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Sex, heath, relationships: frank, funny, furious. Join host Yumi Stynes as she rips open the sealed section on life. Ladies, We Need to Talk goes deep on the personal stuff that's hard to talk about, even with your closest mates. From the wonders of our vulvas to managing the mental load to the search for orgasms and much more! With sensitivity, personal stories, and serious smarts, this show is for women who feel the squeeze between work, their private life, and their pelvic floor.
- 277 - Hey Yumi—My partner's gone full slob
Do you have to pry your partner off the couch with a fork-lift? Are they living in skanky trackies 24/7? Yumi spills the tea on what to do if your other half has gone full slob. Got a life problem you just can’t solve? Help is at hand! We’re handing the mic over to you, our lush listeners and taking the burden of problem solving off your shoulders... because Ladies, We Need To Talk... Back! Send us your questions as a voice note to ladies@abc.net.au - we can’t wait to hear from you!
Tue, 07 May 2024 - 07min - 276 - Adult Virgins
We live in a sex obsessed world, where hook-up culture is king and getting laid out like a spatchcocked chicken is a status symbol. But what if you’re a fully-fledged adult, paying your own bills and you’re still a “virgin”? Some women might hold off having sex for the first time because they want to meet the “right” person, others because they haven’t had the opportunity or are waiting until marriage. Whatever the reason, it can feel lonely and isolating when there so much noise around sex. Yumi Stynes talks to women who haven’t yet had sex, either by choice or circumstance and to another who waited to have sex for over 40 years, until she met her perfect person. We love hearing from you! Send us an email or a voice note to ladies@abc.net.au Featured in this episode: Amanda McCracken, writer on love and limerence
Tue, 30 Apr 2024 - 31min - 275 - INTRODUCING - our most intimate season ever
Are you a card-carrying virgin? Know what it's like to be the other woman? Horny as hell and can’t get enough? Ladies, We Need To Talk is back and we’re going deep! This season we’ll be meeting the truly gorgeous women who are eager to have sex for the very first time, but for whatever reason haven’t met the perfect person yet. You’ll find out about the mysteries of PCOS and why it’s one of the leading causes of infertility. And we’ll hear from the women who are horny with a capital H, and we can’t get enough of it! Also, for the first time ever we’re going weekly baby! With our new, spicy and short episodes of Ladies, We Need To Talk...Back! Your favourite hot Aunty Yumi will be dishing out her no-holds-barred advice on everything from slovenly partners and squishy vaginas and serious mum guilt. The Ladies, We Need To Talk team love getting your messages so please get in touch at ladies@abc.net.au Follow Ladies, We Need To Talk hosted by Yumi Stynes on the ABC Listen App and your fave podcast apps now so you never miss an episode, oh, and tell don’t forget to tell ALL your girls about us.
Tue, 23 Apr 2024 - 02min - 274 - Pongy vagina
Uh oh, what’s that you smell... a funky odour down below? The thought of having a stinky crotch is nightmare fuel for some women, but do we even need to worry about our musky bouquet? The delicate aroma of our lady-garden can be affected by things like our menstrual cycle and our lifestyle but how do we tell when the stank goes from normal to full on malodorous pudenda territory and what can be done about it? It’s time to take off those undies and confront the smelly minge in the room with your bestie Yumi by your side for support. Featured in this episode: Deborah Bateson, Professor of Practice and an expert in sexual health at the University of Sydney Sarah O'Neill, comedian
Tue, 28 Nov 2023 - 27min - 272 - Staying for the money
What happens when you want a divorce but the cost of leaving your marriage would cripple you financially? Would you ever stay in an unhappy marriage for the security money offers? It’s no secret, life is bloody expensive right now. From soaring rents to the cost of a bunch of broccoli, times are tough! So, sticking it out in a relationship you’re no longer happy in can seem appealing. Yumi Stynes talks to women who’ve had to make that extremely difficult choice. Featured in this episode: Victoria Devine, host of She’s on the Money Emily Maguire, CEO of Respect Victoria Rachel Voysey, Founding Director of the Relationship Room Some names have been changed to protect identities Life Line: 13 11 14 1800 Respect: 1800 737 732
Tue, 14 Nov 2023 - 26min - 271 - Clementine Ford on the case against marriage
What if we put a stop to marriage...for good? Like, just stop with flouncy white dresses, walking down the aisle and having a dude give us away. In her new book, I Don’t, Clementine Ford is calling for just that. She reckons that a ring on a finger is a bridal march to losing your identity. From the moment we come screaming into the world, we’re pushed the line that to find “the one” to get married and settle down is the be all and end all. You might discover a cure for cancer, scale Mt Everest and be a total baddie but if you’re unwed you haven't quite made it in the eyes of society. Clem Ford talks to Yumi Stynes about her call to arms for us to ditch the bouquets and our man's dirty laundry for a life on our own terms. Featured in this episode: Clementine Ford, author and feminist
Tue, 31 Oct 2023 - 26min - 270 - BEST OF - Pelvic flaw in all of us
Do you wizz when you sneeze? Or avoid star jumps at the gym? One in four of us (!) have pelvic floor problems which can lead to incontinence and prolapse (eek). But don’t stress! Yumi Stynes has kegel’d her way back to the Ladies archives and dug up some reassurance that you can definitely turn things around. Just be prepared to clench.
