Elis James and John Robins

A huge moment for both Swifties and Red Breasts alike, for today’s the day we hear the hit new single about “What if Taylor Swift broke up with a Bristolian comic who specialises in emotional heft.”

The crowds are in and the red carpet is out, as despite Elis and John seemingly confusing a first play with a film premiere, this is an occasion. Elsewhere a listener sends in another wonderful Made Up Games jingle BUT it must pass the discerning ear of Johnny JR.

If you want to check out our songwriter, and her shows / work, it’s the very funny and talented Charlene Kaye. Just give her a Google.

To get in touch with the show then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp 07974 293 022 are the places to go.

All sorts of achievements flying around on the show. Some aural and others gastronomic as the boys reflect on a great night at the big radio awards as well as John's food consumption.

We check in on how the Swift x Robins masterpiece is coming together and also answer the question, "Should you clap 180 nominees?" A Q that all of the high fliers in various industries will be asking.

If you want to slip us a note then it's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or save the show WhatsApp number (07974 293 022) in your contacts and message in whenever.

‘Smorgasbord’ is a word frequently deployed to describe the Elis and John podcast. A buffet-style meal of Swedish origin which is typically celebratory with guests also to help themselves from a range of dishes laid out for their choice.

And though there’s not a Swede in sight, there is a veritable buffet of delectable content on today’s show to pick through on the table.

A chilled open sandwich of teenage Shame here, an anecdote delicacy to cut through the weight there. Pass the hors d’oeuvres bums across the table and a helping of inventive songwriting suggestions to top that.

Do you want to get in touch with the show? Is *all* correspondence read? The answer to both of those Qs is ‘yes’. So send it all to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or on Whatsapp 07974 293 022. (Save the number in your contacts and message the show whenever wherever).

Knees are shaking and pulses are racing as none other than international superstar model David Gandy stops by for a chat to answer all of Elis and John’s questions about modelling. Confronted with such handsomeness, how does everyone cope? Well, Elis ‘feels things’, John swears, and Dave’s glasses steam up.

An unwell and remote John goes fully digital, a listener wins a marathon, and Elis’s commentating skills shine once again.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

The boys are beset by worries this week: John is in a tizz over whether his faulty car will be covered its warranty, and Elis is suspicious that the neighbours are talking about him and his newly-scratched car behind his back. Thankfully these worries are soothed by scorching anecdotes about trying to smoke a cigar, and getting sacked from a mid-afternoon quiz show for looking too sad.

Producer Dave’s willpower meets its match in a packet of chocolate biscuits, English accents are hidden from Scottish schoolchildren, and another Dave extols the virtues of living abroad.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Today’s episode tackles the Big Questions, but only if by Big Questions you mean specifically: what spotted insect is causing John to yelp in bed? Would Elis or John have thrived on a 19th century whaling vessel? And how would John’s life change if he started going out with one of the most famous women in the world?

As usual, motorways feature, Elis gets lampooned for missing out on seeing one of John’s musical heroes live, and we all learn a valuable lesson: when a podcast matters, John matters.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

If you thought this show was your safe space away from pop behemoth Taylor Swift’s single handed takeover of popular culture then sadly you’d be wrong. For it’s Swiftmas Day (well if you view this in a linear fashion rather than circular) and John’s neck deep in it.

Also the reverberations of Elis stepping on John’s turf continue to ripple through gains space and time, whilst the question of pâté comes under the spotlight.

If you’ve got any crucial information that simply must see the light of day then to get in touch it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

What do the blue touch paper and the switchboards have in common? They’ve both been lit, that’s what. Elis and John have been inundated with some of our greatest set of emails EVER! And in that the models flow in like it's fashion week; from snacks to footwear, from 1940s yearning women to teenage graffitiing delinquents. This episode has them all.

Elsewhere, things get racy, Elis’s newfound gym buff status comes under heavy fire, and John is rocked to his very core by some news at Junction 16 on the M4.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Once the Welsh football media spring dries up Elis needs a retirement plan. Thanks to his dashing good looks there is only one viable alternative: international modelling. The boys thus get the lowdown on all things posing from the most handsome man they've ever chatted to.

We also play a Made Up Game where Elis is restricted to levels previously unexperienced and we've got two of the masters of tasks in the studio today.

If you want to get in touch with the show then here's how: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

If this show doesn’t become the go-to running podcast of 2024, we’re not sure what will. For all the on-foot 'experts' pumping out mid-level content NONE of them will cover big bones, being overtaken by your mum or exercising your big toes.

But fear not, it’s not all the 'Pounding the P-odcast'. Elis takes to the metaphorical Mastermind chair in a grilling that he was born to do and the boys finally speak to a mythical figure.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Tuesdays used to mean the odd Champions League fixture and Holby City. Now they mean podcasts. More specifically this one, and on today's show a giddiness has descended on the studio. The boys are dreaming of things they could do and places they could go for the show: Barbados, a trip to Europe's largest folk museum, or "wearing unitards and beating each other up" are all equally exciting and viable options.

Elsewhere there's a sexy Shame and we may even get a sequel to "It Floats Ladies".

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Take a tired Elis James, add an ill John Robins, and weirdly, you get a blummin' great show. Expect S of the P stuff, along with all the usual features including Shame Well, a belting Made Up Game and a fascinating Unsung Hero. Enjoy! #content.

Hilarious, warm and unashamedly ashamed, their award-winning chemistry will get you over the finish line of the working week.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

This week Elis basks in the glory of Wales's Euro success, John sails close to the general election wind, and we welcome a Glastonbury-related Unsung Hero onto the show. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Welcome to the 25th instalment of EJ&JR on BBCR5L! Where does the time go? This week, we play a Made Up Game that has its own jingle, a Queen-based game goes wrong, and Producer Dave has some big news.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Separated by 200 miles, but united through great chat, Elis and John deliver another belter of show from London and Salford respectively.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Elis and John come from East London for BBC Music Introducing Live today. It was S of your P stuff at times (will make sense if you listen), but with performances from Cass McCombs and ZUZU, lots of fun was had. Enjoy!

Available now on BBC Sounds, a brand new podcast with Elis and John called How Do You Cope? Episode 1 is with former doctor turned stand-up Adam Kay about the stress and how he coped as a junior doctor in the NHS. Search for “How Do You Cope?” on BBC Sounds, or visit bbc.co.uk/cope for more information on the series.

Elis and John return for another week of fun, where they speak to the woman who photographed a lot of the Gallagher brother fights, John tells us about his latest trip to the doctors and Elis talks about a white lie he told which involves David Bowie. Enjoy!

Elis and John return for another week of fun, where they talk to the inventor of Bluetooth, John discusses his Hunted fantasy, and the perils of brushing your teeth on the toilet. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

If you've always wanted to hear friend-of-the-show Josh Widdicombe discuss the existence of a lesser-spotted food item in Pret's airport outlets, then this is the podcast episode you've been waiting for. There's also the usual fun with Made Up Games, Shame Well and The Weirdness Amnesty. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

The boys are back with another incredible Weirdness Amnesty, a Van Morrison love in with Kermode and Mayo, and a lot of disdain for sat navs. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

A busy show today, as Elis geeks out with footy kit designer Rob, Dave's mum gets it wrong in church, and there's scandal during this week's Made Up Game.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Due to other 5 Live factors (the Rugby World Cup), we bring you just 50% of the usual two hour show this week, but fear not! We've really tried our best to cram in just as much top notch #content as usual. Enjoy.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

The boys are back in London this week, and come armed with not one, but two new features! Plus Simon Mayo proves that he's just as weird as the rest of us. #16 is dedicated to Producer Dave's sister, Vicki Thomas. Enjoy.

John and Elis come live from Bristol, with guests including ex-footballer Danny Gabbidon and golfer Bronte Law. Plus we’re treated to a slew of Bristol-based facts from John that vary in quality. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Elis James and John Robins return to the comfy London studio after 4 weeks in the BBC Compound at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This week we had another dehumidifier/air con unit revelation and we have a horrific Shame Well concerning a web cam.

It’s the fourth and final week at the Edinburgh Festival for Elis James and John Robins, and they’re going out with a guest-filled bang! Lou Sanders, Ivo Graham and Sunil Patel create an anarchic 'last day at school' vibe, whilst the boys also ask 'When did you get it wrong with your hero'. It’s a busy one, so please do listen responsibly.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk

It’s show three of four for Elis and John live from the Edinburgh Festival, and this week - along with guests Ed Gamble and David O’Doherty - there was a cringeworthy Scottish Shame Well, an unexpected victory in Made Up Games, and a lot of talk about odd things you find in a new home. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Elis James and John Robins come to you live from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and are joined by brilliant comedians Sarah Kendall and Suzi Ruffell.

For the first time ever we have the Elis O’Clock News and we delve into the deep depths of John’s Shame Well. Enjoy!

Elis James and John Robins come to you live from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and are joined by mates Matt Forde and Al Murray.

Away from the wonderful guests, John reveals his encyclopaedic knowledge of Chris de Burgh, the team rue their curry choices from the night before, and we all enjoy a Made Up Game all about balls. Enjoy!

Elis James and John Robins return to the airwaves after three weeks away (bonus podcasts are available), with this week's edition including John's cricket fantasy, more frantic wheel-spinning and - due to the unique way the BBC is funded - a lot of vague Edinburgh chat.

Elis James and John Robins bring you yet another bonus podcast, from your friend and mine, the pub!

Today's hard-hitting topics include the art of safe cycling, crisps, and a special pub-based Made-Up Game called 'Play Your Casks Right'.

Enjoy!

Another offering of extra fun, as Elis James and John Robins bring you another bonus podcast. This week, in a reversal of last week's episode, Elis pops round to John's house. Expect the usual listener questions, a look around 'Grief Mansions', and John's Show and Tell.

In a change to usual proceedings, this week's bonus Elis James and John Robins Podcast comes from Elis's dining room! So, if you want to know what his partner Isy got him for his 30th birthday, how he arranges his books, and what kind of mood John was in when he arrived, listen on.

Join Elis James and John Robins for more nonsensical fun, including Skoda Fabia pronunciation, confusing parking spaces and John's dream day at the cricket. Enjoy!

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Elis James and John Robins bring the laughs to 5 Live once more including John's crush on James Anderson, an incredibly unfortunate Shame Well, and possibly too much motorway chat.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

Another action-packed show from Elis James and John Robins, with this week's hot topics including wedding commutes, fragrant comedians, and the fact that Elis has never heard of the M2 motorway. Enjoy!

elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

It's show two for new boys Elis James and John Robins, and with them they bring news of unfortunate injuries, Producer Dave's diary entries, and a Grime MC called Yizzy. A mixed bag to say the least, but all top quality #content.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn

It’s show one for Elis James and John Robins, and it didn’t disappoint. From rodent advice to topless presenters, Fridays on 5 Live now have a very different sound.

Ahead of their brand new show on BBC Radio 5 Live, get to know Elis James and John Robins a little better with this introductory podcast teaser.

A new John Robins has emerged. Move over Brains and Colin Firth in 'A Single Man' for there's a new doyenne of eyewear fashion. And with such style and grace he's also become a fount of knowledge on how best to wear one's specs. And Robins isn't the only podcast host dipping his toes into the haute couture world, as Elis is spotted modelling in the city of lights, Paris.

The boys muse on names that could work as service stations, and there’s a humdinger of a listener anecdote from one of the North West's premier late-2000s leisure centres.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

The lovely Lou Sanders is in the studio and brings along her wonderfully chaotic aura.

Oh and it's dead bus-eh. There's another hands on Made Up Game, Lou's not getting any traction on her socials and a caller deals out not just one but TWO harrowing stories.

If you want to get in touch with the show about anything whatsoever then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

It’s a two hander today as John and Dave fly solo. But that isn’t to say that we’re not bursting at the seams with top stuff.

There’s more cloud developments, John reflects on sobriety nearly a year on from his How Do You Cope chat with Elis, and the brief to wish 5 Live a Happy Birthday is broadly fulfilled.

It’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022 for all your bits.

5 Live is 30 Years Old. A milestone indeed but it makes the station even more criminally young than our presenters. So Elis and John celebrate by looking back at the history of the UK's favourite (and potentially only) dedicated news and sport station.

We also chat to an adamantly Dave-shunning David, and John, much to everyone's shock, pokes holes in a Made Up Game... which was created by an 11-year-old.

If you want to get in touch with the show about anything whatsoever then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

John Robins is an analogue guy. There's no one on earth whose life is more dictated by paper than he. So today John digs into his worst nightmare: 'the cloud'.

The boys also hear from a listener who had a podcast-adjacent brush with death and there's more sausage while you wait chat.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Never has the mood at Elis and John HQ been more nervous or excitable. For it is a momentous day. The Hoff himself, coffee expert and YouTuber James Hoffman, is on the show. And the boys have as many questions as there are beans in the world.

And more importantly we'll find out, under Espresso making levels of pressure, who definitively makes the best coffee as judged by the coffee king him sen.

If you want to get in touch with the show then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

Have you ever wondered how our hosts would fare as children’s podcast presenters? Well thanks to today’s fun and games, now we know! And it’s as fascinating as you’d imagine.

Elsewhere, Producer Dave tries to single-handedly bring down the state secondary school education system, and in what is surely a digital first, the team discuss which celebrities look the cleanest.

We’re a month into the Great Reset and Elis and John are so into the swing of things that they’re practically Tarzan and Jane swinging through the Digital Jungle. John is Tarzan due to his ripped physique and long arms suitable for vine grabbing. Elis is Jane due to his dainty disposition and ability to flutter his eyelashes.

And the boys’ suitably good form provides a backdrop to a (quite literally) dream game, a wild inductee to the 80 Daves pantheon and the thoughts of being lowered six feet under to daytime TV themes.

Today Elis and John are at one with nature. (No, not in a sexy way Producer Dave). They're surviving not only the rigours of a podcast-first approach but today are prepared for much more. The smoke signals are going up. The salmon ponassed. All are braced in the bivouac for a very special surprise.

Once we've left the wilderness behind, Elis gets a right rollocking over his distaste of a high camp staple, we get an incredible insight into the diet of a mid-tier Crossfitter and we bid adieu to a key crew member of the good ship Elis and John.

Elis James and John Robins are two of the UK's youngest and most talented broadcasters, and over the years they've had many of their skills put to the test, including and not limited to: what to do in the event of breaking news, how to react if a fellow presenter drops an accidental double entendre on-air, and who to turn to if you read out a comical fake name for the whole country to hear. But there's one vitally important skill that has yet to be tested... That is, until this very podcast. What you are about to hear is Elis and John being pushed to the limits in one of the most difficult tasks known to man, and it formed the basis of a Made Up Game. Make sure to fasten you audio seatbelts!

Elsewhere, the guys moan about coats that don't have hanging loops, John shares an anecdote about saving an item from recycling, Elis talks about what it's like to not be recognised on the red carpet, and a listener sends in one of the greatest jingles of all time.

To get in touch, send an email to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

According to the Full Moon Calendar, we're still three weeks away from the next biggest moony of them all: the moon. However, that didn't stop Elis and John from getting teary eyed at the glories of mooning past and the relative dearth of mooning present. It was an intensely valuable chat charting modern British social history, and one you certainly won't want to miss.

Elsewhere, the boys also hear of Winkler on the Otley Run, there's some belting new listener jingles and the idea of 'Elis and John: The Musical' is floated.

There's an old saying in the English language: 'A watched pot never boils'. But thankfully, the same doesn't apply to other forms of technology, because a watched smart speaker DOES boil out content, to the tune of twice-weekly podcasts featuring the two of the UK's finest broadcasters, Elis James and John Robins. So grab a seat, reach for your favourite mug, and prepare for it to be filled to the brim with boiling hot chat.

In this episode John crumbles during a Made Up Game, there's an all-time great Shame Well, Producer Dave shows off his TV presenting skills (think Kerry from Succession), and we hear your Celebrity Slams.

An alien lands on Earth. As an audiophile, the first thing they do when they touch down is press play on the Elis and John podcast to get a taste of the planet's podcasting output. Instantly, they realise that Earth is the place to be, as their ear nubs are thrilled by pulse-setting topics such as Dronfield and the tip. They feel... home.

In other content the boys chat to an insider on the frontline of the Chesterfield Conundrum, John experiences a Damascene moment whilst watching telly and there's salivation at the prospect of Chiles on the decks.

Still aching after their Digital Decade celebrations, Elis and John somehow managed to find the strength to dust themselves off and begin traipsing along the long road towards their 20 year broadcasting milestone. Who knows what lies ahead for them, but you can bet that there's going to be plenty of fun along the way (as well as the distinct possibility that Elis retires on a super yacht thanks to his multi-billion pound net worth).

In this week's episode there's a Made Up Game that takes the boys back to their school days, a listener all the way from AMERICA calls in, wheelie bins are debated in Petty Parliament, and once again there's a thorough discussion about things from the past. Enjoy!

To get in touch, send an email to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

As the sun sets on a digitised decade of content for Messrs James and Robins, it was only fitting to celebrate 10 years of broadcasting badinage with a little bit of retrospective reflection.

Amongst the fun, a very special surprise guest pops by, a whole host of friendly voices pop up to pass on their best wishes, plus the show’s decade-long theme of Shame is finally put to superb use in the classroom.

Thanks for listening. Here’s to 10 More Years!

Tuesday: in the past it was often looked at as one of the less-favourable days of the week. The weekend feels miles away, you're still not even half way through the working week... not ideal. However, since Elis James and John Robins started releasing two episodes a week Tuesdays have gone through something of a rebrand. Tuesdays are now COOL! They're a day to look forward to. If anything, you could say that Tuesday is the new Friday (in that it's a day when a new episode of the podcast is released). Basically, what we're trying to say is that Tuesdays are great because you get to enjoy another dose of Elis, John and Producer Dave.

In this episode we hear one of the all-time great Shame Well stories that's been added into the hall of fame, John shares an injury he picked up whilst racing against someone in fancy dress, Elis imagines what it would be like to score a goal for Swansea City, and everyone gets a bit jealous of this week's guest in "Around The World in 80 Daves".

To get in touch, send an email to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

The content machine is now well and truly oiled up and ploughing ahead at lightning speed, as Elis James and John Robins release their SECOND podcast of the week! If the prospect of two podcasts a week is daunting to you fear not: the beauty of podcasts means you're able to listen whenever you like; be that on a train, in a car, or in a sauna with a bunch of your best pals. "Someone pass me a cold towel, this banter is steaming hot!" one might shout (in a sauna, not on a train).

In what some are called a more "relaxed" episode, this time round the guys discussed more things that you think are "cool", a listener from Switzerland gets in touch, and the question is raised about whether Chesterfield is in the north or south of the UK.

To get in touch, email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk

Tuesday 6th February 2024: a day that will go down in history as the day that broadcasting changed forever. Was it because we saw the launch of a brand new digital radio station that solely broadcasts the sound of the M6 motorway? Not yet; but give it time. No, the date in question is so significant because it saw the UK’s youngest radio presenters being transformed into the UK’s youngest podcasters. That’s right: the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast is finally here; and it's double the content, double the satisfaction (if focus groups are to be believed).

To kick off the new-look show the guys launch two BRAND NEW features, Elis shares an anecdote about ravers from Suffolk, a very special guest drops by, and Producer Dave treats us all to a celebratory poem. Boy it’s good to be back.

To get in touch, send an email to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

The launch of the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast is days away, and as the finishing touches are being added attention turns to how the boys can maximise audience growth.

Elis and John are back BIGGER AND BETTER from 6th February, with red hot content now released on Tuesday AND Friday every week; returning with groundbreaking features, scintillating chat and anecdotal gold that'll blow your BBC Sounds sock off.

You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.

To get in touch, email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk

Elis, John and Producer Dave are busy working on the relaunch of their brand new podcast, but with the launch date fast approaching they've decided to turn to one of the most celebrated creatives of their generation for advice.

Elis and John are back BIGGER AND BETTER from 6th February, with red hot content now released on Tuesday AND Friday every week; returning with groundbreaking features, scintillating chat and anecdotal gold that'll blow your BBC Sounds sock off.

You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.

To get in touch, email to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

Preparations for the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast are well under way, and the guys are now turning their attention to one of the most important aspects of the show: #content.

Elis and John are back BIGGER AND BETTER from 6th February, with red hot content now released on Tuesday AND Friday every week; returning with groundbreaking features, scintillating chat and anecdotal gold that'll blow your BBC Sounds sock off.

You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.

To get in touch, email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

With the launch of their brand new podcast fast approaching, Elis, John and Producer Dave have decided to meet up at the BBC to begin planning. There's plenty to discuss, but things are already off to a shaky start.

Elis and John are back BIGGER AND BETTER from 6th February, with red hot content now released on Tuesday AND Friday every week; returning with groundbreaking features, scintillating chat and anecdotal gold that'll blow your BBC Sounds sock off.

You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.

To get in touch, email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk

Bob Marley once sang "In this bright future you can't forget your past", and it's those very words that have once again inspired Elis James and John Robins to look back at another 12 months of world class #content. Whether it be sexy tax calendars, riffs about the weather, or discussing Producer Dave's vasectomy, there's been something for everyone this year, and this is your chance to join us for our end of year celebration.

2024 might see the guys waving goodbye to their live radio show, but it's good news for you the listener, as you'll soon be getting DOUBLE Elis and John.

Christmas is just around the corner, and whilst many people up and down the country are winding down for the festive period here on the Elis James and John Robins show we’re turbocharging our ideas machine as we continue our march towards the ultimate destination: BBC Sounds. Does what you’ve just read make sense? Not necessarily, but all you need to understand is that after a short break in January Elis and John will be back bigger and better than ever. Before then, however, we just have the small task of getting YOU ready for a fully festive weekend (it’s the Producer Dave dream).

This week’s show was nothing short of extraordinary. Not only did we hear the last ever episode of DI Robbyns, we also had a live performance of the greatest theme tune of all time, a rundown of all the stats behind the Made Up Games played since May 2019, and a DJ LEGEND joined us for a Petty Parliament.

Have a wonderful Christmas, and we’ll see you very soon.

Elis, John and Producer Dave embodied the very definition of 'the voice of the UK' for today's show, as they once again broadcast from locations that were literally hundreds of miles apart. How was that possible? Well, thanks to a little piece of magic we in the biz like to call "technology". As always, the guys didn't let distance get in the way of a good time, and if anything being a safe distance from each other merely added to the giddiness; making Producer Dave turn grey on no less than five occasions.

John debates whether he should be tipping his refuse collectors, Elis discusses his undercarriage cleaning technique, Producer Dave attempts to explain exactly what's happening to the show in 2024, and a surprise phone call casts the future of one of our favourite features into doubt.

With the end of the year fast approaching the hot topic on everyone's lips is forgiveness. Whether it be the person that accidentally spilled a can of lager all over your laptop, or the football player that scored the goal that relegated your favourite team, it's time for those feelings of negativity from the past year to be let go. However, some beefs stretch back further than 12 months... some even more than 12 years. Yes, on this week's show John Robins sought to end a two decade-long beef that he's had against one-time Queen-disliker Neil Hannon, lead singer of The Divine Comedy. Would Elis and Producer Dave be able to keep the studio calm enough for a civil discussion to take place? Well, why not jump into today's podcast to find out.

As well as all the usual fun, Tony Livesey revealed a missed career opportunity, there's a Made Up Game that the guys performed surprisingly well in, John told us about his fun New Years Eve plans and Elis decided to share his much-anticipated review of John's recent stand up show.

Back in May 2019 who would have thought that Elis James and John Robins, battered and bruised by a barrage of texts and tweets bemoaning their recent appointment at 5 Live, would eventually go on to reach episode 300 of their show, all whilst capturing the hearts and minds of radio listeners up and down the country? The correct answer is that nobody thought it would have been possible, and if you’d have seen the text console on that day you’d be forgiven for thinking they wouldn’t last three shows, let alone 300. Yet here they stand today, hand in hand, triumphantly towering over the UK radio landscape they have so valiantly conquered and made their own. BBC Radio Elis and John? Yeah, that’s probably not too far off either.

As today was such a big occasion, we thought it only right to celebrate appropriately. John yawned on air three times, Elis complained about having a headache, Producer Dave shared a Made Up Game involving the weight of dishwasher tablets, and a huge announcement got potentially hampered due to some top quality riffing.

Due to factors there was no live show today, but that doesn’t mean we were ever going to leave you high and dry without your weekly dose of content. No, we’ve proven time and time again that nothing can stop us from #creating #content, so strap yourself in for a fast and loose podcast-only version of the Elis James and John Robins show, with special guest presenter (and birthday girl) Lou Sanders!

It was an action packed outing today, with plenty of fun for everyone. There’s another edition of John’s Motorway Musings, Lou shares a BRAND NEW jingle that she’s created, Producer Dave describes his favourite type of music and an age-old question about escalators is answered.

John Robins - the most dedicated comedian in the UK - is continuing his mammoth UK tour, which means that he wasn’t able to make it into the studio for this week’s show. Thankfully for you the you the listener, that meant it was a rollover week. The top prize on offer? That’s right, Ivo Graham! So grab your tickets, check your numbers, and get ready to be made a #content millionaire.

It was a show jam packed with everything you’d ever want from two hours of broadcasting. There was a Made Up Game that tested the guys’ creativity (and Tony Livesey’s patience), Elis gave some potentially inaccurate advice about the process of ripening fruit, Ivo taught us about what’s coming up in the big-hitting locations of Coventry and Liverpool, and Producer Dave got his heart broken during a scripted intro.

Like the very concept of time itself John’s tour continues to march forward at pace, as he aims to visit every stand-up comedy venue in the country. That meant that Elis and Producer Dave were one man short in the studio, but thankfully the big wigs at 5 Live had a more than capable replacement waiting in the wings. Step forward everyone’s favourite son of Swindon... Ivo Graham!

Today’s show was packed to the rafters with classic content. Ivo debuted a brand new feature, we heard another edition of John’s Motorway Musings, Producer Dave - one again - was getting ready for the weekend, and Elis got confused by a Made Up Game that eventually went on to become an 8/10 classic. Enjoy!

CAT FEVER struck the studio today; quite literally, as it turns out that Elis James is allergic to the two little kittens that he's welcomed into his life. John's envy was palpable, but does that mean he's going to be introducing some feline friends into his homestead? That's yet to be decided, but given how excited he was about Elis's cat news we wouldn't be surprised if two more cats joined Yaya, Kolo, Cleo and Uncle Todd in the 5 Live cat gang very soon.

Elsewhere on the show, John helps out some of our younger listeners in Ask John, Elis discusses entering the 44th year of his life, Producer Dave learns about a radio comedy-drama that's based on his life, and there's a Made Up Game that can only be described as "clunky yet fun".

It’s been some year for Elis James, and nobody deserves a break more than him (though John might argue the case against that claim). Yes, this week he decided to treat his family to a well-deserved getaway on the continent… the only problem being that he forgot to make anyone involved with the show aware of this until about five days ago. Thankfully, it takes a lot more than a presenter going AWOL to make us lose our heads, and within mere hours we had a special guest lined up capable of filling anyone's shoes. That’s right, joining us for the show this week was friend of the show and comedian extraordinaire Ania Magliano!

John - similar to a comedy version of The Rolling Stones - just doesn't want to stop touring, meaning that for the second week on the bounce he wasn't around for the show. So, with an empty seat next to Elis we needed someone who'd be able to carry the show with a sense of responsibility... a sense of hubris... dare we say a sense of fun? Well, obviously there was only one person for the job: your friend and mine, Lou Sanders! And like a defensive midfielder being brought onto the pitch during injury time she calmed everyone down, took control of the situation and saw out the game.

It was a very fun show today; Elis gives a BAFTA worthy performance in DI Robbyns, Lou shares some MASSIVE news (that's actually already out there), Producer Dave gets excited about a Ricky Hatton anecdote and a brand new produce-based radio duo is born!

And remember, listener: "Today's radio will eventually become a podcast at some point."

Listener: this is both an apology AND a warning. An apology for being naive enough to think that someone might like to share a harmless anecdote about directing footballing icon Pele to a toilet with the nation... and a warning to anyone who thinks that using a joke name is an easy and amusing way of throwing Elis James off his stride.

You just thank your lucky stars that radio hardman John Robins wasn't in the studio to deal with you, and instead the gentle giant Ivo Graham was playing the role of co-host. It's a good job he and Elis are fleet-footed broadcasters, because it would take more than a practical joke to make them flounder (perhaps something like asking them to do an Irish accent on the fly would do the trick).

Now that's out the way, today's show was a thoroughly enjoyable affair! Ivo used his huge brain to solve some listener problems in 'Ask Ivo', we heard some more listener renditions of the DI Robbyns theme tune, and dare we say we heard the most dramatic ending to a Made Up Game of all time. You won't want to miss it.

Like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Roachford before him, John continues to live the touring life; aiming to perform stand up at every location in the UK with a population of over 3000. And whilst this ambitious task is cheered on by Elis and Producer Dave, it does make broadcasting live radio slightly more difficult, so once again this week's show is a special pre-recorded affair. Double the fun, triple the content, quadruple the time to edit!

The guys celebrate a recent award win, Elis talks about his tired eyes, John performs an uncanny Tim Buckley impression, and Producer Dave oversees one of the greatest Made Up Games of all time.

Ryder Cup action is taking over BBC 5 Live, meaning there was no live show from Elis James and John Robins this week... But fear not, as we have a right treat in store for you.

You've heard 'Desert Islands Discs'... You've enjoyed the audio soundscape that is 'The Archers'... But in this special bonus podcast you're about to hear something that nobody has ever dared to attempt due to the sheer level of broadcasting prowess required to pull it off. That's right, prepare to experience one presenter doing an impression of all four members of The Beatles whilst another presenter hand grinds their own coffee beans. Enjoy!

With John embarking on a 200+ date world tour taking in Salford, Canterbury, Huddersfield, and then Salford again, the man whose modus operandi is emotionally hefty comedy requires a mental break every so often. However, not one to let the listener miss out on their weekly dose of #content he insisted on making Elis and Producer Dave join him to pre-record a show. If there's one thing he ain't, it's dedicated!

As well as all the usual fun, Elis gets vocal in his sleep and channels the 'Voice of the Balls', and John cuts through the noise on the failures of parenting.

Look up the word 'content' in the Oxford English Dictionary and it reads "n. Elis James and John Robins' show on BBC Radio 5 Live, 2-4pm 15th September 2023". For what a busy week it's been for Messrs James and Robins!

Elis both continues his quest to become Carmarthenshire's most cultured man AND finds time to grace several Baltic states, whilst John has played Norwich's smallest venue not once but twice(!).

We are also graced with a truly classic(al) theme tune, a 24 karat gold stick it on the mantelpiece Shame Well and some city-sized news from Dave.

For the first time in what’s felt like years Elis, John and Producer Dave were finally reunited in Central London this week, and just like any other family reunion a wide range of emotions were experienced during the show: excitement (from John checking on the Freddie Mercury auction), frustration (from Producer Dave, because John kept checking on the Freddie Mercury auction), and love (from Elis, amazed at John’s dedication to checking in on the Freddie Mercury auction).

Away from all the Queen chat, Robbie Knox - the brand new landlord of The Moon Under Water - stopped by to say hello before submitting a law into the Petty Parliament, a DI Robbyns cover to rival Goldie Lookin' Chain was sent in by a listener, Producer Dave shared his drumming ambitions and the BBC canteen benefitted from a massive cake order (eventually).

After a month long loan deal expired, Edinburgh returned John Robins. So Robins, free from the Scottish capital's creative buzz and extortionate rental prices returned to the studio... to broadcast to Britain and the world. But today he was not with his companion of norm.

With Elis away on a sojourn for Isy's birthday, Lou Sanders filled his boots to a supreme degree. The expert on self herself. And what a breath of fresh electric car air she brought. Meanwhile, John tabled some big stepdad energy, we interact with a spirited antipodean and, in a world first, Dave gets shouted down while reading the rules to a Made Up Game.

It’s been some month for Johnny JR. Not only did he decide to take on the mammoth task of performing over 700 stand up shows across 31 days, he also remained dedicated to representing 5 Live right from the heart of the Edinburgh Fringe. But with the finish line in sight, and his spirit slowly dwindling, there was just enough time to squeeze in one final live broadcast: and what could make him feel better than having his housemate for the festival, Rob Auton, critique John on his living standards?!

As well as being joined by one of the finest comics out there, Elis shared his love of haggis, Producer Dave struggled to imitate his own voice numerous times, and there was a Made Up Game that went right down to the wire (featuring one of the biggest bottle-jobs of all time).

Elis and John venture to both the final boss and tutorial of the comedy world. That's right... Edinburgh! To mark the occasion a live audience descended on Scotland's premier planetarium / part-time comedy venue / largest interactive visitor attraction, and a show of Knebworth level proportions ensued.

For these versatile entertainers the smell of the crowd, the taste of the laughter, and the lack of a live live broadcast brought out 20% more playfulness than when shackled away in a studio; lucky for you listening on the podcast.

Comics Ania Magliano and David O'Doherty grace us with their wit, the team make real hard work of a Made Up Game and John redefines stand-up.

With Elis taking a much deserved holiday, this week John found himself all alone in Edinburgh. But just as it looked like the faders were going to be opened without someone there to act as the ying to his yang, someone walked into the studio not just full of pep… but be-ploughmanned. Who would be so daring as to eat such a meal whilst broadcasting to the nation? Well, obviously there’s only one answer to that question: it was this week's guest co-presenter and all round legend Ivo Graham!

With John and Ivo presenting live and direct from the Scottish capital you just knew there was going to be a whole host of fun on today’s show. Janine Harouni joined the guys to chat about her Fringe experience so far and submit a law into Petty Parliament, Producer Dave tried to SILENCE the news, Ivo attempted to fill in for Elis on DI Robbyns and John realised that he might not love pickled eggs as much as he once thought.

The Edinburgh Fringe. The centre of the comedy universe. And the beaming hot star at the centre of said universe, of which every other planet orbits, is the gas giant that is John Robins. Although he’s performing two shows per day whilst up in Scotland he’s still committed to providing the nation with much needed radio. Elis and Producer Dave? Well, they’re holding the fort in London, thus showing that Radio 5 Live truly is the voice of the nation.

But it’s not just John who was in our studio north of the border. The legend that is Frank Skinner dropped by to talk about his new show, as well as enacting a law into Petty Parliament. Plus, there's a Made Up Game resembling a comedian’s fever dream, Tony Livesey reveals his bizarre showering routine, and the Brandy Lady makes another appearance.

As the old saying goes “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. But after taking a three week break from live radio in order to make way for 5 Live’s world beating sports coverage, Elis and John proved something else: “distance makes the arms grow beefier”. Yes, 21 days off the radio has given Johnny JR plenty of time to continue his journey to becoming the world's buffest man, and the guys returned to the studio ready to crush any topic put in front of them (though to be honest, given how pumped he looks John was definitely leading the charge).

There was a Made Up Game that focused on Elis’s often negative mentality to competition, John hounded his co-presenter about something he’d recently had bestowed upon him, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City takes a hit in Petty Parliament, and the single greatest piece of audio ever recorded wass sent into the show… You knows it.

With #Sport once again keeping our hosts off the airwaves of 5 Live, we find Elis, John and Producer Dave in fine fettle as things remain ‘loosey goosey’ for one final week with this bonus podcast.

Elis blows our minds with a blunder revelation that leaves everyone reeling, John comes close to admitting there may be such a thing as too much golf, and Producer Dave enters a Peter Beagrie (Man City, 94-97) reverie whilst painting his garage.

There's a real broadcasting buffet on offer today from Elis, John and Producer Dave, as they once again humbly stepped aside so the nation could continue to follow the historic Wimbledon tennis tournament uninterrupted; and given they were provided with the world's vaguest running order, who knew which direction the conversation was going to meander. Thankfully for you, listener, it wended its way right into your hearts and minds (and also your podcast feeds).

A listener sends in a banging remix of everyone's favourite theme tune, John loses his calm about the prospect of calming himself down, Elis shares his recent 'Double Blur' experience, and Producer Dave provides the guys with some more listener Qs that need an A.

ELIS AND JOHN LIVE AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE IS NOW FULLY BOOKED

BBC 5 Live is committed to providing every single type of content out there. Tennis? Check. Golf? You bet! Pétanque? Give it time. So when Elis and John were informed that they weren't going to be on air for a few weeks to make way for more classic world-beating sporting coverage it came as no surprise, and thankfully plans had already been put in place to make sure that you the you the listener weren't left short on your weekly quota of chat.

In this free-flow podcast the guys share an exciting announcement, there's more ploughman's correspondence, Dave hosts a listener-driven Q&A, and there's a discussion around the sports most suitable for radio.

Elis and John aren’t on air for a large portion of July, as 5 Live continues to fill its public service broadcasting remit by providing world-beating sports coverage. With their holidays just around the corner (don’t worry, there’ll still be weekly bonus podcasts for you all to enjoy) an air of giddy excitement descended on the studio, with Producer Dave pulling out all the stops to try and tame radio’s most unproducable duo.

There was a Made Up Game for the biscuit purists amongst you, a Petty Parliament suggestion that was met with unanimous agreement, there was ANOTHER twist in 'DI Robbyns', and the guys put poor Nick Wallis through his paces during his first ever appearance on the show (sorry Mrs Wallis).

Recently, dreams turning into reality has become quite a regular occurrence on the show. First, John became the buffest broadcaster in Britain. Then, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City won the Champions League for the first time, completing a historic treble. But today, the biggest of dreams was realised… That’s right: everyone’s favourite support cigarette - Fagsy - was brought to life, and the feeling of love in the studio was palpable.

Elsewhere, there’s a Made Up Game all about Glastonburys gone by, a Petty Parliament caller dials in with a Glastonbury practice that he wants outlawed, Elis reminisces about a time he went to Glastonbury, and John has some rather interesting thoughts on the world-beating Glastonbury coverage being provided by the BBC across the Glastonbury festival.

