the relational space and createsLiminal space can help people transition from one space to another. It's a punctuation and allows for recalibrationQuestions can be adapted to the time, the people, etc.Prepares people to the relationship part of the workCreates the relational glue around peopleTransition from in-person to online was both exciting and terrifying. Created a lot of new learning opportunitiesDesign had to shift from in-person to onlineBonuses to working onlineSessions online must be shorter to accommodate fatigueShared meaning making happens together, but stretch the learning before and afterwardPreparation is part of the interventionBe careful about your intentionsExpectations shifted at the beginning of pandemic to possibilityHow do we configure people - face to face, hybrid, online.  When is which the best answer?How to create an inclusive space when hybridAsymmetry when some are in-person and others are onlineDesigning an event for the bigger purpose and desired outcomesTrust within a team determines how to hold the space Creating the conditions online that would otherwise organically develop face to faceHarmony between the connection time and the content timeHow can quickly can I get people from sitting and receiving to participating? Using "waiting rooms" to warm people up with a soft questionGet people involved right awayIndividual time to think about something before connecting with others

Resources:

From Physical Space to Virtual Space  by Gwen Stirling-WilkeHealing Circles GlobalDr. Mee-Yan Cheung Judge

To see what Gwen's up to next,head here. 

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An episode of questions, all about 2022. How would you answer these?

What was the best $100/100€ you spent in 2022?What compliment did you receive in 2022 that still sticks with you?What book did you read in 2022 that was really impactful? What is the nicest thing that someone did for you in 2022?What was the best TV show, movie, or series you watched in 2022?What is something you had the most fun doing in 2022?If you could give 1 piece of advice from your experience in 2022, what advice would you give? Describe a time when you did something reckless or daring in 2022.What's something that happened in 2022 that made you really angry?What is 1 thing you regret from 2022 as you look back? What is 1 thing you did in 2022, that you would do differently in 2023?What does the world need more of in 2023 as you look back on 2023?Was there any period in 2022 that was difficult, but ultimately made you a strong or better person? What are you looking forward to in 2023?

Resources Mentioned:

The Gift of Therapyby Irvin D. YalomEssentialism by Greg McKeownThe 5 Love Languages Glow (TV Series)Severance (TV Series)The End of History and the Last ManThe Power of Regret by Daniel PinkTime to Think by Nancy Kline

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Check-In Question:

Are you the kind of person to make the first step in love? Tell us all about it.

Big Ideas:

8 different dimensions of culture that show up in work:Communication (low context or high context)Evaluating (indirect negative or direct)Persuading (why or how)Leading (Egalitarian or HierarchicalDeciding (Consensus or. Top Down)Trust (Task-based or Relationship-based)Disagreeing (Confrontational or Avoidant)Scheduling (Flexible or Linear)Is seeing person by culture stereotyping?Talking to the person versus talking to the country they come fromThe culture sets a rangeWe need to look at culture and personalityCrossing legs so people see the bottom of your shoe is a faux pas in JapanDifference between cultural sensitivity and using culture as predictorsStereotyping and prototypingAssume you will do "stupid stuff" in new cultures and apologize in advanceHumility of saying "I don't really know."Learning a few words in the languageOne of the best ways to ingratiating yourself in a new culture is to be a bit self-deprecating in your own cultureWhat we think is "normal" in the new cultureThe US being more task-based than European cultureTrust always start as task-based, then moves to relationship based once people finish the tasksTask based is more controlling and has more costDifferences in perception of "wasting time"Making assumptions and using the book to check assumptionsCreating hypothesis about people and then test it, not using stereotypes as the ultimate truthHow historical context affects cultural communicationHow religion affects cultureOne-on-one meetings focus more on the person and really listenSandwich style feedback taught in the USDownplaying negative feedback - "Maybe you should"Not wanting to hurt people's feelingsWhen people tell you what you are doing well, and don't mention what you aren't doing well.  Creating mentor schemesPeach cultures (soft on the outside, hard in the middle) versus Coconut cultures (hard on the outside, soft)Different cultures within the same countryHow are we stereotyping people and is that the best way of building relationship?Intent versus impact when feedback - managing the gapsNot hearing feedback and not being receptive to it (in denial)Living and experiencing different cultures can help us be better humans, even within our own cultureIncorrect assumptions about our own culturesClarifying intentionsTraveling and being mindful of others cultures - being an ethnographer/anthropologistCulture being a test bed of human differences and to be a better personHow much we believe that what we do is normalContinually exposing ourselves to other cultures and not get entrenched

Resources Mentioned:

The Culture Map by Erin MeyerINSEAD Business SchoolNo Rules Rulesby Erin Meyer and Reed HastingsHofstede Culture Research

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Check-In Question:

How do you define intelligence?