Tue, 17 Oct 2023 - 29min - 269 - Falling for a narcissist
You think you’ve met “the one” and they seem totally perfect for you, but is it all too good to be true? Could you be dating a narcissist? What starts out as a dreamy relationship filled with fancy presents and compliments galore, suddenly turns sour and you’re left wondering if you’re slowly losing your mind. Narcissists make up only 1% of the population but the impact they have on the women who date them can be truly devastating. Yumi Stynes meets women who have fallen in love with a narcissist and uncovers the psychology behind their charm. Featured in this episode: Tamara Cavenett, clinical psychologist Some names have been changed to protect identities Life Line: 13 11 14 1800 Respect: 1800 737 732
Tue, 03 Oct 2023 - 29min - 268 - Sober sex
Having sex can be exposing, nerve wracking. When we strip down, we reveal ourselves – and not just our bits. No wonder we sometimes reach for courage in a bottle. For some women, a few shots can make them feel comfortable enough to go home with that hottie from across the bar, for others the relationship between alcohol and sex can be more toxic. Yumi Stynes chats to women who are putting the lid back on the bottle and embarking on sex...stone cold sober. Featured in this episode: Tawny Lara, author of Dry Humping Faye Lawrence, grey area drinking coach
Tue, 19 Sep 2023 - 29min - 267 - BEST OF - Love letter to our friends
Yumi has been on an adventure down to the depths of the ABC archives to uncover an absolute banger of an episode. On every form you ever fill out, there’s always a tick box about your romantic status — de facto, married, single. Why are we only judged on romantic relationships rather than some of the most important bonds in our life — our friendships? In this love letter to our friends, Yumi Stynes invites herself into the joyful friendship between Jamila Rizvi and Clare Bowditch and celebrates the deep platonic love we can only get from our besties.
Tue, 05 Sep 2023 - 31min - 266 - Solo mums by choice
Is the soundtrack to your life a ticking baby-making clock? What if you’re desperate to be a mother but the other half of the baby-making equation just hasn’t become available? Yumi Stynes meets women who have given the middle finger to the idea of the nuclear family and become solo mums by choice. From swiping for sperm; turkey-basting and solo sleep deprivation – find out what it’s really like to choose to parent on your own. Featured in this episode: Alexandra Collier – Author of Inconceivable Dr Karin Hammarberg - Senior Research Fellow, Monash University
Tue, 22 Aug 2023 - 32min - 265 - Emily Nagoski on sex in long term relationships
If you’re having trouble getting hot for your long-term partner? You’re not alone. Domestic bliss, smelling our partner’s farts, demanding kids – it feels like it’s all part of a worldwide conspiracy to shrivel our sex drive. So come hang with Yumi Stynes and sex nerd Emily Nagoski to get some practical advice on how to brush off the cobwebs, bring back our lady-boners and actually want to have sex with our life mate again. Featured in this episode: Emily Nagoski PhD – Sex researcher and author of books, Come As You Are; Burnout and Come Together
Tue, 08 Aug 2023 - 30min - 263 - BEST OF - To pube or not to pube
Yumi Stynes has pinched the keys to the ABC podcast dungeon and has pulled out her absolute fave episodes for you. Are you team Dolphin or team Pubus Maximus? Pubic hair — it's one of the most scrutinised patches of hair on our bodies. Research says 80 per cent of women groom their Map of Tassie regularly. But why do we feel the need to pluck, shave, scrape, or zap our pubes at all? Yumi Stynes find out the meaning behind our pubey grooming choices. Featured in this episode: Mona Chalabi - Data journalist Maeve Marsden - Podcaster Christina Zheng – Comedian
Tue, 25 Jul 2023 - 30min - 262 - Sex in a fat bod
Getting naked in front of someone you’re about to get down and dirty with is a really vulnerable thing to do for even the most confident among us. But what about when you’ve spent your whole life being told your body isn’t desirable or sexy? And those messages are hitting you from everywhere. From television, movies, strangers on the street and even from the very people who are supposed to be into you. That’s the reality for a lot of women living in fat bodies out there, so how do you say a big F*** you to that narrative and start having great sex? Two hot, fat babes, Bec Shaw and April Hélène-Horton got together with Yumi Stynes for a no-holds barred DNM to chat about all things sex. Featured in this episode: Bec Shaw – writer and podcaster April Hélène-Horton aka The Bodzilla – advocate and activist
Tue, 11 Jul 2023 - 25min - 260 - Female rage – why are we so damn angry?
Do you scream foul obscenities at bad drivers? Chuck your phone violently on the bed when seething? Heard “that time of the month?” when you’re furious? Babes, you’re not alone. Women are foaming at the mouth with fury and we’re screaming at the top of our lungs. From the mental load to workplace bullying; sexism and just the patriarchy in general plus - HORMONES - there’s a hell of a lot to be ticked off about. Grab your safety gear and come smash some stuff with Yumi Stynes as she releases her fury with a baseball bat. Who knew destruction could be so cathartic? Featured in this episode: Dr Chelsea Watego – Professor of Indigenous Health at QUT’s School of Public Health and Social Work. Dr Jayashri Kulkarni - Professor in Women's Mental Health. Psychiatrist and Director of Monash University’s Health Education Research Centre. Dr Liz Summerell – Postdoctoral researcher at the University of New South Wales School of Psychology studying anger, aggression, and humility.
Tue, 27 Jun 2023 - 25min - 259 - Esther Perel on Intimacy
So you hugged a workmate having a rough time – is that intimacy? Locked eyes and shared a giggle with a stranger in a spin class – does that count as intimacy? You just had some hook up sex – was it intimate? Here at Ladies HQ, we want to know: What even is intimacy? And when we think we're craving sex is what we are actually wanting, intimacy? (Lucky) Yumi Stynes gets up close and personal with Esther Perel (IRL!) about the importance of intimacy how we can all enjoy a bit more connection with others. Featured in this episode: World renowned relationship psychotherapist; host of Where Should We Begin and How’s Work podcasts and creator of Where Should We Begin the Game, Esther Perel.
Tue, 13 Jun 2023 - 42min - 258 - Choking during sex – can it ever be safe?
