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In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics.
Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more.
Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise.
Copyright JLML Press (2024) All Rights Reserved
- 364 - Parenting Expectations Have Changed - Kids Haven't (with Maggie Dent)
If you're the parent of young children, there's a good chance you are very hard on yourself. Australian parenting guru Maggie Dent joins Janet in this episode of “Unruffled” to discuss the unprecedented pressures and challenges today's parents face living up to ever-changing standards set by social media, peers, and even schools. Parents are often left feeling overwhelmed and unsupported. Maggie and Janet share their long view perspectives, experiences, advice, and hope. Maggie shares her extensive resources at: MaggieDent.com. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 30 Apr 2024 - 47min - 363 - My Child Refuses Independent Play
With our most loving intentions as parents, we might find ourselves stuck in a full-time role we never wanted—as our child's playmate and entertainer. In this episode, a mom asks Janet for advice regarding her "bright, busy, extroverted four-year-old girl who loves having my complete attention.” Unfortunately, this parent is feeling she really needs some time to herself, but when she tries to take a break, her daughter is unwilling to let her go and seems anxious and insecure, as if this is a personal rejection. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 23 Apr 2024 - 36min - 362 - As Our Kids Get Older - 5 Ways to Continue Building Lasting Emotional Bonds
What does respectful parenting look like as our kids get older? Where can we get advice similar to Janet's but for older kids? Janet receives these kinds of questions often and takes the opportunity to answer them in this episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 16 Apr 2024 - 34min - 361 - The Magic That Makes Kids Want to Cooperate
As parents, we all experience moments when our kids just won’t go with the program – brushing their teeth, dressing for school, cleaning up their toys, going to bed (and staying there). We ask nicely, and they ignore us. Then we ask not so nicely, and they dig their heals in. Before long we’re frustration turns to exasperation, and we either get angry or throw up our hands in surrender. At a certain age, our kids are developmentally programmed to resist us no matter how much kindness and respect we show them. So, what’s a parent to do? Sometimes we wish we could just wave a magic wand. Well, the wands are on back-order, but Janet shares some magical recommendations that will make these interaction so much easier to navigate, win or lose. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 09 Apr 2024 - 28min - 360 - Losing It - Understanding What Makes Us Snap (Encore with Elisabeth Corey)
Janet is joined by trauma recovery expert Elisabeth Corey to answer a parent’s email about her struggles to become a respectful parent. This mom says certain behaviors of her 2.5-year old daughter set her off. “I don’t stay calm, focused, kind to my child.” And she believes her own upbringing (“in no way respectful”) is the root cause of her reactions. She is overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising her child and wants to know: “What can I do to help myself?” Janet and Elisabeth consider the common underlying issues of our own childhoods and how we can recognize and heal negative cycles to become better parents. Elisabeth's work and free resources for parents are available on her site at: www.BeatingTrauma.com For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Please visit our sponsors! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 02 Apr 2024 - 27min - 359 - Dr. Gabor Maté on Why Parents Matter More Than Ever
Physician and author Gabor Maté joins Janet to discuss the importance of developing secure attachments with our kids and why it's crucial for us to continue nurturing these bonds into their adulthood. How do we remain our children's most trusted influences while also encouraging their natural drive toward individuation? Can we maintain our role as a primary attachment figure when our child is cared for by others? How do we help kids to develop healthy relationships with peers? What's the best way to handle exposure to digital media? Gabor addresses these questions among many others and offers suggestions for maintaining positive attachments throughout our kids’ lives. Gabor is the author of 5 books and most recently the re-issued Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, co-authored with Gordon Neufeld, with a new chapter about how the Covid pandemic affected kids' relationships with peers and parents. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 26 Mar 2024 - 47min - 358 - When Kids Hide Their Feelings and Reject Our Comfort
We're trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even angry, and yells at the parent to go away. The parent asks, "Do you have any advice for helping her to be more comfortable with feeling sad or angry?" Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 19 Mar 2024 - 29min - 357 - Praise That Encourages Intrinsic Motivation
We can be our kids' greatest fans, and they need us to be. How do we praise them in a manner that truly encourages them? We may have heard that "good job!" or "you're so smart!" aren't the ticket. In this episode, Janet shares her specific suggestions and a simple way we can find clarity on what can be a confusing topic. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 12 Mar 2024 - 27min - 356 - Should We Resort to Using Force?
Janet consults with a couple who feel at odds with their 4-year-old at bedtime. "She stalls, refuses or delays putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, getting in bed, and staying in bed." She's also uncooperative in the mornings. The parents have conflicting ideas about how they should handle her behavior and hope Janet can offer some guidance. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 05 Mar 2024 - 46min - 355 - Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Other Intense Outbursts: My #1 Secret for Staying Calm
How do we stay unruffled when our children are anything but? It's never easy, but in this episode Janet shares the personal mindset that has helped her most, and gets SO much easier with practice. She also shares a success story from a parent who is walking through her own fears to be the parent her daughter needs. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 27 Feb 2024 - 25min - 354 - We Don't Like Upsetting Our Kids
Do you sometimes say "yes" to avoid your child's negative reaction? You're definitely not alone! None of us wants to upset our kids, and when faced with that option, we tend to second guess our boundaries: Should I keep playing this game even though I’m busy, tired, or not in the mood? This week, Janet explores the reasons we doubt ourselves, particularly when it comes to personal boundaries, how to overcome our hesitancy, and why our kids really need us to. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 20 Feb 2024 - 20min - 353 - Toddlers That Won't Go to Bed (Solutions from Eileen Henry)
Eileen Henry is a pioneering sleep consultant who for decades has helped exhausted, concerned parents guide their infants and toddlers to more restorative sleep. As Janet's guest this week, Eileen shares her wisdom and detailed suggestions in response to emails from Unruffled listeners struggling mightily with their toddlers at bedtime. A one-year-old seems to get increasingly wound up as bedtime nears, escalating to biting her mother. A 23-month-old refuses to nap. An almost 3-year-old won't separate from her parent at any time of day, calls "mommy, mommy" whenever her parent leaves her side, making bedtime impossible. Eileen offers her experienced perspective, warm support, and actionable advice. “Sleep is not a problem to be fixed,” she believes. “It is a skill to be learned.” More about Eileen and her resources at: CompassionateSleepSolutions.com, or visit her on Facebook at: Facebook.com/compassionatesleepsolutions Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 13 Feb 2024 - 44min - 352 - Raising Mentally Healthy Kids Means Letting Them Grieve
Most of us wouldn't consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In this episode, Janet shares how we can encourage our children to experience and express loss in the healthiest manner from the very beginning, starting with the first type of loss our babies experience: momentary separation from a loved one. Our response can provide them the messages and experience they need to learn to deal with loss capably and, most important of all, know loss is survivable. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame" and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 06 Feb 2024 - 30min - 351 - Coping with Your Child's Possessiveness
"Mine! No, he can't touch that!" Does this sound familiar? No worries. In their early years, children commonly go through phases of possessiveness that can seem totally unreasonable and extreme. They may want everything their sibling or peer shows interest in and try to take it. They refuse to share. In this episode, Janet explains why this behavior actually makes sense and what we can do to help kids pass through these phases readily and in a healthy manner. She illustrates by addressing a question from a parent about his 5-year old’s incessant impulse to protect his territory and possessions from his baby brother. While he and his wife try to maintain an understanding, respectful approach to the behavior by acknowledging his feelings and his space, they're perplexed by their son's demands which seem unreasonable and often nonsensical. Worse, he can act aggressively toward his sibling, which is alarming. Janet offers specific advice and verbal examples for handling “mine” and other controlling behavior between siblings and peers. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 30 Jan 2024 - 24min - 350 - How an Angry Mom, Hating Parenting, Found "Immediate Success"
