For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and - in his final appearance - David Walker for the closing Adjudication Panel of the season. On the agenda: the Premier League's "Pure Referee's Name XI", a deep data dive on footballers' appearances on celebrity TV shows, the criteria for "waltzing through" a defence, a textbook end-of-season rallying cry from Sean Dyche and Richard Keys' Premier League predictions revisited. Meanwhile, the panel decide who is and isn't allowed to be included in the "spine" of a team and enjoy David's best bits from his three years of the Clichés pod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its eighth edition, and the stakes have been raised for defending champion Michael Cox as his challenger this time is none other than Adam Hurrey himself, with past-winner Charlie Eccleshare stepping into the quizmaster's chair. Cox and Hurrey duke it out over another five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including the Keys & Gray round, guessing the price of video calls with retired footballers on Cameo, mid-00s world cup squad battles and much more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: What type of goal is the most "still had work to do" goal possible, the No 1 religious reference to deploy during a live TV commentary, the greatest recorded example of something other than a goal being "cheered like a goal", ambient household noise and the "Phantom Drury Effect", and the lowest-profile footballer who could end up on a celebrity reality TV show. Meanwhile, the panel examine a US term for a goalkeeper spilling a low cross in their own six-yard box, while Charlie's Premier League Years memory skills go beyond parody. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: some tense Serie A small talk with an Italian, the Russian football equivalent of being “on the beach”, the concept of being "the first name on the teamsheet", whether a goalkeeper can ever be "on fire" and some football-inspired language from the wider world. Meanwhile, the panel ponder why some footballing acts are said to be out of the “top drawer” and look back at Howard Webb's bid for VAR transparency on Sky's Monday Night Football. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: stress-testing a “knows the club” coefficient model, the threshold for a club “going down with a whimper”, an exhaustive list of football’s “promised lands” and whether Michael Olise's latest assist was the epitome of a "ping". Meanwhile, the panel discuss Arsenal vs Brighton in the Premier League's "day out" derby and a retiring referee giving his cards to a fan in the crowd. *** • This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp dot com slash FC today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker welcome the listeners' May entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, with the Clichés faithful nominating their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the futility of fans trying to put off penalty-takers, the dying art of commentators just listing players’ names as they pass the ball, some niche observations on the wearing of base layers, the non-committal language for champions-elect and the precise parameters for shouting "WELL IN!" Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel hear of the most forward-thinking under-5s football team in the world and admire the inevitable end game for Erling Haaland vs Dixie Dean. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: The managerial disciplinary tightrope, when old-fashioned No 9s first became “old-fashioned”, the subtle difference between "score" and "scoreline", the language of Erling Haaland not scoring a goal, an entirely understandable misconception of “at sixes and sevens” and tenuous football curses. Meanwhile, the panel help a listener with his spice-rack league table and decide where and when it's most appropriate for a player to do the “geeing up the crowd” gesture. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the spiralling language of Chelsea's meltdown, ChatGPT selects its Mesut Haaland Dicks, reducing Sam Allardyce's Leeds unveiling to its purest essence, how far into added time counts as "deep into added time" and what constitutes a title-race "twist". Meanwhile, the panel try and pin down when football's "modern era" began and Charlie wrestles with a encyclopaedia-level definition of "The Barclays". *** • This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Find more balance with BetterHelp by heading to BetterHelp.com/FC today to get 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Kasper Schmeichel's Monday Night Football punditry debut, Roy Keane spotted at the snooker, Rishi Sunak’s Northern Premier League Division One East play-off final rallying cry, podcaster Sam Allardyce returning to top-flight management and a 27-year wait for the final piece of a football-culture jigsaw is finally, sensationally ended. Meanwhile, the panel decide if a listener should name their child after the Championship top scorer and if a new signing could ever be described as "like a player returning from a long injury". *** • Find more balance with BetterHelp by heading to BetterHelp.com/FC today to get 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: More surname-based goal celebrations, football punditry's equivalent of a solar eclipse, Erling Haaland and the most “he’s got his goal” goal ever scored, destiny brings together two Clichés listeners on a dating app and ChatGPT attempts to compile a "Streets Won't Forget" XI. Meanwhile, the panel decide what constitutes a "family club" and assess the worst fictional footballer in the history of American straight-to-TV love films. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: a handball-appeal hat-trick at Ipswich, the most “left on the halfway line to defend when your team has a corner” player ever, a brand new option for shot-velocity metaphors, the quickest turnaround for a topical chant in Premier League history and the BBC take on Sky in a "Sting spotted in the stands at Newcastle" pun-off. Meanwhile, the panel debate why the word "delivery" is exclusive to set pieces or crosses and what the threshold should be for away fans demanding a refund. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Michael Cox to compile a lineup of players whose myths, auras and internet legacies have eclipsed their mortal footballing existences. The selection process takes in cartoon goalkeepers of the 1900s, defenders who played on one leg for half their career, "Scholes, of Manchester", a midfielder who defined both an entire role AND sparked the most boring football debate of all time, the token striker who was good on a computer game when you were 15, an 8,000-word Wikipedia page and the big question: Zlatan or Eric? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel for the 250th episode of the pod. The agenda includes: the new world record for keepy-uppies, Rolls Royces at the snooker, horses finding pockets of space at the Grand National, the least textbook knee-slide celebration in Premier League history, a Match of the Day viewer uncovers some bizarre audio that nobody had ever noticed. Meanwhile, the panel appraise the traditional vantage point of watching football from a nearby tree and try to define the classic footballing "departments". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With 249 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast. This week we head back to episode 69 to identify exactly what elements a stadium needs to make it a cauldron, and from episode 84 we provide the boffins at EA Sports with a raft of suggestions as to how they could improve FIFA by including the most mundane footballing animations possible. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain the listeners' April entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, with the Clichés faithful nominating their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are being the self-appointed "shouter" at 5-a-side, the quaint radio practice of commentators telling you which team is playing "from right to left", the intricate game within a game of winning a corner off a defender's shins, the out-of-possession whistling of Continental home crowds and a comprehensive cataloguing of every possible naming convention for second-tier leagues in world football. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoys "the most Neil Warnock thing ever heard in a Hollywood action film". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Whose hands the Premier League title race is actually in now, the threshold for a young starlet having “the world at their feet”, a listener's Sunday League instincts kick in at an office meeting and a quickfire Keys & Gray Corner. Meanwhile, the panel ponder whether "the streets will forget" Teemu Pukki and if a wrestling match can ever be "end to end". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: a potential new career option for Frank Lampard, "the most 5-a-side goal the Premier League has ever seen", stadiums that have their own famous "roar", and Keys & Gray tell (again) the story of the birth of the Premier League. Meanwhile, the panel decide what makes a team "too good to go down" and what might make a side think their "name is on the cup". *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the need for a collective noun for manager sackings, some deluxe-level Peter Drury commentary, the mid-weekend shorthand language of title races and the most ‘on in the background during a pub lunch’ fixture of all. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the footballing verb "to stun" in a modern context and begin the search for the most unthreateningly-named hooligan firm in the UK *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast. This week we head back to episode 216 to discuss the threshold for describing whether Player X has Player Y 'on toast', and from episode 77 we uncover the origins of the famous Alan Hansen and Jimmy Hill clips from the start of Three Lions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Nick Miller are joined by comedian and YouTube star Max Fosh for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Max's selections are the precise thought process behind a switch of international footballing allegiance, the late-1990s Premier League obsession with Vicks VapoRub, the very modern power struggle between trained stewards and elite players when someone invades the pitch for a selfie and players with a museum to themselves in their own house. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel bemoan the collapse of all standards when it comes to publishing the simple information that is group tables. Produced by Mike Stavrou. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the Window Cleaning World Cup, whether Harry Kane really has "smashed" the England goalscoring record, a very footbally reason why the second Persian invasion of Greece in 479 BC ended in defeat, the English football kit-manufacturer pyramid and the definitive hierarchy of silly football Wikipedia editing. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the requirements to make a game "The {Player X} Show", and take a philosophical approach to the concept of "tap-ins". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast. This week we head back to episode 109 for an extraordinarily detailed look at what constitutes 'unfinished business', and from episode 94 we rejoice in hearing all about Kevin Keegan's appearance at the 2021 Meat Management Industry Awards. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Marking the demise of Soccer AM by selecting its ultimate guest lineup, "The Messi of Maths" and his equivalent of the cold, wet Tuesday night in Stoke, some very alternative goal commentary from the archives and an unexpected footballing name pops up in Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Meanwhile, the panel dissect the art of the Wacky Friday Press Conference Question and try to statistically crown the "tidiest" player in the Premier League. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: The most punworthy FA Cup quarter-final in living memory, Nike vs Warner Bros in a Ted Lasso kit saga, the player eligible to play for the most different countries, tracking down the goalkeeper cited in an unfortunate dictionary definition and, once again, checking in with good old Richard Keys. Meanwhile, the panel debate whether it's better to be a "handy" side or a "useful" one and which Premier League fixtures just belong in a certain year. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast. This week we head back to episode 61 to examine the true meaning of the phrase 'Basement Boys', and from episode 95 we bring you the midfield selections & deliberations of the Pure Europa League XI Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, James Maw and Jack Lang field March's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are childish (and borderline pathetic) nicknames fans give for local rivals' home grounds, the precise rhythm and intonation of a perfect full-time whistle, the catharsis of complimenting opposition players at Sunday League, teams being guilty of trying to score the perfect goal, goalkeepers who rush out with the ball from a corner only to find nobody to distribute it to and the eternal and unexplained flaw of Wikipedia football career summaries *** • Get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/EPL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: surveying the wreckage of the weekend's Match of the Day saga, an unexpected Indian summer for one English manager's career, a Premier League referee texting into a music radio station and yet another example of a thing being dubbed the Rolls-Royce of Item X. Meanwhile, the panel wonder who - if anyone - can lay claim to being "the voice of football" in 2023. ** • Get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/EPL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast, this week we head back to episode 154 for the definitive discussion on what constitutes the concept of 'Dreamland', from episode 78 we attempt to define what makes a goal a 'solo effort', and finally one of the most ridiculous clips in Football Cliches history as Pierre Emile Hoijberg shows "no disrespect to egg" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: some professional musicians wade into the Sheffield Wednesday/ABBA saga, a thorough fact-check of Dion Dublin’s goalscoring boasts on Homes under the Hammer, the parameters for a "slaloming" dribble, the most versatile generic football fan outburst of all and arguably the best parody-metal song about the 1994 World Cup final you have ever heard. Meanwhile, the panel pin down the most "Mickey Mouse cup" in football and identify the most Premier League club never to have played in the Premier League. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Some more joyous local radio co-commentary, the least expected product in the world to be described as a "Rolls-Royce", Martin Tyler and Peter Drury on proverbial cake-topping scorelines and an unprecedented way of saying a game is still goalless. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for a seventh edition. Reigning champion Michael Cox looks to retain his title once more as the takes on ex-Opta information ace Duncan Alexander across another five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including Things In Football That Somehow Have Never Happened, the Premier League's foreign influx, top-flight managers with moustaches and much more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Using the word "champions" for cup winners, Jurgen Klinsmann's perfect new job, a brief history of Steve McManaman measuring space in ounces, a Sheffield Wednesday fan's ABBA dilemma and the looming prospect of a "Big Seven" in English football. Meanwhile, the panel decide what constitutes a defender "doing just enough" and ponder whether "upfield" and "downfield" really do mean the exact same thing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast, this week we head back to episode 61 to bring you an unprecedented pronunciation of an area of the pitch that made the Clichés panel reassess everything they thought they knew, and even further back in episode 46 Elis James blew our minds by helping us discover the most recognisable piece of generic football crowd noise you'll ever hear Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field February's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are watching football through a pub window, the five specific scenarios that allow you to chant "SIGN HIM UP!", players being photoshopped into the kit of the team trying to sign them and substitutes who creep onto the pitch while they're warming up. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel look ahead to Graeme Le Saux's stand-up comedy debut, enjoy the sons of two Barclays-era names going head to head in the National League and assess an AI-generated vision of the footballing loves and hates of Richard Keys. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. • Get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/EPL • Take advantage of MANSCAPED®’s best valued bundle and save 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code EPL23 at Manscaped.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: a Premier League centre-back namechecked on Frasier 29 years ago, what scorelines qualify as "a rout", a Match of the Day commentator responds to our scepticism over his description of a header, North Korean football journalism and a scandalous football-related question on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Meanwhile, the panel check in on an April 2022 prediction from Richard Keys about Erik ten Hag. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. • Get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/EPL • Take advantage of MANSCAPED®’s best valued bundle and save 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code EPL23 at Manscaped.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast, this week we bring you a snippet of the Sam Allardyce XI and relive the now infamous Cometh The Hour-gate Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by comedian and writer Josh Pugh for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Josh's selections are players who go to World Cups because they're "good to have around", the phrase "bringing the ball under their spell", Sunday League pre-season regimes and the complex philosophy of "playing football the right way". Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some more quintessential Glenn Hoddle co-commentary and an ex-player very politely editing their own Wikipedia page. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: whether Carlo Ancelotti is the most international team-y manager who’s never managed a national team, the difference between the midfield jobs of "sniffing out danger" and "putting out fires", some exquisitely-timed Match of the Day crowd noise and at what point a gap at the top of a league turns into a "procession". Meanwhile, the panel decide if a team can ever call themselves "the visitors", and what leads can be "raced into" . *** • Visit babbel.com/play and use code ATHLETIC at checkout to receive 6 months for free with purchase of a 6-month subscription • Building a bet just got easier! Visit livescorebet.com to find out more about how to make your selections today! 