You're horny. You're hooking up. It's hot and heavy. Then, a hand makes its way to your throat… wait WTF? Yup. Choking during sex has hit the mainstream. Choking was once the kinda thing you'd only come across in the world of BDSM, but now thanks to our easy access to porn it's literally everywhere and young women are in its grip. A recent study discovered almost 60 per cent of female college students have been choked during sex, with a quarter having been choked by the time they're 17. Yumi Stynes finds out why some women love to be choked during sex and talks to others who aren't so enamoured with it. Some names have been changed to protect identities. Life Line: 13 11 14 1800 Respect: 1800 737 732 Featured in this episode: Dr Debby Herbenick - Professor at Indiana University’s School of Public Health, sexuality researcher, educator and author of Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today's Teens and Sex Aleks Trkulja – Sex therapist at The Pleasure Centre
Tue, 30 May 2023 - 30min - 257 - Heartbreak — why does it feel so bloody awful?
Are you guilty of compulsively stalking your ex on socials whilst ugly crying and eating ice cream out of the carton? Join the club baby. The soul-shattering, unbridled agony of a devastating break-up, is something we tend to avoid really letting ourselves feel. The most we might get from our mates is "get back on the apps babe, there are plenty more fish in the sea". Even though it’s a universal experience, heartbreak sits in the domain of teenage girls writing in their diaries rather than being taken seriously as a mental and physical ailment. Yumi Stynes talks to heartbroken women about how they’re stitching their hearts back into their chests after being tortuously ripped out. Get in touch with your stories of heartbreak and how you made it through: ladies@abc.net.au Featured in this episode: Jessie Stephens, podcaster and author of Heartsick. Alice Haddon, counselling psychologist and founder of The Heartbreak Hotel
Tue, 16 May 2023 - 28min - 256 - INTRODUCING — our most brutally honest season yet
Had your heart pulverised? Been choked during sex? Is your partner a narcissist? Ladies is back and we’re going there.
Tue, 09 May 2023 - 02min - 254 - Our Fear of farting
Even though we all crack a turd whistle once in a while, it doesn't mean we're not ashamed of the noises and smells that erupt from our bums, especially if it happens in public. And according to research, women hold that shame more deeply and are judged more harshly for their eruptions than men. Yumi Stynes sniffs out how we can disperse the cloud of shame around women and farting. Featured in this episode: Professor Clare Collins, Laureate Professor in Nutrition and Dietetics at the University of Newcastle . Dr Kirsten Bell, Professor of Social Anthropology, University of Roehampton Additional production: Kelly Ung & Yimeng Hu
Tue, 08 Nov 2022 - 28min - 253 - Clean eating
Search #cleaneating on social media, and you'll come across over 50 million posts. Vegan, paleo, raw, protein shakes, juice cleanses, gluten-free, dairy-free, chia seeds… all of these things, social media and diet culture will tell us, are the types of foods we should be putting into our bodies. These diets offer the promise of perfect health and the perfect body…But for some they tip over into unhealthy obsession. Yumi Stynes discovers what happens when food choices stop being about "yuk" and "yum" and become a battle between good and evil. When clean eating tips over the wafer-thin line into Orthorexia Nervosa. Featured in this episode: Dr Gemma Sharp, Clinical Psychologist and Head of Body Image research at Monash University
Tue, 25 Oct 2022 - 32min - 250 - Update — Discharge, the gooey taboo
Lots of women are super self-conscious about the sticky stuff in our undies. The way it looks and the way it smells. So much so that up to a third of us wear a panty liner each day. But how much do you actually know about discharge? What should it smell like? What should it look like? And should we just stop dissing our discharge?
Tue, 11 Oct 2022 - 23min - 249 - Facing your own death
The prospect of dying is an abstract thing, something we try hard not to think about at all costs. But what if the one dying…is you? Join Yumi Stynes as she meets women who are facing their own death head-on and learns how to hard those hard conversations about the end of your life. Featured in this episode: Dr Kerrie Noonan, Clinical Psychologist and founder of the Death Literacy Institute.
Tue, 27 Sep 2022 - 23min - 247 - Generation gap - Can couples with a large age difference last?
Cradle snatcher, sugar-daddy, toy-boy, cougar… all of those terms are loaded with baggage and undermine the relationships they describe. Beyond the stereotypes, what's it like to be in a relationship with a big age gap? Yumi Stynes meets women who are defying the research and dating way out of their age range… and loving it, even if their friends and family aren't so enamoured. Featured in this episode: Dr Grace Lordan, Associate Professor at the London School of Economics and Political Science
Tue, 13 Sep 2022 - 29min - 246 - Burnout
Burnout: It's a word so frequently used that it's almost become a catchphrase. And let's face it, who isn't feeling exhausted? But when does that fatigue and overwhelm tip into burnout?
Mon, 29 Aug 2022 - 25min - 245 - Being cheated on
Rooting around is as inescapable as laundry and taxes. While humans all around the world make promises to be with each other through sickness and health, to be loyal to the exclusion of all others, it doesn't always work out that way. Join Yumi Stynes as she discovers what it's like to have your partner do the dirty and how to decide whether to stay or go after being screwed over. Featured in this episode: Christina Spaccavento, Sex and relationships counsellor.
Tue, 16 Aug 2022 - 24min - 244 - INTRODUCING — New episodes of Ladies, We Need To Talk
Fresh from a season on sex, Yumi Stynes is leaping out of the sack, changing the sheets and delving deep into the stuff that keeps us up at night. We're making a big stink about our fear of farting; learning how to nip burnout in the bud and unearthing the dirty truth about "clean eating".
Tue, 09 Aug 2022 - 02min - 243 - What we need men to know about sex
YOU TOLD US AND NOW WE'RE TELLING THE MENFOLK. What we need men to know about sex — from jack-hammering to hygiene to female anatomy 101, nothing's off-limits. If there ever was an episode to share with the blokes in your life, this is it. Featured in this episode: Aleks Trkulja, sex therapist and Nikki Britton, comedian.
Tue, 02 Aug 2022 - 29min - 241 - When bad sex is your life — update
We've all got a bad sex story. The partner who's selfish in the sack. The horribly uninspiring one-night stand. The lover with 'performance anxiety'. Most of us have been there. There's this idea though that we grow out of it — that sex gets better as we get older. But what if that doesn't happen? What if bad sex is your life? Featured in this episode: Lisa Torney, sex and relationship therapist
Tue, 19 Jul 2022 - 33min - 240 - Bonus — Your sex and disability stories
Our sex and disability episode really resonated with you. Hear what our listeners had to say about sex and disability. We love your feedback ladies@abc.net.au. With thanks to Zoe, Lauren, Rose and Rebecca.
Tue, 12 Jul 2022 - 06min - 239 - Sex and the D Word – Disability
Around one in five Australian women live with a disability. And guess what? They're having sex. Hot, creative sex. But steamy conversations about what it's like to love and lust with a disability are often considered too "out there" to talk about. Join Robyn Lambird, Madeleine Stewart, Akii Ngo and Yumi Stynes for a raunchy chat about Sex and the D-word — from insane orgasms to stumping, 'moot pain' to Paralympic thirst.
Tue, 05 Jul 2022 - 28min - 238 - Anal sex — update
Warning: Explicit Content. Is anal the last taboo? One in five women in Australia has had anal sex. It's everywhere in porn and many of us, especially young women, are feeling the pressure to do it. It's uncomfortable discussing anal sex, but ladies, we need to talk about it.
Tue, 21 Jun 2022 - 29min - 237 - Next level sex
Imagine you've been having ho-hum, pedestrian sex your entire life and BAM! A new trick, a new partner, a revelation about yourself or a total life change and suddenly you've crossed into a new sexual dimension. Colours are brighter, the birds are singing and the sex is mind-blowing, Meet the women who have levelled-up and find out how they got to the promised-land. The land of Best. Sex. Ever.
Tue, 07 Jun 2022 - 26min - 236 - Mum won't come to our wedding
You can't help who you fall in love with. But what happens if your family disapproves? Every relationship has its challenges, but for lovers from a completely different cultural and ethnic background, Yumi Stynes finds out that race, religion and tradition can add multiple layers of complication. Featured in this episode: Dr Reenee Singh, Psychologist and Systemic Psychotherapist specialising in Intercultural couples.
Tue, 13 Jul 2021 - 27min - 235 - Asexuality — I don't want to have sex, ever
In a world obsessed with sex, what if you never (or rarely) want it? Yumi Stynes meets women from across the asexuality spectrum to find out how they navigate dating and relationships in a sexed-up world. Featured in the episode: Angela Chen, author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex Resources: https://www.australianasexuals.com/
Tue, 24 May 2022 - 26min - 233 - LiLL — Later in life lesbians
Imagine going down on a woman for the very first time in your 50s. Yumi Stynes meets later-in-life lesbians who, after years of hetero partnerships and raising kids, are coming out. Were they always attracted to women or can our sexuality shift? Featured in this episode: Dr Lisa Diamond Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies, University of Utah. Call: 1300 641 222 | Email: ladies@abc.net.au
Tue, 10 May 2022 - 28min - 232 - Swinging
What's it like to watch your partner have sex with another person? What about a group of people? Welcome to the world of swingers, where couples "play" with each other and with the boundaries of sexual expression. Join Yumi Stynes at a sex club as she pulls back the orgy room curtain and meets women who swing to find out why they love 'The Lifestyle' and how it's transformed their relationships. With special thanks to Juliet Richters, Honorary Professor of the Sexual Health Program at the Kirby Institute. Thanks also to Jess Cattelly from Our Secret Spot.
Tue, 26 Apr 2022 - 26min - 231 - INTRODUCING — Season SEX of Ladies, We Need To Talk
Welcome to season six of Ladies, We Need to Talk. This time around we're turning the steam up to 11, dropping our towels and baring all. Join Yumi Stynes as she learns the ins-and-outs of swinging; meets later-in-life lesbians; finds out what it's like to be asexual and talks to women who've gone from having ho-hum sex to mind-blowing romps. It's hot and hilarious and we're here for it. Call us on 1300 641 222 or email ladies@abc.net.au. Follow in your fave podcast app so you never miss an episode.
Tue, 19 Apr 2022 - 03min - 230 - INTRODUCING — Ladies, We Need To Talk
Brace yourself. Leave your judgement at the door. And embrace a head first dive into those tricky topics that we’re all thinking about, but don’t feel comfortable talking about out loud.
Thu, 31 Aug 2017 - 03min - 229 - Sexual pleasure and how to get it
Sex is more available and permissible than ever before, but despite this, are we actually getting any pleasure? Lots of women still don’t feel entitled to sexual fulfillment and aren’t in touch with what feels good, let alone how to ask for it.
Tue, 02 Nov 2021 - 28min - 228 - PRESENTS — Ladies We Need to Talk the bookTue, 26 Oct 2021 - 02min
- 227 - Women who have never orgasmed
For some women, reaching climax, cumming, the Big O... is as easy as a walk around the block. For others, it’s an arduous, long, steep hike up a mountain, never quite reaching...the “peak”.
Tue, 19 Oct 2021 - 28min - 226 - Body Image — Update
Thanks to the pandemic, we now spend even MORE time doom scrolling through obnoxiously perfect Insta-people, and endlessly staring at our own faces via zoom than ever and (surprise, surprise) it's had a negative impact on our self-esteem. Yumi Stynes catches up with body image and eating disorder expert, Dr Gemma Sharpe, about "zoom dysmorphia" and what can we do to feel better about ourselves, one video call at a time.
Tue, 05 Oct 2021 - 38min - 224 - Digital dating despair
You're more likely to meet your partner on an app than any other way. But between the constant swiping, messaging, rejections, ghosting and d&*k pics, it can be rough. Yumi Stynes talks to a bunch of awesome single women about their approach to dating apps and how to stay sane, safe and maintain your self-esteem while swiping.
Tue, 21 Sep 2021 - 30min - 223 - Sex detox
Forget juice cleanses, meditation and yoni eggs, is a sex detox the best way to reset our thinking around sex and relationships to find out what really presses our buttons? Yumi Stynes talks to women who have flipped the script on sex, who've hit the pause button and are feeling better for it. Featured in this episode: Catherine Gray — Author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Single.
Tue, 07 Sep 2021 - 23min - 222 - Foreplay — update
Ladies, it's time for a refresher course on foreplay! Yumi Stynes talks to psychotherapist Esther Perel and a bunch of brilliant female experts about their best foreplay tips. We're here to talk about it. Ring us on 1300 641 222 or email ladies@abc.net.au.
Tue, 24 Aug 2021 - 29min - 221 - Birth trauma
"Have a baby," they said. "It'll be great," they said. But what they didn't say, was that getting that kid out could leave you traumatised. Physically and mentally. One in three Australian women describe their birth as traumatic. Yumi Stynes hears how different women are still coming to terms with their birth experiences, sometimes years later, and finds out what can be done to prevent traumatic births.
Tue, 10 Aug 2021 - 33min - 220 - A love letter to our friends
On every form you ever fill out, there’s always a tick box about your romantic status — de facto, married, single. Why are we only judged on romantic relationships rather than some of the most important bonds in our life — our friendships? Yumi Stynes writes a love letter to our friends and casually invites herself into the wonderful friendship of Jamila Rizvi and Clare Bowditch.
Tue, 27 Jul 2021 - 30min - 217 - Young widows
What happens if you're young and that #1 person, the special love that you searched for and pinned down, the one you expected to love till you were old — dies early? It's painfully lonely to be a young person grieving, but that loneliness can be compounded by the judgement of others on how to grieve. Yumi Stynes talks to Ellidy Pullin, and other young widows, about life after death. Support services: Grief.org.au Lifeline.org.au Beyondblue.org.au
Tue, 29 Jun 2021 - 27min - 216 - Last shot pregnancy
What happens if you want a baby but you're running out of time? Maybe you haven't found the right partner, or you've found the right one, but they don't want kids? You just can't seem to get pregnant or you're simply too busy having an awesome life and heaps of fun to have a baby. And then suddenly, your 'fertile window' starts to close. Yumi Stynes finds out what it's like to have one last shot at pregnancy. Featured in this episode: Dr Karin Hammarberg (VARTA), Senior research fellow, School of Public Health and Preventive Medicine, Monash University. Fertility resources: yourIVFsuccess.com.au; VARTA; yourfertility.org.au
Tue, 15 Jun 2021 - 34min - 215 - Hair — Why do we care?
Have you noticed that most women have long hair, and most men have short hair? And how grey-haired men are silver foxes and women old and witchy? What's with these unspoken hair rules? And why the hell are we conforming? Yumi Stynes gets to the root of why women's hair is such a big deal and teases out why we're so tangled up in knots about our locks. Featured in this episode: Author Tara Moss; Kellie Scott @Hairlossboss; Shantel Wetherall, Host of Hey Aunty podcast.
Tue, 01 Jun 2021 - 26min - 213 - The rage in my pelvis
Nearly one million Australian women live with persistent pain in their pelvis. Yumi Stynes finds out what the hell it is, what causes it and most importantly, how to get through the day with a raging pelvis. If you need help dealing with your pelvic pain, www.pelvicpain.org.au has loads of helpful advice. Featured in this episode: Dr Susan Evans, Gynaecologist and Pelvic Pain Physician; Gabrielle Jackson, Associate News Editor of Guardian Australia and author of Pain and Prejudice.
Tue, 18 May 2021 - 33min - 211 - What the hell happens in old age?
Saggy boobs, cracked vaginas, being invisible, loneliness. Getting older can't all be this grim? CAN IT?!? Yumi Stynes finds out how to stay awesome, mentally and physically, as the years tick by and the mammaries get lower ... and it's not all bad news for our sex lives — HOORAY! With thanks to the amazing group of women at the Bowral Country Women's Association. Featured in this episode: Professor Cassandra Szoeke, Director of the Healthy Ageing Program at the University of Melbourne; Dr Katherine Campbell, Psychologist; Dr Wendy Vanselow, women's health GP and sex therapist; Faith Agugu, founder of Silver Sirens.
Tue, 04 May 2021 - 28min - 210 - Fetish
What really turns you on? Getting your toes sucked? Latex? High-heeled shoes? Fetish is a word that can be overused without us really thinking about its meaning. Sexologist Dr Sarah Ashton helps us figure out what a fetish actually is, where fetishes come from and why it's A-OK to have one. We'll also find out what it's like to be the object of someone else's fetish.
Tue, 20 Apr 2021 - 25min - 209 - Introducing — Season 5 of Ladies, We Need To Talk
Ladies! Listen up: we're back and we've missed you! Join Yumi Stynes as she dives right in to all the taboo lady-business that women find tricky to talk about. Whether it's your fetish, what the hell happens to us in old age or dealing with the rage in our pelvis — Ladies, we've got your back. We love your feedback so please leave us a voicemail on 1300 641 222 or email ladies@abc.net.au. Follow Ladies, We Need To Talk now so you never miss an episode, oh, and tell ALL your girlfriends.
Tue, 13 Apr 2021 - 03min - 208 - The secret lives of vaginas
Sex, babies, periods, discharge. Our vaginas do a lot. But how well do you really know your vagina? Get comfy for a guided tour of your vagina with Dr Elizabeth O'Farrell. Plus, you'll meet Deanna, owner of possibly the world's most adventurous vagina, and Louise, who learnt something about her vagina at 53 that completely changed her life.
Tue, 20 Oct 2020 - 27min - 207 - To pube or not to pube
Pubic hair — it's one of the most scrutinised patches of hair on our bodies. Research says 80 per cent of women groom their hair regularly. But why? What's really behind our choices? Data journalist Mona Chalabi muses on the perceived link between women's pubes and our sanity. Podcaster Maeve Marsden and comedian Christina Zheng debate to pube or not to pube.
Tue, 06 Oct 2020 - 30min - 206 - Escaping monogamy
Monogamy is the default, but for lots of people it doesn't work. More and more people are actively looking for alternatives to monogamy, according to research. So why are many of us abandoning monogamy in favour of polyamorous and open relationships?
Tue, 22 Sep 2020 - 33min - 205 - How to break up well
It can take months or years to get through a breakup, and the fallout can be totally devastating. Whether it's money, legal stuff, kids, or all the feelings, we're giving you practical tools to break up well and flourish afterwards. Writer Zoe Foster Blake teaches us how we can keep our dignity in a breakup and see it as a 'gift'.
Tue, 08 Sep 2020 - 27min - 204 - Anal Sex — the biggest taboo
Warning: explicit content. One in five women in Australia has had anal sex. It's everywhere in porn and many of us, especially young women, are feeling the pressure to do it. It's uncomfortable discussing anal sex, so let's talk about it. Dr Nikki Goldstein sets out how to negotiate anal sex including consent and Professor Cicely Marston tells us how anal sex typically plays out for young people.
Tue, 25 Aug 2020 - 27min - 203 - Solving the mental load — update
A movement's begun to expose the mental load women shoulder. All that relentless, unpaid, thankless and invisible work women do. Naming it is powerful, right? But we want solutions! Author Eve Rodsky breaks down the mental load and teaches you how to spread the mental load more evenly with our partners — hallelujah!
Tue, 11 Aug 2020 - 29min - 202 - Emotional abuse
One in four Australian women have experienced emotional abuse from a partner. You don't get physically hurt, but psychologically it's devastating and it erodes your identity and trust in yourself. Hear from Investigative Journalist Jess Hill and Inez Carey from 1800 Respect about how you can recognize, and stop, emotional abuse.
Tue, 28 Jul 2020 - 32min - 201 - Clitoris 101
When most of us picture our clitoris, we think of it as being the size of a tiny jellybean. But sisters, your clitoris is so much more than that! It's going to blow your mind just how amazing the clitoris is. You'll hear from the woman who 'discovered' it, Australian doctor, Helen O'Connell.
Tue, 14 Jul 2020 - 27min - 200 - The answer's no
Women are pretty bad at saying no — we're socialised to please and serve others. Author of F*** No!, Sarah Knight, political commentator Jamilla Rizvi and emotional intelligence coach Rachel Green are going to teach you how to say no, and do it unapologetically.
Tue, 30 Jun 2020 - 31min - 199 - Propping up your partner
Caring for partners is something women do well and often. But what's the limit, how do you know if your support is causing more harm than good and how do you do it without sacrificing yourself? We speak to women propping up their partner through issues like depression, addiction and suicide. Lifeline: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: 1300 22 46 36 1800 Respect:1800 737 732
Tue, 16 Jun 2020 - 36min - 198 - Coronavirus — Are we panic buying partners?
You'd think a pandemic would stop all romance and the dating game. But it's seen an acceleration of relationships and romance as some single people panic bought partners like toilet paper. Ladies Producer Cassandra Steeth takes a look at love in the time of coronavirus and lets us peek into her new relationship too.
Tue, 09 Jun 2020 - 31min - 197 - The gender beauty gap
It's no secret women spend way more time, energy and hard-earned cash on our appearances than men do. But what else could we be firing our mental bullets at if we weren't so worried about what the hell we looked like? Researcher, Dr Phillipa Deidrichs, says the focus many of us place on what we see in the mirror is stopping us from fully functioning.
Tue, 02 Jun 2020 - 33min - 196 - A gender gap of pandemic proportions
Guess who is way worse off in pandemics? Yup — women. While we're leading the charge on the frontline by slogging away in jobs like nursing, teaching and aged care, our purses are copping a flogging now and into the future. More women than men have lost their jobs during this crisis and there are no prizes for picking who does the lion's share of home-schooling. COVID-19 is creating a gendered storm of pandemic proportions (sorry, we couldn't help ourselves). The good news is, other women are the ones helping us through this crisis. Gender inclusion commentator, Amy Haddad, says we have some very finely honed skills in just shovelling through shit. And, you know, we just keep on shovelling.
Tue, 19 May 2020 - 29min - 195 - The secrets we keep
Most of us have a secret we've never told anyone. Secrets are self-protective and universal, but some are hard to keep and impossible to share. If your secret is eating you up or has the propensity to blow up your entire life — should you share it? Are secrets better out than in? Dr Katie Greenaway says it depends. Psychotherapist Gillian Straker walks us through the shame some secrets bring and what kinds we're keeping from ourselves.
Tue, 05 May 2020 - 35min - 194 - 50-shades of erotic literature
What if you could read something that would radically change your sex life and your whole relationship dynamic? What if, a few pages could actually make you feel like sex with your long-term partner? Cue the case for erotic literature — the nerdy aphrodisiac you didn't know you needed. Low sex drive affects many of us, including Sally, who says erotica has increased her libido 10-fold. You'll also hear from Kate Cuthbert from the Victorian Writers Centre and Gina Gutierrez from an audio-erotica company on how erotica is evolving.
