Secret Mum Club with Sophiena

Another week, another poo secret... But this time it involves a little bit of redecorating. We also hear from a first-time mum who has a handsy encounter with their mother-in-law. Sophiena's been having some lunchbox troubles, and Emma's sleeping patterns are slowly getting better!

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The ladies are back into the swing of things, and they have loads of your messages and secrets to get through! So we're kicking it off with one mum's rapid childbirth, a listener having school troubles and a secret that will give you the willies.

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The birthing stories continue this week with Emma telling us all about her c-section experience and a listener getting in touch about her own surprise birth! It doesn't stop there though (unfortunately), because we're getting up close and personal with afterbirth too, and it's safe to say we're all off fruity drinks for a little while after hearing this story.

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Now that the ladies are officially back together, they've got loads to catch up on. Sophiena shares more about her experience in the hospital and NICU, and it's safe to say you'll need your tissues ready. Emma tells us all about how Joseff is getting along with his baby sister, and we have two incredible secrets involving a missing willy and sensual breast pumps.

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Can you bloody believe it?! The ladies are finally back together but this time, they've brought along Baby Renley and Sadie! With their little humans in tow Sophiena and Emma have A LOT to catch up on.

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Sophiena’s back and this time, SHE HAS A BABY! We’re officially welcoming little Renley to the Secret Mum Club with a special episode all about his journey into the world. And whilst Emma is busy recovering and enjoying her own bundle of joy, we’ve roped someone in to help. Making his debut is Chris! (AKA Daddy, AKA Pizza Dick.) 

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It's Mother's Day, so of course Sophiena and Emma needed to do a very special episode, on this special day, for every member of The Secret Mum Club! Happy Mother's Day! They have some wonderful messages from you in Correspondence Corner, for the special mums in your life. You'll also hear from our podcast friends at Mummy's Boy with Arthur Hill, The Gossip Gaysand On The Sofawith Colson, Jack and Ben. Expect a "heartfelt" poem, love for Beyonce and why a loaf of bread is a perfect Mother's Day gift. Talking of gifts, Sophiena and Emma have picked up presents for each other (not bread) and discuss what a Mother's Day looks like in their households.

Want to get in touch?

E-mail hello@secretmumpod.com or follow us on socials @secretmumpod

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We're looking back at all the classic Secret Mum Club moments... and this time it's all about number twos! That's right, we're talking poo. It's a running theme on the podcast, and we do love a good poo story! So sit back, relax and let's enjoy some iconic toilet tales!

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Another week, another story about children shouting out embarrassing stuff in public - and this time it's all to do with size! We also hear about a unique way of getting your younger siblings to stop crying, and we have a touching letter from Jess about her own tooth-breaking story. Meanwhile, the ladies have been battling with sleep, and dreaming of all the foods under the sun. Fair warning, they tell us about their latest cravings so if you're hungry... you're about to get a whole lot hungrier!

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If you're going to learn one thing from today's episode, it's that children are honest - they say it how they see it, and they'll tell you how they feel... even if it does involve violence! And we finally hear from a medical professional about c-sections!

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That's right Mum's we're officially out of the studio and recording from home! And with only one disruption from Chrissy (it's not the Secret Daddies Club!), we'd call it a success! The bump countdown continues and it's safe to say those third-trimester symptoms are coming in thick and fast. Sophiena has a WILD secret this week, and Emma shares her children's party woes. Plus we have a sack full of your secrets... and they're eye opening.

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We had such a hoot during our first-ever Insta live that we needed to share it with you (just in case you missed it)! In this 10-minute, home-recorded snippet we hear about Sophiena and Emma's weeks, and it's chaotically fun-filled as always.

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With not long to go, prep for the babies is underway in both households! As well as running around the house, Sophiena brings us a secret about Colby's football practice. And we have letters from you about an obsession with Hey Duggee (because who doesn't love the stick song??), a nurse's unwarranted nickname for "fu fu cottage cheese", and swimming pool changing room antics.

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We've had a fair few saucy secrets from you, and seeing as it's Valentine's week, we're re-sharing our favourites! Soph and Emma run through some of the most iconic love-related letters, and react again!