18+ only Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by broadcaster and 90s football video legend Nick Hancock for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Nick's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are the mundane details of timewasting, our evolving expectations of footballers' intellect, the curious mind games behind the late fitness test, manufactured matchday atmosphere, the vagaries of the football disciplinary process and lazy football merchandising. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel discuss whether football shorts really need pockets, Dayot Upamecano's voice coaching from an opera singer and a new level in weird goalnet sounds. Produced by Mike Stavrou. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. • Get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/epl • Get 6 months of Babbel language learning for free when you purchase a 6 month subscription by entering the code ATHLETIC at babbel.com/play Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: every recorded Jack Grealish reaction being fouled, the intensely disturbing vibe of Nathan Jones, the commentary turning point of Harry Kane's 267-goal Spurs compilation and an astonishing moment of radio-reporter synchronicity. Meanwhile, the panel decide when a team can be described as "high-flying" and discuss the nuanced meaning of the word "benched." Produced by Abi Paterson *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. • Get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/epl • Get 6 months of Babbel language learning for free when you purchase a 6 month subscription by entering the code ATHLETIC at babbel.com/play Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by James Horncastle and Michael Cox to compile the most representative lineup of players from the last 30 years of Italian football's technical quirks, huge egos and curious career paths. Their journey takes them from an early goalkeeping dilemma to an ancient but granite-reinforced back three, the inevitable Thomas Helveg, a textbook selection at left wing-back, an imported No 10 who stayed so long he essentially became Italian, a late-blooming domestic goal machine, an impish strike partner from the Gazetta golden era...and one fabled taskmaster to drill them all into a winning unit. *** Get 20% Off and FREE shipping with the code EPL23 at manscaped.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Duncan Alexander for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Brendan Rodgers talks about his 50th birthday in the most football way possible, the point at which goals compilations can go from "best" to "greatest", whether a fullback can be described as "box-to-box" and some far-fetched movie references on the BBC for Wrexham's FA Cup Hollywood heroics. Meanwhile, the panel decide the threshold for a stadium to become a "cathedral of football" and the precise location for a player to be "picking up the pieces". *** Get 20% Off and FREE shipping with the code EPL23 at manscaped.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by British comedy royalty Matt Lucas and his Fantasy Football League sidekick Elis James for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Matt's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are using football small talk to win over your other half's dad, the schadenfreude of watching the opposition's Fan TV YouTube channels after a win and the interrogation techniques faced by celebrity fans of big clubs. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some research-based, middle-class football chanting from the National League South. *** Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase of Athletic Greens at athleticgreens.com/epl Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the optimum order of the components of the "ignoring the outside noise" goal celebration, whether a goalkeeper can ever be a "passenger", an ambitious attempt to document all the types of footballing "stuff" and a potential successor to the outdated goalmouth-scramble descriptor of "Keystone Cops". Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Mikel Arteta being brought to touchline justice and pick apart a curious chant during Southampton vs Aston Villa. *** Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase of Athletic Greens at athleticgreens.com/epl Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller field January's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the need to explain dramatic football moments to nearby people who don't care, the provocative scourge of Combined XIs, the functional pointlessness of centre circles, and the underreported confusion of "Last 5 Matches" form graphics. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel assess the aftermath of the unprecedented live "sex noises" scenes on the BBC's FA Cup coverage. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: How and where players can "tear it up", whether it's possible to be a "lovely little player" in the NBA and transfer reporters clashing over the linguistic nuances of the January window. Meanwhile, the panel attempt to standardise one of the most cluttered punditry cliches of all and decide which Premier League goalkeeper most looks like an outfield player forced to go in goal. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by former Opta ace Duncan Alexander for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Duncan's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are lesser-known football-influencing dogs, the exact threshold at which an act of showboating triggers widespread hand-wringing and the poor souls who volunteer as assistant referees in youth football. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel mull over a third dimension to send a goalkeeper the wrong way with a penalty. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and - for his 100th appearance on the pod - David Walker. On the agenda: the specific footballing skills referenced most in football chants, what constitutes being "held to a draw" and a revolutionary but unacceptable usage of the oldest football cliché of all. Meanwhile, the panel consider the merits of "the Maracana of skiing" and weigh up the fundamental footballing differences between a "carthorse" and a "donkey". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the first Adjudication Panel of 2023. On the agenda: The administrative hurdles for stadiums being named after Pele, Goodison Park's first big boo of the year, a man who claims to have invented goalkeepers shouting "Away!" at corners, whether the concept of "gameweeks" is truly acceptable in mainstream football chat and Richard Keys' first niche complaint of 2023. Meanwhile, the panel attempt to define the footballing phrase "there or thereabouts" and decide who will be next on the Gary Neville's Soccer Box sofa. *** This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp, Visit betterhelp.com/fc today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The "whisper it quietly, but" phenomenon, more psychological Cliches Quiz warfare, when a "game of chess" becomes "cat and mouse", the footballing definition of "Johnny on the spot", Keys and Gray meet Sean Dyche, cometh the hour... cometh the scandal, The Premier League of Club Badges, the logistical nightmare of being a proverbial fly on a dressing-room wall, Gareth Southgate’s postman, a For My Sins Corner for the ages, the Woke VAR conspiracy, the greatest listeners’ MHD selection of the year and our personal World Cup broadcasting highlights. In the second of an end-of-year double-header, Football Clichés takes another look at the podcast's very best moments of 2022. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the first of an end-of-year double-header, Football Clichés takes another look at the podcast's very best moments of 2022, featuring: Plausible parliamentary football chants with Sir Keir Starmer, Les Miserables meets Serie A, Andy Townsend in and around the Foo Fighters, The Future Turkish Super Lig XI, the true origin of the proverbial "farmers’ league", bringing the great James Richardson down to our pedantic level, living rent-free in Match of the Day commentators’ heads, Keys & Gray's favourite recipes, Maisie Adam goes top bins (for her sins), the ultimate Gary Neville megamix, Tim Vickery in the Zone of Elaboration, Ian Darke’s mid-90s WWF voice twin, a Clichés Quiz rollercoaster of niche knowledge, off-duty Peter Drury, Birds of a Feather, "no disrespect to egg", the strategic, net-busting importance of the village of Bagworth and the most disturbing football montage of the year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the final Adjudication Panel of 2022. On the agenda: the finer details of the greatest World Cup final of all time, what kind of footballer that ubiquitous VIP Salt Bae would be, news of a multi-talented goalkeeper in the seventh tier and the last For My Sins Corner clash of the year Meanwhile, the panel imagine the parallel football existences of the Darts World Championship contenders. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the official description for the World Cup exits of all 14 vanquished nations in the knockouts, some late-1980s industrial hip hop featuring legendary commentator Brian Moore, Peter Walton goes toe-to-toe with the ITV pundits and some hidden cultural references in the BBC commentary. Meanwhile, the panel decide if the World Cup counts as "silverware" and take on Charlie's dream Sporcle football quiz. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: A poignant moment for the AI-powered Alan Smith commentary, the first ever player to plug their autobiography in a post-match interview, the most likely co-commentator to get annoyed about fans filming a free kick on their phones, Meanwhile, the panel establish the parameters for a player being "on toast" and pick the team that will win England the 2030 World Cup (based on all previous teams that were going to win England future World Cups.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Roy Keane's ITV kickabout goal celebration, a moral judgement on bringing on your third-choice goalkeeper when 4-1 up, how far down the football pyramid you can find "armchair fans", and when a Panenka isn't really a Panenka. Meanwhile, the panel compete in a tense For My Sins Corner double-header and unearth the most boring interview with a referee of all time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and James Maw on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: EastEnders scriptwriters getting in on the World Cup act, Qatar 2022's baffling obsession with 90s one-hit wonders, 19-year-old Jude Bellingham's age, whether the third-place playoff counts as a "knockout" game, and the least cool Brazilian footballer name ever seen. Meanwhile, the panel decide what entitles a tournament year to earn an “and all that” and enjoy Adam's remix of Three Lions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Other possible group-stage tiebreakers, the mythical status of tiddlywinks, a curious mid-tournament friendly result, kit colour combinations, a brief history of World Cup lanyard sizes and the ominous first words of a new artificial-intelligence football commentator. Meanwhile, the panel select the first names on their Pure Qatar 2022 World Cup XI teamsheet and wonder why you never hear about "big magicians". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Peter Drury announces himself to the Moroccan market, Martin Tyler's solo World Cup commentary marathon and whether the phrase "nil-all" should ever be allowed into the mainstream. Meanwhile, the panel establish the threshold of "scoring for fun" and speculate on charismatic Canada coach John Herdman's likely next move. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the least enviable venue to watch England vs USA, the most timeless World Cup fixture possible, a technical dismantling of Bebeto’s iconic USA '94 goal celebration and a sensational commentary moment involving a pigeon. Meanwhile, the panel decide which is the most "in the shop window" team of the tournament and declare a winner between the BBC and ITV's opening title sequences. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare on the first Adjudication Panel of the World Cup. On the agenda: England's eventful opener against Iran, the latest tedious tournament-predicting animal, a brave new world for on-screen possession statistics and David Beckham's crisps advert with Peyton Manning. Meanwhile, the panel break down the latest, Christmas-themed version of Three Lions and revisit the multi-layered comedy of Richard Keys' 2014 World Cup YouTube diaries.