Tue, 21 Apr 2020 - 26min - 193 - Anxious? We got you
While one in three women will experience anxiety in normal circumstances, when COVID-19 hit, for many it was the first time they'd ever felt anxious. And for many of us, that feeling isn't going away because there's a lot to be anxious about - pandemics, climate change, money, kids and the list goes on. To help, we're revisiting an episode we did in season 2 in which Dr Charlotte Keating coaches us through climate change anxiety. Her advice is super relevant for if you're feeling anxious. Lifeline: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: 1300 22 46 36 Headspace: 1800 650 890
Tue, 07 Apr 2020 - 30min - 192 - Coronavirus — hot tips on how you can get through
Whether you're juggling working at home with kids or figuring out how to pay rent as a single mum after losing your job — life just got a whole lot tougher for women. Many women are on the front line of fighting coronavirus at home and self-isolation is feeling like total chaos. In the first episode of season 4 Yumi Stynes dives into your corona shitshow and talks with clinical psychologist Dr Jacqui Winship about ways you can make lockdown a little more bearable.
Fri, 03 Apr 2020 - 32min - 191 - BONUS — The concrete ceiling
You’ll have heard of the glass ceiling — the invisible barrier that stops women getting ahead at work. For women of colour, that ceiling is actually concrete. And while you can (sometimes) shatter a glass ceiling, the concrete ceiling is a much tougher barrier to smash. At a live recording of Ladies, We Need To Talk, Yumi Stynes speaks with a panel of brilliant women about what it’s like looking up at the concrete ceiling. Our guests were Professor Sujatha Fernandes, Shy Magsalin and Shyamla Eswaran. This episode is a part of the ABC’s Australia Talks project, which aims to find out what Australians are really thinking and feeling, and uses those findings to help us all learn something about each other.
Tue, 10 Dec 2019 - 33min - 190 - Ladies, we love your boobs
Boobies, tits, cans, your rack. Ladies, we want to celebrate your boobs. Despite what the beauty mags tell you, boobs come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big, some small, some are great at breastfeeding, others are not. Some women love their boobs, others get new ones. This episode talks about, and celebrates, all the boobs.
Tue, 05 Nov 2019 - 31min - 189 - Toxic mums
There’s a whole lot of mythology around the so-called sacred mother-daughter bond, but it isn’t always reality. Mumming is hard work. It’s a tonne of unpaid emotional and physical labour, and mums don’t always get it right. We speak to women who’ve navigated very fraught relationships with their mums.
Tue, 22 Oct 2019 - 32min - 188 - Sex after sexual assault
One in five Australian women over the age of 15 have experienced sexual violence. 1.4 million Australians have lived through childhood sexual abuse. So if that’s you, how do you find the courage to be intimate again? For this episode we speak to women who’ve struggled to have sex after sexual assault, and others who now have a healthy sex life. Life Line: 13 11 14 1800 Respect: 1800 737 732
Tue, 08 Oct 2019 - 30min - 187 - Sexually transmitted isolation
Around four million Australians have had an STI at some point in their life, but who ever talks about it? STI’s are shrouded in loads of shame, secrecy and regret. And it’s not just young people getting them — women in their 30s and 40s get them too. In fact, the number of older people getting them is actually growing. We smash the stigma and learn that women living with an STI aren’t alone.
Tue, 24 Sep 2019 - 29min - 186 - Walking away from your kids — update
Women are still expected to be primary caregivers — but what happens when they choose to walk away from this role? In season one we heard from women who "broke the motherhood contract". They were no longer living with their kids and felt society judged them harshly for it. We check back in to see how those women are going now.
Tue, 10 Sep 2019 - 27min - 185 - How to make friends as an adult
At a certain point in life, making friends gets trickier and feels super awkward. Many of us want and need new friends though — so how do you do it? At a live recording of Ladies, We Need To Talk, Yumi Stynes and a panel of amazing women chat about why having good friends is so important and give advice for making new ones.
Tue, 27 Aug 2019 - 34min - 184 - The patriarchy of poo
Do you feel embarrassed if you have to poo in public? You're not alone. Whether it's poo, farts, discharge or sweat — women are constantly self-conscious about our odour because it's considered 'unladylike' to smell. But if everyone on the planet needs to poo to survive, why do we have such poo shame? And if poo is on top of the list of things we feel awkward talking about, how do we know when something's going wrong with our bowels? So, Ladies, let's talk about poo.
Tue, 13 Aug 2019 - 29min - 183 - Esther Perel — how to have a hard conversation
How do you tell a mate your friendship isn't working? Or a partner you can't stand the way they kiss? Hard conversations are tough to have but sometimes necessary. Psychotherapist Esther Perel is the world's best known couples counsellor and she gives Yumi a lesson on how to navigate difficult conversations.
Tue, 30 Jul 2019 - 32min - 182 - Birth control — choose your own adventure
We're totally spoilt for choice when it comes to birth control. There are 12 different types of contraception to choose from and about 30 different brands of the pill. Having all these options is awesome, but how do you know you've chosen the right one for you?
Tue, 16 Jul 2019 - 32min - 181 - Stone cold sober — alcohol update
In season one, we looked at why so many Australian women drink at risky levels. Yumi Stynes revealed her battle with drinking and quit alcohol. We also met Jo, who drank at really risky levels. This episode, we check back in, to see how they're going, plus show you how to cut down your drinking if you'd like to sub the wine for kombucha.
Tue, 02 Jul 2019 - 35min - 180 - Footloose and childfree
Grow up, find a partner, have kids — we’ve been doing it for thousands of years. But more and more women are choosing to ignore that path. And the latest research says they’re actually happier for it. So why do we judge women without kids?