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Love is in the air, and the itchy legs brigade is out! We've got three of your Valentine's related secrets and an extra special surprise for the ladies. Stepping away from all the romance we also have a whole bunch of your misheard lyrics suggestions, and they are GOLD!

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It turns out Sophiena isn't the only one dealing with floaters in a pool... We hear from a listener who tells us about her own floater stories and there are more pronunciation mishaps at nursery! As it's Internet Safety week, we have a topical secret about keeping children safe online.

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It's finally happened... the ladies watched Saltburn. Traumatised isn't the word. But away from plug-hole licking, Sophiena shares Dottie's latest school troubles, we hear about one toddler's love for Lego Ninjas, and a Mum's loud return to the gym.

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Be warned... this episode is full of surprises, and they aren't for the faint of heart. Firstly, we find out that Dottie isn't the only tooth-yanker out there, and then we have a secret with so many twists that you should definitely be sat down for this one.

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Sophiena and Emma might be taking their relationship to the next level. After seeing Amanda Booth on TikTok's crafty clay work they're thinking of getting BFF Key Rings in the shape of their bum holes (yep, that exists!). As their relationship takes this new high, they also hear from a Mum who needs a bit of advice on administering Calpol, and a little one whose midheard lyric is ICONIC.

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What’s creamy, lumpy, and definitely not cottage cheese? You’ll find out soon because this week the ladies dive straight into the bodily fluids chat! On a somewhat cleaner note, they also get some inside knowledge from a midwife, a listener shares their swimming journey, and there’s a case of a badly timed saucy photo.

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The BIG bumps are in full force with Sophiena having regular baths to help alleviate the pressure and Emma having trouble clothes shopping. But even with the bumps growing, the ladies still have time to read your wonderful letters and secrets! This week we have a baby who loves asking you to 'kiss it better', more chocolate starfish chat and a toddler taking inspiration from Shania Twain.

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Today's episode starts with a bang as the ladies launch straight into the poop shooter chat. And they find out that bum holes are as unique as snowflakes... according to one of our lovely listeners anyway! You've also written in about baby teeth woes, and an occupational hazard that comes with being a parent.

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It’s been quite the week for the ladies, with Emma entertaining a toddler during a check-up and Sophiena facing her fears. But with your letters about poo on the floor, an incident at the opticians, and an exposing chant, it seems they weren’t the only ones! As always today’s episode has a healthy sprinkling of sing-a-longs!

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Not only is it our first Thursday episode of series 2, but it's also the 50th episode of the Secret Mum Club! To celebrate the ladies have more of your correspondence about going on trips without the kids, and there's an extra special surprise after hearing about an unusual use for a poo knife! And as usual, we have an extra secret of the week involving dental hygiene.

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The ladies are back! It’s the first session of 2024, and there is plenty to catch up on. After jet-setting to the exotic lands of Paris and West Wales, both Sophiena and Emma have many tales from their travels. Plus there are your secrets about an unfortunate trip to IKEA, keeping caffeinated, and a lesson on how to pass the blame for your bum trumpets.

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Welcome to 2024 boo! We couldn’t go without wishing you all a happy new year. We’ll be back with more Secret Mum Club antics next week!

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The ladies have a special little festive episode for you filled with presents, crackers and a cheeky bottle of non-alcoholic fizz! Despite there being no alcohol in the vicinity, it’s safe to say the bubbles have definitely had an effect!

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It's our last episode before Christmas! And as always, you've sent in some whoppers. One listener tells us about her in-laws having a gynaecologist who is part of the family, we hear about a little boy's milk curiosity, and the ladies discuss the need for biology lessons after a Mum's letter details her husband's lack of knowledge on the female anatomy.

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Everyone’s giddy in the studio today. You might think it’s because Christmas is near, or the pregnancy hormones… but in reality it’s due to the completely unhinged secrets and correspondence this week! We’ve got Sophiena’s trip to the Isle of Wight, Emma’s run in with Santa, an unsolicited dildo slap and an animated fu fu… Yep, there is A LOT going on in today’s episode!