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Michael Cox prepare for the small matter of Qatar 2022 by selecting a team of players who are most disproportionately known for their World Cup exploits, from Mexican goalkeepers, and centre-backs, to diminutive Paraguayans, an Italian full-back on the wing, breakout stars turned run of the mill Premier League midfielders, an Englishman who clocked up the pre-tournament air miles, to genuine World Cup icons. They are also joined by Chris Evans, author of "How to win the World Cup - secrets and insights from international footballs top managers", to ensure that we pick the definitive manager to marshal our rag tag bunch to glory Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare on the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the most comprehensive post-defeat fronting-up in Premier League history, Peter Drury nails an unprecedented quadruple alliteration, confused baby-related goal celebrations, World Cup snubbings and squad-announcement-graphic layout woes. Meanwhile, the panel undertake a definitive exploration of footballing "huffing and puffing" and consider some future Premier League interim managers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As a widely-criticised winter World Cup approaches, The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by James Maw and Jack Pitt-Brooke to dream up a Perfect World Cup, composed of the best individual elements from the tournament's history. From the complex concept of the "dark horses" to optimum TV kick-off times, the greatest kits, the textbook controversies, the most rightful hosts and the ideal World Cup final winning goal....this is the Perfect World Cup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and James Maw on the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Which year each Champions League last-16 tie really belongs in, the mid-table vocabulary of Graham Potter, Peter Drury lending his voice to Aldi's Christmas advert and Ally McCoist's knowledge of the Ancient Greeks saves humanity once more. Meanwhile, the panel decide what constitutes a traditional "clattering", a second-half "onslaught" and what makes a player "raw" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by Joshua Robinson, co-author of new book Messi vs Ronaldo, to examine the way football has consumed the two greatest players of the modern era. From the textbook elements of Ronaldo's backstory to Messi's curiously non-famous voice, the more quaint examples of Ronaldo's ego running riot, bafflingly bad TV adverts, the goalscoring numbers, the terrible opinions and the prospect of one final twist in the 2022 World Cup final. Meanwhile, the pod imagine what Messi and Ronaldo's career paths would have been if they were simply half as good at football. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and James Maw on the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the "tunnel of doubt" tries to disrupt the stranglehold of the "corridor of uncertainty", football chants that just don't scan, some bawdy commentary from Martin Tyler, the superstar DJs who could derail England's World Cup dream and one of the best Halloween-themed Football League goals round-up voiceovers of all time. Meanwhile, the panel establish the difference between a ground "rocking" and "bouncing" and the definitive parameters of "working the goalkeeper" Produced by David Walker Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz returns ahead of Qatar 2022 with a special World Cup edition. Reigning champion Michael Cox aims to become the first to retain the title as he takes on former champion Charlie Eccleshare across five rounds of niche World Cup knowledge, including Evers & Nevers, World Cup Kits, Name That Squad and, of course, World Cup Clichés. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Did the Premier League bring badge-kissing to US sport? Can Tottenham's stadium be your "old stomping ground" if you only played for them at White Hart Lane? Is a "Panenka volley lob" physically possible? Meanwhile, the panel assess the concept of the "new-manager bounce" for hastily-appointed caretakers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by Sky Sports' chief touchline reporter Geoff Shreeves for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Geoff's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are pundits' pointless turns of phrase, microscopic modern shinpads, why Steve McClaren's infamous umbrella has also led to an anti-sunglasses stigma in football and the matchday heroics of the broadcaster's sound supervisors in capturing the noise of ball against woodwork. Adam and Charlie also pick their favourite extracts from Shreeves' new book Cheers, Geoff! Tales from the Touchline. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel for the 200th episode of the pod. On the agenda: the official end for football/politics crossover humour, former guest Doc Brown returns with a new twist on his big footballing bugbear, a deep dive into the MLS Assistant Referee of the Year award and some passionate co-commentary from the fabled "defenders' union". Meanwhile, the panel examine the word "effort" for goalscoring attempts and decide the threshold for penalty-area "pinball". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are identical wondergoals in the same match, the precise kind of player £6 million buys you these days, the dying art of strikers rounding the goalkeeper and the seemingly eternal, empty last five minutes of a half-time break. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the epidemic of non-regulation-height crossbars, Countdown's Susie Dent plants her flag on Clichés soil, a predictable twist for anti-VAR discourse and a very curious description of a Serie A penalty. Meanwhile, the panel debate if a striker can be the "heartbeat" of a team and whether a Sunday league team can have their own footballing "way". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for another Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the Oxford English Dictionary's new football-related entries, the six-year saga that Gareth Southgate and his opinionated postman and Glenn Hoddle adding to the sub-genre of Unexpected Co-Commentator Noises. Meanwhile, the panel decide how each footballing scoreline should best play out for the neutral and pick their lineup of cynical game-management aces for the Pure Timewasting XI Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: Kevin Keegan hosting yet another obscure industry awards ceremony, an Irish variation on the new-fangled "draught excluder", a close inspection of Erling Haaland's signed hat-trick ball and John Terry gets the standard BeIn Sports treatment over in Qatar. Meanwhile, the panel establish the criteria for a match to be labelled "men against boys" and whether differences in footballing class ever come in anything other than a "gulf". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker present a new monthly edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, in which the pod's army of listeners nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the Football Clichés faithful's selections are one very specific pass out from the back by a centre-back, international teams with just one world-class player, the tiny aesthetic things that briefly ruin a game for the neutral, wondergoals that turn out to be disappointing deflections and beaten teams being described as "brave". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this time: the technicalities of England's hotly-disputed open-play goal drought, darts taking the concept of "the 12th man" to an unprecedented new level, "acres of time" and the language of footballing spaces and some reassuringly universal-sounding Welsh co-commentary. Meanwhile, the panel discuss inappropriate typefaces for top-level trophy engraving. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker to select a lineup of players who made some unexpected, barely-computable stops in their careers. From goalkeepers who just couldn't quit, to graceful midfielders who were thrust into unenviable engine rooms and elite-level strikers who looked very odd in another club's shirt...these are the transfers that just sound so wrong. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel tear into the tenuous marketing speak for the new England shirts and pin down some classic footballing collective nouns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: a stock-take of the remaining Erling Haaland superlatives, commentators who greet certain goals with the words "AND HOW!", the maximum range a goalscorer can "give the goalkeeper the eyes" from and a delightfully subtle corruption of the old classic "hairdryer treatment". Meanwhile, the panel decide the thresholds for "a matter of minutes", "lighting the blue touchpaper" and "no less than [Team X] deserved". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The latest agenda includes: the grim reality of what would be the Premier League All-Star game, whether "minimal backlift" is actually a thing or not, the practicalities of being a proverbial half-time fly on a dressing-room wall and the difference between midweek "exploits" and "exertions". Meanwhile, the panel analyse the NFL’s slightly-too-literally-worded equivalent of our beloved Super Sunday theme tune. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: the NFL embraces the "cold, wet night in Stoke", alarming reports of ball plinths in the seventh tier, a comprehensive preview of San Marino's no-love-lost showdown with Seychelles, and the Premier League table of club badges. Meanwhile, the panel gracefully accept Adam's climbdown over the "cometh the hour, cometh the man" furore and Charlie takes on the Turkish Super Lig Transfer Window Quiz. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Jack Pitt-Brooke for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: dusting off the "Sacked Chelsea Manager discourse" phrasebook, David Beckham's latest Qatar tourism promo, Martin Keown's decade-long fixation with botanical co-commentary and details of the podcast's forthcoming UK & Ireland tour. Meanwhile, the panel argue over the precise conditions for "cometh the hour, cometh the man" and ponder the predominant emphasis used in the words "Champions League" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: players who deserve to have their names used as footballing verbs, Tony Pulis' apparently exclusive phrase of "leg beaters", some alarming US TV co-commentary from Lee Dixon and an unexpected debate about "unanswered goals". Meanwhile, the panel get stuck into a bumper edition of Keys & Gray Corner, as the boys out in Doha welcome none other than Sean Dyche to their podcast. The results are exceptional. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks by Rory Smith, chief soccer correspondent of the New York Times and author of the new book Expected Goals: The story of how data conquered football and changed the game forever. Among Rory's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are Premier League advertising hoardings for quaint local businesses; goalkeepers rooted to the spot as shots fly past them into the net; the unquestioned tradition of having a wall at a free kick and players who claim throw-ins that they know aren't theirs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: Whether or now away ends can "suck the ball into the net", a very curious usage of "rolling back the years", identifying the most "Crisis? What crisis?" team in the Premier League and an analysis of the footballing phrase "Johnny on the spot". Meanwhile, the panel decide which goal in a thrashing is the one that "adds gloss" and reflect on a big weekend for the complex concepts of Richard Keys, Arsenal and celebrating. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Jack Pitt-Brooke for a stock-take of all 20 Premier League clubs' transfer market identities: which precise sort of player encapsulates their transfer window habits in the modern era? And who is the most Club X player never to have signed for Club X? This journey through the transfer window and beyond includes: the England Under-21s of the early 2000s who somehow never played for Leeds; an entire lineup of overwhelmingly Bournemouth names; which club have the strongest obsession with goal-shy strikers; and the most by-the-numbers club-website transfer announcement ever seen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: the most expensive footballer of all time not to have a Wikipedia photo, a Portuguese twist on the old "six-pointer", corners being "wazzed" in, penalties being "lashed in", and some very curious half-and-half scarves at the King Power Stadium. Meanwhile, the panel try and make sense of the unfolding controversy over the abbreviation of EFL team-names and establish the “You know exactly what you’re going to get from a [Manager X] team” league table. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and James Maw for a journey deep into the ego of the Premier League. After 30 years of its self-declaration as the greatest - and hardest - league in the world, with its own physical, psychological and moral standards, the panel compile a lineup of players who have been tested the most by the Premier League's unique demands. From a symbolic, save-shy goalkeeper to tormented World Cup winners, forlorn figures, divers, spitters, showboaters and slowcoaches, these 11 players have had the most uncomfortable welcomes to the Premier League. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: Conor Coady breaks the "football club" world record for his Everton unveiling, the harmless but inappropriate theme tune for ITV's EFL highlights, some textbook Peter Drury at Brentford and why goalkeepers' saves are like sausages. Meanwhile, the panel examine whether a player can be caught in more than two minds and enjoy Richard Keys commandeering the Premier League's 30th birthday all for himself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by football writer, broadcaster and sociologist David Goldblatt for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among David's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are the various emotional states of the average ball boy, the enduring presence of the word "gaffer" in British football, the decline of the football radio phone-in and his intolerance of Queen’s “We Are The Champions”. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker gather for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: Every layer of the backlash to the news that the BBC Radio 5 Live have scrapped the classified results after 70 years, the difference between "cat and mouse" and a "game of chess" and when to use either in relation to a football game and David Seaman at the National Cat Awards. Meanwhile, the panel wade through the first Keys & Gray Corner of 2022-23, and it's a busy one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz returns ahead of the new season. Reigning champion James Maw aims to become the first to retain the title as he takes on challenger Michael Cox across five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including YouTube football compilations, Guess the football men from their introductory videos on Cameo, the potential Charlies of Bournemouth and, once again, Premier League shirt sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker form the Adjudication Panel once again. On the agenda this week: the mandatory elements of the Lionesses' Euro 2022 glory, some scandalous kitspeak from Fulham, new twists on the "cold night in Stoke" concept and the most footballery description of a wedding of all time. Meanwhile, the panel discuss the difference between a "pass" and a "ball", the threshold for becoming an "£Xm man" and listen in on the most atmospheric school playground kickabout ever recorded. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are reunited for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: the footballing implications of the phrase "whisper it (quietly) but...", the Big Premier League "Manager or Head Coach" Quiz for 2022-23, the slightly fictional-sounding ex-Serie A journeyman now playing in the tenth tier of English football and the definitive "breath of fresh air" team in Premier League history Meanwhile, Charlie reports from Seoul on how former Leeds and Manchester United ball of fury Alan Smith helped create an everyday Korean cliché. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller gather for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: the sad demise of the football/politics analogy, the sensational story arc of William "Worst Miss of All Time" Akio, Lisandro Martinez - the last remaining footballing "butcher", this week's Transfer That Just Sounds So Right and the most successful footballing full name of all time. Meanwhile, the panel nail down the mandatory types of Premier League pre-season friendly, from goal-filled clashes with far-flung domestic-league "All Star XIs" to "friendly they agreed to three years ago after poaching that small club's academy player for a pittance". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, James Maw and debutant Ajay Rose mark 10 years since Team GB cobbled together a men's football team for London 2012, one of the most curious one-offs in modern football history, by asking: what would that team look like today? Mark Noble or no Mark Noble? What other Olympic sport should someone called "James Ward-Prowse" be competing in? And which manager would lead this XI in 2022? Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel revive the age-old debate of whether an own goal can "nestle" and enjoy the latest commentary highlight of Euro 2022. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and James Maw form the latest Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Can Denmark's Pernille Harder be Denmark's "talis...woman"? Breaking down every element of the greatest miss in football history, the definitive list of footballing "merchants", Aidy Boothroyd's new job in India, some very economical co-commentary from Mark Bright, and what it means to "meet" a cross. Plus, there's a special report from Adam's visit to the World Cup of.....foosball. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller convene for the Adjudication Panel once again. On the agenda: Champions League football coming to the BBC, the Barry Davies World Cup 2002 commentary we all thought was lost forever, Mickey Mouse leaving Disney on a free, and players who have two "unfinished business" transfers in a row. Meanwhile, the panel decide the likely football careers of the men's last 16 at Wimbledon and enjoy David Seaman hosting a live fishing quiz on Instagram. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by Guardian Football Weekly host and former Soccer AM ace Max Rushden for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Max's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are unnecessarily violent Sunday League opponents, the nostalgic glory of the target man, banal football questions posed by official social media accounts and 5-a-side team-mates who refuse to play the ball backwards. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Nick Miller and James Maw are on this week's Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: another blow for those who still call it "the Premiership", whether Gabriel Jesus to Arsenal counts as a "transfer coup", Marseille and Real Betis going head-to-head in...Chesterfield and the podcast's most disturbing montage yet. Meanwhile, the panel recall some iconic but long-lost commentary lines and take a deep dive into the complex history of "a [rainy/cold/windy] [Tuesday/Wednesday] night in Stoke." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices