ChinesePod - Beginner

The Chinese word for "gardener" can also mean "teacher." Extending the metaphor, we can see our poddies as beautiful flowers, ready for their daily dose of ChinesePod's water of wisdom. That is, unless you're one of those rare students who thinks our podcasts are a lot of manure! Still, even manure helps things grow... Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1078

You may not be strutting on the catwalk, but your significant other is working it tonight! With this lesson, you can let everyone in the room know, hey... she's with me! And you'll do it in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0913

Have you ever been on the receiving or giving end of 'Happiness Candy'? In today's lesson you'll learn how to congratulate newlyweds in Mandarin, and also get to know when people are asking subtle personal questions about your marital status. So without further ado let's eat some Chinese 'Happiness Candy'. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1073

A square, you say? Touring a rectangle seems a little more stimulating, perhaps? This is not just any four-sided box. This is the center of Beijing. A place full of history and full of people. Now it's so big, you may just stumble across it, but we're thinking you might need a little more help. Since you've already learned where Changan Jie is from Pimsleur, let ChinesePod take you the rest of the way, in this Mandarin lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0909

Today's Chinese lesson is a power-play. If you get too fond of your air-conditioner, you'll end up with a sky-high electricity bill. As you fork over that big stack of RMB, learn how to blame your roommate in Mandarin Chinese! Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1068

The Shanghai bar scene starts with happy hour, but you won’t get the invite if you can’t tell the crew what time you get off work…and you won’t be able to bow out of taking early morning baijiu shots unless you can moan about what time you have to go in the next day… All this can be solved if you listen to this podcast on working time, in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0904

These days, there's a button for everything. Buttons help you make your coffee, turn on your computer to get your ChinesePod lesson...there are even buttons to bring on Doomsday! Listen to today's podcast and learn to talk about this touchy subject in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1066

Dandy, aren’t we? With that custom-made suit you got made here, you’re bound to turn some heads. In this podcast, ward off a wandering eye and learn to say you are married, in Mandarin Chinese. Ahem…your spouse did ask us to teach you how to speak about being spoken for. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0899

In the old days, Western kids wanted to "Be Like Mike." Chinese kids wanted to "Be Like Comrade Lei Feng." In today's podcast, learn about this ultimate do-gooder. He's a role model for communists and capitalist-running-dogs alike. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1055

“Call me at the office when you land,” your friend says. So you do… He's not in. Now unless you actually envied Tom Hanks in “The Terminal,” you might want to learn a little phone Mandarin. In this podcast you will learn how to deal with a "bu zai" in Chinese, thereby avoiding the prospect of spending the night on a luggage cart. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0891

Here's a lesson on Sign Language. In this podcast, you'll learn how to sneakily figure out people's age, based on the twelve-year Chinese zodiac. And do it all in Mandarin! Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1051

So, you’ve used our lessons to land the big contract (we’d like a cut), and all you have to do is meet at their office. Who knew your western GPS wouldn’t work in Asia?! What are you going to do now, G.G. Ross? Can we suggest a lesson on using Mandarin to find out where you are going? In the unlikely event of losing your way, find it in this podcast. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0890

If you've ever had reservations about eating out in China, this is the Chinese podcast for you! Grab a seat and learn how to book a table in Mandarin. I'll meet you anytime you want, in our Sichuanese restaurant. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1046

The hottest plastic surgery technique to hit China is the surgical removal of mobile phones from the ear. Though it's convenient having it so attached, with the onset of bluetooth technology, more and more young Chinese are opting for removal. So... you’re going to speak Chinese... how better to act Chinese?! Dial that mobile phone and don't ever get off of it. Learn how to do it in Mandarin in this podcast. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0884

For those amongst us who have taken it upon themselves to provide community service in the form of 'Line Management Consulting and Enforcement' and hope to leave a trail of orderly lines behind as their legacy, we provide this podcast. Learn how to confront the offender and whip that line into shape, in Chinese. Today, line-ups... tomorrow, subway cars... Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1037