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We're getting 'baubles deep' into your messages, and this week we hear back from Tanille who has an explanation about the term "S**t her out", and we have ANOTHER poo knife story, but this time it has a nautical theme. The Extra Secret of the Week comes from a Mum who wants to know if it's normal to think newborns aren't that cute!

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It's busy in the Secret Mum Club during the run-up to Christmas. Sophiena has been trying to navigate living in chaos, whilst Emma has officially recruited her Dad for babysitting duties. But we're never too busy for your correspondence and secrets! We hear from a top 5% listener, a Mum with a magical cupboard, another Mum who had a bit of trouble at the spa, and we've officially extended the list of Daddies in the Secret Mum Club (another one?!).

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It wouldn't be a Secret Mum Episode without a good poo story now would it? Well in today's episode, we have TWO! The ladies are perplexed by one listener's giant poo removal technique, and we get caught in another mum's web of lies! We also have an extra secret of the week about when to have a baby.

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What a week for both ladies! One got away with the family and the other has been celebrating a massive poo achievement. We hear from a Mum who struggled with a house guest whilst pregnant, and we've also got double dildo action with two separate Mums having their itchy leg toys exposed!

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A new episode... On a Thursday?? YEP! We've had a rejig at the Secret Mum Club HQ which means that you'll get your weekend fix every Thursday! After all, Thursday is the new Friday.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, we have even more of your messages in the Correspondence Corner and an Extra Secret of The Week! Full disclosure, you might want to put your butter knives down before you hear this one.

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We're back boo! After a short break, Sophiena and Emma are back in the studio... and they have LOADS to catch up on! We hear about the sickness, bath time methods, and as always, there is plenty of chat about bodily functions. Your correspondence and secrets are just as unhinged as this episode with one Dad causing a panic, an unfortunate interaction with a father-in-law and quite possibly the biggest secret we've ever had!

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While the ladies are taking a little break, we've got a brand new podcast to keep you company! Carrie Jade Does Not Exist is the story of how one woman, who took on over six different identities, infiltrated the lives of vulnerable people, and lied her way into gaining their trust. Sue Perkins and journalist Katherine Denkinson will tell the story of how Carrie built up a picture-perfect persona and scammed her way into the literary world until she finally got tangled up in her very own web of lies.

Listen to the full six-part series wherever you get your podcasts!

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There’s a lot of itchy legs chat this week, with Sophiena still not getting jiggy with lube, a listener’s creative use of a sexy cleaners outfit and a teacher’s woe at finding out about a bedroom pole. Emma brings some much needed respite from it all with her weekly round-up and a few more messages from other Mums dealing with clingy toddlers, and a bit of mischief in the garden.

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We love them, we hate them, but at the end of the day they’re your siblings! Emma and Sophiena go through the ups and downs of growing up with brothers and sisters, plus they try to help listener Sarah who asked how to deal with bickering children.

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We always knew the potential power of this podcast… but through a correspondence corner letter, we realise how potent it truly is! This week we hear from our first ever Daddy and as always, you’ve sent in some top notch secrets about spilling crumbs on the baby, and a close call in the hospital!

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The topic this week leads the ladies down a myth-busting trail, as they take on the age-old question is breast best? Plus Emma and Sophiena tell us about their experiences of feeding the babies to help Mum Kara feel less guilty about it all!

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It’s been a weirdly similar week for the ladies. They both had a scan… and both had a gender reveal mishap! But they’re not the only ones with strange things going on as we hear from one mum whose lube was used unconventionally and a listener who unwillingly learned too much about their parents.

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We’re back…. BOO! It’s spooky season and the ladies are asked about their opinions on dressing up, trick or treating and all things Halloween.

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The baby chat is in full swing now that Sophiena and Emma's secrets are out of the bag! And there may be a cheeky mini-announcement in this week’s episode too! We hear from one Mum in shock at her son’s impeccable use of a swear word, and we’re throwing back to the teenage years with a secret involving N-Dubz, Lambrini and squatting in the loo.

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There are Bobs, bumps and beans all over the Secret Mum Club, but preparing for them to come into the world can be daunting! Not to worry though, because Sophiena and Emma are bringing out the checklist in today’s bonus episode for a topic suggested by Mia who asked how to prepare for a baby.