Big Ideas:

Is charismatic leadership over-rated? Likeability versus leadership. They aren't mutually exclusive.Melencholic leaders are more affectivePower over (positional), versus power with (relational)What emotions can be shown at work, and by whom?Leadership struggles for Theresa come from trying to be the strong, even in the face of hard emotionsSharing emotions can build trustHolding down the balloon underwater isn't sustainableBig life changes are okay at work, but the little stresses accumulate and can't always been shown, shared at workDo leaders have to be likeable?Does leadership matter for executives? Do we overvalue it?How do you define leadership?An executive is merely someone who makes decisions who affect the companyLeadership is about non-organizational skills, but people skills (not process, strategy, etc.)Leadership is multifacetedLeadership is defined by how you face adversityAdversity sets leaders apartLeaders because of who you are, and "leaders" who have a position/title onlyDon't know our ability to lead until after a crisis happensTestament to leadership - do you have other people's back and do they have yours?Everybody can be a leaderChallenge to understand ourselves well enough to serve othersLeadership for ego, and leadership for changeNot here to only serve ourselves, we are here to serve people and solve problems through our businessesHow do you need to be a leader in the face of "evil" or "bad" people in the world?How does culture influence who we want as a leader? Vulnerability isn't the only key to being a good leaderThe importance of knowing who you are as part of any leadership programTell someone who/how to be, or allow people the chance to experience it themselvesCan't buy leadership on the shelfServing others from internal or external motivationWhat are you serving others for?Leadership comes from the backend of a crisis.We can all look like great leaders when it's rosy

Resources:

HBR Must Reads on LeadershipBittersweet by Susan CainBrené BrownBand of Brothers The Circle WayThe Conscious Creator by Kelly SmallThe Prince -MachiavelliThe Culture Map by Erin Meyer

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CHECK-IN QUESTION:

If you could take a week-long vacation anywhere in the world by yourself, where would you go?

BIG IDEAS:

Essentialism isn't minimalismBeing intentional about how we spend our timeHow do we decide what we take on and what we don't?Useful time - how to determine what is useful or not?Useful doesn't always mean funWhat's the difference between being useful and essential? 3 minimal criteria for saying yes to things, and 3 ideal criteria to saying yesEssential intent aligned with purpose, big why, just causeIf we are saying no the minimum, are we taking away time to do something ideal?Different activities can work in concert with one another toward your essential intentHow often we say yes to be nice or to be liked? How respectful is that to ourselves or others? The essential intent is the priorityWe get pulled into the idea that everything is a priorityWe take on other people's urgencies that aren't oursTaking on people's problems isn't helping, it's enablingTaking on other's work is also about controlConsultants come in to solve a company's problemTraining, Coaching, Consulting are not the sameSeparate the decision from the relationshipSay no to the problem, not the personDon't say "NO", say "Yes, and...", "Yes, however...", or "Yes, no"What gets in the way of people saying "no"? Fear, People PleasingThe 5 drivers of behavior -- be strong, be perfect, be quick, please others, and try hardNo limit to the relationship, but a limit to the request you can ask of meChoices being actions versus thingsIs free will a thing? Are we fully determined? If there's no free will, there's no responsibilityWe don't make choices, we just act Creating an ensemble of activities that align in one directionWe don't have to make things as complicated as we doDESA - Design, Eliminate, Simplify, AutomateDoing less and still providing the same value"Reverse Pilot" - take away something you are doing and see what happens

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Essentialism by Greg McKeownSimon Sinek and a Just CauseEisenhower MatrixThe One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey, by Ken Blanchard, discussed on Season 1, Episode 5The 5 Drivers of Behavior (Transactional Analysis)

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Check-In Question:

Is there any value in buying paper dictionaries anymore? Do you think paper books will die within our lifetimes?