The hills are alive with the sound of the pipa. Singing in China... rife in KTV bars, on street corners, in public parks, in low-budget questionably-directed lip-dub videos. Dancing.. though it's singing's less popular cousin, look out for the classy ballroom dancers in a lit up corner of the park on a cool summer evening. In this podcast, the language of music transcends. Learn it in this Mandarin lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0880

Perhaps you could have traveled a little lighter, in retrospect. But the fake LV suitcases came in such a beautiful set and they match your outfit so well, it would have been a shame to exclude any of them from the journey, no? In this podcast, learn freedom from sore arms, broken suitcase wheels, and marital discord. Learn how to check your luggage with the hotel, in Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1033

Your place is a mess? Didn't make your bed this morning? Get those dirty clothes off the floor and stack those dishes you were leaving for the Ayi... Guess what? We're finding out where you call home and we're coming over! In this podcast, get ready to reveal all and open your door to someone other than your nosy neighbors! Learn how to say where you live, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0877

Everybody needs a little time away... and in this podcast you're going to learn how to ask for it in Chinese. With the plethora of guests you're going to be fielding in your new found home away from home, chances are this will be high-frequency vocab for you. So listen in and learn... and get ready for your new favorite hobby: tour guide. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1030

If only Dr. Seuss had learned Chinese, children China-over could have had a new chant to repeat after their teachers. "Haohao xuexi, tiantian xiangsheng" could have gotten a lot more fun. Now, listen to Dr. Zhu's version of the classic, 'The Mao in the Mao.' Learn this little story all over again, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0872

There are a few ways of dealing with getting stopped at an apartment complex gate. There is the 'tunnel vision' technique. To truly perfect this skill you must be on a bicycle to facilitate quick getaways and be immune to yelled threats. Another technique is the 'dense foreigner' skill. No explanation needed. Finally, there is the 'listen to the ChinesePod podcast' technique, highly recommended and transferable to any third degree grilling, Chinese or not. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1023

This is the formal introduction to the formal introduction lesson: You've mastered your Chinese hello and don't know what to do with that awkward silence. Now what? 1) Lose any sentimental attachment to your previous identity--you're going to need a new name. 2) Smile, bow, handshake, kiss, twiddle your thumbs, or curtsy... it's all good. Oh yeah, and 3) listen to this lesson to learn how to introduce yourself, Mandarin-style. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0868

Last time this happened you were busted for having fake ID, and robbed of your chance at an illicit beer-enhanced evening. No, they don't think you're under 21 anymore, but you can tell yourself that if you're having a late-twenties crisis. The China internet cafe ID check. Don't ask why, just bring your passport, listen to this podcast, and stay away from anything your momma wouldn't want you looking at. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0992

Thirty days has September... April, June, and November. All the rest... are so easy you won't even need a rhyme. In this podcast, learn the months of the year in Mandarin Chinese. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3....4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0864

You have an inkling from a post-packing teeter on the bathroom scale that your baggage may be overweight. Your only hope to avoid overweight fees is charming that handsome check-in clerk with a batting of eyes and barrage of Chinese. That, or employing strategic passport placement to cover the scale display numbers. In this lesson, use your Mandarin to check-in your bags and curry some bulkhead seat favors. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0988

There are two methods for learning the days of the week in Chinese. One: this podcast. Two: personalized Chinese days of the week undies. Since the latter seem to be the one eighties fad that has yet to be resurrected, this podcast might be the easier way to get them in your head. And creates less laundry. Listen in and learn, it's as easy as 1, 2, 3... 4, 5, 6, 7. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0860

Good things come in threes. Case in point: watch, bag, DVD. In this case: keys, wallet, phone. All good things, and good things to remember to bring with you when you leave the house. In this podcast, learn how to do a Mandarin Chinese mental checklist before leaving the house, to make sure that you don't end up locked out, penniless and searching in vain for a germy public phone on a borrowed dime. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0985

Could it be key to the Chinese ability to eat three oil saturated meals a day and maintain their girlish (or boyish) figures? No. Trust us. Even the fruit salad comes with mayonnaise. Your western genes weren't made for this diet. So listen to this Mandarin lesson on eating fruit salad and come prepared with loose pants. Make peace with your paunch and revel in the Buddha belly noogies given by admiring locals. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0856

In China, there aren't really that many dogs around to be afraid of, but a good chunk of the population has a paralyzing fear of dogs. This lesson will help you learn the Chinese to deal with that fear. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0980

The Chinese claim to have discovered the key to a long life... eating noodles on your birthday. While they struggle for immortality, you the Newbie can start with a little mortality, and learn how to order some in Mandarin. Your own struggle may have less to do with life and more to do with slippery wetness and chopstick management, but at least you won't starve awaiting your next birthday. Long live the noodle. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0852

Sure, we've all got our skeletons in the closet. It's just when someone opens the door that we get a little red in the face. In today's podcast, the boss makes a slightly uncomfortable discovery. Should you find yourself entangled in a little 'office scandal,' listen to this podcast to learn how to get yourself out of it! In Chinese! Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0972

In the hierarchy of language learning, there are the 'haves' and the 'havenots.' The 'haves' are those that know how to ask for something. The 'havenot' is that guy over there wildly gesturing, grunting, pointing and flailing at the laoban. In China, of course, as a 'have', you may find you can't always get what you want; but if you try you can get what you need... by listening to this Mandarin lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0849

The first cuddly creature to be used in a diplomatic capacity. A country full of bamboo to eat its way through. In its stuffed animal capacity, the first bear to give teddy a run for its money. The bear that seemingly has it all still wants more. Find out the panda's secret wish in this Mandarin Chinese lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0964

You've arrived, and want to fit in, so start with the national Chinese pastime: cell phone talking (well, it's better than taking up smoking). First, you're going to need a partner in conversation, so pull out one of those linty business cards you shoved in your pocket days ago, any one will do. If you can't read it, no problem, chances are his name is Mr. Li. Now, plug in this lesson and you're set... pick up the phone and pray he's not in. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0844

You've always had a secret affinity for borscht, and a secret compulsion to buy nesting dolls at neighborhood garage sales. Enter this lesson, where we transport you to the land that gave us Zhivago, caviar, perogie-making babushkas (bless their souls), and huge fur hat sporting dedushkas. Get ready to warm yourself from the insides out with a vodka-filled journey in Mandarin Chinese to Moscow. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0930

Answering the question "Can you speak Chinese?" in the affirmative is always a proud moment. Perhaps, yes, literally, one moment. Let's call the inevitable next moment, with its subsequent barrage of language, ear assault. But hey, you're already ahead of the game because you have this podcast to learn the art of how to keep the Mandarin flowing, and you have and will perfect the invaluable fake 'i understand' head nod. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0840

Perhaps best known for remarkable food items such as spicy smelly preserved vegetables and some 'alternative' meats, this capital of Korea is known for a lot more than than its eating. Learn in this lesson about the city of Seoul. A place of delicious food, friendly people, and facelifts. This place has it all! Learn about it in this podcast, in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0902

Discovering these 800-plus podcast lessons, likely you've been up for days, listening. You're not tired yet, due to the language-learning high that doesn't wear off until after lesson 452. However, a language full of sh's has been known to produce a trance-like sleepy state. The cure: just turn up the volume and let this podcast wake you up. Learn how to talk tired, in Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0836

We've got the Summer Palace; they've got Versailles. We've got Shaolin Temple; they've got Notre Dame. They've got stinky cheese; we've got stinky tofu. They, eau de toilette; us, squat toilettes. We're the Paris of the east; they're... Paris. In this podcast, learn about the city of romance and fall in love with it all over again in your new passion... Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0866