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This week, Sophiena's officially become a Soccer Mom, enthusiastically chanting on the sidelines. Emma has had to deal with acidic poos whilst Steffan was on a golf trip. Soph’s secret of the week involves the class bear going on a bigger, much longer adventure than had been intended, but at least his autumn look was on point. Plus, one listener shares her daughter's solution if you don’t have a plaster for a cut, just use a tampon!

PS This episode was recorded before Emma’s amazing news, more on that in future episodes!

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This week's bonus was suggested by Jade who is having trouble getting her little one to bed, and as always, Emma and Sophiena are on hand to give their sage advice.

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Two announcements in three weeks?! What could it be this time? Sophiena and Emma spill even more beans in this emergency episode!

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The news is officially out there, and we've had some amazing messages from you about Sophiena's pregnancy! You've also been in touch with some big secrets this week, with one mum Googling what to do with a baby when you need a number two, and another being told she has a certain stinky body part! As always Sophiena brings us her secret of the week, which requires listener discretion for all brownie lovers out there.

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We hear from Rebecca who wants to know how the ladies feel about sleepovers for the kids... And it's safe to say they both have strong opinions! Emma shares a few anecdotes from her sleepover experiences and Sophiena tells us how the children got on with their first sleepover! If you have any sleepover stories you'd like to share, email us at hello@secretmumpod.com.

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Emma’s had quite the week with Stefan off for a “weekend” with the lads, and Sophiena tells us about her underwhelming day trip with the children. The ladies don’t often do maths on the podcast, but for this one mum and her loo roll secret they’ve pulled out the calculator! We’ve also received a word of warning from a gaming mummy, and our final secret might have you rolling on the floor.

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It's time to talk about feeding the kids! Our topic comes from listener Vick who asked the ladies how to get children to eat their veggies, and let me tell you... they do not disappoint! From sneaking them into a spag-bol to eating food with them, Sophiena and Emma have loads of nifty tricks to get your little ones eating their five a day.

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There is some HUGE NEWS at the Secret Mum Club HQ! In this emergency announcement special episode, Sophiena and Emma spill the beans.

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We’re firmly back to school and the ladies share how Colby, Dottie and Joseff are getting on in their new surroundings… some more chaotic than others! Meanwhile, some of our incredible listeners have written in about the things their parents lied to them about, toddler tantrums in the middle of Primark, and a very attentive young one who is keeping up with hair grooming trends.

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We’re back boo! This week’s bonus topic comes from listener Steph, who wants to know how to get back to normal after the school holidays, and the ladies have plenty to say on the matter! From Sophiena’s current struggles with Dottie sleeping to Emma figuring out Joseff’s nursery schedule, we’ve got you covered.

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Having only just recovered from a sickness bug, Sophiena is back in the studio with a new lease on life and a secret that involves Dottie, Chris and old pizza. Emma’s brought in some more hilarious letters from you about almost being caught mid itchy legs, swearing children and a razor mix-up!

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It’s our FIRST EVER Secret Mum Club bonus episode! Each week Sophiena and Emma will be delving into a topic, as chosen by you! This week they are discussing Family Holidays after receiving a message from Danielle who asked for some top tips on travelling with kids. From what to pack, to distraction techniques the ladies have got it covered.

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It’s another wild week in the Secret Mum Club. Sophiena’s been busy plotting a surprise for the kids and Emma’s had her hands full with Joseff. And, as always, your letters and secrets are keeping the ladies on their toes! This week we hear about a love for pre-pregnancy belly buttons, a situation in a public toilet, and how going knicker-less can be more than you bargained for.

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The school holidays are coming to a close and Sophiena is dreading the start of term. Emma on the other hand is enjoying Joseff’s first full day at nursery! We have three bottom-related letters over on Correspondence Corner, we hear about an ingenious five-year-old’s bum, a horrendous car fart, and relieving yourself outdoors.

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It’s a bug-filled week for Sophiena and Emma, with both of them having insect mishaps! We hear from a few ladies who also have to do the ‘Bath water boogie’ after entering a body of water, and we’re told about an unfortunate itchy legs consequence! 