Tue, 18 Jun 2019 - 29min - 179 - Body image — why do we hate our bodies?
Have you ever felt like a massive failure when you've looked in the mirror or felt depressed about the size of your thighs? You're not alone — research says almost 80 per cent of Australian women are unhappy with their weight. And nearly one million Australians have an eating disorder, most of them, women. What can we do to feel better about our bodies?
Tue, 04 Jun 2019 - 33min - 178 - Discharge — the gooey taboo
Lots of women are really self-conscious about the way their vaginas smell. We quickly hide our undies the second we take them off and up to a third of us wear a panty liner every day. But how much do you actually know about discharge? What should it smell like? What should it look like? And should we just stop dissing our discharge?
Tue, 21 May 2019 - 22min - 177 - Abortion — beyond the stereotype
If you’re in your 30s and have had an abortion or are going to, you’re not going through it alone. It’s a myth that only the young and reckless have abortions. The stats show that older women, and those who already have kids, are having more abortions in Australia than teenagers. So if they’re the facts, why is abortion shrouded in shame, judgement and silence for older women?
Tue, 07 May 2019 - 32min - 176 - When bad sex is your life
We’ve all got a bad sex story. The partner who’s selfish in the sack. The horribly uninspiring one-night stand. The lover with 'performance anxiety'. Most of us have been there. There’s this idea though that we grow out of it — that we all get better at 'doing it' as we get older. But what if that doesn’t happen? What if bad sex is your life?
Tue, 23 Apr 2019 - 33min - 175 - INTRODUCING — Series 3 of Ladies, We Need To Talk
We're back! Join Yumi Stynes as she once again tears open the sealed section on life to talk all about your forbidden lady business. This is the podcast where we can confess all our secret ladies' stuff and learn something along the way. So, whether it's your discharge, what you use for birth control, or how you can make a new friend ... we're here for you! Ring us on 1300 641 222 or email ladies@abc.net.au. Subscribe now so you never miss an episode.
Tue, 09 Apr 2019 - 03min - 174 - Ladies, we love you
You trusted us with some of your deepest, darkest and most intimate secrets and you let us share them with the podcast universe. For our final episode of 2018, we check in with the women we’ve met and hear from YOU about what you’ve learnt.
Tue, 06 Nov 2018 - 30min - 173 - Anxious much?
Everyone gets a little bit anxious at times, but is what you’re feeling normal? Anxiety is the most common mental health issue in Australia. Up to one in three women will experience anxiety, for men it’s one in five. So why are women going through this? And if you are, what can you do about it? Crisis lines Lifeline on 13 11 14 Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800 MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978 Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36 Headspace on 1800 650 890 QLife on 1800 184 527 Chat services Elefriends Sane eHeadspace Beyondblue
Tue, 23 Oct 2018 - 29min - 172 - Perimenopause — coming to a uterus near you
Sore boobs, loss of libido, hot flushes, irregular periods. Sound familiar? While you may think you’ll only experience these symptoms when you’re of a 'certain age' and hitting menopause, it turns out, they can creep in way earlier. Welcome to perimenopause! And if you think that’s years down the track, think again.
Tue, 09 Oct 2018 - 30min - 171 - Mean girls — our secret sexism
How often have you casually heard the terms "bitch" or "mean girl" being used to describe another woman? And, be honest, how often have you used them? In a world where we’re sold the idea that women constantly compete, compare and undermine each other, what are the invisible forces that shape the way we treat each other? And how can we stop, and strengthen the sisterhood instead?
Tue, 25 Sep 2018 - 28min - 170 - The secret life of hormones
Every month you go on a hormonal rollercoaster but most of us ride it blindfolded. Reproductive hormones control ovulation but they can also affect how you think. Oestrogen can make you feel fantastic, while progesterone can make you feel crappy. And for women who are hormonally sensitive, this rollercoaster can feel like a freefall.
Tue, 11 Sep 2018 - 30min - 169 - When sex hurts
Sex that feels like your vagina is about to tear open isn’t exactly dinner party conversation, but it’s common. One in five women experience painful sex, according to a study by the University of NSW.
Tue, 28 Aug 2018 - 31min - 168 - Obsession with youth
If we are intelligent, ambitious and capable women, why are we still judged by the way we look? The Australasian College of Cosmetic Surgery estimates that Australians spend around $1 billion a year on cosmetic procedures. Most of that is spent on botox and fillers. So if we’re spending so much money on looking young, are we complicit in society’s obsession with youth?
Tue, 14 Aug 2018 - 30min - 167 - Settling for average
A healthy relationship is meant to feel like a warm hug from your mum after about a year, according to psychologists. But if your partner doesn’t feel like your perfect soul mate all the time, you might feel like you settled for something you didn’t sign up to. So does 'settling' exist or is it just a reality of long-term monogamy?
Tue, 31 Jul 2018 - 27min - 166 - Ladies Live — closing the orgasm gap
Women don’t orgasm as often as men during sex. A US study of 50,000 people found 95% of men orgasm during sex, but only 65 per cent of straight women do.
Tue, 17 Jul 2018 - 32min - 165 - The pelvic flaw in all of us
Do you wee when you sneeze? Or avoid star jumps at the gym? One in four of us experience pelvic floor problems which can lead to incontinence, or even prolapse.
Tue, 03 Jul 2018 - 27min - 164 - Foreplay — getting what you want
When was the last time you talked about foreplay? Women tend to need more foreplay than men — so if your partner’s just a bit crap at foreplay — get them to listen to this. We talk to psychotherapist Esther Perel and a bunch of brilliant female experts about their best foreplay tips.
Tue, 19 Jun 2018 - 26min
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