Reports churning out of celebrity Los Angeles have sparked concern over the latest anti-aging fad: drinking of the tears of young Asian girls. We, Chinese-English speakers of the world all have a responsibility to prevent the cruelty of tear harvesting from taking place. Band together and learn in this podcast how to tell someone to stop crying, and force those movie stars to go back to botox. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0829

08-08-2008. The day we've all been waiting for. The factories are closed, the cars are parked away. The buildings are ready, the skies are blue (hopefully). The world has arrived in Beijing and we at ChinesePod are here to cheer everyone on. Jiayou Olympics. Jiayou China. Listen to this podcast and celebrate the opening of the 2008 Summer Olympic Games in Beijing with us. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0961

Little did you know when you started learning Mandarin that you would be placed in the thick of an age-old war of 'where' words. Decide which camp has your allegiance--the roll of your tongue 'nar,' favorite of Beijing cabbies and northern ayis. Or 'nali,' a lighter, double-syllable approach to the oft-asked location query. You're gonna need this podcast and a 'nar/nali' support group to help, so listen in and make your stand on where you stand, in Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0825

The debate over who invented this game is not as heated as the one about who invented the noodle, thankfully. Perhaps the noodle debate could be settled for all time by a nice round of rock, scissors, paper... or was it cloth? Either way, next time you're in a quandary, learn how to settle it in this Mandarin Chinese lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0960

Contrary to popular notions, no, we're not all Americans. The nationality guessing game: favorite exchange of bored cabbies and their captive audience passengers. Expressing nationality in Mandarin Chinese is not hard--unless you are Azerbaijani, Djiboutian, or hail from the Republic of Vanuatu, and even then a bit of research and transliteration gymnastics will do the trick. Listen to this podcast and learn how to reclaim your identity. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0821

We assume you will never be a foreign soldier in a Chinese army, and sincerely hope that world peace is attained and this lesson will soon be obsolete. However, after 955 lessons it was about time that we taught you how to 'charge' in Mandarin. Don't forget that this vocabulary can also be applied in your battle for daily subway survival. Listen in and learn how to be a brave soldier, in Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0956

When faced with the 'Do Chinese people really say ni hao ma or are they just succumbing to Englese' quandary, here is a lesson you can use to circumvent these deep unanswerable how-are-you-dilemmas. An alternative greeting option in Mandarin. In this podcast, learn how to ask after a peep in all new exciting ways. And special bonus--two ambiguous answers in one dialogue. Do the Chinese know how to evade, or what? Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0816

A little name-dropping serves one well in many environments. 'Brad Pitt' is just too long to say in Chinese, so let's start with a more business-oriented angle first. You may recognize your nosy neighbor in the conversation that follows. And, if you really want to impress him, throw in a little of your buddy 'Bill Gates' and you'll be the envy of all the 'hood. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0952

At this juncture, we know some of you bespectacled types are going to show-off your 4,000 character-plus savvy and say you read the Chinese newspaper. This lesson, however, is about options. Some of us lazy types just want to know what's going on in the world, without losing our eyesight over morning coffee. In this podcast, learn how to ask for your preference of the daily news, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0812

Olive-ball may not be big in China, but in Laowai land it is. English, American and Aussie styles may differ quite a bit, but they all hold the same potential for a lovers' spat on a lazy weekend afternoon. Couch, beer, game... or... wife, mall, shopping. In this podcast, our sports fan finds himself in this volatile situation. Listen in to see how he handles it, in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0948

The concept of green eggs is not one so particularly far-fetched in China. Could a 1,000 year old egg be any other color? Sam-I-am has found his place in the sun. In this podcast, green eggs and ham revisited with a Chinese bent--fried rice as their companion. With a mouse, in a house, on the train... yeah, pretty much anywhere. Expand your Mandarin palate with this lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0808

"So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama... " If Carl the grounds-keeper can make it down to China to play a round of golf, so can you. But you'll need the lingo, and that is where we come in. After this lesson, you'll be equipped to tell one of your three caddies when you want the driver or the iron, in Mandarin. So you've got that goin’ for ya, which is nice. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0941

If we were slangpod.com, this lesson would be called 'whattup.' But for the sake of warding off potential improper English critics, we'll stick to the Queen's English just this once. Enough about English, what about Chinese? How do you greet your peeps? Listen in to this podcast and get the lingo down, bro, in Mandarin. Word. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0804

Today a little musical interlude for your listening pleasure. This ain't no muzac, nor is it out of tune KTV. On the other hand, it isn't Coldplay nor is it S.H.E. This podcast is a ChinesePod gig that's gonna make the Grammy's come a knockin'. Listen here as we toot our own horn and play a little ditty on a few instruments of choice. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0937

Now that 2008 has been declared the "International Year of Languages" by the UN, it's time to buckle down and study Mandarin for world peace. Start with this podcast and learn how to understand your teacher so you don't end up in the detention hall because you confused 'sit down and shut up' with 'stand up and sing a Chinese rendition of 'Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.' Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0800

No, this isn't the mid-evening call soliciting those 'other' services provided at certain questionable establishments... this is the all important, rip you from the womb of your 400 count Egyptian cotton fluffy feather pillowed bliss morning call. Now, you're gonna want to make sure your Chinese '4' pronunciation is tiptop before attempting this feat, should you have an early morning flight. Listen to this podcast and be sure to be the niao that catches the worm. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0926

The humble soup. Brought to life by a symphony of slurps... worthy enough to elevate eating to an oral concerto. In this podcast, get 'drinking' with a Chinese lesson to teach you to embrace, celebrate, and justify mouth noise. Take it from us and start gulping--table manners are sooooo passé. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0796

The Mr. Noodles rage that swept elementary schools in the 80s (crunchy raw with seasoning packet sprinkled on top) doesn't hold a candle to Chinese people's love affair with this quick lunch. Nutritional value: no. Great taste: debatable. Cheap and easy: of course. The recipe for any well-loved Chinese meal. Get your soup on in this podcast, and get yourself some instant noodles, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0920

No, we are not talking about the Ron Burgundy type of class, we are talking about the kind you go to...or at least supposed to go to. So don't skip class, and definitely don't skip this podcast. You will slowly become as wise as a miniature Buddha with yet another Chinese lesson under your belt. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0793

If you think the people all look alike, wait until you see the luggage coming out of the conveyor belt. Apparently 394 of the 395 other passengers bought their black $15 'Samsonite' luggage from the same Pearl Market back alley. Mistaken luggage identity crisis.... what to do? Find it or not, fear not... there's more luggage where that came from... and underwear shops... and Chinese lesson podcasts to get you there. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0915

Oft over looked due to its timid tone and quiet presence, this Mandarin Chinese tone is anything but passive. In this podcast, we visit the sometimes forgotten and difficult to define tone that makes love, not war... impartially takes no sides and conscientiously objects to raising its voice. Its only flaw is perhaps a slight tendency toward wimpiness, but hey it'll never get in your face... the neutral tone. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0788

You've been stuck on city streets too long. Lace up your shoes, point in the direction of trees, and trade in red China for green with this podcast on hiking. Whether it's the trails of Yangming Shan, the pseudo-hills of She Shan, or the dizzying cliffs of Huang Shan, explore the woods that inspired the Chinese painters and poets of old, and see the China behind the bustle Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0907

Here we arrive at the last stage in the rise and fall of the four tones of Mandarin Chinese, and poor fourth is a bit of an enigma. Due to his angry tone of voice and overbearing sharpness, some find it hard to get to know him. In this podcast, we peel back the layers and help fourth tone make peace with his inner child. He's not mad, just misunderstood. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0784

The apparatus may be the same. The venue, similar--give or take a few trees. The wafts of the mouth-watering scent of roasting flesh. You begin to reminisce over the long days of summers past-- replete with hot dogs, steak, jacket potatoes... but WAIT. What do you see... whaaat the... Yes, the medium is the same, but the materials are very, very different. Listen to this podcast and learn about Chinese barbecue. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0898

The third tone is basically the middle child of the Mandarin line-up. It gets abused like a red-headed step child. Sometimes it's third, sometimes it gets ridden roughshod by second tone, and sometimes it straps a fourth tone on for good times. Third tone suffers from low self-esteem and is still trying to find its true self. Listen to this podcast and give the third tone the love it missed out on as a child. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0780

Yeaaaah, you've been known to chang a little ge when no one is around. So, stop the bashful act... have a few beers if that helps... and get your KTV on. Select a forgotten 80s tune (Purple Rain is a rousing melody), turn on the reverb. Wrestle the microphone from your partner in song, and see a side of the Chinese you never knew existed. Listen to this podcast and learn how to join in, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0892

Of all the tones, the second tone is the most exciting. It's a rising tone. Don't get too charged up though, we don't want to turn it in to a fourth tone just yet, we want to make this last. Listen to this podcast and learn all about the second tone of Mandarin Chinese as it ascends to its rousing climax. Just try not to wake the neighbors. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0775

Watch, bag, DVD... Watch, bag, DVD... Watch, bag, DVD... Watch, bag, DVD... Watch, bag, DVD... Watch, bag, DVD... Watch, bag, DVD... need we say more? No. Need they say more? Please no. But how to get them to stooooop?? Listen to this podcast, and learn how to refuse, in Mandarin. Then again, maybe just a little peek wouldn't hurt... Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0885

The alpha, the genesis, dongxi numero uno. All the other tones wish they were this high, but without the other tones, we wouldn't know how supreme the first tone actually is. That's the existential truth of tonal relativity. The first tone in history to get its very own podcast, and the only tone that's phonetically represented by its Chinese character--learn about it in this lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0769

Your last Chinese dining experience has left you with a little post-traumatic stress, yes, but let us assure you that that toothsome slimy black ball you just sucked up your straw was NOT a fish eye. Or fish egg for that matter. Was it a drink, a food, or an unidentifiable glutinous object? You be the judge. Learn what it is and how to get some gluey goodness in Mandarin in this podcast. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0882

Sometimes bathroom stalls in China don't have doors on them. Though this may seem shocking to some, it's quite convenient when faced with the dilemma of whether to push the door open to potential stall going-ons, or not. But for those more uncertain times, when you are blocked by those troublesome stall doors, here is a Mandarin Chinese lesson that will help you to rouse any occupants before you waltz in to do your business. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0765

No, ChinesePod has not sold out. We have not succumbed to target marketing, multinational corporate conspiracies, nor do we endorse one cola over another (though in the blind taste test challenge, admittedly, had a favorite). This lesson is simply for those of us who want a Diet Coke. Here's how to get one, in Mandarin. Of course, as a personal favor... you could machine-gun click the play button a few times. You know... royalties... Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0870

Your doctor tells you to quit, the surgeon general's cancer warning on the pack kinda freaks you out, but the artist in you can't get those wispy smoke-filled 'In the Mood for Love' scenes out of your mind. You didn't come to the only place on the planet where smoking in pubs hasn't been banned yet for no reason. This is your last hurrah. In this podcast, learn how to bum a cigarette from a stranger in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0760

Oops sorry i bumped into you, oops excuse me my umbrella hit your eye, oops I opened the car door into you, oops, oh no, I wiped my baozi juice on your sleeve. In a place like this, accidents will happen. When 'sorry' is getting old and 'buhaoyisi' feels a bit long-winded, learn how to plead innocence in Mandarin Chinese in this podcast. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0862

It's only been rumored to have ever happened in this city once, and that was from a Canadian tourist who was visiting from the Niagara falls region, and to this day we haven't found any witnesses to confirm this ever took place. In this podcast, a model lesson in Mandarin Chinese from a model world where chivalry is not dead. And if it's not dead... someway, somehow, somewhere, it could happen to you too... Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0756

Don't worry if that old hamstring injury dashed your Olympic dreams of bringing glory to your nation... do what Da Shan did... put on a blue silk Chinese suit and make your Mandarin so annoyingly good that you make your otherwise unassuming country famous. No steroids required. Go for gold, of the Mandarin variety, in this Olympic lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0854

The unending feud between those annoying morning people and their alter-egos, the 'night cats' comes to a Chinese lesson today. Listen in as pre-noon takes on post-noon, chipper good mornings take on groggy good afternoons. Listen and learn in Mandarin how to do battle for control of the alarm clock setting.

All good stories have to come to an end, including the saga of our friend Yang Jie. She kinda got sick of writing, as diary-keepers usually do. Plus, we were starting to feel like creeps, slinking into her room every night to sneak a peek. In this podcast, find out how things turn out for Yang Jie and co-stars. How do you say in Chinese: "She's not that into you..." Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0847

Open the lights and turn off the door, er, I mean, turn on the lights and close the door... why is this so confusing? Just get in here and pretend you love me. Close the lights if you have to. In this podcast, a Mandarin Chinese lesson on how to turn on/off the lights. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0744

Today is Tomb Sweeping Day. The special day of paying respect to ancestors, lighting incense, making burnt offerings, and, like any self-respecting Chinese holiday... lighting off firecrackers. The holiday also favored by those with money to burn. So open up your wallet, light up your money, and listen to this podcast to learn more in Mandarin about the traditions of tomb sweeping. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0842

Oh, look at him. He's a cross between Tony Leung and a young Ken Carroll. No, more like Chow Yun Fat meets John Pasden. Those are the handsome boys in this neck of the woods... how about yours? Listen to this podcast and learn how to talk about them, in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0737

Being a new language student, everyday can feel like Fool's Day, so think of today as a day to celebrate fools. Take your turn laughing at someone else. Pull the worst fool-causing prank you can, and spend the next year reliving it during those moments of Mandarin learning mortification. In this podcast, we help, with the ole not-so-original but oh-so-easy-to-pull-off Chinese 'hot-sauce-in-your-food' prank. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0838

Though they scare us, rip us off at times, and don’t wash the white seat covers nearly enough, there’s nothing like the vindication of winning the taxi battle and claiming your prize of a ride home. This lesson reminds us of all the times we almost wanted to kiss the taxi driver that finally stopped for us on a rainy day. Listen and learn how to snag your taxi, in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0732

Everyone knows there are a lot of fakes in China. Fake prada, fake watches, fake art students... yes, those too. So stay away from those sweet looking Nanjing Lu predators, and stick to the real art museums of China. Where treasures of jade bok choy and 50,000 renditions of West Lake lie awaiting your discovery. Educate yourself, art-wise and Mandarin-wise, in this lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0833

No, it's not a lesson on CB radio lingo, good buddy. Rather, it's those pesky Chinese tones again. In this podcast, a Mandarin lesson to dissect the difference in sound between the perfect 10 and oft-maligned 4. Listen in, and you'll be blowing them away with the 'forty lions' tongue twister at the next game show that comes your way. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0728

Babe Ruth barnstormed in Shanghai, and MLB says baseball was the "unofficial sport" of the People's Liberation Army in the 1940's. But 60 years later, only five Mandarin swinging ball players have made it to the big leagues, all coming from the talent pools of Taiwan. Opening day is 'round the corner, so listen to this podcast and take a swing at this lesson on "fat-big-chunky-piece-of-stick ball". Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0830

Some people are addicted to coke, others to crystal meth, but for the Chinese, the white powder of choice is none other than MSG. True, the MSG high leads to jacked up tasting pleasure, but if you want to avoid the crash, you might want to ‘just say no.’ Listen to this podcast to learn how--do your part in the War on MSG. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0724

Whether you've headed to this lesson because you're feeling a little lethargic in your study efforts, or because the idea of a cheerleader egging you on brings you some sort of post-jock high school flashback comfort, you're sure to gain a little spring in your step. Listen to this podcast when you're feeling down--Jenny will wave her pompoms and teach you to study Mandarin and not give up. Jiayou everybody! Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0827

Just when you learned the Chinese word for 'key', technology had to come in and mess it all up for you. In this podcast, check-in to your hotel with us, in Mandarin, and feel the sense of accomplishment of finding your room, all in Chinese! Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0721

In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet....Ken Carroll!?? Whilst Ken may not be as hot as Molly Malone, he certainly knows his way about Dublin. Listen to the Sino-Irish man himself as he takes you on a Mandarin Chinese tour through the streets of the capital of Ireland with all its pubs, pints, and...eh... leprechauns. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0823

The visions you're having of glistening bacon and bottomless coffee might very soon be dashed. A lumpy curdled bowl of soy product and noodles a la oil don't appeal at 7:00 am? Wait till you taste... you just might come over to the Chinese side of breaky. This ain't no mini-wheats. 5,000 years in the development, learn in this podcast how to eat breakfast, China-style. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0717

The 'Warring Bills' period of Chinese history is officially over for all ChinesePod users. An international treating treaty has been declared, and it involves a handy little phrase that will be an instrument in achieving restaurant check peace. Listen to this podcast to learn what it is, and make your contribution to world Chinese dinner table harmony. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0819

Granted, the 'you're tall' compliments have gotten fewer and farther between since Yao Ming had to come on the scene and wreck it for all of us. However, you can still milk some around here... just get some high heeled boots. Listen to this podcast, which will teach you not only to tell someone your height, in Mandarin Chinese, but also teach all you imperialists to think metric. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0713

We are not talking about the starting time of your own athletic competition... the last of which was probably field day at your junior high school where you took home the purple "honorable mention" ribbons in every event you entered. We are talking about the best athletes in the world, and they are going to be here in China before you know it. So sit back in your lazy boy, grab some Cheetos and a cold one, and listen to this here podcast. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0814

Mouths were intended to be used for so much more than speaking Chinese. Sometimes the language of love communicates better than the best vocabulary, so it never hurts to get a little lip service... In this podcast, get smoochy-smoochy with us and learn to ask for a kiss, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0709

You've camped out for U2 tickets, queued for boxing day sales... but the bank? Waiting outside the bank before it opens is a national pastime and community social event in China. So take your number (ah, so this is why they line up at the screech of dawn), take a seat and hunker down for your lesson in patience. While you wait, listen to this podcast on bank hours in Chinese and secure your teller time. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0801

The kind host refilling your tea for the twenty-fourth time is indeed generous, but for those of us with TB (tiny bladder), we just might need to learn to tell them when to quit. Listen to this podcast, and learn to graciously decline another cup in Mandarin Chinese. Either that, or just sip slower. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0704

Long before Catherine the Great made equestrian famous, people used to jump things on horseback. But not in China. Considering their stature and overuse of the word ma, if any nation should dominate a sport, it's the Chinese in equestrian. Sadly this isn't the case, due to an ancient declaration of karaoke as the national sport. In this podcast, learn about this Olympic sport, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0798

Quite possibly the most useful phrase around, 'forget it' has been well-used by many a sulky teenager, dejected lover, pms-ing girlfriend and/or frustrated communicator. Listen in to this podcast, and learn how to get the most out of this multi-faceted conversation concluder, in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0700

Even though your waiguoren butt is not going to fit in these seats, you'll at least be able to find the right one. Avoid becoming the event sideshow whilst dislodging said bum from said seat in front of an audience of 50,000. Study this lesson and you'll know how to find your correct seat in Mandarin. Listen to the podcast while running on the treadmill and kill two birds with one stone. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0786