The ‘Hometown Triumvirate’ is a rare occurrence in the world of radio. A collector’s item, some might say. Well today, completists got their wish, with Carmarthen, Bristol and ‘the north’ being the respective locations of Elis, John and Producer Dave, as the BBC’s world-beating broadcasting infrastructure was pushed to its very limits, all in the name of cross country content.

Ethernets, modems, ISDN lines and the internet (general) all played their part as features old and new were rolled out. Episode 2 of new audio drama DI Robbyns once again left listeners on the edge of their seats, the lightboards switched up as our fleet-footed hosts juggled a plethora of text topics, plus the dulcet tones of Adrian Chiles made for an unforgettable Made Up Game.

Enjoy!

New studio, new Elis James and John Robins? Not a chance; no matter how many times one disgruntled listener might text into the show they’ll never change their loveable ways! However, change was certainly afoot content wise, as the guys launched a brand spanking new feature which ticks all of Producer Dave’s boxes (except maybe getting people ready for the weekend). Yes, you’re about to hear the very first episode of DI Robbyns - and no, this isn’t a Radio 4 podcast.

Elsewhere, John comes up with about thirty different text topics, Elis shares his love for the inimitable Mr Urdd, Producer Dave brags about a recent purchase and a listener shares their musical talents LIVE on air.

‘Excitement’ was the word on everyone’s lips at the BBC today… and for good reason. First, they were excited about the fact that the wonderful Lou Sanders was sitting in for Elis whilst he treated himself to a luxury spa break in Montenegro. Then, the excitement grew even more as John entered the studio looking more buff than ever before. And just when we thought the excitement couldn’t grow any more, Producer Dave announced he was off to relive his early 20s by going to see the Arctic Monkeys. And with that, the holy trinity of excitement was sorted, perfectly placed to surf the radio waves.

There’s a real treat in store for you today, featuring the following audible accoutrements: a listener talking about the time they were outwitted by a pigeon, John channelling his inner local radio presenter, Lou absolutely destroying her co-presenter in a scripted intro, and Producer Dave trying his best to stay balanced in a Made Up Game.

It’s a good job that the microphones in Broadcasting House are on adjustable mic stands, because for today’s show self-certified posh person Sir Elis James was presenting from atop a felt-lined throne, whilst the peasants that are John and Producer Dave were forced to sit on upturned wooden buckets, never once making eye contact with his highness. And as an offering to the people, Sir James presented a venerable feast of content… the broadest content in the land!

John shares a teary Turkish restaurant tale, the guys come up with their own range of soft toys, someone mistakes James Bond for Ed Miliband and Elis gives us an insight into his favourite darts chants.

What do you get if you cross an elite-level goalkeeper, a man carrying a chopping board in his rucksack and someone who just can’t wait to get ready for the weekend? That’s right, you get the Elis James and John Robins show on BBC 5 Live. And whilst Elis never did get a chance to show off his chopping skills, he did get a chance to slice through some freshly picked correspondence about what weird advice listeners have been given (which was much more interesting than the onion-based fun we had planned).

There was a rather controversial Made Up Game, we heard a toilet tale that stoked the embers of shame, the age-old question “How do you get a wolf to trust you?” is answered, and a listener shared their grievances with how people say “Goodbye… bye… bye… bye”.

Is there anything more scintillating than overhearing three good friends goofing around on national radio? Well according to Producer Dave there is, and it's catching the scent of a handsome man eating eggs Benedict on a quiet Friday morning. But unlike radio, you can't Shazam a fragrance, so instead Dave decided to put his Northern charm to good use and find out exactly why this man's aroma was so wonderful. It turns out the cost of smelling good is £200, so it's safe to say that Dave is sticking to his good old can of Lynx.

Away from all the 'smelltalk', ahead of a big goalkeeping performance John was given some tips from a former professional shot-stopper, there was some real snackable content in a Made Up Game, we heard the story of an old tin of meat, and Elis provided us with one of the greatest anecdotes of all time.

Oh, and for the triangulation fans amongst you, the the centre point for today's broadcast was just west of Stratford on the A46. Strap in!

With the coronation of King Charles III just hours away, Elis and John were giddy with excitement in a balanced and compliant way, with streets parties, Union Jack body paint and temporary Royal tattoos all extolled when discussing weekend plans.

And yet even with the chaps’ eager anticipation reaching fever pitch, it’s incredible to think they were still able to compose themselves for a top tier parliamentary Made Up Game, a fascinating ‘this is your life’ chat with fellow 5 Liver Tony Livesey, and an incredibly detailed discussion about aftershave.

‘Informative… punctual… fun’. These are all words you’d associate with a consummate broadcaster. But ‘bravery’? No, that’s an adjective that’s reserved for one broadcaster and one broadcaster only. That’s right: John Robins. He doesn’t just say what he thinks people want to hear, he says what he thinks others need to hear; and nobody (especially Producer Dave) can stop him. So if you want your weekly fix of bravery, you’re in the right place.

John is handed the baton of improvisation, we hear some wonderful retirement dreams, Elis questions some of the refereeing decisions during a Made Up Game, and there is a Shame Well that royally cracks up the studio.

Elis has returned from Dave's favourite continent sunkissed and with renewed vigour. As he saw the On Air light blink red there was a determination is his voice that he was going to carry John on this show no matter how much muscle the man from Buffinghamshire has put on.

Thankfully, there was no need for such strenuous exertion as John arrived in peak comedic fitness. He dug into Elis's bold breakfast choices at the hotel buffet and in a radio first listed every single mug that you can find in his cupboard. That's 16, to be precise.

Also expect an assonance-heavy Made Up Game and a caller who got the boys purring.