Podcasts by Category
- 409 - How to Turn Your Trash Into Treasure with Brian Bogert
On today’s episode, our guest is Brian Bogert. He's an incredible individual who has gone through a remarkable journey, including the loss and reattachment of his arm. He shares his inspiring story on stage but also offers insights on how to have a significant impact and generate income. In our discussion, we explore his business growth strategies and how he leverages his speaking career to make a difference. If you're looking for both a compelling story and practical advice to launch or grow your speaking business, you're in for a treat. So let's dive into the episode and hear from Brian himself.
[1:50] Do you mind sharing with everyone what your actual message is when you step into the world?
To put it plainly, I often declare that my primary roles are as a husband and father. However, my actions didn't always align with this declaration. There was a significant period in my life where I found myself reacting to situations or feeling a certain way due to actions that I believed were in line with my intentions, but often were not. Looking at my journey from a high-level perspective, when I was seven, I endured a traumatic accident where I was run over by a truck, resulting in my left arm being torn from my body and then reattached. While this event has been a cornerstone of my narrative as a speaker, I later realized that it also contributed to unresolved issues that I suppressed for years, leading to periods of turmoil. However, an experience later in life dramatically shifted my perspective and allowed me to realign with my values. Today, I collaborate with individuals and organizations to uncover and eliminate hidden obstacles, transforming them into opportunities for growth and success. Much of our focus centers on understanding human behavior and fostering meaningful connections, ultimately enabling individuals and organizations to operate at their highest levels of performance and potential.
[4:10] What was your personal journey in working through that? What did you do differently than most people do?
From the outset, it's crucial to acknowledge a couple of phases in my journey. When I emerged from the hospital as a child, I often drew attention due to the teddy bear I held between my arms. People would inquire about what happened to me, expecting a mundane response. Instead, I would bluntly reveal that I was run over by a truck, causing 99% of them to pause and seek validation from my parents. This experience led me to believe that others wouldn't understand or believe my truth. Consequently, I embraced the idea that mindset and mental toughness were paramount. This mindset served me well for a while until I experienced a snowboarding injury at 20, leaving me isolated and resentful as others adhered to the narrative of my self-sufficiency. Realizing the need for vulnerability and authenticity, I embarked on a journey to foster genuine human connections. Despite achieving material success by age 27, I felt a profound sense of loss as I realized it had come at the expense of my true self. This pivotal moment led me to hire my first coach and transition into a profession where I could utilize my story to inspire others.
[12:50] How did you begin building your speaking business? What was your approach?
In the beginning, my main focus was on getting as many repetitions as possible with the initial framework, concept, and messaging. Whether it was through podcasts, conference submissions, or other platforms, I tested various languages and observed what resonated with people in real time. Feedback was crucial, and I remained open to adjusting the message to better connect with the audience. While I had prior experience speaking on stage, podcasts opened up new opportunities and allowed me to build relationships with hosts and event organizers. Through these interactions, I aimed to create deep value and impact without solely focusing on selling from the stage. My goal was to transform the audience's experience and leave a lasting impression. As I gained clarity on my message and built assets like a speaker reel, I leveraged referrals and cold outreach to expand my opportunities.
[18:10] What was your process for figuring things out and getting started? Did you rely on asking a lot of questions? How did you pave the way to getting the information and traction you have now?
To be completely honest, a lot of my speaking approach stems from the strategies I used to create growth and impact in my previous business. I've been using video for prospecting and communication for 15 years because I understand that words alone don't convey the full message. With video, I can communicate tone, cadence, and nonverbal cues, which builds trust at a deeper level. This approach has roots in my experience negotiating complex deals with multiple decision-makers. Speaking, in comparison, feels easier because typically there are fewer decision-makers and quicker conversations. My goal is to insert humanity into my interactions and ensure that people can feel who I am beyond what they find online. Recently, I delivered a keynote for a $500 million surface contractor after a serendipitous website submission led to a direct phone call. By engaging in personal conversations and sending follow-up videos, I was able to land the deal and secure a consulting contract. I believe that the more intentional and congruent I am in my interactions, the greater the impact I can make, leaving a lasting impression wherever I go.
[25:25] When did you realize that simply sharing your story wasn't enough and that there needed to be substance behind it? How did you develop that understanding and begin implementing it into your speaking engagements?
I've been speaking for philanthropic reasons for over 20 years, mainly sharing my personal story for motivation. However, as I transitioned into professional speaking, I realized the importance of creating depth and impact beyond just telling my story. While my story can be compelling, I've learned to quickly normalize it and integrate relatable elements that others can connect with. Instead of solely relying on my own experiences, I studied and incorporated stories of well-known figures into my talks, but I found that forced and disconnected. Therefore, I focused on understanding the emotional and mental states I was in during pivotal moments and how I navigated through them. By sharing pragmatic applications and methodologies, I aim to leave a lasting impact and create inflection points in people's lives rather than just being a fleeting memory.
[32:20] What strategies are you employing to access higher budgets and build your brand?
Currently, my main focus is aligning with what you just mentioned. Historically, most of my opportunities stemmed from direct efforts and referrals. I'm now working on refining my outreach strategy. Despite speaking for large organizations, there are still untapped pathways in the speaking business that I aim to access. While I've been fortunate with referrals and good speaking fees, there's a gap between where I am and the top tier. My motivation for speaking has evolved from seeking higher fees to tying it to a deeper purpose aligned with our broader mission. Each speaking opportunity is a chance to amplify our impact and inspire others. I'm now aiming to identify the right audience and establish consistent outreach systems. Consistency over time is key, and while outbound efforts remain important, having reliable systems in place will make them complementary rather than essential.
Key Quotes
[8:10-8:18] Trashing your past is not your fault, It just becomes your responsibility once you become aware of it or you start burying others in yours.
[12:55-13:00] Having a great message is one thing but getting it on the stage is another
How to connect with Brian Bogert
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bogertbrian LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/brianbogert Website: https://www.brianbogert.com
Tue, 09 Apr 2024 - 45min - 408 - Achieving Faster Freedom with Sam Primm
In today’s episode, our guest is Sam Primm. Sam's unconventional approach to challenges, rooted in faith and openness, has led to remarkable success in real estate and education, as well as amassing a significant social media following. Despite his achievements, Sam remains humble and genuine, proving that success doesn't always require flashy displays.
[2:08] Why should I listen to you?
I suggest you listen to me because I offer a unique perspective. Perception, the lens through which we view the world, is a genuine perspective. It involves removing oneself from a situation to see it from the world's viewpoint, which is often the most beneficial. Hence, I believe we could have many engaging conversations about perspective and perception during our next coffee meet-up, delving deeper into the topic.
[3:00] Where do you get to the point of really wanting to hear the truth?
It's truly been quite a journey, my friend. We have ample time to delve deeper into this. In the past, my approach was simply to roll up my sleeves and outwork others, which certainly propelled me to a certain level of success. However, I've come to realize that mindset plays a pivotal role. When I adopted the mindset of seeing the bigger picture, I experienced significant personal, professional, and financial growth. Interacting with individuals who are far ahead of me has shown me that their mindset, more than anything else, has been the catalyst for their success. It's about shifting your paradigm and understanding that reaching the next level requires a certain degree of detachment from oneself, whether it's driven by vanity or a genuine desire to help others.
[4:10] What was your mindset and experience prior to making this shift?
I was initially on the traditional path of working a job while attending college, following the idea of working until retirement, saving money, and living frugally. However, my perspective shifted when I started investing in real estate on the side with a friend and witnessed its potential. Recognizing this as my new path, we dedicated ourselves to real estate, eventually leaving our jobs in 2018 to fully commit. Entrepreneurship brought its challenges, including managing employees, payroll, and overhead costs. To overcome these hurdles and continue growing personally and professionally, I sought guidance from successful mentors and invested in mastermind groups.
[5:58] What enabled you to overcome that hesitation and take the leap into pursuing what you're doing, considering that many people often find themselves stuck in a similar situation?
I believe there's likely some ignorance in simply diving into things without fully grasping the potential consequences or overanalyzing. However, this tendency to take action without hesitation can be both advantageous and problematic. While it propelled us forward, it also means I struggle to find contentment and live in the present moment. This approach has its benefits and drawbacks—it propelled us to quit our jobs and achieve significant success in real estate, but we often neglect to appreciate the journey. It allows us to bypass obstacles that might otherwise hold us back, but it also means we miss out on the opportunity to savour the experience. So, I think the main issue is that I acted impulsively without much consideration.
[7:20] What specific action or decision separated you from simply having a mindset shift to actually living the dream of quitting your job?
I believe I began to recognize the significance of sharing my story and its impact. As I started posting on social media and witnessing others' stories, it bolstered my confidence. Seeing the tangible impact on myself, my business partner, and others encouraged me to believe that if they could do it, we could too—both online through social media and collectively as a team. It was primarily about building confidence, as I needed to witness firsthand the effects of sharing our journey.
[8:00] How did you navigate conversations with your partner, friends, or even spouse who might have had doubts or concerns about your decision to pursue your business endeavours?
Moving forward, I'll refer to my business partner as Lucas. It became evident to us early on that when the right combination comes together, the synergy can be exponential. Having known each other since middle school, and then progressing through high school and college together, Lucas and I share a deep history. Our bond has been forged through various experiences, including standing up for each other in numerous situations. We even ran a painting business during college, balancing work with our shared interests. Transitioning into the real world after college, we realized that real estate offered a promising path to success, even without substantial initial capital. This shared realization led us to embark on our journey in real estate together, a decision that has led to tremendous growth. Currently, our team consists of 47 members, with around 15 of them being longtime friends. Despite the common advice against mixing business with personal relationships, we've found success in intertwining the two aspects of our lives.
[9:50] How do you maintain long-term relationships with individuals who may bring about challenges or headaches without compromising your standards?
We've encountered our fair share of challenges along the way, but we've become adept at addressing them proactively by setting clear expectations and fostering open communication. Everyone on our team understands the value of their role, and we've occasionally had to reassign individuals to different positions. Fortunately, having multiple companies allows us to find the right fit for both the individual and the company culture. While we don't exclusively hire friends, knowing that they have our backs due to our longstanding relationships is invaluable. Trust and loyalty are paramount to us, as they are more important than simply hiring someone with a specific skill set. In our flipping company, for example, the COO, who happens to be Lucas's brother-in-law, oversees operations, and everyone respects his authority because we hold him accountable to certain metrics.
[11:40] Can you describe a moment when you felt weighed down by challenges and how you navigated through them?
Amid current worries and ongoing pivots, I'm reminded of one of our early challenges. About seven years ago, shortly after diving into real estate, Lucas and I encountered a setback when we purchased a trio of houses, only to realize that two of them were bad deals. Facing the prospect of bringing a substantial amount of money to the closing table to salvage the investment, I was ready to throw in the towel on real estate. However, Lucas remained level-headed and optimistic, assuring me that we would find a solution. This experience taught me the value of having a supportive partner to navigate challenges and persevere through setbacks in our entrepreneurship.
[18:15] Do you struggle with not only creating systems and SOPs but also with developing others to reach your level of skill and expertise?
Trust is paramount in any partnership, particularly when navigating challenges and accepting the inevitability of mistakes and inefficiencies as part of the growth process. I've come to understand that despite having meticulous standard operating procedures, human error is bound to occur. This realization has underscored the importance of surrounding myself with individuals who excel in areas where I may lack proficiency.
[19:32] What specific area of expertise do you possess where you feel confident in offering guidance and support to others who may encounter similar challenges?
One of my strongest areas of expertise lies in handling social media, which I've dedicated myself to for the past two and a half years. Beginning in 2020, I focused extensively on building my presence across platforms such as TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook. Through consistent effort, investing around 30 hours per week, I've been able to amass a combined following of 2.7 million followers. Having experienced firsthand the intricacies of social media growth, I often find myself approached for advice on this topic. I've observed that many individuals struggle with authenticity, often due to outsourcing video production or lacking original ideas. However, I've found that this issue can be easily resolved by prioritizing authenticity. Social media has become a skill that I've honed, and leveraging its power effectively has been one of my most valuable abilities developed over the past year.
[23:55] What is something that many people overlook or underestimate that you found to be essential?
For social media specifically, I've accumulated a substantial number of videos with over a million views—likely well over 50 in total. Interestingly, almost every one of these videos has been recorded on my phone and edited directly within apps. Conversely, I've also invested significant time and resources into more elaborate videos, which have been meticulously crafted by my editing team, sometimes taking up to 13 hours to complete. However, despite their polished appearance, these videos have often failed to resonate with audiences in the same way as the simpler, more authentic content. Through numerous discussions with peers, I've come to realize that simplicity and authenticity are what truly resonate across all platforms. People gravitate towards content that feels genuine and straightforward, as they're primarily seeking entertainment or quick information while scrolling through social media. This insight was gleaned from my own experiences, where I initially found success with raw, unfiltered content recorded solely with my phone. Attempts to "fancy it up" often resulted in a loss of traction, reinforcing the importance of simplicity and authenticity in social media content.
[23:54] What was the main focus for you as you began to delve deeper and refine your approach?
Initially, my approach to posting on social media was quite spontaneous—I didn't have a concrete plan in place. I would describe it as a "post-analyze-post" method, where I would upload content and then meticulously analyze the analytics afterwards. I'd examine why certain videos performed better than others, scrutinizing factors such as the background, hook, length, or background music. This process of trial and error continued for about three years, during which I focused on posting as frequently as possible in pursuit of potentially viral content. However, after amassing a significant following, I've begun to transition towards a more strategic approach. Now, I create content tailored specifically to three distinct avatars that we've identified as our target audience. This shift allows us to create videos to attract and engage with these specific demographics. Overall, my initial strategy of creating viral-worthy content without a specific target audience proved successful to a certain extent, but now I'm focusing on creating content with a more intentional and targeted approach.
[39:18] What does your greatest direction look like for all these things coming together?
My original goal was one house a year for 10 years, which we surpassed. Then it was $25 million in real estate by 2025, achieved in 2020. Now, we've set bigger goals with deeper meanings: building a billion-dollar organization, owning a billion dollars in real estate, and bringing an NBA team to St. Louis. While NBA ownership is appealing, it represents more than just a status symbol—it signifies financial success, community impact, and job creation, all of which align with my vision for St. Louis's future.
[41:17] Do you want to revive the existing team or build an entirely new team from scratch?
My idea revolves around syndicating ownership of an NBA expansion team through social media. This entails offering small ownership shares to a broad audience, allowing individuals to invest in the team for a fraction of the cost. Unlike the Green Bay Packers' ownership model, this would be a legitimate investment, providing shareholders with returns and income akin to syndicating apartment complexes. By engaging fans across the country as stakeholders, we aim to raise significant capital and cultivate a loyal fan base that supports the team both financially and emotionally. It's a novel approach that could revolutionize sports ownership and fan engagement.
[48:08] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I believe I'm here to inspire millions of people to break free from their ordinary lives so they can achieve more. By increasing their income, they can give and donate more, ultimately gaining financial stability and control over their lives.
Key Quotes
[3:45-3:49] If you want to get to a certain level; you have to remove yourself to a certain degree if you want to get there efficiently.
[17:17-17:21] You have to have had a certain modicum of success to learn some lesson.
How to connect with Sam Primm
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samprimm
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/fasterfreedomcommunity
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/samprimm
Tue, 27 Feb 2024 - 50min - 407 - How to Want Yourself with Katie Horwitch
In this episode, our guest is Katie Horwitch. She is the author of "Want Yourself, Shift Yourself," engaging in a captivating conversation. In this episode, we delve into self-discovery, personal development, and addressing negative self-talk. How did you develop the desire to be yourself and cultivate a sense of competence to progress in life? Explore the journey of turning dreams into reality as Katie walks you through tactical ways to make it happen. Without further ado, let's dive into the episode with Katie Horwitch
[2:34] Why should I listen to you?
Being an introvert and a highly sensitive person, if I initiate a conversation with you, it's because I see the potential for meaningful interaction between us.
[3:25] What are the things that are deeply important to you?
That's a great question because, as someone with a contrasting personality – a gregarious introvert or what some might label an extroverted introvert – people often mistake me for an outgoing person. However, I tend to keep to myself not because I'm guarded but because I'm a professional observer, always absorbing data from people and the world. Meaningful conversations in this setting, not during a keynote or workshop, stem from something I've noticed in you and grown curious about. When it comes to making adult friendships, many find it daunting, assuming it involves constant small talk. I prefer to reverse-engineer the situation, considering the type of connection and feelings I want to cultivate. I'm genuinely invested in our conversation and our interaction, with a focus on the 'so what' – what happens afterward and beyond.
[7:00] What sparked your intense curiosity in professional settings like NFL teams, and have you ever been perceived as stuck up for being a listener rather than an immediate talker?
Both questions are intriguing, but the second one stands out. Regarding the first, people often talk about rediscovering their childhood free-spirited selves. However, I've been hypersensitive and a keen observer since birth, not just emotionally but to lights, noises, and people's moods. Thankfully, this trait wasn't discouraged overtly, though growing up in the '80s and '90s, societal expectations leaned toward being loud and confident, particularly for women.
While I absorbed the world around me, the societal push for confidence without appearing narcissistic created a dynamic where I became a social chameleon. I adapted to avoid being labeled as off-putting or arrogant, honing this skill through life's ups and downs. Regarding the second point about being perceived as unfriendly for not talking much, I rarely encountered that due to my heightened awareness. Growing up in a talkative family, meeting my introverted husband highlighted my tendency to fill silence.
[13:02] How did you get to the point of finding that space between your husband where you could learn to be quiet?
I found myself filling space in certain situations, driven by a desire for something specific. Your example of a group of seemingly self-centered individuals resonates – perhaps they seek acknowledgment or lack opportunities to express themselves elsewhere. As an internal processor in a world of external processors, I sometimes need to process aloud, and my husband, lovingly, called me out on this. I realized my tendency to fill space comes from a desire for connection, born out of being a recovered people pleaser.
[16:25] What was your journey to this point like?
As mentioned, I grew up with hypersensitivity and heightened observance. Navigating life, I faced a constant tug-of-war between my self-confidence, the subtleness within me, and societal expectations, especially for women. There was an unwritten rule against being too loud or taking pride in accomplishments, which wasn't conducive to embracing one's strengths. Reflecting on the mental health conversations prevalent today, it's clear that such discussions weren't part of the narrative during my upbringing as a child of the '80s and '90s. By the time I reached college, the struggle with control intensified. As a musical theater major at the University of California, Irvine, the facade I had maintained for connection and belonging crumbled. This led to a complex mix of eating and body-related disorders, an issue compounded by the limited discourse around mental health in 2006-2007. In those times, the conversation about these disorders was binary, lacking nuance. My personal struggle compelled me to turn my hyper-observant nature inward for self-reflection. Recognizing that something wasn't right, especially as someone in tune with my body like you as an athlete, was a pivotal moment.
[21:30] How did you navigate that?
I underwent a journey driven by the pursuit of perfection, particularly as a musical theater major relying heavily on my voice and body akin to an athlete. The impact was tangible, affecting my voice to the extent that I lacked the necessary muscle and breath strength for singing. Instead of being overly critical, I started providing constructive feedback by observing how I responded to conversations, feelings, and thoughts. This introspection revealed the prevalence of what I call "casual negativity" – the habitual use of negative language, both internally and externally. Recognizing this internalized language, I realized the need to delve into its origins. To shift my self-talk, I understood the importance of addressing the underlying beliefs rather than merely affirming positivity on the surface.
[24:15] How did that lead to this book?
The book, "Wanting Yourself: Shift Your Self-Talk and Unearth the Strength in Who You Were All Along," posits that self-talk is neither inherently positive nor negative; it's the interpretation and subsequent actions that carry weight. The central idea is that self-talk serves as information, and the book advocates starting with the "self" aspect rather than solely focusing on talk. Comparable to addressing the root cause of a persistent cough, the book provides a practical blueprint for understanding and transforming self-talk.
With a foundation in 16 years of research, writing, and speaking on the subject, it dives into the reasons behind our self-conversations and emphasizes the crucial shift needed. It endeavors to empower readers with practical tools, enabling them to navigate the process independently and recognize the urgency and significance of this transformation in our society.
[29:14] How does somebody shift their self-talk?
I appreciate your emphasis on proof points, a crucial aspect. The initial step, as discussed in the book, involves redefining and reevaluating our self-talk practices. Often, people tend to categorize self-talk as either positive or negative, but I see it simply as self-talk, where our feelings about what we say to ourselves shape our self-perception and subsequent actions. Some claim they don't grapple with negative self-talk, similar to stating they never get tired. Acknowledging the inevitability of discomfort and negative self-talk is vital. Just as knowing how to respond when tired is essential, understanding the underlying message in uncomfortable feelings can guide meaningful actions. The process entails unraveling layers and discerning genuine events from emotional responses. Redefining positivity is another crucial aspect, focusing on sustained positivity rooted in proactive behavior rather than reactive responses. For instance, if someone frequently acts as a social chameleon, the feeling of inadequacy may be tied to a genuine desire for connection. Acknowledging and embracing one's true self in smaller, everyday moments serves as proof that authenticity is liberating, especially before significant moments that may feel high-stakes.
[40:34] What happens to your identity when you've done this habit?
There's a prevalent notion about thoughts becoming things, and in a podcast conversation, I explored the idea that thoughts, feelings, and beliefs define who we are. These elements are significant and often developed over time, as therapy sessions can reveal. Building a sense of self is an ongoing process, not a quick fix. Your focus on long-term self-building raises the question of the "so what" after forming good habits. I believe our self-talk is the narrative we tell ourselves and others, shaping how we engage with the world. In a complex world with ongoing challenges, our reactions are rooted in the self we've cultivated. When individuals lack a solid sense of self, harmful behaviors like othering or joining harmful movements can arise as a way to combat discomfort. In essence, building these habits goes beyond a mere desire; it's a necessity to be the positive change we want to see in the world.
[50:28] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
She will be exactly who she needs to be
Key Quotes
[24:37-24:50] Self-talk isn't inherently good or bad; it is what we do with that information that informs what we do next and next.
[37:50-37:55] Self-trust can be built in small and everyday moments
How to connect with Katie Horwitch
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katiehorwitch
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katiehorwitch
Website: https://www.katiehorwitch.com
Tue, 13 Feb 2024 - 53min - 406 - Create a life beyond limits with Glen Lundy
In this episode, we have the remarkable Glen Lundy joining us. Glen's journey is fascinating, from a fulfilling career to an expansive life. He didn't settle; he leaned into that yearning for growth. In this episode, Glen unveils the inner workings of his mind, the pivotal shifts, and the lessons extracted from challenging moments. From seven-figure businesses to a loving family, Glen's story is a testament to intentional living and legacy-building. Join us as we delve into the behind-the-scenes of creating an extraordinary life. Let's dive deep into this insightful conversation.
[4:32] Why should I listen to you?
I've had conversations with many people in random places. My wife will tell you I've never met a stranger. And I love having those conversations. I would say you should listen to me because I'm likely to ask you questions that will inspire deeper, meaningful conversations that you might not normally have. I love asking people questions, learning about humans, and sparking real conversation. In today's day and age, sometimes that can be challenging, with everything being brief and short. So that would be the main reason you should talk with me. Then I've got a little wisdom. I've got a little experience. I'm a husband to one and a father to eight. I am a speaker. I've spoken on stages all around the world. I've written a few books, and I've built this, now my second multimillion-dollar company. So I've got a little experience and wisdom and might be able to provide a little value. But most importantly, I'll make sure you feel good about yourself by the time we're done.
[6:58] At what point did you discover your true drive? Did these goals align for you, or did your true drive emerge separately in your journey?
There's a book called "The Second Mountain" discussing how we're taught to chase conventional success but often hit a midlife awakening, realizing there's more to life. I spent 25 years setting myself up financially. In the last six years, I shifted to building a life-centric business. I value investing time over spending it. I'm passionate about the power of words. I had a realization during a conversation where someone spoke about investing in various aspects of life but casually spent time on non-productive activities. This led me to eliminate the concept of "spending time" and approach everything as an investment with an expected return. This mindset shift allowed me to invest in relationships, business, fitness, personal growth, and mental health, understanding that not all investments require equal effort.
[15:18] What were the subsequent steps in your decision to fully embrace what you're doing now?
Yes, for the next year, our focus was solely on chasing dollars. I would accept speaking engagements wherever the pay was good, and we even created and sold planners to generate some income. This was during a time when we were figuring things out. Throughout that year, I observed deficiencies in the auto industry, particularly for individuals at the owner or general manager level. While there's abundant training for sales and finance managers, there needs to be more mentorship for those in top positions. Recognizing this gap, I decided to lean into it. I noticed a unique opportunity to teach others how to run a dealership successfully, something not commonly done by those who've achieved such positions. Realizing this gap, I started conducting workshops and webinars. Eventually, I incorporated strategies for monthly recurring income, leading to the creation of the 800% Elite Automotive Club. Now, I assist dealership owners across the United States and Canada through a monthly membership program, helping them scale their businesses. It has been a journey of figuring things out and seizing opportunities.
[18:10] If someone hears your story and resonates with it, feeling stuck in a safe but uninspiring career, what advice would you offer to someone who might have an inkling that they can make a change, even if not necessarily starting their own business?
Take a close look in the mirror and at your current opportunity. Ask yourself, have you truly maximized it? Many people express a desire to quit their jobs and become entrepreneurs, but my advice is to assess if you've squeezed the most out of your current situation. Remember when you eagerly sought that job, dressed up for the interview, and felt it was the greatest thing ever? Now, after a year, five years, or a decade, have you become the best at it with no further room to grow? When you reach that point, doors will naturally open, and you'll see the path you should take. It's not a forced decision. Personally, I didn't plan to quit my job that day; I focused on being the best, and the opportunity to move forward presented itself.
[22:35] When someone hasn't fully committed to their current opportunity but is considering a change, how do you balance perseverance for growth with knowing when it's time for something new?
If you find yourself not loving your job and waiting for everyone else to be right, consider a different perspective. The issue isn't the job itself; I know janitors who genuinely love what they do. It's about winning at your role, building relationships, and feeling a sense of purpose and pride in your work. Financial gain might not be the driving factor for everyone. It's not a one-size-fits-all situation; it's about the person behind the position. If you currently hate your job, it's likely because you're not winning at it. Find a way to succeed, and then you can determine if this is the right fit for you or not.
[35:25] How did you discover the ability to build a relationship with discomfort?
I'm not sure if I can say I love it; I think it's more fear. I'm more scared of death than loving the process. I recently challenged my beliefs and decided to train for a marathon, something I once thought was crazy. As a sprinter, long-distance running seemed pointless, but I wanted to question my beliefs. I trained for 30 weeks, ran 20 miles, and was supposed to participate in the Boston Marathon, but I decided not to. It wasn't about the ribbon; it was about pushing my body's limits. I didn't love a single mile of the training route, but I gained the knowledge that I could do hard things. Similarly, my wife and I got back together after a divorce. To spend more time with her, I joined her in hobbies I hadn't tried before, like doing a half Ironman. I hated every minute of it, but it created a shared struggle and strengthened our relationship. The medal didn't matter; it was about the valuable experiences gained through the journey.
[41:46] Where do I send people who want to know more about Glen Lundy, what he's up to, and how they can kind of work with you?
Many of the experiences I have now are vastly different from 15 years ago. I went through a period of homelessness and spent a significant part of my 20s in and out of jail, a total of 17 times. I used to solely rely on myself and didn't believe in anything beyond that. The turning point came when I faced deep depression and suicidal thoughts. The very next day, I was introduced to self-development, studying successful individuals who often had powerful morning routines that encompassed mind, body, and spirit. Exploring various practices like cold showers and Tony Robbins-style approaches, I discovered five simple steps that, when applied each morning, completely transformed my life. I started teaching these steps to my 300 employees, and now I've shared the Morning 5, the five simple steps to an extraordinary life with hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people globally. To connect with me, visit themorning5.com, where you can download my free ebook. It's available in an audible version and takes less than an hour to read. It not only explains the five steps but also delves into my story. It's a great way for us to get acquainted. Feel free to connect with me on Instagram or Facebook after checking out the ebook, as I always like to start with a gift.
[44:14] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
God's promise when creating me was clear: everyone gets a seat at the table. Raised in a unique family, with my dad black, my mom white, and both remarried, our homes embraced diverse cultures. Growing up in such diversity made me a chameleon, navigating identity issues. Now, I see it as a gift—the ability to empathize with people from all walks of life. I can understand different perspectives, whether from inmates to the free, the homeless to the wealthy, or the depressed to the joy-filled. It's a beautiful opportunity we all have: bringing people to the table of understanding where everyone deserves a seat.
Key Quotes [11:07-11:15] Jesus wasn't a passive guy but an active guy who went out and faced whatever he had to face to deliver a message of hope and make an impact in people’s lives
[27:10-27:20] If you don't aspire to be a winner, you are robbing the world of the gift of you.
How to connect with Glenn Lundy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/glenn_lundy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OfficialGlennLundy Website: https://www.glennlundy.com
Tue, 30 Jan 2024 - 48min - 405 - How to Find and Live Your Purpose with Amina AlTai
In today’s episode, our guest is Amina Al Tai.Our guest today has overcome life challenges, including a moment where she was told she might not make it. She made crucial adjustments, moving from avoidance to a deeper sense of purpose. Her success journey is now focused on teaching others to find genuine fulfillment in life, beyond just financial success.
[2:33] Why should I listen to you?
One thing I thoroughly enjoy is approaching conversations with curiosity. If I were to engage with you, I'd likely pose numerous questions – after all, who doesn't appreciate being asked? Initiating a dialogue in this way feels disarming, fostering a connection by delving deeper into understanding and connecting with someone.
[3:00] Where did you get that curiosity from though?
The story is quite intriguing, and I'm sure many people can relate to it. I am of mixed heritage, being half Iraqi and half Welsh, born in London, and raised in New Jersey. In my family, my older sister faced significant health challenges, dealing with type one diabetes. Consequently, I had to become exceptionally self-sufficient and take care of my younger sisters. As a sort of coping mechanism, I found solace in eating my emotions. This led to me living my childhood in a larger body, and I frequently received comments about being too heavy, clinically obese, and the need to lose weight. In response, I developed an overcompensation strategy. I decided to cultivate a sparkling personality, aiming to be the most charming person in the room. I buried myself in academics, determined to excel in school so that people would notice me and acknowledge my worth. This coping mechanism, born out of my circumstances and body image, became a performance that I carried into my professional life. This approach served me well for a while until it didn't. I took my strong work ethic into the workplace, pushing myself to the point of burnout and developing two autoimmune diseases. Working 70-80 hour weeks became the norm, until one day, my doctor called and urged me not to go to work but to head to the emergency room. I was just days away from multiple organ failure. This incident was a wake-up call, highlighting how my childhood programming had set me up for dysfunction in my later years.
[5:30] What did you learn from that experience?
I appreciate the concept of the "stop moment" or the shift in perspective, that moment when the universe intervenes, signaling a need for change. Initially, I resisted my doctor's advice and went to work that day, dismissing the severity of the situation. It's quite surreal to reflect on that time and see it as a window into my programming and how I was navigating life. Sure thing! I really love what I call the "stop moment" or that shift when the universe says, "Hey, what you're doing needs to change." So, on that day, my doctor told me not to go to work, but I shrugged it off, thinking it couldn't be that serious. I went to work anyway. Looking back, it's wild because it offers a glimpse into how I was wired at that time. Eventually, I acknowledged that my doctor was probably right, and I needed to see someone. I found myself at a crossroads: continue down my current path, which might not lead to a longer life, or choose a different way. I chose the latter and assembled a medical team. Alongside that, I sought coaching, realizing that everything I thought I knew about life wasn't working for me. Coaching was a game-changer and, honestly, a lifesaver. That's why I became a coach – it revealed the stories I held about myself, work, success, life, and worthiness that needed a deep rewrite.
[7:00] Before we delve deeper, what exactly do you do?
In simple terms, I'm a business and career coach, but I like to think of myself as a holistic leadership and mindset coach. My approach is holistic because my own pivotal moments taught me the importance of a multidisciplinary approach to our work and lives. My coaching covers mindset, well-being, and even touches on social justice because I find it crucial. I adopted this multidisciplinary approach because relying on a single lane or lens didn't work for me. I realized the significance of taking care of my well-being to show up fully, understanding that nourishment serves as a conduit to clarity. Working on my mindset was essential to approaching work differently. I also recognized the need for specific tools and tactics in how I showed up in my business or career, determining whether I thrived or not.
[8:25] What are the things that you have experienced, and as a result, developed a deep appreciation for?
What you've asked is truly profound, and it perfectly resonates with some of the most difficult moments in my life. To be clear, I don't necessarily want to relive those moments daily, but I wouldn't trade them because they've been valuable teachers. The pause in time, as challenging as it was, altered the course of my life, leading to the career I have today. Losing my grandfather in 2018, my father figure, was incredibly painful, the most significant loss I've faced. Yet, I wouldn't undo it, as the depth of that grief allows me to empathize and guide others through similar experiences. Despite not wanting to embrace these moments daily, I cherish the lessons they've imparted.
[13:55] What are some of the ups and downs you've had to face?
My career initially started in marketing and brand management, which I pursued until a pivotal moment prompted me to return to school. There, I delved into coaching, nutrition, mindfulness, and movement, seeking personal well-being. With newfound knowledge, I envisioned creating a corporate wellness company to share these insights and prevent others from hitting rock bottom. Despite apparent success, delivering a talk at a top consulting firm left me in tears, questioning the authenticity of my path. It became clear that I had compartmentalized my identity into "business Amina" and "wellness Amina." This prompted a shift, realizing the need to integrate all aspects of myself. The experience taught me the importance of embracing evolution, as fixating on a singular dream can set us up for failure. We are always becoming, continuously refining our journey.
[16:22] How can someone recognize they've reached that point?
I believe there are a few recurring themes. Frustration is one—I've experienced deep frustration. Bitterness is another theme. Resentment is present when the morning struggle to pursue our desires arises. That, to me, is a significant indicator. As you mentioned, having the ability to decide, "I'm going to start this business," is a form of privilege. However, we can make subtle shifts to experience more ease. I often encourage people to engage with their genius. Everyone has different zones of genius. In corporate roles, we often operate outside of our genius, leading to frustration. If making a drastic change isn't feasible, ask yourself, "How can I spend an extra 10 minutes today in my zone of genius? What about 20 more minutes?" Over time, this shift can transform frustration into a sense of flow. So, even if we're dealing with the signature themes of frustration, bitterness, resentment, and anger, there are ways to make gradual improvements
[17:40] How did you navigate these experiences?
A common challenge I observe in my clients when it comes to embracing personal growth is the fear of losing loved ones. It's a deeply human emotion, rooted in our instinct as social beings. The notion that growth might lead to losing people is daunting, making some opt to stay where they are. However, addressing your initial question, I believe it's a balance. I've invested a significant amount of time in individual work because, often, we rely on others to guide us, asking coaches or healers for advice. Yet, our inner wisdom is profound, and those external figures serve as mirrors. It's about finding the right people who ask the right questions and reflect back to us. It's also crucial to spend enough time with ourselves to discern our voice from others'.
[20:05] How do you introduce these ideas that may seem somewhat abstract to them but, at a deeper level, address the core issues you perceive they're facing?
A wise individual once shared with me the importance of selling what people want while delivering what they truly need. In my discussions with others, I acknowledge their desires for promotions, raises, business ventures, and financial success. However, it's crucial to recognize that these aspirations are intricately linked to our mindset and spiritual growth. They are not mutually exclusive but interconnected. To chart our 2024 roadmap authentically, we must honestly assess our internal landscape and stay true to ourselves. By doing the internal work, we not only create plans for external success but also ensure personal growth.
[21:47] How do you guide people through their sticking points, and what's it like for you when you witness them embracing something unfamiliar and achieving a win?
Honestly, the best feeling in the world. So, one of the newest bodies of work that I brought into my coaching practice is nervous system work. It's exactly what you said that we can't grow beyond our own capacity. If our nervous system doesn't believe or feels unsafe about our next level, we're not going to get ourselves, or we're going to subconsciously sabotage. So, I work with a practitioner that does something called body mapping. And so, it's a practice of somatic practice. I had people in my group program that were like, oh, no, I never heard of this. This is a little weird. We did a group session together. Then somebody messaged me afterward like, hey, I'm feeling stuck on taking action. I was like, do the body mapping. She messages me after she's like, I reached out to everybody that I was supposed to. I have two new clients. This whole thing shifted. I tried to do an hour meditation beforehand. It didn't work. But the body mapping shifted me in 15 minutes, and it's like, when tools work for people. I think it's so exciting, and my favorite thing to do is not tell them but show them because once you show them and involve them, then they understand they've seen the shift for themselves.
[24:10] Who would be the ideal person for you to encounter, someone you'd think, "This is the perfect fit for me to work with"?
Typically, those who seek my guidance are individuals who've successfully climbed the career ladder, reaching what they thought they "should" achieve, similar to my own journey and possibly yours. However, upon reaching the summit, they realize it lacks the freedom and joy they anticipated. Instead, they feel trapped in a performance, leading to burnout, frustration, anger, resentment, and other familiar themes we discussed earlier. This deep dissatisfaction becomes a turning point when they approach me, driven by profound discomfort. It's at this juncture that they commit to playing full-out, refusing to remain in their current state. This discomfort becomes the catalyst for a transformative shift, prompting them to embrace new beliefs and behaviors, ultimately shaping a different reality.
[25:22] Are there ways to hasten the process of reaching a point where you wake up to a life and think, "You know what, this is it"?
Certainly, one of the best practices for this is novelty. When talking about staying in your comfort zone, no matter how dysfunctional it has become, my comfort zone was a job that was killing me and was wildly dysfunctional, but I knew it, so it was comfortable, even though the other side was way nicer. So when we introduce novelty in our lives, let's say I decide to take up a new sport or I take up pottery, I'm getting new information and sensory input in my body. And when I get new sensory input in my body, my mindset shifts, my nervous system shifts, so I can actually see more clearly, think more creatively, and find my way out and through. So if you feel like you're close to your shift moment but you just can't get there, I would say introduce novelty. Take up a new sport, a new activity, a new way of moving, flowing, meeting new groups of people because that novelty will create the space for you to think more creatively, more clearly, and take action towards what you really want to learn.
[28:20] What areas are you currently exploring or expanding within yourself to effectively lead and guide the people you work with?
In my work, the essence is truly helping people understand themselves, leading to better decisions in their careers and the creation of fulfilling businesses and jobs. For me, it's about a profound inner knowing. When considering future-proofing our careers, especially in the age of AI, I emphasize the development of our human qualities – what used to be termed soft skills but are now rightfully called power skills. I appreciate this rebranding because these skills hold immense power. The more empathy we cultivate and the greater psychological safety we provide, the better our world becomes. I firmly believe these aspects will remain crucial, whether or not AI is present. I constantly delve deeper into exploring how we can bring more of our humanity to the forefront. I feel that we've only just begun to tap into the potential of creating environments where people feel fully safe to express their authenticity, and there's considerable room for growth and exploration in this aspect.
[29:45] How do individuals reach that point, and what's your approach to guiding them towards that destination?
Engaging in this practice is crucial as I used to overly care about others' opinions, rooted in a people-pleasing nervous system state. Recognizing these behaviors and taking small actions to shift over time is key; awareness is 80% of it. With age, entering my fourth decade, I find myself caring less, a liberating shift that's a continuous practice. Returning to your question, identity plays a significant role. Those with non-dominant identities may find this practice challenging as the world can feel less psychologically safe. Fostering internal safety allows us to be ourselves outwardly, caring less about external opinions.
[37:20] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
It's a captivating story. During a guided meditation, I connected with God before entering this lifetime. In our conversation, there was a sort of squabble about returning, but I was reminded of my commitment to help others in this lifetime, especially those who are underrepresented. My purpose is to assist people in discovering purpose, peace, and prosperity, with a specific focus on historically excluded individuals. I believe I'm equipped to provide the love, energy, and compassion needed as a catalyst for their growth.
Key Quotes
[19:23-19:27] What's on the side is always better than where we are.
[26:45-26:48] Motion changes emotion
How to connect with Amina Al Tai
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aminaaltai
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/aminaaltai
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/aminaaltai
Tue, 23 Jan 2024 - 38min - 404 - What it Takes to Climb to Greatness with Jake and Gino
In today’s episode, we have the opportunity to feature Jake and Gino. These guys have notched up some impressive wins in the multifamily arena. What sets them apart is not just their real estate victories but the human touch behind their success—their mindset, approach, and the strategic steps they took to climb the ladder. Whether you're eyeing multifamily ventures or dreaming of building a lasting legacy, this episode is a must-listen. Get ready to peek into the minds of these winners, challenge your thinking, and perhaps feel a bit uncomfortable. So, armor up, open your mind, and let's dive into this episode.
[2:05] Jake, Why should I listen to you?First and foremost, I never initiate conversations with strangers at a coffee shop. These days, I tend to keep to myself and spend time in the woods. Despite this, I believe you should consider my perspective due to my extensive experience. Jim and I have had a successful journey in both the general business and multifamily sectors. While many individuals in our field offer coaching services, what sets us apart is our team of over 80 dedicated members. We've cultivated a portfolio of $70 million in multifamily assets, actively managing them, and one of the things I am particularly proud of is our real-life experience and consistent success, achieving a remarkable 20% year-over-year increase in top-line revenues for an extended period.
[4:15] Gino, Why should I listen to you?To me, building a connection starts with genuine curiosity. I'd want to learn about Anthony Trucks first, his story, and what makes him tick. I believe this approach applies to any relationship or business interaction. People are interested when they feel heard and valued. As for my partnership with Jake, it all boils down to value-based decision-making. When we connected in 2009, we didn't realize it, but our values aligned perfectly. From family to integrity and hard work, our core values were in sync. That alignment has been the key to our successful partnership for over 15 years. It's about not letting each other down and doing things for your partner that you wouldn't do for yourself.
[8:18] You've mentioned that partnerships often don't work. Can you share instances where you've seen partnerships fail and identify common pitfalls or mistakes people make in such situations?One thing I want to emphasize is that whenever I undertake something, I always have my kids in mind. Every endeavor I pursue and every dollar I earn is for the benefit of him and his family. I come from a hardworking background, having started working at the age of eight. This is not an exaggeration; I've genuinely held a job since then, and I've been running my own business for over 20 years. I've faced numerous challenges and persevered through various hardships. I won't tolerate someone younger than me suggesting I need to step up my game. If that's the case, they should work for someone else because they're not suited to be a partner. It's a harsh reality, but that's the truth. Entrepreneurship can be tough, and at times, it can feel isolating. I can't have someone telling me to step up when I've been working hard my entire life. I believe in being a man and facing challenges head-on. I've never had to ask Jake to fulfill his responsibilities, even when he had COVID during one of our events. He showed up, took the stage, and didn't make excuses. That's the mindset and commitment I expect from a partner.
[15:14] What led you both to venture into multifamily, especially coming from backgrounds in sales and the pizza business?My mom, as an immigrant, owned a couple of buildings, and I saw the power of real estate. I wanted something passive. I wanted to make a little bit of extra income, and I just wanted to start with a couple of small buildings with Jake. I didn't want to buy single-family homes because I think that multifamily is scalable. If we buy a 10-unit, you can buy a 30-unit, then a 50-unit. So that, for me, is why multifamily. I didn't know the tax benefits. I didn't know the principal paydown. I didn't know about the forced appreciation. I know all these other benefits of multifamily. I just saw the cash flow. I wanted to get paid every single month for owning a business. I didn't know at the time that if you look at real estate, you should buy it not only as an actual asset investment but also as a mini-business.
[17:00] Were there any hesitations when transitioning to multifamily from your previous pursuits, and what is the typical mental barrier that people often encounter in this shift?Jake: Jacob is the key factor - it's all about mindset. Many believe real estate is only for property owners, but, like solving the credit issue for your first car, it's attainable. Back in the day, listening to audiobooks like "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" and "Man in Babylon," I started shaping my mindset. The final push came with the Sunshine Act and healthcare reform. My pharmaceutical career, initially a good fit, turned into a mismatched quasi-government job. Feeling out of place, I sought a new path. Influenced by Geno, Dr. Nashi, and various audiobooks, I lacked formal real estate training until Gino became my mentor. Together, with boots on the ground, we made it happen.
Gino: Before meeting Jake, my investments were scattered across various areas. However, once I established a framework and committed to multifamily, things took off. It took 18 months to secure the first deal, but afterward, momentum built rapidly. The key is to start small, focusing on one deal at a time. Don't let the initial challenges deter you; multifamily is just another investment, and the learning curve pays off. Believe in your ability to navigate the commercial space, regardless of your background. Constant practice, learning, and surrounding yourself with multifamily-focused individuals are essential. Don't be afraid to start anew; the transition will be worth it in the end.[24:23] Did you approach the decision to enter multifamily with a step-by-step mindset, or was it an immediate commitment?
I recently read "Mindset" by Carol Dweck, a book I believe everyone should read. It explores the fixed and growth mindsets that can exist in different aspects of life. This distinction is crucial, especially for parents, as the way we encourage our kids can impact their mindset. A growth mindset, as exemplified by Jordan, involves constant learning and perseverance, while a fixed mindset, like McEnroe's, tends to blame external factors. In the context of money, understanding the psychology of money is vital. Examine your relationship with money—do you have a fixed, abundance, or scarcity mindset? The key is recognizing that real estate or multifamily opportunities aren't holding you back; it's your perspective. For me, discovering my growth mindset in certain areas and fixed mindset in others led me to be mindful of how I communicate with my kids to avoid instilling fixed mindsets in certain aspects of their lives.
[26:45] Did you encounter opposition or skepticism from individuals who were against your move into multifamily?
Jake: Yeah, it just happened recently with him going public about his mom, mentioning he had 300 to 200 units before sharing it with her, and now they're in business together. In contrast, I kept my real estate ventures quiet initially. While working at a pharmaceutical company, I started investing but didn't share much with family or friends. Only my wife knew about my deals. It wasn't until we reached 800 units that we went public, wrote a book, and started a podcast. Initially, I was like a "closet case" with it, perhaps due to fear of rejection or not thinking it was cool enough. However, we eventually reached a point where we felt comfortable sharing on a larger scale.
Gino: Progressing in life requires a shift in identity. Despite being known as the "pizza guy" with a restaurant for 20 years, I had to work intensely to adopt a multifamily investor mindset. This involved consistent actions like calling brokers, participating in podcasts, doing property tours, and engaging with investors. I immersed myself in the role, shedding the old identity. Weekly podcasts and conversations with notable figures like Robert Kiyosaki boosted my confidence. Having Jake as an accountability partner was crucial. While working in the kitchen, it's challenging to see myself as an investor, but regular calls with Jake reinforced my commitment. At some point, you have to declare, "I'm all in," and that shift in identity was transformative for me.
[30:00] What unexpected positives have you both encountered in your multifamily journey? Are there aspects that pleasantly surprised you, perhaps hidden behind the initial fears, such as newfound freedom or control?The realization of my deep desire for autonomy pushed me out of the corporate job faster. Creativity stifled in the corporate box surfaced, leading to the creation of fun and amazing projects with no limits on working hours. The thought of retirement is daunting; I want to stay engaged and active in business, as it fulfills my competitive spirit and provides opportunities. Autonomy was a significant factor in my journey. Gino's understanding of the business, coupled with the scalability of the model, allowed us to stack successes and create a snowball effect of cash flow. Learning about cost segregation studies, tax benefits, and financial strategies like refinance and roll came through hands-on experience. A big shout-out to Gino for helping me transition into the entrepreneurial space, where the chains came off and we sprinted together. My passion for this journey is evident, and the excitement continues.
[33:05] What's a surprising and unique positive outcome from your multifamily journey that you didn't initially foresee?In the early to mid-2000s, I was immersed in the teachings of mentors like T. Harv Eker, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, and Robert Kiyosaki. Fast forward to today, and I'm not just learning from them; they're in my inner circle, featured on my podcast. It's mind-blowing to share ideas with them. Finding something I loved and transitioning from a challenging restaurant business to an enjoyable venture was pivotal. I wanted my children to see work as both fulfilling and enjoyable, moving from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. Now, I understand that money is a result, an opportunity, not the sole reason for business. Creating impact and exploring various opportunities are equally significant. My mindset has evolved significantly over the last decade.
[36:38] What legacy do you aim to leave through your education company? Is it about brand recognition or the impact on individuals?Family and relationships are paramount for me. Working with my wife on our podcast, "The Julian Gino Show," has been incredibly fulfilling. I challenge the misconception that working with a spouse is difficult. I'm passionate about helping people understand that money is a tool, teaching them its value, and instilling these lessons in their children. Family is the most crucial aspect of life, and the breakdown of family dynamics over the generations has visible consequences. I've been married for 25 years, and while it comes with challenges, the commitment is for the long term. Raising children is one of the most gratifying experiences, contributing to the legacy we leave through them. I encourage fathers to reclaim their role as role models and providers for their families.
[45:00] How do you assist others in entering the same world you currently navigate?Our approach is grounded in the "By right, manage right, finance right" process. This framework, applicable to various ventures, ensures a methodical approach. Whether buying a single-family home or a business, understanding how to acquire it is crucial. The management aspect involves constant motion, backed by extensive resources like in-person boot camps, coaching, weekly lessons, and monthly mastermind calls. The emphasis is on accountability, providing coaching, and a supportive community where individuals can share experiences, seek advice, and find encouragement in their real estate journey.
[48:03] What promise did God or the creator make to the world when they created you?For me, it's about being a role model for my kids and taking care of my wife. Ensuring the well-being of the family is my priority. I resonate with Jake's sentiment of putting effort into what I do, emphasizing continuous improvement, and leaning into every opportunity.
Key Quotes
[19:20-19:23] Knowledge isn’t power unless you implement it
[22:40-22:44] If you have a dream that can be done by just you, you don’t need more people; that dream is big enough.
How to connect with Jake and Gino
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jakeandgino
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jakeandgino
Website: https://jakeandgino.com
Tue, 16 Jan 2024 - 50min - 403 - Build a Beautiful Life and Business with Tessa E Arnold
In today's episode, we have Tessa Arnold sharing her compelling story. Tessa's life journey has been marked by significant losses at a young age and later in life. Despite facing these challenges, she has excelled in both the corporate banking world and in taking charge of an entrepreneurial venture. Her unique experiences, coupled with the grace she brings to them, stand out. Tessa's focus on the Six Pillars of life forms a foundation for achieving remarkable success in any life situation. So, without further ado, let's delve into the episode.
[1:55] Why should I listen to you?
That's a compelling question. Right off the bat, I tend to approach people with openness. I genuinely love meeting people and hearing about their new experiences. My comfort in being vulnerable comes from recognizing our shared humanity and interconnected journeys. So, I essentially spontaneously lower my guard. If more of us embraced this approach, the experience could become more beautiful and profound. The immediate outcome would likely be a genuine smile, engagement, and a sincere intention to connect. Imagine putting down your phone, turning to someone, and asking, "How are you doing today? What's going on?" Through this practice of giving complete attention, embracing vulnerability, and expressing a genuine interest in getting to know each other, meaningful conversations can be sparked.
[4:38] Where did that sense originate from? Was it a constant part of your childhood, perhaps influenced by your siblings at some point?
I believe my inclination to connect with people comes from my parents. My father, a broker associate with a real estate firm, had a genuine interest in people that went beyond the professional setting. He had a beautiful way of disarming individuals through humor, smiling, and openness. I learned a lot from observing him and how people naturally gravitated towards him. He could enter a room without knowing anyone and leave with everyone considering him their best friend. Growing up in the countryside and a beach town, where activities were limited, sparked my curiosity about the world around me. This curiosity has carried into my current ventures in consumer engagement, entrepreneurship, and lifestyle coaching. Particularly in today's post-pandemic world, where demands on our attention are constant, human connection holds the potential to heal. I strongly feel that with the platforms we have, there is a responsibility in the information we share. Now, more than ever, human connection is crucial, and it has become a focal point in my life.
[10:54] Can you briefly share your story and the reason behind your shift in focus?
Growing up in a small beach town, I faced early challenges with loss—my father at 12 and my brother at 17. Despite these profound moments, I recognized the fragility of life and the need to take charge of my destiny. As the eldest with two younger siblings, I navigated the responsibilities that came with the tragedies, understanding the impact on our lives. I embarked on my own journey, made mistakes, and found my way into commercial banking, where I excelled for 12 years, building a family along the way. Despite external success, I felt an unsettling emptiness and a disconnect from my true self. It took a toll on me, and eventually, my life began to unravel from the inside out. The discomfort grew, and I started questioning my existence and purpose. While supporting my husband in his new business venture, our relationship faced challenges, and we eventually lost him. Left with two young children, I found myself at a crossroads, still working in banking but now part of a business that became a beacon in the storm. Terrified but determined, I made a pivotal decision to leave commercial banking and take the reins of our shared dream. The transition was daunting, and I faced many nights questioning my ability to succeed. However, driven by the need for change, I embraced the challenge. The process was not easy, but I simultaneously managed both roles for a year, navigating the difficulties without proper self-care tools.
[15:40] How did your past losses—losing your father and brother influence your emotional approach to handling the business during challenging times?
The moment I had to tell my children about their father's passing mirrored the loss of my own father when I was 12. Life's journey unfolds without a predetermined reason; things just are. Reflecting on past traumatic events, I had already done considerable work on myself, viewing those experiences through a lens that brought comfort, shaped by faith and personal growth. Guiding my children through grief, I saw an opportunity to provide them and my younger self with the support I lacked at 12. I recognized the chance to heal all three of us, incorporating significant elements like grief counseling and navigating through loss. Though it may seem, in retrospect, that the healing happened overnight, the reality was filled with moments of darkness and feeling lost. Letting go of control was challenging, akin to holding sand or water in your hands—the tighter you grasp, the more slips away. In my journey, I aimed to learn from the experience and guide my children to the best of my ability, acknowledging that being a mother is my most significant role in this world.
[20:15] With notable shifts in your life, leading to personal growth, you've now ventured into a new business and engaging in these conversations. Can you share more about this phase of your journey?
Here I am running Snapback Energy, a supplement business that I decided to make my own in memory of my late husband. We successfully launched the business, and I feel he would be extremely proud of what we've achieved so far. The core message of Snapback Energy is a call to action for mindful health, emphasizing the importance of being conscious about what we consume and finding balance in life. My kids serve as my North Stars, guiding me through moments of darkness and motivating me to wake up each day with a purpose—for them and for myself. With them in mind, I took on the challenge of launching the business and delving into entrepreneurship. It was a terrifying leap, leaving the security of my job at the bank, which happened this past January. I had initially resigned in August of the year before, but the team at the bank countered my offer, and I stayed until January. In the past 11 months, we expanded our product line by introducing another flavor—orange. Simultaneously, I embarked on a solo retreat abroad, delving into mindset training and discovering a new passion for flowers. This journey has been a significant pivot, pushing me toward a soloist expression and a deeper exploration of entrepreneurship.
[22:35] Facing life without fatherly advice, aiming to shield your kids from a similar experience, you've prioritized continuous growth. Is this journey becoming easier or more challenging for you?
There's a profound truth in ancient Vedic texts and various forms of knowledge – the wisdom within us is our true guide. When you turn inward, you find that your innate wisdom is already present; it's not something external to seek. While knowledge is acquired through seeking, wisdom is an integral part of us, always accessible. In stories of prophets, sages, or teachers, a common theme is the idea that when you're ready, the teacher will find you. However, the realization dawns that wisdom is an inherent aspect of ourselves. The journey involves continuous growth and expansion. Embracing self-honor and sharing one's unique gifts with the world is crucial. Each individual brings a distinctive perspective, thoughts, and feelings, creating a unique expression. Recognizing the power of intention, attention, action, and thoughts in self-care, you become magnetic, emitting an electromagnetic field up to six feet ahead. The relationships formed along this journey, be it with a partner or friends, may seem spontaneous but carry profound meaning. These connections and conversations, occurring organically, contribute to personal growth and expansion, creating a beautiful gift that continues to shape and enrich life.
[25:50] Concerning your second business, which I'm aware of but haven't discussed, could you briefly share what it entails?
I am an RA Vedic Health and Lifestyle Coach. Ra Veda, a 5000-year-old Vedic system predating modern medicine, is the science of life. Simply put, it embodies the wisdom within ourselves that often gets lost in the busyness of the world. EM even in 2023, with constant distractions and burdens, we forget that we are inherently equipped to lead a balanced and peaceful life. To address this, I've launched Balanced View Coach at balancedview.com. Through one-on-one coaching or breakthrough sessions, I guide individuals through the six pillars of health, providing resources and showing them how to achieve balance simply and swiftly in their daily lives.
[42:20] Anything to share about this beautiful saying of leaving people better than you found them?
Here's an intuitive thing to do: show that you have boundaries, and teach people the beauty of the word "no." No is a complete sentence. Teach yourself to recognize what doesn't serve you and use that powerful word. Whether it's a job, a relationship, or any situation, remember that you have this one shot at life in your current form. There's no need for stuckness; have the conversations, do the things, and focus on your growth. Another crucial aspect we discuss is emotional well-being, a pillar of health in our Vedic practice. Going within is key. Sometimes people avoid self-reflection, seeking distractions outside themselves, as looking within can be challenging. But embracing brokenness is essential. It's a beautiful aspect of life, allowing the light and love to shine through the cracks.
[49:22] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That I would not leave this world with any of my gifts left unused.
Key Quotes
[18:55-19:05] Don’t tell your children how to be; show them instead. Be an embodiment
[36:55-37:00] One of the biggest mistakes people make is being stuck in a situation
How to connect with Tessa A Arnold
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tess_elizabeth1
Website: https://balanceofyou.com
Tue, 09 Jan 2024 - 51min - 402 - How to Unleash Your Greatness with Dena Patton
In today’s episode, our guest is Dena Patton. This episode explores ascension in her work with high-level individuals, uncovering battles CEOs and executives face behind the scenes. It also focuses on three crucial areas essential for creating something remarkable. Deena shares insights on maintaining these foundations to avoid unexpected challenges. The conversation also touches on her personal journey, from leaving her location to building and selling businesses in New York. Without further ado, let's dive into the episode for these insightful perspectives.
[1:55] Why should I listen to you?You should consider listening to me because I consistently share fantastic stories. Having lived through various experiences, I always have engaging and enjoyable tales to tell. Additionally, I am genuinely interested in people's origin stories, delving into what drives them, their passions, and the dreams they are actively pursuing. Engaging in conversations about one's identity, purpose, and aspirations is what I find truly enjoyable, making it a worthwhile experience for you.
[3:18] So if you don't mind, could you go back to the steps that kind of led you here?The journey that brought me here is quite intricate. I've always pursued my dreams, followed my intuition, and stayed within my strengths. Course correction is something I embrace, unafraid of the possibility of failure. At 21, I, originally from Phoenix, Arizona, embarked on a significant dream—to move to New York City. Selling my belongings for $2,000, I ventured to the city with a passion, eventually starting my first business, a PR and marketing agency specializing in the entertainment realm. Despite a background in professional dance and acting, I transitioned to the other side of the camera, finding fulfillment in producing, directing, and casting. The allure of storytelling led me to choose between becoming a writer or pursuing PR and marketing. I chose the latter, enjoying the art of sharing people's stories through traditional media channels like newspapers and magazines. However, my entrepreneurial journey faced a turning point. I neglected self-care, relationships, and well-being. At 27, I experienced a minor stroke, prompting a profound reassessment of my life, gifts, and priorities. The realization dawned that self-care is crucial for business owners. I had to acknowledge the importance of saying no to the wrong clients and prioritize my well-being, emphasizing the need for a balanced approach to mind, body, and spirit.
[5:53] Are there any moments in time prior to this trip that gave you red flags, or was it just that one that woke you up?Reflecting on the past, there were numerous red flags, especially considering this was 22 years ago, a time marked by hustle and business building in the early days of the internet. Despite challenges, I sold my business to a.com, gaining valuable experience in scaling websites and memberships during a year-long consultancy. This laid the foundation for my subsequent venture into business coaching and training. Navigating through hardships has taught me crucial lessons, such as the importance of a CEO self-care plan, encompassing mind, body, and spirit. Over 22 years of coaching CEOs and entrepreneurs, I've witnessed that neglecting personal well-being while focusing solely on business leads to a collapse of the mind, body, and spirit. It's essential to simultaneously build your business and nurture your holistic well-being, including aspects like life, marriage, and parenting.
[8:40] How does someone initially overcome the stage of the ego, particularly when they're a leader? What do those actions look like on a day-to-day basis?There is often resistance from the ego to acknowledge the importance of mind, body, and spirit. Some might dismiss it as "woowoo" or fluffy, but I've learned that it forms the crucial foundation. Just like a house needs a solid foundation to stand, your mind, body, and spirit are the fuel that sustains your business or leadership role. Shifting the mindset to recognize its significance is vital because building a business involves constant challenges, ups and downs, and diverse personalities pulling you in various directions. Without a solid foundation in mind, body, and spirit, I've observed over my 22 years of experience that people can fall apart, facing the brink of physical, mental, or relational breakdowns. Unfortunately, some come to me reactively after such crises, while others, about two-thirds, are proactive in seeking support to maintain balance and resilience in their personal and professional lives.
[10:55] If I want to be proactive about working on my mind and spirit, what would be actual genuine actions?Having a concrete plan is crucial, especially for someone like me who thrives on systems and structure. For those looking for a template, greatness.com offers a free one that can be downloaded and printed, focusing on mind, body, and spirit. What's key is recognizing that what fuels my mind, body, and spirit might differ from what works for you. The initial step involves understanding what that personalized plan looks like. My CEO self-care plan, outlined in the template, includes daily, weekly, and monthly intentional activities for mind, body, and spirit. For the body, prioritizing sleep, exposure to sunlight, regular movement, and exercise is fundamental. The spirit aspect involves activities aligned with your spirituality; for me, it's Christian practices like prayer and meditation for at least 30 minutes daily. Nurturing a strong spirit is essential for the challenges a business may bring over time. As you envision your business growing, you don't want your spirit to be easily broken by criticism, judgment, or the demands of stakeholders. Mentally, I delve into these principles in my book "The Greatness Game."
[13:15] Is there a way someone can figure out what their spirit needs for improvement?The spiritual aspect is distinct from the mental game. In my book, "The Greatness Game," I delve into mindset methodology and mental resilience. The goal is to ensure that in the process, your mindset, body, and spirit remain unbroken. Spiritually, it's about maintaining the energy, connection, and purpose that fuels your endeavors. For me, integrating God into my business is essential, providing strength as I navigate a demanding global schedule. Regardless of religious beliefs, everyone needs to identify what brings spiritual, mental, and physical fulfillment on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis to excel as a CEO or leader. The key is understanding yourself on a deeper level and starting with a couple of practices if needed—perfection isn't the goal; self-awareness is. Whether you're aiming to grow from a $10 million to a $20 million company, remember that the journey involves transforming into a $20 million CEO.
[19:50] If someone decides to join Bible study groups, how do they navigate interactions with individuals who may be passive-aggressive or unaware of their actions?I resonate with that because we've all faced haters and judgers, right? It's crucial to embrace your journey, not just in business but as a continuous process. We're always evolving, and that journey might face judgment. Own it. I'm on the path to becoming a million-dollar CEO, learning in mind, body, spirit, leadership, and communication. The tool set for a $9 plus business differs greatly from a $200,000 business. Embrace your journey—classes, coaches, books, or Bible studies—without apology or over-explanation. I prefer checklists on my template, holding me accountable in daily, weekly, and monthly actions. No apologies for this journey. Ego might suggest hiding or deeming it wrong, but it's your path. Be discerning about sharing details, whether it's a Bible study or a new methodology. Your journey and goals don't require constant explanation from everyone. Maintain privacy around your next moves, even with your team. Being a powerful CEO involves discernment—strategically sharing and not blurting out everything to everyone. That's the key.
[23:24] Where do your clients typically find a supportive community or a group that fosters growth? Is it among other CEOs, or is it through low powwows with you?That's a great insight because we often fall into the routine of being part of groups without taking a step back. It's crucial, especially on an international scale, to carefully choose a couple of groups. One should be within your trade, like my involvement in a coaching Federation for coaches, ensuring constant education and improvement within my profession. For CEOs seeking positive communities, it's vital to find local and live groups, stepping away from online interactions. Whether it's a mastermind group, an entrepreneur group, or a leadership group, it's essential to test it out. Look for groups that are growth-oriented, not just social gatherings. Evaluate if the people in the group can genuinely contribute to your growth, people you admire and can brainstorm with or build referral relationships. If these aspects are missing, it's likely not the right fit. Being part of groups, especially for entrepreneurs like myself with 27 years of experience, has been instrumental in personal and professional growth. Sometimes I stay in groups for an extended period, like six or seven years, and other times, I join shorter-term, high-level masterminds based on my current business needs. It's crucial to assess where you are in your CEO mindset and business trajectory, selecting a group that aligns with your goals.
[33:45] Has your brand been designed in a way that allows you to step away, and someone else can take the torch and carry it?It's an interesting question about productizing ourselves, a trend many have embraced by packaging into programs and evergreen content. Personally, I haven't gone down that road. My focus has been one-on-one coaching and group retreats, which, while not exactly productizing, has become well-established, especially with international retreats run by a dedicated team. On a different note, my nonprofit, the Girls Royal Foundation, which offers empowerment and leadership programs for teen girls, is a productized aspect that operates independently.
Sc capturing your brilliance and purpose is crucial regardless of the form it takes, be it books, products, or courses. It's about ensuring your gifts and greatness don't just stay with you but contribute to the world. For me, having a successful book is one way, but the essence is putting your legacy and brilliance into something tangible so it endures beyond you.
[40:10] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?That I would help people with their gifts, their greatness and their purpose to be out in the world in great ways.
Key Quotes[33:08-33:14] One thing that most people lack understanding of is not just you achieving something; it's becoming what you've alluded to.
[35:20-35:25] It’s important to get your brilliance, get your purpose into something, a book, a product, or something because it matters.How to connect with Dena Patton
Instagram: https://www.instagram/denamariepatton
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin/denampatton
Website: https://denapatton.comTue, 02 Jan 2024 - 42min - 401 - How to Claim Your Space with Eliza VanCort
Welcome back to the Awwshift Podcast. I'm your host, Anthony Trucks. Today's guest is Eliza VanCort, the author of the book "Claiming Space." It's a fascinating exploration of how to authentically embody the person you aspire to be, both internally and externally. The concept of "anti-mentor" is also discussed, shedding light on those individuals who inadvertently undermine our growth. You'll discover more about what anti-mentors are and how to navigate relationships with them. Eliza shares insights gained from a traumatic injury that impacted her short-term memory, offering a unique perspective on the importance of effective communication.
[2:48] Why should I listen to you?
Oh, that's an interesting question. I haven't been asked that before. Why should you pay attention to what I have to say? Well, I believe my life experiences, filled with both wisdom and a mix of joy and sadness, have shaped me into an interesting conversationalist. People who have navigated challenges often have compelling stories and insights to share.
[3:30] What races have you run that gave you a challenge?
Wow, it's quite a journey. I had a wonderful mom in my early years, but when I was four and a half, she developed paranoid schizophrenia. I went through the trauma of being kidnapped by her three times, traveling from New York to California hitchhiking, and stopping at truck stops. This experience deeply affected me, leading me to associate invisibility with safety. It ignited my passion for claiming space. Despite becoming a teacher and enjoying a good life, I still struggled to assert myself. Later, a head injury challenged my communication skills, forcing me to rebuild them from scratch. These two experiences profoundly changed me and taught me valuable lessons.
[5:00] Before we delve into the story, could you provide some insight into your book and the concept of reclaiming space?
I authored a book titled "A Woman's Guide to Claiming Space: Stand Tall, Raise Your Voice, Be Heard." For me, claiming space is about living your chosen life unapologetically and bravely. True bravery, in my view, isn't the absence of fear; it's confronting fear with action. The book is structured into five parts, offering direct guidance on how to assert oneself and claim space.
[5:58] How did your experiences with your mom, particularly the cross-country incidents, inspire the concept of claiming space, and how can people who haven't gone through similar experiences connect emotionally with this idea?
Well, I think everyone has had that moment in their life where they just feel so small, and they feel like everyone around them is somehow able to speak their mind and say what they want to say. And somehow they don't feel like they have the right to do it. We’ve all had anti-mentors along the way who read about my book, anti-mentors who tell you that you're not enough. And I think for me, claiming space isn't about becoming someone different. It's about me becoming your most fully realized authentic self and that's a lifelong journey for all of us.
[8:10] What was it like for you as a police officer to watch and subject yourself to those emotions? Can you recall the moments when you couldn't remember?
It was surreal. I was involved in an accident while riding my bike, following all the rules, when someone who was texting and driving hit me in the head with their car. I suffered a black bilateral brain injury and a subdural hematoma. When I regained consciousness, I walked downstairs to find my ex-husband and kids, and there was a large spread of food on the table. Confused, I asked how it was possible, and he informed me that Tina had brought it over. Tina is the friend who seems to sense when someone needs a casserole from a distance. It struck me how time had passed without my awareness, making it challenging to learn and grow when the events were shrouded in amnesia. I likened it to a country going to war without remembering who started it, making it impossible to fix.
[9:58] Can you share the journey or process you went through to reach the point you're at now? Did it involve specific healing tactics, or did it unfold naturally over time?
The recovery of my memory gradually improved every day, but communication, which was severely compromised, didn't naturally come back. Realizing my struggle to communicate, I initially contemplated withdrawing from life, sinking into depression with thoughts of whether I could continue. However, lying in bed indefinitely wasn't a viable life strategy. So, I decided to embark on the challenging journey of rebuilding my communication skills from scratch. It was a lengthy and arduous process, yet remarkably enlightening. Eventually, I felt like I had cracked the code of communication, turning it into a kind of superpower—an unexpected outcome from a difficult experience.
[11:09] What specific challenges did you face in communication during your recovery? Was it primarily related to verbal expression and articulating thoughts?
When I reached out to my friend Kim, expressing confusion about people acting strangely around me, she candidly pointed out that it was me acting differently. My vocabulary was impaired, and I was speaking slowly, making everyone uncomfortable. Seeking another opinion from a friend who is a nurse, she bluntly remarked that I sounded like a stoned third-grader.
[12:28] When you confronted the realization of the communication challenges, how did it feel, and what steps did you take to address and overcome it?
My educational background is in political science, and I initially pursued a career in acting. After a detour to law school, I found my passion in teaching the Sanford Meisner technique for 20 years. This approach delves into the intricacies of human behavior, encouraging a deep understanding of both oneself and others. Combining this with my political science background, I recognized the impact of various factors like race, age, and background on communication. Confronted with one-size-fits-all communication advice, often tailored to a specific demographic, I delved into research and observation to reconstruct my communication style. Through this process, I gained profound insights into communication and the concept of claiming space.
[14:58] How does that equate or carry over into the realm of this claiming space concept of being authentically you?
In the initial stages, being an extrovert who loves to talk, I had to adapt my approach as I would get fatigued easily. This compelled me to observe and listen more, offering a unique and valuable experience. Initially focused on communication, especially regarding how some individuals, particularly women, effortlessly command a room, I sought to identify the key factor behind this ability. However, I soon discovered that there are five essential elements contributing to this capacity, allowing individuals to lead a fully realized life. This revelation was genuinely surprising to me.
[15:45] How do certain people enter a room and assertively control the space?
The five aspects of claiming space are crucial. Firstly, effective communication involves mastering your physicality and voice to command attention. Secondly, building a supportive community is vital, shielding against negativity and anti-mentors. Thirdly, everyone faces life's boulders; instead of overcoming them, whittle them down into manageable pebbles for inner strength. Combatting efforts to make you small is the fourth aspect, shutting down aggressors skillfully. Lastly, embracing intersectionality, especially for white women, fosters better outcomes, as learning from diverse experiences enriches and uplifts everyone.
[21:10] What's the process for breaking free from anti-mentors and creating a sense of liberation?
Certainly, I believe there's no clear-cut definition for it. In my understanding, an "anti-mentor" should ideally be your greatest supporter, uplifting you. However, they end up making you feel small and diminished. This is often achieved through intermittent reinforcement, a tactic also observed in gambling, where the occasional big win keeps individuals hooked. Regardless of your actions, dealing with these anti-mentors involves facing constant criticism, punctuated by occasional praise. The study on mice, pulling a lever for intermittent rewards, draws parallels to human behavior in seeking sporadic affirmation. This pattern can lead individuals to persistently engage in self-destructive behaviors.
[23:53] Do you ever have that kind of experience?
To begin with, it's crucial to identify these anti-mentors. I've outlined a comprehensive checklist in my book, offering different indicators of what makes someone an anti-mentor. Once you're certain, there are two approaches. The first involves neutralizing them, a method I delve into, and the second is removing them from your life. However, both paths necessitate a crucial initial step — a grieving process. Recognizing that they'll never provide the support you seek when you need it is foundational. It's about realizing you don't have to continually put yourself in a vulnerable position, akin to Charlie Brown hoping to kick the football, only to have it pulled away repeatedly. The first step in liberating yourself from an anti-mentor involves deciding not to play that game anymore.
[30:20] How do people break out of their emotional comfort zones in intense moments, like running full speed or yelling loudly?
I think teaching is like an art for kids, and I'm sure you're good at it if you work with them. You know, you eventually get through to them; you just have to consider all angles. As adults, many of us receive messages when we're young. You're too quiet, too loud—so many "tools”. I mean, the number of messages we get when we're young like I was too much of a space cadet. Now, I get paid to sit around and think about stuff. So, one of the things I always tell people is to sit around and think about stuff. If you start unpacking the messages you were told, it becomes clear that what people criticize might be your strength. You make yourself small to avoid expanding into what people target as a weakness, which is often your strength. If you want to know what you're good at, think about what people told you to stop doing or what they said you weren't good at—not what you thought they told you because that's usually your superpower.
[32:45] How do you navigate the unique qualities of your daughter, like her spacey behavior, while also recognizing and nurturing the remarkable and creative aspects she possesses within that same frame?
That has been significant for me as a parent, given my experience with my nephew and my two sons and daughter. My oldest son struggled with dyslexia and exhibited unique traits. First, he had an intense ability to hyperfocus, making it challenging to divert his attention from a task. For instance, once he started with Legos, getting him to stop was nearly impossible. He also dealt with total time blindness and constant movement; he was incredibly active even before birth, almost breaking my rib. There were moments when I felt overwhelmed and exhausted, unable to keep up with him. However, he later became a three-time National Collegiate cycling champion for the United States, showcasing his ability to hyperfocus and disregard the passage of time. His extraordinary energy found a purpose in cycling. My daughter, on the other hand, was notably oppositional, and now she is a passionate activist for climate change. I strongly believe that the qualities in your child that might drive you crazy are often indicators of their unique strengths and potential.
[43:13] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
The existence of a soul is something I'm still undecided on. However, I hold onto the hope that if we are all genuinely kind to each other, actively listen, and extend compassion, perhaps there is a promise that things will eventually be okay.
Key Quotes
[5:10-5:17] Claiming space is living the life you choose unapologetically and bravely.
[17:57-18:00] Mistakes are the foundation of learning.
How to connect with Eliza Vancort
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elizavancort
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ElizaVanCort
Website: https://www.elizavancort.com
Tue, 26 Dec 2023 - 45min - 400 - How to Close Your Wealth Gap with Rob Luna
Welcome to the Aww Shift podcast! I'm your host, Anthony Trucks. Our guest today is Rob Luna, the founder of the Wealth Academy. With a remarkable background and a passion for helping individuals turn a modest sum, like 100 bucks, into substantial wealth or create a thriving business, Rob has achieved this for himself and numerous clients. We delved into the genuine approach to building wealth, recognizing money as a facilitator for impact and joy in life. As men of faith, our hearts align to focus on meaningful endeavors. Rob shares actionable insights to set you on the right path. Let's dive into the episode with Rob Luna.
[2:15] Why should I listen to you?
You know, I believe I'm like most people—just an average person out there. Not everyone starts with a silver spoon in their mouth. We're all working towards a point where we can take care of our families. I feel like I come from a position that many people can relate to. I've been fortunate enough to meet some very successful individuals and was thrown into a path early in life where I learned valuable lessons ahead of the curve, putting myself in a position to achieve that at an early age. I think that's information I can share. So, if you're not someone who wants to say, "I wish I knew then what I know now," I can help expedite some of those tough lessons for you.
[3:28] What were some of the initial lessons you learned that steered you toward the current path you're on?
Coming from a modest background where sports led me to college, I landed my first internship at a wealth management firm when I was 20. That's when I started learning from very wealthy individuals about how they built their fortunes. Over 24 years, I noticed a few key things. Firstly, many of them were successful professional athletes. Secondly, they were individuals who reached high levels in corporate America, often in the C-suite. And thirdly, the majority were entrepreneurs. So, I learned early on that to achieve the kind of wealth most people aspire to, you need to find a place in one of those categories.
[4:40] In the context of Dark Work, which serves athletes, executives, and entrepreneurs, what differences do you notice among these groups from your perspective and interactions with them?
I find it interesting because we seem to cater to the same demographic of athletes, entrepreneurs, and C-suite executives, and they all share similar traits. It's about having strict discipline, immense drive, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to reach that next level. Whether you're an athlete, an entrepreneur, or a senior-level executive, that's the kind of commitment it requires. Now, considering the statistics, it's undeniably tough to become a professional athlete, but it's almost equally challenging to climb the ranks to the C-suite or establish a successful entrepreneurial venture. So, while there are some differences, they all seem to have more in common than not. I mentioned earlier that in wealth management, I've worked extensively with both professional athletes and entrepreneurs. Interestingly, every athlete I worked with eventually transitioned into entrepreneurship. They didn't want to leave the NFL or MLB only to work for someone else; they wanted to build something themselves and have control over it.
[7:45] When faced with a setback, like getting hit unexpectedly, what key lesson did you quickly apply to move forward and overcome that challenge?
It boiled down to risk management, understanding the potential outcomes, and identifying possible pitfalls before diving into anything. Going all-in on a single venture can be tempting, and if it works out, it's fantastic. However, the reason many people end up with a bad taste in their mouths in areas like real estate or stock investing is that they often neglect playing defense. The key is to avoid going all-in without considering the risks, getting over-leveraged, or lacking a backup plan. Early on, I learned the importance of having a contingency plan. This involves things like maintaining an emergency fund and taking care of the less glamorous aspects of entrepreneurship. It's about ensuring you have a safety net before venturing out, rather than being a cowboy in business without any safeguards.
[9:15] For someone just starting with a month-to-month business, what type of mentorship should they seek, and how can they build towards the principles you've been discussing?
In the early stages of my career, I found myself in a similar spot, playing the risky game of cold-calling wealthy individuals. However, reality struck when I realized I didn't know anyone in those circles. Starting from scratch and accumulating wealth can feel daunting, and there's a moment when taking risks becomes crucial. But before going all-in, there's a fundamental investment that's often overlooked – investing in oneself. As tempting as it may be to go all out, maxing out credit cards with blind faith, it won't yield success without a prior investment in understanding your value proposition. Knowing your client, and delivering a service or message that truly impacts lives requires a solid foundation. I've experienced success because I invested time and effort in myself, honing my skills and understanding my worth. So, my advice to those starting is to go to school, seek mentors, read books, watch YouTube – and educate yourself. There's no excuse for not being informed in today's world. Don't fall into the trap of thinking a single Instagram story makes you a professional.
[11:35] For those starting a business without much experience, what advice do you offer when they feel stuck and believe they've exhausted all options? How do you guide them through this situation?
Well, as you mentioned, he didn't have much business acumen initially, but he developed it over time. Earlier, we talked about mentorship and education. We're all trying to solve the 'if I only knew then what I know now' challenge. I try to use my educational experience to do a SWOT analysis—looking at operational, financial, and value proposition issues. The great thing about YouTube is you can find almost anything, so there's no excuse not to be educated. Spending time studying profitable businesses, and different structures, and identifying gaps in my game has been crucial. Do I have a complete 365 perspective on how to succeed? There are likely areas I'm still improving today, but the good news is there are many resources, like books, YouTube videos, and podcasts, that people can use to fill the gaps in their knowledge.
[13:40] How do you get people into motion?
The problem is that many attend events and read books but don't take action. I've spoken at five events recently, and it's a common issue. People need to find a way for immediate action. For instance, my undergrad didn't teach me much, but in grad school at 38, having run a business for 10 years, I applied information. Combining info with action is a powerful force. In my book, I suggest starting small—a side hustle. It might not take off, but it can lay the groundwork for future success. My first business failed, but through that, I learned. Even my first wealth management firm faced trials before success. Learning, combined with action, provides immediate feedback. You don't need to start big; begin part-time on weekends or evenings. Just get out there and do something."
[15:50] What specific actions, habits, or nuances contribute to the success that people notice you consistently achieving?
I'm a strong believer in frameworks, Anthony. If I'm doing something, I ensure there's a disciplined framework. Time is precious, especially as success comes. Managing time effectively is crucial. Each day, I start with a note card outlining what I aim to accomplish on my desk. While I may not achieve everything, I check off what I've done. If something is off-course from my purpose, I cut it out of my life. For instance, I don't check my email. Through constant evaluation, daily check-ins, and weekly reviews, I stay accountable. Success, in my view, hinges on four factors: focus, clarity, execution, and accountability. You must know what you want to do—not being a barber selling real estate on the side. Get clear on your focus, whether it's specializing in certain areas or home values. Once you have that clarity, execute with a defined path. Finally, accountability is key. Even as a former Division One athlete, I know that without someone pushing me, I won't do all I need to do. Start with self-accountability, then bring in mentors and a board to hold you accountable. These are the four things that consistently help me level up.
[19:05] What are some of the most close to your heart passionate things that you do daily?
My Wealth Academy, launched after selling my wealth management firm, teaches people to manage their wealth and build businesses. Over 20 years, many sought quick stock tips, but starting from scratch, real estate or the stock market alone won't guarantee wealth. For me, it was building businesses, generating unique cash flow, and creating value for eventual sales. Most people with basic abilities can achieve similar success if given access to the right information. Through my academy and book at an affordable price, I aim to empower people on their financial journey. Seeing entrepreneurs in my academy achieve milestones, like buying their first home, is truly gratifying. While not purely altruistic, witnessing others succeed now excites me more than my wins. Being accountable to myself and seeing others triumph is what energizes me at this stage in my life.
[26:40] When I began, the pre-game pressure pushed me to excel. Where in life do you find that balance of comfort and challenge, motivating you to elevate to the next level?
As I've gained more wealth, I've noticed a shift in what motivates and brings happiness. The best definition I've come across is the correlation between personal growth and happiness. It's crucial for us to keep growing, and areas where we get comfortable often become resistant to change. After selling my firm's managing clients an average of $20 million in investable assets, the initial excitement of big wins faded over time. Reflecting on this, I realized it was time for a change. Selling the firm allowed someone else to step in, and now I've shifted to working with individuals who might not even have $500 to invest. It's a more significant challenge, and that's what excites me. While growing someone from $25 million to $40-50 million is achievable for many, helping someone start from nothing and build a business worth three, five, or 10 million in the next five to 10 years is a more challenging task. This challenge is what motivates me today, and building a team to assist individuals at that level is my current driving force.
[29:13] Stepping away from business, how does your family and life purpose connect to the legacy you want to leave behind when you decide to call it a day?
At the end of the day, my primary identity is as a Christian. It's my mission, whether in church, on this podcast, or working with others. Beyond that, I'm a husband and a father, and I believe my greatest legacy will be the impact I've had on people, starting with my family. As a Christian, I strive daily to become the best version of myself, acknowledging growth opportunities in various aspects of life. Prioritizing spirituality, health, and quality time with my family—being present without distractions—is crucial. With a 16-year-old daughter, I've learned the importance of mental presence, making me a better father today. That's my focus now: being a better Christian, father, and husband, trusting that the rest will fall into place.
[39:17] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
The promise he made is that he will do everything within his power if you're willing to put in the work to help change your life.
Key Quotes
[34:11-34:15] If you don't talk about something, you can't learn about it; and if you don't learn about it, you can't get great at it.
[35:19-35:25] If you're giving something of value, even if it's your time to help somebody, there's a potential for reciprocation in a financial manner. Just give the best of you to the world, and then the rewards will come.
How to connect with Rob Luna
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelunarob
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thelunarob
Website: https://robluna.com
Tue, 19 Dec 2023 - 40min - 399 - How to have Financial and Family Success - Rick Jordon
Welcome back to the Awwshift podcast with your host, Anthony Trucks. Today's guest is Rick Jordan Ulrich, a man who has achieved remarkable feats despite not starting with much. He's built an impressive life and made a significant impact on others. Rick emphasizes that money is a tool, sparking a profound discussion about money, life, and humanity. This engaging conversation delves into the deeper aspects of wealth and well-being. Rick describes it as one of his favorite discussions in the last six months, and it's definitely worth a listen.
[2:59] Why should I listen to you?
I love connecting with people; it defines who I am. Our purpose on this planet is to interact with others. The introvert-extrovert dynamic doesn't change the fact that we're here to connect. Personally, I'm an extrovert; you won't find surprises in a personality test. Yet, even introverts are here to engage and build relationships. It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing; interaction and relationships are fundamental.
[3:45] I'd love for you to share what you're most proud of. What achievements stand out for you?
While some might label me a cliché serial entrepreneur, I'm not a fan of that phrase as it suggests a lack of focus. I prefer the idea of going where I'm needed at the moment. For instance, I decided to make a documentary about the lockdown three years ago when COVID-19 emerged. The business was thriving, and with everyone stuck at home, I thought, "Why not devote six weeks to shed light on the situation?" It opened doors and illustrated the concept of going where you're needed. This approach has been a key factor in discovering purpose. When younger colleagues ask how I found my path, it's simple—I stumbled upon opportunities and decided to try them out.
[10:12] Did you always have that discipline, or did you build it over time? What's the secret to your commitment?
Building a strong work ethic was a gradual process for me. Taking care of my body became a pivotal shift in my life years ago. Growing up in a middle-class family with limited resources, our meals often consisted of simple dishes like mac and cheese or frozen Salisbury steaks. Looking back, it's surprising how I survived on such poor-quality food. I remember chugging three 16-ounce glasses of milk daily for protein before protein shakes were a thing. Reflecting on those habits, it's clear how crucial nutrition is. What I rarely discuss is that despite the challenges, it's crucial to acknowledge bad days while preventing them from turning into bad weeks or months. Negative self-talk may linger, but it's vital not to become the abuser of oneself. By returning to routine, whether hitting the gym, reading in the morning, having a proper meal, or going to the office, we can prevent bad days from snowballing into prolonged negativity.
[13:18] Do you adhere to a disciplined plan or structure, or do you operate more on how you feel?
I implemented time blocking about two years ago, and interestingly, I later came across a Harvard Business Review article ranking it as the top discipline method. As the CEO of a rapidly growing company, flexibility is key for me. While some prefer scheduling to the minute, I find time blocking offers the right balance. Mondays are dedicated to preparing for the week with one-on-ones and a live CEO talk. Tuesday to Thursday mornings focus on internal matters, while afternoons are reserved for external engagements, like podcasts, vendor meetings, or forming connections. Fridays remain open for any necessary adjustments.
[23:50] What was your initial mindset or conversation about money, and how has it changed over time?
I often share this example. My parents had an incredible relationship. My dad passed away when I was just 16, and I'm grateful for the time I had with him compared to my younger siblings. Despite their age, they had their challenges. But growing up a bit older, I got to witness more of their amazing marriage. The only significant fights they had were over money, not the usual couple disagreements. People have bad days, but from my perspective, their marriage was amazing. I had a great childhood. Seeing them fight over money made me think early on, "Why would I want to be in a position of lack?" As I became more emotionally mature, I realized it was a choice. Lack, to me, isn't about a shortage of money; it's about resources. Money is a tool for those resources that allow you to do the things you want. Whether it's fitness or any other goal, you need resources like a gym, equipment, or a membership, all requiring money. So, instead of fighting over lack as my parents did, I ask myself, "What if there's no lack?" Focusing on a gap, which is temporary, is different from perceiving a permanent lack as a negative force. I focus on abundance, thinking about what I'd do if I had everything needed to achieve my goals. It's about making the shift moving in the direction of abundance and obtaining the necessary resources.
[32:45] Going back to our earlier conversation about money, it's about taking personal ownership and being the one in control. Were there times when you felt out of control? How did regaining control look for you?
Despite being an optimistic person, money triggers me due to my parents' past fights over lack. I practice gratitude but still struggle when faced with shortages in business and life. About eight months ago, going public, I was two days away from not making payroll, causing a two-week negative spiral. Reminders, like a board saying "I have a $10 million company," help ground me. Recognizing that I have all I need each day is my key to staying positive. Consistent discipline has proven successful in overcoming challenges.
[49:39] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That I am the promise of resources.
Key Quotes
[8:29-8:32] The longer you sit in it, the longer it lasts. [12:25-12:30] When you allow yourself to be a victim to yourself, you are both the abuser and the victim.
How to connect with Rick Jordan
Instagram: https://instagram.com/mrrickjordan Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/mrrickjordan LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrrickjordan
Tue, 12 Dec 2023 - 51min - 398 - How to transform yourself to transform your future with Sarah Centrella
In today’s episode, our guest is Sarah Centrella. We dive into her life journey, discussing challenges and how she navigated them. If you're looking for inspiration on overcoming roadblocks and reaching the next phase in your life, this conversation is a must-listen. Tune in to discover how Sarah's journey can offer insights for facing challenges. Without further ado, let's hop into the episode.
[2:05] Why should I listen to you?
I believe the most compelling aspect about me is the seemingly unusual skill I possess, which I didn't recognize as a skill for a long time – the ability to effortlessly get strangers to open up to me. Whether we're in a grocery store line or on a park bench, within five minutes, I usually learn about your kids, their interests, and where they play. It's not that I'm excessively talkative; there's just something about me that makes people feel comfortable sharing. This ability has proven valuable in my role as a coach, shaping the coach I am today. I think you can relate, given the nature of your work.
[4:30] Have you ever thought about learning from the unique experiences of people around you to become a better human without living through their challenges?
I find it truly fascinating. In fact, my first book consisted mainly of stories, with a significant portion dedicated to short stories about people who inspired me. Most of these connections began in the exact way you described—starting conversations with strangers. One memorable example is a woman I met during my corporate sales days. We had lunch, and halfway through, she expressed a genuine desire to know my story. Now, six or seven years later, we're great friends. The ability to genuinely hear people, be interested in their stories, and understand what drives them is rare in today's world. Encountering that sincerity is refreshing, and I can relate to the feeling of wanting to know more. People are often hesitant to approach others, especially those they admire. I always say that genuine curiosity and a desire to learn about someone can break down those barriers because it's a rarity.
[8:10] Jay Z recently noted he wouldn't pay $500 for dinner with himself, emphasizing that his success lies in traits, not just tips. To understand success, focus on how individuals function, think, and surround themselves, rather than just what they say. What's your take on this perspective?
In 2008, my life felt like it exploded—lost my home, no income, and no job opportunities. It was a perfect storm of challenges. Rock bottom hit hard, and I remember laying on the floor, overwhelmed. Without social media, I felt alone in my struggle. In that dark moment, a spark of intuition whispered, "What if you can?" It led me to ask, "If I could, what would I do?" This opened the door to rebuilding my life. I envisioned a dream life as a way to escape the darkness. Surprisingly, my focus on these dreams led to tangible changes about a year and a half later. So, when it comes to significant shifts, that moment was my starting point.
[12:40] Reflecting on your circles, are the people in your life helping or hindering your progress towards your goals?
It's indeed a crucial aspect of success. Reflecting on my journey, I realized the fragility of my energy in challenging states, leading me to seek positive and supportive individuals who could align with the changes I was making. Initially, I found a lack of such people in my life, including family. So, I made a deliberate effort to bring in friends, mentors, and individuals I admired. In the early stages, my clients were the primary people I interacted with, given my corporate sales background. I strategically connected with high-powered individuals in tech, aiming to learn from their experiences. Many of the success principles I teach today emerged from these intentional relationships with individuals whose achievements and qualities I admired. I've always been selective about who I let into my circle, recognizing the impact of influence on both myself and my children. Control over that influence remains a priority.
[16:10] How do you navigate unexpected challenges and find silver linings?
Our living space flooded, sprinklers ruining everything, right after I was laid off from a traumatic corporate job loss. The Red Cross and the fire department intervened, providing shelter for two weeks. During this time, I questioned everything, wondering why this was happening. Despite the hardships, I held onto the belief that somehow, it was for my best good. Six months later, the National Red Cross invited my family to be part of a national ad campaign, opening doors to opportunities that brought me closer to my goals.
[20:05] What practices, rituals, or habits do you turn to during challenging or funky moments to navigate through them?
A really good question because it's something I've had to learn about myself and also learn what works and what doesn't. One thing I know for sure is that our energy is super powerful. So if we're caught in a bad mood or a bad place, we all know that it bleeds and can affect tomorrow, a week, or even a month, disrupting things in our lives and manifesting what we don't want. Once I understood that, I realized I could do things to keep my energy positive. I initiate those rituals as fast as I can. One of them is guiding the conversation in my head. When negative thoughts come in, I play mental tennis, reversing the sentence to focus on something good happening. This stops the negative spiral and brings my focus back to what I want. Meditation is huge, especially guided meditation. I'm not great at it, but I use free ones on YouTube for different topics. It aligns me better on a subconscious level. Also, I have a 24-hour rule for obstacles or adversity. I allow myself to react for the first 24 hours, and then the next day, I get back to what I know works, even if I don't feel like it. It's crucial not to let it bleed into multiple days.
[25:58] What excites you as you move forward and build toward the next level of impact and the influence you aim to have?
One thing I've been working towards for a long time is having a show where I can impact people on a larger scale. That's always been a goal. Recently, I've shifted a lot of my coaching business into the corporate sector, and it's been incredibly rewarding. It's the first time I've made an impact on an audience who, for the most part, doesn't know much about personal development. When their company offers it, they're learning tools for the first time, and experiencing growth, and that has been a surprising joy I love. The books will always be a part of it—I'm working on one right now.
[27:20] Who is the ideal audience or situation for these creative ideas, books, and projects you're passionate about?
My writing is always geared towards individuals who are not avid followers of personal development. Ideally, I want my books to be the first they read, sparking the realization that they have agency in their lives. My goal is to guide them in reducing stress, defining their success, and learning these tools for the first time. While everyone can find value, this specific audience has been my focus. Additionally, I'm passionate about teaching these tools to a younger generation. I've been sharing these insights with my own kids, believing that if I had known these things in my 20s, my life would be in a completely different place.
[34:38] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
Making an impact, following my calling—I truly feel that what I'm doing now is what I was put on this planet to do. It's my passion, and it gives me those highs. Listening to that calling and following through, despite the challenges, is crucial. It's not always easy, but leaning in, embracing it, and persistently doing what you're here for is the key.
Key Quotes
[17:44-17:47] If you don’t control it, it will work its way into control
[19:20-19:25] Getting better at navigating the journey helps you avoid some bumps, but the bumps themselves can make the journey worthwhile.
How to connect with Sarah Centrella
Instagram: https://instagram.com/sarahcentrella
Website: https://www.sarahcentrella.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahcentrella
Tue, 05 Dec 2023 - 36min - 397 - How to be an Angel for Foster Kids with Susan Ramirez
On today’s episode, our guest is Susan Ramirez. As a board member of National Angels and a former foster kid myself, I understand the vital role of support and relationships in a child's life. Susan, with her unique journey, entered this world and became an 'angel,' aiming to rescue kids from the challenges of foster care. In this episode, we'll delve into her story and the impactful work of National Angels. Listen not only to learn about the organization but also to discover how you can contribute and make a difference. Not everyone can foster a kid, but everyone can help a foster kid. Without further ado, let's dive into the episode.
[2:30] Why should I listen to you?
I would say that you would probably start listening quickly due to our shared experiences. We could instantly bond over our strong belief in human potential. We both deeply believe that children should have the opportunity to reach their fullest potential, and I think we can connect quickly by discussing that.
[5:35] Could you take us back to those pivotal moments when you were first introduced to the world of foster care?
For me, Anthony, it was a turning point. Eight years in corporate America left me without a life vision. Selling homes was my job, and while I always thought adoption would play a role in my life, foster care wasn't on my radar until I attended a foster and adoption conference. Invited by a woman, I hesitated but attended a foster care session. The judge's stories about two boys with 22 and 23 placements, psychotropic meds, and traumas left a profound impact. One excelled despite challenges, while the other tragically took his life at 18. This experience changed my perspective and marked a crucial moment in my life. I had never volunteered and had a narrow viewpoint. The judge's words on hope and redemption at 18 resonated deeply. Not everyone is called to foster or adopt, but everyone can make a difference. I left the conference with a commitment to change the foster care experience. Witnessing individuals like you, Anthony, who overcome challenges, fuels my passion. Talent is universal, but opportunity is not, and your dedication to family and community reinforces the urgency to improve the foster care system. Currently, 400,000 kids face a system with bleak outcomes, and leaving that conference, I was determined to change this narrative, embarking on a path to make a difference.
[14:44] Where do you perceive the most significant benefits for kids who have experienced foster care and received assistance to overcome these challenges?
Well, I think a couple of things that you're saying, Anthony, are really important mental models for people to consider. One crucial perspective we emphasize is the language we use. Instead of saying "foster kid," we prefer "children experiencing foster care" because it should not define their identity; it's an experience, not who they are. Early on, during an awareness campaign using the term "foster kid," a young woman, an alumna, approached me. She expressed that no child wants to be associated with this label, emphasizing the negative connotations. In my interactions with teenagers in our program every other Saturday, I focus on speaking life and truth over them. Many of these young people are on the verge of aging out and entering adulthood. I convey to them that they are more equipped to handle life's challenges than some who've had everything handed to them. Their mastery in navigating challenges and the emotional fortitude they possess make them resilient individuals. I encourage these young individuals to view their experiences as opportunities to become more resilient, which, in turn, will shape them into tougher, more equipped adults ready to face life's challenges head-on.
[24:20] In the realm of National Angels, what specific initiatives or strategies have you firmly established as the core of your efforts for these kids? When someone hears the term "National Angels," what should come to mind as the impactful work you're actively engaged in for these children?
Firstly, if you're drawn to adopting or fostering, that's wonderful. Yet, what sets our program apart is its inclusivity, embracing those who say, "While fostering may not be my calling, I want to care for kids in my community." Reflecting on when I launched the program nationwide, I recall Jonathan, a seventh-grader in a challenging situation under foster mom Esther. Approaching Esther, who fostered six tough teenage boys, I offered support through our program. Despite initial skepticism, I persisted, especially with Jonathan. For seven months, I consistently showed him love and encouragement. Back-to-school time brought new backpacks and supplies for each boy. Understanding Jonathan's dream of making the football team, we supported him academically and spiritually. Despite his initial self-doubt, he not only made straight A's but also secured a spot on the football team. This affirmed my belief in the importance of every child having a supportive adult. Witnessing Jonathan's transformation from withdrawn to confident underscored the impact of consistent support.
In another case, a boy named Ryan, born to a mother with mental illness and drug abuse, had a different yet equally impactful experience. On his birthday, he called me with gratitude for the first celebration. Esther later highlighted the significance of a child feeling loved and the transformative power of a young person giving love. The message here is clear: not everyone is called to foster or adopt, but everyone can make a difference by walking alongside a child experiencing foster care, and understanding their unique qualities. Consistency is key, and your involvement can make all the difference. Don't be afraid to give your heart, whether or not you feel called to foster; there's a place for everyone to positively impact a child's life.
[24:20] In the realm of National Angels, what specific initiatives or strategies have you firmly established as the core of your efforts for these kids? When someone hears the term "National Angels," what should come to mind as the impactful work you're actively engaged in for these children?
So, we have two main programs—The Love Box and Dare to Dream. The Love Box offers comprehensive support for families fostering children. Earlier, I mentioned Esther, a single foster mom raising six teenage boys. In this program, I and a group of friends provide wraparound community support for foster families. We focus on intentional giving, identifying home needs, building relationships, and offering mentorship. National statistics suggest that 50% of foster families close their homes within the first year. However, our program has shown a different outcome. Our goal is to prevent children from moving between multiple foster homes. If they are placed in a foster home through our program, we aim to ensure stability and prevent frequent moves.
The second program, Dare to Dream, is a one-on-one mentorship initiative. In this program, mentors guide mentees through achieving 10 developmental milestones. When a child turns 16, the mentor assists with tasks like obtaining a driver's license, opening a bank account, providing financial literacy education, and offering support for college preparation or transitioning into adulthood. So, individuals can choose to participate in either program based on whether they feel inclined to support a family or an individual child in a mentorship capacity.
[26:40] In the one-on-one mentorship aspect, can someone simply come in and become a mentor? If so, is that a way for people to contribute their time if they can't foster but still want to make a meaningful impact?
Certainly! If you're interested, visit nationalangels.org to find the nearest chapter. On the website, follow the steps to get involved in our programs. After filling out an online form, a case manager will call for a deep discovery conversation to understand your interests and strengths. We use an algorithm to match mentors and mentees.
Self-efficacy is crucial, letting kids make their own decisions. In the Dare to Dream Program, mentors commit to a minimum of one year, aiming for relational permanence. We match people in the same zip code for convenience. Relational permanence is key, and we have many success stories like Abel, who, with a mentor's guidance, transformed his life and is now pursuing his dreams at college. Relationships have the power to change lives profoundly.
[31:50] In what ways can individuals support your efforts to enhance, expand, or reach a greater number of children?
I am incredibly passionate about our mission to reach and serve every child. Our goal is ambitious: by 2050, we aim to have every child, youth, and family in our program. If you're compelled to get involved, consider making a contribution to our organization at nationalangels.org. Financial support is crucial for reaching and serving more kids. I also encourage you to follow us on social media and get involved locally by finding a chapter nearest to you. Together, we can make a meaningful impact on the lives of children and families.
[35:07] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I vividly recall our conversation in 2018 when you asked me this powerful question. It struck me deeply, making me realize the profound impact of such a commitment. Believing in God's promise to the world, my model is to do everything within my power, despite my flaws and challenges, to reach and serve every single child. The promise is a dedication to continually strive, overcoming any obstacle to transform the world for the better. There's no mountain too high, no valley too low that I won't try to conquer to reach one more child. I hope my boys grow up witnessing their mother's unwavering passion and determination, never giving up on making a difference.
Key Quotes
[10:00-10:06] Not everyone is called to foster or adopt but everyone can make a difference in a child’s life.
[11:42-11:45] Talent is universal, but opportunity is not.
How to connect with Susan Ramirez
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrs.susanramirez
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nationalangelsnonprofit
Website: https://www.nationalangels.org
Tue, 28 Nov 2023 - 37min - 396 - How to Create Financial Freedom with Edward Rushing
In today’s episode, our guest is Edward Rushing. What sets him apart is his commitment to giving back, and sharing the wealth of knowledge and skills he has acquired. However, our conversation goes beyond these achievements, delving into life's intricacies. Whether you're seeking insights into overcoming internal battles or unraveling the intangible traits behind wealth creation, this promises to be a captivating discussion. Join me in welcoming our guest, the inspiring Edward Buddy Rushing. Let's dive into the conversation!
[5:20] Why should I listen to you?
When I interact with someone, my top priority is to add value. Whether it's bringing humor for a good laugh, offering new perspectives, connecting people who can make a positive impact on each other's lives, or providing support, my goal is to leave a positive influence. I want our interaction to enhance their life, making it better in some way. This approach, when applied wisely, often leads to mutually beneficial relationships. It goes beyond immediate gains, creating opportunities for shared experiences, emotional fulfillment, and sometimes even financial benefits. Adopting this mindset has personally brought me immense joy and satisfaction.
[14:45] Could you briefly describe what you do and share insights into your unique approach and how it developed?
I appreciate you asking in that way; I haven't shared it like that before. Currently, I'm married with two young kids, and I work for myself in a business called Whitefeather, named after Carlos Hathcock, the Marine sniper. Our mission is to assist military veterans and their families in building financial freedom. We're part of a larger coalition called Veterans for Financial Freedom, sharing the same mission. Millions of people volunteer to serve and protect the American dream, but upon leaving the military, they face significant challenges—homelessness, drug abuse, and suicide. One key reason is the abrupt transition from a highly structured, focused environment to civilian life, where they lose purpose, structure, respect, accountability, income, and many other skills.
Transitioning out, they often experience a loss of identity and struggle to adapt. The mission of our business and coalition is to help veterans overcome these challenges, providing support, mentorship, and resources to enable them to live the American dream they fought to protect. It's been the most fulfilling endeavor for us professionally, witnessing the positive impact on the lives of those who have served.
[19:00] How did you personally navigate this transition? Was it based on your own experiences, or did you have a close friend or mentor who guided you through it?
Certainly, most of us don't just stumble upon our purpose, right? It's more of an evolutionary process. Personally, growing up in East Tennessee on WIC and food stamps, without electricity or running water, life was challenging. Witnessing privation, drug abuse, and hardships, it seemed like this was just how life was. Trying to understand why people on TV lived differently fueled my desire for change. While your life is now stable, imagine living in fear of getting shot every time you step outside. This stark contrast exists in America. Growing up, I was determined not to continue that legacy and to break the cycle for my family. Fortunately, after high school, I was accepted into the Naval Academy in Maryland, a life-changing opportunity as I couldn't afford college. The academy experience, coming from a small town, made me feel initially out of place.
[24:05] Could you share the journey from building your business to the point where you felt a sense of accomplishment or success?
I gained insight from Tony Robbins that fundamentally altered my perspective. He highlighted a crucial idea – that beyond a certain income level, money loses its power to enhance happiness. Robbins emphasized the significance of infusing meaning into life by contributing to others. This revelation guided my approach, particularly during my initial real estate investment in 2007. Unbeknownst to me, this venture coincided with the housing market crash. Despite challenges, I invested my entire $30,000 savings, undertaking renovations personally. Two years later, the property's appraisal revealed a value of half of the purchase price. Unlike those thriving in the mid-2000s, my journey commenced with a profound setback, fostering resilience.
[27:34] Amid challenging situations in life, what thought patterns or approaches did you develop to navigate through them? How did your mindset or strategies evolve based on your experiences?
So, in essence, my transformation began with the assistance of a friend named Larry, a realtor. Despite the real estate market crash, Larry pointed out the lucrative opportunities in a military town. The correlation between increased housing allowances for military personnel and rising rents presented a chance for high cash-flow properties. Larry's practical advice guided me to invest in properties with substantial returns. Importantly, this experience instilled a valuable principle in my approach – the mindset of either winning or learning in every endeavor. I embraced the lessons from this situation, acknowledging that my mistake was rooted in a lack of market knowledge. The key takeaway was the importance of continuous education, a commitment that shaped my journey over the following years.
[33:00] How do you navigate and reconcile your difficult childhood experiences with the positive mindset you've developed, recognizing that not everyone has faced similar hardships?
This is a profound question that weighs heavily on me. My kids are four and six, growing up in a wealthy Southern California family, a stark contrast to my upbringing. While I don't want to draw parallels to your ability to face challenges, given your unique experiences, there's a distinctive aspect related to military life. Unlike combat situations, where one's life is on the line, my current business dilemma, though significant, pales in comparison. It prompts me to evaluate the scale of the problem realistically—losing a million dollars versus facing mortal danger. It's a perspective that, perhaps, only someone who has been in life-threatening situations can fully appreciate. Now, as a parent in Southern California's perceived "bubble," I grapple with how to prepare my children, Austin and Alana, for the harsh realities beyond their privileged environment. While their upbringing shields them from life's unfairness and injustice, I'm eager to instill resilience and a deep understanding of the real world.
[47:50] What are the exciting things that you do that the world should know about?
Most of what we do revolves around the mission of aiding military personnel and veterans in achieving financial freedom. Over the past six years, we've assisted approximately 600 core members—regular military individuals who were not initially wealthy, and many have achieved financial freedom. Witnessing their transformations, with around 30-33 people becoming millionaires through real estate investments and businesses, is truly life-changing. Our movement, Veterans for Financial Freedom, is a free community teaching people how to utilize their VA loans, engage in house hacking, optimize VA benefits, pay off debt, and establish income streams. The goal is to impact generations of service members and their families, and it has evolved into a movement much larger than myself.
[50:53] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I would do everything I could to make my corner of the world a little bit more like heaven in the time that I was here.
Key Quotes
[25:10-25:17] You will get fulfillment when you are able to provide value to others
[48:55-49:00] You don't need money to build financial freedom; you need knowledge and action.
How to connect with Edward Rushing
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/edwardbuddyrushing
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/edward-rushing
Facebook:
Tue, 21 Nov 2023 - 50min - 395 - How To Be The One with Justin Prince
Our guest today is Justin Prince, and our focus is on "Being The One." Our aim is for you to reflect on who you are in this moment and how you can elevate yourself to a higher level. This conversation provides practical models and strategies for making transformative changes in your life, propelling you towards an exciting future. Justin shares compelling stories, valuable insights, and powerful lessons. Without further ado, let's dive into the discussion.
[2:30] Why should I listen to you?
To answer your question, I believe you would find me willing to listen, and the reason for that is my genuine care for people. I possess a deep curiosity about others, a love for understanding their complex stories, and a keen interest in learning. I'd ask numerous questions and lend a listening ear, truly attempting to comprehend who you are, what motivates you, and what sparks your passions.
[3:40] When you look at collecting stories, what does that mean to you?
I'm a person who tends to speak quite a bit, much like you do. For me, every communication should have a story, and every story should convey a meaningful point. I firmly believe that by making points within your communication and weaving them into a compelling story, you can connect with people on a much deeper level. Stories inherently carry a point, and points become more vivid and engaging when they're intertwined with a story. I'm constantly on the lookout for new stories and unique angles. I'm particularly inspired by individuals who provide me with stories that I can use as illustrations to inspire others. I consider myself a story collector' and am always in search of various tales—be it in the realm of business, human experiences, or stories of resilience. I believe that the true drama lies in the intricate details of these stories. Thus, I'm consistently focused on finding and collecting stories to serve as vehicles for moving people forward.
[5:28] Can you tell us a bit about yourself—the human side of you?
In life, we often encounter a universal pattern: the dream, struggle, and victory. Each phase is essential, but stories typically focus on the triumph, leaving the struggle hidden. My journey began with divorce, followed by 13 relocations, limited education, and various odd jobs. I harbored big dreams. At 25, I launched my first business, which eventually failed, forcing us into financial turmoil. My wife and kids shared a small loft while I juggled part-time jobs. I questioned if success was possible for me. Perseverance paid off as I rebuilt my business, eventually selling it. I ventured into private equity consulting for two years and spent over a decade transforming a struggling company, achieving two and a half billion in revenue. This path led to speaking worldwide and writing books, allowing me to inspire others. The essence of my story is simple: dreams are attainable, and extraordinary lives are within reach.
[8:43] What do you notice stops people from moving toward that thing that, for you, seems so obvious?
Firstly, many people lack clarity. They're often confused and uncertain. I advocate for having 3D vision. When you lack vision, you limit your potential to influence and inspire others. Your vision should be crystal clear and always at the forefront of your mind. High performers can articulate their latest goals almost instantaneously, a key sign of clarity. Secondly, fear can be a major obstacle. It can be fear of what others will say, fear of failure, or even fear of success. I've developed a '3 C Success Loop' to address this. It begins with 'confidence,' believing in yourself, which leads to 'commitment.' With confidence, you commit to your goals. Commitment, in turn, leads to 'competence,' improving your skills and abilities. As your competence grows, it boosts your confidence. But to break the cycle of fear and doubt, you need 'courage' to take the first step, even when you can't see the entire path. Courage is what sets you apart, as it's a rare quality. Anything rare holds greater value. Be the one who runs toward the roar, not away from it.
[16:04] What do you find to be some of the common fears that keep people from chasing a lion right now?
I understand the fear of being crushed when pursuing something big, whether it's in sports or any other life endeavor. That fear often stems from the worry of being embarrassed in front of others, especially when you're aiming high. I can relate to a personal experience that occurred when I was just starting my entrepreneurial journey. I was at church one Sunday, feeling inspired and enthusiastic about my new venture, and I shared my aspirations with some acquaintances, what I'd call "church friends." Their response was far from supportive. They ridiculed my ambitions, and it left me feeling small and uncertain. I had three initial emotions: a strong urge to fight back, a desire to take back my words, and a need to defend myself. However, I ended up just sitting there, feeling diminished. The lesson from these situations is that when you pursue your dreams, you might encounter naysayers who hammer you down or pull you back. It's crucial to empower the words of those who believe in you, those who say, "You got this." The negative voices will always be there, but it's your choice to listen to the empowering words and let them carry more weight. Like the story of President Reagan, who overcame skepticism at each stage of his life, from playing football to becoming the President of the United States, it's essential to listen to the believers and keep moving forward.
[24:20] What is your book about, and who is it for?
I wrote the book "Be the One" for two important reasons. Firstly, I firmly believe that success is rooted in one's identity. How you perceive yourself significantly influences how you perform and engage with the world. If you see yourself as a loser, you'll struggle to perform like a winner, and vice versa. I wanted to emphasize that success is an identity process, and I want people to recognize that they are the one. They are the culmination of generations of people who came together, bled, cried, and sacrificed for their existence. Understanding your value and purpose is vital, particularly in a world facing high rates of suicide, anxiety, and depression. Realizing that your life has meaning can be a transformative realization. The second reason for writing the book is to provide practical and tactical strategies, habits, and routines to help readers become the people they were born to be. While I hope the book motivates and inspires, it's primarily designed to teach and equip readers with the tools they need to be the best version of themselves. My journey from a broken home with no formal education to achieving billions in sales and traveling the world was a result of applying practical strategies and habits, which I share in the book. Ultimately, I want to help readers recognize their identity and provide them with actionable steps to fulfill their potential.
[27:38] How does someone elevate beyond their current level when who they are determines the actions and habits that shape their life?
The first step in personal transformation is recognizing the need to update your identity. How you perceive yourself significantly impacts your performance. In the book, a story is shared about Jaime Molina, an exemplary individual who transitioned from a troubled past. His story demonstrates that we're not defined by our past but by who we're meant to be. We can create visions for our future, but it's essential to translate these visions into daily habits. Aristotle's wisdom emphasizes that excellence is a result of consistent habits. Your success isn't accidental; it's a product of daily, intentional decisions. Break the cycle, empower your family, and create an unforgettable life by updating your identity, cultivating new habits, and making conscious decisions.
[33:06] How can you approach individuals who struggle to envision a future beyond what they currently know or dislike, especially when they doubt their ability to achieve it? How do you help them plant the seed of a vision that extends beyond their current limitations?
In a recent event, a woman approached me and said she couldn't cast a vision for her future; her mind felt stuck. I shared the power of words, emphasizing that our words significantly influence our beliefs and actions. When I started lifting weights with a tough trainer, he instilled three rules. The most crucial one was to never say, "I can't do something." He explained how the conscious mind believes what you tell it. So, I adopted a habit of speaking positively and confidently, even when I doubted myself. This practice boosted my strength and self-belief. Research shows that our spoken words are 10 times more impactful than our thoughts. So, by changing your word patterns, you can enhance your future outlook and capabilities. Stop dwelling on past failures and focus on your potential strength and capacity.
[40:30] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
When I was financially below zero, living in my wife's parents' garage and working two part-time jobs, I reached a point of despair. At that moment, I made two solemn promises to myself with tears streaming down my face. I said to God, "If you ever help me find success, there are two things I will do." The first promise was, "I won't forget what it feels like to struggle. I'll remember that lump in my throat, the challenges I'm facing, and what it's like to be the underdog." The second promise was, "I'll do everything in my power to help others achieve their dreams and goals. I'll work tirelessly to inspire and serve them." I believe that God placed me on this earth with a mission to serve and add value to people's lives. This is why I cherish conversations like this. I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can help the next person stay in the game and keep moving forward.
Key Quotes
[29:30-29:35] You are not who you are, you are who you are born to be and you are not what you did but what you repeatedly do.
[32:11-32:14] You can’t always control what happens but you can control what happens next.
How to connect with Justin Prince
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamjustinprince
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iamjustinprince
Twitter: https://twitter.com/justinkprince
Tue, 14 Nov 2023 - 43min - 394 - How to Live a New Life with Adam Jablin
In today’s episode, our guest is Adam Jablin. He is on a heroic journey to create an extraordinary life, but he has to navigate his challenges, including addiction, drinking, and medications. You've seen people overcome similar struggles, and there are always inspiring stories about how they use that experience to make a positive impact on the world. That's what this man does. If you're looking to hear about someone's journey of overcoming adversity and achieving incredible things, especially while battling similar challenges yourself, this episode is perfect. So, without further ado, let's begin.
[5:45] Why should I listen to you?
I care deeply, and it's because of my genuine concern for people. I value human connections and strive for meaningful interactions. When I converse with you, you can expect someone who respects and values you, someone who communicates from the heart.
[6:20] Where did you enter into life that led to this journey, and is there a particular point at the very beginning that you consider a good starting point?
I come from the era of the 80s and 90s, where masculinity was epitomized by figures like Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I was raised to be a 'man's man,' tough and rugged. However, my response may seem somewhat contradictory to that image. The truth is, I've always possessed a caring and compassionate heart, a deep desire to help people, and a genuine love for serving others. Now, let me take you back to my earlier statement. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, these larger-than-life characters made me feel somewhat out of place, as it didn't align with my natural inclination. I'd even recall instances in football where I would tackle an opponent correctly and extend a hand to help them up, only to hear my coach demanding that I leave them on the ground. This innate caring nature I've had since birth wasn't something I initially embraced or understood, especially in a world that admired action heroes.
[9:10] How did you develop these qualities? Was it through life experiences or through building rapport with others?
I genuinely believe that this is something inherent in my nature. I should note that I didn't have an exceptionally challenging upbringing. My mother was nurturing, but my father embodied the typical 'man's man' persona. There was a clear polarity in my household, and my father was determined not to let me grow up as a 'mama's boy.' He often reiterated that he wouldn't allow me to become too soft. Nevertheless, I think there was a degree of nurturing in my upbringing that I naturally gravitated towards. Despite the challenges, including family struggles, alcoholism, addiction, and the ups and downs of life, this caring nature has always been a fundamental part of who I am.
[11:45] How do you balance setting high standards for your child in their chosen pursuits without making them feel like a lesser person?
My son has developed a deep passion for bodybuilding, and it warms my heart to see him embrace this love. He's been studying not just the current generation of bodybuilders but also legends like Sean Ray, Dorian Yates, Jay Cutler, Ronnie Coleman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Frank Zane, and even had conversations with Michael Hearn. I've been fortunate to share this journey with him. In the gym, it's important to communicate and encourage one another. I remember a moment when my son and his best friend were training together. His friend cracked a joke just as he was about to lift a weight, and I noticed my son laughing and losing focus. In that instant, my coaching instincts kicked in. I re-racked the weight and told my son that he could joke once he finished his last rep. It's not about being overly tough but ensuring he stays focused and motivated. We should cheer him on for those extra reps. Anthony, you should take this as a compliment because, having spent time with you and your family, I see that your son greatly admires and respects you. You're like a mentor to him. You inspire him and encourage him to give his best, not allowing him to back down.
[13:23] How did you navigate challenges with unsupportive parents, seeking acceptance and love, and progressing through such situations?
I believe there were some accurate emotions at play. My father had a strong desire to mold me into a responsible, capable man. With the perspective of time, I've come to realize that I wasn't always the central focus of his attention. He carried a heavy load of responsibilities, and even when he seemed distant, distracted, or upset, it wasn't necessarily about me. He was a driven, busy figure in the business world, often referred to as an 'assassin.' Many of my cravings for approval, acceptance, and love stemmed from a need to connect with him, to earn his affection in any way I could.
[14:40] Can you discuss personal challenges you faced in your journey, how they influenced your path, and the role of your early years?
When I was growing up in New Jersey, I was the chubby kid, often referred to as 'El Chapo' by my dad, although he didn't mean it in a harmful way. It was a different era back then. There was a movie in the 80s called 'The Goonies' where a character rolls through a chimney, and my friends would have me reenact that. Fast forward, our family moved to Florida, a non-union state, where I could enjoy the pool every day. I used to swim with my shirt on because I was self-conscious about my weight. My parents noticed how upset I was and decided to make a change. They started buying me fitness magazines like Flex and Muscle and Fitness, got me my first bench press and some dumbbells, and stopped taking me to fast-food restaurants. They replaced my usual McDonald's order with healthier options like grilled chicken and apples. It was a different time, without the wealth of information available today, but I absorbed everything I could, just like you and I get to see with today's youth. In just four years, I transformed from the overweight kid to the fittest in my class. The questions changed from 'How many Oreos did you eat last night?' to 'How much can you bench?' The girls started noticing me, and I began hanging out with older kids, which also introduced me to drinking. Surprisingly, alcohol seemed to fix something inside me that I didn't even know was broken. That broken piece was my constant craving for my father's love and attention. When I became more confident with my physique, I felt like I could finally be seen as his son, like someone who could live up to his standards. I channeled this desire for approval and acceptance into muscle-building, alcohol, and other pursuits. It was my way of seeking validation and striving to be a man in his eyes.
[18:56] When did you start drinking and how did it affect you, knowing others may relate to this experience?
I started my journey with alcohol at a young age, and it began innocently enough. It wasn't as if I had a drink and then suddenly found myself carrying around a paper bag filled with booze at school the next day. It initially revolved around Friday and Saturday nights during middle school and early high school, occasionally spilling into weekdays. What I quickly realized was that alcohol provided a boost to my confidence, not arrogance. It was like a different version of me emerged, one that could engage with anyone. However, the desire to drink again grew stronger, and I wasn't content with just the weekends or post-game celebrations. I even obtained a fake driver's license to buy alcohol. When I got to Arizona State University, known as the top party school, I wholeheartedly embraced the sex, drugs, and rock and roll lifestyle. Alcohol became my first commandment, an ingrained part of my identity. It progressed over time, and it's what makes alcoholism and addiction a disease, not just a disorder. This disease has four key components: it's progressive, meaning it gets worse over time, chronic, always present, primary, and potentially fatal. I had no awareness of being an alcoholic or an addict at the time; I saw myself as a 'work hard, play hard' kind of person.
[22:48] What was your wake-up moment that prompted change?
I'd like to express my gratitude for having me. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but thank you for inviting me to your home, the auto-shift, and the truck's house, and for the quality time I spent with you and your wonderful family. My journey had different stages, and the 'aww’ moment for me was my intervention. It was a moment when the people who loved me the most surrounded me and read heartfelt letters, all following a similar format. They expressed their love and admiration for me and then delved into the reality of what I'd been doing. They recounted instances like when I drove my nephew while drunk or nearly slipped with my daughter down the stairs, using these memories as a plea for me to seek help. That was the initial part of my 'aha' moment. The major part came nine days later when I entered a treatment facility. It was there that I had a profound spiritual experience. For me, it wasn't an intense, blinding, spiritual awakening like Bill Wilson's, but rather it felt like a part of my ego was dying. This transformation manifested in the form of a panic attack. My heart rate skyrocketed, well over 180, and it was a distressing experience. But this mental shift was necessary for a new version of me to emerge. When I surrendered and accepted the need for change, my heart rate returned to normal, and I left the facility as a new person. This experience showed me that sometimes, something within us needs to transform or 'die' for a new, healthier version of ourselves to emerge.
[25:36] Did you have a support system or was it more of a personal journey?
I was never alone. You may have heard of the poem 'Footprints,' where a person talks to God about two sets of footprints turning into one during their hardest moments. From family intervention to a treatment center with excellent support, I learned to be authentic. I used to put on a fake smile to hide my problems, but even then, I was never truly alone. God was always there.
[38:20] Did the work you do in building a pathway to personal development connect with or influence the Hero Project in any way?
Certainly, the Hero Project is my coaching program, but it's unique in that it's not a one-size-fits-all approach. Instead, it's tailored to each individual's specific needs. We guide individuals through the Hero's Journey, which typically involves a separation phase, like breaking free from addiction or fear. Then there's an initiation process where we teach new skills and beliefs, helping individuals become more empowered. However, often the biggest challenge is confronting inner demons or fears that reside within us. This may involve difficult conversations or making courageous choices. Ultimately, in every hero's journey, there's a return home, not as a conqueror, but as a better, more evolved person, leading by example. That's what my life is all about – guiding people through their own Hero's Journey.
[40:30] Do you seek that turning point where people decide to work with you, or do you try to address their hesitations when they're unsure if it's the right fit?
Many times, people come to me when they've reached their own version of rock bottom, whether it's spiritual, financial, emotional, or mental. Often, it's a family member, spouse, agent, or sports team that reaches out, convinced that the person is ready for help, even if they claim not to be. My role isn't to convince but to establish a common language, using metaphors like 'tires win the race' to make them understand the need for change and participation, whether they're athletes or entrepreneurs.
[43:58] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
He promised the world that: You will get through the hero’s journey but you will have a great time doing that.
Key Quotes
[38:00-38:04] Reawakening in the spirit is a chance to get through difficult things or situations.
How to connect with Adams Jablin
Instagram: https://instagram.com/adamjablin
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/adamjablin
Twitter: https://twitter.com/adamjablin
Wed, 08 Nov 2023 - 45min - 393 - How to Help Climate Change with Henk Rogers
In today's episode, our guest is Henk Rogers, and while he's not the creator of Tetris, he has some fascinating stories associated with the game, which you'll discover in this episode. However, we mainly delve into the pressing issue of climate change. Many people aren't fully aware of the situation and its implications, and Hank sheds light on it. We discuss ideas and actions we can take individually to address this challenge, offering insights that can help you stay informed and potentially contribute to positive change. We all want a better world for our children, and Hank's perspective can guide us in that direction. Tune in with an open mind, an open heart, and attentive ears for an insightful episode! [3:07] Why should I listen to you? You should listen to me because I'm a key figure in Hawaii's transition to 100% renewable energy. Hawaii is a global leader, and even in the United States, we're at the forefront of achieving 100% renewable energy for electricity. I've played a significant role in making this transformation possible.
[3:43] Why has this become a passion of yours, and why are you devoting your time and life to it? I had a near-death experience. After selling my company in 2005, just a month later, I found myself in the back of an ambulance due to a heart attack, with 100% blockage of the Widowmaker artery. I looked at the ceiling and thought, "You've got to be kidding me. I haven't even spent any of the money from the sale." But the next thought was, "No, I'm not going. I still have things to do." This experience made me reevaluate my life's purpose. I came across a newspaper article discussing the threat of coral extinction by the end of the century due to ocean acidification caused by carbon dioxide emissions. I decided I couldn't stand by and watch this happen. So, my mission became clear: to eliminate the use of carbon-based fuels.
[5:20] Why did you choose this specific cause to devote your time and energy to, and what drives your passion for it? I have always had a global perspective, having lived in various countries. When I look at the world, I don't see individual places like Hawaii or San Francisco, even though I lived there for seven years. I see the world as a whole. The issue of carbon-based fuels is not something that can be solved by addressing it in just one place; it needs to be tackled worldwide. Unfortunately, not many people think on a global scale. Most individuals want to help specific communities or address localized problems, like saving a coral reef. These local efforts are essential for creating change on a smaller scale. However, someone must consider these issues on a global level. If I can and do think on this global scale, then it becomes my responsibility because not many others are taking on that part of the challenge.
[12:54] What are the major challenges and barriers you've faced while working on a global scale and trying to get buy-in from a large number of people? The situation in Hawaii was as follows: when we began this journey, Hawaii was importing $6 billion worth of oil, with $5 billion spent on oil used for various purposes and another billion dollars specifically for jet fuel. Among this, 30% was allocated to jet fuel, 30% for ground transportation, and 40% for electricity, totaling $2 billion for electricity and a billion dollars for ground transportation. We aimed to halt this $3 billion expense. Notably, the electric company in Hawaii was the largest corporation, and when we introduced legislation to transition to 100% renewable energy, they were one of the main opponents, arguing that it couldn't be accomplished. I recall being on a panel where I stated our goal of achieving 100% renewable energy by 2045. A fellow panelist, a university researcher, declared that, based on his studies, it was impossible. I responded by taking the microphone and acknowledging that I might not be as knowledgeable as him, but we were determined to do it regardless. The prevailing attitude often involves experts and industry insiders insisting it can't be done. This perspective stems from a focus on slow, incremental changes. However, we disrupted the utility's business model to make the transition to renewables more profitable for them, and the results speak for themselves. Hawaii's initial target was 40% renewable energy by 2030, and we have already achieved that goal.
[16:00] Are you primarily focused on finding better methods or strategies for implementing renewable solutions, or is your research more oriented toward encouraging people to adopt these approaches? At present, we're closely monitoring emerging research and the rise of companies that develop the cutting-edge technologies we require. Instead of creating these technologies ourselves, we search for them. For example, let's consider our interest in hydrogen production. To make hydrogen, we need an electrolyzer, a device that utilizes water and electricity to generate hydrogen. Remarkably, a new company in Ohio has developed an advanced electrolyzer. We decided to purchase their first unit, which we now use at the ranch to produce hydrogen. Several other companies are also experiencing significant growth. The key point here is that people can visit our ranch and witness the future unfold. They can learn about living off the grid, given that I exclusively drive electric cars charged solely at the ranch. Consequently, we've achieved complete off-grid living and gathered essential knowledge, even if it means occasionally taking cold showers, which can be an interesting experience.
[18:42] How are shifts to electric vehicles and renewable energy impacting the automotive repair and mechanics industry, given the ongoing global changes? The world is in a constant state of flux, as it has always been. Imagine humanity as passengers in a lifeboat, where there are holes in the boat and most of us are diligently scooping out water to keep it afloat. Surprisingly, there are individuals assigned the task of drilling more holes in this lifeboat. This is not a job; it's a crime against humanity and nature. Once we collectively understand this, we must cease damaging the world we intend to pass on to future generations. Considering you have three kids and I have four, with eight grandchildren and another on the way, it's vital to recognize that I'm the eldest of 15 siblings, which means I have a multitude of nieces and nephews. This immense family network makes me feel accountable, not just for them but for all the children who will follow. It's our human responsibility to safeguard the well-being of the next generation and the ones that come after. If we neglect our duty and mistreat our planet, we will witness severe consequences, not only in terms of the current wave of migrants fleeing regions where food can no longer be grown but also in the imminent deluge of people facing dire circumstances in the coming two decades.
[25:45] How can we start discussions about climate change and sustainability in suburban areas with limited focus on these topics amid information overload and distractions? I'm determined to inspire individuals to make responsible choices at a local level. For instance, I've personally embraced a sustainable lifestyle by going off the grid, driving electric vehicles, and choosing alternative means of transportation such as cycling or using public transit. These seemingly small actions accumulate and have a substantial impact. Empowering your community to make conscious decisions is of paramount importance. When your community decides to take a definitive step, the conversation shifts from "Why should we do this?" to "How can we achieve this?" The moment people start contemplating the "how," solutions start emerging. Let's take, for example, the city of New York. We initiated the plan to go 100% renewable energy, and once the commitment was in place, everyone involved began brainstorming how to make it happen. Astonishingly, just six months after passing this mandate, the electric company publicly declared, "We've figured it out, and we can achieve this by 2040." It's perplexing that they hadn't explored this earlier, but the power lies in making people think about it. When a city, like San Francisco, declares its intent to transition to 100% renewable energy, it sparks a chain reaction. All the entities contributing to the city's electricity supply start brainstorming how to align with this goal. That shift in mindset is precisely what we need.
[34:50] What are some practical steps someone like me can take to contribute to sustainability and environmental efforts, even on a local level, such as in their home or community? An effective approach to raising awareness involved elementary school children, who went door-to-door to replace 300,000 incandescent bulbs with energy-efficient LED alternatives. LED bulbs consume just about 10% of the electricity required by incandescent bulbs. This easy swap significantly reduces household energy consumption—a simple yet impactful change. I've personally made eco-conscious adjustments, like eliminating beef from my diet. While I enjoy a good burger, I've learned about beef's devastating environmental effects. Cattle farming contributes to deforestation, especially in the Amazon, as trees are cleared for grazing. Cattle also emit methane as they digest their food, further exacerbating environmental issues. In contrast, pigs and chickens have much smaller environmental footprints, primarily feeding on waste, making them a more sustainable dietary choice.
[44:33] What promise did God make to the world when he created you? I'm going to send you somebody who's going to help you fix things
Key Quotes [6:40-6:42] Ignorance is thinking you can't do something.
How to connect with Henk Rogers Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/henkrogers Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/HenkRogers Twitter: https://twitter.com/henkrogers
Tue, 24 Oct 2023 - 47min - 392 - 5 Days to Change Your Life with Brad BizJack
On today’s episode, our guest is Brad BizJack. He's here to share something special for those of you looking to achieve more success, joy, love, and financial abundance, grow your business, mend relationships, and unlock your full potential. Brad will shed light on the concept of rewiring your mind, explaining what it means and how to recognize it when you need it. Furthermore, he'll explore what life looks like after this transformation, so you can envision the possibilities.
[2:40] Why should I listen to you?
Honestly, it's really simple. I can see the problem behind the problem—I can understand what you're going through and help you view life in a way that allows you to rewire your mind to focus on your true dreams. Many people are in a situation where they support others, but sometimes all it takes is one little insight, one question, and one different perspective on a problem that can transform everything. This is evident in the success stories of life. So, picture us at a coffee shop, discussing your dreams and goals. By the end of that conversation, you will undoubtedly know exactly what you want out of life, what's holding you back, and the practical strategies for breaking through.
[3:35] Can you share a moment in your life that's relevant to the person you help today?
Starting with a challenging $92,000 debt and a miserable job, I eagerly embraced an opportunity for an online business, hoping it would lead to financial success and happiness. As I struggled, I noticed that while everyone else was thriving, I was stuck in toxic positivity, pretending problems didn't exist. I believed I'd only be happy when I achieved success. After talking to a mentor, I made a pivotal decision. I chose to work with a coach who changed my perspective during our first session. She emphasized that my attachment to success was the issue. Success wouldn't miraculously solve my problems. Instead, it was about rewiring my mindset and overcoming limiting beliefs. This realization prompted me to shift my focus to understanding my mental operating system. Attending a life-altering conference, despite a recent job loss, I embraced the theme of rewiring the mind for success. This transformation marked the start of my journey, and now I've dedicated myself to helping others transform their lives and find profound freedom.
[8:45] Can you share common language patterns or signs you've noticed from clients you've worked with before they started working with you?
My extensive experience working with thousands of individuals has revealed recurring patterns that either hinder their progress or drive them toward success. A common issue is the absence of a compelling vision for the future. Many individuals tone down their dreams to fit a more "realistic" mold, often due to past failures influencing their future outlook. They restrict themselves from dreaming big and play it safe instead of aiming for victory. This rationalization manifests in various ways, such as claiming contentment with their current situation or waiting for the "right time" to take action. Self-blame is another prevalent symptom. People often attribute their struggles to emotional states like lack of confidence, depression, or anxiety. It's crucial to recognize that these states are malleable and depend on how they use their body, focus their thoughts, and express themselves. A prominent sign of this is scarcity thinking, particularly regarding money as the source of their problems. Limiting beliefs about time and fears of not having enough time to change their lives are also common. Two significant symptoms include the belief that they should already be further ahead in life or that they'll only find happiness once they achieve success.
[16:20] What is the promised land, and what can people expect when they arrive there?
In essence, it's about living life on your terms—a somewhat cliché concept but incredibly significant. It's not just about the overarching idea of having the freedom to do what you want when you want, with whom you want, and where you want. It extends to being irresistibly drawn by a compelling future vision, eliminating internal conflicts, and achieving emotional regulation. Most people allow their emotional state to be determined by external factors. I teach individuals to become emotional regulators, where they set their desired emotional temperature and maintain it consistently. It's also about living in alignment with your true desires, creating wealth, finding freedom, fostering meaningful relationships, and surrounding yourself with individuals who both understand and challenge you. After this transformation, your life becomes a reflection of the expectations set by your inner circle. You'll handle life's challenges with confidence, create your vision of success, and experience fulfillment along the way. This is what it means to reside in the "success sweet spot," where you strive for significant goals while relishing the journey and living in abundance, filled with gratitude and excitement. It's a harmonious and prosperous way of life where everything flows effortlessly.
[19:28] How do you adjust your expectations and surround yourself with the right people when your current community or friends may not align with your goals?
One significant challenge I encountered was expecting immediate support and understanding from those close to me regarding my dreams. As a visionary, it's essential to lead with unwavering belief in your vision. Lowering your aspirations to match the acceptance level of those around you can lead to disappointment. Instead, I've learned to love and accept the people in my life for who they are. I've also recognized the importance of carefully selecting a supportive peer group. Surrounding yourself with people who believe in your dreams and challenge you to grow is essential for personal transformation and success.
[24:00] What can you share about your experience or insights with individuals who want to level up and join a more successful or supportive group but have concerns about not fitting in or being accepted by that group?
Successful individuals have a genuine desire to uplift and assist others in achieving success. Joining such a group can be intimidating if you're worried about maintaining the group's integrity and providing real value. Focus on giving rather than getting. When contemplating a peer group, look at those who operate at a higher level than you and consider how you can contribute. Find innovative ways to offer value to them. For instance, if you're part of a more successful business group, leverage your strengths, like a happy marriage, to assist others in that area. It's crucial to set clear boundaries and limit interactions with individuals not at that higher level. I make sure to have regular conversations with people more successful than me, always open to learning. Surround yourself with those who excel in areas you wish to grow and discover ways to enhance your knowledge and skills. Understand your value, and if you think you have nothing to offer, create something valuable to share.
[29:50] Could you share some real-time transformations you've witnessed in the people you currently work with?
I've witnessed people go from utter financial struggles to establishing multi-six-figure businesses in a mere six months. Their achievements are nothing short of incredible. From an emotional standpoint, some have described it as 40 years of challenges crumbling away like a sledgehammer that just shattered their burdens, leaving them feeling free for the first time. I've seen individuals rekindle relationships with their children, bridging gaps that had persisted for decades. They finally sense the family bonds they've yearned for. People have forgiven their parents after holding onto grudges for years. In just a few days, some have decided to walk away from toxic jobs, opting to explore creative ways of serving others on a deeper level. Then some wake up one day and realize they're simply happy, without fully understanding why. It's truly incredible what becomes possible.
[30:20] Can you elaborate on your five-day work and session challenge, how it works, and what individuals can expect when they take part in this challenge?
The challenge is called The Success Accelerator, a life-changing five-day challenge, offered a few times yearly and has already impacted over 50,000 lives globally. It focuses on rewiring your mindset for your distinct vision of success. Many people struggle to grow and change because they're pursuing someone else's dream, shaped by societal norms or personal history. This program not only helps you pinpoint what you genuinely desire for this phase of your life but also dismantles common toxic thought patterns and limiting beliefs that hinder your progress. The challenge isn't just about theory; it provides practical strategies to overcome your fears, doubts, and insecurities, allowing you to create the life you envision. The difference between those for whom success flows organically and those who struggle tirelessly becomes clear in this challenge, along with practical steps to bridge that gap. You can succeed without sacrificing precious family moments. Join the Success Accelerator to unlock your potential and transform every aspect of your life.
[35:40] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I would help people come alive, empower them, and help them find gratitude and love so that they can see how beautiful life can be.
Key Quotes [6:00-6:03] You need to make decisions based on who you want to be. [24:10-24:14] Successful people want to help other people become successful.
How to connect with Brad Bizjack
Instagram: https://instagram.com/bradbizjack Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/BradBizjackCoaching Website: https://www.bradbizjack.com
Tue, 17 Oct 2023 - 39min - 391 - How to Create and Share an Amazing Life with Lori Harder
I'm your host, Anthony Trucks, and today we have Lori Harder on the show. Lori is a friend I've known for a couple of years now. She's an incredible human who has experienced a lot, learned from her experiences, and has a unique skill set for sharing her expertise in a way that benefits the world. She talks about her journey, from her childhood interest in religion to navigating a shift in identity. She's been through financial struggles, made a significant income in the fitness industry, delved into personal development, and more. Now she's working on launching projects she started from scratch. Lori shares her journey and the reasons behind her choices. So, without further ado, let's dive into the episode.
[2:20] Why should I listen to you?
I would say you should listen to me because I've achieved something remarkable in my life.
[3:04] What is it that you do so well?
It's intriguing. I believe there are a few things I excel at, but they initially stemmed from a need for survival. These tactics eventually evolved into the realization that, even though they originated from challenging times in my life, they've transformed into skills that can be applied to various areas. I'm particularly adept at learning, such as reading and understanding people and inspiring them to embrace a vision. However, I'm also acutely aware of my weaknesses and make a point of surrounding myself with individuals who possess the skills I lack.
[4:00] Was it always that way for you, or did you have an attorney that you asked for help from?
In the early 2000s, I had vivid memories, largely because I was deeply entrenched in the fitness world. Back then, I used to read fitness magazines, and it struck me that the individuals I aspired to be like—those women gracing the covers and winning prestigious fitness awards—seemed flawless. I believed they had it all, and I thought I could never measure up to them because I hadn't gone to college, I wasn't an athlete, and I didn't fit into that mold. I thought they were masters of everything. The world, it seemed, was projecting this message that we had to be experts in every aspect of our lives. But fast forward to today, and that's one of the reasons I appreciate the internet. It's shown me that you don't have to be a jack-of-all-trades; you just need to focus on your strengths and find ways to collaborate with people who excel in areas where you don't. If it's true, and I believe it is, that we should concentrate on what we're good at, we can accomplish so much more.
[5:48] How did you get to the point of making people pay you?
The first time I received payment for my work was out of desperation, leading me to question if we always need our backs against the wall to succeed. Most of my significant successes were born from a place of necessity and frustration, such as when my husband lost his job and we faced dire financial circumstances. I realized I had to change my situation. My dream was to be in the fitness industry, but my lack of education held me back. It was only when our situation hit rock bottom, with our home, cars, and $300,000 in debt lost, that I decided to take action. In a moment of desperation, I discovered the power of 'on-demand’ motivation. But it would be great if we didn't always need a crisis to activate our potential. I've seen that a simple realization of unhappiness in a 35-45 minute conversation can be enough to drive change. We don't always need our backs against the wall to make a change. So, my earlier question about whether desperation is a prerequisite for success is still intriguing to me. It's a topic that leads to the realization that we can transform our lives without waiting for a major crisis. My journey started with a lack of a high school diploma, but it eventually led me to a place of gratitude and empowerment.
[10:48] Is there any other part that led to not graduating high school?
I grew up in a small town and belonged to a very restrictive religion with just 114 members in our congregation. I was homeschooled throughout high school and had virtually no social life. In my early years, I used to go door-to-door, preaching and trying to sell the idea of the end of the world, which wasn't an easy task. However, this experience taught me the art of conviction and persuasion. As a teenager, I started feeling a calling for something bigger, although I couldn't quite define it. This longing for a different path, particularly in fitness leadership, wasn't possible within my religious community. At the age of 18, I made the difficult decision to leave my religion, which meant leaving behind everyone I'd known. This experience of transitioning from a familiar environment to the unknown without a support system or community continues to shape my work today. I can empathize with people going through significant life changes, whether it's a career shift, a lack of family support, or leaving everything behind. My personal journey has fueled my passion for helping others in similar situations.
[14:35] Could you specifically share what you do now?
I experienced a series of transitions in my life. I faced tough times after leaving home but found my calling in the fitness world. Working with people made me realize that mindset was crucial for change, not just physical training. This led me to personal development, which helped me deal with anxiety and opened a world of possibilities. I started writing books and organizing events to help others break through their limiting beliefs. After my book was published, I entered a phase of self-discovery. Attending dinners with my husband's friends, who were discussing investments and business opportunities, sparked my interest. These conversations were vastly different from those I had with my female friends. I recognized the need to bridge the gap for women looking to grow financially and professionally. So, I started a female-centric company, raising $2 million from 54 female investors. Our upcoming product, a beauty hydration solution, will launch soon. This journey has been transformative, like jumping several steps ahead into a different reality.
[21:0] What made you think you can take money from people in common and make it successful?
This journey was a soul-searching adventure. At first, I was in a place of uncertainty, wondering about what's next. I've learned to fast forward my life by a few years and immerse myself in that feeling. But this time, the idea seemed too daunting, like something the "future me" should handle. I even thought about Sara Blakely, the Spanx founder, and how she didn't hold back when she had the idea for her product. I needed evidence that I could do this. I looked at her beginnings and compared them to my current situation. In some ways, I had a bigger network and resources. This idea wasn't beyond me; I could make it happen. Then I questioned why I should wait. What am I going to learn first? Learning happens on the job, after all. I realized that I could be resourceful, humble enough to ask for help, and smart enough to put together a team. It was a one-step-at-a-time process. But most importantly, I couldn't bear the thought of living with unfulfilled dreams and avoiding the scary stuff. I had already experienced the pain of avoidance and knew it wasn't a path I wanted to follow. I didn't want to choose a self-inflicted painful prison. So, I decided to move forward and embrace the challenge.
[25:40] Did you have anybody around you who had the opposite energy?
I've learned that your surroundings, especially the people in your life, have a stronger influence on you than your willpower alone. When you're considering something new, one of the first things to change is the people you surround yourself with. It might not always be possible to swap out everyone around you, but you can choose to spend more time with people who empower and support your goals rather than those who hold you back. This can be a difficult decision to make and act upon, but it's a crucial step.
Just like we tell our kids not to hang around with certain groups at school because they'll be influenced by them, the same goes for adults. If you want to believe that something is possible for you, spend time in rooms full of people who also believe that anything is possible. Your beliefs can be influenced by the limiting beliefs of those around you, so make sure to immerse yourself in an environment where the prevailing mindset is one of limitless potential. Surrounding myself with like-minded individuals who have similar goals and have overcome challenges has busted my limiting beliefs.
[29:39] Have you ever experienced any unexpectedly amazing things?
I'm immensely grateful for the love and challenges I've experienced in life. I've come to deeply appreciate the importance of challenges. When faced with something incredibly difficult, it's not that I love it or feel great about it because it's still hard, and there's a part of me that wants to run away from it or hide from my emotions. Even thinking about it can bring tears to my eyes. However, I've learned that on the other side of these challenges, I get to meet a version of myself that's connected to something greater, something like a profound connection with my Creator. It's difficult to explain, but it's as if you gain a new perspective, heightened perception, compassion, and empathy.
Now, instead of wanting to run from challenges or resist them, I try my best to run towards them. Even when I don't want them to come, I know that something valuable will emerge from these experiences. It's a belief that's ingrained in me, and it's become a precious gift.
[36:20] What are your overarching goals for this venture? Are you considering other paths or staying firmly committed to the current venture?
I absolutely love this question, and I appreciate you asking. There are a few things I'd like to do with my business. First, I want to sell it because it's an exciting prospect, and I also genuinely want to explore new opportunities. I have some creative ideas for the business that I'm eager to bring to life. One of my main goals is to structure it in a way that's somewhat akin to network marketing, though not quite the same. I want to empower women through the company, offering various programs and initiatives that could potentially benefit other businesses that follow a similar model. The world of marketing is evolving, and I believe people are craving a sense of community. I want to find ways for businesses to provide this community experience, moving beyond the superficial connections on platforms like Facebook. I'm particularly excited about creating opportunities for people to earn income through our business. This is part of a broader vision to encourage women to invest in each other. I believe that there's an endless well of potential and creativity, and it's crucial to demystify the process of starting a business, developing a product, and exploring new ideas.
[44:45] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
She’s going to be your permission to do anything you want to do.
Key Quotes
[5:10-5:20] You don't have to know everything; instead, focus on what you excel at, build a team, or surround yourself with those who complement your skills.
How to connect with Lori Harder
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loriharder
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LoriHarder
Twitter: https://twitter.com/loriharder
Tue, 31 Oct 2023 - 46min - 390 - Success Beyond Success with Paige Dungan
Welcome back to the Aww podcast. Today's guest is not only a dear friend but also someone I had the pleasure of working closely with during the past 100 episodes. She played a pivotal behind-the-scenes role in shaping this podcast. Since then, she has embarked on an exciting journey in her career, specializing in helping authors amplify their brand and utilize their books as effective marketing tools. So, as you listen to Paige Duncan, I encourage you to keep an ear out for nuggets of wisdom that you can apply to your own life.
[3:18] Why should I listen to you?
The first thing is that I'm genuinely curious. When I'm talking to anyone, whether it's you on a park bench or someone else, I don't have any ulterior motives. I simply let my curiosity guide me. I ask questions and start conversations based on what intrigues me or what I find interesting about the person.
[4:10] What would your initial conversation be like when approaching someone who has just released a book and expressed a desire to make a significant impact but is unsure of where to begin?
I believe it's crucial to be transparent when discussing a book or sharing your thoughts. It's essential to let everyone know right from the start that you're not in the league of those best-selling authors or well-known entrepreneurs we admire. These accomplished individuals didn't possess any special knowledge or expertise when they first started. It's important to remember that we all began from a place of not knowing much more than the next person.
[5:11] Could you share some insights into your background and experiences growing up that have shaped you into the person you are today?
I've always had a desire to serve, connect, and create something of my own since I was a child. When I was just six years old, I began selling painted rocks to my neighbors, and looking back, I'm grateful for their support, even though I'm not sure why they bought painted rocks. This was my first foray into entrepreneurship, creating a product that could benefit others. Simultaneously, while selling those painted rocks, I was also writing poems. A few weeks ago, I revisited my parents' home in Arkansas, and they made me take all my childhood belongings with me. In those stacks of journals and poems, I found my early passion for writing. Writing was my way of expressing myself as a child, especially since I was often labeled as emotional and someone with big feelings. Writing became my outlet. Through writing, I developed a love for books during my preteen years. Interestingly, I didn't start with the personal development genre. Instead, I began with the Boxcar Children's series, which many of you may be familiar with. It was a form of escapism, transporting me to different worlds where I could be anyone and do anything, allowing my imagination to run wild. This is where my love for books truly began.
[7:18] Your parents supported your creative endeavors and allowed you to explore your interests freely. How do you think this early support and the freedom to be yourself contributed to your personal and professional development?
It sounds like my parents recognized early on that I was destined for a different path than the rest of my family, and they accepted that. They understood that I wouldn't fit the traditional mold they might have had in mind. For me, it was crucial to find an outlet that served me personally rather than being directed toward a particular sport or activity. Writing and books became my creative outlets. At the time, I don't think my parents fully grasped how much these interests would shape my life. They probably saw it as a nice hobby. Little did they know that more than 20 years later, I would be where I am now. Writing and reading not only became my passions but also boosted my confidence, something I lacked during my youth.
[10:05] What happened in your journey that landed you where you are now?
In high school, I discovered my gift for communication and connecting with people. Despite my lack of self-confidence, I had a deep passion for getting to know others. As I approached college, I considered how to channel this passion into a career. I didn't want to follow the traditional path of becoming a news reporter or pursuing communications. Instead, I enrolled in college with a business degree and minored in communications and religion, as I attended a private school. After college, I ventured into various opportunities that took me away from my true calling. It took me several years to find my way back to my purpose and passion. I had followed the expectations and advice of others for a while before I finally stood up for myself and decided to pursue my path differently.
[11:45] Was there like a specific AWW shift moment or a catalyst moment?
The pivotal "aww" moment for me occurred when we had to close down a business right after I graduated from college. My mom and I had opened a boutique cosmetic store, which was ahead of its time in the market. Unfortunately, it didn't succeed, and we had to shut it down. At that point, I thought I had everything figured out, and this business venture was going to be my journey. This experience forced me to undergo a significant mindset shift. I had to move away from expecting things to go according to plan and shift towards a more adaptive mindset. Instead of assuming that everything would last forever, I began looking at things incrementally and asking myself what skill sets I needed to develop to navigate the path I was on. Rather than going on autopilot, which is what I had been doing, I started to challenge the way I approached opportunities and situations. This period in my life also taught me the concept of "failing forward," although it was a challenging lesson to learn right after college.
[13:52] Can you share more about the transition from Dickey's Barbecue to Success Magazine and how it shaped your career and journey?
I have a story that perfectly illustrates that, Anthony. There was a pivotal moment in my life after the closure of the cosmetic store. I decided to move from Arkansas to Dallas, Texas, to start fresh. I wanted a clean slate. I vividly remember sitting in a hotel room with my mom, tears streaming down my face, and I asked her, "Mom, when will I figure out my path and create something for myself?" I felt utterly crushed at that moment.
During that conversation with my mom, I had a realization that I needed to let go of my ego. I had gone from thinking I knew everything and having my own business to recognizing that I needed to start over. So, I decided to take an entry-level position in the marketing and PR department at Dickey's Barbecue. It was a humbling experience, but I knew I had to learn and build my skillset from the ground up. It took about five years at Dickey's and my second employer before I felt confident and equipped with the necessary tools to succeed and build my career. This journey taught me the value of starting over and continually learning and growing.
[15:20] How did that opportunity come to be?
It's a rather amusing story, Anthony. After returning to Dallas from Austin, I was consulting with Dickey's Barbecue once again. My desire was always to work in the media industry due to my PR background. I came across a rather questionable job posting, not even on LinkedIn, but I thought, "Why not give it a shot?" So, I went to the interview, Anthony, and keep in mind they were building their new headquarters, so they were operating from an office in a warehouse in Denton, a town outside Dallas. During the interview, I received two job offers. One was for a digital marketing role, which they desperately needed but didn't match my skill set or passion. The other was for a position at Success Magazine, which was undergoing a transformation and not the powerhouse it is today. I had to decide, and it perfectly illustrates how your career can go in two directions. One option offered me the world in digital marketing, but it didn't align with my goals. The other was with a struggling magazine but had an excellent boss, Jim McCabe, who I believed would become a mentor and influential figure in my life. This is where my entrepreneurial spirit came into play, Anthony. I wanted to take a leap and build something from scratch. When I started, there wasn't even a defined PR role; I had to create it myself.
[24:55] Do you mind sharing what it is that you've ventured deeply into now?
It's often said that the third time's the charm, and I truly believe it is in my case. I now run an agency called The Front Porch Collective, where we specialize in assisting individuals who want to establish their authority in the media and public relations realm. While our client base predominantly consists of authors, we also work with various talented individuals, which is how our paths aligned. Our main focus lies in helping our clients make their voices heard in today's crowded marketplace. We achieve this through the art of storytelling, promoting authenticity, and fostering genuine connections. It's no secret that building these connections, especially those needed to reach the levels of success one aspires to, isn't something everyone excels at. That's where we step in, providing the expertise and guidance required to help our clients shine and stand out in their respective fields.
[33:03] How do you think people are failing with good books?
The main issue I've observed, even among best-selling authors I've worked with, is the misconception that a book will sell itself. Authors often fail to create a robust marketing and media plan for their book. It's essential to start this plan six to nine months in advance and execute it actively. Many authors expect their books to magically succeed without proper marketing. A book without a strategic plan becomes mere decoration. Authors should understand that publishers won't guarantee a book's success; it's their responsibility to sell it. A well-marketed book can open doors, leading to speaking opportunities and establishing credibility. It serves as an excellent business card, showcasing unique knowledge that only the author can offer. Additionally, a book's content can provide material for years to come, simplifying content creation for social media and other platforms.
[45:15] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
There would be nobody who felt like they didn't belong, and I would make sure everybody felt that their voice was valuable.
Key Quotes
[26:35-26:40] Where I always tell everybody to start is learning what they're writing about and what they're working on and serving them as a cheerleader.
How to connect with Paige Duncan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tfpcollective
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paigeofpositivity
Twitter: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Tue, 10 Oct 2023 - 47min - 389 - How to Negotiate with a Narcissist - Rebecca Zung
In today's podcast, our guest is Rebecca Zung, who has taken a unique path in life. She faced challenges from a young age, being bullied for her Asian heritage and navigating life as a single mom at 22. Despite these obstacles, she forged her journey, veering away from family expectations. She left her first marriage, pursued a career in law, and rose to become one of the nation's top family law practitioners. Her accomplishments extend to representing celebrities like Arnold Schwarzenegger's goddaughter. However, she ventured into a niche in which many needed guidance on narcissism. Rebecca recognized the significance of understanding and dealing with narcissists in today's world. This episode promises to deliver valuable insights into her unique journey and expertise in handling narcissistic individuals. Tune in for an enlightening discussion.
[2:35] Why should I listen to you?
I care deeply about giving people access to justice. It is my mission to help people break free from toxic relationships and get access to justice so that they can live authentically and create new beginnings and new futures.
[3:20] Where did your base of understanding or awareness of this come to pass?
I hail from McLean, Virginia, which, surprisingly, had its share of racism despite not appearing so. My dad, an anesthesiologist, worked at a DC hospital, while my mom, of German descent, was a nurse. I'm half Chinese and half German, resulting in a perceived lack of "fun genes" and a strong work ethic. Childhood wasn't easy; I faced bullying due to my Asian background, even though I attended Chinese school on Saturdays. While I didn't fit in at Chinese school, I found belonging within my extended family. My dad's unwavering support contrasted with the challenging bullying experience. Nevertheless, I excelled in high school, ranking second in my class. My form of rebellion led to dropping out of college at 19, getting married, and becoming a mother of three by 22. Post-divorce, I became a single mom, worked as an inner-city schoolteacher during the day, and attended law school at the University of Miami at night, even making law reviews. Law school introduced me to a remarkable woman married to a judge and top family law attorney who hired me, launching my career in family law. I later represented billionaires and celebrities, expanding into a successful media career as a national TV correspondent. However, a pivotal shift from law to entrepreneurship exposed me to a covert narcissist, reigniting memories of childhood bullying and prompting me to delve deeper into the subject.
[11:30] How can one discern between someone who is having a bad day and a narcissist?
That's an excellent question because I used to believe that narcissists were exclusively male, often misogynistic, loud, dominating the room, and constantly boasting about themselves. I had no idea that narcissists could be female and display covert behaviors. Narcissism is more complex than I initially thought. It exists on a spectrum, with a recognized personality disorder in the DSM-5. At its core, narcissism is characterized by a deep inner emptiness. Individuals on this spectrum seek to fill this void through external means, manipulating and using people to extract any semblance of value. It's like there's a perpetual black hole inside them that can never be satisfied. They desperately yearn for external validation to the point of depletion while still feeling unsatisfied. Narcissists attempt to fill this void in a couple of ways. They might pursue what I call "diamond-level supply," which involves impressing others with flashy possessions, big houses, or wealth. Alternatively, they seek "coal level supply," which represents the darker aspect of narcissistic supply. This involves controlling, manipulating, debasing, or mistreating others to elevate themselves by diminishing those around them.
[14:20] Did you, at some point in time, feel bad like you should have known?
Well, the individual I dealt with was a covert narcissist, which presents a subtler and more understated form of narcissism compared to the overt or grandiose narcissist. Overt narcissists tend to enter a room and dominate it, demanding the best table at a restaurant and boasting about their achievements. They are quite obvious in their self-centered behavior. On the other hand, covert narcissists are just as narcissistic but in a less overt manner. They engage in behaviors that often come with plausible deniability, allowing them to keep their hands seemingly clean. For example, they might claim not to have seen you in an email or express surprise about your presence at a meeting they supposedly missed. These actions are subtle, passive-aggressive, and often accompanied by a charming facade that makes them well-liked by everyone around them.
[17:50] Can you share how your brand grew?
While parting ways with my business partner, I embarked on an intriguing journey. I dived into understanding the YouTube algorithm and grasped the concept of funnels, all while managing my law practice and regular commutes. My quest for knowledge extended to narcissism, not specifically related to my situation but for deeper insight. As I immersed myself in extensive reading on the subject, my collection of narcissism books grew behind me. This newfound wisdom unexpectedly converged with events in late 2019, when the world was undergoing significant changes. I began applying my understanding of narcissism to my legal cases, leading to remarkable progress. The realization that I might be onto something significant prompted me to create YouTube content in January 2020, focusing on dealing with narcissists. My channel had a modest 300 subscribers, making monetization elusive. However, my videos on negotiating with narcissists defied the odds, gaining substantial traction. March 11, 2020, marked the release of my course, coinciding with the onset of the global COVID-19 pandemic. The inaugural webinar, titled "The Three Must-Have Secrets to Communicating with a Narcissist," aimed to promote the course. Despite these challenges, my efforts paid off, resulting in explosive growth for my YouTube channel, accumulating 400,000 subscribers and 40 million views. I successfully sold 10,000 SLAY programs, introduced a certification program, and authored a book featuring a foreword by Chris Voss. In just three years, my life underwent a profound transformation.
[23:40] What prompted you to write the book, and what was the motivation behind its timing? As you penned it, were you envisioning a specific audience, like mothers, colleagues, or someone else?
Approximately 1 in 15 people display narcissistic tendencies or possess personality disorders lacking empathy, which include conditions like bipolar disorder or antisocial personality disorder. If each of these individuals emotionally abuses just three people during their lifetime, it affects 158 million Americans or 3.4 billion people globally, and this estimate may even be conservative. Traditional approaches to dealing with narcissistic individuals as if they were regular, reasonable people are ineffective. My methods have proven to work, as demonstrated by over 10,000 individuals who have shared their transformative experiences with me. Many have even expressed that my tools saved them from severe situations, such as contemplating suicide. This reinforces my belief that I'm on the right path and meant to do this work. Recognizing that not everyone can afford access to the assistance I provide, I've taken steps to establish a 501(c)(3) organization in collaboration with Lindsay Snyder, owner of In-N-Out. My passion for this cause stems from the belief that everyone should have access to justice.
[26:38] How does understanding and dealing with narcissistic individuals contribute to addressing issues of justice?
Narcissistic behavior stems from unique brain structures formed through early and consistent exposure to childhood trauma. Trauma prompts our brains to initiate a fight or flight response, releasing adrenaline and other hormones for heightened strength and speed. In children repeatedly exposed to trauma, this response floods their limbic system, causing arctic development. While their prefrontal cortex continues to develop, the limbic system remains underdeveloped. As adults, encountering triggering stimuli puts narcissists in survival mode, resulting in narcissistic injury. Their behavior may appear irrational to others, but it feels rational to them. Sometimes, they don't even remember their actions during this period. In negotiations or conversations, most expect a reasonable resolution. However, narcissists prioritize taking you down, even at their own expense. This distinction matters because they find satisfaction not just in winning but also in manipulating, provoking, and seeing your discomfort. This complex behavior separates them from those solely seeking victory in negotiations.
[36:25] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
Justice for the little guy
Key Quotes
[14:10-14:19] Narcissists seek supply by impressing others and controlling and manipulating others.
[11:00-11:08] Narcissists don't attach themselves to you because you have little value; they attach themselves to you because you have so much, and it can happen to anybody.
How to connect with Rebecca Zung
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rebeccazung
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rebeccazung
Twitter: https://twitter.com/rebeccazung
Tue, 03 Oct 2023 - 38min - 388 - How to Do More of What You Love with Mark Drager
On today’s podcast, our guest is Mark Drager. He played a pivotal role in shaping the brand personality of Dark Work. However, this episode goes beyond just branding. It delves into the human element and the journey of discovering how to do more of what you love. Mark discusses how to elevate your vibe to achieve success in business and personal life, whether you're an entrepreneur or an employee. With a track record of working on 3,000 projects for 300 different companies and generating millions of dollars in business, Mark shares his insights and the human stories behind his journey. Stick around till the end to learn more about his work and how it might benefit you. Now, let's dive into the episode.
[1:50] Why should I listen to you?
Well, I don't believe I have the ego to dictate that you should. I think none of us are inherently entitled to attention. Instead, I'd be curious to know more about you. Why are you here? What brings you to Canada? Why are we both at Tim Hortons, engaging in the classic Canadian standoff of 'after you' and 'no, after you,' exchanging apologies? It's not about what you should know about me; it's about discovering who you are, understanding your challenges, and identifying where you might need assistance. As a marketer, my goal is to tailor my response to be the person you need.
[4:00] Why should somebody listen to an individual like you in that situation?
I began my journey in the digital marketing world at the age of 23. At that time, I had just become a father, and despite the challenges, I decided to quit my $ 40,000-a-year job to start my agency. Fast forward to today, I have nearly two decades of experience in this field. I've led my agency through numerous recessions, gradually growing it into a multimillion-dollar business. We've completed over 3000 projects for more than 300 different companies spanning 29 industries, resulting in around $14 million worth of creative work. My journey is a testament to the expertise and insights I can offer.
[6:35] How did your journey unfold to bring you to your current position and achievements?
I found myself at a crossroads when choosing my career path. Initially, I had dreams of becoming an architect and following in the footsteps of my family, who were all builders. The idea of designing and creating structures fascinated me. But then, as I was about to apply to colleges and universities, I hit a roadblock. I struggled with chemistry, and for the first time, things weren't coming easily to me. That fear of not excelling in subjects like chemistry made me reconsider my path to becoming an engineer. In a moment of uncertainty, I made a drastic decision. I chose to attend film school instead, believing it would be an easier route to take. I essentially ran away from the challenge I perceived in the sciences and opted for what seemed like a simpler path in filmmaking. This choice defined my journey and ultimately led me to where I am today.
[13:05] What makes you stand out and dive into this task when others might have walked away due to not matching their background or skills?
In high school, my pursuit of excellence led me initially toward architecture and engineering. I wanted to be extraordinary at something, but the daunting prospect of a 10-year journey to establish myself in this field filled me with fear. I questioned my choice and looked for a different path. That path unexpectedly led me to a sales job, which, at first, seemed unrelated to my film school background. For nine months, I felt like I wasn't using my skills and that life was passing me by. This realization drove me to make a change, and I joined a franchise. In the franchise role, I discovered my passion for connecting the dots and finding creative solutions despite limited resources. Without a team, budget, or even proper equipment, I had to learn how to deliver what was needed. The fear of presenting something entirely wrong to clients motivated me to develop a meticulous onboarding process to understand their vision accurately. This process turned out to be a game-changer when I eventually started my own company. It enabled me to extract clients' expectations effectively, leading to our company's growth into a million-dollar business. Over time, I perfected the art of understanding people's true needs and desires, a skill that has been instrumental in my journey, working on thousands of projects for hundreds of clients.
[17:15] Could you explain how your company has evolved over the past six months and share what you're currently focused on, along with the reasons behind this transition?
When the pandemic hit, I faced a pivotal moment in my agency's journey. We had 24 full-time staff and $2 million in annual revenue, but we lost a staggering 70% of our income in March 2020. This crisis forced me to ask hard questions and led to a significant shift in our direction. As the leader of an agency and someone guiding entrepreneurs in service-based businesses, I felt the pressure of determining the right strategies in a world with endless possibilities. It was overwhelming, and I didn't realize how burnt out I was becoming. However, the pandemic also permitted me to make the changes I knew were necessary. We streamlined our services and let go of some team members. It was during this break that I reflected on what I truly loved and what we excelled at. I realized that working with entrepreneurs and helping them navigate the complex world of messaging and strategy was my passion. We rebranded as Sales Loop, a refined agency exclusively serving B2B service-based businesses in the seven to eight-figure range. The key lesson I learned is that business can be fun and rewarding when you're aligned with your passion and focus on what you do best. It's about finding your sweet spot and making a positive impact on clients who truly value your expertise.
[21:55] How would you guide someone who's searching for their calling but hasn't stumbled upon it like you did with your business?
Life's journey resembles a maze of choices, each door leading to a unique outcome. In hindsight, we can connect the dots, but peering into the future, uncertainty reigns, tempting us to control every step. I've learned that life's purpose can emerge serendipitously. Embracing randomness, we explore diverse paths without fixating on predefined goals. My journey shifted from aspiring architect to film school, then to sales, franchising, and eventually founding an agency. These varied experiences, seen through a retrospective lens, define who I am today. It's vital to recognize our innate gifts, those things that feel natural, and understand their value. Mastery in one field often opens doors we never imagined. Arnold Schwarzenegger's transition from bodybuilding to acting and politics, or Michael Jordan's basketball prowess, exemplifies how excellence in one area sparks unexpected opportunities. Identify your passions, hone your skills, and welcome life's surprises, as extraordinary paths often emerge when we relinquish rigid control.
[28:00] How do you encourage individuals to explore beyond their comfort zones and realize their potential in areas they haven't tried yet?
Certainly, the shift in how I was perceived highlights a crucial point. When considering a departure from my agency business due to challenges, I contemplated a full-time podcasting career or starting a publication. Podcasting and public speaking were my passions. However, something intriguing happened when I introduced myself as a podcast host or event emcee within entrepreneurial circles. Strangely, my credibility seemed to plummet. People appeared disinterested, and I felt like I didn't belong. However, as soon as I reverted to presenting myself as an entrepreneur passionate about marketing, the dynamics changed. Suddenly, the same individuals who previously disregarded my podcasting role acknowledged my accomplishments in building a multimillion-dollar business, leading teams, and managing numerous projects. This shift wasn't about altering my identity; it was about recognizing that our perceived value can change based on how we present ourselves and the context in which we do so. While I remained the same person with the same skills and experiences, acknowledging my entrepreneurial achievements earned me newfound respect. This experience reinforces the idea that our path to success can involve unexpected detours and require us to embrace our unique strengths and journeys.
[31:50-31:55] What's your approach to tailoring your advice and value proposition when working with individuals like Tony Robbins versus someone who might be struggling with their business and needs significant help?
To earn trust and preference over competitors, you must reach more people who might not even know you exist. These challenges persist regardless of your business's size, from startups to global giants. In crafting sales, written, and social messages, your goal is to pique interest and drive sales. Unfortunately, these messages often become confusing or generic, leaving even your best prospects puzzled about your value proposition. Being equal to your competition won't cut it. You need a compelling reason for customers to choose you, not leaving it to chance.
Many businesses overlook the entire customer buying journey, focusing only on message effectiveness. They forget about what happens before and after customers engage with their brand. Lastly, brands frequently fail to showcase the remarkable qualities of their team members. Spotlighting individual expertise and dedication can significantly boost trust and customer connections.
[47:30] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
It would be that my energy and personality are the defining traits that I consistently bring into any room. I'm naturally inquisitive, exuberant, and outgoing, and it seems to resonate well with people. So, rather than downplay it, I should confidently acknowledge and own these traits as part of who I am.
Key Quotes
[26:00-26:05] The challenge lies in either not recognizing what we are truly gifted at because it comes so naturally to us.
[27:20-27:24] The more you choose and walk in a pathway, the more you find out what that pathway is about.
How to connect with Mark Drager
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markdrager
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markdragercom/
LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/markdrager
Mon, 25 Sep 2023 - 50min - 387 - How to be a Great Leader with Ken Eslick
Today's guest is Ken Eslick, someone who's achieved remarkable success, including making the Inc 5000 list this year. He's excelled in the corporate world, climbed the leadership ladder, and trained countless leaders globally. What sets him apart is his willingness to share a story of imperfection. You might wonder, how does this connect with someone who's a top-notch trainer? Well, Ken's journey has taken him through challenging times behind the scenes, despite his external success. Today, he's here to candidly discuss these experiences, extracting valuable lessons we can all apply to our lives.
[1:55] Why should I listen to you?
Why you might find value in listening to me is because I've delved into the dark work, and I can share insights gained from elevating one's identity for peak performance.
[3:40] Do you mind sharing some of your darkest moments?
I find it amusing because the darkest moments often stem from ongoing issues, not isolated events you can neatly package and move past. It's when these issues steer your identity away from who you truly are that things become challenging. Let me illustrate this with my personal experience. As a child, my family grappled with problems like addiction and my mother's suicidal tendencies. I turned to alcohol, and to some extent, drugs, as a coping mechanism, and this pattern persisted for years. People with addictive tendencies often become adept at managing their vices to maintain them in their lives. When people think of substance abuse problems, they tend to envision someone who has lost everything. However, it's more about the erosion of your potential self. Do we need to hit rock bottom to rediscover our true selves? I'm framing this within my context of alcohol addiction, but addiction can manifest in various forms like food, behavior, anger, or anything that pulls you away from your core values and purpose.
[7:28] What was the catalyst for your success?
Well, you and I crossed paths back in 2018 or 2019 at Brendon Burchard's Influencer event. At that time, I was already on the path to sobriety, but a few years earlier, my journey into personal development started with Tony Robbins. The reason I ventured into this field was that life wasn't unfolding the way I expected, so I thought personal development might hold the answer. While it did help in some aspects, I was still sidestepping a significant issue: my drinking problem. In 2017, I was about to take on a leadership role in Tony Robbins' environment, attending a course and meeting fellow ex-military individuals the night before the program. I got heavily intoxicated. The morning after, I woke up with a profound sense of misalignment with my integrity and ethics. It felt awful, like the aftermath of telling a small lie but on a much grander scale. I couldn't stand it any longer and gave myself an ultimatum: address this issue head-on or walk away. I realized that pursuing a leadership role while battling alcoholism couldn't coexist. So, that marked the beginning of my journey to sobriety. I reached out to a friend in Alcoholics Anonymous, and that moment served as a clear catalyst, even though there were other significant moments before. It's crucial to note that readiness varies for each individual. You may not be ready until you hit that point where change becomes a non-negotiable choice.
[11:50] How did you know you were ready?
The turning point for me came when I finally had enough leverage on myself. In the Tony Robbins community, we often discuss the "Dickens Process," which draws inspiration from Charles Dickens's "A Christmas Carol." It's a process of envisioning the potential consequences of continuing with one's current behaviors. You start to ask yourself, "What if I keep going down this path?" and, more importantly, "What does that mean for my children and my family?" During that period, I was overwhelmed, though I didn't initially label it as fear. Looking back, I can see it was pure fear. I was terrified, lost, and uncertain about my future. In such a mindset, abundance and success were impossible to attain. So, while it's challenging to pinpoint a single moment, it was a culmination of factors that pushed me toward change. When the decision to change became unmistakably clear, it was like my negative behaviors had awakened my soul. My soul essentially said, "Enough is enough. I'm taking charge now." This decision was relatively straightforward, but the journey of recovery wasn't. However, making that initial choice was the pivotal step, even if the process that followed wasn't always easy.
[13:15] What was the journey for you to get to where you are right now?
Personal transformation isn't limited to battling addiction; it encompasses aligning your actions with your goals. Even if someone isn't struggling with addiction, they may have behaviors conflicting with their aspirations, creating inner turmoil, akin to being two different people. As I embraced positive changes, I became acutely aware of my negative behaviors, intensifying that internal conflict. It felt like standing at a crossroads, pondering which path to take. Removing a negative habit necessitates substituting it with a constructive one—akin to smokers replacing cigarettes with healthier activities to prevent relapse. I was fortunate to have certain positive aspects in place when I resolved to change—supportive family and reasonable physical fitness. These formed a sturdy foundation. Surprisingly, I initially anticipated immediate rewards from the universe for my decision to change. However, when these rewards didn't materialize as swiftly as expected, I faced frustration. I realized that the decision to change was just the start; the true transformation required diligent work and perseverance.
[25:38] What are some of the actions you took?
Transitioning from a scarcity mindset, which convinces us that we lack the resources to give, to one of abundance is truly transformative. Acknowledging that you possess something valuable to offer, even if it's your time or energy, sends a powerful message to your brain that you have plenty to share. Initially, I expected immediate rewards when I committed to change, but they didn't materialize right away. Instead, I had inadvertently replaced my old habits with self-pity, another unproductive state. However, as I redirected my time and energy towards serving others, a gradual transformation began. It wasn't an instant overhaul, but over time, the rewards accumulated, creating a positive cycle of abundance and contribution. Service alone isn't the complete solution, but it complements the inner work we do on ourselves. It's about finding a balance where you're brimming with positivity and ready to share it with the world. Ultimately, when you offer value to the world, it responds with value in various forms—be it monetary gain, time, love, or appreciation. Regarding my life today, it's crucial to share the positives without any sense of boasting. By doing so, we help others see the incredible possibilities that lie beyond their current challenges. My life has undergone a remarkable transformation into a journey characterized by growth and abundance.
[33:00] What out-of-character actions did you take to transition into a higher version of yourself or your new, more conscious identity?
Life often repeats its lessons until we grasp them. My brightest moments are linked to service. I coach people pro bono, shifting from scarcity to abundance by recognizing that giving, even time, signals abundance to our brains. I once expected instant rewards for choosing change, but they didn't come, partly due to inaction and replacing my old habits with self-pity. Yet, when I redirected my energy toward abundance, contribution, and service, small victories accumulated. In recent years, they've grown into something remarkable.
[41:46] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
Through my leadership, I would shape a path that may not always be straightforward but aims to make the world a better place.
Key Quotes
[23:30-23:35] If you don't find proof of who you are, your brain finds proof of who you are.
[26:24-26:28] If you think you don't have enough, you will have nothing to give to others
How to connect with Ken Eslick
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keneslick
Facebook: https://www.facebook/keneslick
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/keneslick
Tue, 19 Sep 2023 - 43min - 386 - How to Grow into Greatness with Kash Hasworth
In today’s episode, our guest is Kash Hasworth. He is a disruptive sales leader, entrepreneur, and author of "Selling Keeps You Broke". After scaling a wireless franchise to 28 locations in his early 20s, he emerged as a formidable force in the renewable energy arena. He arms his readers with the tools to learn, elevate, and disrupt.
[3:15] Why should I listen to you?
I believe life is profoundly influenced by one's perspective. The key to my ability to attract exceptional individuals and navigate my journey from a challenging past to boardroom success, scaling multiple businesses, and achieving personal breakthroughs, lies in my perspective. I view everything as working in my favor, even during failures or setbacks. Regardless of the intensity of adversity or difficulty, I see it as ultimately benefiting me rather than working against me. When you encounter someone with such a perspective, I strongly recommend welcoming them into your circle.
[5:00] Where did this skill set come from?
Regarding many of the skills I possess, such as sales and leadership, I can confidently say they weren't innate abilities. However, when it comes to perspective, I've always been more of an introvert. From as far back as I can remember, I've had a sharp perspective. What truly defined it for me, though, was experiencing the loss of very close friends. When you lose someone who feels like a brother, it hits you hard, and you realize that life shouldn't be taken so seriously. I believe it all stems from that experience, which was a pivotal point in my life. It made me understand that if I wanted to change my destination, I had to change my course.
[7:28] Can you share more about your journey during that period?
Before changing my path and coming home, my father was a notorious drug dealer, and I essentially inherited that business when I was around 14. However, when the state kicked in and took him away, he ended up serving six years in prison. Meanwhile, my mother was dealing with some health issues. I'm not making excuses, but I was the only one who could step up and be a provider. People often act based on the information they're exposed to, and our reality is a reflection of our surroundings. That was my environment. So I found myself deeply involved in the drug game at the age of 14 or 15. My father had a tough life himself, and I tried to live up to his legacy, which led to aggressive behaviors and associating with the wrong crowd. One thing led to another, and I ended up in a shootout where someone got shot. As a result, I went to prison for two years. It's crazy how life can thrust you into situations you never imagined, like when I was in foster care, completely removed from the life I once knew.
[10:30] Did you reach a point where you felt like you were finished with your previous pursuits and needed to move on? Or did you experience moments when you shifted gears abruptly, saying, 'I'm done with this'?
After my release, one thing was clear: I couldn't return to my former life. My mother still struggled, my father remained in prison, and many close friends were incarcerated, including my best friend, stationed in Germany. I initially fell back into selling drugs but soon distanced myself from friends and headed down a destructive path. One day, during my long walks to clear my head, I stumbled upon an abandoned elementary school. At a picnic table, I sat, unsure of what to ask for; I only sought a life of normalcy and a different environment. I sat there in tears, having a candid conversation with God, pleading for connections to the right people, information, and resources to escape my tumultuous past. My prayer was answered, and opportunities started to surface. The right people entered my life, offering the guidance I needed. With newfound hope and determination, I was on a path to change, leaving behind a life I knew all too well for one filled with promise and potential.
[12:56] What were the initial opportunities that helped you make that transition?
Prison, strangely enough, turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. It exposed me to adversities, hardships, and intense situations that either break you down with fear and insecurity or make you the strongest person in the room. For me, it became a benchmark for my intensity level, a level I've carried into the corporate world. In corporate spaces, I've never been intimidated because nothing matches the intensity I developed through my experiences. Failures, setbacks, losses, and terminations can't sink below the level of intensity I've known all my life. Instead, they've granted me immense confidence.
[15:10] How was your journey in this direction initially kick-off?
My journey continued when a friend introduced me to the Workforce Career Center program, which aimed to support at-risk youth from low-income backgrounds, often with criminal records or other barriers. The program placed us on job sites to gain real-life experience. Initially, they wanted me to work at the Career Center itself, eventually creating a youth liaison role for me to help other at-risk youth by sharing my story. Unfortunately, corporations shut down the idea, and the program eventually ended. I was left in the job market, still trying to find my way, and an employer was willing to hire a felon. That's when I stumbled upon an opportunity in the wireless industry, starting as a part-time sales rep at a small kiosk in Martinsville, Virginia. Little did I know that this humble beginning would launch my career in an unexpected direction.
[17:28] What do you believe were the distinguishing factors that set you apart from your counterparts and contributed to your remarkable success?
I approach every room as a student, eager to learn from others. This mindset led to the FAR method, a framework I discuss in my book. It involves studying experts, adopting their habits, and continuously improving. Starting in the wireless industry, I had minimal training and layers of leadership above me. Still, I was determined to master every role. My charismatic trainer, one of the top performers, became my mentor. I learned from him how to engage people, even in a kiosk environment where eye contact is often avoided. The company lacked training materials, but I was resolute in not returning to my previous life. I observed my trainer's charisma and adopted his tactics, always seeking to learn and grow. This approach contributed significantly to my corporate success.
[21:00] Can you describe the process of expanding a company, like the one where you assisted in growing it to 20 locations?
Initiative played a significant role in my journey. Stepping into a role before officially holding it can take you far. When recruiting, I value candidates with strong personalities and initiative. Initiative often outperforms raw talent. One key move was consistently BCCing the owner on my emails when I took over a location. This proactive communication style led the owner to ask me to handle communications company-wide. I took on these responsibilities without an immediate pay increase, but it eventually paid off. I expanded to manage multiple locations. Starting with one successful location, I realized that finding talented salespeople wasn't enough. To scale, I needed to find leaders who could replace me and run the store effectively. This unique perspective on staffing contributed to our success and the growth of multiple stores.
[25:45] What did it look like for you to look at the next progression of your career?
As we scaled the business, we managed 28 locations across four states for Intel's wireless. Intel's Wireless was a regional carrier similar to Verizon or Sprint, operating in four states. Despite having fewer locations than some competitors, we became their number-one dealer by sales volume. However, the wireless landscape changed. First, Intel's Wireless was acquired by Sprint, and we navigated that transition successfully. But then, Sprint merged with T-Mobile, and to become a T-Mobile dealer, you needed over 300 locations. Realizing that leaving on their terms wouldn't be favorable, the owner explored an exit strategy. Back in the marketplace, I joined another wireless company as a sales rep, quickly becoming their top performer among 400+ salespeople. I moved into leadership roles and helped them scale a door-knocking team. But when that company went under, I found myself back in the marketplace, ultimately leading to the creation of Solar Ignite Group.
[35:08] What was the catalyst for a book coming out of you?
The book is titled "Selling Keeps You Broke: A Holistic Approach to Disruptive Sales Performance to Earn Big." I decided to write this book because it was a natural progression of my journey. It only took me 29 days to write because I had been documenting these insights throughout my entire career. My digital notebook is filled with frameworks, quotes, and key concepts that have shaped my approach for the past 15 years. But more than just sharing my knowledge with other sales professionals, this book is a legacy for my three sons. I want to provide them with a blueprint for achieving success and winning in life.
[37:35] Do you still see yourself growing and learning as you age, even with the blueprint you've created for your kids?
Success is a dynamic goal. To be successful, whether as a leader, salesperson, or elite professional in any field, one must embrace the idea that it's an ongoing, evolving journey. Every day is an opportunity to learn and improve. I dedicate time each day to absorb new content and refine my skill set because growth is continuous. I believe in instilling the same values in my children. For example, my 12-year-old son has a rule: Before he can use his PlayStation 5, he must watch at least three educational videos of his choice.
[42:29] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
To help elevate and expose people to the right information that allows them to escape the environment that they feel confined to.
Key Quotes
[26:40-26:45] If you're not aggressively investing in yourself, you're not going to be able to attract the next-level leader.
[26:50-26:55] Critically focus on self-development, communication, leadership, delegation, and accountability.
How to connect with Kash Hasworth
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kashhasworth
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/khasworth/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kash-hasworth
Tue, 12 Sep 2023 - 45min - 385 - How to Enjoy The Other Side of Success with Jeremy Delk
In today’s episode, our guest is Jeremy Delk. He has a remarkable life story, having lost his father at just seven years old. He's navigated through the ups and downs of business, even exciting companies worth hundreds of millions of dollars. What sets him apart is how he's maintained a strong connection to his heart throughout this journey. Today, we'll explore his experiences, from overcoming adversity to achieving success, and the valuable lessons he's learned along the way. We'll also touch on what it means to find true success while balancing family life and passing on those lessons.
[2:25] Why should I listen to you?
I think the 43-year-old me would have a different answer than the 20-year-old me. I have this genuine curiosity that will help me in business so much. But I have a curiosity about people, and I love learning. I really love helping. I think that's the biggest piece. So, you should listen to me because I'm going to come from the right place. I'm not going to try to sell you a pitch or something like that. I'm just going to be genuinely curious.
[3:28] When did your curiosity start to build up?
I hail from Bardstown, and growing up in this small town, I had a persistent yearning to explore beyond my comfortable surroundings. At the age of seven, my world was shattered when my father tragically lost his life in a motorbike accident. This event, though not unique in the context of loss, catapulted my family into a state of immense instability. My mom, a young single mother, suddenly found herself responsible for two small kids. It was a daunting transition for all of us. This period of instability left an indelible mark on my psyche. It forged in me a fierce determination never to return to such uncertainty. I became driven by the desire for stability and resources, fueling my journey into adulthood. As I matured, I made my fair share of mistakes, experienced both success and failure and evolved into someone with a voracious appetite for learning. I became addicted to the process, relishing in curiosity, listening intently, and eventually becoming a subject matter expert. That curiosity remains the driving force behind my journey.
[7:12] What would be your desired topic of conversation?
Opening a conversation by asking someone about themselves, their aspirations, and ambitions is incredibly powerful. People tend to open up, sharing dreams and goals. The follow-up question, often about actions taken, reveals two distinct profiles: those who've progressed and those making excuses. Entrepreneurs thrive on action, but self-imposed obstacles, like fear of failure or external judgment, frequently obstruct progress. Helping individuals recognize and overcome these mental barriers is transformative. The objective is to encourage them to take that first step, regardless of perceived obstacles, and keep moving forward. These initial actions are the foundation for lasting change.
[9:35] How do you help somebody navigate past those roadblocks, and barriers such as self-inflicted excuses?
Helping someone embark on a new venture begins with understanding their "why." Regardless of the industry, this foundational question is pivotal. Many may say they want to start a business to be wealthy, but we dig deeper to uncover their genuine motivations. Is it about financial freedom, quality time with family, or a true calling? The core reason must be visceral and compelling. It's not about buying happiness with material possessions; it's about fulfilling a deeper purpose. Once this authentic drive is found, it becomes the unstoppable force propelling them forward, leaving external opinions and doubts behind.
[27:30] Have you ever been worried about losing because the current situation is good?
My transition from New York's bustling energy to Kentucky was an eye-opener. It made me realize that some friends hadn't ventured far from their comfort zones. I have a passion for both building and fixing things, but I've also learned the importance of letting others take the reins once a project is up and running. However, my biggest worry, shared by many, is ensuring my children don't grow up entitled. I want them to understand the value of hard work and perseverance. Instilling good habits and a strong work ethic is crucial; I'd rather not raise entitled individuals. This concern outweighs most others.
[37:20] What is the purpose and message behind your book?
The book, "Without a Plan," is my memoir of the past two decades in the business world. It's a raw account of my journey, including turning down multi-million-dollar offers and facing rapid successes and failures. It delves into both professional and personal aspects, touching on experiences like marriage therapy and trauma exploration related to my father. The overarching message is to take action and begin your journey, whatever it may be. Life is unpredictable, and tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity; it's where growth happens. Don't let the fear of others' opinions hold you back. People are busy with their lives, and your failures don't define you in their eyes. It's your journey, so own it and keep moving forward.
[43:27] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
To tell a story about the importance of being authentic.
Key Quotes
[17:30-17:33] What is important to you should be all that matters
[20:50-20:52] Humans are happiest in motion
How to connect with Jeremy Delk
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremysdelk
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/jeremysdelkofficial
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremysdelk
Tue, 05 Sep 2023 - 48min - 384 - How to Get Superior Health with Dr. Matt Chalmers
In today’s episode, our guest is Dr. Matt Chalmers. He is a health and wellness expert, author, and speaker who specializes in the areas of long-term wellness, nutrition, women’s health, weight loss, athlete wellness, and holistic healing. He is also the author of the bestselling book “Pillars of Wellness,” which helps readers cut through the information overload about wellness, exercise, and diet to figure out the actions they can take that will have the greatest impact.
[2:30] Why should I listen to you?
Typically, the conversations I have with people revolve around important health issues. I specialize in various areas that conventional medicine may not address effectively, such as hormone therapy and cardiac prevention. Currently, my primary goal is to combat the opioid epidemic by leveraging the benefits of cannabis and ketamine. Many people either have misconceptions or limited knowledge about the tools we have to combat this crisis.
[3:40] How did you arrive at this point? Can you share the journey that led you to confidently discuss this topic on a podcast?
It's actually quite amusing. I play the medical role in what's essentially a venture capital (VC) company. Our primary task involves evaluating various deals. We work extensively with NFL athletes because they often come across questionable deals and require someone to tell them when something isn't right. So, when someone brought us a cannabis-related opportunity, it piqued our interest. At first, we didn't pay much heed, assuming it was just another offering. However, it turned out that cannabis has incredible medical potential. In fact, it can alleviate pain in 64% of cases, which rivals opioids. This completely changed my perspective on cannabis. We realized that many people were missing out on its remarkable health benefits, primarily due to misconceptions or concerns about smoking or vaping. To address this, we employ a unique technology that allows users to benefit from cannabis without smoking, vaping, or ingesting it. This method provides pain relief without the psychoactive effects. For instance, I discussed in my TED Talk how I used these cannabis strips to help my 10-year-old son recover from surgery without experiencing a high. We've found great success in using this approach to manage pain for various medical conditions. This journey started as a response to the opioid epidemic, and we believe more people should be aware of these alternatives.
[5:58] In your journey of doing this work, what sparked your passionate connection to it? Was it driven by personal experiences, childhood influences, or a desire to help a specific demographic in need?
Interestingly, I have a personal connection to this endeavor, although it's not the primary reason for my involvement. I'll share that connection with you. Back in 2007, I was in a car accident that left me with a broken left foot, a fractured left femur, and my face meeting the car's dashboard, resulting in a severe concussion. To address the pain, I was prescribed opioids. Now, here's where it gets interesting: Due to the concussion, I completely forgot that I had already taken two of those pills, and I ended up taking two more. If I hadn't woken up and realized what happened, I could have been in a dire situation. So that incident is certainly part of my connection to this cause. But the primary reason I'm deeply committed to this mission is my network of connections and driven individuals who share this vision. I firmly believe that if you have the means to make a significant positive impact on people's lives and you choose not to act, it's a tragedy. I have the resources and the drive to make a difference, and I can't let that opportunity slip by. I understand firsthand the challenges faced by individuals in similar situations, and it's a matter of doing our absolute best because there aren't many people with the kind of access we have to make a meaningful change in this field.
[7:56] So, considering that this concept has existed for a while, why do you think it's relatively unknown, and why aren't more people aware of these potentially life-changing treatments?
First of all, cannabis has been unfairly demonized for a long time, which has created a lot of skepticism and hesitation around it. People tend to view it in a negative light. As for ketamine, it's a relatively recent discovery that it can effectively break addictions about 85% of the time. This breakthrough has only come to light in the last decade or so. Despite ketamine's extensive use in pediatric surgery for its safety, its potential for addiction treatment remained largely unknown. We're working to change that by bringing this knowledge to the forefront. While there are ketamine clinics here and there, not many people are aware of its potential in addiction treatment. What sets us apart is that we've developed a technology using sublingual strips that can deliver ketamine safely and effectively. This means we can reach more people and help them overcome addiction. As we continue to share this information through platforms like podcasts, we hope to create greater awareness and meet the growing demand for this groundbreaking approach, ultimately helping more individuals break free from addiction.
[9:25] Could you explain what ketamine is? I've heard of it, but I'm not entirely sure what it is and how it works. Can you break it down for us?
Ketamine serves a dual purpose – it's used for pain management and as an anesthetic to induce unconsciousness. The crucial difference is how opioids and ketamine affect the brain. Opioids impact various brain regions, including the one responsible for autonomic respiration, which controls breathing during sleep. The danger with opioids is that they can suppress this part of the brain, causing respiratory failure and, ultimately, death. That's the primary reason opioids are so deadly. On the other hand, ketamine doesn't interfere with the part of the brain that controls respiration. This is why it's considered a safer option. Ketamine has been a staple in the medical world for some time due to its safety profile, particularly in surgeries where it's used as an anesthetic. Ketamine works by targeting NMDA receptors in the brain. Think of your brain as a tangled string, and NMDA helps straighten it out. When used in a specific regimen, known as a ketamine cycle over several days, it can effectively flush out addictive behaviors. Some individuals have reported that after a five-day session, they experienced a significant reduction in their cravings and addiction, such as in the case of cocaine. In essence, ketamine offers a safer alternative for addiction treatment without the life-threatening respiratory risks associated with opioids.
[15:56] How can we reconsider the demonization of substances like marijuana and psychedelics for potential benefits?
It's fascinating how politics often shifts with public opinion and perception. When it comes to topics like medical cannabis, it's reassuring to see that the vast majority of individuals support expanding doctors' choices for patient care, especially when these alternatives are safer. Public sentiment can have a significant impact on motivating policymakers to contemplate changes in laws. Engaging in nationwide discussions and open dialogues on these topics can help dismantle any existing barriers and clarify misunderstandings. Individuals need to express their backing for policies that resonate with their principles and the welfare of the community. In doing so, we can offer guidance to our representatives and ensure they remain attentive to our shared aspirations and necessities.
[21:10] What does life look like for you?
You know, it's one of those things when you're able to help somebody with something they've never had anyone else help them with. We do this with lives, and we do this with conditions like ulcerative colitis, and more. When you finally fix an issue that someone has been desperately struggling with, it's the most rewarding feeling you can experience. Helping someone in need is incredibly fulfilling, and I aspire to make a positive impact on as many lives as possible. I envision our work expanding beyond Dallas, reaching other areas such as California. We're also planning to offer online services. My goal for the next five years, looking ahead to 2027 or 2028, is to significantly reduce the number of deaths related to addiction. I believe we might see an increase in the next two or three years, possibly reaching around 150,000, but after that, we can make substantial progress.
[26:56] How do you envision your role in the future of this mission? Do you aspire to be the enduring face of this initiative, or are you open to passing the torch to someone else if it serves the cause better?
This is just one facet of what I do. I'm passionate about many things, and I often speak about various topics in the medical field. For example, I frequently discuss hormones, which can be a hot topic. But the truth is, I've witnessed incredible transformations in people's lives by addressing hormone imbalances. It's remarkable how it can help with brain function and other health issues. As for being the face of this movement, I'll gladly do it as long as it benefits the cause. If someone else, maybe younger or more attractive, comes along and can take the reins, that's fantastic. I'm not possessive about it. My goal is to see this initiative reach its full potential. If I don't contribute to that, it would feel like a failure because, right now, this is my purpose to make a difference.
[30:28] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I believe my gifts are strongly connected to an understanding of physiological function and a deep passion for improving health. My purpose seems to revolve around being a doctor for as many people as I can, dedicated to enhancing their overall health and wellness. In the grand scheme of all the things I've done, this aspect might be the most significant.
How to connect with Dr. Chalmers
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chalmerswellness
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrChalmers
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-chalmers
Tue, 29 Aug 2023 - 33min - 383 - Makings of a Million Dollar Life with Krista Mashore
In today’s episode, our guest is Krista Mashore. She is in the top 1% of coaches nationwide and has been a Top 1% real estate agent for 20 years. She is also the author of five best-selling books focusing on digital marketing and was named Yahoo Finance’s number 1 digital marketer to watch in 2021! Through her coaching, teaching, speaking, and training, Krista is revolutionizing the way agents and professionals market themselves online.
[ 2:00] Why should I listen to you?
I genuinely care about people. Many say, "I want to do good and help others," but I truly want to assist. I have a deep love for humanity, and I'm the type of person who wholeheartedly invests in those I care about. They might describe me as someone who pours everything into them, and I thoroughly enjoy engaging in interviews as well.
[3:40] Do you mind sharing your story?
At one point, I remember sharing a somewhat dramatic story about my husband, which involved drained bank accounts and his new girlfriend picking up our daughters for Thanksgiving. However, the real story I should have been telling was about my childhood. My upbringing felt like living in two separate worlds: one with a loving dad, a close-knit family, and enjoyable vacations, and the other with an abusive mom. My mother was physically abusive, which led me to run away from home at the age of 13. I spent a year on the run, often stealing clothes and lunch money from schoolmates just to survive. Eventually, I ended up in a group home called Hidden Hills for Girls in Cottonwood. The daily bus ride to the group home was marked with a label that essentially branded us as problem children, subjecting us to ridicule. I became the "weird kid" in school. After that year, I went to live with a foster family and haven't lived at home since I was 13. Thankfully, I reconnected with my mom, who played a crucial role in my healing journey. She attended counseling with me and openly acknowledged her actions to the family. However, the scars from physical abuse run deep, requiring extensive mental work on my part to reach the mindset and life I have today. My message is that if I can achieve multimillionaire status coming from a foster home, anyone can overcome their challenges.
[16:17] At what stage in your journey did you transition into college?
In 10th grade, I made a pivotal decision to attend college, even though I wasn't sure what I wanted to pursue. My college journey hit a rough patch when I flunked out in my first year, with a measly 1.6 GPA. I returned to Antioch, where we both currently live. To support myself, I took on a full-time job at Costco, working 40 hours a week during the day, while attending evening classes at the University of Hayward extension. During this time, I discovered my passion for teaching and eventually became a third-grade teacher, a role I embraced for six years. However, when my husband had an affair and I needed to care for my children, I made a major shift. I had previously ranked in the top 1% in real estate for 17 consecutive years. Five years ago, I transitioned out of real estate to teach real estate agents, lenders, and entrepreneurs, including individuals like yourself. It's been quite a journey.
[18:17] Can you share the story of how your life took a significant turn when a woman walked into your life while you were still working as a teacher and a parent, ultimately changing your path?
I was a teacher when a mom from my classroom shared that she had made $13,000 selling a house. It struck me that $13,000 could take me three months to earn, so I impulsively called the Allied School of Real Estate from my classroom, took the real estate test, and got licensed. However, my life took a challenging turn when my daughter fell seriously ill with spinal meningitis and kidney failure. It was a difficult time as they predicted she might not make it due to multiple strokes. I decided to be a stay-at-home mom to care for her. Around the same time, I discovered my husband was having an affair, so I needed to dive into real estate. In my first year, despite facing adversity, I sold 69 houses. My motivation was my absolute "why" – providing my daughters with a safe, loving, and happy home, a stark contrast to my own upbringing filled with abuse and hardship.
During Thanksgiving, as my daughters were taken away by my husband's new girlfriend, I hit a low point, drowning my sorrows in a bottle of wine by 10 a.m., gazing at our empty, undeveloped backyard. At that moment, I realized I needed to rebuild both my life and the backyard for my girls. Within a year, I transformed it into a beautiful space with a pool, creating cherished memories for my family.
[20:40] If we were to delve deep and examine it, what do you believe is the driving force behind your accomplishments?
Teaching someone how to be driven can be a challenge because drive comes from within. Personally, I've always been a fighter, resilient, and unafraid of challenges. I persist even when faced with fear, and I maintain a strong sense of optimism. Successful people tend to look for reasons why something will work and see value in what they do. I share this mindset. Instead of dwelling on the "how," I focus on taking action. When I see others achieving great things, I believe I can too. Instead of asking "how," I often hire the right people or seek guidance from those who have achieved similar goals. Taking massive, effective action, guided by someone with experience, has been a key factor in my success.
I believe that anyone can achieve their goals by taking action and not being discouraged by the seemingly impossible. It's about pushing forward and not giving up, even when you're the underdog.
[26:38] What Is Your New Book about?
I'm thrilled about this book—it's a passion project and my favorite among the five bestsellers I've written. I genuinely believe it could become a New York Times bestseller. The book explores how our thoughts, around 30,000-70,000 daily, shape our lives. I've mastered the art of transforming negative thoughts into positive ones. Negative thoughts can lead to doubts, like not being able to compete with those who have millions of followers. I've trained myself to interrupt negative patterns with a rubber band snap, switch it, and reframe the thought positively. It's a practice supported by research. This book delves into the science behind it, showing how training your mind to work for you, not against you, can transform your life.
[42:15] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
It is earning trust through value, and that's a promise I've upheld. My motto has always been to prioritize people over things, as versions of things may change, but people remain significant in all aspects of life.
Key Quotes
[31:13-31:17] Action ends suffering; take the first step or the fifth, but never stop moving forward.
[32:10-32:15] Success breeds success
How to connect with Krista Mashore
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristamashore
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/kristamashore
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CoachingKrista
Tue, 22 Aug 2023 - 42min - 382 - How to Unlock a Bulletproof Mindset with Craig Siegel
In today’s episode, our guest is Craig Siegel. He is a value-based and high-energy Global Keynote Speaker and also the co-creator of the CLS experience. His journey is captivating – from growing up without a strong sense of self-confidence to venturing into the world of Wall Street. While he achieved success in certain areas, he realized his heart's desires were unfulfilled. This realization led him to a unique reinvention journey, departing from his Wall Street path to a new world of service. Through this transformation, he not only built a remarkable personal brand but also sparked a movement embraced by countless individuals worldwide. Tune in to this incredible episode where we delve into Craig's journey and explore how you can adapt his reinvention formula to transform your own life.
[2:24] Why should I listen to you?
I have a genuine passion for nurturing relationships. In every interaction I engage in, I aim to leave on a positive and elevated note. This drive stems from the simple desire to raise the energy levels. If someone's at a nine, I want to help them reach a ten; if it's a six, I aim for seven; and even if they're already at ten, I'd love to see them hit fifteen. It brings me a sense of accomplishment to infuse each encounter with vitality, enthusiasm, and positive vibes.
[3:54] What is the source of the energy that fuels your positivity?
Before my transformation during the pandemic, I was entrenched in Wall Street for a solid 13 years. Specifically, in the few years leading up to the pandemic, I hit rock bottom. It was a time marked by a toxic relationship and the weight of my best friend and father's battle with cancer. While I had my own business and was making money, my definition of success back then was rather immature, and yes, money isn't the whole picture, as I've come to realize. I was utterly unhappy. This period of lockdown, though, I viewed as an unprecedented chance to reevaluate my life's direction. I recognized that I had a choice: to stick with the story I was living or to rewrite a new narrative. That's when I decided to put my faith in my purpose and passion, and the pieces began falling into place. People often comment that they've never seen someone build a personal brand so rapidly, and I'm truly humbled by that acknowledgment. But what I always emphasize is that it's not about time; it's about alignment. I've learned that having contrast, experiencing the wilderness of being lost and miserable, and then discovering alignment and purpose, can make all the difference.
[9:03] Can you share a specific action you took that enabled you to authentically tap into that state?
This holds immense power, and I'm genuinely grateful you brought it up. I've truly delved into the spiritual aspects, like aligning with different frequencies and vibrational energy. Yet, I need to harmonize this with the practical. I've noticed a trend where some individuals, while well-intentioned, can lean too heavily into the spiritual realm, disregarding strategy and tactics. Balancing both is crucial. It's an unspoken truth, and for me, that realization hit during the lockdown. I observed endless distractions like TV shows and negativity, and I made a conscious choice not to be swept away by that tide. Instead, I took immediate action. In my journey, money wasn't my priority at first. I recognized the potency of personal branding and embarked on content creation. I didn't even have a laptop for the initial eight months, yet I persevered. Through Facebook, I utilized lookalike audiences, virtually shaking hands with people, and extending my network. My sole purpose was to build a community, and the excitement I felt when people appreciated my content was unparalleled.
[14:38] Did this audacious goal and vision that you're talking about, was it clear to you from the start, or did it evolve and take shape as you progress forward?
I remember completing a run in Central Park and spontaneously giving birth to the CLS brand. It was a dormant idea I'd registered years before, activated on GoDaddy. Seated on a bench there, I shaped my brand. Returning home, I didn't possess a laptop. I flipped my phone around, recording a video selfie-style, outlining the brand's mission. This was the first time I truly felt clarity. The lockdown provided a stillness that allowed me to connect and filter out the noise. My aspiration wasn't to become the next Tony Robbins but to be the original Craig Segal, although Tony's work certainly influenced me. So, I envisioned a multi-lane highway, encompassing speaking, podcasting, coaching, book deals, and more. The goal was to become the "Apple" of personal development – reputable and high-quality. With the intention set, I aligned my actions accordingly. However, let me be transparent – I'm still in the process of figuring things out. While I'm quite accessible now and involved in intriguing opportunities, many are unexpected.
[18:15] Could you share your journey, including the experience of your injury and the process of getting into running?
I recall that period vividly. I was deep into training for the Chicago event, while also preparing for a speaking engagement that involved some of our mutual acquaintances. The incident that transpired was a result of playing football on the beach and sustaining an injury. Initially, it was misdiagnosed as a ligament issue. However, it turned out that there was a tumor on my foot, which was quite astonishing. This experience fostered a significant change in my mindset – a shift from viewing life as happening to us, to understanding that it actually happens to us. Despite the uncertainty surrounding the situation, I chose to stay optimistic, maintain my course, and navigate through the process. The tumor was removed, and it was a relief to discover that it was benign. Following the surgery, something extraordinary occurred – I decided to run the New York City Marathon, even though I had no physical training due to the short timeframe. This decision wasn't solely about me; it was an opportunity to inspire others and redirect the focus toward a greater purpose. Moreover, it allowed me to raise funds for the American Cancer Society, a cause that held immense significance due to my father's battle with cancer. Cancer touches countless lives, including my own, and being able to contribute to this cause was deeply meaningful. Reflecting on it now, I'm reminded of the conversations we had during that time and the resilience that emerged from the challenges faced.
[19:45] Please tell us about your book and explain why it must be written and published at this moment in time.
A book was indeed one of the lanes on the 10-lane highway I envisioned, but timing and patience have been essential since my life reinvention, not just a career shift. As you might know, I got engaged last summer, and this change has transformed every facet of my life. My approach to the book reflects my newfound patience. Initially, I wanted a major publisher rather than self-publishing, akin to having a movie studio support my work. The idea was to build the brand, not rush things. The pivotal moment arrived when I saw success among my peers, like our mutual friend Ed Mylett, who partnered with Wiley for his book. Publishers started approaching me, including Wiley, and the timing felt right. Negotiating terms led to a gratifying deal, and I saw this as the right moment to embark on the book journey. The significance of the book lies in its introduction of CLS to the world, but it's more than just about me. People are curious about my journey, but I want them to realize that if I can achieve this transformation, anyone can. This isn't just about me fulfilling an assignment; it's my calling. I aim to empower others to rediscover their potential.
[24:00] When individuals find themselves in this uncertain space, who can they engage in their thoughts or converse with to navigate away from that juncture?
Playing it safe is actually the riskiest move we can make. It's important to create a sense of urgency for everyone. Our time here is limited, and while we're having this human experience, we mustn't forget that it's finite, with an expiration date. So settling for a life out of alignment, a life not filled with love and passion, is simply not acceptable.
I vividly recall the days when I would eagerly wait for the weekends, wishing work away. I've been through dark periods, where I tried escaping my reality with alcohol. But having connected with so many people, I've realized that this struggle to find deeper meaning is quite common. The moment you recognize you're destined for more than your current situation, that's a breakthrough. It means you're now aware of the possibilities beyond your current circumstances. What's crucial is gaining clarity on what that "more" entails and then taking action to steer your life in that direction. Success can come remarkably swiftly when you're aligned with your purpose.
[27:45] Have you encountered instances during your journey of transitioning and reinventing yourself where others didn't offer their support for the change you were going through?
Personally, I didn't face that. It's a rare occurrence. When I embarked on this journey, I felt a deep sense of excitement and clarity. I recognized that while I had succeeded in areas that weren't really aligned with my passions, like my past corporate job or running, which I enjoyed but wasn't naturally inclined towards, personal development was where my heart truly lay. For the first time, I committed to presenting myself genuinely, as the real Craig Segal, shedding my past tendencies of being a people pleaser. As I ventured into CLS and reinvented myself, I vowed to show up authentically, even if it didn't guarantee success. If I failed, at least it would be an honest failure. Interestingly, as I embraced my authentic self more and more, the world responded positively. However, some initially cheered me on but lost interest when things gained momentum. I don't dwell on it much, but I believe some people's reactions come from a place of seeing someone else pursue their dreams while they remain stagnant.
[39:45] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That I would showcase that reinvention is ready when you are.
Key Quotes
[27:50-27:54] Pain is what shapes you and moves you to the next level
[37:43-37:46] When someone excels at something, they are showcasing what is possible.
How to connect with Craig Siegel
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/craigsiegel
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Craig-Siegel
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/craig-landon-siegel
Tue, 15 Aug 2023 - 43min - 381 - How to Become a Superhero with Laban Ditchburn
In today’s episode, our guest is Laban Ditchburn. He is a remarkable individual who triumphed over challenging circumstances and has been sober for seven years. Laban is also the author of the book "Bet on You," and he shares the fascinating story behind its title. As the world's best courage coach, Laban's expertise in courage will be explored in this episode. He shares a unique encounter from the recording of this episode that has the power to change your life. Tune in for an insightful and inspiring conversation.
[4:23] Why should I listen to you?
What a captivating question! It reminded me of my interactions with various individuals, some of whom weren't quite humorous. Interestingly, I've encountered similar instances before. In response, I'd like to borrow a sentiment from Mel Robbins, whom you interviewed on your show a while back. She mentioned something along the lines of considering whether you feel energetically aligned to engage in conversation. If you do, feel free to talk to me, but if not, there's no pressure to do so. I think it's crucial to trust your instincts and tune into the energy we exude, which can vary based on our feelings at the moment. So, if you feel compelled to listen, do so, and if not, it's completely fine too.
[5:30] What do you believe people would gain from listening to you?
I'll share an example that occurred this morning. Anna gently suggested we take a walk near Las Vegas University, where we found some grassy fields. As I walked barefoot on the grass, I came across a young, fit African American man with cool dreads named Diego. I struck up a conversation with him, and it turns out he plays football at Las Vegas University and dreams of going all the way in his football career. Interestingly, Diego had just come from a night at the club, and I, being a former professional footballer, understood the importance of getting rid of toxins and alcohol in the body to perform at my best. I asked him if the behavior of going out all night was aligned with becoming the best in the world at football. He took a moment to reflect and realized it wasn't the right path. We spoke for about an hour, discussing the concept of reclaiming power through adversity, a theme often explored on your podcast with various guests. I shared my journey of overcoming addiction and reclaiming control of my life, which resonated deeply with Diego. He even provided a 92-second video testimonial expressing how our conversation transformed his life. This kind of experience is incredibly fulfilling for me and happens frequently in my work, and it showcases the power of honest human connection and mentorship.
[10:10] How did your journey bring you to this point of feeling compelled to share your insights and ideas with others?
In 2015, at the age of 35, I hit rock bottom and realized that my life was heading in a direction far from what I had imagined. That night, I found myself intoxicated, gambling on a laptop without any care for the consequences. In a moment of clarity, I saw a helpline number on the screen and decided to call. A woman named Mary, my guardian angel, answered the call and listened to me without judgment. She shared with me the alarming suicide rates among problem gamblers, which shook me to the core. Through Mary's help, I connected with a gambling psychologist who guided me through a year and a half of healing. I began to confront the dysfunctional relationship I had with my mother and took responsibility for my actions and choices. This newfound power fueled my journey toward transformation. I quit gambling in 2015 and gave up alcohol in 2016. I adopted a primarily animal-based diet, which helped me put an incurable autoimmune disease into remission. My body transformed, and I started running ultra marathons, which was unimaginable before. In September 2018, I serendipitously met Anna, my now-wife, and soulmate. Meeting her gave me a renewed sense of purpose and the motivation to use my personal experiences and stories to connect with others. Storytelling became my powerful tool to connect with people, whether as a professional speaker or in my interactions with others like Diego this morning.
[16:20] How did your life's journey lead you to the point where you are now?
I am affectionately known as the world's best courage coach. Sometimes, I have to repeat the word "courage" a few times in America because people mishear it as "carriage." The title of the world's best courage coach came from a transformative experience I had in 2021. I was introduced to a community of peak performance coaches, including Steve Hardison, known as the ultimate coach. Steve is a highly regarded coach who has worked with influential figures like Byron Katie and Tony Robbins' ex-wife, Becky Robbins. He had remained elusive for years and declined invitations for interviews or public appearances. Intrigued by a video about him and his teachings on the power of "being," I decided to reach out to him.
Against the odds, I managed to contact Steve, and he enthusiastically welcomed the conversation. He didn't seek anything from me, but I introduced myself as a speaker and a coach, running a podcast series called "Become Your Own Superhero." Although someone once criticized my ambition, Steve vehemently defended me, assuring me it was essential to declare myself confidently. On that day in 2021, I proclaimed myself the world's best courage coach, not out of ego but as a powerful declaration. This statement guides me each day, reminding me to embody the qualities of courage and authenticity.
[22:00] When people hear the message of courage and the idea of giving it their all, where do you want them to apply this concept in their lives, especially when encountering a 'courage coach' or witnessing someone else's display of courage?
You asked an incredibly insightful question, especially considering the two aspects of my declaration. As an entrepreneur with multiple revenue streams and job titles, it can be confusing for people outside this space to understand what we do. So, I crafted this declaration for two primary reasons. Firstly, it serves as a personal mantra, a declaration of my purpose, and allows me to lean into it with confidence, despite initial imposter syndrome. Secondly, it provides clarity to people when they meet me for the first time, as they haven't heard such a unique combination of words before. When I introduce myself as the world's best courage coach, it sparks curiosity, and 99 times out of 100, the next question is, "What does that look like?" This presents a wonderful opportunity for me to explain my role in helping others. I teach people how to take bold, massive, and courageous action to achieve their own miraculous outcomes. My work encompasses speaking engagements, coaching sessions, writing books, hosting a podcast, and running a mastermind. When they ask further questions, I can operate from a place of adding value to their lives, leading to transformative interactions. This has happened numerous times over the past three years, approximately 250 to 300 times, or even more, and it remains an incredibly fulfilling aspect of my work.
[31:25] Can we dive into your book?
My journey to writing "Bet On You" started during Melbourne's harsh lockdowns. I wanted to be a speaker, so I began my podcast, "Become Your Own Superhero." I cold-called Les Brown, who encouraged me to write a book for credibility. He saw potential in me and gave me a blueprint for the book. I promise, the book was for me, for the person I was five years before hitting rock bottom. And with Les's endorsement, along with others like Mark Victor Hansen and Dr. John Gray, my confidence soared. Now, "Bet On You" is not just a book; it's a divine download from the universe. It has impacted lives, inspiring others to find their purpose and transform their own journeys. It's amazing how my life took a complete turn, from uncertainty to becoming an author and sought-after speaker. I've embraced my divine gift of storytelling, reclaiming my past, and empowering others to bet on themselves. Through speaking, coaching, my podcast, and "Bet On You," I'm on a mission to help people take bold, massive, and courageous action to facilitate their own miraculous outcomes. My journey is proof that anyone can make a significant difference in the world once they lean into their purpose and unleash their full potential.
[38:43] What were some of the challenges you faced while writing the book and revealing personal experiences? How did you navigate through the process and stay motivated to complete it?
Writing "Bet On You" was a deeply cathartic experience, unearthing buried memories. One chapter shares a wild night at a strip club, where I hit rock bottom. But amidst the challenges, I recalled a touching moment on my sixth birthday. A retiring substitute teacher gave me an envelope with $30, a significant gesture for my impoverished family. This act of generosity transformed my attitude and shaped the person I've become. Years later, I found the teacher, now a priest, and thanked her for her profound impact. It's not about me; it's about serving others at the highest level. These moments fuel my purpose-driven journey of spreading courage and creating transformative conversations.
[50:08] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
A bright light into this earth to be a beacon of hope, inspiration, and courage for generations to come.
Key Quotes
[28:34-28:38] We are spiritual beings that inhabit the body many times.
[29:30-29:33] People realize they can add value to the people they admire and look up to.
How to connect with Laban Ditchburn
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/labanditchburn
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/labanditchburn
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/labanditchburn
Tue, 08 Aug 2023 - 52min - 380 - How to Unlock The Beauty of Belonging with Ritu Bhasin
Welcome to the 'Aww Shift' podcast, where we dive deep into the art of transformation and growth with your host, Anthony Trucks! Today, we have an extraordinary guest, Ritu Bhasin, an award-winning empowerment coach, speaker, and author who will help you turn your hard life into a beautiful one by showing you how to know, embrace, and be who you are. In this captivating episode, Anthony and Ritu shared amazing insights about self-perception, identity, and how to show up for humanity. Get ready to shift your perspective and unleash your potential in this power-packed conversation!
[4:28] Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because when you speak, I won't just be listening to what you're saying; you will feel safe and loved in my presence. When I interact with you, it's as if I'm taking you in with all my senses, reading your energy because I'm deeply curious about what makes someone's heartbeat. I believe my superpower is being a high empath, sensing and absorbing people's energy. When people talk to me, they often feel seen, which matters a lot to me because I didn't always feel seen myself. I want others to feel the same. Not only will you experience a good, fun, and energetic vibe with me, but you will also feel good on a deeper level because your energy will resonate with mine.
[6:35] At what point in time did you start noticing Gnosis as a genuine part of yourself and utilizing it as an asset to have deeper conversations and improve your connections and network?
I didn't realize I had this ability until my 20s, when I found myself having conversations with people, quickly cutting through the superficial to understand their true drivers, inspirations, and essence. However, I assumed everyone could do this, a skill I took for granted. It wasn't until my 30s that I started to realize my unique talent for connecting with others. I began exploring body-based work, mindfulness meditation, and healing practices, which enhanced my ability to feel and read people's energy in ways others didn't. Transitioning from a lawyer to an HR leader, I worked with hundreds of people one-on-one, realizing my EQ and empathic nature. By the age of 40, I embraced this gift, owning and leveraging it openly. I don't strategically set out to read energy; it naturally happens. This blessing allows me to form deep connections with others, who often confide in me and express emotions they haven't shared with anyone in years. Embracing this gift has been transformative, as I now confidently claim and utilize it to nurture meaningful connections with people.
[17:00] How did you manage your anger?
When our bodies feel more stable and less threatened, we can regulate our emotions and avoid falling into a state of rage or fury. While anger is a natural and important emotion, as humans, we experience the full spectrum of emotions. For instance, when someone cuts me off on the road, I may get annoyed or frustrated, but I rarely experience intense rage. I try not to dwell on negativity and instead focus on managing my emotions more healthily.
[24:50] Where did you first learn the act of being intentional?
So, the first time I applied this methodology was when I started my business. Back then, I felt uncomfortable talking about myself and articulating my ideas during business meetings. Taking a step back and adopting a thoughtful and structured approach to these discussions was immensely helpful. Over time, I have become deliberate and mindful in all my interactions. It's especially important to do this when we're not in a flow and are moving from meeting to meeting, feeling stressed and anxious. In those moments, it's essential to take a pause and consider the energy we want to emit into the universe or convey to the people we are engaging with.