A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.” After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. Tantrums, fighting, screaming, hitting, throwing, and all the typical toddler behavior. Gradually, she found herself yelling, threatening, using time-outs, and even spanking. She says she felt terrible and hated her life. As a veteran with 4 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, she says ironically, “That life was easy. Being a mom is hard.” Recently, however, she remembered “Unruffled” and the experience she had with her firstborn. She started devouring episodes and says that it all started coming back to her. Her letter describes how she adopted a new perspective and applied Janet’s methods and advice immediately—with miraculous results. “It has been an amazing shift in the household ever since I have adopted this approach… so many more hugs and them telling me they love me.” Janet uses this parent’s hopeful letter to illustrate how small alterations to our interactions, and especially our perspective, can transform our relationship with our kids and bring the joy we deserve to the parenting experience. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 23 Jan 2024 - 26min - 349 - Every Child, Even a Tiny Baby, Deserves Time On Their Own (with Hari Grebler)
Do all human beings, even our babies, need time to themselves—freedom to make choices, initiate activities, think their own thoughts? In this episode, Janet and her special guest Hari Grebler say "yes" and explain why. Hari, a Magda Gerber protégé, was Janet's first parenting teacher. Thirty years later, Hari continues to introduce parents in her parent-infant classes to a new perspective—inspiring them to trust and become more attuned to their babies and to develop safe play spaces for them to freely explore at home. Hari and Janet discuss how this works and why it matters—not only for our children's healthy development (and even their sleep!) but for our mental health. Hari also addresses some of the common misunderstandings that can get in our way. More from and about Hari on her website HarisRIEStudio.com, and her Instagram page HarisRIEStudio. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 16 Jan 2024 - 45min - 348 - Resisting, Stalling, Dilly-Dallying
Kids can wear down our patience when they seem to resist or stall us with everything we need them to do—even when we're only asking them to move through the predictable routines in their day like getting out of bed, going to or leaving school, brushing their teeth, and so on. The constant pushback and struggle make it feel impossible to stay unruffled. In this episode, Janet shares an easy-to-remember, viable alternative to the strategies, games, scripts, threats, patient waiting, or coaxing we may have unsuccessfully tried in the past (while also explaining why those responses don't tend to be sustainable). She offers examples through two letters. One parent, who resorts to eventually picking up her toddlers when they resist, shares: "My 3-year-old is getting much heavier, stronger, and faster, so the moments of resistance are becoming more difficult to overcome without struggle, and I don't know what I will do in a year or two when he becomes even faster and stronger." Another parent asks: "Is this level of dilly-dallying normal? If so, how should we deal with that? If the gentle ways don't work, threats don't work (or even make things worse in the long run), what else can we do?" Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 09 Jan 2024 - 35min - 347 - A Secret to Helping Our Kids Achieve (Advice for the New Year)
As parents, we are prone to worry, and a common concern is that our kids don't seem motivated enough. Perhaps they aren't mastering certain skills as quickly as we think they should or could—physically, cognitively, creatively, or socially. They might seem disinterested in doing things that we feel certain they're capable of, even when we've gently encouraged them. Naturally, this confuses us. We wonder what we can do to help. In this premiere episode for 2024, Janet offers a counterintuitive suggestion for what we might be missing and how our good intentions can backfire. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 02 Jan 2024 - 23min - 346 - My Daughters Weigh In on Respectful Parenting (Encore)
In this encore episode, Janet’s daughters Charlotte and Madeline share candid memories from their childhoods and consider how Janet's respectful parenting style influenced their lives as toddlers, teens, and young adults. Using questions submitted to Janet's Facebook page as their guide, the sisters discuss intrinsic motivation, emotional health, independent play, sibling relationships, screen time and more. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 26 Dec 2023 - 30min - 345 - 7 Daily Reminders for Parents (Encore)
Inspired by a listener's request and just in time to make a new start in the New Year, Unruffled revisits Janet's list of daily reminders for helping parents face the challenges of their day with more clarity, calm, and confidence. For a deep and complete understanding of ALL these points and much, much more, check out Janet's No Bad Kids Course—an awesome gift for the holidays. Janet's bestselling books No Bad Kids and Elevating Child Care make such helpful, thoughtful stocking stuffers! Happy Holidays! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 19 Dec 2023 - 28min - 344 - Making Magical Holiday Memories
No matter how we spend our holidays, we all hope to make the most of them. In this first-ever holiday episode of Unruffled, Janet offers ideas for encouraging even our youngest children to feel a part of the festivities, and perhaps be the ones to create family traditions. Janet's suggestions include thoughts on gift giving, how to frame the story of Santa Claus without "lying," and what we can do to help our little ones manage the changes in routine and overstimulation. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 12 Dec 2023 - 17min - 343 - Angry Outbursts, Screaming, and Hurtful Words
Two discouraged, desperate families write to Janet for help with 4.5-year-olds who seem perpetually angry. These children are lashing out verbally, screaming and shouting at their parents and siblings, and seem particularly explosive at the end of the day. One parent writes that her child "seems like she is very intentionally trying to be hurtful," and adds, "It doesn't seem like she should be able to get away with treating us and her sister this way." The second family writes that when picking their daughter up from school "and the tiniest thing is not right, the screaming and shouting begins. Everything is catastrophic." Janet recommends specific adjustments these parents can make in the way they are perceiving their children's behaviors that she believes will bring relief. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 05 Dec 2023 - 44min - 342 - My Toddler Won't Separate or Warm Up to Anyone Else
While it's flattering to be a toddler's chosen one, being prized can become a drain when our child's dependency gets out of hand. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet for help with her 2.5-year-old daughter, who she says has always had separation anxiety and continues to need the mom's constant presence to feel comfortable and happy. Whenever this parent tries to separate, even when it's only to the next room, her toddler cries. "She is never soothed or comforted by other family members (even her dad) and will only accept comforting from me." Janet offers a small adjustment this parent might make in her response and explains how this can help her toddler or a child of any age, even a baby, feel more trusting and comfortable when separating and in the company of others. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 28 Nov 2023 - 25min - 341 - Stop Making Mealtime a Challenge
A parent of a 27-month-old writes that her son refuses to come to the table when called and will not sit in his chair during meals. This parent says they’ve tried just removing his food when he isn't cooperating, but then “he ends up hangry… and it’s so difficult to get anything done.” So, they’ve resorted to feeding him through distractions and by following him around with food at home, in the park, and in his Yes Space while he’s playing. Eventually, he finishes a meal. Janet offers this family a shift in perspective and mealtime guidelines that not only encourage healthy eating but eliminate stress for us and our kids. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 21 Nov 2023 - 30min - 340 - When Parents Don't See Eye to Eye (with Melina Gac Levin)
We all bring different perspectives to parenting that are borne of our upbringing, culture, or religion. Sometimes, we find these perspectives clash over basic parenting issues like sleep, healthy eating, crying, behavior, to name a few. Janet’s guest this week is Melina Gac Levin, a mother, parenting educator, and founder of Pueblo (parentpueblo.com), an educational and consulting organization that focuses on providing evidence-based advice for helping couples weave their various perspectives together. Through self-reflection, collaboration, and sometimes compromise, there's hope for all of us to find common ground. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 14 Nov 2023 - 39min - 339 - Our Strong-Willed Child Is Running the Show
A parent emails Janet with the subject line: Help! Strong Willed Child. She feels frustrated, exhausted, and completely overwhelmed by her 7-year-old's unmanageable behavior that's been continuous since he was about 3.5. She and her partner have made repeated attempts to stop his rudeness (and a host of other behaviors he knows are unacceptable), to get him to follow directions, shower, dress, and even eat. Janet encourages these parents to consider the why—why is their child acting this way? And why does his behavior cause them to react as they do? Janet explains how reflecting on those questions can bring clarity and help these parents shift the dynamic with their child in a positive direction. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 07 Nov 2023 - 34min - 338 - Consequences vs Threats vs Punishments
From Janet's inbox: A parent wonders if reminding her 3-year-old of negative consequences to his uncooperative behavior is the same as using threats or manipulation. She writes that her goal is not only to help him move through transitions with less pushback, but to learn the concept of time, how to manage it, and to feel empowered to make choices and achieve his desires. Janet offers her thoughts on the differences between threats, consequences, and punishments, and suggests minor adjustments this family can make to better enable their goals. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 31 Oct 2023 - 29min - 337 - Caring for Our Children and Ourselves in Tragic Times
Janet shares words of support. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 24 Oct 2023 - 14min - 336 - When Our Kids Are Scared
How can we help our kids overcome their fears? Most of us have the instinct to provide comfort with messages like "don't worry, you're safe, it will be alright." In this episode, Janet explains why our children often need more than our reassurance, even when their fears seem unreasonable or overblown. The key: validating and encouraging each child's intuitive process. Janet provides details by responding to notes from three families who have concerns about their children's seemingly irrational fears. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 17 Oct 2023 - 31min - 335 - Encouraging Kids To Be More Assertive
Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived from a lack of self-confidence. Janet doesn’t believe that’s necessarily true and responds to two emails from listeners who are concerned about their children’s seeming inability to assert themselves in social situations. One parent describes her son being bullied on the school bus. Another says her daughter’s friend is clingy, bossy, and controlling, and this parent doesn’t believe her child has the self-confidence to set a boundary. Janet addresses each situation and offers advice for how the parents can help in the most effective manner. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 10 Oct 2023 - 27min - 334 - How to be Strong Enough to Make the Really Big Changes
Our young kids are adaptable, so it's always possible for us to change routines, rules, and behavior patterns that we decide are no longer beneficial for us or them. Problem is, our kids are bound to object— loudly, vociferously, perhaps relentlessly—when these changes aren't their idea (which they seldom are). Our new plan may be met with whining, crying, screaming, even tantrums. And since we've played a central role in allowing our family's habits to take root, it’s natural to feel uncertain or even guilty for introducing new boundaries. As an insightful parent concerned about her children's excessive TV use writes: “Though I fully believe that changing our strategies and habits will improve our lives and relationships, taking these steps is so hard that I find myself just doing the usual thing and beating myself up about it instead of doing anything different.” Another parent writes that she feels trapped by her toddler's refusal to play without her presence, but she's afraid to make changes because she's uncomfortable with upsetting him: “I feel I’m stumbling and, in the process, feel myself losing the joy of parenting.” Janet offers ideas for helping parents find the perspective and strength they need to make changes for the better. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 03 Oct 2023 - 28min - 333 - Struggles with Independent Play
Self-directed play is a gift that keeps giving with profound benefits for every aspect of our children's development. As an added bonus, nurturing our child's ability to self-entertain affords us the occasional much-deserved break. So, cultivating independent play and establishing it as a habit is well worth the effort. Unfortunately, no matter how early we start noticing, valuing, and then encouraging our children's inner-directed play choices, there can be setbacks along the way. In this episode, Janet responds to emails from parents who describe their own setbacks. One parent shares how her 14-month-old flits from toy to toy, then suddenly announces she's "done!" and cries until the parent removes her from the play area. She's also begun demanding to be “done” with car rides and walks in the stroller. Another parent shares that her 8-month-old, who previously reveled in his play time and entertained himself for long periods, has lately become angry whenever there's a gate between them, even when she's doing chores right next to him on the other side. Janet shares insights for encouraging self-directed play and suggests ways these parents might help their kids get over their respective humps. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 26 Sep 2023 - 36min - 332 - Mean Words, Aggressive Behavior, Stalling, and Other Signs Kids Need Our Help
Janet responds to several messages from parents who feel stumped as to how to respond effectively to their children's behaviors. A 4-year-old has been lashing out at his mom and schoolmates. A kindergartner calls her brother "stupid.” Another kindergartner can't pull herself together to get to school on time without her mother doing 95% of the work. Janet offers general guidelines for responding to unsettled children and, more specifically, how her suggestions can be applied to easing the behavior issues in each of these scenarios. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 19 Sep 2023 - 36min - 331 - Meltdowns That Keep Happening, Even When We're Doing Everything Right
A parent writes that she's feeling helpless and desperate about her 3-year-old's frequent, intense meltdowns, which sometimes last up to an hour. This mom says they usually "relate to control and power struggles where he tells me or my husband to do something." And although she remains calm, responds with empathetic words, assures him that it's okay to be mad, offers hugs, and tries to acknowledge his feelings, nothing seems to help. Often her responses seem to make him angrier. Understandably, she eventually loses her patience. "I will likely end up screaming at him because I literally can’t handle his screaming at me any longer, and then I feel the weight of the guilt for yelling at him..." Janet offers a slight shift in the parents' perspective and subtle adjustments they can make to their approach that she believes will help their spirited son move through his emotional flare-ups more easily. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 12 Sep 2023 - 25min - 330 - Raising Motivated, Self-Confident, Less Stressed Kids in an Age of Anxiety (with Dr. William Stixrud)
Janet’s guest is Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. Bill Stixrud's decades of experience counseling children and their parents have led to conclusions that complement and support Janet's own parenting philosophy, especially topics such as encouraging self-confidence, intrinsic motivation, and inner-directedness. And since many of Bill's clients have been with him from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, he has the benefit of seeing the results of his practice. Bill and Janet discuss the value of giving our kids opportunities to make choices, discover and pursue their passions, and the challenges and benefits of being a nonanxious presence (because our "calm is contagious"). Dr. Stixrud is the founder of The Stixrud Group, a member of the teaching faculty at Children’s National Medical Center, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 05 Sep 2023 - 48min - 329 - How to Connect with Your Upset Child, Even When There's More Than One
Janet responds to a parent with a toddler and four-year-old who struggles to connect with her kids individually, and neither reacts well when the other is getting mom’s attention. For instance, she says when she tries to give her older son some lap time, “my 18-month-old clearly gets jealous and starts squealing, attempting to climb on me, hitting his brother.” She’s wondering if it’s possible to really connect with either child when both are upset. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 29 Aug 2023 - 19min - 328 - Problems with Punishments (Described by a Parent Who Used Them) with Michelle Kenney
As a teacher, Michelle Kenney used punishments and rewards to motivate and manage children's behavior in her classroom. Then she became a mom. When her second daughter was born, her first child began exhibiting the typical behavior of an older, displaced child. She talked back, threw tantrums, and at one point became dangerously rough with her little sister. Frustrated and worried, Michelle’s instinct was to discipline her daughter with yelling and punishments, but she soon found that this approach was having the opposite effect and only driving a wedge between them. Introduced by chance to a gentle parenting coach, Michelle was eventually able to see her daughter’s behavior through a more empathetic lens. That changed everything. “It’s such a beautiful thing,” she says, “Having these good, connected relationships… I know they feel safe, and I never felt that way when I was growing up.” Michelle is now a parent coach and shares her experience, inspiration, and knowledge in her new book Unpunished. Michelle's contact information and parenting resources are available at peaceandparentingla.com. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 22 Aug 2023 - 31min - 327 - Teaching Kids About Personal Space
Toddlers and preschoolers are driven to learn everything about their world, and they are particularly intrigued by the people in it: peers, family members, kids, grown-ups, and most of all their parents. A key aspect of their socialization is learning about personal boundaries, understanding how to assert theirs and respect those of others. They need our help with that. In her response to a parent's question about her 2.5 year old hitting children who invade his space, Janet explains how we teach these invaluable lessons and why they matter. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 15 Aug 2023 - 21min - 326 - Fears Around Starting School
A parent writes that her 5-year-old is afraid to start kindergarten. Though she’s sympathetic that this is a big transition for her son, as he’s never been cared for by anyone but his grandparents or a cousin, she’s recovering from breast cancer and also has a two-year-old, so she needs this to work. While she and her husband both try to validate his feelings and talk about the fun parts of school, he ends up whining and breaking down, saying he isn’t going to like it and doesn’t want to go. She’s struggling and admits, “I have no words and don’t know the right thing to do or say.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 08 Aug 2023 - 19min - 325 - Parent Traps
Kids seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting our vulnerabilities as parents. And as adept learners and explorers, they can't help but keep pressing the buttons they discover in us. It can be easy for us to get stuck in an uncomfortable, unproductive cycle. Janet shares two recent interactions she's had with friends who are concerned about disconcerting new tendencies they've noticed in their children. One parent says her daughter is portraying herself as a constant victim, blaming others for every mishap, even for her own errors and misdeeds. Another writes that when her son is in tantrum mode, she gently stops him from hitting and kicking, but afterwards, he complains that she is “pushing him.” He remains angry and shouts, “I don’t love you!” Janet identifies the common thread that could be causing these parents to doubt themselves and describes several additional examples parents have shared with her that fit this pattern. She offers suggestions for understanding and approaching these situations in a manner that ultimately curtails them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 01 Aug 2023 - 23min - 324 - Healing Our Perfectionism (with Emma Nadler)
Emma Nadler is a psychotherapist, author, and parent whose life was changed forever when doctors informed her that her second child, Eden, had a rare genetic condition. As she became familiar with the complexities of her daughter’s diagnosis, Emma had to confront her preconceptions of motherhood, self-judgment, and especially her tendency toward perfectionism. In her conversation with Janet, she describes her complex journey through grief, joy, and loneliness as she navigates her unexpected life. Throughout, she shares a powerful message of acceptance when life doesn’t go as planned. Emma's memoir "The Unlikely Village of Eden" is available wherever books are sold, including Amazon. Please note: Listening to this episode in no way creates a client/therapist relationship with Emma Nadler. This is educational in nature. No legal, counseling, or other professional services are being rendered and nothing is intended to provide such services or advice of any kind. If you are having a mental health emergency, please contact 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also text or call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (in the United States). Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 25 Jul 2023 - 39min - 323 - What Science Says About Respectful Parenting (with Anya Dunham, PhD)
When scientist Anya Dunham was expecting her first baby, she decided to take a deep dive into the science behind various parenting techniques and philosophies. She was particularly drawn to the ideas Janet shares from the work of Magda Gerber and Emmi Pikler, because they complemented her own intuition. Anya joins Janet to discuss her research, how it supports the tenets of respectful parenting, and how parents can trust both science and their own intuition in the parenting experience. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 18 Jul 2023 - 38min - 322 - Our Child Won't Listen
The parent of a 4-year-old says he and his partner “have done the best we can to follow the principles of positive parenting,” but their boy has been refusing to follow instructions and often seems to ignore them entirely. His behavior is unsafe around their toddler and newborn, so this couple is struggling to remain calm and respectful. Janet offers them some insights and strategies to connect with their son and hopefully bring some peace to the household. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 11 Jul 2023 - 16min - 321 - When Our Kids Reject Us (A Step-By-Step Response)
A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and sadness during these episodes, but she's wondering if her controlled response is making matters worse. Janet offers six steps for responding to her son in a more connected manner that she hopes will alleviate the behavior. She then applies these same steps to two other situations where parents describe how their kids are rejecting their efforts to engage and saying hurtful things: One whose toddler daughter is grieving the recent loss of her grandmother; another whose 6-year-old daughter reacts to her mother’s corrections with self-loathing statements like "I"m stupid, I don't want you to love me, I'm just the worst." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Wed, 05 Jul 2023 - 35min - 320 - How To Help a Frustrated Child
It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their frustration, or even complete the task ourselves. In this episode of Unruffled, Janet advises a mom who writes that her otherwise capable, confident two-year-old is easily frustrated. How can she respond in a manner that helps him develop more patience? Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 27 Jun 2023 - 20min - 319 - Mental Health Starts in Infancy (with Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon)
“I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.” Janet’s guest is Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon, an Infant Developmental Psychologist and RIE Associate with over 20 years of national and international experience in the Early Childhood field. Angela’s passion and the focus of her extensive work and research is building strong adult-infant/toddler relationships from birth, no matter what the circumstances. Every infant is unique, and every family dynamic is different. Angela strives to equip parents and professionals with tools to support and strengthen their relationships while nurturing each child's authenticity, resilience, and self-confidence. Learn more about Angela's work and resources at: FIOTbabiesconsulting.com. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 20 Jun 2023 - 37min - 318 - Our Fears as Parents - Real and Imagined (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)
Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the time our babies are born, we're faced with a multitude of decisions about what we allow them to experience. Naturally, we want to empower our kids to feel capable and resilient, self-confident rather than doubtful, not anxious or fearful. But how do we know when we should let go and trust vs. say no and shield them? Are we saying no because it's too risky for our child, or because it makes us anxious? How can we manage and understand our fears? Janet's guest Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child”) speaks to all of these questions with her usual brilliance and eloquence. Learn more about the resources Dr. Tina Payne Bryson offers at TinaPayneBryson.com and on her Instagram page: TinaPayneBryson Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 13 Jun 2023 - 44min - 317 - Let Kids Choose... Except When They Can't
As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to be decision-makers and problem solvers, helps to foster a sense of autonomy, agency and healthy control in their world. In this episode, Janet shares how we can begin offering our kids choices even as babies and how as toddlers they crave choice as an expression of their burgeoning sense of self. Janet notes, however, that it can get more complicated. There will be times when offering young children even the simplest choice can seem to paralyze them in indecision. In other instances, they'll make opposing demands on us that can be confusing and infuriating. How do we navigate this? Janet explains by offering guidelines for when and how offering choices works best. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 06 Jun 2023 - 27min - 316 - Raising Emotional Intelligence and Resilience for a Meaningful Life (with Susan David)