Big Ideas:

Creating connection in virtual spacesImportance of taking time and not having an agenda or expectationsWho we are as people as opposed to who we are in our rolesSkills needed in virtual space are differentHow am I different in person versus virtually?Knowing how we are in different spacesBetter listeners in different spaces - virtual versus in personHaving agreements around virtual spaces to keep people engaged and less distractedVirtual spaces equalize people based on heightHow people uses spaces (stages) to have powerVirtual world changes how people perceive usHide self-view, or keep it open - limit distractions or boost confidenceMove people so they are below the cameraLooking at screen versus looking at the camerameaning making and generative conversationsthe importance of engagementsgenerative and transformative conversationsDoes lack of trust have to do with the importance of talking about engagement online?Check-In questions leads to improved engagementInvite people into meetingPreparation for the workshop is part of the workshopAre we allowing transition time? Where is the liminal space? Create transition time or buffer into the time with peopleTime to integrate what just happened before launch into the nextCheck-out with application, reflection timeSpace to continue the conversation between time we meet (Miro, Jamboard, group chats.)Successful workshops live or die by engagement levelsDesign for connection before contentOnline reveals design flawsConnection brings engagementAgree on ground rules (practices, agreements.)Define where an organization is comfortable working in the space - meet people where they are Activities:Hi By Name - supports being seenVirtual Charades - Virtual Tour - give a tour of your virtual spaceSpecial of the Week - what are you most focused on this week?

Resources Mentioned:

Essentialismby Greg McKeownFrom Physical Place to Virtual Space by Gwen Sterling-WilkieRituals for Virtual Meetingsby Glenn Fjardo and Kursat Özenç

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Check-In Question:

What personal quality do you know people appreciate about you?

Big Ideas:

3 attitudes - Unconditional Responsibility, Essential Integrity, Ontological HumilityOntology - Philosophy related to being, relationships one has to beingDividing responsibility starting from 100% doesn't work, each person has 100% responsibility for themselvesKeeping your word is not the same as honoring your wordKeeping your word with others sometimes means NOT keeping your word with yourself Integrity is different for every person because everyone's values are differentHumility being pushed, but is it really what people need or expectIt's all about our mindset - we can see things as a challenge or an opportunityYou can chooseWhen am I saying it was external circumstances, versus my responsibilitiesWhen feeling overwhelmed, easier to point to external circumstances because feels more overwhelmingPlayer and victim - the player takes responsibility, the victim doesn'tTake responsibility for not knowingCircle of concern and circle of influence - when we focus on our circle of concern, we diminish our ability to influenceWe don't have a lot of influence on the "IT", but we do have responsibility for the "I" The answer is not to worry about what we can't controlTrust is important before creating change and influencing othersCoaching and psychotherapy are about helping people take responsibilitySociety that is very outcome based ("It" based) Most effective when we operate from our basic human valuesPeople can share values, even those values show up differentlyWhat's the difference between a value and a belief?Values versus virtues?Operationalizing values - from Brené BrownValues are a noun and define something abstract, Virtues are like a character trait Relativeness of point of view - can we know the truth?Employees need to feel safe to make mistakes, so as leaders we need to model itProving our way to success hooks our egoEgo gets hooked when focused on external validationHow we were conditioned to believe we were worthy influences our egoTallest poppy syndromeWhat's so difficult about being humble?Opinions being the end of democracy - how can you construct something without values? What's bigger than values? 

Resources:

Conscious Business by Fred KofmanThe Big Leap- Gay HendricksMan's Search for Meaning - Viktor FranklThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen CoveyThe 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

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Check-In Question:

If you were a vegetable, what vegetable would you be?

Big Ideas:

Theresa's BIG Reflection Question: How can I have an opinion or take a stand on something, without other people taking in personally, or feeling judged."Strong back soft front." ~Joan HalifaxIs taking a stand the same as having an opinion?How can you care about someone and want to persuade them that you are right?Can you take a stand without persecuting someone?Values as our standConversations don't always have to be confrontationsBe open to NOT wanting to change people's mindsPersuasion is different than explanation"For most of us the opposite of speaking isn't listening, it's waiting" ~Daniel PinkAsking people for their sources puts them on the defensiveLogos (what we say), Ethos (character of person), Pathos (affect we are creating in others)How convincing others doesn't work and often doesn't bear fruitJudging activities and not peopleDifference between judgment (good/bad) and discernment (like/don't like) The importance of the words we useSwap good/bad for useful/not useful to be less judgmentalThe lens we see things throughDivide between consequentialists (duty pound) and utilitarians (principle bound)We need to take a stand for things to changeHow relationships shift whether we need to take a standConstructive and destructive anger - fighting to be right, or for what is rightYou can't be fierce in a vacuumOur stand doesn't have to be other's standsIs making a decision taking a stand?Can our world exist without people taking a stand?Not just what we do, but the environment, timing, and people mattersHow/where does authority and power come into playDissention among individual contributors doesn't necessarily create changeTaking a stand when your manager gives you another projectNot just what you say, but how you say it matters

Resources Mentioned:

Joan HalifaxDaniel Pink"Fierce Self-Compassion" by Kristin NeffSinking of El Faro 

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Check-In Question:

What website do you visit multiple times a day?

Big Ideas:

What gets in the way of great leadership?Imposing my perspective/values on other peopleImposter syndrome leading to self-doubtWhen we don't address our own emotionsShame getting in the way of leadershipThe less we talk about emotions the more we feelNot talking about shame at work -- frustrations, fearDifference between shame (I am a failure) versus guilt (I failed at this project)Is shame a cohesion mechanism?Fault and mistake -- how are they different?Guilt can have a powerful impact when we see the gap between our values/intentions between our behaviorOne incidence can lead to either guilt or shameWhat do we say to ourselves when we make a mistake?How much are leaders using shame as a tool in leadership? Weaponizing shameThe opposite of shame - empathy and compassion, vulnerabilityFear of being a bad leader, leads us to not be vulnerableShame drives so much of our behavior in the background"Should" is a sign that there is something wrong with the relationshipShame Shields -- move away, move toward, move against (Freeze, fight, flee)Offloading shame on others - trying to hurt other people back4 Steps to Working Through Shame

Understand the shame triggersReality check the messages around perfectionReach out to share our stories with people we trustUse the word shame - use the words gives you power

Giving names to our shame shields/defense mechanisms or using symbols or personalities to states of mind, gives us control to themBeing a better leader starts with awareness

Resources:

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené BrownEmotional Intelligence by Daniel GolemanDare to Lead by Brené BrownLinda Hartling

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Check-In Question:

Who is the most likeable person that you know?

Big Ideas:

Taking breaks - why we do it, why we don't, etcReal vacation, no work AND vacation, but thinking about workTaking a break means NOT thinking about workHaving some location separation between work and homeCan't compartmentalize work and personal life Is separating work and home life valid anymore? Communication between work and home so the pressure doesn't buildSetting permeable boundariesBreaks to process what just happened and what might happen nextCreating space to think deeplyDistinction between taking breaks and creating spaceBreaks having no purpose, spaces having purposeAre we taking breaks to be lost in thought?Do we need to give space for our brains to breathe?Finding likeable moments in the everydayTravail (work in French) comes from a word related to tortureCreate a life you don't need to take a break fromBill Gates and his "Think Week"How our mindset affects our experiencesMindset matters to a point, but if your basic needs aren't being met, it only matters up to a pointFreedom outside the pressures.Cultural components of taking breaksDrivers to what success looks shifts among culturesWhat's best for me at this moment?Creating breaks allow us to createCovid allowed people to see how creating new spaces was good for themHow shift away from the idea that taking breaks is a luxury?Accepting what is now, but not necessarily being content with it"The opposite of play is not work, it's depression."So much of what we do is purpose/results oriented, and breaks seem purposeless

Question for Listeners:

Why do you take breaks? How?

References:

Severance SeriesEssentialism by Greg McKeown

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Check-In Question:

Do you  like working from home? How to create community in virtual spaces

Big Ideas:

What's our magic, our thing, our niche, etc? The importance of FUNTech issues we encountered - Theresa's slow connectionTypes of episodes: Quotes and Question, Guests, Shoot from the Hip, Coaching One Another - Listeners, what is your favorite episode type? Learning from other people's perspectivesModeling getting tough feedbackTitles engage people - "Click Bait"Being more strategic about marketingPeople interested in the content more than who we are as peopleUsing other people to challenge our thinkingElement of spontaneity and funStanding on other people's shoulders for visibilityDo you like the "The" and "Episode" bookmarking the episodes?