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Sophiena and Emma are back together again, discussing birthday celebrations, STIs and discoloured kitchen utensils. There’s more brilliant stories from you, including a close call at a water park, that wasn't what it seemed, and more itchy legs shenanigans. Plus you’ve been sharing your secrets on unwanted babysitters, potty training and your CBeebies crush.

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It’s the start of the school holidays and the ladies have had very different weeks. Sophiena has been busy keeping the kids entertained at home whilst Emma chats about living it up on holiday! Bringing their weeks together are your messages and secrets! We hear about kids playing with tampons, parents struggling with snacking children and an unfortunate mooning incident.

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Sophiena’s pulled out all the stops with Emma’s birthday gifts, and she’s even had some podcast-branded items made! The ladies talk about their birthday celebrations and Sophiena’s post-bath problems. Plus this week Emma has three secrets about interrupting itchy leg time, building up the confidence to leave your baby, and kids picking up swear words!

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It’s been another rollercoaster week for Sophiena and Emma. One is battling with the effects of hay fever and being poked in the nipples, whilst the other had a walk in the park filled with bodily fluids. We also hear secrets and messages about baby eating habits, using “The Period” as an excuse for everything, and the things you say when your child is getting on your nerves!

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It’s been a week of trips with the kids for Sophiena and Emma, with one being surrounded by sand, and the other in a dodgy hotel. Sophiena is spoiling us with not one… but TWO secrets and Emma shares all of the secrets you’ve been sending in, including dealing with biting toddlers, postpartum and a “fartectomy”.

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It's official... Sophiena and Chris are engaged! After eight years and two wonderful children, Chris finally popped the question! In this very special episode, Sophiena reveals all about the moment he got down on one knee and the ring, plus Emma has come prepared with all of your questions and a cheeky celebratory tipple!

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It’s a week of self-care in the Secret Mum Club with Emma getting a haircut, Sophiena carrying on with her Invisalign journey and a listener asking if she should be spending more time pampering herself. We also hear from a mum who isn’t too keen on giving her kids a mobile phone, and a listener who is wondering if having less “itchy leg time” is normal. If you have a secret you'd like to share with us, send it to hello@secretmumpod.com.

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It’s been a good week in the Secret Mum Club despite Sophiena battling with the carpets in her house, and Emma recovering from a big night out. To help keep the hangover at bay, the ladies discuss the age-old question of how old is too old for the children to bathe together and we hear secrets from parents about a harmless school gate group gossip turning sour; when getting freaky between the sheets doesn’t go to plan; and an unfortunate self-tanning incident!

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Sophiena’s had a nightmare of a week, with Dotty needing a trip to A&E, and calling a meeting with Colby’s school… It’s safe to say a strong bevvy is well deserved. Emma brings three brand new secrets to the table about bragging parents, keeping the good snacks away from the kids, and the feeling of losing yourself. If you have a secret you'd like to share with us, send it to hello@secretmumpod.com.

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It’s been a lovely week for the ladies as Sophiena has been busy celebrating her anniversary, and Emma is appreciating getting more rest! We’ve also got a few of your secrets, from being mistaken as pregnant, to despising playing with train sets and feeling guilty when the kids get bumps and bruises.

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This week Sophiena bares all from her wild week which includes accidentally shoplifting and an unbearable revelation about the Titanic. Meanwhile, we share your secrets about dealing with a multitude of questions when you have twins, losing friends when you become a Mum, and sleeping techniques.

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Come in and join the Secret Mum Club with Sophiena and Emma as they crack into the world of motherhood. In this very special first episode, we hear secrets from Mums who are troubled with co-sleeping, growing beards and not getting on with other parents. Remember this is a judgement-free zone for Mums everywhere, after all… we’re all in this together!

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Sophiena is opening up her Secret Mum Club, the place for all Mums to share all their secrets. From the silly to the serious, this is a totally anonymous place for parents to get things off their chest, because as we all know, we’re all in this together. Joining Sophiena will be her Secret Queen co-host Emma, who will be keeping Soph on her toes and revealing the stories you submit. 

To get your secret read out on the podcast, email hello@secretmumpod.com, follow us on socials @secretmumpod and - like any good secret - tell all your friends about us!

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