In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they’re no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 30 May 2023 - 41min - 315 - What To Do About Embarrassing, Troubling, or Crazy-Making Things Our Kids Say
Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and discourage them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 23 May 2023 - 23min - 314 - It's Not Too Late
Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9, and 3) who has just recently found Unruffled. She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” However, she realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming, inconsistencies, and a negative reaction to her kids’ emotions. She says her middle child especially is struggling as a result. She feels guilty and is wondering how to make things right. “How can I help them after all the damage I have done?“ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 16 May 2023 - 22min - 313 - The Science of Intimacy With Our Kids (With Dr. Taniesha Burke)
Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we foster creates a sense of safety that helps our kids stay more grounded and self-regulated, so there won't be as much challenging behavior. When it does arise, it will be easier to resolve. Most important of all, our parent-child relationships will be deeper, richer, more rewarding, and lifelong. Janet's guest Dr. Taniesha Burke is a researcher and parent coach who has extensively studied how parent-child intimacy works and what we can do to increase it. Dr. Burke and Janet discuss these findings and how we can apply them with our children and in all our relationships. Taniesha's website is: https://www.tanieshaburke.com Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 09 May 2023 - 35min - 312 - Getting Real With How We Feel (With Elisabeth Corey)
“When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.” Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her teens from severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As an adult, that horrific period of her life was wiped from her memory, but the birth of her twins triggered painful flashbacks. Elisabeth has not only championed her own recovery but dedicated her life and work to helping others—breaking the cycle of abuse through conscious parenting. Janet and Elizabeth share a brave conversation about how emotional suppression distances us from our true selves, which makes caring for our children much harder. Alternatively, awareness of our feelings leads to healing and sets us free. Elisabeth’s website is BeatingTrauma.com where she offers one-on-one coaching, workshops, a blog, a free video series, and much more. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 02 May 2023 - 44min - 311 - Words That Get in Our Way
Janet frequently advises us not to focus on trying to say the "right" words when we’re engaging with our kids. Why? Because regardless of the words we’re using, our children usually sense what we are feeling and how we are perceiving them moment to moment. So, generally, memorized scripts or phrases aren’t going to be as important as our true feelings and intentions. However, in this episode, Janet switches gears to describe 3 situations where our words actually do matter. In these instances, word choices can affect our perceptions of our children, hinder our ability to connect with them, and impede other goals we have as parents. None of us are perfect, of course, nor would our kids wish us to be, but awareness of the impact of our words can make our lives easier. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 25 Apr 2023 - 16min - 310 - It Works! Parents Report Powerful Benefits From Allowing Kids' Feelings
Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart into a place where we can calm ourselves enough to genuinely listen, and accept with compassion rather than judgment. In this episode, Janet shares several notes from parents who describe how making the effort to practice this perspective has paid off in major breakthroughs in their relationships with their children. One parent writes: “I have tears in my eyes as I write this because I just didn’t know that this type of connection with anyone, let alone the most important person in my world, was even possible.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 18 Apr 2023 - 23min - 309 - When Our Child Won't Accept Boundaries
Janet responds to an email from a parent who admits she struggles to establish personal boundaries. She says she has "hit rock bottom" regarding her relationship with her 2-year-old. She tries to set limits and then acknowledge his feelings when he reacts, but he screams and cries, and she can't get her work done. She believes her son is "making it very clear that I need a drastic change if I want our relationship to be a two-way street." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 11 Apr 2023 - 22min - 308 - How to Help Kids Behave in Restaurants, Church, Storytime, Music Class, and More
We all have certain hopes and expectations of our children when it comes to their behavior in public settings, both organized and informal. We’re often disappointed. The reality is that in any given situation, not every young child will handle themselves with the kind of interest and attention we desire or expect, even when other children seem to have it all together. Janet offers 9 suggestions for how we can better understand our children’s behavior in these moments and how to support them to benefit from the experiences. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 04 Apr 2023 - 26min - 307 - Problems With Other People's Children
As conscious parents, we're doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children's behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids' lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. It’s inevitable our kids will encounter situations that confuse, baffle, or even frighten them. So, what do we do when our kids are faced with these new and uncomfortable situations? And what is the best way to interact gracefully and helpfully with parents who aren’t on the same page? Janet shares 3 notes from parents whose kids have experienced unpleasant interactions with other children. The parents' instinct was to step in, but they were uncertain how to do that without offending the other parents. Janet explains her perspective and specific advice for handling each of these encounters. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 28 Mar 2023 - 29min - 306 - Preparing Our Children to Be Emotionally Healthy Teens (With Phinnah Chichi)
Janet’s guest this week is Phinnah Chichi, an author, lecturer, and parenting coach whose inspired ideas and worldview help to educate and empower both teens and their parents. Phinnah’s work and philosophy dovetail with Janet’s focus on infants and toddlers. Both prioritize communication, trust, and connection to encourage emotional and social skills, and ultimately to forge lasting parent/child relationships. Phinnah's website: parentingteenssolutions.com. Her book is available on Amazon. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 21 Mar 2023 - 35min - 305 - What To Do (and Not Do) When Kids Have Meltdowns, Tantrums, Strong Emotions
What do children need from us when they're experiencing intense feelings? What are the best things to say and do to calm their emotional storms? Janet responds to notes from three insightful professionals who express concerns that what they're doing isn't working. Janet validates their perspectives and explains why. Then she offers specific recommendations for navigating children's outbursts in a manner that fosters their resilience and a healthy attitude toward emotions while also nurturing trusting relationships. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 14 Mar 2023 - 24min - 304 - Stuck in a Pattern of Frustration and Anger
A mother laments the close relationship she used to enjoy with her daughter before having another child. Lately, her daughter has been testing limits, and she has found herself losing both her patience and her temper. “I really don’t want to continue this way with my daughter.” She’s wondering if Janet has any advice how she can remain calm and confident when her daughter seems intent on pushing her buttons. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 07 Mar 2023 - 19min - 303 - How We Invalidate Our Kids Without Meaning To (And What to Do Instead)
With the best of intentions, we can invalidate our kids in subtle ways that make it harder for them to move through their feelings in a healthy manner. Janet responds to three questions from listeners who each recount a specific difficulty they’re experiencing with their kids’ behaviors. These are thoughtful, patient, respectful parents, yet their problems seem to persist. They feel they just can’t get through to their child. Janet identifies a common thread in these parents’ stories and explains how and why they could be inadvertently invalidating their children’s feelings. She offers suggestions for how they might look beyond the problem to understand and address the cause. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 28 Feb 2023 - 24min - 302 - Shouldn't They Know Better By Now?
It can be confounding when our children behave in negative ways after we've told them umpteen times it’s wrong. Surely they’re aware that we don’t approve! And yet, they repeat the behavior no matter how frustrated, annoyed, or angry we get. Janet offers her perspective on this dynamic while answering a question from the mom of a short-tempered 6-year-old. This boy's father believes certain behaviors are simply unacceptable because their son is “old enough to know better,” but this mom isn't as sure and wonders if Janet can clarify what they should realistically expect for a child their son’s age. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. You can find the Mr. Chazz videos that Janet mentions at: tiktok.com/@mrchazzmrchazz. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 21 Feb 2023 - 24min - 301 - Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn)
Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impacting their daily lives. Andrew says: "Trauma robs you of the freedom to choose how you react." Lavinia and Andrew describe some of the common signs of trauma and repressed emotions, how they recognized their own, and how their respective coaching practices enable parents to process these emotions by connecting with the needs of their inner child. Reach Lavinia at LaviniaBrown.com. Her Instagram is LaviniaBrownCoaching. Reach Andrew at AndrewLynn.net, or on Instagram at Andrew.g.Lynn. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 14 Feb 2023 - 46min - 300 - Love Doesn't Mean Walking on Eggshells
In this week’s podcast, Janet breaks format slightly by sharing back-and-forth interactions she's had with listeners and her reflections about these exchanges. In the first, a parent eloquently describes a revelation about his children’s challenging behaviors and how they can bring out his best self. The second exchange explores the nuances of navigating boundaries and the messages we unintentionally give children by walking on eggshells vs. welcoming their feelings. Janet connects these discussions by noting how they both express what putting love into action really means with our kids. Exciting news: Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available now at: NoBadKidsCourse. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 07 Feb 2023 - 22min - 299 - Weird, Worrying Behaviors That Our Child Keeps Repeating
Janet responds to 3 separate messages from parents who are having issues with their children that are making them confused and unsure of themselves. While the details of the children's behaviors all differ, Janet identifies a common theme in the parents’ reactions and attitudes that she believes is perpetuating the behavior. She offers suggestions for how these parents can shift their perspective, gain more confidence in their role as leaders, and respond in a manner that resolves the true need behind the "wants" their children are expressing. Janet's No Bad Kids Master Course is available now: http://nobadkidscourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 31 Jan 2023 - 23min - 298 - Worn Down by a Toddler's Screaming, Testing, and Demands
A frustrated parent writes that she and her partner are feeling like failures because their 2.5-year-old is pushy and demanding to the point that they end up losing their patience and yelling. Most challenging of all is that the toddler screams when she doesn’t get her way -- and sometimes for no reason at all. Occasionally, they've screamed right back. “I know,” this parent admits, “a very low point.” Janet offers insights as to the cause of the child's behavior and a perspective shift to help ease this mom’s concerns while also improving their parent-child relationship dynamics. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 24 Jan 2023 - 21min - 297 - Is Parenting Too Hard? You May Be Doing Too Much
No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we need to --- depleting our energy with roles and tasks that are better left to our child. In this episode, Janet offers ideas for lightening our workload by recognizing and trusting our children's intrinsic abilities. Janet's job description reframe can help save our energy, nurture self-confidence, and at the same time foster a flourishing parent-child relationship. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 17 Jan 2023 - 26min - 296 - More Kids, More Conflict - How Can We Keep the Peace?
The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope with her situation when everything feels like a compromise. “Most of the time I feel like they’re either fighting with each other or fighting over me,” she says. “It’s exhausting.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 10 Jan 2023 - 22min - 295 - Controlling, Rigid, Argumentative Behavior (What It Means and What We Can Do)
Janet replies to the concerns of 3 different families who all share that they're struggling with their children's controlling, inflexible, and, in one case, possessive behaviors. The children range in age from 2 to 6, and Janet observes they all appear to have personalities on the intense side. One parent is particularly worried about how her son treats his peers when he doesn't get his way. She writes: "I worry he will lose friends or be unable to form deep connections if he yells and screams at his friends like this." Janet suggests a point of view for understanding and addressing these behaviors which can apply to almost any issue parents might face. She also offers examples of responses for the specific behaviors in each of these situations. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available for pre-order at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 03 Jan 2023 - 34min - 294 - (Encore) A Pep-Talk for Parents: Embracing Our Power to Be Confident Leaders
Janet shares what she describes as her most valuable advice for parents -- a mindset that brings clarity to our role in our children's lives, makes our job more enjoyable and successful, and may even offer us personal growth. Janet explains why and how this perspective works, offers practical examples, and touches on some of the common issues that can get in our way. As parents, we tend to question ourselves: are we doing this parenting thing right, or are we failing? Janet's message is to afford ourselves the same trust and grace we hope to give to our children, to fully believe that we can do this! Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is now available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 27 Dec 2022 - 26min - 293 - The Upside of Toddler Tantrums
A parent is uncomfortable with her toddler's tantrums because her child seems so unreachable at these times. The parent's instinct is to reach out, soothe and reassure her child, but she realizes there is no way to get through to her when she's in the midst of it. She's hoping Janet has advice for how she might connect with respect and compassion. Janet's 'No Bad Kids Master Course' is available for pre-order on her website www.janetlansbury.com or at NoBadKidsCourse.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 20 Dec 2022 - 15min - 292 - Nurturing a Deeper Connection to Nature and Heritage (with Ashley Causey-Golden)
Educator Ashley Causey-Golden was drawn to Montessori principles but felt something missing that she longed to provide: cultural relevancy. She wondered, "What would it look like to create a Montessori space that uplifted, affirmed, celebrated Black children?" Fulfilling this desire has been a journey of discovery and grace (with a lot of mistakes along the way). Ashley's ultimate success gave her the courage to pursue another passion: nature education. As the co-founder of Gather Forest School and creator of Afrocentric Montessori, Ashley has a wealth of experience to share with all families and educators interested in nurturing our children's spirit, sense of community, and connection to the natural world. For more about Ashley and her resources and projects, please visit: https://afrocentricmontessori.com/ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Janet's books are available in paperback and ebook at Amazon.com, and in audio at Audible. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 13 Dec 2022 - 35min - 291 - Best Ways to Encourage Independent Play
Janet addresses a parent’s concerns about her daughter’s unwillingness to play independently. She seems to need constant stimulation and entertainment. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com or www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books in paperback at Amazon and in audio at Audible. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 06 Dec 2022 - 23min - 290 - Navigating Get-Togethers with Relatives, Friends, and Their Kids
We may not always agree with the parenting styles of our relatives and friends, and that's okay. Get-togethers can still be enjoyable, positive social experiences for us and for our kids. In this episode, Janet offers her perspective on some of the common challenges that arise in gatherings with friends, family, and in public situations with other kids and parents. Her suggestions include: How to set ourselves up for successBeing proactive, rather than reactiveEffective interventions with other parents’ children (as well as our own) Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 29 Nov 2022 - 26min - 289 - It's Hard to Feel Compassion for Unreasonable Emotions
A concerned parent writes that her 3-year-old seems to be in a constant state of frustration or anxiety, and she makes outlandish demands and cries when she doesn’t get her way. While this mom tries to be compassionate, it’s getting more and more difficult, and she worries that her own postpartum anxiety may have modeled the behavior. She’s looking for healthy ways to help them both cope. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at wwwnobadkidscourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 22 Nov 2022 - 20min - 288 - Raising Creative, Critical Thinkers in a Commercialized World (with Susan Linn)
Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices for stimulation and soothing. She explains how games and devices teach values that are often diametrically opposed to our own, how they can affect learning by shrinking our children’s world and even interfere with parent-child relationships. Ultimately, Susan and Janet focus on the positive actions we can take to lessen the impact of manipulative marketers while realistically acknowledging the role of digitized culture in all of our lives. More to learn in this episode:How to choose the most beneficial toys and programs for our kidsHow advertisers capture children's attention and encourage them to nag us for more, more, moreWhy combatting commercialized culture isn't only a family issue, but a societal oneWhat Alexa offers to "bored" childrenComputer games are less "active" for kids than we might believe For more on Susan, her work, and her books, visit: www.https://www.consumingkids.com/ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 15 Nov 2022 - 37min - 287 - End of the Day Crazies with Kids
Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses. Which means that instead of enjoying restorative quality time together, we're faced with challenging behavior, high emotions, and discontent. Janet unpacks some of the reasons why evenings can be so difficult for kids and what we can do to help them (and ourselves!). Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 08 Nov 2022 - 26min - 286 - Boundaries We Need and Deserve (with Nedra Tawwab)
Janet is joined by Nedra Tawwab: therapist, relationship expert, and author of the NY Times best-seller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace.” Nedra and Janet discuss how our personal boundaries with friends, family, co-workers, and children are crucial for building positive, healthy relationships. Nedra emphasizes how boundaries begin with being kinder to ourselves. "We are in relationships from the time we're born,” Nedra says, “and the biggest relationship, the most consistent relationship we have is the one with ourselves. And that is the relationship that I'm constantly trying to improve." Ultimately, the boundaries and self-image we nurture for ourselves teach our children what they deserve in their relationships, now and in the future. For more information and resources from Nedra, including her best-selling book "Set Boundaries, Find Peace," go to: https://www.nedratawwab.com/ Janet's NO BAD KIDS MASTER COURSE is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 01 Nov 2022 - 26min - 285 - When We're Too Late to Stop the Behavior (Now What?)
A parent with a family in transition writes about a series of mischievous and sometimes destructive incidents perpetrated by her toddler. She’s wondering how to address these situations, especially after the fact when the deed is already done. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 25 Oct 2022 - 21min - 284 - The Beauty of Sleep (with Eileen Henry)
Sleep is an essential element of our happiness and well-being. If our child is not sleeping, then chances are good that we aren’t either. Many families are content with the sleep situations in their households, and more power to them. Others seek advice and solutions because they struggle night after night. Still others fear that making any kind of change in their approach could threaten their attachment bond and are resigned to waiting months, even years, for their children's sleep patterns to improve. They've been led to believe that this is the only natural, gentle, or respectful way. Sleep specialist Eileen Henry's perspective is neither "cry it out" nor "wait it out," but a middle way that prioritizes attachment and is rooted in science and nature. "We don't train children to sleep,” she says. “We create a physical and emotional environment that allows sleep to come naturally." Visit Eileen's website at: http://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury and NoBadKidsCourse. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 18 Oct 2022 - 33min - 283 - How Sportscasting Helps Kids Develop Social Intelligence
Janet responds to a mother who writes that she tries to sportscast disagreements between her older two children, but since the 2-year-old isn’t verbal yet, “it’s hard when I don’t really know what he’s thinking.” She’s wondering how to sportscast situations effectively without making assumptions about what her boy may be thinking or feeling in that moment. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 11 Oct 2022 - 15min - 281 - Stressed by a Child's Demands for Attention
A frustrated parent who describes herself as “desperate for help” seeks advice about her persistent, high-energy 2.5-year-old, who dominates her and her husband's time and energy with relentless demands to be the focus of their universe -- all day, every day. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 04 Oct 2022 - 23min - 280 - Teaching Our Kids Patience
Our children's impatience and low tolerance for frustration can… well, test our patience! In this week's episode, Janet responds to a question from a listener about how to teach a toddler to be more patient. Janet considers what patience really means to a child, how it develops, and how our expectations as parents and caregivers may get in the way. Her recommendations (as is often the case) may be surprising and counterintuitive. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at nobadkidscourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 27 Sep 2022 - 19min - 279 - Independent Play, Meltdowns, Boundaries -- Success Stories from My Inbox
A parent who’s always been her toddler’s playmate helps her child over the hump to flourish in independent play. Another parent learns to set boundaries, shift her perspective, and accept her child’s meltdowns. Janet shares a special milestone and much more in this latest episode of Unruffled. Thanks to Ritual for sponsoring this episode. Janet's new "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 20 Sep 2022 - 21min - 278 - How to Avoid a Stand-Off When Kids "Disobey"
Janet responds to a parent who wonders how to react to her daughter's consistently stubborn behavior. "I feel like I have a set of tools to handle my 4-year-old daughter's outbursts of emotions, but I am at a loss for what to do when she stoically disobeys or ignores me altogether." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more on respectful parenting solutions, please check out "Sessions", Janet's collection of recorded consultations with parents: www.SessionsAudio.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 13 Sep 2022 - 25min - 277 - Help Me Stop Yelling at My Child
Janet responds to an email from a parent who says that lately, she has found herself yelling at her 3-year-old, who’s been having a difficult time since the birth of her brother. She realizes that yelling is not helping her daughter, and it’s not the parent she wants to be. “I’ve really lost control of this parenting thing and need a reset.” Janet new "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ). Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 06 Sep 2022 - 12min - 276 - Childhood Wounds We Never Knew We Had (Until Kids) with Dr. Jean Cheng
Clinical psychologist Jean Cheng joins Janet to discuss the puzzling, painful, and self-defeating feelings that our children's behaviors can bring up in us as parents. No matter how well educated and prepared we are for this role, we might find ourselves overwhelmed and viscerally reacting by yelling, threatening, or "checking out." Often the answer lies in our own childhoods, in subtle wounds and traumas we may have had no awareness of before becoming parents. Dr. Cheng describes the myriad of ways our parents and caregivers – while often doing their very best – may have left wounds. She illuminates “this inner landscape of feelings” that our brains tend to minimize but which can manifest in a lack of self-confidence, an inability to maintain boundaries, and “reactions that are different from the kind of parents we want to be.” Janet and Jean discuss ways to recognize and acknowledge our childhood wounds and address them with empathy and compassion. Janet's new 'No Bad Kids Master Course' is available at nobadkidscourse.com and www.janetlansbury.com. You can contact Dr. Jean Cheng on these platforms: https://instagram.com/jeanpsychologist https://www.facebook.com/jeanpsychologist/ Website: https://www.talithakoumpsychology.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 30 Aug 2022 - 33min - 275 - Hitting, Screaming, Calling Us Names (and What We Can Do About it)
Janet helps a struggling parent understand her spirited toddler’s aggressive behavior and offers suggestions to respond more effectively. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 23 Aug 2022 - 23min - 274 - Lessons, Sports, and Hobbies: A Child-Led Approach
How do we help our children benefit from the privilege of extracurricular activities? At what age should we enroll our kids in lessons and sports? Janet has a child-centered approach that not everyone will agree with, but she believes is "too good not to share." She discusses how parents can discern their child's readiness and describes the benefits and challenges of making readiness our priority. She shares how her approach keeps the big picture in mind while also saving time and money and alleviating many of the concerns and frustrations that parents have expressed to her over the years. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ATFwkb Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 16 Aug 2022 - 23min - 273 - Easing Our Children's Transition to School
It can be so hard to separate from our children sometimes! Particularly if they cry, seem anxious, or strongly object. How can we prepare our children (and ourselves) for a successful transition? Janet responds to emails from two different families struggling with goodbyes at school drop-off and offers recommendations for a helpful and respectful approach to handling all transitions and separations. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 09 Aug 2022 - 19min - 272 - Validating Feelings Isn't Working
The practice of acknowledging our children's feelings and struggles can provide healing, calming messages of safety and acceptance. With a genuine tone and a few words, our acknowledgments can help children share pent-up emotions, feel seen and heard, and gradually regulate, which in turn eases problematic behaviors. However, parents commonly share with Janet that validating feelings doesn't work for their child and feels more like an exercise in frustration. Janet speaks to some of the common reasons this practice might feel less effective, what to do instead, and why we shouldn't give up on acknowledging as a powerfully empathic relationship-building tool. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 02 Aug 2022 - 18min - 271 - When Your Kids Won't Give You a Break
The mother of two boys feels they are constantly testing her limits and always at her side demanding attention. They won’t allow her a moment to handle daily chores like laundry or cooking, never mind her personal needs. “They think it’s funny, “ she writes, “and I undoubtedly lose my patience. I feel like they just don’t listen to whatever limit I’ve set.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 26 Jul 2022 - 14min - 270 - Is 'Gentle Parenting' Too Extreme and Impossible?
Janet shares an exchange she had with a parent who wonders how anyone can possibly live up to the extreme idealism of "gentle parenting." She writes: “It sounds so lovely… but it’s also crushing to never be able to live up to despite having all the tools and knowledge.” While "gentle parenting" is not a term Janet uses, she understands that it's a catch-all for recent discussions and news articles about parenting philosophies. In response, Janet shares her own mental and emotional struggles as a new mother striving for perfectionism as she tried to put Magda Gerber’s teachings into practice. She describes moments of frustration, feelings of failure and being judged, and how through her own experiences of self-doubt and criticism, she learned to give herself permission to be an imperfect parent in a process. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 19 Jul 2022 - 25min - 269 - Boosting Your Child's Self-Confidence
We all aspire for our children to grow up with a positive self-image and an abundance of self-confidence. When life throws our child a dilemma, it’s our natural instinct to want to fix it, or at least work them through the uncomfortable feelings with a pep talk. In this episode, Janet answers questions from three listeners and offers a more helpful – albeit counterintuitive – perspective that can help children learn resilience and find the kind of confidence in themselves that lasts a lifetime. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 12 Jul 2022 - 28min - 268 - Boundaries That Encourage the Most Positive Sibling Relationships
A mother writes that her toddler son “can’t keep his hands off” his 10-month old sister. She describes his demeanor as a mixture of excitement and affection, but she also senses an undertone of aggression. She wants them both to feel her support when they’re together in one space, but she finds herself either holding him back or removing the baby altogether. “I’d like to find a safe way for them to engage with each other,” she writes. “At least sometimes.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books in paperback at Amazon, and on audio at Audible. Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 05 Jul 2022 - 16min - 267 - Don't Let Your Kids Miss Out on Play (with Kisha Reid)
Early childhood expert Kisha Reid joins Janet in a lively conversation about the often overlooked and underestimated benefits of play-driven learning and how we can nurture these lifelong gifts for our children. Kisha and Janet discuss the magic of trusting children to discover and develop their passions and how our fears, misperceptions, and impatience as parents can get in their way. Reid weighs in on how to balance free play with lessons, sports, and other extracurriculars and whether parents should be concerned about summer learning loss. She also shares how in the early stages of her career she went against the grain by pioneering her play-based approach in traditional preschool environments.: “I was that teacher that everybody else looked at like, ‘What is wrong with her? She can’t control her class.’” Reid describes how she accommodates neurodiverse children in her program and her belief overall that “we need to shift the measuring tool that we use for some of our assessments of young children so that it’s inclusive of values and more diverse things.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 28 Jun 2022 - 40min - 266 - What to Do Instead of Time Out
Janet shares an exchange with a mom requesting "alternatives to time out when natural consequences aren’t appropriate." The parent wonders how to intervene with her toddler when she is possessive and aggressive around other kids. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). This episode is a special ad-free broadcast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 21 Jun 2022 - 15min - 265 - Helping Our Children Say "I'm Sorry"
The mother of a four-year-old is frustrated that her child will never say “I’m sorry" when he's done something wrong. She has tried both gentle and more forceful approaches, as well as attempting to help him understand the spirit and intent of an apology, all to no effect. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tue, 14 Jun 2022 - 14min - 264 - When Troublesome Behavior Continues... and Continues
Our children's repeated behaviors can be baffling, exhausting, and sometimes infuriating, particularly after we've tried everything we can think of to make them stop. What are we missing? In this episode of ‘Unruffled’, Janet shares some of the common reasons behaviors persist and offers her actionable suggestions for helping our children (and ourselves) get unstuck. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Wed, 08 Jun 2022 - 30min
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