Resources Mentioned:

Rituals for Virtual Meetings by Glenn Fajardo and 
Kursat OzencFrom Physical Space to Virtual Space  by  Gwen Sterling-Wilkie

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Enjoy this spontaneous, unplanned conversation which turned into an episode :)

BIG IDEAS:

Relationship being more important than the giftDo gifts pollute or change the relationship?Polluting versus enhancing? What do we do with compliments?Genuine connections over the "connect and pitch"Link between connections and gifts to worthinessWhen we don't accept a gift, we rob someone of the joy in givingThe 5 Love Languages, - Touch, Service, Words of Appreciation, Gifts, Quality TimeThe gaps between how we like to give and receive loveAdapt love language to a work situationSupporting peer-to-peer displays of appreciationUnderstanding our love language based on what we like to giveReferrals from the heart, or referrals for a percentage?Transparency in making referrals"Send the elevator back"

RESOURCES:

The 5 Love Languages by Gary ChapmanTake the 5 Love Languages QuizWorkHuman 

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Check-In Question:

What is money good for?

Big Ideas:

Two kinds of money --  those that fulfill our needs, and those that we think will fulfill our needs, but don't.Indigenous tribes that don't use money. Question of whether it is essential?"Money isn't the problem. Money isn't good or bad. Money itself doesn't have power or not have power. It is our interpretation of money, our interaction with it, where the real mischief is and where we find the real opportunity for self-discovery and personal discovery. The tool doesn't have power.When you have money, you can make different choices.Yes, you can have power without money. (ex Rosa Parks)Is causation, money then power, or power than money? Power on a spectrum in line with money.Choice as a sense of powerVoting with your feet Difference between local and global economics - buying local and the sense of community that comes with itWe have a role in how the money is distributed.Supporting the local economy and local employmentThe 3 Toxic Myths of Scarcity : #1 There is not enough, #2 More is better, #3 That's the Way it IsExperiencing companies wanting more (people, skills, objectives, etc.)Band-aids as the only support because 'That's Just the Way It is."The relationship between value and money. Does the price determine value?Value-based versus time-based pricingMatching your pricing to regional values and the marketValue can differ even if price is the same (too many external factors)Price has to be high enough to be taken seriouslyUsing internal resources to respond to a scarcity of external resourcesSupport becomes more apparent when times are scarceLook for new relationships/resources when times are scarceLimits and constraints create innovationWe often have resources within us, that we forget about because we often think of assets outside of ourselvesIf you don't have time, what do you have? Spending matching valuesMoney being like waterCharity being a redistribution mechanismIf money doesn't come to you, where will it go? Is this place "better"?

Resources Discussed:

The Soul of Money by Lynne TwistJerry Maquire movieStretch by Scott SonensheinTED talk by Lynne TwistThink Again by Adam Grant

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Check-In Question:

What do you think people regret the most when they look back on their life? 

Big Ideas:

Different stages of life: the call, the messy middle, the resolutionLife being one long journey, with lots of small hero's journeys throughoutStage 1: Ordinary World; Stage 2: The Call to Adventure; Stage 3: Refusal of the Call; Stage 4: Meeting with a Mentor; Stage 5: Crossing the 1st Threshold; Stage 6: The Adventure (enemies, shadows, etc); Stage 7: The ElixirSaying no in my mind, and not feeling like I had a choice.When our ego says that we don't have a choiceWhen our mentors muddle the waters by giving us another perspective, which doesn't align with our values or intuitionWho is the 'right' person to ask? Going to the outside for advice because we don't trust ourselvesHaving a challenge network (band of pirates) to rattle us and keep us integrityUse criticism as a way to reinforce our valuesCan you refuse a call and be the same afterwards?Choices aren't always crossroads, but exits on a highway.Archetypes: The Hero, the Mentor, The Threshold Guardian, The Herald, The Shape-Shifter, The Shadow, The Ally, The Trickster -- all at the service of the hero. The journey is the hero's search for identity and wholenessWe can't always see the arc of our own hero's storiesOur blinders can prevent us from seeing the truth of our lifeImportance of getting perspective to see the stories we are inLook at your life as a story Sometimes we don't see when we need to go to the balcony to get perspectiveIs the shero/heroine journey different from the hero journey?

Resources Mentioned:

The Top 5 Regrets of the Dyingby Bronnie WareThe Writer's Journey by Christopher VoglerThe Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph CampbellUntamed by Glennon DoyleThink Againby Adam GrantRoger Fisher and William Ury from the Harvard Negotiation Project

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Check-In Question:

Do you think it's appropriate to cry at work, and when was the last time you cried at work? 

Big Ideas:

Is appropriate the right word to refer to having emotions at work?Judgment behind the work appropriatePermission to have the full range of emotions, even at workHow criticism brings up a sense of threat, even if we don't consciously think of itThe importance of specific feedback, so we know what to do differently or more ofNegativity biasWhat makes feedback appropriate, useful, or adequate? Imposter syndromeKnowing what triggers us to get defensiveHow style interacts with purpose/vision, from a tactical perspectiveClarity up front about your styleTurning threats into opportunitiesMaking our methods/styles into a differentiating factors (USP)What are people's expectations before engaging in a learning space?Is the feedback touching the core of who I am, or is it more tactical? Looking at making abstract ideas more actionable"Our judgments are the tragic expressions of our unmet needs" ~Marshall RosenbergBias coming from expectationsRespecting and honoring other people's feedback and their stories, rather than explaining away or defending their perspectiveLetting some feedback float away in the distanceLooking at the needs behind people's feedbackHow are we prioritizing feedback? Is the feedback in line with our values? What feedback are we holding on to, and what are we letting go? 

References:

No Hard Feelingsby Liz Fosslien and Mollie West DuffyBig Feelingsby Liz Fosslien and Mollie West DuffyBrené Brown's discussion of creating observable behaviors for abstract ideas in the book Dare to LeadMarshall Rosenberg and Non-Violent CommunicationAtlas of the Heartby Brené Brown

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Check-In Question:

Would there be more or fewer people leaving their jobs (divorces)  if people could read each other's minds? 

Big Ideas:

The importance of candor in organizationsHow we do candor mattersThe culture of candor matters - sometimes labeled a non-team player if point out mistakesSafety as it relates to communication styles - direct/indirectOur own relationship to threat and how it relates to psychological safetyTwo people can be on the same team, and one can feel safe and another notThe company needs people to feel psychological safeHow we receive candor mattersThe stories we create about our sense of safety, versus the reality of our safetyOur personal agency when it comes to being safe at workRules of engagement for our candor for both the giver and receiverScaffolding to our candor - meeting people where they areBalance candor with empathyHaving the conflict about the issues, NOT the peopleBridge the connection and the work together Not just what we do, but how we do itIs how we treat each other more important than what we do? Seeing our employees as not just rational beings, but emotional beings as wellIt's not about balance, but counterbalance. Yes/And rather than Either/OrDo our ideas about our company belong to us or our company? Interplay between voice and silence within an organizationSilence as a sign of psychological safety - hearing people think in silence, space between contributions shows listeningHaving a seat at the table doesn't mean having a voiceCollective intelligence - equal time of speaking is one of the factorsIncreasing psychological safety also increases collective intelligencePsychological safety as an outcome, there is no formulaHonoring people's voices without forcing their voices

Resources Mentioned:

'The Fearless Organization' by Amy Edmondson'Principles' by Ray DalioGoogle's Project Aristotle

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What kinds of things you'll learn about us:

What we individually create in our work, and what forWhat makes Theresa happy about her workThe company Vincent would want to change The artist/band Theresa would take with her to a deserted islandThe book Vincent would read for the rest of his lifeTheresa's most badass leadership moment What Theresa would do with her one magic wandThe leadership lesson Vincent keeps having to learn again and againHow Vincent is like his fatherTheresa's key to a happy professional lifeWho Theresa would have dinner with if she couldHow Vincent reads so the info stays aliveWhat brings Theresa a sense of aweWhat makes Vincent a reader

Resources Mentioned:

Karpman's Drama TriangleKristin Neff on Self-CompassionBrené BrownElizabeth LesserJim Kwik - Brain Coach

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With Guest Suzanne Lee from Straumann Group

Big Ideas:

Intimate relationship between leadership and learningLeadership is an invitation to tomorrow that is better than todayPerform for today, transform for tomorrow - learning and listening is at the coreLearn faster than the environment is changingThe I, the We and the It -- learning must happen on those 3 dimensions or you leave others behindLearning is a mindset, not a tool, process, or life hackChange is speeding up, so must learn faster than the change so we don't get swallowed upTaking responsibility for our workloadsLearning as a value, so I make it happen no matter what is on my plateWhat am I okay with not doing perfectlyDon't bother with time management hacks, be okay with not getting things doneIntentionality of own growth, team growth, and individuals on teams growthHow to reconcile performance with learning and what's on our plateEven within a system that won't help you keep your boundaries, if you have a discipline of reflection and perspective-taking, you can focus more on transformCreate the space and time to reflect and learnReject victim stanceIf not intentional, life takes overLearning on the job, not in the jobLearning will get pushed to the bottom if it is an additional taskIf learning is a business priority to do your current job better, it's not a separate taskIntegrating the learning and reflection into the work as you do itLearning not as an additional to-do that no one has time forChallenge transforming from doing to learning -- great at perform, not so much at transformBuilding in micro-moments of reflection70% of a learning organization is about the culture and leadership, not the toolsUnless it is seen around them, they won't do it on their ownImmediacy bias -- focus on today, not the futurePersist in the struggle because it shows you are onto something - trust the processDebate the topic not the personHow move from hub and spoke model, to a community of practice where we are all accountable Leading more from behind than right out on frontCuriosity and coaching mindset rather than advice givingBounce your worlds with othersShared accountability

References:

Unleashed by Frances Frei & Anne Morriss4000 Weeks by Oliver BurkemanThe Power of Giving Away Power by Matthew Barzun

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Vincent starts off with a story….

Big Ideas:

Don’t take employees monkeys, or it turns into a zooEmployees need to keep their own monkeysLeaders and managers are not necessarily the sameIt’s exhausting and unsustainable for a manager to take everyone’s monkeysIt’s natural for managers to take things off people’s plates. They think it’s their job. How are we supporting people’s transition from individual contributor to management? What is the role of a manager? The shift from owning your work, to overseeing the work of the individual contributors work, without taking it onRole of the manager is to make obstacles go away (organization, finances, resources, team dynamics, psychological safety, recruiting, etc)Manager to focus on the conditions - preparing the space by removing obstacles, and putting things inCreating the conditions for competencies to be builtShould we let employees fail?The relationship between failure and trust.Creating the culture and context for failure is importantNot taking on the failures of individual contributors as our own failures - accountability infectionFail fast, fail early, fail oftenPeople are already failing. Are they doing something with it? As leaders, help them through the failure.The emotional response to the words we use, including failHow are leaders talking about failure?Naming emotions and experiences so that we can have power over itLooking at our fail points ahead of time, so we can pivot soonerHow we keep persisting on to avoid failure even when it’s the wrong pathLooking at our fail points allows us to know whether the risk is worth itDoing more of the same strategy doesn’t work if it’s the wrong strategyTest, Assess, ActAgile working, sprints, and retrospectivesUsing the scientific method and testing hypothesesWhat have I done? What will I do? What are my obstacles?Agile working - product management and scrum master

References:

The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey by Ken BlanchardThe Leadership Pipeline by Ram CharanAtlas of the Heart by Brené BrownTaking Smart Risks by Doug SundheimTrust Matters by Ken Blanchard

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Check in Question:

Do you believe criminals can be truly rehabilitated in prison? 

Big Ideas:

“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”Fear of people who are different than usThe costs of the advice trap that leads to dysfunction in teamsAdvice is personal and the transfer of it doesn’t alway flourish in another context, or with another personBest practices shift based on context, and means that there is only one.We don’t live in a linear world, so there can’t be a best. Advice creates demotivated advice receivers and overwhelmed advice giversAdvice creates a short term solaceAdvice is everywhere and we all seem to like giving it outIs sharing of information giving advice? Sometimes the expertise and advice is wrong for youThe power of the scientific process (randomized trials)Selling your idea as “THE” ideaIs the problem the assumption behind the advice and not the advice itself?The importance of drawing out the ideas of all people, and being attuned to why they aren’t sharing their ideasThe person who talks the most often has the “power” in a situation.Are we willing to share our voice and have power dynamics shift as a result?How to hold power? Being worthy of power.Power with people versus power over othersWhen we interact with people who want our advice and expect to receive itThe people who want to be told what to do, and the people who love to tell others what to doWhat about the cultures where giving advice is a natural part of life because it is a passing along of knowledge? What’s the middle way?Is advice giving a way to exert power over othersThe intention behind the advice giving has many nuancesThe dynamics of the relationship matters when it comes to advice giving/receiving

References:

The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay StanierThe Unforgivable(movie with Sandra Bullock)Adam GrantElias Porter – 6 Listening AttitudesChatter by Ethan CrossQuiet by Susan CainThe Power of Giving Away Power by Matthew BarzunThe Karpman Drama TriangleThe Wisdom of Coaching

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With Guest: Tames Rietdijk, founder and former CEO at Business Forensics

Check in Question:

Did you ever play hooky or cut class in school?

Big Ideas:

Learning as a way of lifeBalance between “living the life of my knowledge, living of the knowledge of life”Would lose perspective if I focused my learning on only one areaLiving of the knowledge of life is learning from the signs and your interpretation Sometimes your environment doesn’t always allow you to transform you into who you want to beNot using the knowledge of the past to inform the futureLearning through experiences and reflectionPutting myself out of my comfort zone to apply what I am learning from booksThe range of people’s opinions from failure to successLearning from the feedback of others that is the opposite of the feedback you would give yourselfThe importance of looking at your drivers (sometimes they are hidden)The habit of relearning The importance of seeing the business world from the inside, rather than studying it from the outsideLetting go of people who may be super productive, but who give feedback in a critical mannerThe power of silenceThe sense of reassurance and certainty that comes with data and numbersSupporting people to learn and understanding that people’s experience and maturity shifts how they learnThe difference between mentoring and coaching and how to apply them with those you leadA sense of autonomy mattersCritical and conscious thinking and the importance of being mindful of your own assumptions Recognizing your own assumptions and beliefs, so that you based your decisions on factsThe older you get, the more knowledge you gain, and the more experiences you have, yet the more stuck you are in your assumptions.Thinking your assumptions are the truth makes it harder to step back from themExperiencing the knowledge so that you internalize your learning moreThe training triangle between participants, trainer, and knowledge

References:

Gary Vaynerchuk

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Check in Question:

If you could spend a whole day with any one person, who would it be?

Big Ideas:

Learning from anyone through their experiencesThinking that one has potential doesn’t commit to anything, but believing that people have the keys to their own happiness and that you are equalsSeeing your children as your teacher, rather than you as their teacher.Equalize the relationship to reduce status/rank, and exploring how the relationship shifts when we relate to them with more equityChildren not as spongers, but as mirrors.Start looking at those who we thinking can’t teach us anything, to teach us something. Shifting power dynamics so we are all on the same levelStepping down the pedestal, and/or inviting people up onto our pedestal, or giving ourselves permission to step upMoving from calling people patients to clients to create more of a partnershipFitting in, being liked, and societal shoulds being the drivers away from who we are, and our authentic selvesBalancing group dynamics with personal needsTension between who we think we are and what the group needs - finding the “right” groupTransparency about who you are as a leader and asking team to hold you accountable to being who you areWhich comes first, trust or vulnerability? Creating relationships where there is more reciprocity with intentionIn a “help relationship”, both parties are helping each otherNot needing to be someone special to support other people and have a special role in their growth and/or learningFinding mutuality in our relationships

References:

The Carl Rogers ReaderThe Conscious Parent by Dr. Tsabary ShefaliGedankenexperimentAtlas of the Heart by Brené BrownMarc Brackett researcherSocial Identity TheoryNon Violent Communication by Marshall RosenbergHealing Circles GlobalTime to Think by Nancy KleinMary Parker Follett

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Check In Question:

If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? 

Big Ideas:

“Living is learning to die”Having a “north star” that is worth dying for (a just cause)Sinek’s belief that businesses are focusing on money, not on a cause.How to transition or connect a non-“sexy” business to having a just cause?Our “just cause” shouldn’t be tied to a service or product, so we can have “existential flex”How do businesses measure success? Financial, Social, Ecological?An infinite game isn’t about winning. The goal is to keep playing.Winning and losing is short-term, fixed mindset.Can you be competitive without winning? In the infinite game, the rules are consistently shifting.The business shift toward business as a result of ideas from Milton FriedmanThe shift in pay scales between employees and CEO’s over the last several decadesReciprocity and giving it backHow we latch onto ideas and how ideas can changeIs making money the primary purpose of business, or the secondary?Move people up the hierarchy of importance in businessMoving away from doing business for the shareholders, and focusing on the employees and their contributionsImbalance in how we measure financial success with regard to employees and shareholders.How to do capitalism different? Who defines capitalism? The constellation mindset rather than a pyramid mindsetA small amount of investment from a large amount of people can tip the scalesThinking of our business as hunting (short term) or farming (longing)People want to feel valued and a part of the journeyThe importance of cultivating relationships as farmers

References:

The Infinite Game by Simon SinekThe Power of Giving Away Power by Mathew BarzunAdam SmithMilton FriedmanGravity Payments The Soul of Money by Lynne TwistPodcast between Simon Sinek and Matthew Barzun

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