I was inspired by Jill Bronte Taylor's story, where she developed a heightened sensitivity to energy after a severe injury. She learned the importance of being responsible for the energy we bring into a room. This notion resonates deeply with me, and I constantly think about how I want to positively impact others with my energy, whether it's an Uber driver, a little kitten, or the people tuning in to our conversations today. Being responsible for the energy we project is a significant aspect of how I approach my interactions.
[29:27] How did the book "We've Got This: Unlocking the Beauty of Belonging" come into existence?
Many years ago, I wrote my first book, "The Authenticity Principle," which focuses on how to embrace one's true self amidst societal pressure to conform and hide identities. My childhood experiences as the child of Indian immigrants in Canada, witnessing my parents' struggles with racism, and enduring relentless bullying and racism, deeply affected me. By my 20s, I had curated various personas to fit different environments, losing touch with my authentic self. In my early 30s, I decided to live authentically and left the legal profession to start my own business. However, it wasn't just about authenticity; I realized I needed to heal from the trauma caused by those negative experiences related to my identity. This healing journey led me to write my latest book, "We've Got This: Unlocking the Beauty of Belonging." The book not only shares what I've learned about embracing our true selves and finding belonging but also serves as a healing process for me. Through extensive research and reflection, putting my insights into one book has allowed me to better claim to belong, stand in my power, and embrace who I truly am—a beautiful and transformative journey.
[33:34] Who is the best person to pick up your book and read it?
First of all, I define belonging as the profound feeling we hold inside ourselves, of being honored and accepted for who we truly are. To truly belong, we must first belong to ourselves. It means embracing and accepting our authentic selves before seeking to belong with others. Considering what we know about human beings, belonging is an innate human need; it's an instinctive desire to be seen, respected, and valued by others. My book is for anyone out there who has ever struggled to be honored and accepted for their true selves, especially those who have faced challenges with their own identity due to negative messaging that tells them they are not good enough or they should be different in some way. Whether it's being too loud or not loud enough, facing prejudices based on cultural backgrounds, or any other hurtful remarks that have made them feel untethered and distant from their true selves. This book is for those who have experienced hate and hurtfulness due to their identities, and it aims to address the injustice and unfairness that hinders our ability to belong. In particular, "We've Got This" is for you, offering guidance and support to help you reclaim your sense of belonging and embrace your authentic self.
[37:00] Have you experienced the fear of belonging?
Just last year, as I was writing my book on belonging and researching the topic deeply, I had a fascinating experience with a group of friends whom I deeply loved and cared for. However, some darkness unfolded within that friend circle, and I ended up no longer being part of it. This experience was eye-opening for me because, even as a grown woman in my late 40s, I realized that my deep wounds of unworthiness and feeling unlovable still affected my sense of belonging and impacted my relationships. Writing a book on belonging did not mean that my journey toward it was over; it's a lifelong process that involves continuous healing and growth. As a professional speaker working with senior leadership audiences around the world, I often find myself in boardrooms where I am the only one who looks like me, coming from an immigrant family with a working-class background and belonging to a minority religion. In these situations, I feel my nervous system activate, triggered by childhood experiences of not feeling like I belong. But I have learned to regulate myself, using breathwork, self-coaching, and mindfulness techniques to settle in these moments. Although I'm still healing, I now use my skills to confidently stand in my power and speak my truth.
[45:07] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
He put me here to talk about how beautiful the journey of claiming our belonging is.
Key Quotes
[21:04-21:08] One of the most important things is being mindful of what is happening around you.
[23:25-23:28] How we choose to be in situations reshapes how we engage with people.
How to connect with Ritu Bhasin
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ritu_bhasin
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/riturbhasin
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/ritu_bhasin
Tue, 01 Aug 2023 - 47min - 379 - How to Build a Body and a Business with Toni Marinucci
"Welcome to the 'Aww Shift' podcast, where we dive deep into the art of transformation and growth with your host, Anthony Trucks! Today, we have an extraordinary guest, Toni Marinucci, a Registered Dietitian and seasoned lifestyle blogger with a profound commitment to enhancing lives through health and happiness.
In this captivating episode, Anthony and Toni explore the secrets of building both a remarkable body and a thriving business. Drawing on her expertise as a Master's Degree holder in Nutrition, Toni shares invaluable insights on achieving a harmonious balance between personal health and professional success.
Get ready to shift your perspective and unleash your potential in this power-packed conversation!"
[2:50] Why should I listen to you?
I consider myself more of a listener. My strength lies in connecting with people, regardless of their age, gender, or how they identify themselves. I take pride in seeing individuals for who they are at their core, and I'm dedicated to helping them believe in themselves. If you seek someone to talk to who will hear you, validate your feelings, and understand your perspective, I'm here to elevate you to the next level. I can provide a fresh perspective, clear away any foggy thoughts, and offer clarity and peace of mind.
[6:20] Do you mind sharing some of your experiences?
I used to feel ashamed of loving so many things, questioning whether it meant I couldn't commit to one specific path. But it's not about being afraid of going all-in; it's about the genuine passion I have for each of my interests. For a decade, I've honed my craft as a registered dietitian, empowering and guiding women to make peace with food and embrace a healthy lifestyle. Mastering my own relationship with food led to a shift in priorities. It's not about appearance or weight loss; it's about feeling good and taking care of myself. My world opened up, and I still love coaching and real estate. I'm now helping other dietitians grow their online practices too. I believe in teaching, inspiring, and serving. We don't need to be confined to one identity, and it's okay to explore other passions. However, it's essential to avoid just dabbling; I am fully committed to all my endeavors, even if it gets exhausting.
[13:20] What are the things you are currently putting your energy into?
I've realized that while I have many aspirations and interests, I need to ensure that my nutrition business is well-established and that our clients feel fully supported. That's been my main focus, making sure everyone in our program is thriving and satisfied. On a deeper level, I've been exploring personal development through podcasts and motivational speakers like Trent Shelton, whom I admire greatly. I aspire to speak on big stages and expand my horizons. I've been contemplating what that would look like and how I could turn it into my primary source of income to enable me to pursue other ventures. To achieve this, I've been tapping into the personal development space more deeply, aiming to become the best version of myself.
[16:30] What led you to the path of being a dietitian in the first place?
Growing up, I faced weight-related teasing that tied my self-worth to appearance. The 1990s media exacerbated this issue with fat-shaming and praise for extreme weight loss. My grandmother's comments further deepened this belief. Throughout my teenage years, I struggled with disordered eating patterns, restrictions, overexercising, and bingeing. However, I learned that restriction wasn't the answer and shifted my focus to how food made me feel, leading to balanced eating habits. This revelation sparked numerous shifts and breakthrough moments. My passion for nutrition led me to become a dietitian, but I unknowingly developed orthorexia, driven by societal praise for healthier habits in a bigger body. Realizing the need to heal myself to help others, I pursued a master's in nutrition. Tips with Tony, my blog turned business, began during college, demonstrating that success comes with perseverance and hard work.
[24:25] How can you make people who feel less about themselves listen to you, and what aspects should they concentrate on to move past that situation?
The first thing I want to mention is the importance of understanding what you just shared. Often, people find it easier to avoid discomfort, which motivates them to make changes. When we feel out of control around food or dislike our bodies, it drives us to do something about it. There's a fear that accepting our current state will cause us to lose motivation, as we're used to relying on external factors to get going. In reality, motivation needs to come from within. It's not just about feeling motivated, it's about making choices every day. We should focus on how we feel and learn that we don't need negative feelings to drive us. There will be times when we don't feel like doing something, but we have to take small steps forward. On the topic of body image and nutrition, it's a more profound conversation. For now, let's explore the philosophy behind it, which is incredibly beneficial. We could have another podcast focusing on developing habits rather than rigid meal plans.
[29:11] What is the importance of having the right people around you during this journey?
Everything revolves around your environment. I'm not saying people can't change without support, but it's really tough. Some of the women I work with have family members who contribute to their issues, yet they're still living with them or depending on them for various reasons. Having a strong support system is crucial, both physically and emotionally. If you can, limit your exposure to people who constantly talk about diets, criticize, or praise your body. Oh, and by the way, praising someone's weight loss without knowing their situation can be harmful too. You never know what someone's going through. So, it's better to avoid commenting on people's bodies altogether. Setting boundaries with others is important. You can kindly ask them not to talk about your body or change the topic when they bring it up.
[36:00] How long does it usually take for someone to start?
When we work with women, it's a minimum six-month commitment. Some clients undergo a significant transformation within this timeframe, with a new mindset and positive habits. For others, it may take longer, depending on their history with self-criticism, and dieting. However, six months to a year is remarkably fast compared to a lifetime of struggles. Going through this journey alone might extend the process. Healing varies from person to person, and even after transformation, intrusive thoughts can still occur. The key is to respond to them differently, understanding their source and navigating through triggers. Working with the right professionals and support can lead to lasting changes and embracing a new identity that prioritizes mental and physical health. It requires commitment and guidance, but it's a journey worth embarking on.
[42:40] Why is it important for you to teach other dieticians how to do what you do?
There are two reasons for my mission. Firstly, by helping others improve their lives and relationships with themselves and others, they spread my mission of wellness and support. Second, the business coaching industry is filled with scams and untrustworthy practices. Many coaches charge exorbitant fees for little value, leading me to take a proactive stance. I decided to offer valuable resources and guidance without breaking the bank. My vision is to make coaching accessible to those just starting out in their entrepreneurial journey.
[49:49] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
To share my voice and be his vessel.
Key Quotes
[23:00-23:03] You don’t have to wait, you can be happy now
[32:20-32:24] Try to compliment the effort, not the look
How to connect with Toni Marinucci
Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/toniann.marinucci
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tipswithtoni
Website: https://tipswithtoni.com
Tue, 25 Jul 2023 - 51min - 378 - How to Find Success Without a Recipe with Mignon Francious
In today’s episode, our guest is Mignon Francious. She is the Founder and CEO of The Cupcake Collection (TCC). Mignon developed an iconic flavor that drew lines and attention to the hip nature of her Historic Germantown neighborhood, which hadn’t seen this concept developed prior.
[2:45] Why should I listen to you?
I struggle with self-promotion, but let me share it with you. I recently authored a book titled "Made from Scratch: Finding Success Without a Recipe." I genuinely believe that everyone has a unique story to tell, and it's important to embrace and share it. In my own story, I experienced a remarkable journey guided by divine intervention. God would awaken me every morning at 3:17, providing instructions and insights that eventually led me to establish the Cupcake Collection
[5:25] Can you explain the process of turning your amazing cupcakes into a business?
In my neighborhood, amidst a time when I had no electricity and only $5 to my name, a remarkable opportunity presented itself. A neighbor knocked on my door, offering a significant cupcake order for her clients. It was a moment of perplexity and uncertainty. However, I had a heartfelt conversation with God, questioning why such an opportunity arose amid my financial struggles. In response, I was reminded of how birds don't worry about their provisions, as they are always taken care of. Encouraged by this, I decided to take a leap of faith. With that meager $5, I ventured to the store, purchasing the necessary supplies to fulfill the order. To my delight, she paid me as promised. That humble $5 transformed into $16 within a day and soared to $600 by the end of the week. This catalyzed my journey toward success and recognition as the best bakery in Tennessee and Louisiana. Through our hard work and determination, we have overcome financial challenges, become debt-free, and even gained ownership of the property we were once on the verge of losing. Our bakery not only provides delicious treats but also supports students' graduations and helps them pursue their dreams.
[8:55] Have you ever experienced doubts or skepticism about the sustainability of your success?
In my heart, there was always a belief that I was destined for fame, though I wasn't sure in what capacity. At that time, I wasn't actively seeking something significant to happen in my life. My main focus was on finding ways to bring in additional income, to make ends meet. Being married, I wanted to support my husband, even though I could sense that our relationship was deteriorating. He appeared vibrant and full of life on the surface, but little did I know that he was slowly fading away emotionally, leading to the eventual revelation that he wanted a divorce after 21 years together. In the midst of praying for guidance, God provided me with an opportunity that would not only help my husband but also empower me. It was a time of financial constraint, with no extra money for field trips or even basic necessities. However, an idea began to take shape, urging me to step out of my comfort zone and reach a larger audience.
[10:30] How did it feel to expand your presence and compete with other businesses in your industry?
I believe that many people tend to underestimate the journey and lessons behind someone's success. In my own experience, I have established myself as a respected business leader in my community, known for my grassroots efforts and spirit-driven approach. However, amidst the challenges I faced, I was simply following my instincts and doing what I knew best. Interestingly, my college education was focused on pursuing a career in medicine, but it was only 17 years later, in my kitchen, that I began to understand the valuable lessons I had been taught. Making those first mixes awakened a passion within me, and I continued along my path, often unaware that I was building something remarkable. It was the support and encouragement from others, sitting in the bakery with me, praising my creations, and urging me to share them with more people, that propelled me forward. As we started winning awards and experiencing high demand, it became clear that we needed to be where the people were. And then, when I turned 40, I received a significant accolade as part of the "40 under 40" recognition by the Nashville Business Journal.
[16:30] Did you ever find yourself comparing your progress to others and feeling inadequate?
I understand what you're saying. It's common for many people, including myself, to have a tendency to compare themselves to others and sometimes downplay their skills or achievements while being overly critical of themselves. I've personally struggled with self-esteem and confidence issues, constantly beating myself up inside as I watched others accomplish the things I yearned for. However, I discovered that my lack of self-esteem was rooted in a distorted perception of myself. It wasn't until I saw a picture of myself without any filters or Instagram enhancements that I couldn't deny the beauty that was captured in that image. It was a turning point for me. I realized that I could walk into a room with confidence, share my ideas, and trust in my own abilities without fearing judgment or rejection. It wasn't about tearing others down; it was always about tearing myself down.
[22:55] How did you develop a strong sense of self and confidence in your abilities?
I wrote this book because of the support and encouragement from my clients and customers. They believed in me and inspired me to fulfill my promise to God. It's for those who are awake at night, seeking connection and inspiration. Women from different countries have reached out, sharing similar stories. Writing this book was a vulnerable and challenging process, but it taught me important lessons. Every chapter and detail can resonate with others, whether they're single women, single mothers, or aspiring entrepreneurs over 30. Starting a business at that age can lead to greater success. Those two years of writing were not wasted; they allowed me to meet people who needed my story. I want readers to find themselves in these pages and embrace their dreams. It's a tangible piece of my journey that can be intimately shared.
[28:50] Can you share which aspects of your personal story were particularly difficult for you to write about?
The most challenging part of my writing journey was sharing something I had never spoken about publicly before. It was the day my life was shattered, and my children witnessed the painful events unfold. As I completed writing the story, I eagerly showed it to my youngest daughter, telling her it was good. However, she responded with a thought-provoking question, expressing that she couldn't call such a day "good" despite acknowledging its well-written nature. This interaction made me realize the power of perspective and the importance of choosing our words carefully. It was a struggle for me to decide whether to share this deeply personal experience, but I knew there are others out there feeling trapped and isolated. I wanted them to know they are not alone, and that success and triumph are still within their reach.
[33:40] Were there any specific obstacles or difficulties that arose as your business achieved greater success?
I firmly believe that every business exists to solve a problem. In my case, the problem I set out to solve was freeing my family from debt and providing for their basic needs. As my business grew, the nature of my problems changed, but they certainly didn't disappear. People often assume that because you're successful, you're rich and should provide financial support or cover their expenses. However, the truth is that my problems may be of a different magnitude, but they are still challenges to navigate. Throughout my divorce and other difficult situations, I faced circumstances that seemed unfair, yet I discovered that God, in His wisdom and grace, guided me through them.
[42:53] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That I will take your tears and bond them up and in exchange for your tears, I will give you joy.
Key Quotes
[30:15-30:17] Everything happening to you is actually happening for you.
[33:55-33:58] Once you solve a problem, you are presented with new ones.
How to connect with Mignon Francious
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mignon.francois
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iammignonfrancois
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mignonfrancois
Tue, 18 Jul 2023 - 47min - 377 - How to Create Your Happiness with Kristiana Mand Lakhiani
In today's episode, our guest is Kristiana Mand Lakhiani. She is the Co-founder of Mindvalley and has been in the personal transformation industry for over 18 years. She is an international
speaker, entrepreneur, artist, philanthropist, and everyday life philosopher. Kristina is also the author of transformational quests "7 Days To Happiness" and "Live By Your Own Rules". She also speaks about personal transformation, authenticity, understanding and accepting oneself, and a path to happiness.
[5:00] Why should I listen to you?
I'm not afraid to express my opinions and I enjoy engaging in intellectually stimulating conversations, especially with someone as interesting and insightful as yourself. It's always enjoyable to converse with others, particularly when I'm in public and can ask them questions about their experiences and interests. I'm naturally curious and find it fulfilling to connect with people on a personal level. Talking to you has been an absolute pleasure. Additionally, I've discovered that the ability to discuss love and other complex ideas in a compelling manner can be entertaining and thought-provoking. It's not simply a matter of saying "I love you," but rather exploring the meaning and power behind that sentiment.
[7:25] Would you mind elaborating on that conversation a bit more?
I'm glad you brought up that particular chapter because it's my favorite one, and Ashley's favorite as well, as I've been engaged in personal growth for over 20 years. The chapter addresses the concept of spiritual bypassing, which was coined by John Rawls. Essentially, we sometimes become so enamored with certain spiritual theories and concepts that we use them to avoid dealing with our own personal problems. In the conversation you mentioned, where I was being bombarded with expressions of love, many of us have experienced this situation before. Rather than facing conflict or disagreement head-on, the person in question tries to escape by simply professing their love for us. Although it's difficult to pinpoint a single term for this behavior, it often falls under the umbrella of passive-aggressive behavior. By avoiding conflict, we might seem pleasing on the surface, but deep down, the unpleasant feeling will eventually manifest itself. There are several risks associated with this type of behavior, with the most painful being the doubt that it can create within oneself. When we disagree with someone and they respond with "Why don't you calm down? It's you who's nervous," we might start questioning our own sanity.
[16:58] Would you mind sharing some of the things that you found difficult at the beginning and had to overcome to gain strength?
If we are specifically talking about my child's diagnosis, it's not so much that he's a difficult child, in the sense that most people wouldn't know that his brain functions differently. So the learning point for me was that seeking professional help is necessary when facing challenges in life. We don't have to figure everything out on our own. It's interesting how we are not taught to deal with life's challenges using professional help. We are expected to figure everything out ourselves, which is especially true when schools only provide academic education that doesn't necessarily translate to real-life situations.
In terms of my growth as a parent, the first lesson was about patience and understanding that love alone is not always enough in relationships or anything else. I also learned the meaning of unconditional love, which I believe we get closest to with our children. Later on, I realized that it's okay to prioritize my own happiness and that it's not selfish to do so. One of the biggest lessons I learned from my children is that everyone has the right to their own journey, including the right to make mistakes. This can be challenging for parents because we want to protect our children from pain and difficult experiences. There were times when I had to make a conscious choice to allow my child to face the consequences of life not always going their way, even though I could have intervened and saved the day.
[19:45] Is there a dynamic way that the children are given lessons that they need to learn?
Parents often assume different roles when it comes to their children, with mothers typically taking on the role of the caretaker and problem-solver, while fathers may be more inclined to encourage their children to figure things out on their own, particularly when it comes to boys. However, I hesitate to make judgments about Vicious Journey's parenting style, as I am not privy to his personal journey and transformation with his children. For me, the experience of raising my own children has taught me important lessons about love, including the willingness to accept and support my children even when I disagree with their choices. This means recognizing that challenges, difficulties, and hardships are an inevitable part of life, and teaching my children the skills they need to navigate them, such as problem-solving and executive functioning. When I first began teaching about happiness, I often emphasized the importance of acknowledging and accepting the inevitability of pain and struggle in life. Many people misunderstand happiness, believing that it is possible to live in a world without discomfort or adversity. However, this is simply not realistic. By embracing the challenges of life and teaching our children to do the same, we can help them develop resilience and prepare them for the ups and downs that are an inevitable part of the human experience.
[30:05] Do you mind unpacking the aspect of putting oneself first?
As previously mentioned, I was born and raised in the Soviet Union, a society known for its idealism and emphasis on community building. In this societal framework, individuals were deemed less necessary and this was deeply ingrained in my worldview until my teenage years. Moreover, my favorite literary period was the end of the 19th century which further reinforced my belief that a person's most important goal in life was to be of use to the rest of the world. However, in my late 20s to early 30s, I experienced some trauma from constantly prioritizing others over myself. It was during this time that I stumbled upon a poster with an unusual message. The poster encouraged individuals to prioritize their happiness, a foreign concept that left me puzzled and questioning its validity. Years later, I found myself working with refugees in Malaysia, mainly from Myanmar, while simultaneously building Mindvalley, a company focused on teaching individuals to live happy, fulfilled, and extraordinary lives. This contradiction between the human tragedy I witnessed and the message of happiness we were promoting at Mindvalley created cognitive dissonance within me. At an event where the Dalai Lama was speaking, I finally posed my question to him, struggling to reconcile the two seemingly opposite worlds I was experiencing. His response, "You can't help anyone if you're not happy," hit me like a sledgehammer. Here was a person who had dedicated his life to making the world a better place, yet he understood the importance of personal happiness and well-being. I realized that personal well-being and happiness are incompatible with the desire to be useful to the world or be a good parent, entrepreneur, or athlete is a fallacy. In fact, prioritizing one's own well-being and happiness is a necessary step toward being able to help others and solve problems more effectively. Although the topics of happiness and self-love may not be seen as sexy or pragmatic in some circles, I have found that discussing these topics with pragmatic individuals, including entrepreneurs, can be enlightening. It is often assumed that personal well-being and happiness must be sacrificed for more "serious" problems, such as economic crises or raising children. However, this assumption is misguided, as prioritizing personal well-being and happiness can actually make it easier to tackle these so-called serious problems.
[39:45] Can you tell us what your book is about?
After my previous rant about the importance of taking care of oneself, I noticed that the book in question is about self-love and is called Becoming Foursome. The book focuses on finding one's way back to oneself, which can often be a challenge for individuals who have been busy pursuing success and following societal ideals. Personally, I found myself in this situation around the age of 30–40, where I felt like my body was going through the motions but I wasn't truly present in my own life. It was a strange feeling, but it prompted me to start asking questions and seeking ways to improve my well-being. Eventually, I realized that I needed to reconnect with myself, and the journey back to myself began. The book is quite research-heavy and a nerdy/geeky read, which I personally appreciate. I like to have facts and scientific support before making statements or claims. The Journey Back to You is a transformative journey, and I don't want to spoil it for anyone by giving away too many details. It's like picking up Lord of the Rings and knowing how it ends—it takes away from experience.
[43:40] Do you know that 85% of adults have self-esteem?
Self-esteem is not synonymous with self-love, although it is often a byproduct of it or the lack of it. This is a common issue, as there are many misunderstandings and distortions around what healthy self-love actually entails. For example, some people think that egocentrism or self-love is excessive, but that is not the case. Similarly, complacency is often seen as a sign of too much self-love, but it is actually a distortion. We may also mistakenly believe that our idealized self-image is an indicator of self-love, when in fact these misconceptions are markers of its absence or lack. It's challenging to talk about self-love when we don't fully comprehend it. Therefore, it's crucial to understand that self-love matters, especially during times when we're not at our best. It's comparable to the love we have for children. It's easy to love them when they behave well, but it's much more challenging when they make mistakes or don't follow our advice. In those situations, it's necessary to accept that they have their own journey and to continue loving them unconditionally. Similarly, it's crucial to learn how to love ourselves even when we make mistakes or don't meet our own expectations. This may be difficult, but it's a crucial aspect of cultivating a healthy sense of self-love.
[49:34] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That it's going to be cool, and you should have fun.
Key Quotes
[11:15-11:20] The words don't convey the actual meaning of your feelings; it's everything about you that does.
[25:20-25:25] We often profess the truth without knowing that what is true to us might not be true to someone else.
How to connect with Kristina Mand Lakhiani
Instagram: https://instagram.com/kristinamand?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristinamand?mibextid=LQQJ4d
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristina-mand-lakhiani-73168414
Tue, 11 Jul 2023 - 51min - 376 - How To Go Be Brave with Leon Logothetis
In this episode, our guest is Leon Logothetis. He is a global adventurer, TV host, motivational speaker, and best-selling author. For over a decade, he's traveled the globe to over 100 countries to highlight the good in humanity. Documented through his best-selling books and TV Shows, Leon works constantly to inspire the world with his message of Kindness and Hope. This is best shown through his series "The Kindness Diaries," now streaming on Discovery Plus.
[2:30] Why should I listen to you?
I was a broker in London, seemingly successful but deeply unhappy. Inspired by a movie about Che Guevara, I quit my job and embarked on a worldwide journey, relying on the kindness of strangers. From hitchhiking across famous landmarks to driving a yellow motorcycle around the world, I embraced the unpredictability of life. Along the way, I discovered the power of kindness and gave unsuspecting Good Samaritans life-changing gifts. My adventures were documented on Netflix, and later I wrote a book about bravery.
[6:00] What was the life-changing gift that was getting delivered to people?
Each person's experience is unique. For instance, while in Pittsburgh, I approached a man and asked if I could stay at his house for the night. He sadly informed me that he was homeless. Feeling embarrassed, I was about to leave when he unexpectedly offered me shelter, food, protection, and even clothes. I accepted his kindness and stayed on the streets with him. This encounter with Tony transformed my life, teaching me that kindness is invaluable and our true selves reside in our hearts, not our wallets. Inspired by this experience, my crew and I provided Tony with an apartment and supported his dream of becoming a chef. These individualized acts of kindness shape the meaningful impact of our production.
[7:10] How can someone else have their own epiphany?
The epiphany that ignited my journey began many years ago. I endured relentless bullying without ever revealing my truth to anyone. However, there was one teacher who consistently looked into my eyes and told me she believed in me. Her kindness left an indelible mark on my heart. Witnessing her acknowledge my pain inspired me to empathize with others and heal myself simultaneously. As a naturally adventurous individual, the movie I watched combined adventure, goodness, and kindness in a way that resonated deeply with me. It triggered a realization that I didn't have to confine myself to my current circumstances. Instead, I could venture out, forge connections with humanity, and let my own humanity radiate while embracing the radiance of others. It was a profound and beautiful awakening.
[9:30] Where do people who haven’t met humans with kindness find that experience?
That's a profound question. In Alice Miller's book, "The Drama of the Gifted Child," she emphasizes the importance of having a witness in our lives. A witness who can acknowledge our pain, our joy, and our true selves. Having such a witness gives us a chance to navigate life more successfully. However, for those who don't have that witness or kindness in their lives, I would suggest actively seeking it out. Look for someone you trust—someone who genuinely comes from the heart. For example, if you struggle with alcoholism, attend Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings where you can find understanding individuals. If possible, seek therapy and connect with a therapist who truly sees and witnesses you. Even if financial constraints arise, some universities offer free therapy sessions with trainee therapists. The key lies in taking the initiative as adults to find those who can witness us and truly see us for who we are.
[12:16] What was the catalyst for writing your book?
For me, bravery encompasses speaking our truth, sharing our pain, and ultimately standing in our power. While acts like going to war or saving someone from a burning building can be grave and courageous, the true essence of bravery as a human being lies in vulnerability. I had a transformative experience of this when I was 15 years old and enduring severe bullying. Although no one was aware of my suffering, I reached a breaking point where I had to express my truth and be vulnerable. I approached my mother, had a heartfelt conversation, and revealed the extent of the bullying, seeking her help. At that moment, two outcomes were possible: she could have ignored my plea or taken action. My act of bravery was speaking my truth, and fortunately, my mother took action by changing my school. While it didn't solve everything, it brought about a significant shift.
[15:50] In your opinion, why should we not share our truth with unsafe people?
You've raised an important point. There are individuals, whether knowingly or unknowingly, who seek to diminish others. It is crucial not to provide them with fuel to do so. When sharing our truth, whether it's an emotional truth, a career-related truth like wanting to quit a job or a relational truth like considering a breakup, it is essential to confide in safe individuals. By doing so, we protect ourselves from potential harm and ensure that our vulnerability is respected.
[17:03] How does someone get past a bad moment?
Writing everything down in a personal journal, which you call the truth Diary, can be a powerful tool. This journal serves as a safe space where you can express your thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or scrutiny. It's a private space for you to unload and process what's going on in your life. When facing challenges in relationships, for example, if you find it difficult to muster the courage to have a conversation with your partner, begin by addressing it in your Truth Diary. This act of expressing your truth in the journal can help facilitate clarity and emotional processing. Once you've written and reflected on your thoughts and feelings in the Truth Diary, you may find it easier to approach the situation in real life.
[19:55] How does somebody build up the ability to be more brave or start that process again?
You don't have to quit your job or undertake extraordinary feats like circumnavigating the world on a yellow motorcycle. It's about embracing small acts of bravery that align with who you truly are. One of the bravest things you can do is to buy that truth journal and start writing in it. It may seem like a simple action, but it holds the potential to ignite profound changes in your life. Once you begin writing in the truth diary, you'll notice shifts occurring within you and in your external circumstances. Gradually, you can take further steps. Share your thoughts and feelings with someone safe, confide in them, and let them witness your journey. You might even choose to share aspects of your truth on social media, allowing others to support and encourage you.
[27:37] How do you teach others to show up and be brave?
Maya Angelou once wisely said that people may not remember what you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel. To embark on a concrete path of bravery, it starts with speaking your truth, as I mentioned earlier. One of them is learning to say "yes." Often, it can be challenging for us to say yes and embrace new opportunities. Similarly, learning to say "no" when necessary is also an act of bravery. Another step is immersing ourselves in the outdoors. You might wonder how going out into nature could be an act of bravery. But remember Maya Angelou's words. By disconnecting from our phones, we reconnect with our humanity. We tap into the essence of who we truly are, unburdened by the distractions of Instagram, Twitter, and the chaotic news cycle.
[41:30] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That I will show my heart and soul to many people and make them realize that they are loved and important and not to ever give up.
Key Quotes
[10:23-10:26] Find someone who you feel kindness comes from their heart.
[13:40-13:43] Bravery is reconnecting with oneself.
How to connect with Leon Logothetis
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thekindnessguy
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheKindnessGuy
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leonlogothetis
Tue, 04 Jul 2023 - 43min - 375 - How to be Successfully Self-Employed with Jeffrey Shaw
Welcome to the latest episode of Aww Shift! Today we're joined by Jeffrey Shaw, the founder of self-employed life. We'll discuss some key insights that can help you thrive in self-employment. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this episode of Aww Shift!
(2:15) Discover Why You Should Tune In!
Are you craving genuine conversations? Do you seek meaningful connections and want to learn something new? If so, this podcast is for you! Join us as we embark on a journey of exploration, where we engage with remarkable individuals who are making a significant impact in the world. We kick off each conversation by asking, "What are you up to?" Prepare to be inspired and enlightened!
(5:03) Unveiling the Natural Openness
I have ever wondered if being naturally open is an inborn trait. Well, let's peel back the layers. Despite being an introvert, I've discovered my knack for initiating conversations. Surprisingly, being a professional speaker has provided a platform for me to break the ice. I find solace in intimate discussions, venturing into the depths of people's stories.
Interestingly, I've noticed a pattern among introverted speakers on stage. The discomfort they feel as introverts in the spotlight becomes a driving force. Embracing the limelight becomes an integral part of our growth.
Moreover, I've always been someone people naturally gravitate toward, especially children. Parents trust me with their kids, which opens up avenues for meaningful conversations and interactions. It's a beautiful dance of connection.
(7:22) The Power of Introverted Communicators
Absolutely! Introverts possess a unique ability to observe, absorb, and process the intricacies of humanity. As a former shy kid, my observation skills became my superpower. This led me to pursue a photography career, where I found solace in capturing the world through my lens. The angles, people, and stories I encountered fascinated me. Over four decades, my journey transitioned from photography to becoming a business coach. That same sense of observation paved the way for my coaching career. Statement truly shapes how our brains work; introverts excel in this realm. You hit the nail on the head!
(9:43) The Significance of Leadership with Wisdom
Leadership comes in various forms and stages. I gravitate toward leading from the side of the room as an observer. Throughout my life, I've played a crucial role in supporting, gently guiding, and instigating change. However, I also acknowledge the importance of front-to-the-room leadership. Both styles have their place, and understanding when to step up and lead from the forefront is critical.
(14:42) Unlocking the Path to Becoming a Billionaire
Ah, the journey to becoming a billionaire—a topic that often stirs up curiosity and sparks intriguing conversations. Difficult conversations and challenges often hold the key to growth and success, even if they create chaos and disruption. Sometimes, we avoid these discussions, fearing their consequences. However, the ability to navigate such conversations is a crucial skill. Let's delve into the realm of life experiences and uncover the wisdom hidden within.
(18:27) The Quest for Wisdom: Unraveling the Source
Philosophy and tangible evidence—what a delightful blend! This fascinating combination has always captivated me. In the realm of business and marketing, brevity is often the key. Like the wise man in the fable, the ability to convey your point succinctly holds tremendous power. I enjoy diving deep into profound thoughts, overthinking, and discovering practical applications. My photography business in my 20s taught me the importance of leverage. Connecting with souls and understanding how to translate those connections into tangible, valuable outcomes became my passion.
(22:40) Recognizing Problems and Taking a Stand
Standing up for your beliefs often begins with experiencing problems firsthand. For me, this journey started during the pandemic. Having weathered economic downturns
(30:09) Unveiling the Secrets of Self-Employment Happiness.
Have you ever wondered what truly brings happiness to self-employed individuals? I've pondered this question extensively as someone who has never held a traditional job or received a regular paycheck. While some find security in a predictable income, I've realized that the corporate world doesn't align with my lifestyle. The fear of being let go would overshadow any sense of stability. Happiness, in this context, is relative. I hold great admiration for those who courageously navigate the realm of traditional employment. Their resilience and fortitude deserve recognition.
(31:53) Embracing the Service of Self-Employment.
The core of my work revolves around the self-employed life. It's not just about building a business but crafting a strategic and fulfilling life. Throughout my journey, I've discovered the importance of translating experiences and skills to thrive in the self-employed realm. Traditional business models often revolve around transactional approaches. However, my version of marketing and business focuses on emotionally connecting with individuals and serving them wholeheartedly. I aim to move people from indecision to taking tangible action. This approach, which I call "hug marketing," fosters loyalty and nurtures lasting client relationships.
In a world that demands swift solutions, I'm here to help people reach their desired outcomes faster. As a coach, my clients are transitioning into self-employment, and I guide them through the process. Through group coaching, we explore how to translate their existing skills into successful business ventures. I aim to empower individuals to achieve their dreams in a shorter timeframe.
(41:48) Exploring the Essence of "The Self-Employed Life" Book.
My book, "The Self-Employed Life," is available on various platforms. It delves into the intricacies of a self-employed life, offering insights, strategies, and inspiration. My business institute conducts group training and hybrid coaching programs. We create a thriving community for business owners, fostering collaboration and growth.
(44:31) Connect with me at JeffreyShaw.com
To stay connected and explore further resources, I invite you to visit JeffreyShaw.com. You'll find a wealth of information, tools, and opportunities to engage with our community of like-minded individuals. Discover a world of self-employed possibilities!
(44:56) The Promise I Bring to the World
When God created me, He made a profound promise to the world: Your starting point does not define your destination. Regardless of where you begin, you have the power and potential to achieve remarkable heights in life. It's a testament to the boundless opportunities that await each of us. Embrace your journey, believe in your capabilities, and witness the incredible transformation that unfolds.
Key quotes
(21:45 -21:56) Put your plate in places where something magical can happen in the first place, which you cannot accomplish sitting at your home.
(34.10 - 34:15) Move people emotionally toward serving them the best.
(44.59: 45.03) Where you can end up has nothing to do with where you start.
How to connect with Jeffrey Shaw
Website - https://www.jeffreyshaw.com
Linkedin – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffrey-shaw-654a7985/
Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/jeffreyshaw/?hl=en
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/JeffShawPhotography/
Tue, 27 Jun 2023 - 46min - 374 - How to Have a World-Class Marketing Mind and More with Dawn Hudson
Today Aww Shift welcomes the guest Dawn Hudson who has survived and thrived in this world and had massive success. I had amazing conversations on different topics, like how we can find ways to help women see what they can do and how she had done that with her band of sisters. Today will be a thinking day. I’m excited about these people as they have walked in different areas of life many people have not experienced. They have their own Aww Shift moments in different regions but evolved to navigate their success on other people.
(3:16)Who do you see yourself to be?
I don’t know; I can even describe who I am. What I can tell you is the promising career path I had and was privileged to take. I went to a career path site in Boston, my mom went to Wesley, my father was an attorney, and I had to follow my mom to Wesley. I’m a little bit more competitive and want to change it up. I discovered a dorm in college in the woods in Hampshire. And I love to hike and sport in school.
From there, I went to advertising, which was a terrific way to learn business across many categories. It was a field that had a few women. Interesting, it is now changed quite a bit today. From there, life happened when my clients hired me. When I worked with Pepsi, it needed to reconnect with the next generation; the Pepsi drinkers were to reconnect with music and sport. We had a vast set of sports relationships within Football. We were successful and had a chance to work with Gianna Fel, who operated for 11 years.
(6:19)What do you think about what stands out as one of the most unique and unseen aspects you had to walk through?
I think I’m trying to learn football. I wish I had tried to play, but I didn’t have that opportunity. In an environment where most senior leaders are men, sitting around the table can be intimidating. When the number of former professional football players, I may think I know football, but I can’t hesitate to give my opinion on a call or a game change. No matter how much you try to improve your weaknesses and improve yourself, you should be yourself by contributing differently. What I brought to the table was the generational shift in football today from people who follow teams and what they do on Sundays. They follow multiple teams and players using their phones within minutes. That is what I brought to the table, being myself.
(8:50)How paramount is this diversity important to human beings or the company?
I joined Pepsico in the late ’90s. When I joined, it was a men’s environment. Pepsico was a very opportunity environment. They believe the world is diverse in many aspects. If a company didn’t change its recruiting and culture to attract various people and make them stay, it would not stay in that business in the future. I was lucky enough to be a part of and a leader. So I watched the company’s transition from a very white male-focused to a diverse place. If you have any business problem, gather people from different backgrounds; that diversity of perspectives will solve the problem faster and more successfully. So I lived and believed it. One of the things I’m passionate about and why I joined the Band of sisters today is to get your members up to recruit diverse people, which allows you to make a culture that will enable people to feel more comfortable from different backgrounds.
(11:22)Did you experience any kickback from people not embracing 100% of these new changes?
Anthony, I was lucky I was not kicked in my face. When I worked in advertising, I was asked to join with a type 1 detergent product, but I needed to work with sports products. I was not excited. However, it was a massive move for others as I was the first woman working on such a vast project. Typically, what you have performed in your job and your strengths are evaluated when offering the next job to you. The company was so good. But one day, a person called me and said, “You won’t make it here; you are not our type. I’ll do everything by my power that you’re not going to make it”. Lucky for me, I had that confidence. I played back, and other people helped me. When I had an issue, I confronted them without complicating the situation.
(15:11)Did you always have the mentality to develop something over time?
It developed earlier in my career watching others. One of my successors had ways of raising complex subjects that aren’t personal or as an attack interpreted as angry and aggressive. A lot of people grow things appropriately. How they do it is misinterpreted, and overreaction is the other side. You should try to help others and have more connections. It will be infectious if you are excited and enthusiastic because you feel like you can bring that. The role of a leader is to make sure that the people in the organization are comfortable being at work, and knowing the different capabilities and personalities will bring more business success.
(18:24)Did you share what you believe?
Mentors are someone who gives you knowledge and perspective, helping you to perform better over time. I needed mentors for packaging development and operations to get more advice when I entered marketing. When a decision is made, the mentors are not in the room. So, think about who you want to sponsor; someone senior in your direct line can be in the same department. How one person gets selected rather than another is quite an advocate for you.
(21:48)Can you unpack what the band of sisters is about and how your team is together?
The band of sisters consists of 6 women from different races, single, married, with and without kids. We work together at Pepsico. We support each other and share stories. But sometimes the stories could be more funny. We discussed how to educate younger women and help with what we had earlier experienced and thought to bring men into the conversation. Before the pandemic, we started speaking and advertising on this and decided to get more examples and materials. When the pandemic hit, we collected 360 stories and decided to write a book instead of speaking. We needed it to be inclusive and gain help from others, including men.
(32:09)Did you think through which ones were the more important to put into the book? What was that conversation like?
We looked through the themes. Pepsico is powerful in personal development. We had a very affinitive process to see people get together and talk with each other. How they should be judged: performing metrics like future capabilities were considered. We need to get together the things to make sense. We need to give a book of flow about the situations.
(34:43)What was the exact name of the book?
You must get specific advice to bring attention to a situation. We don’t want to handle the situation differently. We have used three voices about how we dealt with the problem. So the people can relate.
(39:57)What is next for the band of sisters?
We continue working with companies and associations and coaching and mentoring people. A book is a piece of helping others. We don’t know whether we will write a book or not.
(40:33)What transpired in your world?
In my world, we spend a lot of time with a band of sisters. From my business standpoint, I get invitations to come and talk to extend my impact. It is exciting to dive into the subject. I wouldn’t do it if it were not comfortable for me.
(43:20)Where can the people access the book and you?
We have a website called “thebandofsisters.com,” and you can buy the book from Amazon and bookstores. You can follow any of us from Linkedin or the band of sisters. The contact list is there.
(43:56)What promise did god make to the world when he created you?
The best comment that anybody made me said was, “You don’t give up,” and you will help others.
Key Quotes
(17:37-17:56)The role of a leader is to make sure that the people in the organization are comfortable being at work and knowing the different capabilities and personalities will bring more business success.
(10:07-10:27)The diversity of perspectives will solve the problems faster and more successfully.
How to connect with Dawn Hudson
Website- https://thebandofsisters.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/the_band_of_sisters/
Linkedin- https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawn-hudson1/
Tue, 20 Jun 2023 - 48min - 373 - How to Design the Man Within - Johnny Elsasser
In today’s episode, our guest is a beautiful human being, Johnny Elsasser. Johnny has a crazy excellent story about his life being in Iraq protecting the American ambassador to Iraq. He has a lot which has never talked about. He has grown through the dark, finding the light times. He is the author of the book “Design the man within” which guides the man to realize that he is not alone in his journey full of struggles, feelings, and judgments to deserve the world.
(3:07) Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because I struggle just as any other man works at the end of the day, and I don’t want to hide that. The only difference is how I use many tools and get through the dark times quicker than I used to. Hopefully, in this conversation, I can give you some tools to help.
(3:40) Let’s unpack your framing of dark times. We all have perspectives relative to humans. What are the kinds of dark times you are referring to?
It’s always the moment when you are alone. Everything starts to close in, and you will be the harshest critic and the most judgemental person on the planet. It’s a dark time for me. It’s when we discover what can defeat us and put us in the dark. It can show us what keeps us away from our goals and targets. Dark times are what I look at myself.
(4:48) I didn’t realize how I felt about being out of it. Some people may not realize that they are in the dark. Do you mind sharing your dark times as awake up call?
Most people may not know that they are having a dark time in their lives. They’re just going through lives but don’t know what’s happening. When I was in special operations protecting the US ambassador to Iraq, I loved it. After I came home, I didn’t have the flag anymore, and I wasn’t representing the flag or the country. At that moment, I thought, “Dude, what are you doing?”. When I lost my purpose of serving overseas as a soldier, I felt I had no direction. What I was doing during those days was not filling me up, and that is when I started drinking a lot, not being the best version of myself. This situation led me to a bad relationship with my ex-wife, leading to a divorce, and at that time, I wasn’t living up to my full potential. You are going to be either a piece of crap or good. You need to make a choice. That is where I had an honest conversation and wanted to be a good person.
Some people don’t know this. They keep doing the same, which is terrible in the long run. What do you think about navigating the mentality? Though I know what to do, I fear doing it.
This is like I was having a conversation with someone else. When you have that internal conversation, you can see the big picture, the big goal. And involved in this big picture, you can see all the steps to that picture. To the people who think that I am not going to do that since there is so much effort in every single step and too much involvement, what I need to say is to see the goal and start compartmentalizing everything. First, you need to get through the front door. You take what is in front of you. Just do one step at a time and keep going, and you will feel, “Oh, that’s not bad.”
(13:40) For you, what do the steps look like? Once you go through a journey, you realize you have gone in the wrong direction. What is your say on this?
Internal confrontations regarding your ego and insecurities are essential. Remember that you are not victims. What happens outside of us are all our doings. The external outcomes are being received due to how we interact with the outside world. You should confront how I should balance myself and how to create myself as a man who can be dangerous and empathetic and move forward as a holistic version of what a good man should be. My internal conversations were, “Don’t ask the wrong question; otherwise, you will expose something strong.” You could call it a weakness, but I would call it an under-note. In this conversation, I need to be honest with my answer and the work necessary to correct that behavior or respond to what I need to be.
(19:11) The discomfort holds the path. I can develop by focusing on opening up for businesses and relationships. Is life that simple and easy?
I should mention this. We are overcomplicating and just being too dumb to quit. We have the fear that is stopping us from doing. Think about the worst thing if you fail or something wouldn’t go out well. The answer would be the current position you would be living in. That is what is killing me.
(21:47) you have done great things. What is the journey to writing your book?
It is a mysterious book. Military or paramilitary service is so rigid and kind of structure for you. Because of the responsibilities, there is some beauty in that. But after leaving that, people don’t know how to design the rest of their lives with the transition. I had to go through this process of losing my first wife from a failed marriage and not knowing who I was. Ultimately, I understood that I had the power to design the man who showed up in every conversation. With certain principles and foundations, highly curated traits were picked up for me. I created a man who is consistent with the things I put in my life, specially designed to be intentional. Then life became more accessible.
(24:51) Who is the perfect person to pick this up and read?
I had talked with elders in 70 and 80 s, but I failed because those men were spiritual and not connected to the 97% of everyday men. I didn’t want to forget this time because we have a quickly evolving society, and we continue to hold back the perceptions of masculinity that men should be. We should develop ourselves to complement how the organization will create a robust and influential figure that holds the authority to avoid chaos in the world. We need good men, and this book is for everyday men.
(32:51) Through designing the man, can someone become a protector of his wife, and kids and enjoy his life
What you create in this design is adaptability. We are adaptable and robust enough in our foundation and always try to overcome when things get chaotic and complex. When it comes to designing men, adaptability gives you to experience life with confidence. You have to choose it. Being able to adaptable will create an environment to be with your family being the fun-loving dad and the romantic husband.
(34:53) Then you draw these in your life that they can be with you safely?
Yeah, exactly. Not only them but also the people around the kids and wife get to experience life differently.
(41:15) Where should I send the people to buy this book?
Send them over to design the men within.com. You can purchase them from Amazon and for presale. We have a free eBook at 99 cents.
(42:09) What promise did god or the creator make to the world when he created you?
I think they made a man who was too dumb to quit could show the world that he can influence through perseverance, development, growth, and authenticity. So that was what they made when they put me in this life.
Key Quotes
(10:03-10:09) When you have the internal conversation, you see the big picture, the big goal.
(10:27-10:33) See the goal of what you are looking at and then just categorize everything.
(10:38-10:41) You take what is in front of you.
(11:43-11:45) Just do one step and keep going.
(15:06-15:10) The external outcomes are being received due to how we interact with the outside world.
How to connect with Johnny Elsasser
Facebook: The art of masculinity https://www.facebook.com/the.johnny.elsasser/
Instagram: johnny.elsasser https://www.instagram.com/johnny.elsasser/?hl=en
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvppHFkWcwc
Email: johnny@johnnyelsasser.com
Web: https://www.johnnyelsasser.com/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnny-elsasser-men-s-leadership-for-today-b5128979
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ElsasserJohnny
Tue, 13 Jun 2023 - 43min - 372 - The Path Of An Eagle with Jay Fantom
Welcome to the AwwShift podcast, where we bring you the stories of extraordinary individuals who have impacted the world. Today, we are honored to host a true force of inspiration, Jay Fantom. Jay, is a young entrepreneur, award-winning filmmaker, speaker, and writer. His relentless dedication to becoming his best version shines through in everything he does. Jay's authenticity, honesty, love, kindness, and pursuit of excellence are evident in his daily endeavors. Jay has showcased his exceptional storytelling skills at the helm of The Story Box, a highly acclaimed podcast. With over 600+ episodes, he has unraveled the narratives of high-profile leaders from diverse fields. From Tony Robbins and Matthew McConaughey to Mel Robbins and Rachel Bilson, Jay has had the privilege of delving into the lives of remarkable individuals.
Join us on this episode of the AwwShift podcast as we dive deep into the journey of Jay Fantom. Prepare to be inspired by his remarkable achievements and the transformative stories he has unearthed. Get ready to shift your perspective and embrace the extraordinary with Jay Fantom.
Why should I listen to you?
It is good. I can be an exciting person. If someone is interested in me, I ask deep and meaningful questions at the beginning of the conversation. I may look for an overview as I don’t know you. I asked a random question from a person I met on a train. Do you have regrets in life?
You have a huge curiosity and the desire to go past the norm of the discomfort of talking to a stranger. Have you ever broken that rule? How was that nature neatly built?
When I was a kid, I always used to raise questions from the elders regarding what I was curious. Sometimes they got annoyed thinking about why this kid asked such questions. However, out of curiosity, I have done so many risky things by myself to quench my curiosity. Because of that, my mother advised me there is no necessity to talk to strangers, and there is possible danger. But I did not end up there, and some people enabled me to ask many questions about people they trusted and respected the most. The love for the people, their stories, and the books have always been with me. They helped me foster a child's genuine curiosity and the ability to ask questions.
What was your journey on the point to desire to help the people, and what prompted this direction of profession where you serve people?
I never thought I would be doing what I am doing today. I wanted to be a filmmaker, and my career path had been filmmaking since childhood. I wanted to be the next Steven Spielberg. Everything I talked was revolving around films and film direction. I found fine scripts and turned them into movies with meaningful messages. However, a part of me wanted to help the world, to make others understand the different values I grew up with through the essence of storytelling. However, my life did not end as I wanted it to happen. Now, I am on a completely different pathway doing different jobs, such as looking after kids and helping disabled people. Therefore there was a gigantic block on the way to my film direction career.
What was the moment that kind of unfolded here?
It was me in 2019 being broken to the point of getting my hands on my knees and feeling like I could no longer go and live anymore. There was an attempt to end my life in June of 2019. I also talked about this in the book “God Intervened,” in that instance, he saved me from taking my life. He put me in the best possible path. When I was knocked down, there were so many moments I was beaten down and didn’t know what I was doing then. However, now I continue to move forward. Earlier, I never got excited when a challenge came my way. Now I get eager to learn through the challenges and know their importance in improving my growth and strength. Through challenges, you learn so much about yourself. The choice is in our hands. Most people decide to be stuck and stay in pain out of fear. How I survived and overcame when I lost what I valued the most in 2019 is encouraging me progressively up to now.
You had a complete storm in your life. You decided to move positively as an intentional act at some point, right? I had been in misery for months under depression, attempting suicide, and abusing my job. It was time for me to leave the job and seek another. During my job interview with the CEO of a large company, he asked me only one question, “Why do you want to work here,” and my response was, “I just wanna help people.” During the return journey, I thought about how to help people and my life is not on the right track. Then I wanted to change my life in a proper direction. Long after that, he helped me find myself and my purpose: to live and live this life in the best way I can to distinguish between I am Vs. I do. A lot of people get confused about these two. Who you are has nothing to do with what you do, as they are entirely different situations. Who you are reflects your character, beliefs, and values, and these characteristics affect your actions. All those times, I had been missing who I am.
How did you become “I am” when knowing the things you have to do aren’t what you typically do?
Earlier, everything I did was revolving around filmmaking. Every job taught me a unique lesson about people and life. After deciding to be who I am, I understood that anyone can change whenever they want. After figuring out my values and beliefs, I wanted to consider new ways and career paths that mostly align with myself.
As we get older and do more things, we get tired and forget after a while that we are supposed to see everything and that life is full of fillings. I won’t be able to see the bigger picture. Then you don’t want to go and change into who you are. What do you think?
Some people may already know who they are. So anyone can change their career. Creativity can create more options if you know who you are and what you want to do. Don’t be subjected to blinded by just one thing.
What about finding outside sources such as mentors and coaches who had done this before to feed us inside? Reading books can be helpful, and how do you fit in there?
My second book, “The Path of an Eagle,” is for people who feel stuck and can’t move forward. Seeing someone else who has been through a similar struggle and then moved forward successfully inspires others as a positive example. First, look at the macro and then the micro without complicating the situation. If you ask, “What is stopping me from doing what was effective for someone,” the answer should be, “If he can do it, then I can do it too.” Earlier, I also didn’t believe my book would be published. However, I could post the book after going through the necessary steps.
After reading this book, what will I have in my knowledge?
I hope you understand your worth, identity and how you see challenges from different perspectives. I had gone through a lot of suffering in my life. Therefore, I want others to learn something from this book, see the challenges, and become stronger. I assume “The Path to the Eagle” is a unique healing path for the ones who want to raise like eagles. Publishing a person’s story that has not been publicly shared may help others struggling. The sense of community, bonding, and belonging is our story.
What’s your next stage in serving humanity?
I’m working on another book at the moment, and it’s regarding unboxing stories. It will help people to unbox their own stories. Some people may think their story has no value, but I’m here to show them each level has value and help them share it.
Where can people get access to the podcast or the book?
They can reach through any podcast platform or check out the book on Amazon and The Story Box podcast.com website.
What promise did god make to the world when he created you?
That is a good question. Here lies a persistent, courageous authentic storyteller who gave his all and lived for Christ.
Key Quotes
“Be alive and live this life in the best way possible to distinguish between I am vs. I do.”
“Through challenges, you learn a lot about yourself.”
How to connect with Jay Fantom
Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/iamjayfantom/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jay-fantom-91a6b96b/
Website - https://thestoryboxpodcast.com/
Tue, 06 Jun 2023 - 47min - 371 - Get Wired for Your Ultimate Success with Brad Bizjack
In today’s episode, our guest is Brad Bizjack. He is the CEO and Founder of Brad Bizjack, LLC. He's a personal development expert and international inspirational speaker with almost a decade of experience coaching thousands of individuals and teams to maximize performance and elevate their mindset and career to the next level. He's developed online mindset academies sold in multiple countries throughout the world.
[2:48] Why should I listen to you?
That's an excellent question. It's intriguing because it's not something I've been asked before. If I were faced with that situation, my approach would be centered around active listening and genuinely understanding your story and current circumstances. Perhaps the key lies in empathy and having a deep understanding of what it feels like to walk in someone else's shoes, coupled with a strong desire to be of service. From a credibility standpoint, my ability to connect with people stems from years of personal struggle. I have experienced the challenges of being overworked, underpaid, and burdened by significant debt. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't seem to break free from that cycle. However, once I embraced the strategies and concepts we'll be discussing today, everything started to change for the better.
[4:18] Do you mind taking us through your journey?
After college, I pursued a job to overcome my debt and achieve financial freedom. But deep down, I craved more—I wanted to break free from mediocrity and outrun my past. That's when I discovered online business and its promises of success, inspiration, and financial abundance. However, despite my efforts, nothing seemed to work. I found myself trapped in a cycle of toxic positivity, pretending everything was fine while struggling internally. Realizing I needed a mindset shift, I hired a coach despite my mounting debt. During our first call, she opened my eyes to the true path to success: rewiring my mind and finding happiness. This revelation led me to attend a life-changing conference focused on limiting beliefs, where I underwent a transformative experience. From there, I paid off my debt, retired my wife, and built a thriving business serving clients worldwide. I discovered that true success comes from rewiring the mind and prioritizing happiness and appreciation for life. This is where my journey began.
[8:08] How can someone find a moment of happiness?
It's crucial to examine what people believe will bring them fulfillment, especially when facing financial struggles. Often, individuals associate peace of mind, freedom, or other desired outcomes with having more money. However, it's important to question who took away their peace of mind or freedom. No external factor has the power to strip away these inner qualities. Many individuals find themselves in a mindset of "should"—believing their circumstances should be different, and they should have more money, a bigger business, or a happier life. This mentality can be counterproductive as it prevents them from recognizing the lessons that will help them break through their challenges. Scott Harris introduced the concept of feathers, bricks, and trucks, illustrating how life presents us with lessons. Initially, life gently nudges us with a feather, but often, we brush it off and fail to learn the lesson. In response, life intensifies its efforts, tossing a brick with a message tied to it through our window. Instead of focusing on the shattered glass, we should seek the lesson hidden within the note. Problems, though painful, are gifts that demand our attention. However, if we continue to ignore the lessons, life may resort to drastic measures, like a Mack truck with a note painted in red.
[12:33] What do you have to say about the idea of setting a goal?
I believe in the old adage that without vision, you shall perish, which holds true even in biblical teachings. Unfortunately, many people make the mistake of lacking a compelling vision for their future. Past failures and disappointments have left them so wounded that they have become attached to specific outcomes, believing that their worth is tied to those results. As a result, they shrink their goals to make them more realistic. However, I share the viewpoint of Will Smith, who said that realism is the quickest path to mediocrity. While it's important to be realistic about the actions and time required to achieve our goals, being realistic about the dreams themselves often fails to ignite excitement. Instead of setting goals based on what we truly desire, we tend to base them on past experiences. We rationalize and convince ourselves that we can only handle a certain amount or that it's all we can take on right now. This mentality is comparable to having multiple plugs connected but neglecting to plug in our health. Many people approach their lives this way, trying to be realistic when setting their dreams. Unfortunately, they find that they don't achieve these smaller goals, leading them to think they should aim even lower.
[18:52] How does someone have this thing that they love that might be in the same direction but not the same thing?
That's a valid concern, and it's essential to approach the pursuit of one's heart's calling with careful consideration and planning. It doesn't always mean making drastic changes or completely upending your life. Here are a few steps to lean into chasing your heart's calling without blowing your life up: Reflect and clarify, set realistic goals, plan and strategize, seek support, manage risks and resources, embrace gradual change, and practice self-care.
[23:06] How does someone lean into chasing some of their heart's callings without blowing their life up?
Many individuals harbor resentment toward their current circumstances, Let's make note of two important points. Firstly, from a conceptual standpoint, if you are formulating a vision and expecting immediate support from others, you're being unrealistic. As a visionary, you lead the way and initiate the idea. Eventually, people will join in. For instance, when I started my business, my wife initially believed it was the worst idea ever. However, now she is incredibly happy with our successful venture. I hold no judgment against her, as her concern was for our security and stability. She saw my pursuit of a dream as a threat to our safety. Her intention was pure, she aimed to protect us. The key takeaway is that, as a visionary, you must take the leap of faith without immediate support. Now, if you have a family to provide for while chasing your dreams, it may not be the most responsible choice to abandon your sole source of income, risking your children's well-being. I firmly believe in providing for my kids. Now, let's delve into the psychological aspect that can be helpful. Many people have dreams or callings in their hearts, but they bring negative energy to their existing roles or careers because they feel they shouldn't be in those positions.
[33:20] What do people use nowadays to get from point A to point B that you believe is some useful thing we should think through?
So there's something we discussed earlier, and I'd like to touch upon it. It's about achieving success, which I believe is your forte. I'm eager to talk about the commerce I've been working on for quite some time. It all started during a hiking trip with my friends. Every couple of years, we embark on a two-week hiking adventure, tackling challenging trails like Half Dome and backpacking through the Grand Canyon. On the journey from Grand Canyon National Park to Yosemite, I sat in the front seat with my friend Jim. During our conversation, Jim made a profound statement about getting ideas or insights when we lack a pen to jot them down. We pondered this observation, and Jim compared road trips to success. He said, "If you're not excited about your destination, why would you embark on a cross-country drive?" It struck a chord with me, and I had a realization: success is akin to Google Maps. However, there's another crucial factor at play—the stories we tell ourselves about our present circumstances. Most people, driven by their need for significance, tend to create disempowering narratives about where they currently stand. They undermine their progress, fail to recognize the beauty of their journey and berate themselves for not yet reaching their goals.
[44:30] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That I will make people smile
Key Quotes
[10:25-10:28] Your emotions cause you to take action to change your circumstances.
[11:04-11:09] You can't really learn to shift your life until you learn how to appreciate life.
How to connect with Brad Bizjack
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bradbizjack
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BradBizjack
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bradbizjack
Tue, 30 May 2023 - 46min - 370 - How to Live a Rich Life with Joshua Krafchick
In this episode of the Aww Shift Podcast, we sit down with Joshua Krafchick, a highly respected life coach, entrepreneur, and speaker, to delve into the secrets of living a rich life. Joshua has dedicated his life to helping individuals unlock their potential and embrace abundance in all aspects of life.
Anthony and Joshua Krafchick engage in a thought-provoking conversation about what it truly means to live a rich life. They discuss how richness extends beyond financial wealth and encompasses multiple dimensions, including personal fulfillment, purpose, relationships, and overall well-being.
Throughout the episode, Joshua shares practical strategies and mindset shifts that empower individuals to cultivate abundance. He emphasizes the importance of shifting limiting beliefs and patterns that hold us back from living our richest life possible. Joshua provides actionable tips and habits that can attract prosperity and fulfillment in all areas of life.
The conversation also touches upon the significance of purpose and how aligning our actions with our true passions contributes to living a rich life. Joshua discusses common obstacles and challenges that may hinder our journey towards richness, and offers effective techniques to overcome them.
By the end of this inspiring episode, listeners will gain a clear roadmap to live a rich life and be equipped with the mindset and tools necessary to embrace abundance and prosperity. Tune in to discover the secrets to living a rich and fulfilling life with our esteemed guest, Joshua Krafchick.
Tue, 23 May 2023 - 43min - 369 - How to Rewire Your Brain - Dr Alok Trivedi
In today's episode, our guest is Alok Trivedi. He is the founder of one of 2021 Inc. 5000’s fastest-growing companies and the author of the acclaimed “Chasing Success: Lessons in Aligned Performance.” While running one of the biggest healthcare clinics in the country, Dr. Trivedi was inspired to use his therapeutic doctor background coupled with 27 years of studying the mind/body connection to develop his methods which now included 92 scientifically proven techniques to rewire the fear, beliefs, and habits that hold you back so you can achieve the life you’ve always dreamed of.
[2:25] Why should I listen to you?
I may have encountered various experiences that could potentially assist you in navigating the chaos you are presently facing. Additionally, I possess a systematic process and scientific tools that can aid you in navigating these challenges, sparing you the need to repeatedly confront them.
[2:55] Where did that skillset develop?
Through my practice as a doctor, I have had the opportunity to see and treat over 500,000 patients throughout my career. Initially, my focus was on helping individuals with physical ailments, such as back pain, neck pain, and shoulder pain. However, I soon realized that by delving into the realm of their minds and aiding them in rewiring their thought processes, remarkable transformations occurred. Surprisingly, these positive changes took place without any physical intervention on my part. This experience prompted me to adopt a new approach to guiding patients in healing themselves through a thoughtful questioning process. Over time, my expertise expanded beyond medical settings, and I began working with entrepreneurs, business owners, CEOs, and even celebrities. The scope of my work broadened, but it all originated from recognizing the intricate connection between the mind and body and comprehending the inner workings of the human frame.
[3:53] What does rewiring mean?
Indeed, the process involves rewiring not only the neurochemistry of the brain but also one's perspective and perception. The ultimate goal is to attain a state of equilibrium within the brain, as the entire organ constantly seeks balance. Our objective is to assist individuals in achieving this balance across all aspects of their lives, promoting harmony within their minds.
[4:20] How would someone know they are out of balance?
Many individuals tend to solely focus on their external surroundings, observing the preexisting chaos that exists. However, it is crucial to direct attention inward and acknowledge the presence of the inner voice, commonly referred to as the ego, within our minds. This internal noise generated by the brain holds significant importance. Additionally, it is essential to consider one's symptoms and overall health, as true well-being encompasses more than just physicality. In today's society, there has been a separation between psychological and mental health from our physical state. However, I believe this perspective is entirely inaccurate. Mental health is intricately intertwined with our overall well-being. Thus, our objective is to bridge the gap between mental and physical health, recognizing their interconnectedness and fostering their harmonious integration.
[5:23] What kicked you into this realm?
I have always had a relentless pursuit of seeking answers and understanding the intricate workings of the mind and body. My journey began as a physical therapist, which led me to become a chiropractor. However, I found myself continually questioning what governs various aspects, repeatedly asking, "What controls what?" As I worked with patients who suffered from back pain, I embarked on my journey. It was during this time that I started assisting individuals in believing in their ability to heal. I realized that as a doctor if I had not personally experienced the transformative power of care, I would not truly comprehend its profound truth. I had to undergo the process of rebuilding and reawakening my brain when I faced the turmoil of a painful divorce, losing everything in the process. During that challenging period, I had to reconstruct the fragments of my mind to bring myself back to life. Financially destitute, I struggled to make ends meet, surviving on minimal resources for days on end. It was through piecing together the elements of this puzzle that I gained a profound understanding of how the brain truly operates.
[6:50] What were the things you did to pull yourself out of a dark place?
I had a significant realization during a speaking engagement. While promoting positive thinking and similar mindsets, I found that it did not align with how the brain truly operates. Backstage, I expressed my frustration to others, seeking help as I struggled financially, trying to meet my child support obligations, and feeling the weight of it all crashing down on me. I was desperate to figure out how to turn things around but couldn't make any progress. People who were well-known in the industry advised me to examine my beliefs, stating that they shaped my reality. However, this seemed illogical to me because reality appeared to be based on what was objectively observable. It was during this time that I realized someone could experience back pain, but the root cause could be diverse, such as a herniated spinal disc or other underlying issues. The back pain was merely a symptom. This realization sparked an epiphany that whatever we perceive is the symptom, while the cognitive aspect is internal.
Motivated by this realization, I returned home and delved into my textbooks like a mad scientist. Fuelled by coffee, I spent the entire night researching and developing a path and process to understand how the brain truly functions. I wanted to grasp how the brain creates emotions and the genuine anatomical process behind beliefs, not just the psychological aspect. It became evident that I had formed a belief in my life following my divorce, which was that one could have either love or money, but not both. This belief influenced my experiences, as I had been seeking love while facing post-divorce struggles. I had to piece together this understanding and then focus on rewiring this specific belief. I started implementing these techniques, gradually rewiring different aspects of my mindset, including increasing my sales, confidence, and self-worth. Each day, I continued the process of neuroplastic growth, rewiring my brain to enhance my value. Interestingly, I discovered that I could similarly assist others. This became a significant aspect of my work, as I found joy in helping entrepreneurs rewire their brains to achieve absolute fulfillment and success, without compromising their worthiness.
[10:20] Why did you choose entrepreneurs and what are you trying to accomplish for them?
I've always been an entrepreneur at heart since childhood, deeply fascinated by the world of entrepreneurship. However, what struck me as remarkable is the lack of entrepreneurial doctors discussing mental health and its impact on our physiology and overall well-being. It's worth noting that 72% of entrepreneurs experience mental health disorders, even though we may not readily acknowledge it. We often label it as stress or attribute it to the relentless pursuit of success. However, from a biological perspective, this constant grind is detrimental to our health. It can lead to conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, stroke, and other physiological ailments. The correlation between our business challenges and the resulting health symptoms is often overlooked. We find ourselves taking medications for the physical symptoms without addressing the underlying mental and emotional aspects. This disconnect is what compelled me to write my upcoming book, "Wired for Wealth," which focuses on rewiring the brain for both financial success and overall health. It aims to bridge the gap left by traditional training and offer a holistic perspective on achieving prosperity in all aspects of life.
I have experienced the need for massive rewiring in my journey and continue to do so. There was a time when I believed I had to separate my focus between making money and nurturing relationships. However, I realized that finding harmony between the two is essential. It's not about pausing one aspect to attend to the other but rather integrating and balancing them simultaneously. It requires rewiring our mindset to understand that we can have both financial success and fulfilling relationships.
[12:20] Why do you think people have some certain mentality?
We often tend to compartmentalize different aspects of our lives. Harvard conducted a study on this topic and highlighted the importance of work-life integration rather than striving for a work-life balance that implies separation. It's about recognizing that all facets of our lives are interconnected and should be integrated harmoniously. When we compartmentalize and fail to see the interconnectedness, we limit our potential for fulfillment. Achieving this integration is a part of personal growth and maturity. Moreover, it holds biological significance. It is immensely rewarding when we perceive various elements of our lives as contributing to our progress rather than obstructing it. As we align these aspects along a unified path, they guide us towards the prefrontal cortex of our brain, which is associated with higher cognitive functions, rather than keeping us stuck in the emotional centers of our brain.
[15:17] How do you approach things that seem like you can't change or control?
We often forget that the external environment is a reflection of our internal state. The five primary emotions you mentioned, namely pride, infatuation, shame, guilt, and resentment, play a significant role in shaping our experiences. When we hold onto these emotions, they tend to be mirrored back to us in our interactions and circumstances. For instance, if someone appears angry or resentful towards us, it's essential to recognize that our triggers and behaviors may have contributed to that reaction.
Allow me to illustrate this with an example from a recent client session. One of my clients expressed that his spouse was excessively controlling. When we examined their dynamic, it became evident that her controlling behavior was, to a significant extent, a response to his controlling tendencies. However, the challenge arises from our resistance to acknowledging and accepting our flaws. We often judge and disown certain aspects of ourselves, making it difficult to see where we are stuck or disowning those qualities. Once my client was able to confront the fact that he, too, exhibited controlling behavior, a shift occurred. By recognizing and accepting this truth, the trigger between them began to diminish, allowing for healthier interactions. All of us need to reflect on our actions and emotions, as it enables us to break free from patterns that perpetuate discord and cultivate a more harmonious environment.
[20:50] How does somebody get to that point?
Whatever one is addicted to it, I call it an addiction. I remember when I first started my first business, I had nothing to my name. Of course, when you go off because nobody goes, but start a business when you have something you're afraid of losing, that fear of loss is the addiction that you've built to your success and that's the thing that's holding you captive. The other side is that if you've had a past where you've had a trauma or resentment or some challenge, and you don't want to do it again, that's also holding you captive. Both stoats are preventing you from actually moving into the state of gratitude, and love and being able to move forward, because they're the emotions that keep you trapped.
[22:10] Where do other outside human beings come into play?
They're the perfect mirrors. We have these neurons in our brain called mirror neurons and these mirror neurons are societally needed and are used for evolution and our family members so we can get super consumed with work and focus. Sometimes we can get super consumed with work and focus at some time, and maybe our spouse or partner says you know what, you never spend time with me you come home with the kids, whatever the case, and you're sitting there saying, I'm trying to build the business I'm trying to grow and the addiction to the one breeds the chaos of the other.
[27:50] How does someone discern when it comes to people?
Here's what I realized in the brain and what happens as you rewire your brain is that you automatically transcend the tribe that you're in but what will happen is because your influence will want to grow, you'll want to create a better impact inside the world. In most of the personal development space, they'll say things like you know what? You leave them because they're not supporting you and you leave because of resentment. You leave because of that. When you transcend you leave and you rewire. You leave with an appreciation of who they are, and you can still interact with them. You're not trying to shun them out. You've just grown at a different level. There's nothing wrong with that. But you're not leaving with an emotion. That's the key because there's no judgment.
[35:41] What do you think is the natural step order for people especially if they've worked with you before?
I think you need to first know who you are. What I mean by that is in your brain. What I've done is I've wanted to take the philosophy that we're talking about and never wanted to objectify. That was always my objective to say, how do I duplicate this for my kids more than anything else? Is it how I duplicate the path of fulfillment because you know what, it's not about the secret just sitting in manifesting and their action? So the seven levels of the brain in essence that I talked about, and it's going from a state of have to need to, to should too, which is the primary state of guilt into deciding to want to choose to learn love to and going through those levels of the brain silent so the first thing you gotta do is find out kind of where you're at which part of the brain are you using? Depending on where you are will determine how you're living as a function. Here's the interesting thing, I've also correlated. It's also really determining the impact you make and the money you make because of it and so, you got to find out where you are on that scale. I think that's the number one thing to do.
[38:08] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
To teach.
Key Quotes
[17:56-17:58] If it doesn't match your identity, you can't take those actions
[35:10-35:13] Any day, anybody can wake up and choose to be somebody else.
How to connect with Alok Trivedi
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.rewire
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/DrAlokTrivedi/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/drrewire
Tue, 16 May 2023 - 40min - 368 - Changing Human Behavior with Eric Zimmer
In today's episode, our guest is Eric Zimmer. He is a behavior coach, certified interfaith spiritual director, podcast host, and writer endlessly inspired by the quest for a greater understanding of how our minds work and how to create the lives we want to live intentionally. Eric has worked as a behavior coach for the past 20 years, coaching hundreds of people from around the world on how to make significant life changes and create habits that serve them well in achieving the goals they’ve set for themselves. He currently hosts the award-winning podcast, The One You Feed, based on an old parable about two wolves at battle within us.
[2:58] Why should I listen to you?
My expertise in everything I discuss, share, and teach comes from being in the trenches. I have personally coached and worked with over 500 individuals from various parts of the world. Additionally, I have interviewed over 500 intelligent individuals on these topics. I believe my knowledge and experience in these areas are based on these three key factors: my personal experience, my desire to assist others, and my constant pursuit of knowledge from the brightest minds in the field.
[3:50] Can you share a little bit of your background?
Although I grew up in a stable, middle-class suburban environment, there were still some gaps in my upbringing that influenced who I am today. However, I can't solely blame my circumstances for the choices I made. By the age of 24, I had hit rock bottom - I was a homeless heroin addict weighing only 100 pounds, with Hepatitis C and several felony charges looming over me. But despite all that, I was able to rebuild my life into something fulfilling and rewarding. The lessons I learned from my experiences can apply not only to those in similarly dire situations but to anyone struggling to live a life aligned with their values, cope with difficult thoughts and emotions, and manage their challenges. These are all universal struggles that we all face to varying degrees.
[5:35] What got you here?
It's difficult to pinpoint one specific cause for addiction or mental health issues. There are often multiple factors at play, and it can be a combination of genetics, environment, upbringing, and personal choices. In my case, I had parents who were struggling with their mental health issues, and I was a sensitive child who turned to stealing, drugs, and alcohol as a way to cope with my emotions. But ultimately, I believe that it's important to focus on the present moment and how to move forward, rather than getting stuck in the past and trying to assign blame or find a single cause for our struggles.
[17:10] How did you approach moments that feel like you don't know what you're doing?
It's interesting because there are both catalyst moments and thousands of small decisions that follow. For instance, deciding to become an NFL player may be a catalyst moment, but it's the countless grueling workouts and dedication that follow that ultimately lead to success. Recovery and sobriety are similar in this way. There may be epiphany moments where you realize you need help, but it's the ongoing commitment to making the right decisions that lead to long-term recovery. In my own experience, the catalytic moment was when I realized I needed long-term treatment while living in the back of a van. From there, it was a series of small decisions like going to meetings, working with a sponsor, and going to the gym that led to true hope and belief that I could change. Consequences are important, but they're not enough. We need both a true desire to change and a belief that change is possible to achieve long-term recovery.
[22:14] What are some of the lessons that you learned during these moments?
Living according to our values sounds great, but it's difficult to do and often leads to an unpleasant reflection. In my coaching programs, we do a deep dive into values, which can be challenging for people as it brings them face-to-face with areas they're falling short in. However, I believe it's helpful to reframe this by recognizing that we'll always veer off course, just like a plane constantly needs to refocus on its destination. Life is full of demands and distractions, so it's natural to get off track. The key is to minimize emotional drama and get back on course as soon as we realize we're off. By doing this more often without beating ourselves up, we'll be more willing to course-correct. On the other hand, if we spiral into self-criticism every time we slip up, we're less likely to get back on track. I always remind my coaching clients that getting off track is inevitable, but the important skill is learning to get back on track quickly.
[25:47] What are some of the behaviors people may not be doing and are not aware of the dire consequences?
In my experience coaching many people, I've noticed that certain behaviors can be problematic in the long run, even if the individual is not aware of their negative impact. However, it's important to note that what may be problematic for one person might not be an issue for another, depending on their values and circumstances. For instance, if someone has children and spends several hours a day playing video games, it could be problematic as it takes away from quality time with their kids. On the other hand, if someone is a bachelor and enjoys playing video games, it may not be an issue. One behavior that tends to have long-term effects is diet, which can have compounding consequences for better or worse.
[30:36) What are some of the behaviors you put into place that helped you?
I have struggled with depression for much of my adult life, which may or may not be linked to my addiction. Therefore, I prioritize my physical and mental health, including exercise, healthy eating, and sufficient sleep. While these behaviors are important for long-term health, they are crucial for my emotional and mental well-being in the present moment. Recognizing that these health practices make me happier and more fulfilled was a significant shift for me. Another crucial behavior is meditation, as I find contemplative practices and time spent in silence to be valuable. Additionally, I frequently ask myself if my actions align with my values and goals, as it is easy to fall into autopilot and live a life that doesn't reflect who we want to be. By reflecting on what matters to me and regularly adjusting my behavior accordingly, I am more likely to live a fulfilling life aligned with my values.
[37:00] Sometimes, our journey is full of ups and downs like a roller coaster. What do you have to say about that?
I believe that accepting the uncertainty and doubt that comes with any creative endeavor or building a new business is essential. For instance, my current project is writing a book, and it's natural to experience self-doubt and uncertainty. However, what has helped me is learning from other successful authors by having them on my show and hearing about their struggles. Even the most accomplished individuals go through similar challenges, but they have learned to manage and navigate them skillfully. Monitoring my progress and adjusting accordingly has been crucial in recognizing and handling any uncertainty that arises. Creating something new inherently involves fear and doubt, and these feelings are not a sign of inadequacy, but instead, they are part of the process. Building a new business is no different, and moments of uncertainty and doubt are common. It is essential to understand that these challenges are normal and not to let them discourage you. It's a misconception that successful individuals have it easy, but the reality is that everyone struggles with self-doubt and uncertainty at some point in their journey.
[41:45] Do you mind sharing with us what the parable in your podcast means?
My podcast always starts with a parable, the origins of which are unknown, but many of you may have heard it. It speaks of two wolves that reside within us - one representing kindness, bravery, and love, and the other representing greed, hatred, and fear. The question is, which wolf will win? The answer is the one that you feed. I love this parable because it's a reminder that we have a choice in our actions and that we all have both good and bad within us. It's natural to have doubts, fears, and uncertainties, but it's how we respond to them that matters. The first step to responding to our negative thoughts is recognizing them and understanding why we want to change. Awareness is key to any kind of change. We should not be attached to our thoughts, as they may not always be true or accurate. They are simply the result of various causes and conditions that have accumulated over time, along with chemical processes in our minds. Some thoughts are closer to reality than others, and we need to learn to work with them more skillfully and smartly. Studies show that about 85% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of them are repetitive. It's important to take inventory of our thoughts and analyze them so that they don't run rampant.
[47:45] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
There is hope.
Key Quotes
[32:40-32:44] Spending some amount of time in silence and reflection on things is valuable.
[40:48-40:51] Little by little, a little becomes a lot.
How to connect with Eric Zimmer
Instagram: https://instagram.com/one_you_feed
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/1ufeed
Twitter: https://twitter.com/oneyoufeed
Tue, 09 May 2023 - 49min - 367 - How to be a Game Changer with Setema Gali
In today's episode, our guest is Setema Gali. He is a global keynote speaker, trainer, author and COACH. He is not a “business coach” though he has radically transformed hundreds of companies. He is not a “life coach” though he has radically up-leveled thousands of lives. He is very simply a RESULTS Coach. If there is something that you want and you are truly committed to getting it, Setema is simply and literally the world’s greatest coach to the highly committed. He coaches his clients to create real, radical, and even “impossible” results across all four domains of life: the physical, spiritual, relational and financial.
[2:50] Why should I listen to you?
I consider myself to be an excellent listener and I enjoy getting to know people wherever I go. I have a passion for what I do, and I believe it is my life's purpose to impact, influence, and inspire people. Helping human beings reach their highest potential is one of my missions on this planet, and I find it\incredibly fulfilling.
[4:00] Were you always a great listener?
I grew up in a large family of nine kids, with older and younger siblings. I read a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People'' by Dale Carnegie, which taught me useful techniques for building relationships. One of the key points was to remember people's names, take a genuine interest in their lives, and learn more about them. I found that this approach really worked for me, and it made me feel good to connect with others. My wife even jokes that I can strike up a conversation with someone in an elevator and have them become my friend by the time we reach the 15th floor. I enjoy getting to know people wherever I go, whether it's at the store or gym, and building meaningful connections with them.
[5:38] Do you mind walking us through the point that led you here?
During my college days, I admired Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, and Jim Rohn, and their impact on people's lives inspired me. I felt a calling to be a teacher and help people change their lives. After playing in the NFL, I entered the mortgage and real estate industry, where I was successful and made a lot of money. However, I felt unfulfilled and knew that I was meant to do something else. When the recession hit, I lost everything, including my home and businesses, and had to sell my Super Bowl ring for money. I struggled to get my businesses off the ground and eventually filed for bankruptcy. I was depressed and unsure of my purpose until I found a new calling in speaking and helping people solve their problems. Today, I live on a beach in Destin, Florida, and love what I do. Although it was a difficult journey, I'm grateful for the experience and the opportunity to help others.
[17:00] What kind of human would you like to work with?
I coach, build, liberate, and lead leaders, particularly entrepreneurs and business owners. However, anyone who is a leader, whether in their home, organization, or church, can benefit from my services. I work with many women who are making a difference and creating significant results, and I know that by helping one leader, I can positively impact countless people. By assisting a mother who is also a business owner or entrepreneur, we can change the trajectory of an entire generation. I am passionate about serving leaders who are driven to achieve big things and produce meaningful results.
[18:10] What were the biggest stumbling blocks at the beginning of your work?
One of the major obstacles I encounter when coaching clients, particularly those who are leaders with hundreds or thousands of employees, is that they often don't receive honest feedback or criticism from anyone. As a result, the first thing my team and I do is establish a relationship built on 100% transparency and honesty. I make it clear to my clients that unless they can be completely truthful with me, there's nothing I can do to help them because they'll continue to hide behind a facade. Once they're willing to be honest, however, we can identify and address the real issues holding them back, whether it's problems in their marriage or something else entirely. By being authentic and vulnerable, clients can open themselves up to endless possibilities for growth and success. As a coach, I'm not afraid to speak candidly and use powerful language to push my clients towards their goals, which ultimately leads to smooth sailing.
[21:38] What is your dynamic dance of harmony in your life?
For me, there are some things that are non-negotiable, such as date night with my wife on weekends and taking my oldest child to early morning seminary at 5:15 am. Afterward, I go to the gym, pick up my two younger daughters and bring them to the office with me every day. We have family vacations planned every year for summer and winter, and we have family prayer and Scripture study every evening. We also have regular family meetings to discuss important topics such as faith, grades, and relationships. I have three sons, and I make sure to have open and honest conversations with them about important topics like sex and pornography. We have agreements in our home instead of expectations, and we function as a team. If I make mistakes as a father, I apologize and move on instead of dwelling on guilt and shame. I prioritize spending quality time with my family by leaving my phone downstairs and being present in the moment. I want my sons to be well-rounded individuals in all aspects of life, including spirituality, physical health, emotional well-being, intellectual growth, and relationships.
[30:23] What do you think are some core elements for people to think about those moments?
I believe that asking the right questions is key to experiencing life with my family in a meaningful way. Questions like "what daily life experiences do I want to have with my sons?" and "How do I want my sons to remember us?" is important. It's not about looking at phones, but about being present and engaged in activities like working out, playing catch, and teaching our children. I recently watched a show with my son and wife, and it made me reflect on how I want to spend my time with my family. With a 16-year-old, 13-year-old, and 18-year-old, my day is divided into four quarters. The first quarter is focused on personal time, studying, and working out. The second quarter is dedicated to my business. The third quarter is for my family, and the fourth quarter is for dropping off to sleep. Winning each quarter is crucial to winning the day, and consistently stringing together winning days is how I'll succeed. I appreciate your point that real life isn't just about the highlight moments on social media, but the everyday moments that are often unseen. Listening to my son and wife and connecting with them in a meaningful way is what truly matters
[36:34] How did that become a unique thing for you?
I can relate to what you're saying because I had a similar experience. As an athlete, sometimes we forget about the inner beast that lies within us. But when I went through a bootcamp program, it awakened something inside me. It made me remember that I was a champion and a competitor. The program consisted of physically challenging activities like carrying an 80-pound bag for 10 miles or crawling, and pushing through those physical challenges gave me a breakthrough. It made me realize that I am capable of so much more than I thought. It's one thing to talk about it in a classroom or seminar, but it's a whole different ball game when you're actually put to the test. When you combine the physical challenges with spiritual, business, and relationship challenges, it creates a transformational experience. People who go through the program come out changed and ready to make significant changes in their lives.
[44:10] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
According to the promise that God made to the world, he would send some individuals to help people remember who they were, who they are, and who they could become. These individuals would be bold and courageous, and I believe that I am one of them. My mission is to help people unleash their full potential, especially when they have forgotten it. I have been through this process myself, and I am grateful to those who helped to liberate my soul.
Key Quotes
[34:30-34:33] What you do is based on what you want.
[37:01-37:05] There are so many lessons when you break something physically.
How to connect with Setema Gali
Instagram: https://instagram.com/setemagali
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/setemagali
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com › setemagali
Tue, 02 May 2023 - 47min - 366 - How to Collect Confidence with Kim Gravel
In today’s episode, our guest is Kim Gravel. She is the host of a bevy of number-one shows on QVC and is a wildly successful entrepreneur, television personality, motivational speaker, life coach, podcaster, and leader in the fashion and beauty industry. In 2016, she partnered with QVC to launch her apparel line Belle by Kim Gravel followed by the Belle Beauty cosmetic line a year later. In five years, Kim has grown her brands from zero to hundreds of millions of dollars in sales.
[3:07] Why should I listen to you?
I've faced highs and lows in my journey, experiencing moments of financial struggle and blessings. Throughout my career and life, I've gained a collection of valuable knowledge and skills, and this is what makes my story worth listening to. In today's world, it seems like everyone claims to be an expert, but without any actual experience to back it up. That's why it's crucial to seek out individuals who have achieved what you aspire to or succeeded in something you desire. These are the people we should be paying attention to. Whether you can watch or listen to me, if you're looking to start a business, build a brand, or enter the television industry, I believe my insights are worth considering, even if it's just for a few valuable tips.
[4:40] Can you take us back to a point where confidence wasn’t part of your collection of human skills or traits?
I believe that we are all born with a certain level of confidence and a calling. However, as we go through life, the ups and downs, the mistakes, and the messes that happen to us or that we create for ourselves, chip away at our confidence. The world is a confidence sucker, and we end up losing sight of that inherent confidence that we were born with. But, as we go through life's journey, the mistakes, the regrets, the losses, and the wins all become a part of our message. Collecting confidence is essentially gathering up the pieces of confidence that have been broken and chipped away in our lives and putting them back into our souls. When we were young, we were fearless, and the world was our oyster. However, little by little, comparison, mistakes, and problems chipped away at that confidence. This book is about the journey that I've been on, but also the journey that the reader has been on, and how we have all been collecting our confidence. Some of us may not even realize that we have it, but it's there.
[8:10] How does someone find an approach to calling and pursue it?
In the book, I emphasize that the concept of calling has been a constant theme throughout my entire life. It can even be traced back to a specific moment in the fifth grade when I started an air band called Rare Edition with my girlfriends. Despite not fully understanding it at the time, I now realize that my role in the band was not as a singer, but as a builder and manager, as they had organized and created the outfits and instruments for the performance. This experience taught me that I have a knack for building and creating, and it served as a foundational moment in the understanding of my calling. So, I encourage readers to trace their own calling back to their earliest childhood memories, as this can help them identify their purpose in life. Despite many people believing they have a purpose, few can pinpoint exactly what it is, and I suggest that doing the work of examining one's past can help in discovering it.
[10:40] Where did the thread start to gleam?
Throughout my life, I've realized that I had been chasing the wrong things, including the wrong men and the wrong career. It wasn't until I was around 40 years old that I fully understood this. During a recent interview, a young woman in her early 30s expressed to me that she felt the need to do more. I explained to her that I could do many things as long as I was building something, but that doing only one thing poorly wasn't an option. It's essential to figure out what you are meant to do in life because when you do, an abundance of energy, resources, and opportunities open up for you. This realization feels like a light switch going off in your soul. It's not just about business or creating things for monetary gain. It has to be something that truly fulfills you on an inward level. It may sound cheesy, but this is based on my lived experience.
[18:27] How did you gain the confidence to step out in the face of people who loved you?
Those little voices in your head and in your life are always talking and talking, but the thing is, they didn't hear the calling - you did. So, you need to consider the source of those voices. When people are clamoring and talking, even your own inner critic, you have to let the voice of your calling be bigger than all the other voices clamoring for your attention. You have to feed and amplify that voice and not let the distractions of everything else be louder than your calling. The purpose is great, but the calling is different - it's a vocation. And when you look up the word vocation, it means a voice calling. It can be a part of every aspect of your life - your relationships, parenting, career, business, and community interactions. Imagine if we all walked in what we were made to do - it would be a whole different world.
[23:30] What do you have to say about mentality?
You must be bold and confident. You have to enter the room knowing that even if you lack the qualifications or the willingness to take on a job or task, you still belong there. Life requires you to gain experience, and not all experiences will be victories. Failures can teach you more than successes ever could. Many people are afraid to take action and become stuck in their fear. My best friend, for example, was scared to speak in front of people but played a critical role in our business winning an award. She texted me after accepting the award and said that it changed her perspective and she's ready to take on a more significant role in the company, even though she's 50 and I've been encouraging her for three years. The lesson is that sometimes you just have to take the plunge and do it anyway.
[32:05] What is your message to someone who thinks he can’t succeed because he has failed a lot of times?
That statement is false, and you're believing a lie that you're telling yourself. The truth is, if I, a middle-aged Southern woman with minimal education, can accomplish what I have in my life, then anyone can. The key is knowing who you are and what you're called to do. Don't focus on your mistakes or your past, as they are building blocks, not stumbling blocks. It doesn't matter what you've done in your life. Also, I appreciate the mention of Kanye because he is a genuine and authentic person. People respond positively to authenticity in a world that often values fakeness and superficiality. Even though I love a good filter, I'm not talking about that kind of thing. I'm referring to the importance of being true to yourself. Faking who you are will only lead to self-doubt, but being authentic may cause temporary vulnerability and remorse, which will eventually fade. Being fake will never lead to true confidence. So, please,be authentic. I'd rather respect someone I'm not a fan of who is genuine than someone who is fake.
[49:35] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
You are a unique and exceptional creation, designed with great care and intention. Your DNA, your calling, and your purpose are all yours and yours alone. God created you with a specific plan in mind and has equipped you to fulfill it. Embrace your individuality and trust in your abilities to carry out the work you were meant to do.
Key Quotes
[6:50-6:54] You can’t be fully confident if you are not walking in your calling.
[22:25-22:30] You can’t get confidence from someone who isn’t confident and you can’t learn success from someone who is yet to be successful.
[26:32-26:40] The reason why we don’t try things isn’t that we are scared of failing but scared of what if it works
How to connect with Kim Gravel
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgravel
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimgravelofficial
LinkedIn: https://twitter.com/KimGravel
Tue, 25 Apr 2023 - 51min - 365 - How to Find Your Future with David Greene
In today’s episode, our guest is David Greene. He is a successful real estate broker, bestselling author, and BiggerPockets Real Estate podcast co-host. He is a highly respected authority on real estate, having been featured on CNN, Forbes, and HGTV, and has appeared on over 25 different real estate podcasts. As a licensed real estate broker and lender, he runs "The David Greene Team," a top-producing real estate company in Keller Williams, where he has won multiple awards for production.
[2:25] Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because we will get into a conversation where we will discuss everything about you that is stopping you from getting the things you want in life or being happier.
[3:34] Where did this come from?
I grew up having a relationship with God, and I think that helps a lot, depending on how you perceive God. My perception of God had a lot to do with the fact that we’re forgiven for everything we’ve ever done. You can operate at this level of honesty about your problems and still be loved by him. So you can take off your shirt at the pool even if you don't look good and still feel loved. When I didn’t have that perception, I felt unloved. I struggled with confidence, shame, and laziness, and there was always resistance to getting out there and doing what I needed to do to make my life better. I always craved the right people who would come along as friends, coaches, and mentors and who would help me overcome my resistance. So my best friends became people who practiced with me and helped me get better.
[5:20] What was the process like for you?
High school basketball coaches had a big impact on me, especially one in particular. My first varsity coach asked me to play varsity as a sophomore, but I declined since they already had a good team and I didn't want to be stuck behind another player. Nonetheless, that coach believed in me, which gave me the confidence to play harder. This was important since my relationship with my dad was rough, and I often felt like he preferred more athletic kids. During my senior year, a new coach came in who had just graduated from ULP, a Division I college in Stockton that was making it to the NC double A's every year. This coach brought a Division I college program to our high school, which raised the standards significantly. This was tough, but it helped me grow stronger and understand that I needed to keep raising the bar bit by bit. While I have failed many times in my life, the standard set by my basketball coaches has been like a north star, guiding me toward improvement, happiness, better relationships, and wealth.
[8:05] Can we talk about your high school?
I grew up in Chico, which is located between Stockton and the waterpark. The waterpark was a popular destination, especially when I was playing basketball. At the time, Michael Olowokandi was the number one pick in the NBA draft and he had been playing with my coach. They were a dominant team, beating even the top-ranked teams in the tournament. However, my athletic career didn't go as planned, and I broke my ankle while training with a talented player who was the best on his college team. I used to play one-on-one with him at the gym, and although he usually won, I would occasionally win too. But when I saw him wearing Colorado basketball shorts one day, I realized that he was a guard for the team and was good. This made me shift my mindset and realize that sometimes we don't see ourselves from the best angle.
[10:50] Were you injured during that period when you were with that individual?
I traded with another guy, who happened to be the best player, but I had a lot of ankle injuries from repeated sprains. I didn't understand how it worked at the time. I thought my body knew how to heal from sprains faster, without realizing that each time it happened, my ligaments were getting stretched. The last time, a couple of ligaments snapped in half, and the bones crushed together and broke off. I tried to train with almost nothing, but the pain was too much to handle. Eventually, I had to get reconstructive surgery, and my eligibility was revoked. I was frustrated because I was so close to proving myself, just 99% of the way there. However, this experience taught me a valuable lesson, and it gave me the motivation to push harder in other areas. I had a chip on my shoulder because I didn't achieve what I wanted in my athletic career, which motivated me to graduate from the tough police academy and succeed as a police officer. Although this career can be full of temptations and hate, it all depends on how you let the external world affect you. From there, I became a real estate agent and investor, and my past disappointments have fueled me to push harder than others.
[13:24] What are some of the challenges you faced and how did you approach them?
I applied to 14 different apartments before getting hired by one. The application process is not just about settling down; each apartment had about nine or 10 steps before getting to the academy. I had to go through constant oral boards, physical agility tests, written tests, and endless driving across various departments. Even when I got 80% of the way there, I still got rejected a few times because of my past speeding tickets, or for never having done drugs or getting into fights. They thought I couldn't handle the job's stresses. Finally, I got hired by one apartment after 13 failures. When I arrived at the academy, the biggest shock to me wasn't the screaming or physical demands, which I was used to from playing sports. It was the emotional shock of being yelled at and punished for something I didn't know was wrong. In sports, coaches would show you the right fundamentals, and if you didn't follow them, you got into trouble. It was a logical approach. However, in the academy, I got in trouble for military rules I didn't know, which was very discouraging. Despite feeling hopeless, I knew I couldn't go back to applying for 14 more departments, so I stuck through it. I also saw this as an opportunity to change my life and gain confidence as a man. I felt like God had put me on this path, and if I didn't complete it, I could end up accepting being a quitter for the rest of my life. I had a healthy fear that quitting would become a part of my identity, and I didn't want that. It's okay to get injured or washed out if it's out of your control, but it should never be because you voluntarily gave up.
[16:55] What was your experience of being an officer after finally making it through the journey? Did you feel settled and secure, or did you always have a lingering feeling of uncertainty?
You constantly fear getting fired during the FTO program, where an experienced officer evaluates and teaches you simultaneously. It's an emotional state where they're teaching and evaluating you, and they decide whether you make it or not. It's hard, especially when you're younger, trying to remember policies, listen to radio codes, drive in an unfamiliar neighborhood, and identify penal codes. You're being watched and every mistake is noted, creating a constant fear of getting cut. You study hard, drill codes in your head, and seek comfort. It's like being a rookie in sports, where everything feels like white noise and you're a step behind everything, but with time, you cross a threshold and start seeing things before they happen. Many people don't make it through, and it's a continuous struggle even after you pass the academy because you have to learn how to do the job and earn your peers' respect. If they don't trust you, there will be conflict, and you'll be miserable every day.
[24:40] What was the catalyst that made you decide to do something else after going through all the things you just talked about?
There is an answer that makes me sound intelligent - I foresaw the strained relationship between the public and police officers improving, particularly in the Bay Area. The negativity of the officers around me was exponentially worsening, and it was beginning to affect my thoughts and actions. Even though my beliefs didn't align with those negative feelings, it was challenging to fight against them constantly. However, I had invested too much time and energy into my career as a police officer and wanted to be the best. It's tough to let go of something that defines your identity, especially for men. That's why people like Tom Brady continue to play football when they retire. But something inside me was changing. I'm not sure if it was divine intervention, but I no longer felt the same desire to continue in law enforcement. It was as if I had a fistful of sand, and the tighter I held onto it, the more sand slipped through my fingers. One day, even the easiest call, like someone with a stomach ache, would make me angry, and I would curse the world on my way to that call. It was as if a door was closing on that chapter of my life, and it made sense to leave. Emotionally, it was a powerful decision, and I felt like I was suffocating. I needed to find a new challenge because there was no longer any joy in the job. People were depending on me, and it was an uphill battle to maintain a positive attitude every day. I knew I wasn't strong enough to overcome those challenges, so I had to move on.
[26:56] Why real estate?
I used to own rental properties, and I was comfortable with that. However, I became a real estate agent because I was tired of referring my friends to agents who weren't very good. In my opinion, most real estate agents are terrible, and it's hard to find good help in this industry. When my friends came back to me with questions about their agents, I would end up doing the agent's job. So I decided to get licensed and do it myself. While I was still working as a cop, I would show homes in the morning, go to work in the afternoon until late at night, then go home and repeat the process. I was also part of a group called Good Abundance, where I was encouraged to stop working overtime, learn how to be a businessman, and eventually ride off into the sunset when I made enough money. But to be honest, I hated it. I didn't like sales or having to persuade people. As a cop, it was easy to tell people what to do, but that doesn't work with scared people who are unsure about buying a house or how much to pay. I felt like a bodybuilder trying to learn yoga, but I needed to stretch and become flexible. I had to connect with people, listen to them, and share personal stories to build trust. Once I realized that personal growth led to more money, I knew what I had to do in this new industry.
[29:25] What made you feel secure enough to take the risk and venture into your endeavors?
Looking at a chart of how success happens when learning a new skill, it's not a linear process where you put in X hours and get X better, like in the world of work. Learning a skill, such as playing the guitar or building up your biceps, requires perseverance and patience. When I started working out, I was frustrated that my wrists would tire before my biceps during bicep curls. It took months of consistent effort before my wrists were strong enough to support my biceps, and even then, my forearms needed work too. Progress is not always linear, but rather a series of adjustments and improvements. Whether you're a major league baseball player or learning a new skill, success takes time and effort. It's important to keep pushing through the frustrating moments and trust that your hard work will pay off in the end. During this period of growth, you may not see immediate success or financial gain but don't give up. Keep at it and trust the process. Once you reach the inflection point, where progress exponentially increases, you can put even more time and effort into your pursuit.
[33:50] How can someone who doesn't have the same experience as you, in real estate, learn from your success and create their version of wealth through real estate?
You can't be a David Green or an Elon Musk; only a handful of people in the world can achieve what they have. However, anyone can strive to be the best employee they can be. When I worked at Todos in high school, my goal was to excel at my job just as I did in basketball. I wanted to outperform my coworkers and become the boss's favorite. This attitude worked well in the workplace because many people approach their jobs with minimal effort. When I started working in restaurants as a busboy and host, I approached every day with a positive attitude and a desire to learn. As a result, I was promoted to waiter, making grown-up money right out of high school. I learned that nobody stops you from giving your best every day, and that mindset has carried me through every profession. Instead of waiting for more opportunities, start by doing your best in the job you have and looking for ways to do more. That's something anyone can do.
[43:08] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I believe that one of the key takeaways from our conversation today is that if you put your heart and soul into pursuing your goals, there's no guarantee that you'll achieve them. However, you will inevitably develop the qualities and attributes necessary to attain what you truly need in life. My own experience attests to this truth, that if you give everything you've got, success will come. It's like going to the gym and giving it your all every single day. There's simply no way you won't become stronger. You may not end up with the same physique as Arnold Schwarzenegger or Michael Phelps, but you will undoubtedly improve your abilities and skills. So, if you apply this same mindset to every aspect of your life, you'll begin to see the same benefits and blessings.
Key Quotes
[23:35-23:37] If you can't attain it, you can't sustain it.
[32:45-32:50] There's more energy in the time when you've just made a shift than when you're just showing up.
How to connect with David Greene
Instagram: https://instagram.com/davidgreene
Facebook: https://facebook.com/davidgreene
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/davidgreene
Tue, 18 Apr 2023 - 47min - 364 - How to Elevate Your Frequency to Grow with Anna Lozano
In today’s episode, our guest is Anna Lozana. She is a multifaceted entrepreneur who thrives on adventure, creation, and service. She is also the co-founder of Love Powered Co, an affirmation company that brings mindfulness, connection, and gratitude to women and families around the world.
[4:38] Why should I listen to you?
Well, we are all energy, and at that moment, my inspiration to speak to you was clearly because I felt your energy. Also, for you to have turned around, that means you must have felt my energy, and through that, we can become an energetic match for an authentic, activated conversation.
[6:38] How should somebody approach their thought process about themselves and their expression to the world?
There are so many brands that have been created, especially in the online space, which makes it feel saturated, and more people are being called out to step into their most authentic selves and show up unapologetically. More people are trying to show up in their fullest expression because that is the true energy of their brand, so if you’re trying to be like someone else, there is going to be a mismatch and you’ll be unable to magnetize clients that are meant to be in your world. It’s just so cool because we are being called to be ourselves and scale our brands in that way.
[7:58] What does it mean to operate as your authentic self, and what do you think stifles that for people?
I grew up in East London, Ontario, Canada, and I always claim to be like Anna from the blog, which I have hidden for a very long time. I remember vividly that when I was in sixth grade, brands like guest brands and clothing brands started popping up. I was shopping at Goodwill at the used clothing stores, and I started to surpass who I was to fit in. I remember launching into the entrepreneurial space 13 years ago and during those times, I was a person behind closed doors and sometimes I wasn’t
[9:45] Why do some people not feel compelled to express who they are?
Well, it is the safety mechanism. It keeps us safe and secure, and sometimes we create this bubble of protection because we’ve been hurt and judged in the past. I am a mom, wife, and entrepreneur, and the more I can bring that into my personal brand, the more I will connect with my audience and the more I can show my vulnerability. It’s our humanism, and it’s not being on a pedestal and having perfect days; it’s embracing the human aspect of us that comes with ups and downs. Sometimes we have great days and sometimes we do not, and if we can learn to show up on bad days, our audience will be able to relate to us because we are humans.
[11:40] Why do we like to see people show their flaws?
Taking the lockdown into consideration, we were not around people, but now we have events, retreats, and conferences, and that’s what we are craving for in a human connection. It’s always a responsibility to be perfect all the time because you feel the need to dress well in a way that fits the host’s brand. However, the truth is that it makes some people feel like they are not portraying who they really are. It should be about how you can lead in alignment with what feels good for you without trying to fit into somebody else's world. We are all energy and transmitting energy; our brand is transmitting energy, and our energy is boomeranging back to us with people's experiences and opportunities. The more we can be authentic, the purer our energy will become, and it will naturally magnetize everything that we desire.
[19:02] Can you compare what your brand was back then to what it is currently?
So as a natural, self-proclaimed hustler, I have never needed someone to tell me what to do or how to do it. I just figured everything out, but this is how the transition happened. About 6 years ago, when I dove into motherhood, I had both masculine energy and the ability to hold feminine conversations. I had to figure out how I could balance these two energies within me. I felt this calling as a mom to rebalance these energies. So I decided to infuse joy, pleasure, and freedom because we bring what we know into entrepreneurship.
[21:18] How did you find a solution and navigate the energetic flow?
When I became a mom, I had a little one who was 100% dependent on me, so I could no longer do things the way that I knew how to do them. I couldn’t work for longer hours, I couldn’t constantly show up, launch, or sell, and I became really uncomfortable. I had to sit back and ask myself what the next chapter of success looks and feels like. My capacity is much lower, and my girls are now five and seven. It’s been a lot of work, but I feel like I have reached an alignment lead and opportunities are coming in all the time. So if something doesn’t feel good or is not aligned, I no longer say yes. I don’t even say yes because I want to please certain people or because it’s going to move my business forward. I say yes when it is in alignment.
[25:02] How can someone find out what their thing should be, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks?
There are so many perspectives and opinions out there, and it’s like we have this internal compass called intuition. My body speaks to me, so when I’m out of alignment or saying yes to things I shouldn’t, I feel it. So right now, if you are feeling out of alignment, that is your first step to figuring out what you should do differently. We all have that choice, and that is why we become entrepreneurs to have more choices.
[40:34] What are the things you’re trying to melt or emit?
Yeah, I want to bring this energy conversation to the forefront. Many women have been building and scaling businesses and showing in this evidence of success that society needs you to work like a man. So for me, I call it a calling home. It is how we can rebalance these incredible energies within us. It is how you can lean more into trust, rest more, and also bring that into marriage. For so long, I was in a masculine energy, and I had an authentic conversation with my husband. All he wanted was for me to surrender, to be in my feminine energy, and to be taken care of. Until that conversation happened, he didn’t know what I wanted, and neither did I. I just knew that I wanted to have masculine energy in my business/work and feminine energy at home, which has been incredible with raising two daughters.
[44:50] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I will be a badass, a rebel, and an activator. We all have a sparkle within us, and we are only here for a short time, so it’s time to bring this light to the forefront.
Key Quotes
[7:15-7:20] If you are trying to be who you are not in business, you might end up not getting the clients that you desire.
[13:10-13-12] The more we can be authentic, the purer our energy becomes
How to connect with Anna Lozano
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_annalozano/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/annalozano11/
Website: https://annalozano.com/pages/about
Tue, 11 Apr 2023 - 44min - 363 - How to Truly Get and Stay Healthy with Tamar Samuels
In today’s episode, our guest is Tamar Samuels. She is a registered dietitian nutritionist and the co-founder of Culina Health. Her unique approach to nutrition care integrates functional medicine, positive psychology, and behavioral change techniques pulled from her training in clinical nutrition and coaching science. She's helped countless people transform their relationship with food and their health to overcome various health conditions.
[2:35] Why should I listen to you?
I think we should listen to everyone. It's interesting because as I have become busier as a startup founder and a mum, I tend to want to listen to people less. But what I do for a living is to listen to people, so that is why you should listen to me.
[3:50] What compelled you to implement your big idea?
Well, of course, it was not an intentional choice. The timing was just an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. I have been a registered dietician for about 10 years, and I met my co-founder early on in my career. Her name is Vanessa Roseto. She is also a black dietitian. We met each other at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City and we just kind of instantly connected but we then never really followed up with each other until 2020 to grab a coffee. She messaged me on Instagram and we both had shared passion and frustration about the same things in the nutrition space and we decided to create a group nutrition practice that took insurance. A couple of months later, the pandemic happened, I got pregnant and so it was really serendipitous in terms of how I got to this place where I have a startup and a toddler at the same time.
[5:40] What are the things that frustrated you?
The nutrition space is really fragmented and confusing and inaccessible to most people. Most people think that nutrition is an elitist service that is only reserved for people who can afford to pay, you know, 1000s of dollars for personal nutrition who gives them a customized meal plan and works with their private chef to execute that meal plan. A lot of people who are not clinically trained and who aren't healthcare professionals are giving nutrition advice and then nutrition advice is not found. So we created Kulina so we can solve those problems, the problem of misinformation, the problem of lack of access, and the problem of lack of culturally competent care.
[8:30] How do you guys enter into the conversation knowing that sometimes people might already have skeptical views on things?
Yeah, and they should be skeptical, skeptical because the information has changed over time we used to vilify fat, and that then sparked the food industry to create all of these low fat highly processed products that were very high in carbohydrates, which then sparked the conversation that actually like we need to do low carb and high fat that then cause people to completely eliminate carbohydrates and vilify carbs. right. so the information is confusing because of all of the stakeholders that are profiting from nutrition. right and ultimately, that's a big part of the problem.
[9:58] How do you get people to understand nutrition?
Yeah, such a great question. Ultimately, it's through science and personalization. We have research, a large body of research on different topics in nutrition that changes all the time, and as Registered Dietitians, we're responsible for always being on top of the research and disseminating that information in a way that is no pun intended digestible for people. So we have science and we have research, but we also need to work with individuals on their particular goals and their lifestyle. There're so many things that are intertwined when it comes to nutrition as it relates to stress, physical activity, mental health, our gut microbiome, lifestyle in terms of demands, with caretaking social life. All of these components are really important when we're working with people to change their health outcomes because they're unique. What works for me probably isn't going to work for everyone and so we need to take all those factors into account.
[14:00] How do you address the accessibility portion?
I think the most important way that we address accessibility in multiple ways, but most importantly, is by taking insurance. We also provide access by doing telehealth, so working with people virtually allows us to meet them where they're at. The work that we do requires regular meetings you don't change and a lifetime of habits in a one-hour session with a dietitian. It takes consistency and support, so insurance allows us to see our patients pretty frequently.
[16:42] How do you navigate the aspect of people taking care of their health seriously?
I think a lot of that is about having support for self-advocacy. Self-advocacy for your health is one of the most difficult things that people can do. Whether it's self-advocacy to your loved ones or your healthcare professional, it can be really uncomfortable and difficult for people to advocate for their health. There are several reasons why some of them are related to systemic racism and sexism. I have patients who tell me they have a very high nutrition IQ but they are terrified to go to their doctor and get labs done because of previous experiences with medical racism. Empowering people to prioritize their health is so important and one of the mindset shifts that we really work with our patients is advocating on their behalf. We also empower them to advocate for themselves in these difficult situations by giving them tools to support.
[21:20] How do you approach the health and fitness aspect?
We can definitively say that physical activity is important for disease prevention and overall longevity, stress management, and a number of different health outcomes. So in the work that we do at Kulina health nutrition is obviously we're registered dietitians. Our expertise is in nutrition, but we really work with our people on establishing routines. around health overall, within our scope of practice, and so we do have some registered dieticians who are also certified fitness instructors. One of our RDS is a yoga instructor. Another one is a personal trainer. And so there are some dieticians on our team who do specialize in physical activity, but with all of the people that we work with, we are encouraging healthy, balanced movement that is sustainable for their lifestyle. And so we're really working with people on not just changing the way that they eat the way that they eat, but also changing the way that they move.
[25:30] Do you recommend wearables?
There is a small body of research that talks about wearables and whether or not they have meaningful impacts on people's health overall. I think that pedometers can be super helpful from a behavior modification perspective. Some people really lean into the data and appreciate having benchmarks that are measurable, albeit most of them are not accurate, but at least they convince themselves that they're accurate or even just having a benchmark can be motivating from a behavior modification perspective.
[32:45] What triggered you to step into this kind of world?
It’s interesting because I actually always wanted to be a therapist. I always knew I wanted to help people if I shifted from mental health to physical health. When I had my own personal experience managing a GI condition that really impacted my quality of life, I did what I just told everybody not to do, which was to try to self manage. I worked with well intentioned physicians who didn't know anything about nutrition, but also didn't refer me to a dietitian and so I ended up in this place where I was just chronically unwell.
[41:47] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I'm good at understanding people and I think that helps me to be more empathetic, and to use that power for good.
Key Quotes
[9:24-9:28] Sometimes it's easier to fool someone than to convince them that they’ve been fooled.
How to connect with Tamar Samuels
Instagram: https://instagram.com/tamarsamuels.rd?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tamarsamuels.rd?mibextid=LQQJ4d
LinkedIn: https://linkedIn.com/tamarsamuels
Tue, 04 Apr 2023 - 44min - 362 - How to Make Success Feel Like You've Succeeded with Laura Gassner Otting
In today’s episode, our guest is Laura Gassner Otting. She is an author, catalyst, and Executive Coach. She inspires people to push past the doubt and indecision that keep great ideas in limbo by helping her audience think bigger and accept greater challenges that reach beyond their current, limited scope of belief.
[2:48] Why should I listen to you?
As an introverted person, I rarely initiate conversations with others. On a plane, for example, I would put my earphones in even if they're not turned on. It's ironic because I'm a professional speaker, and I'm comfortable speaking in front of large crowds. However, if I did feel compelled to talk to you, it would likely be because I care deeply like a Jewish mother. Perhaps you're having coffee with someone who is giving you terrible advice, and they've stepped away for a moment. I would turn to you and urge you to listen and avoid making a mistake. I would speak with such conviction and passion that you would either agree with me or think that I'm unhinged. In any case, you would feel hesitant to ignore my advice because you might upset me. I know this may sound crazy, but that's just how I am.
[10:20] Can you unpack more about your journey?
Yes, the journey from being a reluctant speaker to becoming a successful one was definitely not an easy one. It required a lot of hard work, persistence, and courage to overcome the fear of public speaking and the uncertainty of pursuing a new career path. After my TEDx talk, I started getting invitations to speak at other events and conferences, and I realized that there was a demand for my message and my style of speaking. But I also realized that I had a lot to learn about the craft of speaking, such as how to structure a talk, how to engage the audience, how to use humor and storytelling effectively, and how to handle unexpected situations. So I invested a lot of time and effort into learning from other speakers, attending workshops and conferences, and practicing my talks. I also hired a speaking coach who helped me refine my message, my delivery, and my stage presence.
But even with all the preparation, there were still moments of doubt and fear. There were times when I questioned whether I was good enough or whether I had anything new or valuable to say. There were times when I faced difficult audiences or technical glitches or travel delays that tested my patience and resilience. However, I also had moments of joy and fulfillment when I saw how my talks were inspiring and empowering people to make positive changes in their lives and their communities. I received feedback from people who told me that my talks had helped them overcome their own fears, discover their own purpose, and take action toward their own goals. And that's what kept me going, even when the road was bumpy and uncertain. I realized that speaking was not just a job, but a calling, a way for me to share my passion and my vision with the world, and to connect with others who shared that same vision.
[25:50] How does someone get to that point where they can turn off the monitor that says they need to be accepted by everybody?
Upon the release of my most recent TEDx talk on the concept of wonder, it garnered nearly a million views with approximately 20,000 likes and 700 comments. While it is safe to say that it has been well-received, there have been criticisms, such as a comment from one individual who questioned why I speak in a certain manner. I responded to this criticism by sharing a screenshot of it on my Instagram account and stating that this is simply how I speak. However, even with this response, the negative comments still affect me deeply. Amy Cuddy, who was also a victim of online bullying due to her power posing, advised me to stop reading the comments altogether, recognizing that it is a cesspool of negativity. Nonetheless, I find it difficult to silence the voices of those who criticize me, and I often find myself reading the negative comments and doubting myself. I even remember the one-star reviews of my books verbatim, even though there are countless five-star reviews. To cope with this, I attempt to amplify the voices of those whose opinions I respect, even if they do not explicitly praise me. I recognize that these individuals show up for me, cheer me on, and discuss me with their friends, yet they are not always vocal about their support. Therefore, I seek out their honest feedback and sit down with them to ask if the criticisms hold any validity, hoping to gain some clarity amidst the noise.
[31:25] Can you unpack the cool concept about Wonder Hell?
When "Limitless" was released and became a best-seller, I expected only a few people, like my mother, father, and sister, to purchase the book. I mainly wrote it to overcome feelings of fraudulence when speaking on stage and to have a tangible accomplishment. However, it was a huge success, and Amy Cuddy even provided a blurb for the book. We sent out press releases in January, and the day after, the Today Show contacted us, having been drawn by Amy's name on the book cover. The book came out in April, and I made appearances on the Today Show, Good Morning America, and other shows. During a red-eye flight home from speaking at an event where I shared the stage with Malala, I realized that the work I had done had opened doors I never thought possible. The potential I saw was both exciting and daunting, and I struggled with anxiety, imposter syndrome, and doubt. We all experience this burden of potential, where we realize the possibilities for our lives and wonder if we will live up to them.
While it may not be easy or smooth sailing, these moments are invitations rather than limitations. When I found myself feeling overwhelmed and stuck at home, I had the opportunity to talk to a variety of people, from Olympic medalists and startup unicorns to everyday people like myself, about how they overcame difficult moments. I was curious to know how they managed to get through these challenging times. What I discovered was that there is always another difficult moment waiting for us, even after we conquer one. Instead of just surviving these moments, we should learn to embrace them and thrive in them. This is what I talk about in my book, "Wonder Hell," which is divided into three sections: Imposter City, Downsville, and Burnout City. Each section has its own set of challenges, like rides in an amusement park. We often think that achieving success will make everything easier, but in reality, it only gets harder. Therefore, it's important to appreciate the challenges along the way and ask ourselves if this is what we truly want to be doing. My book is shaped around lessons learned from the people I talked to about how they got through tough times.
[39:18] How does someone approach imposter syndrome to achieve success?
There are many different ways to approach achieving success. One piece of advice I often give is that the things that got you to where you are now may not be the same things you need to reach your next goal. However, these past accomplishments are what has given you the confidence to stand where you are today. For example, there is a woman I mention in my book named Dorie Clark, who has had success as an author, speaker, and business school professor. A few years ago, she decided to pursue a completely different career in scoring Broadway musicals. On the first day of her program, when everyone was introducing themselves, she was intimidated by the others' accomplishments. But instead of feeling unqualified, she recognized that she had been successful in other areas of her life and that with hard work and practice, she could become successful in this new field as well.
Confidence is not something you are born with; it comes from competence. Competence is developed by consistently taking action, learning from failures, and getting back up again. You don't become a marathon runner overnight; you start with running a mile, then a 5K, and then a 10K. Similarly, the skills and experiences that have led to your past success can be translated or adapted to help you achieve your next goal. It's important to reflect on how you got to where you are now and identify the strategies and skills that you can use to continue growing and developing. By doing this, you can approach your next challenge with the knowledge that you may not be good at it yet, but with effort and practice, you can become good at it.
[48:35] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I believe it's challenging to answer that question without sounding arrogant because I believe that the Creator intended for all of us to have a purpose and make a positive impact on others' lives. However, I also believe that humility is essential, and it's something that we learn from our elders. Ideally, I hope that the reason why the Creator put me on this earth is to make a difference in people's lives and contribute to their well-being, even if it's just a small part. For instance, I aspire to positively influence my children's lives and provide guidance to them whenever necessary.
Key Quotes
[22:50-22:54] What is holding us back is not the fear of being loved by people, it is the assumption that people’s opinion matters
[23:05-23:10] I am not who I think I am, I am not who you think I am, I am who I think you think I am
How to connect with Laura Gassner Otting
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heylgo/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heylgo/
LinkedIn: https://na.linkedin.com/wonderhell
Tue, 28 Mar 2023 - 52min - 361 - How To Make Your Relationship Amazing with Lisa Bilyeu
In today's episode, our guest is Lisa Bilyeu. She is the co-founder and president of Impact Theory, a digital media production company focused on empowering content. In addition to co-founding Impact Theory, she also co-founded the billion-dollar brand, Quest Nutrition. Her career trajectory has been an arc from housewife to entrepreneur, transforming my business focus from nutrition to entertainment media, and now jumping in front of the camera to host the YouTube show, "Women of Impact," which centers on all things female empowerment!
[3:25] Why should someone listen to you?
I actually don't think people should listen to anyone first. The truth is that everyone will give you advice, but there's only one you. It's important to listen to your own voice and figure out what you need to hear. I have my own perspective, my way of living, and the things that I've learned from my own experiences. I can share my stance, opinion, and thoughts, but ultimately it's up to you to decide what will serve you best. I believe that sometimes the right message comes from the right person at the right time. It could even be a stranger or a barista who gives you better advice than I could at a particular moment. I know this may sound like a cop-out answer, but it's important to acknowledge that everyone has their own journey and path. So many people look to successful individuals and take their words as gospel, but when they fail, they make it about themselves. It's important to remember that people are only giving their opinions, and it's up to you to decide how to use them to grow and change.
[6:55] How did you get to a point where you developed a little bit of trust?
Oh, that's a great question. I think you have to just touch the hot stove. Even when people tell you it's hot. You have to get burned. Secondly, we talk about intuition. But what we don't talk about is that intuition is like a skill set. It's like a muscle you have to train. And so what we've done our entire lives is what we've trained our intuition, to the point that if someone walks in the room, and starts looking around frantically and moves slowly, your intuition says, maybe you should keep an eye on this person. They're acting quote-unquote. Now people just like to say, oh, no, that's intuition. No, it's not. It's 20 to 30 years of you identifying that when people walk into a room and look like that. So intuition, to me, is a skill set.
[18:08] Have you ever experienced difficulty in making different statement?
Yes, absolutely. It's been a real challenge for me to articulate what I'm looking for, and Tom, my husband, has pointed out that I tend to repeat myself without getting to the point. I've come to realize that I need space to express myself and talk things out, as it helps me understand my own thoughts and emotions. However, I've also recognized that leading with emotion can cloud my clarity, and that makes it difficult for others to understand me. Tom and I have established an agreement on how we communicate when we're in a state of emotional distress. For the first 10 minutes, I just need space to talk and let out my emotions, without any interruptions or suggestions. After that, Tom checks in to see if I'm ready to move on to finding solutions. It's been helpful for us to have this open agreement, as it avoids the typical "men try to fix it, women just want to talk" scenario. If I still don't have clarity, Tom will help me identify that, and I'll take some time to reflect before coming back to him.
To give an example, I started to feel disconnected from Tom, even though we work together every day as business partners. We recognized that we communicate differently with each other depending on whether we're in husband-and-wife mode or business-partner mode. I tend to be more wordy and emotional, whereas he is more direct and to-the-point. We've learned to establish which mode we're in before starting a conversation, which helps us communicate more effectively. So when I brought up feeling disconnected, Tom asked me some questions to help me identify what was causing that feeling. Sometimes, I might just be saying a lot of words without really knowing what I'm feeling, and in those moments, Tom doesn't necessarily know what to do differently. But we've learned to recognize that it's okay to just let me talk things out and process my emotions, even if there isn't an immediate solution.
[39:50] So what are you willing to do to get where you want to be?
Let's face it, if you believe that just wanting something is enough, then we'd all have six-pack abs, be wealthy, stay young forever, and have long-lasting relationships. In reality, there is a massive gap between wanting something and executing it. Wanting may be the spark that ignites the flame, but to turn that spark into a roaring bonfire, you need to keep feeding it air. You can't simply stop feeding it, or the spark will fizzle out. Keeping the fire burning takes constant work. If you want to become wealthy, successful, or have a happy relationship, you need to come up with an action plan. Willing something to happen is not enough. Tom and I realized this when we were building our businesses at the same time. We learned that nothing happens by accident. You need to put time and effort into anything you want to succeed at, or it won't survive. Neglecting a relationship will cause it to wither away, just like a business.
We understand that there is a massive gap between wanting something and having the knowledge to make it happen. Even listening to us talk about it won't make it happen for you. You need to take action. Once you have the knowledge, you need to put it into action and figure out what works and what doesn't. You need to continuously evaluate your progress and make improvements. Tom and I call this the physics of progress. Improving your relationship takes effort and planning, just like running a successful business. We have been together for 22 years, and we are more connected and in love than ever before. This is not by accident; it's because we're willing to work at it. Some people may find it funny or think we sound like we're talking about business, but this is all we know, and it works for us.
[55:10] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
To make ordinary people get back up and achieve their dreams.
Key Quotes
[28:50-28:55] There is a massive difference between need and want.
[41:50-41:55] If you want to improve on something, you have to come up with a plan and show up to execute it.
How to connect with Lisa Bilyeu
Instagram:https://instagram.com/lisabilyeu?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Facebook: Https://www.facebook.com/lisabilyeu
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/lisabilyeu
Wed, 22 Mar 2023 - 58min - 360 - How to Love Your Career with Tessa White
In today’s episode, our guest is Tessa White. She is an expert on career and company transformation with more than 20 years of experience in human capital strategy. She helps individuals successfully navigate careers and companies reimagine their workforce potential.
[2:27] Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because I believe I can help you avoid decades of struggling to navigate the difficult corporate workplace. I can provide shortcuts to some of the problems I've encountered on my own journey, drawing from my unique perspective as a former head of HR who has overseen the careers of tens of thousands of people. I have had numerous backroom conversations and learned valuable lessons about how to promote smoother career growth, which can be highly beneficial and even life-changing. Overall, I'm confident that my insights can make a real difference in your life. I hope you find them as useful as I do.
[3:42] Do you mind taking us back and walking us through that?
Sure. Well, if I go back far enough, I ended up as a single mother with three children, no college degree, and the daunting task of figuring out how to provide for my family. I had no real career to speak of, so I decided to pursue a job in HR because I believed that I had good communication skills and typing ability. It just so happened that I landed a job working for Stephen R Covey, the well-known author, and speaker who was a pioneer in the field of personal development. I learned a tremendous amount from him, which set me on the path to success. Fast forward 25 years, and you would find me as the head of HR at a Fortune 50 company, working with Blackstone in New York, and driving board meetings. However, the journey from nothing to something was far from easy. When the pandemic hit, I decided that I wanted to focus on helping people navigate their careers, rather than just protecting companies. This led me to start a business called 'The Job Doctor,' which I launched from my own home. On day three, my daughter shared some of my advice on TikTok and it quickly gained popularity, with 10,000 people following me in just three days. Since then, I have been able to help thousands of people navigate their own career journeys, which has been a truly rewarding experience.
[6:16] Prior to that, what was your plan to get out into the world?
When I worked at Vivint Solar, I had the opportunity to work with young millennials and Gen Z salespeople who were doing door-to-door sales with 4000 rows and flat build caps. I noticed that they were learning and thinking differently, and I had to quickly adapt to their unique styles. After leaving Vivint Solar, I realized there was a need for short-form learning that could be easily accessible through social media. Traditional long training sessions wouldn't work for these young people. So, I decided to meet them where they were by utilizing social media to provide quick, bite-sized learning opportunities. It wasn't a matter of being smart, it was just being wise.
[10:00] Where did you start?
I believe that people often underestimate themselves, especially women. They sell themselves short and think they're not capable of achieving their dreams. As part of my coaching sessions, which I call "read my brain," I help people take the first step and guide them with my knowledge about different career paths to help them pick the right one. I act as a cheerleader in the background, encouraging them and telling them they can do it. It's amazing to see how capable people are when they believe in themselves. I had a client who was a single parent cleaning hotels for a living, and now she's making over $100,000 a year as a software engineer. The name "the job doctor" comes from my role as a doctor who comes in to help people with their careers.
[11:25] How would you explain your job?
I assist individuals in various aspects of their careers, such as interview preparation and resume building to increase their chances of getting hired. I also provide support to those who are experiencing difficulties at work and help them develop a career strategy for future growth. My approach is practical and focused on actionable steps rather than theoretical concepts, and I offer specific scripts and advice on how to navigate tough conversations and situations at work. Overall, I aim to help people have smoother and more successful careers.
[12:13] Where do you think the wealth of that knowledge came from to be able to teach it?
Having worked in the HR field for many years, I have seen a wide range of situations and challenges that companies face when it comes to managing their employees. I have had to deal with everything from minor performance issues to serious ethical violations, and I have seen firsthand how these situations can impact the company as a whole. One of the things that set me apart as a consultant is my ability to draw on this vast experience and use it to help my clients navigate these issues. I can provide them with insights into how companies typically handle various situations, and I can help them develop strategies for dealing with these situations in a way that minimizes risk and protects their interests. Overall, I believe that my wealth of knowledge and experience allows me to provide valuable guidance to my clients as they seek to navigate the complex world of HR and employment law. Whether they are facing a difficult employee situation or simply looking to improve their overall HR strategy, I am confident that I can help them achieve their goals and succeed in today's competitive business environment.
[16:10] What are some key attributes that contribute to success in a career?
As someone who has observed and been frustrated by the pattern of hiring employees who seemed promising but were let go shortly thereafter, I have developed a system to help individuals progress through the five stages of career growth. By identifying essential skill sets for each stage, individuals can anticipate what is required to succeed in their current role and prepare for the next level. For example, in mid-management, conflict resolution and the ability to have difficult conversations that foster safety are crucial. Unfortunately, some individuals may not develop these traits and their career progress may be hindered. Through my system, individuals can learn how to develop these necessary attributes and enhance their overall career trajectory.
[18:10] What are these five skills?
The first stage is all about following instructions and being a doer. You need to be able to take direction and complete tasks efficiently. In the second stage, you need to learn how to work independently. You'll be given broad guidelines, but it's up to you to figure out how to get things done. This stage is all about developing independence. Once you get to middle management, you need to learn how to work with others. Collaboration is key, and you'll need to be able to build relationships with other departments to achieve your goals. The next stage is all about being a builder. You can't just focus on completing tasks anymore; you need to be able to define strategy and get buy-in from others. This stage is all about developing your sales and communication skills. Finally, in the most senior role, you need to be able to focus on the big picture. You can't just focus on your own department; you need to spend time working with outside boards of directors and exploring new business opportunities.
[20:58] What are some of the things that stand out to you?
Some of the things that stand out to me from the conversation are the importance of understanding the different stages of a career and the necessary skills needed for each stage. It's also crucial to be aware of the environment you're operating in and to have a clear understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses, as well as seek feedback regularly to improve and grow. Additionally, building good partnerships and collaborating with other departments is essential for success in middle management, and having a clear strategy and the ability to pitch and gain buy-in is vital for those in a builder role. Finally, senior leaders must focus on not just their own department but also spend time with outside boards of directors and seek new business opportunities to ensure the success of the company.
[43:17] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I guess the promise was that you'll meet somebody who you'll never have a dull moment around her and she's going to dream big.
Key Quotes
[9:20-9:25] Stop waiting for things to be perfect and do it.
[9:40-9:44] People care less than we think they do.
How to connect with Tessa White
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/JobDoctorTessa
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheJobDoctor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JobDoctorTessa
Tue, 07 Mar 2023 - 45min - 359 - How to Reclaim Your Flow at Work and in Life with Zee Clarke
In today’s episode, our guest is Zee Clarke. She is a Harvard MBA who went from leading teams at Fortune 500 companies and startups in Silicon Valley to teaching mindfulness and breathwork to people of color. Trained in India, Zee leverages her toolkit of yoga, meditation, breathwork, sound healing, and Reiki to ensure that all people of color have the tools to thrive despite any challenges that race, gender, or sexuality might present.
[2:55] Why should I listen to you?
If you’re a black person, you should listen to me because I can share with you tools that can help you deal with racism and racial profiling and also help your mental health. But if you’re an ally or aspiring ally, you should listen to me for education about the reality of the experiences of people who look like me in this country.
[4:56] When did this torch become something you wanted to carry?
So I grew up in Washington, DC, also known as the "murder capital" of America. I grew up in a low-income, predominantly black neighborhood, and I went to a fancy private school in the suburbs of Washington, DC, where I was the only black person in a school filled with rich white people. So the first time that I experienced this feeling of, "Do I belong here?" I'm not good enough. What is happening, why is nobody speaking to me, and why are people treating me differently? That was the first day of school when I was eight years old. I share this with you to say that this feeling continued throughout my education. I went to Harvard Business School. I worked in financial services early in my career, and then after business school, I went to the Bay Area, where I worked in Silicon Valley in tech. And so during that entire time of my corporate career, I would be the only woman in the room, sometimes in tech. My mental health was in the gutter. I wasn't eating, and my doctors were like, "Something's got to change your stress levels; they're causing your current state of being," so I quit and I went to India. I joke that I did the black girl version of Eat, Pray, Love because I was meditating. I'm doing yoga, and I've never felt so good in my entire life. I did not know that this was possible. And so I felt very passionately that I needed to share these tools with others, particularly black people and people of color because we have higher rates of high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and all sorts of other things that now medical research is showing are a direct result of racism and microaggressions.
[8:00] How would you define microaggression?
A microaggression is a comment or action that unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude towards a member of a marginalized group. It can also be when people question your competence, when you don’t feel seen or heard, or when they mistake you for somebody that looks nothing like you. There is a long list, but in short, we are being treated differently because of what we look like.
[9:45] Where do you think this came from?
I think it's a lack of empathy. A lot of people who commit microaggressions might have good intentions, and that is why the definition means "unconsciously" or "unintentionally." They might have good intentions, but the impact is usually negative. Some of these things come from parents, too. When you hear your parents speak negatively about a certain group of people, you think they are right, but the truth is they also learned it from their parents.
[11:56] What do you think should be the first thing we think about when these things happen to us and when we choose to respond to them?
Well, my book is called Black People Breathe because breathing is very critical to regulating our nervous system. When these things happen, we get triggered, and that is when our systematic nervous system kicks in, and when that happens, your heart rate tends to go up. You might start sweating, you might clench up, your shoulders might come up, and all of that kind of just depends on how your body reacts to that. But that is the sympathetic nervous system kicking in, and when that happens, we aren't rational people, and we might say or do things that come from an emotionally charged place, which could hurt your job. So my recommendation is that when you are triggered, be intentional about breathing so that you can regulate your nervous system.
[16:35] What are the things someone can do when stuff like this happens?
I think what happens is that when you breathe, you can speak from a more calm and rational place. Nelson Mandela has a quote that states that “resentment is like drinking poison and hoping for your enemy to die." When somebody says something offensive, take a breath and ask yourself if it’s good for your mental health. Sometimes I’m not okay, but for my mental health, I choose not to engage. I get that sometimes you might want to educate others, but it will be preferable if you don’t. You get to sleep better because you didn’t get to fight someone at work.
[22:00] Can you dive deeper into your book?
Every chapter of the book is focused on a particular issue that black people face in America, and I shared this in the context of personal stories that have happened to me. At the end of every chapter, there are specific mindfulness and breathwork tools that you can use when it happens to you. So for allies, it’s going to be very educational because you will get a live glimpse of what it is like to be black in America. In the end, there are also practices that you can use when you experience anxiety.
[27:20] When one acquires skills like this, do they have to wait until these moments before utilizing them?
I know that people are just busy. I have so many friends who are like me and can't meditate and so what I'll say is, yes, even just five minutes every morning of doing some deep breathing is beneficial. One of the practices that I love is called "box breathing," which is when you inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and then exhale. As I explain, many people are familiar with it. But just doing a couple of minutes of box breathing every morning can make you sick and can set a solid foundation for your nervous system so that when things happen, you might not be as triggered. However, you know, what I tend to recommend for folks is that they do it when bad things happen. You've got to remember these breathing techniques so that you can figure them out.
[29:38] What was the journey like for you to get into organizations and express the need for this?
In my experience; diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives never felt like they were for me. They prioritize talent acquisition, so external candidate pools are usually larger, so I partner with employee resource groups, which are usually funded by DEI. Our stress levels are off the charts. Some of us want to quit. It's a toxic environment. And so I teach workshops to empower black and brown folks in the workplace to know how to navigate microaggressions. I teach a workshop called mindfulness to heal from microaggressions at work. I teach one on countering impostor syndrome because sometimes we need an extra competence boost, but there are also so many other issues when it comes to being black in the workplace. For example, when managing people as a black manager, you have white people report to you. They may not respond to your leadership and direction in the same way that a white man would, depending on their upbringing. As a result, even if they do not respond to your feedback, for example, in a performance review, the dynamics are different, just like when you have the courage to ask for a promotion. As we already know, there aren't that many of us in leadership positions, and so having the courage to ask for a promotion, a raise, or extra responsibilities can be a lot for a black person in the workplace. So I teach several workshops around self-doubt, performance microaggressions, and dealing with stereotypes.
[44:00] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
To help all black people and all people of color feel good so that we can be our best selves in this world.
Key Quotes
[34:38-34:40] Do not work harder, but smarter.
[35:50-35:53] Do what matters to the people that matter.
[41:42-41:46] Mindfulness is paying attention in the present moment without judgment.
How to connect with Zee Clarke
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zeeclarkebreathes/?hl=en
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/zhalisa-zee-clarke
Website: http://www.zeeclarke.com/
Tue, 28 Feb 2023 - 46min - 358 - How Teams Can Leverage Systems and Tools to Stop Drowning in Work with Nick Sonnenberg
In today’s episode, our guest is Nick Sonnenberg. He is an entrepreneur, Inc. columnist, and guest lecturer at Columbia University. He is also the author of "Come Up for Air: How Teams Can Leverage Systems and Tools to Stop Drowning in Work." He is the founder and CEO of Leverage, a leading operational efficiency consultancy that helps companies implement his CPR® Business Efficiency Framework.
[2:27] Why should I listen to you?
You’d listen to me because the stuff that I’m interested in is the most valuable thing that anyone could give someone, which is the gift of time.
[3:55] Can you walk us through your journey?
I called my book "Come Up for Air" because the first thing I hear people say is that they're drowning in work, especially in recent years. I’ve been drowning in work for a long time, so everything I talk about is not from theory but from what I have experienced as a person. I know the pain of growing a company and working 100 hours a week; before then, I worked as a high-frequency trader on Wall Street, where I worked my ass off too. But one thing I've done exceptionally well is training myself. I know what drowning in work feels like, so my company does operational efficiency consulting and training for teams and other companies. We brainstorm with the team and come up with a new technology. It could be a new way to use that technology and it could have nothing to do with it but for me, time is the most precious resource and it’s so easy to fall into the trap of doing things the same way in an inefficient manner because you are used to it.
[6:20] How did you balance that?
I've always been passionate about time. As a high-frequency trader, I build algorithms for computers to trade stocks at micro and nanosecond speeds. I gained an appreciation for the value of time because a microsecond could mean a million. I decided to leave finance after 8 years, and I developed a freelancer marketplace where we do tasks and projects for people under the umbrella of giving back time. In the first year, we grew to 7-figure revenue with 150 team members fully remote. It sounds good, but under the hood, we had three-quarters of a million dollars in debt and almost half a million in losses. I was close to bankruptcy, but I decided not to because I knew where we were. I had a game plan on how to fix it. I stuck to it and things started turning around. After a while, I decided to pivot that company from a freelancer marketplace to leveraging operational efficiency, consulting, and training, which is the core of my book. I was able to do that because I know what it feels like to be drowning.
[11:45] How does somebody build into releasing?
I think part of it is a systems issue and a people's issue. Trust comes in different levels. You can trust someone on an ethical level but not on another, and that causes a lot of friction and anxiety. You have to be aware of the lack of trust coming from an ethical issue, a competence issue, a poor process, or a system issue. But documenting the right way to do something is a great way to kind of lessen the stress. They are not going to do it the same way you do, but as long as you’ve built some kind of process and SOPs, they will get it right. Some things are harder to outsource to others, but you can probably get rid of 80% of your plate. Just invest your time in documenting things the way you want them done.
[16:10] How does one decide whether to keep tasks in a submission on the board or off the board?
I think anything that gives you joy or taps into your unique ability should be kept, and anything outside of that ain't a good candidate. I think there's a famous Ink magazine article about Mark Cuban, who likes doing his laundry. Now, his hourly rate is much higher than whatever it would cost to outsource. But if it gives you joy, then you’re not touching that. One of your unique abilities can also be hosting a podcast, and that's a really good use of your time. However, there may be other things about the podcast that you don’t feel great about, like editing, and you can So that's the way I like to think about those things. So it’s like buying back your time.
[18:10] Do you think people can expand beyond their points?
I think that if you get more breathing room and free up time, you can be very efficient. Sometimes you're so constrained because you're just so inefficient. You're on a scavenger hunt looking for stuff, and you're working 60–80 hours a week, and you know, that affects the quality of your work. It affects your mood. So, if you can make work easier, do better work, take on more new projects, and be a better business partner, employee, spouse, and so on.
[19:45] What are some things that you've seen people practice throughout the last few years and does your book provide a solution?
I think that there are some personal preferences with some of the individual productivity stuff. I think that there's probably something in general with time blocking. However, I think that it will help if you can wake up early and also have a good morning routine. Another thing is a lot of people talk about saving time, but optimizing time is very important. It's not just about saving time but optimizing time. Also, the underlying principle of my book is based on how you can create systems and processes to optimize and retrieve whatever you need to find as fast as possible.
[25:20] How do you get your team organized in a way that gets the work done faster and more efficiently?
This has got to be part of your culture. Don't try to fix everything all at once. Different parts of your business have different amounts of return on time as we were talking about before. So it might be teaching everyone how to use email properly and teaching them how to get to Inbox Zero. So just prioritize it so that you do one thing at a time and start seeing the benefit. Get a little breathing room and reinvest so that you can free up space for the next thing. Take as much of that breathing room as you can so that you're not necessarily telling people to work fewer hours, but do it and clean up the next thing.
[28:20] Does the book give someone an insight into where they can get started?
So every business is different, and what I can tell you from my experience is that 80–90% of people start by learning how to use email properly. The benefit of knowing how to use Slack, Microsoft Teams, and Asana is super important, but it takes a little bit more effort to roll these out because it requires everyone to adopt them simultaneously and be involved. Everyone uses Gmail or Outlook, and it's one of the most misused tools out there. I talked about that in my book. The book took me four years to write. I was running a company, but I spent a lot of time on it. I can guarantee you that if you just follow the book, you'll be saving a lot of hours. Also on the website “Come up for air.com," you can get another 50 to 100 pages of additional content. You also get checklists, calculators, and PDFs as bonus resources in case you want to go deeper.
[31:35] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
The world will be a more efficient place after I'm gone.
Key Quotes
[15:00-15:03] It’s not about the time spent but it’s about the time invested.
[21:57-22:00] Don't just save time, optimize it.
How to connect with Nick Sonnenberg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicholassonnenberg/?hl=en
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/NicholasSonnenbergLeverage/
Website: https://www.inc.com/author/nicholas-sonnenberg
Tue, 21 Feb 2023 - 32min - 357 - How to Deliver Happiness with Jenn Lim
In today’s episode, our guest is Jenn Lim. She is a global workplace expert, bestselling author, speaker, executive coach, and the CEO and co-founder of Delivering Happiness [DH], a company that grows purpose-driven organizations with more profitable and sustainable approaches to business. Jenn launched two bestselling books—Delivering Happiness in 2010 and authored Beyond Happiness: How Authentic Leaders Prioritize Purpose and People for Growth and Impact.
[3:40] Why should I listen to you?
I just love real talk. I simply prefer to dive in sooner than most people, and I enjoy getting to know people on a personal level. So the only way I think I can do that is by expressing myself from the core. We had meaningful conversations where I learned a lot of things. I learned more about how to implement sustainable scientific happiness in my company.
[5:28] Where did that pop out for you?
I think multiple levels, but the most important is my inner circle. We had to sit and talk to ourselves; some saw this as a good thing, while others saw it as a bad thing. We had conversations about setting the right priorities, doing the right thing, and lots more.
[8:48] Can you break down the birth of this idea?
I launched a book with Tony Shea, the late CEO of zappos.com in 2010 and the book was titled delivering happiness. We didn't have an idea about how well it did and realized there was a demand for happiness in the world. Tony co-founded a company called delivering happiness and the purpose was to help other organizations focus on how to create happy environments for the staff and customers. If there is happiness in an organization, you’ll have a more sustainable profitable business. At the end of 2020, I lost my co-founder and one of my best buds. It's not just about sharing all these stories but how we made all these organizations happier, more productive, and more profitable. Right now, it's more than just happiness but reinforcing the perception of happiness.
[12:35] Do you mind sharing some of your lows?
There was a time I lost my job, lost my title, lost my status, 911 happened and in that same year, my dad got diagnosed with stage three colon cancer. I eventually lost my dad and that shaped me into figuring out what is meaningful to me and I found out that it's a misalignment of values. So I shifted from money to the values that are dear and near to me. I had meaningful relationships that got me into the place of exploring. It wasn’t even happiness at that time but how to ground and stabilize ourselves in a world that is uncertain and unpredictable.
[15:15] What do you recommend for people who are currently going through their darkest and low moments?
When Tony died, the book was already due, but luckily the publisher gave me a little bit more time. But during that time, I was too weak to do anything. I was at my lowest and depressed. When you talk to people about it, they try to cheer you up and recommend some quotes that will help you, but that does not really help. What really helps is picking up a mirror, looking inward, and seeing what you’ve done in the past when you were at your lowest. Reflect on how you got through those times. So processing and reflecting on your own abilities helps you get your resilience back.
[20:25] How would you define happiness, and then go beyond it?
We kind of base happiness on scientific research and data, and we try to bring academics into real life. What we’ve learned from that is that there are different types of happiness, including pleasure and all those things related to it. However, the most sustainable form of happiness is purpose. We hear that all the time, so it's basically being part of something bigger than yourself. From a scientific standpoint, there are various ways to increase internal happiness, such as having a sense of autonomy and development. So if you are thinking of what you may do, have more control, more progress, more connections, or enhance that sense of greater purpose.
[23:12] In your journey, did you find something that can also lead to happiness?
When I completed the book, it was a moment of pride. I was able to complete it in an honorable way, which is like an achievement, and that is a natural part of what we want to do as human beings. It's just good to look at what you’ve accomplished and be proud of yourself.
[31:03] What has the work turned into over time?
We are still helping organizations, companies, governments, and hospitals around the world implement change. One of the silver liners is that we can now embed conversations about mental health. The last few years have deepened the stuff that we’ve done so that people understand that it's not just rainbows and unicorns. People want to show up as themselves. Authenticity is the number one happiness and then we feel that sense of progress and purpose and how we can do that on a day-to-day basis. A lot of people are obsessed with leaving a legacy, and to me, that’s not what it's all about. It's living the legacy today instead of thinking about what you’re going to leave behind.
[36:30] What are you passionate about now?
The last three years have been pretty much about getting better. Right now, we are looking at the outlook. There have been talks of an impending recession, and there will be some unexpected events this year. But what I think is cool about this particular time is that people are more ready and open than ever to being curious, courageous, and creative about themselves. Humanity is more ready than ever to receive something more than usual. We are ready to receive ourselves and each other.
[41:50] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I will have the opportunity and the choice to show up and be who I was born to be.
Key Quotes
[30:40-30:43] The more you exude yourself, the more growth within yourself
[42:35-42:40] The greatest gift you can have is to have a deeper understanding of yourself as God our Creator meant it.
How to connect with Jenn Lim
Website: https://www.deliveringhappiness.com/jenn-lim
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/byjennlim/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/byJennLim/
Tue, 14 Feb 2023 - 45min - 356 - How to Build an Amazing Relationship with Jamie Bronstein
In today's episode, our guest is Jamie Bronstein. She is a relationship therapist, coach, host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio, wife, and mama. She was also named the #1 relationship coach transforming lives in 2020 by YahooFinance. For the past 20 years, Jaime has guided people from around the world as they navigate the peaks and troughs of dating and relationships.
[2:50] Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because I have a lot of value to offer and I can change your life. I can also expand on it if you want to know how and why I can change your life.
[3:42] Can you take us back to where you navigated through life?
I've been a psychotherapist for 20 years. I also have the fact that I didn’t meet my husband until I was 34 years old. Being "in the field," as I call it, entails a lot of dating experience. So I had to go through trial and error until I met my husband, and I’ve also been on a spiritual journey, so I have a certificate in spiritual psychology. Putting all of this together—my own experience, hearing my client's stories, and just practicing,I feel that, as well as my spiritual stuff, is genuinely life-changing.
[5:12] How did you drive into the realm of spirituality after psychology?
I have an undergraduate degree in psychology and a master’s in social work. I’m a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), and I got 3000 hours before I was even a licensed clinical social worker and did clinical work for years. All of a sudden, I discovered spirituality. I thought I was going to start a school or some kind of movement in psychology and spirituality as I went along on my spiritual journey. Then, I found something called the University of Santa Monica, which is a spiritual psychology program. I was drawn to spirituality, and some of the reasons were because it helped me not suffer anymore. It helps you learn how to rise above and see life through a different lens of perception.
[7:30] In your opinion, what is love?
Love is first a feeling and intuition and until you've experienced it, people settle. So I always try to inspire people to not ever settle for less. True love sounds cheesy, but true, authentic, deep connection, and romantic with your soul mates. Your birthright to have this kind of love does exist, and until you experience it, it's hard to explain. But the only way to explain it is that it is a feeling that feels like home.
[9:38] How do all these pieces of stuff come together?
I would say one of the main reasons why I wrote my book is to inspire people. It is to let people know that it is their birthright to love and what my book helps you do is to figure out what is that missing piece between you and finding that love. There's unconditionally loving yourself. There's believing it's going to actually happen. It's getting very clear on what you are manifesting. As humans, we're always manifesting and if you aren't manifesting love you're manifesting something and you may not like that thing you're manifesting.
[11:30] What does manifestation mean to you and how is it showing up in people’s lives currently?
The truth is you're not only just manifesting love. You are manifesting positive and negative things. So I mentioned that unconditional Self Love is a really important part of manifesting anything and. It all starts with the fact that our outside experiences are a reflection of our inner reality. We're constantly manifesting people in our lives that have a reflection of what's going on inside of us. So I help people to resolve their unresolved issues, to heal those unresolved issues and negative limiting beliefs.
Sometimes, our negative consciousness makes us believe that we are not good enough and we don't deserve love. People go through this a lot and that is why I decide to bring the truth to them. What is the truth? The truth is you are worthy of love, you're capable of love. People indeed have trust issues, and it doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. It takes practice. It is a practice and that's how I would define how we are always manifesting even when we're not even trying to.
[14:10] What's the first step for manifestation to take place?
You have to admit there's a problem first and it takes awareness. So first you need to realize there is a problem and then you start getting aware of these negative thoughts. Some people claim to be fearless and void of negative thoughts. That's not true because we are humans. We have a human reign and a mind. What matters is what you choose to do with those thoughts and feelings. So the thought comes in, is this true? This is not true. This is just my ego trying to keep me safe. It's Fear-based. It's not the truth. Right at that moment, what is the truth? So it's catching it and like I said, it is a practice.
[16:15] How does somebody face the negativity phase of life?
I always say that life happens for us, not to us. If you look at things in that way, then you know that everything that happens in life is an opportunity for growing and learning and getting closer to yourself. Ask yourself questions like: Why did this happen? What is my soul seeking? For me to learn from this? And then you take it to the next step of what am I going to do about it? Am I going to change the narrative? Am I going to stay in victim mode? I know that the universe gives us what we focus on so if we're focused on identifying as a victim, you will be a victim. You have to make a choice. It’s like saying I’m going to do this work and it is not easy. You’re saying it's hard at the beginning but the moment you try, it becomes easier.
[24:50] How do you utilize your intuition?
So here's the thing. Intuition is the most important part of life. Intuition to me is being in your integrity and being connected with yourself. We’re all born with intuition but on just a very simple level. Everybody can work on strengthening their intuitive muscles. When you are manifesting love, you want to trust yourself. You want to trust that first feeling that you have that guts. Five times it is a physical feeling. Some people feel it, they get the chills, and some people feel it in their bellies. Some ask their best friends to figure out how they are truly feeling. Because what I would do might be different than what you would do. But what matters is loving yourself first before you are in a relationship.
[27:40] What is the difference between fear and intuition?
There are two things in life and it is either fear or love. There is the fearful choice and there is the loving choice.
[31:05] How do we introduce intuition into relationships?
In a relationship, it's really important to know the difference between a compromise and a sacrifice. A sacrifice is when you are out of your intuition or your integrity. So when you do something that does not feel aligned with your morals or values, you are out of your integrity. That's the relationship you don't want to be in or you just need to work on this with whoever you're with and verbalize it. If it happens that there's a lot of fear in your relationship, then I would say life is short and that's probably not your person.
[44:32] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That I will bring more love to this world and inspire people to know that true love exists. I will also bring joy, love, peace, and less suffering to the world in this lifetime.
Keynotes
[19:35-19:38] You can't change what happened to you but you can change what you are going to do.
[21:10-21:12] You can't give out what you don't have inside you.
How to connect with Jamie Bronstein
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therelationshipxpert/?hl=en
Website: https://therelationshipexpert.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/theluvexpert
Tue, 07 Feb 2023 - 47min - 355 - How to Equip Yourself to And Others to Achieve Success and Make an Impact with Fran Maier
In today's episode, our guest is Fran Maier. She is a serial entrepreneur, investor, and fundraiser responsible for five successful business ventures. She's also a former co-founder of Match.com and the founder of a new company called Baby Quip. She has gone through a journey of world-changing businesses, so if you want to create a great business idea and do things differently, this episode is for you.
[2:05] Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because I am a fun conversationalist, I’d probably ask you what you’re up to and eventually get around to introducing myself as the CEO of Baby Quip and the services we render as a startup business.
[3:10] If you were to break down baby quip in its basics, what would it be?
Baby Quip is the largest baby gear rental and delivery service in the United States, Canada, Mexico, and Australia. We are the Airbnb of baby care, and we have over 1400 people (mostly moms) who own baby gear, and they are the ones who deliver it to families who are traveling to their local area. This isn’t moms renting their extra cribs, strollers, or seats. Most of these moms are building a real inventory of strollers, car seats, cribs, toys, baby monitors, and all kinds of other things. Because of the bombs, they get a lot of gratification from serving other families who are trying to have a good vacation. Baby quip is the one who connects the parents to the providers and parents can choose among providers their destination.
[5:22] How long has Baby Quip been around?
We launched it in May 2016. I finished my fourth startup sometime in 2012, and between 2012 and 2016, I got on the Airbnb craze, so I bought a house in San Francisco and was renting rooms on the top floor of my house. Afterward, I went to Santa Fe, where my mom was at the time, bought a couple of vacation rentals there, and started to think about how travel is changing. I didn't have a 9 to 5 job; instead, I was running properties and had a gig job. Then, I met somebody in Santa Fe who was doing the baby rental business, and we connected and joined forces in May. We launched pretty much immediately on the first platform. Almost seven years later, we survived the pandemic on Shark Tank on March 6, 2020. We were expecting our business to just take off, and then the pandemic came, but we are still standing and stronger than ever.
[7:00] What was the aww shift moment?
I had already been an Airbnb host, and I knew I did not want to store, clean, or provide the range that I saw families traveling with. I had a few families bring babies, and there was no way I wanted to do this. So when I saw this idea of baby gear rentals, the first thing I tried to find out was if anybody was into the business, and all I found were some small regional players. So I saw that nobody had the intention to build a national brand. When I saw the ideal vision for baby quip, I knew we needed to create trust because we are dealing with kids and babies. I also looked into liability insurance. Every piece of inventory was aimed at the baby. It also requires us to get background checks on all the quality providers, and we have a whole lot of things that we call trust and safety that give our providers, customers, and parents a piece of mind. We train our quality providers on cleanliness, safety, hospitality, and social media. That’s how we’ve done it, and we are still the only national brand that is sold to babies all over the world.
[12:39] How would you navigate the next few steps to getting a life?
I think it’s surprising that many people don’t necessarily go through the steps. One is what problem you’re solving or trying to solve. Then, who is your target market? You need to understand to whom you’re selling this solution. You’ve got to refine it. Okay, there is a target, there is a problem. What is one aspect of the solution? What are the unique benefits that you can bring? Of course, you have to think about how you’re going to reach those people, and that is daunting because it takes years. It takes time. Your audience must see your content over and over again.
[16:06] What are some of the hidden pitfalls that we don’t see?
Let’s face it, the pandemic trumps all. When we were declining and also refunding orders in March and April of 2020, it was super painful. I wasn’t sure we were going to make it, but fortunately, I had raised some money, and then we got government money, which I’ve never had in my entire life. I think getting the insurance was a big lift, and not only was it a big lift to qualify, but the premiums are super expensive. Now that we are expanding, not every place is like the United States. For example, we recently expanded it to Australia. It’s a fairly well-to-do country, and middle-class moms can afford to buy baby gear, but Mexico has a different demographic. So, we are looking at some of these challenges when moving into a new market.
[18:10] Do you choose the right ideas yourself or do you bring other people in whenever you have these sticking points?
I deal with a lot of them on my own, but I have a good team, and we talk through things. I also have some legal financial advisors that always help a little more.
[20:10] How did you enroll people in your brand’s idea and vision?
We spend a lot of time on brands and culture. One of the things I probably should have mentioned earlier is that my brand name at the beginning was Baby Eres, but I could never get my mother to pronounce it correctly, and the spelling was really hard. We started working on the brand, which has values about putting family first and helping people enjoy their journey, and those kinds of things make a difference as well. Every year, we take a look at our business and brand and the feedback we’ve been getting. We might refine our brand values in our brand voice, but so far it has helped pretty steadily.
[26:50] How easy is it for someone to start this as a business?
It takes a little bit because we require everybody to get through the training. They could also go to babyquip.com and find the link to become a quality provider. We outline all the different steps; there are somepieces of training, and we do personal interviews to see if people are a good fit. We charge 200 bucks to get on the platform, and we train them on how to upload gear. One of the things we do mostly in the US is they could even put on the platform that they have the gear that they don’t have yet and if they get an order, we pay them and they could buy the gear and be ready for reservation.
[32:24] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I will make some impact, and I feel like I’m on that path already.
Key Quotes
[11:02-11:06] What holds many people from being an entrepreneur is that they think about the objections ahead and it scares them off.
[14:41-14:44] In a marketplace business, you must consider the supply.
How to connect with Fran Maier
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/franmaier/?hl=en
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/BabyQuip/posts/
Twitter - https://twitter.com/franmaierhttps://twitter.com/franmaier
Website: https://www.babyquip.com/team
https://www.adammendler.com/blog/fran-maier
Tue, 31 Jan 2023 - 34min - 354 - Living an impactful life after the NFL with Lorenzo Alexander
In today’s episode, our guest is Lorenzo Alexander. He is a former American football linebacker who played in the NFL for 15 seasons playing the majority with the Washington Redskins. He played college football for the University of California and was signed as an undrafted free agent by the Carolina Panthers in 2005.
[4:25] What are the things you’ve found beneficial to your life as an athlete that you wish non-athletes would experience?
Sports are like simulated adversity that you experience every day. You either have success or failure and then you find out how you can grow in those moments. How do you get better? How do you become a better version of yourself? Human nature is to be in a place of comfort. We all want to find an easy flow. But we really don’t grow in that because the human condition is also to be complacent in many ways, and if you’re not pushed or challenged, you kind of just stay the same and let people pass you by.
So, I wish more people would play sports, engage, and get into a space that is going to stimulate adversity that they can learn from and then apply to who they are and the people that they impact on that day based on agreement.
[7:25] What’s the easiest, stress-free path to something?
I think we have the same mental health issues when it comes to sports and culture in general. We have the perspective that men don’t cry, and we shouldn’t tell our sons that we love them. But I think there needs to be a little bit of balance. We should be able to acknowledge our feelings and build mental toughness. There are a lot of different things out there that you can do to create balance in your life. But we are different, and that is why you have to know the loudest voices that you hear often. To be effective, we must strike a balance somewhere in the middle. If you are always in a state of crisis and you just try to chill out, beat yourself up, and not practice self-care, you are not doing anything. So building the skill set that you need in that space is really important.
[12:30] Can you walk us through the experience you had as a kid that led you to this point?
I went to St. Mary’s High School, did well in school, was one of the top players in the country, and eventually decided to go to Cal Berkeley. So one of the things my parents and uncle always instilled in me was having a plan B. I was taught that I could do multiple things at the same time. I always had my identity because I was a good student. I was a good football player who was ready to serve, and they created this structure for me that I was just participating in. I didn’t quite understand it at the time, but when I look back at it, I realize why I am here today. I’m passionate about certain things because of the individuals that I've had in my life. Much of the work done, primarily by my uncle Steve and mother, benefited me greatly.
My uncle had a family of his own and was married, but he still found time to sacrifice and serve not only his family but also to ensure that I had the structure I needed in addition to what my mother provided. I have people who are more talented than I am but didn’t have the structure and support that I had, so they ended up taking different routes. I had a great example of what that was supposed to look like and followed it as closely as I could.
[25:10] Can you share with people your day-to-day activities and where you see yourself in the next three to five years?
Well, the big thing, as you just mentioned, was finishing up my Master’s program at Grand Canyon University. One of the things that I was also blessed to learn was psychology, with an emphasis on life coaching. I was taught a growth mindset, and this is not something that I learned in grad school from an academic perspective, but something that I heard from Sean McDermott and how he applied it to football.
Everybody, I think, is inherently given certain skills and is gifted at certain levels, and we can be intentional about cultivating those within us as well. There is something that I have started doing over the last couple of years, and people know it as Exco, a training facility. Guys, former players, current players, and future NFL players go and train with some of the best in the business, and it’s a big-time company that does a really good job.
They have one here in Phoenix, and I work with the linebackers every year. I'm always concerned with preparing you for life. We talk about football stuff and how you need to navigate the business, but at the end of the day, I want you to tackle these things and apply them to life because if you are a better man, you will be a better husband, father, and other things.
[30:58] What has driven you to dive back in at this emotional expenditure level?
Living in Paradise Valley is probably the most Ranchi. I see myself in these young men, my sons and daughters, who are obviously black in America. I see myself in these people and all the trauma that a lot of people have to endure, no matter where they come from, how they grew up with poor parents, and so on. I grew up with friends dying, so I had my uncle step into that space and create the best safe environment. He made sure I didn’t turn out like one of my cousins, who is smarter and more gifted than me but ended up in prison for 10 years for catching a case. My cousin and I were tight; he was like my big brother in a lot of ways I never had, and I don’t want to see anybody become that or not reach their full potential.
So I think that is what drives me a lot of times. I want to be impacted so that I can help others become the best versions of themselves. I know how impactful that can be and what that means to the people that you come in contact with.
[33:30] How do you balance all these things while being a father and a husband?
I think building boundaries is one of the main things. When I started my career, I didn’t do that. I was a rookie when I got married, and I was used to doing things a certain way as far as getting ready for the season. So, I had a selfish mindset. I went out to California for like three weeks to train with my pregnant wife back in Virginia, and that is the stupidest thing you can ever do, right? I had people who had successfully built 25 years of marriage talk to me and give me advice. So keeping myself in a safe space allows me to be present and also not overwhelm me, and I have to be reminded from time to time because I am passionate about serving and helping. But I think creating that infrastructure for myself has been key. I make sure that I put my wife and kids first, which is always the case, but I've always had to deal with that selflessness and be intentional about it.
[36:45] Do you ever have the thought of your kids playing at the level you played?
I find it hard to allow them to see what I did for a living. The work that I put in was what it provided for them. I retired three years ago, and my daughter is now 14 years old, and my son is a grown-up too. My son has memories of football, and I would be cruel to say no if he ever showed any interest in it. I know it's dangerous, but a lot of things that we do are dangerous, and my job is to make sure that we do them in the safest way possible. My wife and I had discussed it before, and I will let him play once he gets to high school.
[42:10] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
Serve in love with all my heart.
Key Quotes
[12:20-12:24] Once you're done with the game, that game is done with you.
[23:24-23:27] As humans, we sometimes give enough to feel compelled.
How to connect with Lorenzo Alexander
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lorenzo_john/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ACESFoudation/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/onemangang97
Tue, 24 Jan 2023 - 44min - 353 - The Power Of Potential with Tom D’Eri
In today’s episode, our guest is Thomas D'Eri. He is an expert in autism employment through his experience as the founder and COO of Rising Tide Car Wash, a social enterprise that employs more than 80 individuals with autism.
He is also a recognized thought leader in the autism employment field and a 2019 Forbes 30 Under 30 list-maker in social entrepreneurship. Tom regularly speaks at Fortune 500 companies, international conferences, leadership development programs, and universities.
[3:16] Why should I listen to you?
I have the type of personality that is looking to learn much more than to tell people what to do. And if I were to talk to you in a coffee shop, I can promise you that I’d be asking many more questions than speaking.
[4:45] Where did you develop the desire to be curious about other people?
A lot of experiences come to mind, but the one that comes to mind most frequently is my experience with my brother, Andrew. Andrew has autism, and that is why we founded our business, Rising Tide Car Wash. Growing up with him and getting to know other people, I learned that people have all different types of struggles that you may not see on the surface. I think that has always been interesting to me, and it has also made me empathetic.
[7:20] Tell me how the carwash came to be.
My father, John Dre, and I founded the business in 2013. At this point, Andrew was turning 22. And at that point, in the autism community that means you are kind of out of the school district, out of the support system that you have through your childhood. We knew we had to act for a couple of years, but before then we had been doing research and testing different ideas to see what would work best for Andrew and what we felt could be a viable business, and we settled on a car wash. We opened our first location in Parkland, Florida, in the year 2013. It was an old kind of struggling car wash, we renovated it and we put it in our brand and our concept. When we bought it, it washed about 35,000 cars a year, and now it’s washing over 170,000 cars a year. Because of the progress, we were also able to build two more.
[9:20] Can you share how that kind of system operates and functions?
We take the approach that our employees with autism are extreme users of organizational systems. So they have the same needs as everyone else. They’re just more parents, and by designing for and with them, we’ve learned how to build more systems that are clear, streamlined, more inclusive, and that work better for everybody. So instead of letting go of employees, we take the approach of designing a system that they’re chafing up against in a way that works for them. Typically, we end up with a more innovative, better process that works better for everyone. Not every way works perfectly, but this approach works well for us.
[11:06] What are some of the challenges you faced in getting this off the ground?
When we were doing our research, there were not a lot of examples of non-profit businesses that designed and employed people with autism as most of their staff. Some nonprofit organizations have had some success but nothing we were trying to do was a consumer-facing business. We talked to a lot of experts and they told us it wasn’t going to work. My dad had been an entrepreneur before then and he was like, we will go into it and test it. We’ll take feedback but we will try and see if it’s going to work or not. I spent so much time figuring out how we will employ people with autism, how to train them, empower them and make them great employees.
[14:23] How do you tweak the system?
About 16% of the autism spectrum has a significant intellectual disability and half of the autism spectrum has no intellectual disability. It’s very wide and that is why we adopted the approach of figuring out who is having the biggest difficulty. So when we find out our team members just can’t do the work, we try to figure out where they are being challenged and we fix it. We also designed a sign that says drive forward, car in neutral that way they find it simple, and directional and that made it easier for our team members to navigate the process.
[18:03] How do you expand the business into multiple locations?
The first thing we do is by figuring out the challenges of a particular team member and we proffer solutions to them. We are also always at one location with only a couple of people to start. We expand it from there to one whole staff and then company-wide if it’s working well.
[20:17] In your own words, what was the inspiration behind you writing a book?
Throughout the business, we have had a couple of "lightning in a bottle" moments where we’ve caught the attention of the media, magazines, and so on. Every time these things hit, we get an outpouring of parents who come to inquire about how we started the business and how they’d love to build something like that too. We can't help all of them individually. So our first inclination was to build entrepreneurship training for these parents. We partnered with the University of Miami and the Taft Foundation to build an online course and workshop around this training, which turned out to be great.
[23:17] Does the book have any idea around that kind of stuff?
Essentially, the book is centered around the idea that four hidden problems hold businesses back from achieving success. The first one is being able to objectively assess talent and hire people based on their actual skills instead of biases, the second is driving clarity through everything that we do; the third is how you build coaching, compassion, and leadership into the organization; and the fourth is how do you design an employee’s experience that works for everyone? And by doing these things, you unlock psychological safety, ethical accountability, and purpose for your entire team.
[29:50] Where should someone start with creating this ease of flow for people?
So picture the person you are most frustrated with on your staff, talk to the staff about it, and fix that particular staff problem. After trying your best and there are no changes, you can decide to let go of that particular person
[35:46] Do you see yourself trying something else besides this?
To be honest, right now, I'm fully invested in the car wash. There are other things that I would love to do but I get a lot of satisfaction from solving operational challenges and as we try to scale this business, there is an unending amount of inspiration.
[39:08] How do you keep the business functioning when there is rain?
Obviously, on days like that, we don't wash a lot of cars. We focus on training and cleaning during days like that. Also, we have a subscription part of the business where people pay a monthly fee and they can come and get their cars washed as many times as they want and that helps to tide us over when the weather isn’t good.
[43:12] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That there would be someone who cares about helping people work through and meet their individual potential.
Key Quotes
[24:38-24:25] People quit their managers, but they don’t tend to quit their jobs.
[26:50-26:55] You have to be able to create different levels when you work with individuals who are harder than an average person.
How to connect with Thomas D’eri
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/risingtidecarwash/
Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/profile/thomas-deri/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/derithom/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RisingTideCarWash
Tue, 10 Jan 2023 - 47min - 352 - How To Make Social Media GOOD For You with Isa Watson
In today’s episode, our guest is Isa Watson. She is an entrepreneur, author, skydiver, and classical pianist. She is the co-founder and CEO of Squad, the fun way to build a world of your closest friends--away from social media. Named top 100 MIT Alumni in Tech in 2021, Isa is a physical scientist turned social scientist, building the next generation's social connection tool.
[3:50] Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because I have a great smile.
[4:38] Do you mind walking me through your human experiences as we progress through your book?
I don't know many, and I didn’t grow up on social media in the same way that a lot of kids today did. I came from a big Caribbean family. I grew up in North Carolina, Chapel Hill. My dad was a computer engineer who migrated to the US, and his mentality was if you can’t build it, then you shouldn’t be using it. From the time I was seven, my dad would buy me the parts of a computer to build them, and that morphed into me loving building things with my hands. I worked in the research labs at UNC Chapel Hill for a chemistry professor starting at 14 years old. I became one of the youngest published chemists in the world at 19 years old. I fell into Wall Street after, but I pivoted to finance via my MBA at MIT. I also started a tech company called SQUAD, and our thesis is that the future of social media is deeper.
[9:05] How can someone relate to the emotions you felt in those moments when you realized that you were a different person online?
It's interesting because it wasn’t just that I liked who I was online; I was a much broader person with broader interests. What happens with the feedback mechanism is that you get feedback online from the people who engage with you. You allow them to narrow the mental model of who you are as a person, and that can be an incongruence. I’m human; I've evolved, and I am not the same person that I was five years ago. But there is some kind of permanence on the internet sometimes that makes people expect that, and for me, it became jarring. I got off all social media for two years because it was something I had to resolve.
[10:50] What do you see about people who try to be someone they are not online?
Another thing that we do is confuse our online friends with our real friends. We assume that the person that is liking our content all the time and consistently gassing us in our DMs is one of our friends when they are not. One of my friends told me that she doesn’t interact with any of her friends on social media, and I think about that too. I rarely interact with my friends on social media, so I don't think it’s a necessity in the way that a lot of people think.
[13:05] What is the name of your social media company or brand? What is the thesis, and what do you see this thing becoming in time?
With Squad, we say that we are the easiest and most fun way to talk to your close friends every day. You can only have up to 12 people in your squad, which reinforces the idea of staying connected. We released a new version, a new take on the phone experience. A lot of our users describe Squad as a corner of their phone where they can go to disarm and just be with the people they want to be with. But the whole idea is that you get a lot more joy from being consistent with a handful of people as opposed to trying to broadcast to a ton of people you’ll never laugh in the same room with.
[17:48] Where did you get the idea from in your internal conversations about creating another solution that the rest of the world could have access to?
After my dad died, I realized that I was in a kind of friendship deficit, and it was because I had underinvested in those relationships. I also think that friendships are active and not passive investments. One of the things I did was rejigger my core friend group, and I started to invest in the handful of people who were bringing me joy, and I felt the most aligned when I did that. I realized that where I was three to four years ago is where a lot of people are right now, and they are experiencing this friendship deficit because they assume that they are grown up. They are spending time with people that they are just rolling with, and so that was when I realized that, and we did a lot of focus group work. We have taken a big research and experimentation approach to build this product. It was something that was filling a need and a gap that is continuing to grow, and I’m personally excited about it.
[20:10] Who do you think SQUAD is meant for?
Our user base is about 60% women and 40% men. The whole concept of friendship is rooted in vulnerability, and so for me to be your friend, you have to see me, and vice versa. I think that we have this concept of masculinity in this country and around the world where there is a kind of conflict with the whole notion of being vulnerable.
[22:00] How did you break the addiction of not going to the mass media and just talking to 12 people?
The interesting thing about it is that you can continue to create content for mass media, but the people who try it and have some elements of success at it also realize how lonely it is. There was this article that I released where I talked about the impact of social media on teenage friendships and the fact that they don’t understand the concept of friendship. So I think that is kind of introducing it to them in a big way that they are actually getting a lot of joy from. I think this is like giving them a feeling that they are enjoying.
[23:30] How did you choose the other 11 for your squad of 12?
For me, it’s like having best friends. They are the people we pin at the top of our text messages. People really get uncomfortable with making choices when they feel like they could potentially hurt somebody’s feelings, but the reality is that we have so much access to people all the time.
[26:35] What are some of the dynamics that people have to navigate when it comes to anchoring and creating real relationships?
There is some hard work that goes into being vulnerable. I struggled with this for years. One of the things I talked about in my book is the fact that we have become excessive validation seekers at the hands of social media, and the thing about validation is that we need it in some way. Friendships don’t just happen; they require big investments, and I think that there are things like vulnerability and understanding that you need in a friendship. I also think that changes over time. I tell people all the time, to take one block of time out of their schedule every week or two weeks, whether it’s like brunch, and fill it with a row of friends.
[36:20] What are your thoughts on the NFL?
I don’t know much about how that works. I don’t know much about it.
[39:48] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
He promised to give the world a little bit more inspiration in your life.
Key Quotes
[30:05-30:07] Friendships require intentionality.
[39:25-39-28] If you don’t use a tool, the tool will use you.
How to connect with Isa Watson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isadwatson/?hl=en
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/isadwatson/with_replies
Website: https://www.isawatson.com/
Tue, 03 Jan 2023 - 42min - 351 - How to Create a Life on Your Terms with Jeff Lerner
In today’s episode, our guest is Jeff Lerner. He is a former jazz musician turned 9-figure entrepreneur passionate about helping people unlock their potential and create their dream lives by believing and developing themselves.
[3:20] Why should I listen to you?
Because I don't want to sell you anything other than what is possible for your life.
[4:10] What do you frame for people regarding what is possible for their lives and their inability to see past the first branch?
Initially, it's about getting calibrated on the voice you are listening to. We’re born without a voice, surrounded by people that have agents. We can wail and make sounds, but we can’t articulate words. We can't form our ideas immediately when we are born, but we are immersed in other people’s ideas. We develop the ability to formulate our ideas and our own vision for our lives but by then, we’re probably on other people’s programs. There is this concept that if you just hold on till you are 65 years old and you do all the things you’re supposed to do, eventually, we will give you a few years where you get to live your own program.
[6:04] How does a person realize they're in this kind of matrix-ish program situation?
I don't think it takes that long. I think that everybody could probably discover a completely different version of themselves within probably 24 hours. Walking alone, you change your life. You just gotta create some stillness. If you look at the world we are living in right now, if there is a decrease in anything, I think it is stillness. Just create some intention in getting to know yourself. Also, reduce the external noise so that your voice can actually be heard.
[8:58] What was your journey?
Before I say anything else, I'd like to encourage anyone tempted to jump to conclusions to at least suspend judgment. I grew up around a fair amount of money, and I'm an only child. My parents worked all day and I just had the house all to myself, reflecting on the prosperity and security I was surrounded by while also developing a relationship with myself. There is a lot more to it than that but what can I say that,out doing too much revisionist or retroactive? I will just for whatever reason by the time I was a teenager, I had decoupled the idea of money and happiness. Those two were not the same for me and I think that alone gave me a different truck in life.
[12:45] Where did the grit come from?
Everybody has got grit but they don't succeed. So I grew up with that orientation. For me, the harsh answer is that grit comes from pain. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Whatever we endure over time can transmute into grit. One of the books I come back to a lot is a book by C.S Lewis called the “Problem of pain” and it talks about why a just God would allow so much pain and suffering in the world. I don’t presume to have that answer on a universal scale but I can say for myself, that I have suffered a lot. I suffered from bullying, weight problems, psychological abuse, and scorn for the choices that I made. I won’t say the world turned against me but I think they quietly rooted for my failure and I could feel that. The Latin word for suffering is patio which is the root of the word passion and I think that for some people, suffering can transition into a passion and drive and it can also break a person. I am fortunate that it went the former way.
[16:18] What was one of the first things that you faced and overcame back then that was the catalyst for the rest of them?
Probably the biggest one happened right around 18. I look back and it was a sort of out-of-body time form. I dropped out of high school around 16 and I was really my former declaration to myself and the world that I am not going to travel the ordinary path. I'm going to go the road less traveled. My very rational idea was to find something to do. Essentially, academic credentials play no part in one’s success and as a dropout, it depends on my performance. I came up with the idea of playing the piano. My parents not only agreed but also bought me the piano to get started. From age 18 to 20, I taught myself everything about music and I got 10 years of college paid for on a music scholarship as a high school dropout who was self-taught the piano for three years. I think from that, I proved to myself that if I bow down and don’t let down, I can do some kinds of stuff and I have to ride on that ever since then.
[20:34] How do we get to the role of what you do now, What were some of the lily pad frog jumps that got you here?
Being a musician, you are at the bottom of the hill that rolls down. Then You learn to fight if you’re ever going to get paid. Being in a band is like being an entrepreneur, where you’re trying to create harmonious energy among a group of people, and there is a much larger group of people called the audience, that you’re inviting into the energy that you as a tight-knit group are creating. That is a small business opening its doors to customers, and you learn about holding tension, managing energy, and keeping people aligned. If you can keep a group of musicians aligned in a way that draws thousands of people in, it’s not that different than building a team in a business. There is another part of it where, as a jazz musician, I essentially had certain constraints that were like tempo, the tune we were playing, the key we were in, and a certain amount of collective problem-solving skill. So the catalyst then was creating a template for entrepreneurship and artistry and showing how they are kind of two sides of the same coin. They just have a different value of opposition, and that was when the seed was planted.
[27:39] What were the first couple of businesses?
I have them written in a book, I list them all and I identified 11 that was significant enough for me to write about. There were 11 failures. I just failed, but it’s like when your currency isn’t money, your currency is freedom. Is it a failure when you try your own thing and it doesn’t work out? If I had been evaluating it through the traditional worldly lens, I probably would have quit. I tried being an estate investor; I tried promoting raves; I opened a sandwich shop. I had a bunch of different businesses; I was entrepreneurial, and I just didn't stop.
[30:16] What was the turning point that got you to the point where you got to a position financially where you are doing great and also helping other people?
The thing is, every time I start a business, I'm Convinced that it's the one. Let’s say business number 11 which I was convinced was this franchise restaurant. I took on about $600,000 in debt to get those off the ground. The point is, I was screwed. My wife got fed up with me. I got evicted from my apartment, and I ended up living at my wife’s parent's house. I will tell you that the great vexation of my life is that I can’t figure out how to get people to shift without them having to suffer so much. I bottomed out, and I was up in the middle of the night looking at my computer and how to make money on the internet. I started teaching myself digital marketing, and I realized that I had an internal confidence that was organized around sitting at a keyboard. I learned digital marketing, and in 18 months, I paid off half a million dollars in debt.
[35:23] Share with people what it is in your words that you do now.
In 2009, I started figuring out this digital marketing thing online. Attending events, meeting the right mentors, meeting people who had traveled the less privileged path—all of these things helped me see ordinary people who had done what I was trying to do. had what I had been seeking, which was freedom. In 2012, I started a digital agency and started selling my digital skills to small and medium-sized enterprises all around the country. In six years, that agency was able to reach over 11,000 small and medium-sized entrepreneurs. In the last two years, I also started a side business that was a direct sales business that was driven online through software and a network of affiliates, and I did well. In 2018, I sold the agency, and at that point, I had had three consecutive 8-figure businesses that were all powered by the internet to some degree. After that, I looked around at all the people around me who, whether or not they have more money than I do, do not have nearly the quality of life that I do. They do not own their time, and I started putting out videos on how to be of help.
[47:00] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
When God gave me to the world, I think what he said was that I would be a case study of someone who transmutes hardship into service. Bear in mind that I'm not saying that as an absolute description of myself because that would be arrogant. I am stating that as a standard that I strive for every day.
Key Quotes
[10:25-10:30] Most people think that there’s a certain financial situation that will result in happiness.
[29:33-29:37] You can fail 70% of the time and still make the Hall of Fame.
How to connect with Jeff Lerner
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jefflernerofficial/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jefflernerofficial/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thejefflerner?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
Tue, 27 Dec 2022 - 49min - 350 - How to Create and Achieve Your Goals with Jon Acuff
How to Create and Achieve Your Goals with Jon Acuff
In today’s episode, our guest is Jon Acuff. He is the New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including his most recent, Soundtracks, The Surprising Solution To Overthinking. For over 20 years, he’s also helped some of the biggest brands tell their story, including The Home Depot, Bose, and Staples. His fresh perspective on life has allowed him to write for Reader’s Digest, Fast Company, The Harvard Business Review, and Time Magazine. He lives outside Nashville, TN, with his wife Jenny and two teenage daughters.
[3:57] Why should I listen to you?
I think you should listen to anybody, and that's brave enough to start talking. I think many people are interested so whether it's me or somebody else, let’s go…
[5:28] Did you always have that kind of calm desire?
I was a jerk in college, like in senior college, and I got involved in raves like so and so. No, but I wouldn't say that was a good decision. That was not a great period of my life. So no, I think the older I get, the more I go. I want to do a small degree of things I love, not a bunch of things I kind of like, so as I, you know, talk about it, people say they don't have enough time. But you usually have enough time for the small degree of things. It's just that you're spending a lot of time on things you kind of sort of like, so let's narrow that down a little bit so you can really focus.
[6:15] How did you figure out what you loved?
Well, a lot of it is self-awareness; you can’t achieve any goal or any sort of accomplishment without a degree of self-awareness. Because if you don't know how you operate, you just continue to make mistakes. An easy example would be that if you don't know you're a morning person, you'll schedule difficult tasks later in the afternoon and wonder why they're so hard. So for me, I don't do breakfast. because breakfast is too expensive, and that is self-awareness. It is paying attention to yourself.
[8:13] How can someone get into the flow of even knowing what to test and try?
I'm going to brainstorm as many things as I want. But then, as I get closer to actually doing the things I start to eliminate, I'm going to try experiments. I'm going to say, I've tried this for 30 days. "What really happened?" Was it worth it? Did it go the way I wanted it to? If there was a business function in which I felt fulfilled, where I served and helped real people but did not see progress,? If I don't, I'm going to eliminate it. The average American watches two months of television per year. Two months, dude. If you only watch one month of TV a year, you will still get to watch a whole month. There's a whole industry dedicated to you not doing things like Netflix doesn't want you to write a book. They care about your time, and their whole business is designed around maximizing your time.
[10:34] Did you have to go through some kind of crazy to find this nuance out?
So for me, the big shift was in my early 30s. I started a blog, and the blog started to gain a little traction, and I realized that it was important to me. I had a full-time job, two kids under the age of 4, and a beautiful wife. So I had to start stealing time. I had to get up at 5 a.m. I would practice speeches because I do probably 50 to 60 gigs a year. I would practice speeches on the drive to work. I just decided I'm going to be disciplined, I'm going to have grit, I'm going to have willpower, and I found something I wanted more than what I currently had. People change for two reasons: a lot of pain or a lot of desire, and I'd rather it be a lot of desire. So once I had, like, a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel, I started sprinting toward that tunnel. That's what changed it for me, I think.
[15:10] When I want to film videos, I mentally switch between things. Have you ever had to train yourself that way too?
200%. I call those ginger moments. So the reason they serve ginger at sushi restaurants is to cleanse your palate between bites. So what I do is I need a “ginger moment" between these two activities because it's such a big switch, so I do a quick three-minute walk around the neighborhood or I listen to a song or whatever the moment requires. So that gives me time to think. I think it's also the same way. So I'll say this: We're about to transition in this podcast. We're going to need to write down whatever the two warnings are, but I think about it like that. I'm not naturally great at switching, but I'm getting better at using tools that I've developed over time.
[17:20] How do you look at your life in harmony and have everything moved together smoothly?
Well, I love that work. That makes a ton of sense. Again, I think we agree on so many different things. It's such a fun way. It's why it's fun to have this conversation. I love harmony. You're right about balance. It's a myth. It doesn't exist. And so for me, the way I look at it is that I kind of look at it in seasons. So I know what one of my goals is each year. We did it last year and will do it again this year because I will be in the mountains with my family. When I'm there, I'm going to work a day and a half each week. I've got meetings, I've got some things, and I'm going to cram it all in and have kind of sprint days, but the rest of the time we'll be hiking with my family. How do I maintain that balance and respect the seasons, wherever I am? That doesn't make sense in a world where that doesn't work to explain what my most expensive month is. So I think that's how I look at Harvey. What season on my end is a book-reading season or a speaking season, and how do I ebb and flow within that state?
[21:03] How do you set goals?
Most people are really good at achieving goals and certain segments of their lives. Okay, I need relational goals. So one of my relational goals is to help my youngest daughter train for a half marathon. I wrote this book about mindset, and one of the ideas in there that a lot of people talked about is your thoughts turning. Your thoughts simply desire it, but they never change. But if I have a relational goal, it changes how I treat my family. One month, I said I was going to encourage someone for a month. I made a list of people, and then I would text them something. The content of the message goes thus: "Let's think about creativity." You always come to mind when I think about creative people. "I hope you're doing well." "You have no idea how much I needed that today," said 90% of them. So I believe that my podcast is titled "All it takes is a Goal" because I think that you care about a portion of your life.
[29:40] How do you think people can develop that mindset to create momentum that doesn't exist?
So, for one thing, it's going to happen. Don't feel like a failure when it happens. Every goal sucks in the middle. Everything, like success, is boring in the middle. It's you doing a million. Nobody sees that there's nobody cheering. So it's going to happen, but what I like to do is create what I call a motivation portfolio. So what I like to do is walk people through an exercise called the middle week.
[35:40] Can you unravel your book?
When I work on an idea like this, I consider three things. One, is there a personal connection? Two, is it capable of producing something unique? Three: Is there a spot for me in the marketplace? The book teaches three things. One, how do you retire your broken soundtracks? Get rid of the ones that are in the way too. How do you replace them with new soundtracks? Your brain is waiting to be informed that there has already been a motion.
[48:00] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
Three people were given talents. The first was five, the second person was two and the third was given one. The person with one talent buried his own while others doubled theirs.
One person buried it and missed out on it. So I like to tell people, "Let's grab a shovel." Maybe you buried a part of yourself; let's go get a shovel because there's more to you than you think. So I think he said, "Okay, I'm going to help you teach other people how to grab a shovel."
Key Quotes
[12:20-12:22] Your excuses cannot get bigger than the dream.
[13:30-13:32] Time won’t find you; you have to find the time.
How to connect with Jon Acuff
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jonacuff/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authorjonacuff/
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/jonacuff/with_replies
Tue, 13 Dec 2022 - 50min - 349 - The 5 Steps of Radical Emotional Acceptance
In today’s episode, our guest is Dr. Alex Wills. He is the owner and a psychiatrist at PERMA Mental Health. He is a native Idahoan but has also lived and spent time in over 30 countries, which gives him a well-rounded approach to his patients. He is happy to be serving the community of Boise. He has seen patients in Sun Valley and his hometown of Twin Falls, and he continues to see people via telepsychiatry, no matter where they are.
He has experience treating all forms of mental health concerns including Depression, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, Schizophrenia, PTSD, ADHD, ODD, Addictions, Personality and Eating Disorders, etc.
[3:38] Why should I listen to you?
Wow, that is a great question. I definitely like to go deeper in conversations with people. I'm not really a big fan of this kind of surface stuff. I get bored pretty easily, which is a great job for me in psychiatry because I meet people and they go really deep and tell you stuff they've never told anybody before. So I guess I kind of like that level of engagement.
[4:35] So where do you develop the skill to even have those conversations, let alone the desire to have them?
Yeah, I guess I've always had an interest in psychology since I was a kid. I've always just been fascinated with the way people act. It's always been this great mystery, and the deeper you get, the more mysterious it becomes. So it's like a gift that never stops being interesting.
[5:30] Are there any studies that show that the depth of my ability to be vulnerable creates a depth of connection to a human?
Yes, there is Brene Brown material available. Emotionally Focused Therapy is available for couples, and the research is so compelling that if we choose to be vulnerable rather than defensive and raise our shields, we can disarm the other person as if we were tapping into neurons. This physical level is where we can actually elicit empathy from others for those of us who have empathy.
[6:35] Is there something people should worry about?
Yes. That hits on a core concept that I talked about, which is that all of the emotions we have are good. For example, if you are afraid of being vulnerable to someone, they may use that against you. Then that's a very valid threat to be aware of. As a result, we don't want to go around throwing our deep personal stuff around at random. We want to make sure that we have someone we can trust with whom we can discuss something.
[7:30] What's the best way to enter new situations and conversations with people? Do you listen to their conversation and add to it?
I think the approach I take with my patients is to test the waters. You don't have to plunge in right away. You could share something vulnerable or personal with them and observe how they handle and respond. If they respond in a way that develops more trust, then you might take another risk, but you're right, it is scary, and that's part of life. Although it is scary, that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. But we should be aware that, while there is some risk, it may be worthwhile. It might be worth it to take the risk. I think that at this point in my life, I've realized I can survive worse situations. I can get around, but it's scary for a lot of people. That, I believe, has become a barrier. People put their feet up and walk around all day long.
[9:15] What comes from something you don't want to hear? How does somebody give you an "F," you know, in that space without actually damaging your relationship?
The concept is that we don't need to think of our emotions as a problem. If we realize that all of our emotions—the scary ones, the painful ones, the happy ones, and the disappointing ones—are all trying to help us, then we can make the best decision based on our emotional wisdom. So sometimes the correct choice is to maybe not say anything and not act. Or perhaps it's to be daring and say something too, but you're going to make the best choice if you're tuned into your emotional wisdom.
[10:40] How can somebody in today's world show up in ways that make it clear they give f actually about somebody?
Yeah, I think it can be big things and small things, and making someone else aware of what your emotions are is very powerful. Perhaps you're at work and, for whatever reason, you're not having the best day, and you decide to let your coworker know that, and with that, you might feel more drawn and more human to him. Because I believe something similar occurs frequently, man, and people simply say, "I'm fine, I'm fine." and I think that that leads to vastly more. I think enjoyment, connection, and fulfillment. Even at work, I believe there is some space because people are constantly surrounded by others. If I'm not connected to them, they end up saying, didn't know, you were like that outside of work.
[10:50] So how does somebody dive into that?
When you first start living a life that's not emotionally suppressed, you're probably going to feel a bit awkward. It's going to be weird and different, and you're going to get different responses from people. It's like learning to walk again. There might be some stumbles; there might be some regrets. But then, after you start to gain more confidence, you can allow people to know where you are and what your emotions are when it might not be the right person or the right situation. But it doesn't have to be a daunting thing. It can be a little bit of a game. You can have fun with it
[13:05] Is that related to what you're talking about, that wall she put up to keep that kind of boundary between people?
Yeah, so the F shield That's the first step in the five steps of radical emotional acceptance. And so a typical emotional shield is anger. You know, anger is a very easy emotion to get in touch with because when you're angry, nobody's going to mess with you because you're going to kill them. So it's very empowering. But behind that shield are these more vulnerable emotions: you might be scared; you might be hurt; you might be disappointed. You might be fearful of abandonment or something else going on. So the first step is to recognize when you are using a shield emotion and then be brave enough to drop it and see what's going on, at least for yourself, underneath there.
[15:48] How does somebody handle the feedback from people who are showing up they may gauge it as an angry F shield
It's very applicable and powerful to make your kids aware of your emotional state. You know, if we come across as kind of hard, we have, of course, good intentions. They may become defensive or feel threatened, but if we approach them and say, "Hey, buddy, I'm a little nervous," they may become less defensive or threatened. I'm worried about you because I don't want the kids at school to mock you or give you a bad reputation.
What is step two of the five steps of radical acceptance?
The five radical emotional acceptance steps Yeah, I nicknamed it Ria. So, my daughter Rhea is launching herself into the world. Like, thanks. Thanks. Yeah. So the second step is that try to keep them simple. So it's just listening, or, sorry, I skipped ahead. I don't even know my second step. is actually to name the letter F. Name your emotion. Yeah, just identify what it is. And I'm scared. I'm afraid I'm disappointed. I feel I have the emotion of hate, disgust, or joy. Just name them, use those emoji charts, you know, and just kind of pick a face that represents what your emotional state is at the moment.
[19:35] What is step three?
So step three is to listen to the emotion. Realizing that all of our emotions are only there to help us—we wouldn't be having them if they weren't there to help us—we can learn to control them. So we want to become curious and we want to listen; we want to figure out what the emotion is telling us about our relationship and our situation. And, you know, Ria kind of flips everything on its head because we’re going to start with emotion and then try to learn from it rather than starting with our thoughts, rationalizations, and stories.
[20:35] How do you kind of unravel it now that you've listened to it, as we'll call it?
You just want to spend some time, you know, being curious and listening. Understanding what your emotional truth is telling you You may think you have a great relationship going on with someone, but maybe this emotion that comes up lets you know something's not quite right. And, to really validate something like, "Okay, I'm going to pay attention," that might spur you on to ask more questions or kind of search deeper for other related emotions.
[23:58] Is there some consistency between those who navigate emotions and then climb ladders in life to certain pieces,
Absolutely. In my own life, I've reached a plateau several times, sometimes for years, and I feel like I was able to kind of get to the next level. Only by improving my relationship with my emotions and utilizing the wisdom of my emotional intelligence will I be able to navigate some pretty tricky waters, so to speak.
[27:04] What's the fourth step in the five steps of radically emotional acceptance?
Yes, it is to act or not act on the F. So based on your emotional wisdom, and your emotional intelligence, after sort of getting centered and validating your emotional experience, you get to decide that sometimes the right answer is to do nothing at all. Sometimes the right answer might be to fly off the handle. I mean, there are situations where that is necessary, but you can make the most emotionally informed decision using the full wisdom of your emotional intelligence, and there are other better ways, like 36 strategies to use for how to actually process that because it is up to me to act on it. I'm just explaining how, when you're a kid, you hit them back so that those sudden things, like someone cutting you off in traffic, it cuts them out of them, you know, flip them off at this point, I can process it, and I don't want anyone shooting me in my car.
[28:20] How do you get to the point where you are completely unbothered by stuff?
Yeah, to answer the first part, I think it comes from practicing, from leaving that emotional door to your heart opens all the time. So no F spilled; you know, little apps, big apps, came and went; I'm not saying you're reactive or doing whatever you want impulsively, but you're very present and aware of what emotions are flowing. However, you know, the goal may not be to feel good all the time or not have things get to us. Instead, the goal might be to learn how to feel good. In other words, we have to be at one with our emotions because, just like the waves of the ocean, they're always going to be coming and going. That's part of life. That's not a bad thing. So, if we can accept that, life becomes a different experience; it can become quite enjoyable regardless of the emotional storm.
[31:00] So what is Step Five?
Step five is to think the F or find gratitude for whatever emotions are coming up, and this is my favorite step. This is similar to the magic part. If you can find true, sincere gratitude for a disappointing emotion, a sad emotion, or a scary emotion, then there's no longer a problem, because you realize that that emotion is just part of yourself, and it's trying to help you. You can end the war with yourself, and then you will be whole enough to make the best decisions going forward.
[32:05] Is there a way you can trigger yourself to remember to do that in real-time?
Well, I like to think about, you know, what if the opposite were true; for example, you could use the example of losing a big sale or something and having extreme anger and disappointment come up about that. Well, imagine if you're the kind of guy who doesn't have any anger or disappointment. a You would not be the guy that's going to go out there and get the next sale. So being thankful is like, "Hey, these emotions are telling me a pretty crummy thing happened, and it hurts because it's not good." It's not the outcome I wanted, and so I should have these emotions because they're reflecting reality, and that's going to help me do better the next time and get my head screwed on straight so that I don't mess it up or I can figure out what went wrong so I can have a better performance.
[44:18] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
When i was a kid my mother told me she named me Alexander because i'm the hope of mankind
Key Quotes
[24:08-24:12]The higher you go, the more stressed you are and the more emotions you may experience.
How to connect with Dr. Alex Wills
Website: https://independentdocsid.com/alex-wills-md/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alexwillsmd
Tue, 06 Dec 2022 - 46min - 348 - The Power of Mentorship with Jason Yarusi
In today’s episode, our guest is Jason Yarusi. He is an active Real Estate Syndicator and Real Estate Investor. Jason and his wife, Pili, founded Yarusi Holdings, a multifamily investment firm with over 2000 units acquired since 2016.
Jason also hosts The Multifamily Live Podcast, which provides actionable content and tools to build and strengthen your multifamily business. He is also the founder of the New Jersey Multifamily Live Club, which focuses on Real Estate syndication and MultiFamily investing.
[6:20] Why should I listen to you?
You know, that's a good question. Right? And maybe you shouldn't, and a lot of times in life, you have to understand the best value you can get so that you can really go out there and serve others. It's fun to meet a lot of people. If we sat down together and talked honestly from us, we could replace where we built a lot of where we are today.
[12:50] Where did that kind of muscled develop? Was it before this construction gig or at a childhood level?
My dad has a business where he lives in lost buildings. That is what he does. So my brother and I helped him at one point, and it was the serving notion that we were just stepping from one service to the other. It was great to help dad, but I knew it wasn’t the direction we wanted. [15:10] What best way to set someone up for success when delegating?
It's divided into two parts. One, you want to know if you want to do that. Because if you're going to delegate and you're going to be on a part, and then you're going to dictate every move of them, well, you might as well not even delegate because then you're dictated being the dictator and just controlling every motion. You're going to only empower them to do if you're going to be a task giver at every point. It's not going to help you. so at every point, you hired 10 people but for every single step they need your approval. They need the next step for you. Well, then, you're defeating the mission. The point of delegation is to have roles and responsibilities and trust me. We could have improved at this. And it took us a minute to set up the roles and responsibilities. And we found that we hire people who fit well with us. And for them, we empower them to help us build with the role needs to help us with the roles and responsibilities.
[18:03] Where was your aww shift moment that constitutes a catalyst to this next stage of your life?
Yes, and it was the combination of doing a lot of activities. We were running the construction business and also doing 12 to 13 jobs. Again, we had our first baby and the second one. We wanted to get into real estate; however, we didn't know what that meant, so we did what we thought was right. We started flipping houses started wholesaling and doing some Airbnbs. However, we were just stacking the construction activity with more activity of running all these construction projects because here we are in the middle of that. It came to a point where my wife went to a real estate meeting where she met someone who was buying out-of-state rentals. And that was when something went off and we decided to buy this rental out of state, empowering teams to get through.
[21:35] What was that journey to dive into this new venture?
Yeah, I told her about it. I told her all the reasons why they let her sit there with them in it. So we do go to different places. I'll go 27 steps, but I realized that is bad. One of my failures as a husband that I've constantly worked better at is that I talked a lot and then answered for her but we need both sides and that's the power of our success here. However, I had to stop speaking and then answer a different question. I asked her a question and then answered the question before she could answer it. So I let her unravel with that. So I aligned to get mentors around other people that could show me just the steps and the basics. Find a market, find a property, and put a team together. But the power of mentorship is that all these little intricacies are in between that can just destroy you.
[26:46] What has been your journey?
It's a great question, and the honest answer is we had to learn more about the relationship, and we did the work side because we spent our first ten years working together. So that's come more naturally, and all of our disagreements are just a lack of communication. It's not easy raising a family and also running a business. Being your boss is fantastic, but you can never shut off. You can spend all your time working and you have to choose when is that on and off. There's going to be certain times where there's going to be seasons where you have to be all in with certain things too. My wife and I have worked at a bar where they would have on a Saturday 20,000 people and so now it's almost like I'm like this is quiet. So our energy has changed so much, that work pressures are always pressures.
[32:12] What is your routine and how does it allow you to take control of your day?
You know one of my goals is that I'm going to pick my kids up every day and that's something that I'm doing every day. So I get up, have a glass of water, make a coffee, meditate, and that is the first part then I'll get out. Typically I do kettlebells or some work for 25 to 30 minutes and then run and I've done that to a point very consistently every day. And so no matter how I'm feeling, I get up I do my morning routine and I go and pick up my kids. And from there, our morning has now begun. Like I'm focused on doing what I'm doing but not in a way that will ever be detrimental or take away from my kid's childhood with their father. It's not always accepted in society nowadays. It's hustle, bustle, build, grow. Family is important, but your family never sees you.
[36:55] So in your experience, Who's the right person for someone like this lifestyle?
You have to be patiently impatient and I'll explain that in a moment - that you don't want to be where you are, but you're patient enough to get where you want to be because we get stuck in a life where we expect immediate results. If you wish to change your life, you have to stop what you're doing. Because if you're expected to do exactly what you're doing every day, you will get the same outcomes. Billy and I both grew up with inconsistency all the time. We worked in bars having a paycheck. There's no consistency in anything from where we got paid, so from us, we learned how to understand that there are always more ways to make more money or survive or do other parts of the puzzle.
[40:30] how are you guiding the people you are teaching and what are you hoping for them?
Yeah, that's a great question. So seven figure multifamily is where we teach other like-minded people to go out there and buy their first multifamily property. It could be anywhere from a four-unit to a 400-unit or anything. We help them in power, teach them the steps we've done, and the most important thing is mentorship. We show them what we've done that has worked. We also show them what didn’t work because those steps can be even more critical because they teach you precisely what you shouldn't do. After all, we've already wasted our energy, time, and focus on those parts of the process. Then they can avoid those things so they can fast-track to reaching their goals by doing the steps others have done successfully to get where they want to be.
[41:44] What is the thing that separates the good students from the not-so-great students?
Take action. Understand that getting outside of your comfort zone is natural. We don't want to be outside of our country. We must take action and surround ourselves with other members who can help fill our superpowers. You can do different parts of the process. But suppose you'll try and do it all out of the gate. In that case, you're going to try and find the deals underwrite the deals, put together the team, find all the capital, go out there and figure out how to do the due diligence, understand the construction, you know, source the market, and you're going to try and do all that yourself. It will take you longer and make it harder for you to reach your goal. Instead of saying okay, here is where my focus is. Here's where my energy here's where I'm best served. Here's where my superpowers are, and who else has the other superpowers I need to win and when I find that people can put themselves in a position to be realistic with themselves, where they can serve best they get to their goals much quicker.
[45:34] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I will leave this earth better than I found it by my choices. They are not always going to bthey'llat, but it'll be the choices I choose to make after that last choice I made.
Key Quotes
[37:24-37:30] If you want to change your life, you have to stop what you are doing
[46:57-47:00] If you want to be great, just be consistent
How to connect with Jason Yarusi
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JYarusi/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jasonyarusi/?hl=en
Website: https://www.yarusiholdings.com/
Tue, 29 Nov 2022 - 45min - 347 - Embracing Failure to Build Your Confidence with Felicia Romero
In today’s episode, our guest is Felicia Romero. She is a coach who helps other online coaches to sell and scale their online coaching business to create the freedom and wealth they desire.
[4:22] Why Should I Listen to you?
First, I love meeting new people, so I'd be the person in the coffee shops talking to the person next to me.
[8:00] Can you take me back to the moments when you experienced the aww Shift moment that helped you create and build your skill set? I was a kid in School that didn't make eye contact with a teacher. I was in a perpetual state of not being wanted / side of attraction. You don't have to be confident before you show up but showing up builds confidence. For me, the first state was doing something scary in college. My path was going down a completely different way than it is now. I opened up my first gym at 22 but was a law student before that. I have a bachelor's in political science. I took my LSAT for law school & got an internship where I beat out hundreds of other students, and I got an opportunity to be an intern at the House of representatives. I got different opportunities to speak at events. It's not because I'm confident or there's some hierarchy. It's because I choose to show up even when things are difficult.
[10:36] What did you do to jump into the moment most people might be scared of?
Preparation is key. I was prepared. I had my notes and did a lot of research, but I also know that I only know some things. I also know failing is okay because it's a stepping stone to the next level. You have to also be okay with not knowing everything. You also have to be OK with everything not going to be perfect. I remember being in front of all legislators, not knowing the answer to a question, and instead of coming up with solutions, I said I don't know but would get back with the correct answer.
[13:35] What's the fearful thing you didn't see that opened up a more excellent door?
People tend to set realistic goals. They know they can make it, but they never want to think more significantly because many of us are afraid to claim our desires. It's easy to go into the limiting belief of not dreaming bigger because we fear failure. We’re scared to let ourselves down and don't think it's possible. That's why I love mastermind. I'm part of a mastermind, I host it, and I am there with women doing big things.
[37:13] What is the unique source or particular part of you that makes what you do different from everybody?
I wanted to help wellness fitness coaches because I was in that space. Someone who has got her car repossessed was not thriving and didn't have plans for legacy wealth. When I sold my gym, I got questions from wellness fitness coaches and made them realize they could be the CEO of their businesses and life. They can think bigger. I teach wellness coaches to hone their core values.
[43:27] Why is it essential for someone to transit or at least add online to their repertoire?
Changing our perspective is essential. The online space is going nowhere, and one of the things holding people back is how it's so saturated, but as we discussed earlier, you are you. People are attracted to you for a reason. Why try to resist when you can just adapt? That's just entrepreneurship. Entrepreneurship is being flexible. When people think online, they often think of Instagram, TikTok, and social media reels, but you don't have to be like everyone else. But you shouldn't expect results if you're not creating and don't create.
[51:25] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
The promise was to be generous and kind and pour belief into people who don't believe in themselves.
Key Quotes
[16:45-16:47) The group you're in elevates your level of perception.
[30:10-30:14] The first million is hard. The second million is inevitable.
How to connect with Felicia Romero
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feliciaromero/?hl=en
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/FeliciaRomeroOnline/
Tue, 22 Nov 2022 - 54min - 346 - Pursue Closure and Clarity Through Mindfulness with Case Kenny
In today’s episode, our guest is Case Kenny. He is a Chicago-based writer, podcaster, and recording artist behind the New Mindset Journal. His drive and passion for growth inspired him to start the New Mindset, Who Dis podcast in the summer of 2018.
[1:10] Why should I listen to you?
I think for me, I've always lived by a prove-it mentality. If I gave you any advice, it would be backed up by my story, which I take pride in.
[4:50] What was the thing that gave you the drive to go down the rabbit hole that many people would never go down?
Honestly, it just felt good to do something different because I think I was just stuck in this turnstile of the key to being happy and fulfilled. I was always under the assumption that to get those things life is about more and better. I had to work harder to get better. I had to work harder to create better, larger outcomes in life. From how I've been taught to think, from what sales had taught me, from what relationships have taught me and it was just very freeing. I was like, this is just so different from how I've felt in the past. And maybe that's something to continue to explore. And then of course, through doing, I was like, this is therapeutic. This is my therapy. I was just giving myself the catalyst to do it. Mindfulness is a muscle. The more you practice it, the better you get at it.
[6:40] What was that place of comfort? And did you have those areas where you had a little apprehension to lose those things?
I built an entire character and brand around being successful in sales. I started at this company, as an account executive worked my way up to the regional vice president, and did very well for myself financially. It was very great and it's very easy to delude ourselves with money. Like I'm making good money so I don't need to worry about these little things like happiness or fulfillment. But to answer your question, what I had to let go of was an identity around that thing. But then you know the term of start over, we're very averse to it. Because when we think about starting over or reinventing ourselves, a lot of the time we think about how we’ve messed up and how we are going to start back from zero. And what I've realized is in a sense, maybe, but you're never starting from zero. You're never ever, ever starting from zero. You're bringing all these things with you. And I learned a ton about myself in sales. I learned a ton about myself in my 20s through, quotes, and failed relationships, and I was bringing all that with me. And that gave me a little bit of wind in my sales.
[8:53] How did you handle that?
I work in sales and people count on me for sure. I remember my parents and I love them. They love me to the moon and back. Of course, we do anything for each other, but I remember a comment that my mom made. She's like, you're gonna throw that all away. And she didn't mean it like that, but just that word, and just like really? So of course, I had massive doubts from time to time but I had to stay very rooted in the fact. In my life, I've always proven that anything worth having is on the other side of fear, failure, rejection, or some type of friction. It's always been true. I think impostor syndrome is what everyone struggles with so it's not a linear line. I'm constantly up and down, for sure.
[11:08] Do you mind in your own words, expressing what mindfulness is and how you used it to get to the position of even just starting before you get to the point right now?
I’m very passionate about the topic of mindfulness. I was always very cynical towards the self-development industry. I thought it was for people who go on silent retreats and have crystals in their houses. But what I came to realize, maybe through growth or just maturity is that mindfulness is the most simple practical thing you could do in life when you break it down. Mindfulness is self-awareness. Mindfulness is radical self-honesty in the form of why. That's how I've defined it for myself. When I sit down and I talk about mindfulness, all it is is the application of asking yourself why and challenging yourself to answer the best you can now with a permanent blueprint for your life. The more you practice why the better you get at it, and I always say that if you practice why you practice mindfulness. It gives you two things in life that I think if you're constantly in the pursuit of these things, you're going to have very few things to regret. Those two things are closure and clarity. It's like when you practice why you get a sense of closure from your past, maybe not closure, but more like peaceful acceptance. And in the present, you get clarity. You can say yes or no.
[18;48] So tell me about the podcast and how it came to be?
I've been writing online and with some variety for a couple of years but I wanted to do something a bit more vulnerable. There's something more vulnerable than writing, which I think is spoken words. There's more emotion to it and that's literally how I started the podcast. So like my whole journey is kind of meta in that I started the podcast as a means to help myself and then it changed my life. It gave me some authority. It’s always like the podcast has always been for me. It was always my form of therapy and then I started releasing those episodes and they started to do well and I was like, wow, it's helping other people which is pretty interesting. I've done 40 and 50 episodes and a branch into music now and it just gets more and more rewarding the more I practice. I'm very passionate about fusing mindfulness with different mediums. So obviously, on the podcast and spoken word, and books and writing the written word, I run a business of creating different journals, and so those that's journaling and mindfulness I have a candle line that's sent to mindfulness. Music and mindfulness I think is the most powerful form of mindfulness in the world. I've always been drawn to house music and dance music and I started doing these things that I called dance music, guided meditations, where I would DJ and put together these mixes and those started to get pretty big that I started to reach out to different producers and DJs. And like now I've done these collabs with Martin Garrix.
[22:17] How did you get to the point of taking these next steps?
I remember pretty vividly that I was an employee in a company when I started the podcast. I did the classic side which is the hustle thing. I've networked pretty well over the years and I know some people who are great examples. I remember having a call one day with this guy. He's the founder of a very large media company and he was like, So what are you gonna do? I was like, Well, I don't know. I told him I was thinking about building something for my audience, building a product that they need instead of going out and doing sponsors and trying to leave the corporate world that way. He's like, No, but I was like, I was thinking on maybe a journal because journaling is one of those things that bring my iPhone to life. But I was like, I don't want to do that everyone has a journal, and I'm over here. I forget exactly what he said. But he was like, just because everyone has created a journal doesn't mean you can't create a new one a different one. So I ended up creating this journal and I released it in January 2020. And then obviously COVID team is really out there and they just became this huge demand for mental health wellness products and, I went from making no money to the journals crossing mid-seven figures in 18 months, and a lot went into that, of course, a lot of hard work in the years prior and then the timing and then the creation of it. Of course, I can't owe it all to luck. But, you know, that was a moment that just taught me one thing. Stop assuming things like just because you want to create something that already exists is such a defeatist mentality.
[31:00] What are your thoughts when you look at the world of like social media at this moment in time?
Yeah, it's such a passionate point for me. I'll keep it short. I don't like advice like social media is not real. Everyone's lying. That sounds so negative to me. But what I have realized is that we need to realize the commonality of the human experience and the most practical way I can describe is with this experience of mine. I posted a question and asked What is one thing that's missing from your life? And I've got 100,000 followers, so I got a ton of answers. And I looked at all the answers and they were big-time life things fulfillment, love, financial security, depth, optimism. But I didn't want to just like get the answers. I wanted to see who submitted the answers and people didn't realize I was doing that. So then I would click their profile to see who submitted it. And then if there are public I would scroll through, and it was so eye-opening, for example, I got one that's like, I want true friends that I can rely on and I click her profile, and she'd have tons of pics with friends smiling pics going out. I think that's my heartfelt way to encourage people to be inspired by other people. Be inspired by their example, listen to their story, adopt something that they said that was valuable, but always come back to the fact that you know, your truth is your truth based on what you've experienced and proven in your life. And until you've done that, just be wary of what you hear. Stay curious, and stay inspired!
[35:19] Is that a practice that people can implement that can help clear that out?
Absolutely! I think any form of mindfulness and course yoga, meditation, journaling sound baths, and silent walks. There are things you can do to get your head in an honest headspace. That's honest for you, not honest in the sense of what you think you should be feeling but how you're feeling. And I think from that headspace, then you can start to make these decisions about closure about clarity about what you want. I used to think that there was a right way and it's so limiting. But I think we could all prove not only in 2022 and 2023 that you can literally make a living from anything. That's one thing, too. There is no right way to be single. There is no right way to be married, divorced, be a parent so on and so forth. I really do believe that and I like that I have proven it so often with people.
[45:12] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I think that my empathy is always well served that I was designed with that in mind. No matter where it leads me if it leads me to awkward embarrassing rejection or whatever it is the promise that's been made to me is that it's worth it. That practicing is worth it. The tapping into it is worth it. If anything, it's my life skill. I think the promise I've been given is that I've been given a skill.
Key Quotes
[11:50-11:52] Mindfulness is the most simple practical thing you could do in life when you break it down.
[27:16-27:19] Everything changes when you redefine what is possible for yourself.
How to connect with Case Kenny
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/case.kenny/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecasekenny/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thecasekenny
Tue, 15 Nov 2022 - 49min - 345 - Discover Your Source of Power to Create Your Platform with Jasmine Star
In today’s episode, our guest is Jasmine Star. She is a photographer and business strategist who empowers entrepreneurs to build a brand, market it on social media, and create a life they love.
[3:06] Why should I listen to you?
I have the unique ability to hear a story and the end of the story.
[3:36] Where did that come from?
I didn't realize that this was a source of power for me until adulthood. But what I realized growing up is that I'm a brown girl and the daughter of an immigrant. I grew up obese as a child. I wasn't the kid that someone's like, wow, that kid's spectacular. I believe that I'm a professional. People watches, dial in, and drill down on who this person is, what drives them, and what they want. I'm not special. I just pulled a mirror up to what somebody wants and can't find the right words and I make them feel very seen and known and understood at that moment.
[7:24] What was the transition of going from being a quiet person to being more outgoing and speaking up?
There are two distinctions and that is there's the girl from the hood, who will do whatever it takes to get where you want to go, and then there's the human that realizes the purpose and power and being 100% who you are. I will do things other people want to get results that other people don't. My approach is different from anybody else's approach. I find myself in is, I've always learned that I will get more genuinely interested in other people than trying to get 1000 people interested in me. And it is the people who I talk to on the periphery that are never the ones who are the most captivating, but those who are the most powerful. Good things happen when you are not the center of attention and trying to get other people interested in what it is you do.
[10:42] Was there something as a kid or teenage years where you experienced a transformation?
For me, it wasn't a transformative moment. I did not have the scales rising. I didn't have a family with a deep sense of self-love and purpose. It was like a style. It was just a muscle that I realized the people who had the thing I wanted and the power in which they possessed. I noticed that they would do certain things to get to where they were and I thought to myself, am I capable of doing a little of what they have done? and the answer to anyone asking that question is if you're asking the question, you have the ability, it's just whether or not you'd have the courage to deploy against the very thing you desire. For me, it wasn't overnight. I just realized that every time I exerted a bit of effort. I fell on my face, swallowed my pride, and then continued trying again. I just realized that one of the mantras that have carried me through life is I can't lose if I don't quit.
[13:29] Can you walk us through when you started and what the journey is like?
I got a full-ride scholarship to UCLA law school and while I was there, I was sad, stressed, and overwhelmed. My mom had a relapse of brain cancer during my first year of law school and then everything got flipped upside down because she had battled for eight years at this time. The doctor said her time had come and so in addition to being depressed about being in Moscow, I found a deep depression around life, purpose, and God, and I quit law school. I had three years to go back to reclaim my scholarship. But I said I need to take a medical leave because I need to be with my mom. I moved back home with my parents, and I don't know which way is up but all I know is that I want to marry my high school sweetheart. Someone I've been dating at this point, for about nine years, and I wanted my mom to see us get married. We plan a wedding in like three months. The doctor said she won't walk but she was able to walk down the aisle with me.
After the wedding, my husband asked me if I was still going back to law school and I said no. He asked a singular question: if I could do one thing and be happy for the rest of my life, what would it be? And I said, I would be a photographer and within the first year, I built a six-figure revenue stream on photography. I started teaching other photographers how to build better businesses. And then slowly thereafter I started teaching other creatives how to build better businesses. And then I started consulting with medium-sized companies and in every iteration of this career, I slowly started realizing I have a skill set of breaking down a big idea into small actionable steps. So then I started creating digital courses that changed my life, and my career. My financial objectives then created a membership on the back of continuous education, and then in 2021, decided to turn the membership into a full-on SAS tech platform where we empower small business owners with the marketing resources that they need for their business.
[18:37] What advice do you have for people that are deadly afraid of creating a business?
As I went through the journey of choosing a photographer for my wedding, I realized that I was not making an intelligent business decision. I wasn't even making a logical decision. I was making 100% emotional decisions for an emotional transaction and it was at that moment I realized that I would lose playing the talent game. I will lose playing the marketing game. I will lose in the business game. I can win in an emotional game. And it was the first time that I flexed that muscle in understanding that I could connect with people on a human-to-human level. And then I quickly distilled that at the time I was working part-time for my daddy's church. So I didn't make a lot of money. So the risks were low. I just thought to myself, Well if I can book five clients, if I can emotionally connect with somebody who believes in my capacity to do a very simple thing on a very special day. I just need five to match what I was making at this church like I said, not a lot of money. So the minute I was able to book the clients, I was then officially in business. And so I didn't have to ask people to make a transaction. What I had to do was to appeal to an emotional aspect or an emotional decision. And every single iteration thereafter can I connect with some of these deepest desires and showcase a transformation? If I do that, then I don't have to ask for a sale. I simply have to make an offer and then they decide based on the equity that had built up.
[21:18] How did you go through the journey of getting those five clients?
My dad is a pastor in East Los Angeles with a sizable church and I thought to myself nepotism at its finest. Let me offer my services for free to people who would say no to free. And lo and behold a lot of people said no because when you offer something for free it isn't. There are three reasons why people will stop business and the number one is money. They have a hard time asking for money because they feel like it's a charitable donation or they feel like somebody's been benevolent because they believe that's a choice and a decision. The second is denial. People have a hard time saying no to receiving a note because they don't receive the note as a note of the offer they see receiving no as a no to them human. And then lastly, it's the belief that even though you love your product and your service, you love your business, you are not 100% sure that somebody couldn't else get something cheaper, faster, better. So these three things are the negative narrative that we keep in our minds as business owners and I decided to break that barrier.
[23:58] How can someone develop that kind of belief in themselves?
So if you're so worried about people saying no, I always suggest roleplaying with your friends. Give an offer and have your friends say no and then you have to come back and say but how do we get to a why you strengthen your skills by being told no. I don't ask for a sale, I make an offer and that allows emotional distance. Do you know how many times we say no in a day? I don't want to watch that on Netflix. No, I don't want that meal. No, I don't want to go there. But it's not anything against like the show on Netflix, the food, or the location. It's really like that's not where I'm at right now. So I just really put a distance between that and the belief I simply state the truth. There is somebody better, cuter, wiser, faster, and cheaper that will sell the very thing that I am. But the thing that nobody else has is the way that I see the world, the way that I present things. You present that to somebody if it's an alignment and so yes, it's not alignment to know we continue moving forward.
[27:18] How have you in the recent months or years kind of dove in and noticed and looked at the mindset of people or even of yourself and the success that's tied to it?
I read a book a few years ago that had a radical shift in how I did business and it was I look back at what was like some really big tipping points and it was this particular year that I read this particular book, it was called Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck. There are two types of people. People with a growth mindset and a limited mindset, and are born fixed. I read the book and I realized that my foundation was fixed. My buildings, my emotions, and my structures were fixed. I realized that that was the greatest disservice that I can do myself. And it was at that time that I started realizing you're playing small to win when you set out to play games, you are unqualified to play understanding, it is highly unlikely that you will win, but losing at a bigger game is better than winning at the world's smallest one. Everything stated for me everything said it is still a challenge every single day.
[35:32] What’s the thing that you hope to create for people who come across you?
I don’t think it’s a great answer. It is just the answer that is the truest version of why I do what I do. I was 26 years old with no idea of what business was. All of a sudden, I saw how big the world was and how the internet democratized the way people showed up. The internet gave unqualified people the chance to work their way into qualification and I was on the curb of that. All I want to tell people is that the very thing you want to do is on the other side of consistency. It might not be as big as you want but if you are consistent, you will improve and do well in it. Be consistent, make an offer and remain attached to what you do.
[46:10] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I will be a reminder that you are enough. What you do is enough, who you are is enough and what you say is enough.
Key Quotes
[9:50-9:57] Good things happen when you are not trying to get other people interested in what you do.
[12:52-12:56] If you’re not transparent enough for people to dislike you, you’ll never be transparent enough for people to love you.
[26:22-26:27] If you can separate yourself from what you are doing, it will be a humongous relief.
How to connect with Jasmine Star
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jasminestar/?hl=en
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/JasmineStar/
Website: https://jasminestar.com/
Tue, 08 Nov 2022 - 50min - 344 - The Power of Grit and Grace with Amberly Lago
In today’s episode, our guest is Amberly Lago. She is a leading expert in resilience, transformation, and health wellness. She is the best-selling author of ‘True Gift and Grace’ and empowers people worldwide by sharing how she turned a tragedy into triumph. She is a former professional dancer and athlete, bringing a new perspective on what it takes to persevere.
[4:10] Why should I listen to you?
I love connecting with people. I love talking to strangers and anybody that I meet. It's my favorite part of my whole journey. And you should speak to me because I've been through so many different experiences, overcome many challenges, and could probably relate to one thing or another.
[7:30] Can you share with us your journey?
I was probably the healthiest place in my life mentally, spiritually, and physically in every way. I had a successful fitness career doing fitness videos and fitness modeling sponsored by Nike. I recorded a fitness video the day before and thought life was good. I'm married. I've got two kids that are healthy things. One day, I was coming home from work and driving down Ventura Boulevard, and an SUV shot out of a parking lot. It boned me, and I was thrown 30 feet sliding across the asphalt. When I stopped, I looked down at my leg, which was completely broken into pieces. And what's so crazy is, well, I immediately had pain. But I looked down and thought one of the first things I thought was, wow, this can't be good. I might have to train clients on crutches for a while. I had no idea how to adjust because it would completely change my life. So I rushed to the hospital.
My organs started shutting down because I had lost so much blood. I was in so much pain that they couldn't control it, so they had to put me in an induced coma. And when I woke up from a coma, I learned you have a 1% chance of saving your leg. This is basically like a war wound. There's not much we can do for you. We're going to have to amputate. There was a 1% chance, and that was my glimmer of hope that I held on to that got me through 34 surgeries and months in the hospital. A lot of pain, and they saved my leg. But then I was diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome, which is a supposedly incurable nerve disease. I've tried every kind of treatment for it. That's one of the reasons we had, you know, $2.9 million worth of medical expenses.
[11:30] What was the thing that made your mind go like, there's a shot, like when most people would get rid of it?
Growing up as an athlete and a dancer helped me with my mindset. And so I was like, if I want something, I will have to work for it. I was never the best dancer. And so I knew I could be better if I took more dance classes. So I just knew that we get to define our future, and it's up to us if we want to be resilient or thrive in life. I was little when my stepfather sexually abused me. After my parents divorced, my mom remarried, so I learned at a young age that if I focus on the things that bring me joy, life tends to get better. If I focus on the results that I want instead of the ones that I don't, then I will do better in life. So I think that some of the challenges that I went through helped me.
[14:20] Who are the people around you to help you climb out, or were you kind of solo on your own?
I couldn't do it alone. I had an army of people that came to support me. First of all, my husband was my rock. He was doing everything except paying the bills. We learned a valuable lesson concerning our bank account. We had two separate bank accounts, and my bank account did not have we didn't have our names on each other's bank accounts. So, when I was in a coma, he couldn’t pay the bills because he couldn't access the report. So we learned to put each other in everything we own. We're both on the bank statements. During that time my clients showed up for me. I needed my clients more than they needed me, and they were there for me. They showed up for me in the hospital, bringing me food and flowers, and then I was still able to give them exercise. I was still being of service, and that helped me to be able to provide the nurses with exercise tips. When they learned, I was a trainer. They came to me for help on what they could do to work on their body. I was in service even though I was stuck in a hospital bed, Even though I didn't know if my legs would be amputated or if I would make it through surgery. They gave me a purpose and allowed me to keep pushing forward.
[17:19] Can you walk us through the points where you felt it wouldn’t work out?
Like I said earlier, I survived this horrific accident only to be diagnosed with a nerve disease. I had never done a drug in my life, and all of a sudden I'm being induced with ketamine to try to reboot my nervous system. I was doing Eastern Western medicine at one point. I was on 73 homeopathic pills and 11 different prescription medications. I was on oxygen. I was on every kind of pain pill you could imagine. I even had a spinal stimulator implanted in my back. Nothing was working. I felt I hated myself and hated a four-letter word and our family. I hated myself for what I had become. I felt worthless shame and drinking was helping me numb. I didn't want to live anymore, but I was just too afraid to die. I thought of starting a podcast and I didn't even own a computer. I accepted that I needed help. I went for my first meeting when I heard the word, “hope”. I cried for the first full year but little by little I dove into self-development. I started going to therapy. I worked on myself every single day and started to heal. I decided to write a book. I hand-wrote 90% of the book and bought a computer to type it.
[23:30] Can you unpack the book, how it has gone into the world, and who it serves?
I had no idea. Like I wanted to write a book to give some hope and inspiration to others struggling or feeling stuck or dealing with pain or shame. Whether they've been sexually abused or in a horrific accident or lost their careers or they've, you know, had a lien on their house, whatever it may be. I was like, there is a way through this. I had no idea about the journey. One day, my husband told me that I was pacing myself and I felt bad. I didn’t want to be resilient so I wrote down on this notepad all the different things that I do to be resilient and I wrote down Pacer. First I just wrote down the word pace and then I had to add the last letter. So Pacer stands for perspective, acceptance, community endurance, and rest. And so, perspective is something that I still have to do every day and every morning from the moment that I step. I took my first step when I woke up out of bed in pain. I didn’t know how to be grateful so I started a gratitude practice.
[32:30 What are your thoughts around helping people develop like called muscle of discipline or endurance?
I don't depend on motivation. I depend on my healthy habits. I think it is essential to focus on oneself. It's so important to build your confidence, keep promises to yourself and fulfill them. You build your endurance and confidence. I think that endurance can be really simple. It starts with setting your alarm in the morning, not pushing snooze, and getting up. It is setting a small attainable goal and accomplishing it.
[36:50] At what point did you know that this is something you need to take to the world?
I believe that I can provide more value than my words and story. I worked with people for 26 years in the fitness industry. I worked them through a process of workouts and coaching sessions. People started asking me questions about my growth and how I was able to move forward despite my challenges. I started responding to several messages as best as I could and I started paying attention to my audience, I decided to open a playbook and help other women do the same thing as me except for the mistakes that I've made and the money I've wasted along the way.
[45:37] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That I would always make people feel loved, welcome, and accepted.
How to connect with Amberly Lago
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amberlylagomotivation/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AmberlyLagoSpeaker/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/amberlylago/with_replies
Thu, 03 Nov 2022 - 49min - 343 - The 40 most important conversation to have with yourself with Corey Yeager
In today’s episode, our guest is Corey Yeager. He has navigated his ups and downs. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist, meaning he spends more time with people. He used to have a tie.
[4:00] Why Should I Listen to you?
It will be intentional if I try to talk to you. You should also speak to me because you might sense I have wisdom in my conversation. I would jump into curiosity about your life. My life is to be curious about people’s lives, not change anyone’s life.
[5:06] Where do you see wisdom coming from?
My grandmother, who died at the age of 96 years, had a sixth-grade education but was the wisest person in the world. She taught me the process and gift of discernment, which I utilized in my life. She taught me the difference between wisdom and knowledge. Knowledge is gaining information, while wisdom is the application thereof. It is how I take my information and apply it to benefit myself and others around me. Knowledge is just something on a shelf, but if it’s utilized well, it is wisdom. That’s how I see it.
[7:12] Where did curiosity come into your life?
I think I have always been curious, and I will have to relate this to my grandmother. When I was ten, she took me to her side and told me I had the same gift as hers: the gift of discernment. She began to teach me what wisdom is. She told me to pay attention to what people are doing, be curious, watch and don’t tell anybody you’re doing it, and see if I can predict what’s going to happen with that situation, and I have done that my whole life. I watch people, sit back and watch how events will unfold in their life. So curiosity has grown in my life since a very young age, and I utilize it in everything, and I think it serves me well.
[9:50] How do you handle people that are close to you but don’t listen to you?
I am not sure I can help with forcing anything at all. I think I’ve settled on saying that it’s not my job to convince you to do something or not. I will give you my version, and you can choose to do whatever you want. You can choose to ignore me, and I will watch the situation while you look at me and tell me I was right.
[11:00] How did you become a marriage and family therapist?
I went to Long Beach State and played football. I thought I would be a multi-millionaire offensive guard in the NFL. I had no degree, nor did I have anything to fall back on. I had a friend who bonded well with each other; after football, I met my wife. She saw something in me that was invincible to me, and she kept drawing it out. I followed her lead, went back to school, and fell in love with the academic ground. I got my degree in psychology, went back to school for my master's, and ultimately Ph.D. at the University Of Minnesota. So I kind of fell in love with that rap out.
Meanwhile, as I got my master’s degree, I became a therapist and deeply fell in love with the therapeutic adventure-engaging and supporting others. I wanted to be in the helping profession, and it drew me to people. I got to hear people’s stories, experiences, and feedback. That drew me into it and sustained me because I want to be in the helping space.
[13:30] What’s the state of the world’s family base right now?
I think it’s ever-shifting and ever-evolving, so if the state of the family and how we see it is evolving. We will miss a lot if we have the same mindset that we had 40 years ago. So we have to grow with thinking along with the family. The family by choice is something nobody talked about 40-50 years ago, but if I choose to have you as my brother. That is just as strong a bond as if we were biologically connected because I chose you as my brother. So this family evolution begs us to evolve our thinking with it as well. If we also see the importance of a nuclear family as a family unit, that's a unit. There is no normal when you talk about family. It is only normal within the family. If you start to compare families, it becomes abnormal. So if we can understand that the most critical family is my family and if I can finalize and stand on what normal means for us, I don’t have to compare because it’s not my job. If I can make my unit understand how I operate.
[16:00] How do individuals affect the collective family?
I think it starts with the concept that the sum is greater than the whole and is greater than the sum of its parts. Individuals are critically important. In the book I’m currently doing, I talk about individuals better understanding themselves. If you as an individual understand yourself, you become a better husband, friend, brother, and so on. So the understanding and curiosity we should have within the individual serve the greater whole. Make sure you understand yourself. The individual is important, but that whole line moving together in unison is much more important than an individual. But it doesn’t diminish the importance of that individual either. One of the struggles is that multiple agendas are competing.
[19:10] How does somebody get to know themselves?
Just like getting to know another individual. You see other individuals by spending time with them, learning their quirks, learning what they like, where you blend with them, and so on. Knowing the self is quite similar. You have to spend time with yourself to know yourself. Before I can be a good husband and dad, I have to be a good Quarry for Corey. So working to understand myself, becoming aware of how I see the world, and how I develop the system that I move with is essential because, too often, we get value systems implanted in us, and we don’t question them for the rest of our lives. Leaning in to understand better and be curious about who we are and how we came to be who we are is essential. It does a great job of serving us in our relationships with others if we can improve ourselves.
[22:58] How did you balance that with being self-deprecating?
I think this self-deprecation is a space that serves us best with others. I'm self-deprecating with people, and I think it’s a move to be one down with people. It diminishes on purpose. I seek to reduce myself in this conversation with you because I want to be down. After all, if we’re own down, others will be able to engage.
[28:22] What prompted you to write this book, and who is the book for?
I think the book is for anywhere from a kid from age 13 because I wrote in a way that a young person can get a hold of something. It can be served throughout the lifespan. I think this was inspired by a documentary I did with De Mar DeRozan, one of my dogs that I sincerely liked in league with Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry. I had said that I wanted to write a book while running my Ph.D. program, and part of me thought of what I was attacking with it. But then, i said, let the reader find you. It will be better if it finds you. The book came to see me because I did what I was supposed to do when it found me. The inspiration built over time as I began constructing therapeutic support, working in the NBA. I think that’s what inspired me to write the book. I think the book is excellent for athletes because athletes have been sold a bill of goods that they should be something. You can do a lot of things. Also, if you are an individual that seeks to know yourself better, the book is definitely for you.
[37:44] How do you navigate the challenges of becoming who you want to be?
You just described a concept in the psychological realm called negative self-talk. Negative conversations move in an echo, pushing out the opportunity for the echo chamber to be full of positivity. So like the book is saying, you do whatever you like with it. It is terrible if you can't figure out what you want as a man. You have to be aware of what’s wrong, and then you can start to make a shift.
[48:26] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
This is going to be a cat that will be in your corner. If you engage with him, you won't have to wait a long time before you can figure out if you can trust him or not.
Key Quotes
[34:04-34:06] According to Nelson Mandela, we never lose. We either win or learn.
[40:20-40:22] To be you is to be the authentic you, unashamed
How to connect with Corey Yeager
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcoreyyeager/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drcoreyyeager/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/drcoreyyeager
Tue, 25 Oct 2022 - 50min - 342 - Let it be Easy, and be Happy Now with Susie Moore
In this episode, our guest is Susie Moore. She is a confidence coach who helps people love their temporary, fleeting life. She is also the author of three books. Everybody who is bright and joyful has had some bad times. Today, we will go through her bad times and how she has been able to make successful shifts.
[1:45] Why should I listen to you?
Do you want to feel better? Hang out with me. My foundational intention everywhere I go is to be an uplifter, so if somebody approaches me, I take them seriously.
[3:45] Can you guide us through the journey that allowed this mentality?
We teach what we need to learn and write the books we need to read. When I was growing up, I had a lot of changes. I grew up with my mom and sisters and saw a lot of chaos. There were constant changes. If you have been abused or have an addiction, you will know what you experienced is about humans not feeling safe about how tomorrow will turn out. As a young adult, I thought I would get a job, have a husband and live a normal life. I thought I would figure out everything in my twenties. I was cool at first, making 500k a year. I got married and divorced. I got married to a new husband, but I was constantly feeling anxious at any moment. I was unable to take a breath, and I think this is very common for a lot of people. We try to control things. We are scared about how things are not in place, and I just don’t look at life from that perspective anymore. Knowing that this is safe and I consciously tune into it, it’s helping me, and there is no going back.
[7:25] Did you ever feel like you didn’t deserve the success you have?
Yes. First, when we grow up with a lot of anxiety and change. We can create expectations in our lives that are familiar. Even if it’s not good, we are comfortable because we are used to it. Secondly, I allowed myself to enjoy whatever it is I create. You need the courage to be happy. Maybe everything good that is happening, I can want while solving other problems. We can look at our background, but it should not be an excuse not to create something different for ourselves. You can choose to decide what your life will be, and for me, this is where the real magic starts from. There is magic available for you to be robust and create something different. What do I believe about this situation? Is it true? What else is true? I look at my younger self and just want to hug her. I have met a lot of women who use the word tierce, and strong but what about a relaxed woman? You can achieve big things in that way too.
[13:22] How did you figure out navigating your experiences, and why did you start teaching others?
I remember when a lady asked a guest speaker how he’s always available for events despite his busy schedule, and he said well, my body is busy, but my mind is still, and I saw that as a revolution. It’s possible. It’s just that we don’t think it’s available. The one calm, simple practice that allows me to retain my steadiness when I experience a negative emotion in my body, I always ask myself what I believe at that moment. Because at that moment, I’m rejecting reality. I think something is wrong or needs to be fixed, but whatever it is, I ask myself what I believe in that situation, whether it is positive or negative, and then like a detective, I will lovingly look to if something is wrong.
[18:42] What’s the first time that happened to you?
I remember having a coworker always flying off the handles when the management changed things. Whenever there is something wrong, she’s always like a machine gun. I was curious about it and noticed her when she was stressed. Through that, I began seeing how I act when stressed. It’s possible to have different reactions to things; through that, I became obsessed with learning different responses. In relationships, I was like, maybe there is something I can pay attention to and see what I’m creating. I have a relaxed husband who helped me get through my fears of something going wrong in my marriage. Sometimes, we are just not paying attention and learning by paying attention to things. I just want to live life and be happy at all times.
[22:35] Do you have a big goal in life?
I have goals, and I remember working towards them. I do my best because my dreams are apparent. What I know is that the actual accomplishments are very short-lived. Whether it's your wedding day or you just got a new job, these moments are important but short-lived. Life is the same. The actual win we get, we become so used to them that it doesn't make us happy as we think it should. So I think about different situations in my life-being present, being available, having great relationships, being silly, trusting my intuition, and being spontaneous. At this stage in life, I've promised myself to be at peace with myself no matter what happens.
[26:00] Do you mind sharing what your book is about and who it is meant for?
The book is a sensual collection of chapters talking about different topics. I speak about grief, the need to defend yourself, strange family relationships, divorce, etc. I said of the reality of living. It is different for everybody, but I speak about my story, which is present in everybody’s story. I shared so many different experiences that revolved around different things. I looked into different problems and different solutions for them. For example, I shared a lady's predicament of not enjoying her marriage, and I gave her different solutions-maybe. You need a little spice in your sex life. Maybe you must stop being too serious and playful with your partner. Various solutions are always available, and I'm obsessed with getting whatever I want. I almost don't care about what happens, even though I care. You are not moved by other boats lurking around you at this stage. Don't let one person be the reason why you are happy.
[45:34] Where can I send people to learn more about you?
I have this podcast where we speak about things that can help you improve that we don't even realize. I do daily episodes of about 5 to + minutes, and you can listen when making a coffee or having your skincare routine.
[46:19] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I believe that we have something to contribute, which is exceptionally unique and essential, and I think the promise is that whatever happens, I can still have a good time.
Key Quotes
[22:13-22:16] Don’t care too much about goals that you ignore your happiness.
[42:35-42:37] There are no straight lines in nature
How to connect with Susie Moore
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susie.moore
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/susiemoore.writer
Tue, 18 Oct 2022 - 49min - 341 - The Truth About Hormones with Josh Whalen
In this episode, our guest is Josh Whalen. He is the CEO and founder of Joiwellness. His story is about saving his marriage and how he found a passion for helping others save their marriage. Today, we will learn about his aww shift, how it's shaped his life, and how we can learn from his personal experiences.
[4:30] Why should I listen to you?
Whether on a podcast show or a coffee shop, or we are running into each other for the first time, I think I’m an honest, authentic guy, either good, better, or ugly.
[5:21] Can you guide us through your journey to this point?
We have two versions of our brand. We have the men’s side, books, and joy on the women’s side. Stepping back to how the company started was my struggle. I’m one of the men whose wife told him to get his shit together or he’s going to receive a divorce letter, and mine happen to be my sex drive. I was in my early thirties trying to figure out why. I went through my journey, which was a challenging and exciting story. And I finally figured out what hormones, testosterone, are and how important it is for men. I found that there are more accessible ways for many women to get therapists, and that's how my brand was born.
[7:33] How did you find a solution to this?
I have been an entrepreneur in healthcare for 14 years. I like business, adventure, creating, and solving problems. As my struggle started, our clinic shut down for about seven solid months. As that happened, I knew I had to find a way out, and it felt amazing. It changed my life, my wife, my children, and my marriage. With business failing and a lot happening, I had to take advantage of it. I was driven to save other men because I knew I was not the only one going through that. I hate divorce, and luckily, what our company does now keeps divorce. I saw massive opportunities, and it was indeed a combination of many things.
[10:33] What was the initial point of doing this entrepreneur thing?
There are quite a few. One is compliance, knowing health care. This is not my first time in the healthcare industry. Also, knowing that you need a license in each state, a DEA to prescribe and control substances. Everybody knows that we are different. We don’t sell pills alone. We solve the problems from the inside out, but if you need pills, we can help solve those issues. But we are genuinely here to optimize individuals and solve those problems from the inside out. It is a challenge, and you have to conduct in-depth research, and we do that regularly. It allows us to build a solid rapport with our patients, and we do nothing less than 30 minutes call with each patient. So many chemical reactions in our bodies tell us how to act or feel every day.
[15:40] What are the physical benefits of having a sex drive?
If I look at the testosterone rate, there is an optimal range, and you don’t want to be on that side. Both the low and high have significant health ramifications. We evolve on what we know about optimal testosterone and how it helps with the heart, energy level, cholesterol, and mood swings. Uch is a pol tool, and we are still evolving to it.
[16:35] How do you know how much is low and how much is high?
This is the kind of issue I have with western medicine. Everything in terms of what we know now is a range; we are based on that range of many other individuals in our general market. For example, healthy testosterone starts from 300 to 1000, and you know when your levels are good or bad. I can tell you that there is a massive difference between 300 and 1000. What we try to do is take a lot of symptoms-based questions and combine them with verifications and confirmation of blood. Most of our guys are somewhere between 700 and 11000 regularly. We don’t like to see people because of what the general population defines. We want the best for every guy out there.
[18:35] How does somebody know when to make this decision?
I think that decisions lie with every individual. I look at testosterone in two buckets: needs and wants. Some guys are genuinely on a spectrum, and some may not feel themselves. Maybe they’ve gained some belly fat, are not working out as much as they want, and so on. You know your body, and sometimes your partner might know you better than you know yourself. She might be giving you these nudges. That happens to me; I think it's an individual or family decision. In my own opinion, there is a lot that goes on with masculinity. We are not taking care of ourselves, and that’s because we are being taught to toughen up, and I think we need to start talking about it more.
[33:10] How did the joi concept come, by the way?
To dive back into my own story and why my testosterone level dropped, my wife and I had four miscarriages in about four years. Little do people know that when a woman goes through this process of having kids, the men’s hormones change automatically. I went through the process of trying to make things work. My wife conceived and breastfed the child and wanted to return to her regular version. She saw that my progress with me was not as efficient as before. My wife is a phenomenal part of the business now. Women resolve 80% of healthcare issues, a combination of our struggles.
[40:32] What’s the process people go through, whether with you or somebody else?
I will put them in two different categories. You should start with a lab to determine where you are and begin with one-on-one coaching sessions, and then, at that point, you can collect or determine what is best for you. Our process is easy. They will ask you questions, and then our team will contact you. Then, we will set you up on lab and s, video call, and determine if you are the right candidate for the therapy and drugs. If it requires injection, we also help you make that decision.
[42:45] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
To get the authentic side of me.
Key Quotes
[26:08-26:10] We need someone to talk to, whether it’s your guy, wife, or a random person.
[28:40-28:43] The more you do something, the better you feel at it.
How to connect with Josh Whalen
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whalen_joshua/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/getblokes/videos/our-founder-josh-whalen-
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Tue, 04 Oct 2022 - 45min - 340 - What every entrepreneur needs to learn in order to become the CEO with Jason Harris of Mekanism
In today's episode, our guest is Jason Harris. He is the co-founder and CEO of the award-winning creative advertising agency- Mekanism and the co-founder of the creative alliance. He is also the author of a National best-seller, the Soulful Art of Persuasion, and today we will be unraveling how he has been able to make aww shifts happen for himself.
[3:13] Why should I listen to you?
I think I have a read on people and give quality sound-based advice based on each individual's experience.
[4:05] What made you comfortable about giving quality advice to others?
I've gone through a lot of personal and professional experience. I have done a lot of therapy and love mentoring people. One belief I discussed in my book is that every interaction with someone is meaningful. That's my mindset when interacting with anyone.
[5:15] What were the lessons that taught you that?
When I started as an entrepreneur, I hoarded my contacts. The way you network with people, the way you connect with people, and the way you look out for people. Everyone wants to succeed. It should not be about your success only but your network's success. It's about your community's success. That idea boomerangs effect of giving things freely to others, whether it's advice, counsel, connections, or mentoring. You're giving something to someone but getting something back when you do that. You're getting the power of influence and giving, which is good for your soul and spirit. It was a learned skill for me. I had to practice generosity until it became a habit, which has done so much for me.
[8:15] How did Jason develop as a human to eventually become a CEO in life?
Many still struggle with figuring out their passion and what they want to do. I was fortunate because I was a high school kid and knew I wanted to go into advertising. I knew my passion, enabling me to work in other companies. I'd carry a notebook and learn from the people who managed the company and me. I knew I was an entrepreneur at heart. I was eager to learn from other entrepreneurs before starting my company. When I set up my company 17 years ago, I set up values that the company would uphold. I didn't know I would become the world's best CEO, but I see how you treat people and how they feel at your company is essential. That was the culture.
It's about talent and culture, which served me well. I also believe that the other most important thing in leadership is transparency. When things are good and evil, changes you have to make, where you want to go, and what the vision is-the more, you talk to the company along the way, bring them up to speed, not taking decisions with people beyond closed doors. That's transparency.
[10:55] How did you get to the point where you feel comfortable opening up to others in your company?
I think you have to get over your ego. There is an old-school leadership style where you always feel like you're totally in control, but I don't think that resonates today. I think what resonates today is being honest about problems you're going through in the company. You can have a plan on how to get through it, but everybody responds to being in the know. I think that's a foundational way of being transparent. You don't have all the answers; you need help as a leader too, which allows other people to be true to themselves even when communicating with a client.
[14:18] Why is taking care of people beyond work important to you as a CEO?
I'm a big proponent of leading with vulnerability and transparency. I want each of our foundational values to be weird. Weird in that we want people to show up as who they are. We do not want a work persona and an outwork person. We want them to come in with their point of view. But in terms of mental health, I think it's essential for leadership to show the importance of healthcare. Mental healthcare is as important as physical healthcare. We're at a time when we went through a pandemic. A lot is going on out there. I schedule my mental health and encourage my leaders to do the same. I have two slots weekly to take care of my mental health through meditation or therapy, which helps flex my emotional muscles.
[18:10] Have you seen the company grow since this was infused?
It has created a more collaborative open environment with a feeling of togetherness. There is enough hardship in the world. There shouldn't be battles inside you. We hire professionals, but we fire them if we find out they are working against the company culture.
[20:30] What led to choosing values for your company?
There wasn't a sort of one key catalyst that I could point to. I just got to a point in my career where I know what I'm doing and asked myself if I'm genuinely fulfilled. I started figuring out through therapy what success means to me and how I can balance my personal and professional life. I did group therapy with nine people once a week. It's about learning how to deal with yourself and people's notions about you.
[26:40] What prompted you to write a book?
The idea came from starting a business. I'm an avid reader who loves self-help and business books, and I didn't think there was a book out there that talked about how important creating your character is in being successful in the business world. So that's why the soulful persuasion was written. You are selling or persuading in any business, and you've got to do that to build any business. I talked about principles, playing the long game, being successful with character, and so on. For me, it is based on personality, and if you have a good feeling and follow some principles, I think you, too will have success, and that's what prompted me to write a book.
[43:28] How do blindspots show up, and how do you approach them?
Blindspots come up at different points in our life but giving yourself space to reflect is not the first thing to do. Someone afraid of getting help could be avoiding difficult conversations. It could be pointing fingers at other people. I think giving yourself space to reflect is not number one. I think jotting down situations that you wish may be handled differently during or at the end of the day is good. You can examine those things and see how you reacted to certain things and situations. Embracing challenges is another one if you are avoiding hard conversations. If you're letting your ego into the way, try to move outside yourself and look at those challenges as growth opportunities. That is where growth comes from because we all have blind spots but learn to overcome them.
[46:09] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
Treating everyone in the world as if we are all equal because we are all equal on this earth.
Key Quotes
[43:18-43:25] If you feel helpless and that there is no one listening to you, this could be opening a blind spot of opening up to someone.
[44:40-44:42] Taking time for self-reflection will help uncover and overcome your blind spots.
How to connect with Jason Harris
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jason_harris/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jasonharriswinter
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-harris-29abb12
Tue, 27 Sep 2022 - 48min - 339 - The Power of Intention with Vishen Lakhiani
In today’s episode, our guest is Vishen Lakhiani. He is a creator, developer, and entrepreneur who has created things for the benefit of others. He is not just a dreamer but an implementor of ideas. His ability to create something and impact lives are incredible, and today we will be unraveling his journey.
[4:40] Why should I listen to you?
Because I get America and Astonia, I probably have done all the most fantastic and fun things in Astonia.
[8:00] What is the origination of your impactful combination?
To provide a better education than 99% of the world's universities. You have to know that education is inaccurate, and better education and understanding how we are doing that. It's not worth building upon the whole foundation. You've got to create a new foundation that is entirely different. Let's talk about the first five pillars. First, most schools inarguably teach nonsense. Most of us get stuck in life with our relationships, jobs, and careers, but we do not learn this. So we first look at how humans can be better and make that a curriculum. We currently measure 300 different aspects of human development. We also look at relationships, health, mindset, and spiritual aspects. We believe that if these areas are well concentrated, the world will provide better kids. We also offer the best teachers with beautiful books with a license.
[16:20] What are the innovations that got you here now?
It started in 2001. I moved with $30k to move a company and had this community tech idea on how to go about it. I figured out a way to launch it and felt like I had wasted a lot. I started working in a company at 25 and figured out that it was more complicated than I had thought. I was to sell books, and nobody was buying them. Somewhere I got on google, and I started searching for help. I attended a class I was the only one who attended, and the first thing I learned was intuition. Now, I'm using my intuition. I guessed who to call, and I only called who my mind was on, and my sales doubled. My sales doubled, and I keep going down into it through that. I became the vice-president of sales with no prior background. I stayed in the company for 18 years till I had the intuition to leave. One of the things we do is collaborate with the growth marketing team, and when we find excellent stuff, we work hand in hand and put all of these programs on one platform, and the company starts skyrocketing.
[25:55] What was the process behind writing your new book?
I decided to study meditation deeply and learned every aspect of it. I went deep into it and found out that most people quit out of boredom. It is different from the kind of meditation that wants you to stop. You can't calm an entrepreneur's mind because their mind is always creating. But someone believes you must clear your mind and focus on your thoughts. There are six phases of meditation. The first three things are compassion practice, gratitude, and forgiveness. Forgiveness is essential, and studies have shown that it helps to improve our brains and daily lives. The subsequent three phases visualize your future, commanding your day perfectly, and phase six, asking for support from a higher power. I see God as someone I can turn to for higher capacity. When you do it every day, it changes the way you show up in the world.
[31:45] How do you master your day?
Most of the time, when we wake up, we are not intentional about how our day will unfold. It depends on where you are, but if you are on the negative side of life, being deliberate works best. Most people start their day on default, but if you believe you have power over how you experience life, you are good to go. It all starts with your brain. You will be in charge when you command how you want your day to be. When you go to a restaurant, and something terrible happens, you might not be upset because your mind already believes you will have a fantastic lunch. It goes on and on. Meditating leads to a perfect day, and a perfect day leads to an ideal month, an excellent month to an outstanding year, and a perfect year to an ideal life.
[45:03] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I would be a person who would connect thousands of people in business partnerships, marriages, friendships, etc.
Key Quotes
[22:35-22:37] If you want to change the world, change education.
[36:14-36:17] Commanding your day puts you in a fantastic place of power
How to connect with VISION LAKHIANI
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vishen/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vishenlakhiani/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/vishen?lang=en
Tue, 20 Sep 2022 - 47min - 338 - Biohacking Your Most Optimal Self with Michael Brandt
In today's episode, our guest is Michael Brandt. He is the creative product founder of Ketone IQ. This is not an ad, but today, we will unravel how he figured out the product and its whole process.
[2:32] Why should I listen to you?
When I meet people, I try to make them smile or laugh. I don't think you should talk to me because I am a CEO or successful. The reason why you should speak to me is that we are hitting it off at the present moment.
[4:10] How did you become the human you are today?
I didn't always fit in at school. I got a lot of check marks on my report card for areas to improve my behavior. I never felt like I was doing something wrong. I did my homework. I wasn't a bad kid, but I got a lot of beef marks against me, which gave me an exciting stance regarding the authorities and system. My parents didn't like that I always got check marks on my cards, but they were generally with me. They believe I'm not a troublemaker and always advise me not to upset my teacher too much. They didn't overly scold me but understood me and the school system. That's part of what made me back in the day.
[6:19] What was your journey through high school/college like?
I had the good fortune of getting into Stanford for college. I was surprised that I got in because I don't think I have the intellectual caliber, but my grades were solid. I did a lot of extracurricular activities. I took advantage of all the resources I could and majored in computer science. I'm not coding in my day job, but it taught me complex principles about good system designs. I have always been interested in new technologies coming out of the world and the user experience they offer. I also worked at Youtube as a product manager, and I also worked on the autoplay feature.
[9:12] Was it something you mind doing, or did you have to build the failure?
I'm not afraid of failure; it has helped me step into a new area in my life so many times. People try to tell us that we are not good at new things, which can have significant cognitive dissonance with our sense of ego. Everyone has general self-confidence, and I think everyone is good at at least one item. As you get good at that thing, it contributes back to your pool of confidence. After graduating from college, I realized that the human body is the next platform for innovation. I got into biohacking, and I was into nootropics, trying many different things. I started getting into marathon running. And I got good pretty quickly. I started taking the engineering approach to my own body.
[16:55] Can you unpack your journey on this path?
For me, it was essential to go into a macro space with other factors that contribute to the success of that space. We launched a company called nutribox, which was one of the first nootropics company shark tanks. We got covered in the New York Times, Bloomberg, and businesses everywhere.
[23:23] Can you break down the benefits of ketones in somebody's life?
Humans are unique species in life. Your body has two energy systems, which are the sugar energy carbohydrate energy system and the fat ketone energy system. Your body can store so many carbs; if you don't eat for a day or two, you will run out of your carb store. An interesting fact is that babies are the only primate that has fat. Primates don't have fat as infants, and the reason is that humans don't always have carbohydrate availability. Your body needs to be able to supply your brain with energy, and that energy comes from fat/ketones. Whenever your brain is doing a high degree of activity and stress, you need power from somewhere, and when you have ketos, you can strengthen yourself with it. It doesn't stop your body from producing its ketones. It's for refueling your body when required.
[32:22] What was your AWW shift moment like?
I do not consider myself the best, but I can communicate effectively. My aww shift moment is figuring out that I am good at all the languages in the stack. My special talent, which I realized at a certain age, was the ability to translate across all of those languages, making sense for me to be a CEO. I was able to connect with different people. I don't need to be the most intelligent person in the room, but I hire the smartest people in a particular field. Even as a kid, I wanted to be a technologist, and right now, I am into ketones, which is my happy place. I do not know the future, but I'm cool with it if it's my lifetime work.
[53:48] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
Whatever is positive and beautiful in the world, I will amplify them every day. Anything that is of good energy, I will amplify it and help other people see it.
Key quotes
[44:22-44:24] People are always looking for an end place
[45:39-45:42] No matter what you accomplish, there is always a level above it
How to connect with Michael Brandt
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bdm_runner/?hl=en
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/thebenazadi/posts/529855252260461/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/bdm_runner?lang=en
Tue, 13 Sep 2022 - 55min - 337 - How to Make a Living Doing What You Love with Amy Porterfield
In today’s episode, our guest is Amy Porterfield. She is an online entrepreneur and also helps other entrepreneurs build successful online businesses and profitable digital courses. She has been able to make successful shifts happen by building a business and a family. Today, we will be unraveling her journey and how you can also implement her ideas on how to be better.
[3:35] Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because if you are interested in starting an online business, you need to hear from someone in that field first. If you are looking for honesty and want to know what the online business looks like, I'm your girl.
[4:10] Where did you get the strength to dive into this business?
I would say that I'm a corporate girl turned entrepreneur. I left corporate for entrepreneurship. When I became an entrepreneur, I held back my experience, struggles, challenges, and pains because I felt like I was a professional person and I should keep it that way in my business too. No one wants to hear about the struggles behind the scenes, just the good sides, and I began to realize that I was wrong. My audience didn't really know me, and it affected the kind of connection that I wanted to build with them. There was a podcast video where I shared my deepest secrets with my audience, and my audience turned out to love them. They love it, and I realize that people love genuine human connections.
[6:30] What was your experience of recording and posting your first video like?
There were so many moments that I decided that I was not going to post them. I reached out to one of my friends, and she said that I was not being honest enough. I needed to be real and share where I was emotionally ill. She said I should tell my whole story, stress and all that affects it. There were many times that I felt like not posting the video, but she encouraged me to be real and share it with my audience. At first, it was scary, but at the same time, I felt relieved. I felt like something was taken away from my shoulders, and that was the point where I started to love myself more.
[8:30] How did your journey from being an employee to an entrepreneur take place?
I struggled with my doubts and fears. I worked for Hally Davidson and I was at the marketing level and I moved over to work for Robbins. I was the director of content, and I was privileged to travel around the world with her to create quality content on stage. It was incredible, but something happened. One day, Robbins brought some marketing guys into the office. She asked me to come in and take notes. This is very humbling and, through that, I was able to learn from their business. All I heard was freedom. These guys talked about how they are their bosses and how they are doing what they love. For the first time in my life, I realized that I was not free. I have been working for someone else ever since I got my first job. From that point on, I decided to learn and took the lead. At the time, I was doing social media for small businesses, but over the years I have been able to transit into something I love.
[10:50] Did you start as a side business or did you quit your job first?
I'm a really big fan of the side hustle. I got clients when I was still working with Robs. I also had a few clients when I left, but it was a step of little faith. I quit at a point and, for two years, I did service work. What I hated about it was that I wasn't working with people one on one. I could not keep up with their dominance. I didn't gain the freedom that I thought I would, but I didn't stop the process. I continued to try until I was able to figure out everything.
[12:35] What gave you hope that changing something would create what you would love?
I am really big on getting clear. What do I want and why do I want it? I left Robins because I knew I wanted to be my own boss. It was very clear that when I got into the business that I hated, I didn't go to get my job back. I tried to figure it out until it was clear to me. I often tell my students that my why was selfish. It was all about me because I didn't want to answer to anybody.
[14:20] How did you navigate your personal life with your family life?
My husband was all for it because he needed me to be around, but the secret behind it was that I got into my business and I became obsessed with it. It was my baby, and three years into it, he called me down and told me about how I was engrossed in my business. I wasn’t focused on my family. I was barely around. My marriage is my everything and that talk was a wake-up call. I had to do something about it, so I retraced my steps. I started to think of how I could run a business that wouldn't hurt me or my personal life. It took me many years, but today I can work perfectly well without hurting myself or my family. I struggled with it, but I had to get clear on what my priority was and how my work wouldn't affect it.
[20:34] How do you teach other people and what does the journey look like for them?
The first thing that I always talk to my students about is getting clear on why they are starting. Because on the days when worries will knock them to the ground, their whys will be the only thing to push them back up. We do start just like how I started. I also tell my students that the worst day of being an entrepreneur is the best day of being an employee somewhere, and I let them understand their mindset and why they have to inspire themselves because the journey is tough. That's where we start when we want to start an online business.
[27:00] What's the next step people should take?
The next step is to start growing your email list. Let's talk about this. Sometimes when people hear me say this, they say it takes so long. Your email list is one of the most important assets in your business. One thing we know is that social media is powerful in marketing your business, but times may change and boom, your marketing strategy gets affected. This happens all the time, and studies have shown that email is more than 4x better than any social media platform if you do it right. When Facebook and Instagram went down the same day and a lot of shits happened, I still made a lot of money even though social media platforms were down. This happened with the implementation of email. You can make money with your email list. Just keep growing your email list every day. Do not stop; it will make you more money.
[44:16] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
The promise that God made to the world when he created me was that I would absolutely have compassion for others no matter what.
Key Quotes
[13:45-13:50] Just be honest about your why so that it can move you forward to where you want to go.
[28:13-28:16] You are building your business on rented land if you think you own your social media platform.
How to connect with Amy Porterfield
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyporterfield/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amycporterfield
Twitter: https://twitter.com/amyporterfield?lang=en
Tue, 06 Sep 2022 - 46min - 336 - This Will Make You Rethink Your Parenting with EksAyn Anderson
He is a speaker and author and has also been featured on Forbes, TV shows, and business blogs. In this episode, we will uncover how he has been able to make successful shifts happen.
[3:30] Why should I listen to you?
I was eight years old when my mum died. I knew what life was like before she died and what life was like after she died. There are tiny little things she did when I was young that still profoundly affect me today.
[4:40] How did you handle that experience at that age?
When I was a kid, I drew trees with branches, but I changed my style at one point. I started to draw them in the way that the other kids did. I followed them just because I wanted to fit in. There was also a time when I went out to play league with the other kids, and when I got back home, mom suffered from a severe headache. I remember hugging her and telling her that I loved her. I was scared and anxious till the following day. The next morning, when I woke up, I saw only my dad with many friends and neighbors.
What happened was that mom had a cerebral hemorrhage, and a blood vessel in her brain had burst. She was declared dead and was on life support. The life support was taken off, and she was declared dead. How do you think I draw trees now? I pull them the way my mom wants. I draw them in a way my mom would have loved if she had been alive. I've learned that what we do in our homes as dads or parents in our families will be more profound than what we do at work. Our grandkids won't care about what we did at work but what we did as a father and a parent. Our roles as parents affect us so much that the generations will do them.
[14:50] Do you think there is a part of her that still lives in you through how you parent your kids?
Well, I hope so. Not everything I learned from my parents was 100%. Some were painful experiences, but I think that the things she did affect my kids today. I think they will affect many generations, my grandchildren, and it will go on for a very long time.
[16:10] Do you mind sharing your family dynamics?
I have a wonderful wife, a spiritual supermodel, and five great children. I have realized in parenting that we try to punish them when they don't do something right. However, if you want a behavior in your kids to grow, you water the behaviors you want to see grow with attention. I was horrible at parenting for the first few years, but I learned. One day, my daughter walked up to me and told me about how she made her bed, prepared her lunch, and all. It was a behavior that I would love to see grow in her, and I praised her for what she did. Fortunately, she did it again. Anytime she did, I acknowledged those behaviors, and she did them again and again.
As dads, we have a unique ability to find strength in our kids.
I think it's appropriate for us to acknowledge the excellent behavior of our children. It does not have to be every time. It is more effective when it is staggered.
[28:09] How do you navigate being a father of five kids?
It's fascinating. If we look for opportunities, kids want to do hard things. But sometimes, they are quashed by us. I will tell you a story. When she was five years old, my daughter told me she would love to hike a mountain with me. I could have stoldher that she couldn't, but I asked her why she wanted to do it, and she said she just wanted to. I told her she could do it if she wanted to. I told her we were going to hike for so long that she could feel pain at some point, but she still wanted to. She followed me, and we walked. She walked 15 miles, and when we got to the top of the mountain, there were people up there, and they applauded her. From there, she got the confidence to do a lot of stuff.
[48:23] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I do not know if I know the answer quite yet, but I know that I am on a mission to help as many marriages and families as possible because it's the thing that will benefit society more than anything. We need enough excellent parents and dads.
Key Quotes
[17:00-17:10] The best way to influence your kids is to catch them doing something right.
[21:40-21:47]. If you don't consciously look for the good all the time, the default is to find what's wrong all the time.
[32:36-32:40] As a dad, our job is to help our kids be tough enough to survive life even when we are not there.
How to connect with Eksayn Anderson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eksayn_anderson/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EksAyn/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EksAyn/
Tue, 30 Aug 2022 - 51min - 335 - Joel Green- Making life better through basketball
In today's episode, our guest is Joel Green. He is the national director of Mickey Sports Games. He is also a speaker, and today we will be unraveling how he's been able to make aww shift happen for himself.
[2:55] Why should I listen to you?
I have seen things go around the world. I have seen a lot through multiple lenses, not from a subjective bias but from honesty and facts.
[5:20] Can you take us back through your journey?
My journey was excellent, but a fundamental shift happened. My brother died, which made me have a different approach to life. When it came to my brother's death, I wished it had not happened. However, I don't know if I would have accomplished all of these without that incident happening. I'm sure I would have found a way. When he passed, it was a moment that I carried with him. I realized that life is real. In my family, nobody had died a tragic death before him. Many things clicked, and I finally started to do something I needed to. I wish it hadn't happened, but with all the other stuff surrounding my growth, I'm glad it happened—no regret whatsoever.
[8:50] How did you get the support you needed to escape that situation?
My parents are preachers. I grew up in a place where faith exists. You have to have faith. When I was eight years old, I got into trouble for saying that I didn't have faith. We were not allowed to use the 'i can't' word. So, having parents trained me to have faith and believe that I can be my support. My faith and my parents were my support system.
[20:40] What's your college journey like?
I've been competing professionally since after basketball. I grew up with my brother. He did everything to make sure that I was protected. My parents went into the military, a journey for me as a child. I'd say that I went to 14 different schools as a toddler, but I enjoyed every bit of it. I was loved, cherished, and well protected.
[23:13] What was your post-college journey like?
The main struggle was ensuring I was wholly balanced on all sides. The reality of life dawned on me. There is a situation I can remember. My coach pulled me out of the gym to ask me what was happening. I discovered that I appeared calm on the outside, but I was struggling with who I was. My identity wasn't fading away. My coach and I talked at length. It was the most challenging time. I didn't want to be seen. I had an identity crisis, but I pulled through.
[33:18] What do you talk about when you are invited to a conference/seminar?
I've done several keynotes on goals. I speak so much on "Despite." There are many opportunities out there, but people lose them because of what they are going through. The fact is, even in times of distress, there are still opportunities. I encourage people to work hard to get where they want to be. No matter how hard it is, you have to move forward. You have to push forward.
[37:38] What are some things you did in your hard times that people can benefit from?
I make sure that I take another step. I make sure that my movement does not stop. It does not mean that I can't express my emotions. I do. But I do that while moving. I try to figure out what is going on, but I do not get stuck in it. I get rid of the pain while driving. The mistake we make is trying to get rid of the pain without figuring out what caused the pain. You must figure out why it happened before permanently removing it.
[41:07] What is the giant picture of what you are doing now?
It is a life of impact. I was impacting others with my ways of experience. Everything is working out for me, but I feel my purpose is influencing others. I have been through depression, pain, and struggles, and I pulled through. I believe that I didn't go through that alone for myself but for everybody else I might come into contact with. I want to help people mentally, physically, emotionally, and so on.
[43:10] Do you still have trouble sharing certain things?
My journey wasn't easy. It took years before I started opening up to others. It is hard for me to open up whenever I'm going through stuff. But at a point, I began to share my pain with others. The first time I shared my journey was the first time I cried publicly. It was a teary moment, but I knew I wanted to do it again. Not just for myself, but because it was helpful to others.
[47:28] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That the world will be better through me.
Key Quotes
[40:50-41:00] Figuring out why a problem happened is the key to solving it.
[37:15-37:30] You must keep moving no matter how hard it is.
How to connect with Joel Green
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaygreenplt/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/joelgreen?
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jgreenplt?lang=en
Tue, 23 Aug 2022 - 49min - 334 - Evan Carmichael - The Most Powerful Tool For Success
In this episode, our guest is Evan Carmichael. He is a Youtube master and runs a Youtube channel for entrepreneurs with over 3 million subscribers. He is also the author of 4 books and speaks globally.
[6:00] Why should I listen to you?
If I sit next to you, I’m probably asking you questions about yourself, or I'm just by myself.
[8:00] What has your personality been over the years?
I’m super shy and don't like the camera, so it takes me sometimes on youtube. My biggest fear over the years was becoming famous. The more people know you, the more they get your message, and for me, the note is more important than my face being somewhere. For the first five years, it was essential. I know what people are interested in, so I started teaching “believe.” Most people just need encouragement to keep moving on. Most of what I do is encouragement. For the achievers, they need more support. They want to know how they can get better.
[11:30] Why is “believe” your primary core value?
Everybody has a significant core value, and it allows you to live an intentional life when you figure it out. When you are bringing on a team, you make sure they share the same values as you. If your core value is integrity, your team's core value must be integrity. It changes how everything shows up. Everybody has a critical core value, and you define what it is for you. For me, it is believed to have become a brand. I want people to live everything I make with more “ believe.”
[18:00] What are the things that helped you on this journey?
The thing that helps me is having role models and learning from them. I put on my website how much I’ve grown over the years. I’m not naturally talented. I had to sort out role models and mentors. I want to share with the world, and when I meet someone with integrity, I connect with them.
[21:20] How did you get the idea of compiling clips of people you admire?
There are two reasons for that. First, I wanted it for myself. People like Steve helped my business when I first started. I have never met them, but I learned from their stories. I was doing a lot of research, and my team helped me put clips of people together. Some great entrepreneurs are not great communicators, such as Elon Musk. I'd watch his 4-hour video and get 20 minutes of great content. I wasn’t sharing them at first because it was just for me to learn.
[26:00] What was the thing you were doing before you got into this?
I went to the university because I wanted to become a banker. Entrepreneurship wasn’t my thing. But I connected with this entrepreneur at the university, and I was offered 20% of their company and $300 per month as my salary. I don't think it's going to work. I felt like I could always get another banking job. The first year was the first year of my life. I was super hard on myself, too. My role was the chief operating officer, but I was into everything. I was trying to grow the company, and I did pretty well. At a point, I created a website, and I got collaborators for content.
[28:30] What allowed you to stay stable at that age?
My parents were in the middle class. They enrolled me in a private school and spent all their resources on me. It all happened so fast. I do not know how I stayed stable, but I did a lot of traveling and realized that I didn’t want just to travel and sit by the beach. I didn't want to sell the company, even though my partners wanted to. They went to the US, but I stayed back. I felt lost because I didn't know what I wanted to do next, but I was curious, leading to the website and then youtube. It was an identity shift for me.
[34:30] What was going on in your head that kept moving you in that direction?
I wasn't charismatic or had thousands of followers, but the only thing that kept me going was focusing on who I was rather than who I was not. The singular focus was on getting people to watch the videos. When 50 people watched it, I was excited. I’m ambitious and want to have a considerable impact. It's great to chase huge numbers, but I focused on who I was helping. That helped me to be satisfied and connected to impact. If I saw 50 people, then I've affected 50 people.
[37:13] How did you keep that energy over the years?
My parents, I guess. I’m grateful for everything. There is still a considerable journey ahead, but I get to do everything I need daily. I want to solve the biggest problem- people not believing in themselves.
[47:18] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
It is to show up to people-Service.
Key Quotes
[32:05-32:08] Passion is something that comes out of curiosity. Curiosity is the first step.
[38:20-38:22] If you don't have a comparison, you will remain a big fish in a small pond.
[39:00-39:03] Comparison should be used as an inspiration to kick yourself forward.
How to connect with Evan Carmichael
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evancarmichael/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EvanCarmichaelcom/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/evancarmichael?lang=en
Website: https://believe.evancarmichael.com/homepage
Tue, 16 Aug 2022 - 50min - 333 - Chris Norton - Taking Radical Responsibility Defies Life's Challenges
In this episode, our guest is Chris Norton. He is a cool individual with a heart for God and loves football. He has been in phases of life where most people shut down, but he was able to pull through. He reached a different moment in his life that changed his entire trajectory. He has used this moment to build success not just for himself but for his family and the rest of the world. He has also appeared on multiple network television shows, and a documentary on Netflix called 7 Yards.
[2:50] Why should I listen to you?
I’d say you should listen to me because I’ve got a lot of life experience, and it is always great to hear other people’s perspectives. You should learn things from my experience because it will help your life.
[4:00] Can you give us a quick synopsis of what trends back in your life?
I was just an 18-year-old college boy who was plain and had dreams for himself. I wanted to be a football player, meet my life's love and make a lot of money. But on October 16, 2010, I got injured when I was playing with my teammate. I suffered from a severe spinal cord injury and lost all movement. I had different surgeries, and I was given a 3% chance to be able to move or feel again. I had to do everything in my power to take control of my future, and that was the beginning of my rebirth.
[7:00] What were the emotions you felt at that moment? How long did it take you to know that you could move past this?
It was a long process, and that was the beginning of being emotionless. I wasn’t in any pain. It just felt like a regular football attack. I was numb, and I could not feel any sensation. Nothing worked, no matter how hard I tried to squeeze my hands. The more I say no when I’m being asked to make a move, the more I feel detached from my entire body. I was afraid, but this part of me reminded me to stay calm. I couldn’t do it, but I gave it time. At that point, I decided to face reality, closed my eyes, and blocked everything I didn't want to see. I told God I wouldn’t play football again if he gave me the chance to be able to walk again. Little did I know that God had a bigger plan for me than I had for myself.
[10:20] Where and how did you get the mentality to be honest with yourself?
It’s a gradual step. It is not one day at a time, but one moment at a time. During therapy, I decided to make the most of each hour. I took responsibility. What I call "radical responsibility" is taking responsibility for all the outcomes in your life, such as good and evil, success and failure, and so on. Making excuses for yourself just keeps you stuck. They prevent you from doing what you ought to do. My power lies in my response, and that’s where I channel my energy. I asked myself different questions because I didn’t know what to do or the next step to take. But I decided to get out of that situation, which is the same for everyone. Focusing on what you can’t do is more accessible, but you can make the impossible possible.
[13:17] What are the things that I can use when I face a vessel like this?
Every night, I called myself to sleep because I was terrified about my future. At night, when I had nothing to distract my fears from rushing in, it was always my darkest and most challenging moment. I didn’t have anything to work on, so it was hard to distract myself from these fears. At a point, I could distract myself by engaging in things that challenged me physically and mentally. I indulged in so many things, which helped me, and I believe it can help anyone too. I always think there is a way forward, either by deviance, acceptance or so on. There is a way you can get through this, and there are also a lot of solutions. You just need to accept, define and take responsibility for it.
[19:13] Was your faith in God present before the accident, or was it after the accident?
I have always been with God. My parents dragged me to church every Sunday. They brought me to church, and I showed up. I was listening but wasn’t living my life to the Christian standard. It was an emergency case kind of faith. I held on to my faith at that moment because I knew that I needed something. When my injury happened, it was a time of complete loss, worry, and uncertainty, and I turned back to my faith. I had always been independent outside of God, but I grew my faith by having a dependence on God. God wasn’t in control of my life when it happened, but I turned to him, trusted him, and believed in every one of his words, which turned things around and helped me move forward.
[22:25] How did the whole thing with your family work?
My wife, Emily, was passionate about kids, especially kame from unloving places. She knew from a very young age that she would do that. It was different because I thought everyone had parents like mine. I grew up without realizing how blessed I was to have a family as I do, but she opened my eyes to see how naive and oblivious I was to the facts. She introduced me to the 17-year-old girl she mentored, and we took her in. She went to school and finished high school while she was with us. She later moved out to stay alone. Her absence in the house made us adopt four more kids. Every time we add a child, we can adapt to it. The more you take on more, the more you realize how much your potential can handle.
[31:15] As you look at the next stage of your life, what are the other stuff you focus on to continue working?
I'd say right now. I am doing a lot of reading, reading about philosophy. I think learning never stops, and that is part of the work on how I can be a better dad, husband, and speaker. Being a dad and husband is essential to me, and I pour a lot of love and support even when I'm overwhelmed. As a parent, you just have to show up. No matter how tired you are, you have to make sure that your kids know how special they are and how I also love my wife, who gives them a great example.
[32:50] How does someone strengthen their resilience the way that you have?
It is something that you look back and think about. You remember the things that you have overcome, things that you have achieved, and so on. Those are your proud moments. Being able to reflect on those things is essential, and I'm always considering the people counting on me. What you do and what you say matters because people pay attention to every one of your actions. I believe in examples. I know my kids are looking up to me, watching my examples and how I live my life. These things always help me to do my best and never look back.
[35:10] How much has your wife helped you as a team member?
I’d say it is a life of impact and positive influence. When Emily and I started dating, she became my toughest trainer. She always pushed me to do better, and I walked better with her after a while. At that point, I knew Emily had to be the one to hold my hands. She is someone that brings out the best in me. She has high self-esteem for everyone. She is also very giving, thoughtful, and caring. She loves people regardless of who you are or where you come from. She encourages people to do more and to be better. Emily is an unbelievable team member.
[40:20] What was the drive for adopting kids?
Each time we want to add a family. When we bring them in, we fall in love with them. We wanted them to be part of our lives forever. It was an easy decision because we feel peace in our hearts. We also wanted to be the best in parenting.
[52:14] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I’d say that it is a life of impact, positive influence, and significance. He created me to live a life of meaning by serving Him and positively impacting others.
Key Quotes
[5:30–5:35] If you do nothing, nothing will happen, but if you do something, something will happen.
[11:02–11:06] The more responsibility you can accept, the better your response to adversity will be.
How to connect with Chris Norton
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisanorton16/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chrisanorton16
Twitter: https://twitter.com/chrisanorton16?lang=en
Tue, 09 Aug 2022 - 55min - 332 - Broken to Brilliance: Increasing Your Self-Worth with Jessica Zweig
In this episode. Our guest is Jessica Zweig. She is an award-winning entrepreneur, personal branding expert, the founder and CEO of SimplyBe Agency, and author of Be- A no Bullsh*t Guide to Increasing Your Self Worth and Your Net Worth by Simply Being Yourself. She is big on how to increase your net worth by being yourself. You are suitable for success when you can figure out how to navigate yourself.
[3:09] Why should I listen to you?
Because I genuinely love to know you. I take an interest in who you indeed are. I don't do small talk. I prefer to talk deeply about your trauma and challenges in a soul-to-soul discussion. I create a window for authenticity, so you should listen to me. I don't know if it's a skill, but it has always been my craving. That is what I am attracted to; it has always been a massive shift for me and my life. [7:45] How do you define great success?
I can only speak from my experiences and the people I have been reasonable to work with. Success isn't about accolades, numbers of social media followers, or wealth but true fulfillment. It is a feeling of joy that aligns with who you are born to be. But to be who you indeed are to succeed, you have to activate yourself—activating your life, living your life, and performing your roles despite what people say. Living in integrity is essential, and I don't think you can live a life of success without activating that part first. We are into personal branding, but we do more. We permit our clients to be themselves.
[10:15] What journey led you to the person who does this for others?
I grew up in a place where I was not cool. I was cocky, but I fell in love with theater. I went for an audition. At age 27, I became an entrepreneur and launched my first online business. For most of my life, I was cocky and gooky. I thought I was someone after starting the business. I was calm and all, but a few years later, the company fell apart, and I became financially broke. No money was in my bank account, and I was in debt. I disassociated myself with the person I was working with for the magazine. I disassociated myself from all and started from scratch and did the work. I had to heal and come to terms with who I am. Long story short, I started doing the work. It was when I was 32 that I figured out what I needed to do. I have always been a spiritual person and started to go on a more spiritual journey. I began to figure out my relationship with the divine, and that is how my life started to change.
[13:35] What is the work you are talking about in this conversation?
I learned to take radical honesty and accountability for my mistakes, opportunities, trials, and errors. No one can do that for you. For a long time, I did something wrong. I realized that, and I work in that aspect. I took a lot of retreats and figured out that I needed to take responsibility and be accountable for everything that happened in my life. Feedback is essential, but it has to come from people who want the best for you cos they will tell you the truth. I intentionally invested in people and the environment that will give me Feedback, and I still do that. So that is the work I'm talking about.
[20:54] When you go on this journey with people, what are their unexpected experiences?
We don't ask them about their trauma first. Asides from giving them what they want, we offer them what they need. People hire my team to do a lot of work depending on their goals. We create a methodology and take them through a process that helps them gain clarity. We are majorly into branding, which is clarity. Talk about who you are in a few sentences. So we aim to achieve a crystal clear point on who the person is and what he can bring to the table. That is where we start, and the only way we can begin is if we ask a series of questions about their expertise, being, and all that have shaped them. We are into building their websites and all that defines the brand, but we start by defining the person's core values. We have to ask those questions to get there.
[24:35] What do you truly live for in this whole process? What is your goal?
I started my podcast with people that I have worked with. I make a joke with this saying. If you come into our offices for branding and we don't make you cry, then we are not doing our job. We must crack people up, not because we want to make them cry. We have a moment when we make them feel tense when we read to them about their brand after the whole process. I also feel good when a client reaches out to me to tell me how their business tripled after the branding process. That is one of my favorite moments that reminds me of what I do.
[29:45] What would you say to someone in this terrible situation?
It is a couple of different processes. One of the things that I did was activate. It's so noisy, and our brain is wired to adjust. So it's essential to be quiet so that you can hear your thoughts. It would help if you had personal time. It would help if you were alone. That helped me to create a relationship with myself and also gain clarity. Journeying with myself is the most effective therapy. It helped me to be brave and also be myself. I accepted myself, and that's how I navigate these trying times.
[33:50] Who is your book written for, and what should the reader expect to get out of it?
The book was written for a specific audience, but I believe everyone can learn from it. A book for figuring out who we are. It is for conscious entrepreneurs and people who want to bring authenticity and more humanity to the value that they create. It is also written for people who wish to discover who they are and what they want to do. The book is about personal branding and empowerment. It talks about my journey also, and I would say that the work begins where the book ends. Everybody wants that, so it's not limited to a particular set of people.
[42:25] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I have a key in my heart and believe I am here to help people unlock the divinity inside of them. I want to help people reflect on what makes them special, and I'm on that mission.
KEY QUOTES
[15:05-15:07] The best thing you can do for yourself is to get Feedback.
[17:30-17:32] Feedback is a gift
[22:45-22:50]. What makes us who we are is not the rock bottom but the journey.
How to connect with Jessica Zweig
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicazweig/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simplybe.jessicazweig/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessica_zweig?lang=en
Tue, 02 Aug 2022 - 44min - 331 - Nathan Chan - The Founder Mindset
In today’s episode, our guest is Nathan Chan. He is the CEO of Foundr magazine and is on a mission to create one of the largest brands that support and fuel entrepreneurs worldwide. He also loves to connect with leading entrepreneurs. He also loves to connect with leading entrepreneurs. He believes life is too short to do the work you have today. We will unravel how he made a shift happen and how we can learn from his journey.
[2:48] Why should I listen to you?
I love this question. I think I have unique experiences about what it takes to build and grow successful businesses because, for the past eight years, I have been fortunate to meet people who create life-changing products and services that shake the world. That is something I do not take for granted. The fact that I have been able to speak with millionaires and multimillionaires is enough reason for you to want to hear from me.
[4:38] Do you mind sharing how you entered this space?
I have been on many journeys. I did a lot of deep work on myself beforehand, especially personal development and growth. I read many books about masculinity, and I discovered that I needed to find my life purpose and what I am passionate about. I went back to university and studied marketing. I did some work, but I didn't find it fulfilling. After completing my studies, I was unable to get a job. I started a magazine at one point, taking it with me to every job interview.
[9:05] What was the thing that you were most curious about?
I traveled around the world, and I dreaded going back. I dreaded going back so much; that was where I knew something had to change. I didn’t realize I wanted to start a business. Then I found this thing, I found love with it, and I realized that this is what I am meant to do, and that is the case for curiosity. For me, it is just about finding and doing what you love.
[10:39] Why are so many people living a 9 to 5 role?
I was reading an interesting statistic that states that 50% of people in North America have a side hustle, which is a sign. I think the internet has changed the game and you can create things. You can develop products and services that help somebody and also work again. The internet has enabled us to have a voice, build a community, and so on. More than ever, the internet is giving us the ability to be able to change careers if we want to, and that doesn’t mean starting a business. You can create a company with no experience whatsoever, and you can change your life with it.
[13:48] What are some things you experienced that people don't know?
In the first year of starting, the magazine wasn’t called Foundr. It was called something else, and we were sued by one of the biggest companies in the United States. That was tough, and I can never forget one of my building mentors in those early days. My mentor asked me what I was worried about and what was the worst thing that could ever happen. It was tough at the beginning. I started to build the brand, which entails the products, great design, and ambassadors. I found out that having successful business owners share their stories in the magazines made the brand credible. That is why we have been able to interview more successful founders over time.
[19:46] What is the progress and stage of the brand right now?
I started the business with 2000-3000 USD Dollars, and even in the first 12 months, I used the power of Upwork to work with contractors to fulfill various aspects such as the design. I used to get my mum and dad to help me in their capacities for the magazines. I had a copywriter on Upwork too. I reached out to people who would like to feature in the magazine, write articles, and so on. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I continued. For the team, it happened from gaining more leverage from the content. One interview may be a podcast, blog post, article, or content. We are currently looking to build big brands and relaunch membership products. We started as a small business but have grown into an online educational company.
[25:10] What are you launching, and who is it for?
As I was developing the magazine, I read a blog post about how I grew Foundr’s Instagram followers from 0 to 10,000 in two weeks. That post went viral. People started to ask me if I could do consultations for them, which I didn’t. I just want to build something that helps a lot of people out scale. I did a course on Instagram, and the results people got were terrific. We have been able to pull together a community and launch several studies. We will be launching founder plus, which is full membership access. You get access to the former courses and one new course per month. It is ideal for a business that needs a team, knowledge, and growth. [34:08] As you look at the next stage, are there some things that you as a person must grow into before this business can take place?
Yes, I agree. Foundr wouldn't have been where it is today if not for the people around me. I have an incredible team, and I am forever grateful to work with them daily. I think people build businesses, and one big area that I need to grow in for me is developing into a great leader. I naturally want to do many things and am moving into the CEO’s role. That is why we want to add leadership into the courses too. I must learn to be a leader, hold people accountable, and delegate things. I think I am good one-on-one, but I am not that good in group settings. This is an area in which I am working hard to grow.
[38:00] What are some of the most recent things you’ve had to adapt to?
There is one blessing in the curse of the CEO. If you ask someone to do something, they will take it seriously because of my influence. I’m learning not just the product but the product experience. We are trying to build world-class expertise.
[48:30] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I would say that I would be a person that cares about others and lives life to the fullest.
Key Quotes
[8:38-8:40] Passion is triggered by curiosity.
[50:17-50:23] Whatever problem you have is being solved by somebody else, and it’s your job to find that person and learn from him.
How to connect with Nathan Chan.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nathanhchan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nathanchan/?hl=en
Twitter: https://twitter.com/nathanhchan
Tue, 26 Jul 2022 - 52min - 330 - John Lee Dumas - Finding Your Fire
John Lee Dumas - Finding Your Fire
In this episode, our guest is John Lee Dumas. He is the host and founder of Entrepreneur on fire. He is a remarkable individual who is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world. He shows the entire thing of what he does. He is also living a life that people want to emulate. He is enjoying his life but still maintaining a high level. Today we will unpack how he made it, the values we can extract from him, what he has experienced, and what we should do to succeed.
[1:58] Why should I listen to you?
You should listen to me because of the message you passed across in the introduction phase. I am not brilliant, but I'm one of the world's most successful entrepreneurs. I have been a mentee for years, and I have learned a lot of things. I may not have original things to say, but I have much impactful knowledge to share.
[3:40] What things made you feel confident to take the first step of interviewing someone?
It has been said that you are an average of the five people you spend the most time with. I surrounded myself with people that I look up to as mentors. I begin to listen to podcast interviews of hosts that I admire. But a question popped: Why can't I be in the room? Being challenged by that question helped me in taking a step forward. I started talking to people, and through that, I gained control. I started my podcast journey in 2012, and here we are in 2022 with a lot of incredible success.
[8:00] How does it feel to be successful at this level?
There was no revenue in the first year that I started. I had no experience with entrepreneurship and how it works, but an individual reached out to me. He told me I have a fantastic audience who loves to hear me speak, and he decided to sponsor the entrepreneur shows. He did that because of the podcast's quality and the niche. I picked a place. Then I stuck with it.
[11:00] When did you find out that you are moving fast?
We got to a phase of sponsorship deals, and everything was going well. I had coaches, and I decided to launch a product. I decided to teach people how to grow and monetize their podcasts. I have always believed in investing in mentors, and I still invest in them. My mentor then advised me to write an email list and tell them I was about to launch a product. The strategy was to open the door for this product for $250, and after that, the fee increased to $500. I had it in mind to give 20 people, but 35 signed up over the weekend. It is important to make hay while the sun shines but remember that the sun will not always be shining.
[15:28]How did you think of having a team to support you on this?
It was a process. At first, I wanted to do everything alone. I found every guest and did the social media pages' recording, editing, posting, and handling, but I got worn out. I couldn't handle it again, so I sat down and wrote the most important things I should do. I figured out what I'm good at the most and picked a group of professionals at what they do. We have different people with different roles, which helped me push my business forward while my teams do their best to get things done.
[20:30] How do you deal with people’s differences when building a team?
That's tough, but a mastermind is okay. People who know and understand what you are doing are critical. They have done it before, bringing in their strength and weakness. They have done it before, so that you can leverage that. If they do not know something, be assured that they know someone who does because they are in that field. You've got to help one another to get things done. I have mentors, and they are significant to me. They give me the information, tips, and answers to questions I can't fathom.
[25:38] Was there a time when you didn't like your successful person?
I'd say that in my ten years of building this person I am, there is no point when I regret becoming the person I am. I have no regret. I did get to a point where it was my best year. We had over 5 million revenues for the year, but the expenses were quite much. I had to pay workers, fees, and so on. In all, I never regret being the person that I am.
[36:24] Do you think the journey you've gone through can't allow you to work six days per week?
Everything I did was part of the process. It was getting through the fire. I made mistakes, tried again, and I put in the wraps. If you want to be better, you must be consistent. Nobody is good at something the first time, but it gets better with hard work and consistency.
[42:13] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
The ability to choose my destiny is my biggest dream. I want to show people that they can be in control of their lives. You can live a life of your choice.
Key Quotes
[10:30–10:37] Doing it right with a bit of risk will be great.
How to connect with John Lee Dumas
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnleedumas/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnleedumas1
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/johnldumas
Tue, 19 Jul 2022 - 45min - 329 - Jen Sincero - Achieve Your Dreams by Shifting Your Mindset to be a Badass
In this episode, our guest is Jen Sincero. She is an American writer, speaker, and success coach. She's one of New York's Bestselling authors. She's also known for the "You are a badass book series." Today, we will unravel why she started writing, how her journey was, and ultimately learn from her.
[1:35]Why should I listen to you?
I believe that certain people resonate with others, so I found that my books have been successful because my readers resonate with how I write.
[3:07]How did you find your voice and confidence?
Keep writing. Finding a writer's voice isn’t easy, but you’ve got to keep doing it. If I like something or I find it funny, I put it into writing. I also have a rule that if something is too scary or vulnerable for me to say, then I have to put that into writing.
[3:07]How did you find your voice and confidence?
Nobody wants to read something from a guru or somebody who is entirely unrelatable. They feel you can relate to the trenches if you’ve been to the channels. They think they can relate to you if you’ve experienced what they are going through. I’m all for privacy as well for the private person, I don’t capture everything, but if it’s something that I’m scared to share because it is so true and makes me look stupid, I put it in too.
[5:07]How did you guide people through that?
Well, my whole journey started around money because I had a lot of things going on in my life, so I was always broke. So in my 40s, I was living in an alley, a garage, and driving a car. Being broke is boring, and each time, I feel disturbed because I know I can achieve more. Then, I started focusing on making money. Permitting myself to make money was the first step, and I write a lot about that in all my books.
[7:55]How did you come out of the broke mentality because most people don't?
The first step was that I made the decision to make money, and I think that is so important. What people do is a fake decision. People make decisions, but when it gets hard, they begin to compile excuses of why they don’t need to do it. An actual decision means you’re looking for ways, not reasons not to do it. So, that was my first decision, and I started to read money books and self-help books even though I was afraid. I started attending money seminars and hired a coach, which was a big piece.
[10:12]What were some of the biggest obstacles your coach helped you to overcome mentally to start making money?
I returned to the bank to return my credit card, and my coach said, this could be the most essential $7000 I’ve ever spent, and just do everything I say. She promised to stick right by my side to get me where I wanted to be, so it was a financial investment and doing every terrifying thing my coach told me to do. She told me that I had only two options which were broke and cool or rich and cheesy. I still found my marketing voice, so I signed up for classes. My focus was on making money, so the longer I wrote my marketing stuff, the more I found my authentic voice.
[13:30]Did your books do well as expected?
I was a writer before I was doing any other things. So when I started reading all the self-help books, my write-up was exciting and was like taking all this information and putting it in a different voice but also sharing my journey. If my broke ass can get rich, then other people can.
[14:30]In your journey, what were the other kinds of stuff that you uncovered beyond it?
I wrote badass habits at the pandemic's peak, and I am today. Your habits create a reality. Your thoughts create your belief. Your belief creates your actions, your action creates your patterns, and your habits create a reality. If you are broke and you keep making brokeass decisions, that is your reality. Most of our habits are unconscious, so wellness is the first step in any transformation. Becoming aware of your bad habits and consciously working on them. It said, "I can't afford it" to "I can do it." When I was intentional about making more money, I had to discard the negative belief about money. What comes out of our life comes into our life.
[21:20] What do you say to people scared of not being accepted?
A lot of my friends supported me. Some didn't, and I had to let go of them. If they are not ready to support my growth, I should let go of them.
[22:50] What should be the next step in finding real friends?
Reading books, educating yourself, attending entrepreneurship programs, coaching classes, and so on will help you meet new people.
[24:20] What are the anchor points of everything you discuss?
Try out crazy and amazing things. Do something crazy in the direction of what you want to create. You are still in your comfort zone if you are not doing crazy things.
[30:00] How do you create something that will make you know your infernal values?
The truth is you've to be excited. If you are not excited, others won't be excited. When I started my online business, I didn't know what I was doing, but I still did it anyway. Even though I didn't know what to teach or how to teach, I gave it a trial.
[39:22] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I think God should answer that.
Key Quotes
[2:43-2:46] If people don't know you enough to dislike you, they will never know you enough to love you.
How to connect with Jen Sincero
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/JenSincero
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/jensincero/?hl=en
Twitter:https://twitter.com/JenSincero/
Tue, 12 Jul 2022 - 44min - 328 - Rabbie Mannis - Wisdom for a More Satisfying Life
In this episode, our guest is Rabbie Mannis. He is an author, rabbi, philanthropist, public speaker, and philosopher. Philosophy helps us gain clarity in life, and he has gotten vast knowledge not from the schools he attended or what he has done to become a rabbi but from thinking from a great process that allows us to extract great lessons that we apply to the world.
[2:12] Why should I listen to you?
There is no way you should listen to me unless you’ve heard something you are interested in. If I say something that has meaning for you, then OK.
[3:11] What is your life, and why are you the one who wrote the book?
I happened to be very fortunate. The book for my education wasn’t acidic philosophy. Among observing orthodox and practicing Jews, there are different philosophies. The philosophy I was given and raised with is so unique that I couldn’t wait to share what I learned as a teenager. I can stay more before sharing, but this information is dynamic. I‘ve got to get out there and share. I couldn’t wait to start teaching, talking, and sharing. Before the internet, I never thought it would go worldwide, but the internet is a blessing. For this purpose, it is the greatest. So, philosophy is the major shift.
[5:00] What is unique about your philosophy?
Earthquakes shift both religion and psychology. Let’s start with psychology. For all of history, what made people do something is needed. You’ve got to plant, or else you will starve. You have got to make a place safe for you, which makes us do the necessary work. In recent years, needs have increased dramatically, and in austere times, there was only one need: don’t die. You need to survive, but today’s requirements are so countless. We need it so many times. You have to have a lot of things that cause depression. But psychology comes in and offers a solution to your depression. But what psychology says is pretty simple. You don’t know some of your needs. You have subconscious needs and suppress conditions, which are much more severe than the needs you are depressed about. So out of desperation, I turned to Religion for help but found out that you will still have requirements even after death. So, here is what I think is the future of psychology, and this is the major shift in the philosophy I was raising. If you search deeper within yourself, you will discover that you don’t need anything. You have no needs.
[9:54] How do you reach that phase of getting deep?
Reaching isn’t easy, but it is there, and I think that is what we mean when we say, why can’t you just accept me for who I am. But figuring out who we are isn’t an easy task too. You don’t know who you are because it’s not a bunch of needs but a need free of conditions. We are free of markets. We didn’t ask to be born because we don’t need to be in the world. People who are not born do not complain, so all the needs that drove us up to this point are the need to survive. But today, there is more. People want to live. So all of a sudden, death is not the significant threat it used to be. The solution for people who get easily depressed is to help somebody else.
[18:20] How do you live with the mentality that you don’t need a thing if you’ve chosen to stay alive?
The other thing we are learning from is a challenging experience. People worried about life and living high would tell you they are still disappointed. The suicide rate among this set of people is very high. So the pleasure that we do get from these things in life. Suppose I’m not here to survive, then why I am here. This question is no more extended philosophy but a desperate question. For thousands of years, every religion has told you that you are in trouble and need God to give you what you need. So you have to beg him, offer sprayers before he gives you what you need, but the truth is he needs nothing. He is God. You don’t need to beg. Don’t threaten people. Just tell them why they should be here.
[21:30] If it is a faith-based thing, then you believe that you need eternity?
The only logical answer is if I don’t need to be here and didn’t ask to be born, then why am I here, and why was I born? I can’t tell my parents because they also reproduce without their consent. I now know it’s not out of my needs, and I have to figure out whose needs. So, here is the second shift, and it is that we get the whole thing backward. Humans are needy, and God needs nothing makes no sense. Only God needs because he is the creator, and how can someone who created the entire universe not need anything. The person who says he needs something acts like God, and only God lives. God is your creator. You are just a guest who can come and go anytime. But the positive side believes that you are not needy but needed. The logical conclusion of why I am here is that someone needs me. I am here for someone else needs. That is the motivation. I can live a meaningful life without satisfying my needs, which is incredible. But religion saying that we’ve got to live a life of service before we can go to heaven is wrong.
[32:30] How do you frame this so that people accept this mentality of not needing anything?
It is much better to be needed than to be needy. When I pile up needs that are not true, I become choked, which is wrong. Let me give you an example of when things are bad. We realize something that we’ve known all along. For example, a surgeon who loses a patient. He tried, but the patient died on the table. How does he handle that? The doctor will continue to be a doctor because he will attribute it to forces beyond himself, and if he believes in God, God decides, not him. So when you fail, you will realize that it isn’t your plan, but when you succeed, it’s all your credit. The bottom line is I didn’t create the world, and that is why we always ask the same question over and over again what the purpose of my being is? You say you need a goal, but there is something in humans that can’t be exempted. If I don’t feel needed, I won’t stay here.
[38:08] How do we find purpose, or do we live in pursuit of it?
That is what the bible is. Here is the third shift. Everybody thinks the bible is a set of laws to govern lousy behavior and get you to heaven, but it is wrong. God is the name, and he told us what he needs in the bible. It’s all a description of him. What he hates and loves, and the Bible tells us what we can do for him. I don’t need to have needs anymore because I am required. So that is a massive shift in religion and psychology. Psychologically, I don’t have a necessity, but religiously God has needs as a supreme being, and no one else has the right to needs. It’s a divine thing to have a need.
[42:48] How do you operate in this world without being frustrated?
It is unfortunate when people I see people cry because they do not have what they need. It is unnecessary suffering, but the fact that I have something to offer to them so that they can light up is much better. That’s why you’ve got to be confident. If God created you, he would provide and give you what to eat. God needs you to eat.
[44:58] How do I differentiate needs from wants?
Want comes under the category of freedom of choice. You choose to enjoy, but you decide what to want. Needs imply that you have no choice. Everything in your life is significant. It’s all about God. He needs you to eat, sleep, and so on.
[48:50] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
He made many promises, but the significant one is that if you be with me, you will be mine and make me complete.
Key Quotes
[8:35-8:40]If you look inside, you will discover inside needs.
[12:15-12:20]It’s not that I am needy, but what makes my life meaningful is that I am needed.
[27:20-27:25]When you are serving, and nobody gets the benefits, you are not doing.
[47:57-42:00]Anything that is needed of you is divine.
How to connect with Rabbie Mannis
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ManisFriedman/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rabbimanisfriedman/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/manisfriedman
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/manisfriedman
Tue, 05 Jul 2022 - 53min - 327 - Mike and Angie Lee - Empathy is Necessary in Business
Today, we have two guests and are Mike and Angie Lee. They are brother and sister, and they have been able to build a wellness brand called “SOUL.” In today’s discussion, we will find out the Aww shift moment they have had individually and together and what they have been able to do to put their experiences out in unique ways as influencers, business owners, and impacters.
[4:08]Why should I listen to you?
That is an excellent question. I think someone should listen to me because I have interesting perspectives and am inquisitive about many things. This has helped me have some exciting conversations, and I believe my gift is bringing that level of curiosity to others.
Mike said he has a lot of empathy, so he chose to help people for a living. I feel I can relate to a lot of people because I have been through a lot.
[7:00]What are the Aww shift moments you have had in your career?
The main thing is the genesis of when we started our awareness company. In 2013, I was on top of the world, young, undefeated, but my body started shutting down. I was sick and in a hospital for almost two years. I started having systemic information and migraine, and I was shutting down. It was one of the darkest times in my life that I still deal with, but I think that moment was a massive shift for me because, to be honest, before that, I was all about the ego. I was doing well. Everything was all about me but getting sick and being knocked down changed my perspective on things that changed me as a human being and set me on a new trajectory in life. I started diving into a lot of work, including mindset, draft working, and outside medication. It changed me into a better person.
[9:50]Tell us about your journey and some of the Aww shift experiences you have learned from?
I think the battle I have always been fighting, which has been difficult for me, is my career. Life happens, but my job is what I struggle with. It’s like my gift, but it is also something that I battle with, and maybe that is why I’m so committed to expressing myself and empowering women.
[11:54]What advice would you give people during an emotional battle?
That’s a great question. I think for me, the biggest thing is to have fun and laugh. When I was in that state, I was more miserable than ever, so from that, I learned that it’s not about that minute. You have got to have fun, laugh, and find ways to enjoy the moment. We take these experiences seriously and end up being hard on ourselves, making things more difficult. We should wait until something massive happens before we can find or experience joy. We should see joy as a necessity.
[16:55]As siblings in the same business, how do you find a place to keep mutual respect and work ethic?
I know what she loves doing and the things that don’t interest her. So, it will be unfair to make her do the things she doesn’t want. We sometimes get annoyed at each other because we want to do things differently. Understanding what each person is good at and keeping them in their lanes. Being honest and thoughtful is very important too.
[19:44]When you have moments when you are not doing so well, how do you communicate things that the other party doesn’t want to hear?
There’s no point in using a tool that won’t help the problem. Empathy is needed. You should put your emotions in check and come out with compassion. I think this resonates with people.
[25:00]What is your journey of building a brand together?
Our secret is that we still have a lot of personal time. I attend to customers’ messages. I show up as much as I can. These days, companies don’t show the face behind their products, which significantly helps us. People are craving intimacy. They want to know and connect with the owner. People will buy from someone who shows up consistently, shares their story, and so on, and I’m grateful for that. I’ve learned that it is community and customer service first, followed by the product. If you can build a community, it will be easier to sell your products. The mistake most people make is focusing on the products first. They are not getting feedback on what their customers will prefer, which is wrong.
[28:10]Who is the person that you want to help?
Our biggest three pinpoints are anxiety, sleep, and stress, and we found out that the people we are trying to help now have a lot of pressure and focus right now, and I think there are so many reasons for that. We know how essential sleep is, but people still find it has to have a good sleep. Those are the three pinpoints that we came in and addressed. I think I was taking CBD because I had anxiety caused by the medications and the tough time I was going through.
[36:20]What are some of the things that have allowed you to build this eight figures business, and how did you feel when you wanted to start?
The birth of something is fantastic. Seeing an idea of nothing burst into something that I receive a lot of DMs about is astonishing. We didn’t know if it would work, but we tried it. We weighed out the things we would lose if we didn’t try it. The price of not trying something is tough too. You’ve got to try something out. You might try things and fail, but one thing is that you will learn some lessons. We had no idea of what we were doing, but we continued. Nobody knows what they are doing, but they are just willing to try things out, and I think collaboration is one of our greatest moments.
[48:18]What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
According to Mike, God said that he would turn pain into a payment of gift, and he would also be able to help other people get out of pain. Angie said, ‘To give people a pause through laughter regardless of what they are going through.
Key Quotes
[26:09-26:11] People will choose to buy from brands that they trust rather than a brand they haven’t heard of.
[26:30-26:32] If you can build a community, it will be easier to sell your products.
How to connect with Mike and Angie Lee
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mysoulcbd/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/soulhealthnwellness/posts/
Tue, 28 Jun 2022 - 53min - 326 - Zach Windahl - Attract People To Purpose
In this episode, our guest is Zack Windahl. He has helped thousands of people understand the Bible better and grow closer to God. He runs the brand Sunday and is the author of several books, including the Bible Study, the Bible Study: Youth Edition, and the Sunday Journal. He has gone through a cold journey being a man of faith. He is someone who has been able to use his confidence and also help others in their journey.
[1:50] Why should I listen to you?
I think I have a unique perspective about life-based on how I was raised, what happened to my family, the kind of process I went through, questioning many things, questioning my faith, and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life.
[2:20] How were you raised?
My mom is a 4-time cancer survivor. When I was four years old, she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and had only a 5% chance of living. When I was 15 years, she had breast cancer. Literally, from 4 to 15 years, I saw my mum on a deathbed, which is years of transformation. She would always look at me and say: "Zack, it could be so worse, and I may not be here today, so you need to appreciate every single day for what it is and always look at how God is moving in your life because that is going to get through anything that comes your way." I had a vast, aww shift moment. God performed miracles after miracles, but I still questioned my faith and tried to figure out what this was about and what I wanted to call myself.
[4:00] Was faith always part of the family? If there was, why did you begin to ask questions about it?
Yes, my parents were believers earlier, and when my mum had cancer, they dedicated their lives to God. I experienced God moving in many ways for most of my life, but I still fell out of my faith. Even though I saw God moving in incredible ways, I also cared more about what was happening in the world and what people go through. I tried to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.
[5:00]What called you into curiosity?
When I graduated from college, I got involved in many entrepreneurial things. I allowed other people to impact my relationship with him, which I think many people do right now, and that is why people are deconstructing their faith because they allow other people into it. Everything fell apart, and I was at a crossroads in figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. I was a Christian who knew nothing about the Bible, and I went to Australia to study the Bible in-depth as much as possible. I learned until I knew I'd gotten hold of something I could help others with.
[11:09] What was the process of saying that I get this note and I'm going to package them up for people?
I think I knew I was going to do some sort of entrepreneurial things. I was leading a small group at a time. I was learning and getting my content set, and I felt like I was supposed to help people because so many people read the Bible but don't understand it. I prayed about it, spent nine months adding to my notes, taking down a lot of opinions, asking questions, helping someone read through the entire Bible, and also figured out what the book means to themselves, and so I had this product, but I don't know what to do with it. I didn't know how to make a book, but people started to give me money I wasn't expecting. I reached out to Christian leaders about my idea but was told not to do it. I made up my mind to do it, and I started. I printed the first thousand copies, but it didn't do well after it came out. I kept pushing forward, ran ads, connected with the right people, started a team, and over the next few years, we grew the business. We've shipped over 300,000 packages and over a million books sold. We did everything independently until recently, when we reached out to distributors to shift to the next level.
[14:35] What were some of the things necessary for you and get your team and have a vision they could buy into?
Everything we created was to help people grow their relationship with God and understand their Bible better. When building out this team and getting people behind it, I kept a full-time job I was paying people before paying myself a dollar. Every dollar that I made was mainly for the business. I realized that I knew what was good and bad at some other things. I hire other people who are suitable where I'm evil and always focus on the level I want the business to attend.
[18:00] What do you do at the moment when you feel overwhelmed?
That is why it is essential to be surrounded by the right people. My wife is of great help and impact in my life, especially when I'm going through challenging moments.
[19:30] What are the other products in the brand?
We have a book called: "The best season planner," a 90-day planner. We also have another book called: "Launch with God." This book helps people to launch their businesses in partnership with God. I'm a massive advocate for mental, physical, and spiritual growth and growth in other areas. We have a new book coming out this year that talks about finding faith, gratitude, and being optimistic every day.
[20:50] Where did the book blossom from?
Like I said about my mom, she shifted my mindset about life. I posted on my Instagram story and asked if people believe that the world is getting better or worse. 84% of people think that the world is getting worse, and I find that fascinating. Then I asked myself, why the people believe the world is getting worse? Is it becoming harder or easier to become a Christian? What we should focus on is how God is moving instead of focusing on how bad things are.
[28:40] Has leaning on Bible Study helped strengthen your relationship with God by assisting others to maintain theirs?
One hundred percent because it gives me hope. It drives me to grow deeper and have better answers to things. The more I see people grow, the more I want to dive deeper. It's cool to see people excited about certain things I lost, and I know I have to come up with something extraordinary every morning.
[38:28] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
He will help you see where I am moving in the world and be hopeful for the future.
Key Quotes
[23:20-23:25]If you start following people who share negative things, you will begin to feel negative.
[23:26-23:40] If you follow people that are uplifting and hopeful for the future and showing off the incredible things God is doing, you will respond to that and live that way for life.
How to connect with Zach Windahl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zachwindahl/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ZachWindahl/
Tue, 21 Jun 2022 - 42min - 325 - Cathy Heller - Pursuing Your Passions
In this episode, our guest is Cathy Heller. She is a business coach, spiritual coach, and best-selling author. She is also the host of a podcast called: DON'T KEEP YOUR DAY JOB".
She is a successful person who has a cool journey of navigating life and doing so much stuff having great business success. This is an individual who has a calling and has been able to do more with it.
[1:30] Why should we listen to you?
I'm pretty sure that people are going around in VR headsets all day, and it's presenting a false illusion for them that's controlled by 96 percent of our brain, which is our subconscious mind, and it's telling us how limited we are. I want to show you that there is no such thing as thinking beyond the box. The illusion is the box.
[2:40] How did we get to the point of not realizing that 95% of this is the base number?
I spent years in meditation and learning how to be a witness to what was happening on my path to obtaining the answers that I was looking for. I began my self-discovery journey when I was fifteen years old. It's not just what you think, as you probably know, every thought is accompanied by feelings, and feelings produce chemicals in the brain. What truly happens is that we think something, feel something, and get ahead of ourselves, which leads to stress, and then our cells produce negative things, and we withdraw.
As a result, we have people who say they aren't good enough, or that they aren't capable. This is a fake feeling that appears to be genuine. As a result, we must adopt a mindset of overcoming that feeling as quickly as we can each day.
[7:25] What is the catalyst that drove you into this area of understanding?
My mother had been depressed for a long time. My father married three times throughout his life. There was a lot of disturbance, and I found it to be very depressing. I began my search for happiness and discovered that many individuals believe that happiness is the polar opposite of depression. Happiness has a deeper meaning. It's a place where your soul takes control and you realize you have more potential than you realize. That's what we're looking for. We're all looking for ways to improve ourselves. So, because of my parents, I had to find new ways to feel alive, and now I'm on a mission to help individuals who are walking around with a fake feeling that they believe is genuine.
[12:30] How do we unravel this?
We unravel it by realizing that we need to start asking new questions. "What do I need to do?" is the question that everyone is asking. "How do I need to be?" is the true question. The question of how must be addressed. Realizing that you don't have to accomplish anything is the gateway to your expansion. The coherent signal is the most powerful force on the planet. We are conditioned to believe that love must be earned, and that is not true love. You don't give love for the sake of giving it. The only thing people/the world asks of us is that we love them. Take a look around you, at your family, your career, and everything else, and you'll notice that everyone just wants to be happy.
[15:30] How do you trigger this energy and express it in a way that allows your life to change outside?
When I teach someone, 98 percent of what I teach them is energy, and only 2% is physical. Let's take a closer look at this in more detail. There are three solid steps to follow if you have a job and want to start a side hustle like a business. Select it, sell it, and skill it are the three options. You must select. It doesn't matter if you try multiple things; in fact, you should, and once you've chosen one, make sure you give it away for free to people to test before selling it. Most times, what people have is a courage problem, not a business problem. There is no failure. It is rather called feedback. When a customer gives you a rating of 1-7, it's not that impressive but a 9-10 rating means that they'll recommend you to others and that is a pathway to having a successful business.
[23:18] What makes a 9-10 rating?
There are just two words and they are radical and perceiving. You must be making things, listening to your customers' needs, and making them feel that energy. Why does Amazon do more business than other online stores? It's because they are studying you differently. Business is the bedrock of any relationship and what this means is thinking of what the other person wants.
[25:40] How do we get someone to take these concrete steps and apply them?
When we look, we look for a greater vision and that is where the energy comes from. If you can't see your business growing to be a successful one, then your customers can't see it. It starts with you. The positive thought and mindset must start from you and this is what gives you the whole energy that you need. The combination of that energy and your vision won't make you lose and it will make you become what you're meant to be.
[31:57] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
God said, "She's going to show you a mirror of how amazing you are and you're going to believe it".
Key Quotes
[24:32-24:36] The only thing we receive is that which we give away.
[28:38-28:41] When someone can see what other people can't see, it moves the world.
[29:30-29:35] The power of vision is amazing in such a way that if you have one, other people will get behind you.
How to connect with Cathy Heller
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cathy.heller/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cathyhellerbiz/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/cathyheller?
Tue, 14 Jun 2022 - 34min - 324 - Gabby Bernstein - Transition out of Trauma and into Happy Days
In this episode, our guest is Gabby Bernstein. She is an American author, motivational speaker, international speaker, and podcast host.
She genuinely cares about life and other people. She is not just a product of business success but self success, and through that, she has been able to help other people achieve success. She is also the author of nine different books and is the No.1 New York best-selling Author.
[1:55] Why should we listen to you?
It would help if you listened to me because my presence makes you feel good. My presence enables you to recognize your authenticity and how to stay in your authentic truth. I believe that it is not by my words but by the presence that I bring.
[3:30] When you connect with people, do you really open up to them?
Whatever the reason may be, I try to connect. I'd love to answer this question with an example. I went for my regular treatment, and I connected with the woman in charge of my treatment. I started asking her questions out of curiosity, and she opened up. Through our conversation, the beautiful truth came through. She talked about her addictions, finances, and her family. She didn't know who I was, but we spent hours discussing how she could navigate her family and her habits. It was a beautiful moment. I'm not recommending that we go about discussing our lives with random people, but I'm recommending that we should be real and share our authenticity with others.
[6:58] Where did you get the energy for that?
I energetically decide when I'm going to open my door and when I'll shut it. I choose when to talk and when I'm not going to talk. Sometimes, I'm consistently elevated depending on the kind of connection I get during the conversations. It is not always the hour. It may be a brief encounter of happiness or pleasure that people derive when they meet it. I make sure I reply to every person I meet with kindness and compassion.
[10:08] Why is this the right book right now?
Happy days: The guided path from trauma to profound freedom and peace, the book is called. Moving from somewhere to Happy days is a journey, and I had the privilege of undergoing the trip and coming out the other side. I went through a series of mental breakdowns and pain. I was doing all the beautiful things in the world but still going through pain inside. At a point, I had a dream, and I remember being a victim of child sexual abuse. When I woke up from the dream, I was tensed and terrified. I was afraid, but that dream opened me up to the journey of freedom. Through the plan, I discovered why I was always scared and went through a series of mental breakdowns. In that moment of undoing the emotional abuse that had caused havoc on me, I knew I would write a book.
[14:15] Why don't some people know how to confront this situation?
Many people find it hard to shut down those experiences, some do not even remember, and some do not want to talk about them. Unfortunately, your body remembers it. The way you brush your teeth is even a response. People tend it walk over it rather than face it. Pretending to get over it will only cause a wreck rather than healing.
[19:05] How many times do you find people punishing themselves because of their trauma?
A chapter in that book talks about shame, and it is named: "Speaking the Unspeakable." The reason why people don't talk about their trauma is because of shame. Shame shuts us up and makes us think that we are not good enough. Shame makes people believe that they are a piece of shit, and nobody will accept them for who they are, and in a bid to avoid this, people shut up. A lot of people experience this, and I also did. The trauma makes us believe that we are inadequate and unworthy, and we believe it. Unfortunately, thinking it only leads to self-punishment.
[21:20] When can I expect to have any bit of freedom from trauma?
It would help if you were willing. When you have even the tiniest willingness, that is when God can enter. That is when you are open to solutions on how to help yourself. Willingness is the first step to happy days. You must be ready to help yourself. Willingness will help you to know that you did it for yourself. Even when the journey is rough, willingness will keep you going. When you are willing to help yourself out of trauma, God will open doors for you. He will give you the time, energy, and resources. You must be ready.
[24:13] What keeps you on happy days as you help other people?
I feel grateful every day and feel like I have an extraordinary life doing this. Whenever I feel disconnected, I practice the principles I talked about in this book and find peace. I have been able to show up at different times because it is like a mission. When you are on a mission, you are not alone. I know that I am not alone and that God is in me. I know that God is working through me, and I must allow him to work in others through me. People are going through a lot, and the country's situation isn't helping, so I wrote this book to save people.
[28:05] Did you talk about skills and practices in the book that will make people believe that it's, is not just a one-way thing?
Yes, I talked about practices and behavioral patterns that can help you. The book introduces you to techniques that can help you heal on your own, or you take a step forward by opening up to a therapist. The book also talked about practices for navigating your nervous system.
[32:00] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
The world would be shown in a gentle and softly way.
Key Quotes
[17:38-17:50] When you have unresolved trauma, you can't live your entire life running from it, but if you have the tinniest willingness to tap into freedom, you will be set free.
[29:40-30:00] The book gave me the confidence and permission to step into the unknown inside me and also encouraged me.
How to connect with Gabby Bernstein
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gabriellebernstein
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gabbybernstein/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/GabbyBernstein/
Tue, 07 Jun 2022 - 34min - 323 - Ryan Blair - Scaling Business without Sacrificing Purpose
In this episode, our guest is Ryan Blair. He is a father, husband, and business leader who was able to navigate craziness into impacting millions of lives.
He has successfully created something that impacted millions of lives not just from the aspect of the business but from the heart. He is now in the direction of taking what he has experienced, and what he has learned and bringing it to the world of entrepreneurship and humanity.
[3:10] Why should we listen to you?
I speak from love and when I talk to people, I do it with love. Love is my energy. My energy is love and so when I speak to people, I speak with love.
[5:26] What is the story that progressed you to the level that you are right now?
I grew up in a household with low vibration. I had a difficult childhood, growing up in an atmosphere where my basic needs were not provided. I last saw my father when I was 13 years old. My mother struggled with alcoholism. I was dissatisfied, but I eventually channeled my urge to be powerful into a street brawl.
I was imprisoned for four years. I wrote the judge a letter appealing for mercy when I was 17 years old. The court signed the letter, I was freed, and that was the start of a new progression in my life.
[7:38] What was the reason why you wrote the letter?
I wasn't a good writer, and I had a hard time spelling, but I was determined to speak with the judge. What I told him was that I accepted responsibility for my mistakes and expressed regret, as well as writing to the judge pleading with him to release the other convicts out of love. He read the letter and agreed to let me go to college, but cautioned me that if he saw me again, I would be sent to prison. I had to adjust my entire life at that time.
[9:44] What was the moment you decide to venture into entrepreneurship?
I was assigned to a mentor who was a successful entrepreneur. My father came from a working-class family. All three classes had been seen by me. The poor, the wealthy, and the middle class, which was where I started.
I made the decision to become an entrepreneur at one time. I understood I didn't need to be a lawyer or a doctor before I can employ others.
[11:40] How was your first business and what are some of the things that made you successful later on?
My first business wasn't very successful but it taught me a lot. I got it to about a million dollars but it wasn't a scalable business. I was into computer repairs but nobody was ready to invest because it was not scalable. I was so pissed off that I swore to learn what scalability is all about so that one day a venture capitalist will invest in me.
My next business was skpe pipeline which failed and I had to start all over again
[13:40] Where did the idea for visuals come from and how did you grow it to be such a conglomo impactful business?
Sky Pipeline cut the two founders of vice house and nick started calling. Black mullen asked I'd love to help them build their business. I fell in love with the research guy named Dr Michael Seidman and his products and I thought to myself that I could be a part of this project and help them bring it to the marketplace.
I brought a venture capitalist and we raised 100 million dollars for the business. We then turned it into a 600 million dollar business. I must say that I was a strategic and conditional partner more than the others. They possessed strong fields in marketing and sales and the combination of all of us is what made that company a special company.
[16:23] With this new venture, why was it the next call for you?
I went through a major correction in my life. I lost my mother and mentor to the cold hands of death. I channeled all of my energy into success and status-seeking which was a great strategy to get my mind off the pain that I was suffering from.
My mother's transition made me look into the corner of my soul, shadow, and psyche, and I looked for every piece of anger, and unhealed trauma. I spent two years of my life reemerging with some new wisdom and a new way of life to share with my fellow entrepreneurs. I went deeper into meditation, and psychology and when I emerged I found out that I could help a lot of people with this newfound knowledge that I've received.
[20:40] As you navigate, what do you see are some of the pitfalls that as your work kind of dials in that you're uncovering that most people do not realize they are battling with on this journey?
The majority of individuals are unaware that they have a lot of hearing to do. You know, the way most of us were raised didn't meet our needs• We may have had excellent parents, but in many cases, our parents didn't know any different because parenting as a whole is still a relatively new idea.
Most people have closed their hearts so the formula I use is to help them heal. I go deep into their healing, they grow through healing and when they grow, they have to heal again.
I will tell you that an entrepreneur's job is to solve a problem in the external marketplace and the way you solve that external problem is by solving the internal problems on the inside of your walls.
[23:25] How do you reach the people who need it but don't know they need it yet?
I resisted it and then my life got to a point where I was open. So, I need someone who is open when they go through a life change. The good news is that we are always going through life changes as individuals so those are the primary people that I work with.
Like we always say, execution is everything. Most people I find that have a high degree of confidence know what to do but not how to do it because something inside of them is sabotaging their capacity. So we have to make them realize that it is not the skill that is the issue, it is the fact that they've not developed a vessel capable of acquiring the skill.
[28:27] How do people not ruin their lives as they start executing?
Your primary job in life is to manage and maintain the highest degree of positive energy that you can. I have to make sure that the energy that I bring to my time is the highest quality energy that I can.
Money handles itself because if you have the energy to correct and bring it to the table.
[37:50] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I am here to inspire. So God said, "This is my son, Ryan and he's going to go through hell and back and he's going to create quite a story of inspiration along the way".
Key Quotes
[24: 20_24:25] Execution like we always say is everything. Every great leader will tell you that what you look
[26:40_26:45] Capacity is a person's physical, and mental ability to power, and produce productivity to the operator
How to connect with Ryan Blair
Website - https://altercall.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realryanblair/
Twitter - https://twitter.com/RyanBlair
Tue, 31 May 2022 - 39min - 322 - Erin Skye Kelly - Get The Hell Out Of Debt
In this episode, I am humbled to have Erin Skye Kelly. She is an award-winning and bestselling author who has helped thousands of people pay off millions of dollars in consumer debt and ultimately change their lives.
Despite her terrible stage fright and general Canadian awkwardness, she has shared the stage with legendary motivational speakers such as Tony Robbins, Phil Town, and Gary John Bishop.
Erin's seminars and workshops are judgment-free zones of equal parts personal growth, rock concert, and love. She is hired to work with ordinary humans who want to achieve extraordinary things. Because of her track record of helping people create a trajectory of success, the phrase she most often hears when people meet her for the first time is, "Wow. I thought you'd be taller."
[03:18] Why should we listen to you?
When it comes to finances, the person you should listen to is yourself. Your instincts will always tell you if the financial decisions are correct. Another thing is to research and find resources that connect with your financial situation. They will help you a lot.
[05:57] How do you deal with people in debt/financial instability?
Self-Awareness is the key when you know how to interact with money and how it works all around. It is also essential to understand how the financial systems work and how they are designed to put us in an unhealthy economic environment to make profits.
In this case, I make them look a step back, realize how they got into debt, how the system is designed to get them there, and how to face the situation and change their mindset.
[08:22] How do you take that kind of thing rooted?
Self-awareness is still essential in this part also, knowing what matters more than the other will assist you in staying away from debt. It would help if you also were cautious about what we put on social media because there is no extend to what we can consume. The pressure that comes with social media can highly affect our decisions regarding finances.
[11:00] What is the essential thing that drives your thoughts?
When reality hits you, you open your eyes and see what is important to you. It is the core relationships around me, my kids, the things that are aligned with me, and my spending. Many go through horrible experiences to find their worth which is okay.
[16:43] What is the tie in the book, and how does it help with debts?
The book is about emotional debt that privileged people have on their credit cards, and they don't want to settle, how emotional debt is taking away from life, and when we can reverse engineer it.
The book also talks about removing shame, living authentically, living more interesting, and creating your identity.
[22:07] Erin explains the four categories of experiences
It's basically where you take everything that you do in terms of habit or behavior in a given week. You divide them into four categories.
Class four experiences are things that don't feel good, and they're not good for me.
Class three experiences are things that feel good, but they're not good for me.
Class two experiences are things that might not feel good, but they are suitable for me.
Class one experiences are things that feel good and are suitable for me.
[33:31] How much do you think accountability matters to someone in debt?
Accountability depends on trust. It should always be the person you know and trust. Because laying down your financial status to anyone is not safe. Financial infidelity among partners is normal, and this is because it may not be safe for partners to open up their financials to the other because of their behaviors. And so the accountability.
[41:00] When was the book first written, where did it comes from, and who was it for?
I wrote the book for the 20-year-old version of me that ought not to have gotten into debt in the first place. So the way the book is divided, it's three phases. The first phase is the financial foundation, Understanding how to pull all the pieces together and everything that I wish I had known when I was younger. Phase two talks about consumer debts and paying off debts aggressively and effectively, and finally, phase three words about wealth building.
[47:04] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
Without this question, we all wonder aimlessly, and if you are struggling with money or finances, this question is critical. The promise that God made to the world when He created me is my entire purpose. In the book I have, I say, as I quote, "God, let my life be a love letter to you." The goal is about making everybody feel seen and heard and loved wholly and completely for who they are today and able to call them into who they are created to be.
Key Quotes
[35:23] "Accountability is critical, but it matters who it is."
[38:17] "cutting the expenses is to its lack of mentality and thinking."
How to connect with Erin Skye Kelly
Website - https://www.erinskyekelly.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/erinskyekelly/?hl=en
Twitter - https://twitter.com/erinskyekelly?lang=en
Tue, 24 May 2022 - 52min - 321 - Brian Dawkins - Creating the life you want
In this episode, our guest is Brian Dawkins. He is a coach and also the author of a book titled, “Blessed by the best”.
He has successfully climbed to the top of the success level but the cool thing is we are going to talk about the things that happen behind the scenes, how he became successful, and also pass the message to other people.
[2:48] Why should I listen to you?
My personality is really to listen more than I speak. I know how to be in my workspace and when it’s time for me to speak, I know what to do with it. Being blessed to have had some of the success that I have in life, I understand the significance of framing/reframing a situation and what that situation can bless you within the present to have your future.
The level of success that I have also attained helps me to know that I have wisdom that should be shared with somebody else.
[4:58] What is the moment that shifted you to where you are now?
While growing up, I was the smallest kid in the neighborhood and I always thought I had to fight which I did. I went through diverse of pain and disrespect and at some point, I had to use those things as a platform to grow. The majority of success that I have had in my life has come out of pain and that pain has taken me to different heights that I would never reach if I had not made use of the pain and disrespect to grind and work harder.
I was able to make use of the negative things that happened to me as part of my growth process and that is one of the main ingredients for success.
[8:50] If you think it wasn’t supposed to be you, where did you get the ability to attain the height of success?
I was blessed to have my parents around me. My father not only played the role of a parent but also proved to be a man. One of the things he taught me was that whatever you start, you must finish. He developed in me the mindset that I should always give more than what is expected of me. What I learned from him became a part of me and also a major principle in my life.
My mum also taught me that you don’t start a fight and not finish it. You must fight in a way that they have to pull you off the person. So my dad taught me how to grind and my mum taught me how to fight.
[13:26] How did you show up differently whenever you make a mistake?
I’m extremely hard on myself so I am brutally honest with whatever I see. I wasn’t solely a perfectionist but I expected a whole lot of myself. Whenever I make a mistake, I am extremely hard on myself and I make sure that I get back to practice. So, I always make sure that I never make the same mistakes whenever I recognize them.
I was treated badly by my team and as time pass by, I begin to love them and develop the mindset of never letting them down.
[20:25] Did you ever experience the fear of being judged by people when you want to talk about what you are going through?
What I’m going through is not for everyone. I call it cerebral wellness and it is important to me. First, I can not do it alone. As men, we were made to believe that it is wrong for us to be emotional. We should always bottle up our emotions but at a point, l had to speak up. I begin to talk about what is affecting me without the fear of being judged.
[22:48] How did you navigate to the shift moments especially when you don’t have an outlet?
When you think you don’t have an outlet, you do. There is at least one person you can always communicate with.
[33:05] What are the things that help you get back on track whenever you make mistakes?
If you expect to always have success without a fall, then you are already in the wrong space. You will fall short and you have to pelf to fall short at some point in life. You are not trying to fall but you will at some point. If you fall and it hurts you, you might have to take a count.
I might need to take a little time but I will definitely rise.
[36:13] What are the things that work well for you?
The first thing that works for me is the power of the pause. I breathe a little and then explode. During this process, I begin to express gratitude for the things that I’m grateful for. I recognize that the things I fail at don’t make me a failure. With gratitude, I learn that failure is temporary and it shouldn’t last. It is just for a season.
With this, I learn to recognize what I can learn, how I can grow, ad, how I can get better. I recognize that I make mistakes but I do not dwell on them. I make room for it to move on and replace it with powerful thoughts.
[43:45] How did you know it is time to give back to the world through a book?
I never thought I would write a book. In the book, I talked about how I had speech impairment which is stuttering, and how it got worse. I was emotional and sometimes I go far than my tongue and mess up the whole speech. So I couldn’t think that I would become a public speaker and also write a book.
The book isn’t about football even though it has football in it but it will show you how I developed a positive mindset and principles that helped me. It is my hope tI hope I achieved success and also learn to take time out of your schedule to also apply the same mindset and principle.
[57:00] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
What God said was, “The passion that this smart child would operate in will be something that will bless whosoever comes in contact with him”.
Key Quotes
[4:23-4:28] There is no meaning to a moment except for the meaning we give to it.
[6:40-7:00] The majority of success that I have had in my life has come out of pain and that pain has taken me to different heights that I would never reach if I had not made use of the pain and disrespect to grind.
[24:50-25:05] If the stuff that I have bottled up inside of me is causing me to act the way I am, why would I think I can dump them on another person and not expect them to respond similarly or worst.
[41:56-42:03] If you can control your thoughts, you can control the direction you are going.
You can find Learn more about Brian Dawkins
Website - https://briandawkins.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/briandawkinssr
Twitter - https://twitter.com/BrianDawkins
Linkdin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brian-dawkins-sr-8a48474a/
Tue, 17 May 2022 - 1h 00min - 320 - Emmanuel Acho - Living Limitless
In this episode, our guest is Emmanuel Acho. He is one of New York’s Bestselling Authors and also the creator of Uncomfortable Conversations with the Blackmen.
Emmanuel Acho is part of the people who don’t set defense. He knows what he stands for and what he stands against. He is not just someone with a strong opinion but with a strong set of experiences that leads to opinions that have weight.
[2:53] WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO YOU?
I picked up a football and I made it into the National Football League. I picked up a pen and I became a NO. 1 New York Best Selling Author. I picked up a microphone and I won an army. So, my works and credentials truly speak for me. I barely talk but when I do, then I must be saying something very important.
[6:00] WHERE WAS YOUR IDENTITY CREATED?
While growing up, I watched my parents work hard and progress through their hard work so I can say that is where my identity came from.
To me, success is oftentimes a more committed dedication and opportunity while luck is when operation meets opportunity. While luck is relevant without operation, it is also irrelevant without opportunity. I don’t believe my identity is in my athlete. My identity is truly in my character and work ethic.
[11:45] Whenever things fall apart, why was it one of the most painful moments, and what do you take from it?
I learned that it is important to keep going to work, keep excelling and keep getting better. Sometimes in life, you have to choose not to see what you see. You just have to choose not to believe your eyes in some situations.
[14:13] I do not believe in it that all your goals kind of fall apart, what is your perception about this?
Chapter 11 of Illogical, my latest book in partnership with Oprah is called goals are dumb. Goals are stupid. If you set a goal and achieve it, congratulations but what if you could have done more?
If you set a goal and do not achieve it, you will ruin your self-esteem and self-efficacy. Instead of setting goals, have an objective with no limitations.
[22:18] Where do you know when to listen to some people?
It takes a lot of discernment. The apple air pod has a transparency function and a noise cancellation function so do we humans too. We have to ultimately live life with both. Sometimes, you have to completely cancel out any form of noise while sometimes you just have to let in some feedback so that you can improve as a human being.
[25:30] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I am not super talented, or super skilled but I’m obedient and I think God’s promise is that he is going to bring forth someone obedient enough to use his skills to try to change the world.
KEY QUOTES
[17:40-17:41] A goal is an end at which energy is aimed while an objective is simply energy aimed in a direction.
[20:35-20:36] All we focus on in life is what we can see and what we can quantify not realizing that some of our biggest hardship moments are unquantifiable.
Learn more about Emmanuel Acho
Twitter - https://twitter.com/EmmanuelAcho
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/Acho/featured
Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/emmanuelacho/?hl=en
Linkdin- https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmanuel-acho-ba35a2b9/
Tue, 10 May 2022 - 27min - 319 - Dr Robin B - Pharmacist Fitness and Full Expression
In this episode, our guest is Dr. Robbin. She is a Pharmacist, entrepreneur, podcaster, and social media influencer who encourages fitness and full expression through her brand. Robbin uses her knowledge in the medical field to create amazing products for fitness and also add value to others through her social media platforms.
Dr. Robbin has successfully combined the medical field and social media to influence lives positively. She has created something great in life and still doing that. Today, she shares her journey of being a pharmacist, social media influencer, and adding value to others.
[3:05] Why should we listen to you?
I am a product of my environment and living has made me gain experience. If I’m going to talk to you or share advice, it is going to be about something that I know. We live in a world where people try many things which I have done too but the most important thing is trying and succeeding and this can only happen with discipline and consistency.
[4:42] Where did Dr. Robbin begin?
I love medicine and have always been good at science so I started working as a pharmacist technician. I was good at graphic design, and website building so social media came naturally to me. There is a difference between being an influencer and being influential so I take my time to give back to students by adding value to them and also mentoring them.
[9:00] Did you know you were going to step out and do socials or did it just happen?
It's funny I have the same amount of experience and ambitions as a social media influencer and a pharmacist because I did everything at the same time from high school to now.
You must have leadership qualities to apply to medical school, which prompted me to launch a business of which I was the owner and which also served as a platform for community development.
[12:33] What are your intentions when bringing up content?
I think it is important to create organic content. Videos are also a way of showing who you are and this is so evident. Your followers want to know you, they want to know what you can offer them and before you can achieve this, you have to put yourself out. I would advise anyone to make use of reels, trending audios, and hashtags, and also have something educational to teach.
[14:08] What was the building of your brand and how do you get to it?
It came to me as a vision. Some people go to pharmacy school to become pharmacists, while others want to use their skills to help the business grow.
For me, it's the other way around as I consider how I might use my understanding of medicinal ingredients to create things that can change people's lives. I'm a busy professional who understands that most people don't have time to look out for themselves. So, I created the face wipe product to streamline the routine of skincare and fitness.
[16:30] What are the things you’ve gone through to keep this business running?
This is the most difficult for me. All because of what I do, it appears to be a full-time job; I manage everything myself, including social media, advertising, and everything else, but that's something I'd like to change this year. It's also crucial to have someone on your team who believes in you. It's not a good option to hire folks that don't share your vision. You can’t do everything. Work hard, gain new skills, and hire someone to do the work for you.
[18:08] How do you know when it’s time to bring a team on?
I would say when you are into the product business. You need more hands. You will want to add more aspects like a newsletter and this will require a marketing person. How fast you want to go will determine if you need someone or not.
[29:54] How do you make someone attached to your brand?
It is not about the title but what you represent. If you know a specific field well enough and you educate your followers, they will become attached to you. People are paying attention to great content and they will become attached to you if you can offer that. Add value to them. Be a big supporter of them. Continue creating content so that you can be seen.
[34:00] What is that abundance you are trying to get for your audience?
The first is to allow people to have the same transformation that I do. When I was in pharmacy school, I took discipline from it and I applied that in everything that I do. So, my mission is not only to create but give people the opportunity to coach them, communicate with them, live calls and all. In short, build a healthy relationship with me.
[42:20] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
I believe God made a promise of representation. A lot of young women get scared of their profession because they don’t feel like they can be themselves but it is not that way for me.
I am living on the belief that you can successfully graduate, be a doctor and also live all your dream. You can be anything. You can use all the talents that God has given you. Don’t let anybody put you in the box. You can be whatever you want to be.
Key Quotes
If you want to bring someone to your team, you must have expectations. Make sure you are on the same page and that they believe in your vision. Working with someone that does not believe in you or your business is a disaster.
Discipline is something you must apply in every aspect of your life. It is part of having an accountability partner, a mentor, and a coach.
Use everything you have and do your thing. Believe in yourself and hold on to the inner power within you. Do your thing differently and stand out
Learn more about Dr Robin Website - https://drrobinb.com/ Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/drrobinb Twitter - https://twitter.com/drrobinb Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinb/?hl=en
Tue, 03 May 2022 - 45min - 318 - Sara Lovestyle - What's Your Lovestyle?
In this episode, our guest is Sara Lovestyle. Sara is a Lifestyle Influencer and Social Media Expert who inspires power at the intersection of health, beauty, and consciousness through her “Lovestyle Movement!” She champions The Lovestyle Movement by channeling her fitness goals to elevate as a Lovestyle Warrior in all areas of family, purpose, and play for the everyday modern woman. Sara has crossed many finish lines in ways that most people wouldn't get past and still create something great in life, let alone give it back to the world. Today, she shares her journey of being a mother and creating an impact on others.
[1:52] Why should we listen to you?
I have this strange ability to make you believe that you are the exception because my faith is so important to me. We live in a really tough world right now where people need encouragement, love, and compassion. This is where the lifestyle part of my brand comes from. I love to pour into people. If we're having a conversation, the idea that something is a dream isn't possible. I'll probably bully you into believing that it's real because I am going to challenge you, but also have a conversation that is hopefully enlightening, where we can learn from one another and share experiences.
[3:20] How would you explain who you are?
Many times, we go into either characteristic, or people will go into their titles. But the reality is who you are at the core. For me, I am compassionate, kind, smart, and brilliant. I believe in doing items every single day. But also, I am faith-filled. I truly believe in everything I tell myself, even if I don't always believe it. Having that conversation about everything I am, even the parts that aren't necessarily the best, is okay, because those are who I am.
[4:45] Self-Affirmations
My parents are incredible. Very early on, my father would instill in me, “Listen, you are kind, you're smart, you are brilliant. You tell yourself this stuff every single day until you believe it.” Then you become an adult, and you realize life is an interesting journey. I do affirmations every single morning for 10 minutes. It may sound dull, but I have them written on my mirror and my vanity, in my bathroom, and my office. If I ever have moments where I'm not feeling beautiful, I can look up and tell myself I am beautiful.
[11:39] What was your journey to getting a message refined that resonated?
I started as a beauty influencer because I thought I would like it. That was the cool thing to do six years ago. I realized quickly that the power was in my storytelling. The second I started talking, everything changed. People were receptive. My brand is a lifestyle brand because the fitness element is important because I was overweight and heavy during my heart attack. As a mom, there's the self-care element where I needed to give and give, and I forgot about myself. Then there's the part about telling the story of motherhood and that journey, and talking about my son was hands down the most difficult part for me. Everyone was receptive, and the brand grew quickly because I didn't have to pretend to be something I wasn't.
[15:52] Nothing is Impossible
I was afraid of imposter syndrome. I was afraid that I would not be accepted if I could be honest because I started as an influencer. The reality is that you can influence one person, or have one follower, and still be identified as an influencer. I want to show people what is possible, truly limitless.
[17:49] Journey of investment return
What's interesting is it started with the investment of a relationship. There's also an assumption that an investment has to be money, and it's not. I realized quickly that I could use the leverage of my platform to get a board seat. I could leverage a company that maybe did not have the funds to pay me as a creator. But you have some shares, though. There are so many aspects of an influencer that could begin. But there are routes to getting a seat at that table. It was about bringing someone to have a relationship that could be mutually beneficial for the company.
[22:02] Allow Yourself to Fail
We are so afraid of taking risks. And we're afraid of what people think. We are afraid of what if it doesn't come back? Or what if I don't come back from it? My dad used to ask me as a child, and it used to get on my nerves, and he would ask me, “What did you fail out today?” And it used to make me so mad. But what he knew that I didn't realize at the time is that I never gave myself the opportunity to fail.
[26:40] What Shifted Sara
The catalyst for my ultimate shift was my divorce. That's the one piece I've never talked about. I know that it is important that I create a stable life for my children. But was I okay with this thing that happened to me? Or am I going to allow it to happen through me? And it's not that it's easy. And it's not that life isn't hard. It's not that there aren't hardships. The scariest element for me is to be at the end of my life and be filled with regrets. I refused to be that person. My option at that point was to continue to dive deep into my faith, build my confidence, do my items, have my prayer time be in my word, and take risks.
[32:59] What is “Lovestyle?”
It's not the love of clothing. It's not the love of a makeup style. It's how do I choose to live my life every single day? Can I choose to live in love and compassion and kindness, in awareness in the people I'm interacting with, whether that's somebody at Starbucks or wherever at the grocery store? Am I living my lifestyle? Am I living the thing that I call my lifestyle? And it's a daily reminder: have I done an act of kindness today? Or have I been selfish?
[34:25] I don't think balance is real. But we do the best that we can. And I hope that people choose their lifestyles when they come to me or when they meet the brand or me or any work that I've done is that they choose their lifestyle. I think it's more important that people have a feeling when they meet you than an actual name. I don't care about titles, but how did I make you feel today? How did the brand make you feel about yourself? Were you encouraged? Do you feel self-love? Do you feel poured into your faith? Do you feel spiritually motivated? Do you feel challenged? Those are all the things that I want people to feel when they meet me or go to the brand.
[38:17] What is that abundance you're trying to get for your audience?
The first is internal. I'm not a therapist, but I believe in internal work. The second thing is I want to know what monetizing looks like to you because it could be 50,000, 25,000, 100,000, or even seven figures. What does that look like to you? I also want to expand people's ideas of how we get there. The thought that an influencer could become an investor wasn't a thing when I started.
[42:07] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?
I will make an impact. I will create change and be the mother of all mothers. And that is what I was created to do. That is who I am. I am made to impact. I am made to be a change-maker. I am made to go against the current and show what can be, but also leave the door open.
[43:15] I don't want to eat by myself. Life is not meant to be done alone. We fill the table, and we eat together. I cannot be selfish. People need to go and expand that table, and then it continues. So how do I, in my life, expand the impact that's so far beyond me that it has nothing to do with me. And I know that that is that's my purpose.
Key Quotes
[13:23 – 13:49] “I was struggling, not knowing how to voice how I was feeling about having a special needs child. Now I can because I feel seen and heard because the idea and the perception of who I was and who I am, weren't the same. And people were incredibly accepting the more I shared them, the more real I got.”
[21:29 – 21:48] “Failure is a part of the journey. It just is what it is. But every one of those failures was a lesson to teach me what not to do the next time. One thing that all entrepreneurs have in common is we're not afraid to fail. It just is what it is. It's part of the journey.”
[31:08 – 31:15] “Don't avoid the feelings, have them. But pick yourself back up. And at some point, you tell yourself, okay, now what? And what is next?”
Learn more about Sara:
Website: https://www.saralovestyle.com/
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/saralovestyle
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUUsC0jNry2rNxpqUFgaU2Q
Tue, 26 Apr 2022 - 48min - 317 - Sal Frisella - Phorming A Great Life
In today’s episode, our guest is Sal Frisella. He is the President of 1st Phorm International, an established premier supplement leading brand in the industry. Their mission is to change the world one person at a time. Built by creating thousands of positive and fun relationships, 1st Phorm strives on being people-focused and helping people become the best version of themselves. Today, Sal talks with us about the importance of building relationships with people.
Why should we listen to you?
[2:38] I try to give you an option to not listen to me because I keep pestering until you walk away. I've learned a long time ago that life is about the company you keep in the people you surround yourself with. Having a great conversation never goes out of style. I've met great people in random places that I'm still connected with to this day. I think that's the beauty of today's world. A great opportunity that we all have is social media. Learning to have that conversation and be comfortable getting uncomfortable with another human, you realize is that we're all the same. I'll give you an option to not listen to me. But I do have a good story in relationships.
Understanding Others
[6:06] Our stories are all uniquely different. However, they're all strangely the same. What you struggle with is very similar to what I struggle with. I've been fortunate enough to understand how humility plays a great role in having those conversations. I may not have gone through every struggle that everybody has, but I felt insecure, defeated, and felt I was not enough. I understand all of those things that everybody struggles with too.
Helping Others Change their Lives
[8:36] I got through many struggles in my life by having other people listen to me. I realized that I could provide that same service to other people, listening to them and letting them know that they're not alone and let them know that it's okay and we'll get through it. As long as we're willing to put in the work and make an adjustment, we can get through anything. I think that progress in life just steamrolled into what we do for a living now, which is help people change their life.
Being a Leader to Others
[11:24] I realized I wasn't giving my life and baseball the respect it deserved because I wasn't paying my dues the correct way. It took the gift from me, and I had to process that. I think that shift allowed me to go through that struggle and realize that I couldn't go through it alone. I needed other people who I talk to and can listen to me. It wasn't some special gift that they gave me other than just the ability to listen to me and help me process some information. It changed my life so drastically that I realized to be a good leader, I had to possess those abilities to listen and help people through struggles.
Greatest Gift in Life
[15:21] Experience is the greatest gift in life. In order to have experience, you have to go through some of the things that you don't want to go through. To help an individual go through it; you have to relate to them and tap into what they want to be.
Taking the Harder Path
[19:01] We are conditioned to take the lesser path, the easier path. Earning your respect for yourself is by taking a hard path. I have learned that through conditioning myself to take the path less traveled; I've learned to become a little bit harder, more mentally tough, and more sensitive.
Lessons for a Man
[21:32] I had to learn about not knowing the answer. And that's a hard thing, and being able to ask somebody and rely upon somebody else, realize that they might have the answer, and be able to express enough humility to ask that question is another shift in life. When you start asking these questions, these are great transitions of life because that's a progression as a man, as a leader, and it's a progression of learning to trust and build those relationships so that you can go through the journey together.
Allowing your Tribe to Grow
[24:23] To allow your tribe or your pack to grow, you have to be willing to relinquish that power to the lead man, and they have rotated it around, and you get a better pack because you're sharpening and building these guys to be better tools in the toolbox. They give you respect because you're giving them the keys to the kingdom for a little while, and they have a deeper respect for you. Now you're getting to test their limits and that ego checks down.
Prioritizing what is more Important
[40:08] Your kids don't care if you're rich or not. Your kids care that you're there, your kids care that you're present, that you kick the ball with them and you play catch. I had a hard time transitioning out of that because I wanted to succeed for my family, and I realized that my family needed me to be present. And when I found that internal hole I had to make, I had to adjust. I had to prioritize what was most important to me and I attacked it.
[41:21] By prioritizing what's important and attacking that, I'm able to progress faster. I'm able to get where I need to go faster. And so I don't need to be successful. I need to be present, and I need to make sure that I'm giving it a great effort attacking what I need in front of me so.
Respecting your and other people’s time
[42:22] The older you get, the more you learn that you're wasting your time. So when somebody disrespects my time, somebody is 10 minutes late to a meeting or a zoom call, I'm out. I'm gone and I won't just keep moving. And when you establish respect for your own time, what you realize is people will start to respect your time. And that's a huge transition.
Most Important Lesson Learned
[46:15] The best lesson I learned in life is that you can live a fulfilled life when you learn that life is bigger than you. It's very easy to go through life in a very narcissistic manner and I think that's okay. I believe that we often get shunned from that, but what you realize is that “WE” is better than “ME”. We are better as a team together. We are better than one. I think when you make a friend, you make a community. When you go out, actually be a good human, and be a person of character and value. That together we can live a better life. Together, we can hold each other accountable.
What promise did God make to the world when He created you?
[49:26] That this man will bring to his friends and family is unlike anything else unmatched. I commit, I believe in leaving this world a better place and I found it. And it's not just with my family. It's not just with our company. It's not financial success. It's making the world a better place. And I feel that obligation to my soul.
[50:23] It is not about the legacy of wealth. This man was created as the legacy of change, and I feel deeply connected. I feel a moral responsibility to impact my financial self and change the world truly.
[51:06] I feel an obligation and connection to the world. God gifted me with a great gift of talent, and I think success is measured differently for every individual. My talent is people where you could put me in any room, race, religion, color, tuxedo, or overalls, and I can figure it out. I love connecting with people. That's my gift, and I'm going to use the platform that I have, which is social media and I'm going to do the best I can to impact as many of those people. I think there's never a wrong time to do the right thing.
Key Quotes:
[3:16 – 3:22] Everybody's story is uniquely ours, which makes it a great story.
[6:45 – 6:50] God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. You can listen to people and help them through their struggles.
[15:21 – 15:28] Experience is the greatest gift in life. In order to have experience, you have to go through some of the things that you don't want to go through.
[28:21 – 28:30] In order to be King, you must make your partner the Queen, which means you have to support them, that your life will be insurmountably better because of them.
[53:44 – 53:50] Don’t chase things. Chase People
Learn more about Sal Frisella on:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sal-frisella/
Website: https://1stphorm.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrfrisella/
Tue, 19 Apr 2022 - 51min - 316 - Mally Roncal - Making Beauty Beautiful
In this episode, our guest is Mally Roncal. Mally is a makeup artist, founder, and president of Mally Beauty. She has worked with many A-list celebrities such as Beyoncé, Knowles, Rihanna, Celine Dion, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez, and many more. She also served as a spokesperson for Sephora before founding her company. Mally regularly appears on The Wendy Williams Show, The View, The Oprah Winfrey Show, Rachael Ray, and today as a beauty expert and pens editorials for the New York Times, Huffington Post, and iVillage. Catch her in this episode as she shares her journey of how she got into the beauty industry and finding her purpose.
Why should we listen to you?
[3:04] You should listen to me because not everybody feels everything as much as my heart and my soul. I always have this blessing and curse that I feel everything a hundred times more than the regular person. I need to digest all the crazy things that go into this world that we all as humans live in the same string. We all have different life experiences. But we all go through these feelings.
How did you get into beauty?
[17:24] I originally wanted to be a doctor because that's what my parents were. I realized very soon that that was not going to be my career. My purpose was not to be a doctor because I wanted to do my hair. I fell in love with fashion and beauty and glamour and all that. It's just something that my mother and I shared.
What are the aspects you saw that most people didn't see that allowed you to grow?
[23:16] There was artistry or people in the fashion and beauty industry. There was always an amazing universe where they had all the actresses, and I could see what they were doing. I became so passionate about transparency in that.
[28:46]
I love that there is an incredible opportunity right in front of us. Everything that is happening has a reason behind it, and the universe has a reason behind it.
What are you trying to do?
[33:53] I am no longer worried about everybody's feelings. I realized that I had to take my time. I sometimes think I'm good at telling other people what to do. But I realized that I had to practice what I preach. The premise is that both my husband and I are very similar in that way. The point is you can choose positivity, and you can choose to be happy. You can choose to find joy. You can choose joy. You can cry or get sad. You can do all that, but then you have to get back up and get to work.
Finding yourself
[47:43]
This whole COVID situation has been a terror. All of us are trying to find the silver lining. Personally, it stopped me dead in my tracks. I was on the road working when I realized that I had to learn to accept myself. I wasn’t able to take care of myself spiritually and physically. That made me realize what was more important.
What promise to God make to the world when He created you?
[50:41]
God promised that He would bring the most loving human. And that I strive to show love. Remember that you are what you see. We do what we do, and we do it with heart and passion.
Key Quotes
[30:44 – 30:54] “It's not about the time after what it is. I realized how fast it felt. That's where the fear came where it felt like it was a blink of an eye.”
[33:19 – 33:26] “The creation process is the only thing that exposes you to the nuances of something new that creates a difference.”
[35:15 – 35:36] “You can choose positivity. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to find joy. You can cry or get sad. You can do all that, but then you have to get back up and get to work.”
[45:09 – 45:11] “We always have more. The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.”
Follow Mally Roncal:
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mally-roncal-38a5279
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mallyroncal
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mallyroncal/
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/mallyroncal
Website: https://mally.com/
Tue, 12 Apr 2022 - 57min - 315 - ASP 313 - Josh Landan - Building brands and a great life
In this episode, we have Josh Landan joining us today. He is the founder of Saint Archer, a craft brewery sold in 2015, and he is the founder of Ashland Hard Seltzer. Josh started his career telling stories from behind the lens – filming, directing, writing, and producing films and documentaries featuring some of the world’s top surfers, snowboarders, and skateboarders. Today, he shares his journey on building his business without any business knowledge and background!
Why should we listen to you?
[1:17] If you’re a sports fan, you’d probably enjoy talking sports, which is what I would probably bring up. The last thing you’d get for me is business talk.
[4:23] I don’t want the attention. Just like an athlete, you don’t get to the top level, not needing recognition to compete at the highest level and be the best. I’d be lying if I said that the ego wasn’t there, and I wasn’t trying to get approval in some way. I have those insecurities as everybody does, and I went the other way. I didn’t want to go anywhere and didn’t want to go out, and if anything, I got more introverted.
Wanting to Win
[8:18] When you come from doing it yourself, and you’re at the speed in which you’re most comfortable, then you go into that corporate structure, you might want to win, but the speed isn’t there. You’re fine with things taking a long time, whereas that wasn’t conducive to my personality.
Entrepreneur vs. Business Owner
[9:26] There’s a big difference between employees, business owners, and entrepreneurs. Entrepreneur to me means that you have this burning desire to continue to create from scratch. I didn’t know that about myself until I put myself through that. I see people calling themselves entrepreneurs all the time, but they only own a small store or business. But they are a business owner. So there is a big difference.
Learning Experiences
[14:27] The way I’ve handled certain situations and looking back, I probably could have dealt with that better. Maybe firing certain people or leaving businesses and the way things are handled and at the moment is always more emotional. Hopefully, when you look back, you learn from that, and the next time, you do it better. I just would have maybe handled it with more maturity and professionalism in some cases.
Building a Business
[15:43]
I just had the idea to do a beer brand. But I knew nothing about beer, and I didn’t even know what a capital raise was. I had no idea about starting a business and somehow raised $3 million, and moved my family to San Diego, and we built a 20,000 square foot brewery. But right before that, I fired three people that weren’t the right fit for me. I would never apologize for that because that was the right thing to do. You can’t beat yourself up for your experiences. You can beat yourself up if you do these things repeatedly, and you never learn from them.
[17:35] The biggest key is being self-aware. Many people have a hard time with being self-aware. I’ll be the first to tell you I was not passionate about beer. I was more passionate about getting some approval than I never got when I was young. I just took it to the craziest ridiculous level of building these multimillion-dollar businesses when that’s going overboard. Luckily, the approval was probably the motivating factor that made me do things. I fell in love with building brands. So that worked out. I think where it’s scary is when you’re doing something for approval, then you get it.
Work in Progress
[25:03] I’m a work in progress like everyone else. What I’m looking for now is more so contentment, and I want to win to the highest level at all times by any means necessary. You can separate that from your personal life.
The reality with Managing a Business
[28:10] You have people’s money on the line, and you have people’s families that are depending on you that work for you. You have all these things and like you have to look at them. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns, and they make it look like on these magazines or podcasts. I can think of 10 business owners from the top of my head that are on their third marriage and are completely miserable and have no relationship with their kids. I didn’t want to be that man.
What People see as Amazing
[30:21] You might show up at work, and you can leave everything at the door. If your home life is a tornado, that’s hard to focus on. I can’t focus on the people that I care about most. But society celebrates the asshole. I would turn on this show for the investors where they want you to be, a hard-charging prick who doesn’t care about anything wants to win. It’s funny that that’s the person they see as amazing.
[33:30] I would rather be more myself that is more compassionate and warm, and I can be sympathetic to what everybody else wants to write. I’ve found on the all the way around, that’s how you get the best out of people. That’s how you get the best out of the staff. If you’re not great at many things, you hire the best. If they want to be around you and believe in you, you’ll build a successful business. But if you think you can do it all and you will be a hard-charging egomaniac, the chances are that you’re not going to do anything special.
Believing in yourself
[39:06] When I believe in something and believe in what I’m doing, I can be convincing. As you’re successful, it gets easier. It’s not like that first 3 million every time. But that first 3 million was the authenticity of what I was saying, and people could feel the passion of what I was doing. If you think about it, they’re investing $3 million in a guy that knows nothing about beers and doesn’t know anybody in the beer business. But I think it conveyed my vision and passion for building a great craft beer brand.
The Deep End
[40:13] People start businesses, and they want to keep doing this on the side, and they want to do this until this starts happening. They want to play it safe. But, if you’re really that passionate and you go all in, there is no escape hatch, and there is no plan B. You are in the deep end.
Confidence in Building a Business
[41:27] It’s scary. But it wasn’t scary for me because I knew I would be successful. There was no doubt in my mind, not an ounce or a shred of doubt. I know, in my heart, how I was then. My wife felt the same way. There was no doubt in her mind that I would be successful. She’s probably the only one or my mom that ever just believed in me.
How to Become Successful in Business
[44:09] In my field of alcohol and building these brands, it’s really about innovation. In today’s short attention span society, you constantly need to keep your brand fresh. That’s why many big brands are dying because these smaller brands gravitate towards independent authenticity. But then you constantly need to evolve, and you continuously need to innovate.
What Promise did God make to the world when He created you?
[48:52] I think what God would say is I’m a spiritual guy. I will give you this work in progress. Stick with him because he’s going to figure it out. And when he figures it out, it’ll be special. But stick with it because it might take a minute. The heart and the humility are in there. So bear with it and have some patience.
Key Quotes
[8:17 – 8:44] “When you come from doing it yourself, and you’re at the speed in which you’re most comfortable, which for me is foot on the gas, and then you go into that corporate structure, you might want to win, but the speed isn’t there. You are fine with taking a long time, but that wasn’t conducive to my personality.”
[16:47 – 16:59] “You can’t beat yourself up for your experiences. You can beat yourself up if you do these things repeatedly, and you never learn from them.”
Learn more about Josh Landan on:
Website: https://www.ashlandhardseltzer.com/home
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joshlandan_/
Tue, 05 Apr 2022 - 51min - 314 - Chef Bren Herrera - Cooking Up Awesomeness
Life is full of wonders that entice you to stay a little longer—standing up for what you believe in offers you meaning in life and allows you to make your presence felt and known all across the world. Chef Bren Herrera is a dynamic bilingual, award-winning celebrity chef, TV personality, spokeswoman, and host. Today, Chef Bren shares her struggles, how she took the risk of following her heart’s desire, and how she dedicates her presence as a beacon for those who don’t have a voice.
[01:58] Why should I listen to you?
Because I’m a wacky, entertaining person. I lived by the #liveandlove slogan. You act in love when you live and love yourself. I’m a social butterfly because I find myself talking to people who don’t want to be bothered. It’s always a pleasure for me to make folks happy.
[03:02] Many years ago, a buddy of mine taught me the platinum rule: treat people the way you want to be treated. It’s always about getting to know the person you’re spending time with and then pouring yourself into them, whether it’s a stranger like you at a coffee shop, restaurant, or anywhere, my goal is to make you feel like you’re the only person in the room.
[04:28] How did the foundation of the heart come about?
I believe I spent a few years purposefully going into myself, attempting to unpack why I chose that path. You take stock of your life about who you are, and you understand what has transpired in your life to bring you to this point. I grew up in a family environment that was highly attentive to only the needs, and the primary wants that humans have.
[06:19] Simply being exposed to and reared in an environment where my parents continually reminded us not to waste food because others are hungry. Now that I’m an adult, I’m in charge of my own life, and I take those issues seriously because I’ve recognized that not everyone can afford the same things.
[07:08] I’m a classic empath, and I sometimes wish I wasn’t an empath because it’s exhausting. Everyone plays a role in the world, and I’ve accepted and owned that that’s just who I am, and that’s fine.
[15:31] What deterred you from making choices?
I was always self-assured and understood what I wanted as a child. For example, I adored Whitney Houston, and I used to think to myself, “One day, I’m going to be a singer performing on stage.” I adored the way she made me feel. I was insanely motivated. But I didn’t always outperform my peers. So, when I made that decision, I had no finances, and I had no idea where I would go physically. Work-wise, you’re not going to stay in DC because DC was already pricey at the time.
[19:11] I started organizing this charity event in Atlanta to benefit the AIDS community there, and it stems from the pro bono work I did in DC when I went to speak. That charity event, dubbed Creative Cause, brought together many creative people for a good cause.
[21:32] I lacked the necessary infrastructure. I decided to let life take its course. I didn’t have that advice, and I take full responsibility for it. I didn’t realize I should have gone to someone.
[25:05] What was the turning point that led you to this path?
Everyone who had something to say and wanted to share it got a blog because it was new. I believe Blogspot was one of the original platforms. People were looking for recipes, and therefore food blogs were becoming extremely popular. They also wanted to use food to connect with family and friends. And it made sense to me because I could continue to share these fascinating cultural stories through cuisine while also introducing people to new foods. I began writing about travel approximately a year and a half before starting the food blog. As a result, I incorporated all of my trip experiences into my culinary blog.
[27:00] Blogging wasn’t sustainable. You had to monetize it for it to make sense. And I was seeing and finding that many bloggers had full-time jobs. Thus, blogging was their side hustle that made a few coins off here and there. But I was so determined not to go back to work. I was pressed to make this work. I was doing private events, catering, and writing for some fancy glossy travel magazines. I used to do some food columns for different magazines online.
[30:24] What do you create that pushes yourself and keeps moving?
In 2012, I returned to DC. Because I was done with that land, I felt like I had tapped out. I had done everything I was going to do, and my music career did not pan out the way I had hoped. Rock Nation approached me twice, offering me the position of a private chef for one of their best players for the Yankees, as well as one of Nike’s top athletes. I discussed it with my team and lawyer, and we discussed the deal. I didn’t like it because the money wasn’t quite right. A family friend who’s a big name in the boxing world told me, “You should have taken the job, Sis. Because although that job didn’t pay you for what you’re worth, it might have opened so many possibilities for you.”
[40:15] Were there thoughts of going back to Law?
When I talk to my friends about the challenges I’ve faced, I mention how there hasn’t been an infrastructure for me to go to law school and how I had gone down that path or returned to it. That infrastructure would have made it so much easier for me. I would have been able to gather the money and resources I now have and am only beginning to do a tiny bit with, but my heart wasn’t in it every time I’ve considered returning to law school.
[42:27] I don’t always choose the easiest path. There isn’t a plan, and there isn’t a schedule. I have quarterly and annual goals. Every day is different, and I don’t report to anyone. It’s challenging because you have to be disciplined and devoted to your art, and you have to make it work.
[46:02] If you can impart a message that can carry my life in a great direction, what will you tell me?
When you say “Yes,” everything changes. It alters your thinking, movement, response, and it alters your self-esteem and ability to be present for others. To me, it’s critical to just be in tranquil places and areas and thrive in peaceful locations. Therefore, if a scenario does not result in peace or does not thrive in peace, I am saying yes, I desire peace. And I shall extricate myself from that circumstance.
[47:16] There is a great deal of power in saying “Yes,” and “No,” and in being able to say, “No, I am not going to do that.” Many people are “people-pleasers,” and they are conflicted about this. However, there is tremendous power in saying “Yes” to yourself.
[51:01] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
That I would be a loyal servant with a servant’s heart. I still have the impression that we’re always fighting, that we’re constantly struggling to be seen, heard, appreciated, and cherished. But you and I are tremendously fortunate because we get to do what we love and share our talents. But there are a lot of people who don’t have it because they simply don’t have it. As a result, I was born to serve. And I eventually embraced it because, while it isn’t a burden, it is certainly weighty. It’s difficult because you wake up thinking, “How can I serve others today?”
Key Quotes:
[07:22 – 07:30] “The world needs all kinds of people for it to work. Everyone plays a role, and I have owned and accepted that that’s who I am.”
[39:21 – 39:30] “The stories and the way I present myself organically and intrinsically represents me. That’s who I am.”
Learn more about Bren Herrera on:
Website: http://www.brenherrera.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BrenHerrera
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brenherrera/
Tue, 29 Mar 2022 - 55min - 313 - Kailee Scales - Creating Global Connections
In today’s episode, our guest is Kailee Scales. Kailee has been on multiple national publications and now sits at the top of running Pencils of Promise. She served as the first Managing Director of the Black Lives Matter Global Network and supported the development of a solid infrastructure around the decentralized organization, allowing it to grow from a hashtag to a political and cultural powerhouse for Black people worldwide. Stay tuned and learn more about Kailee!
[2:18] Why should we listen to you?
As a stranger in a cafe in the middle of a pandemic, I have something very important to say if I talk to you. I like to kind of keep to myself. Once we start talking, we could talk. But I'm not one to strike up a conversation.
[2:48] I'm a strange paradox. I am very engaging, I love people, and I love talking to people. But I can be nervous. I think all of us have a bit of a paradoxical little part of our personality.
[4:00] Kailee’s career
First, I'm a mom. First thing when I wake up in the morning, it's school. Then I go right into my work, and sometimes I just kind of look at my work a little bit as I'm getting ready for school because I love what I do so much, particularly with Pencils of Promise- the organization that I lead. It is just so empowering, especially when we feel a little uncertain and all over the place; it's great to be able to do something to help the world.
[5:22] World movements
All the things that happened in my formative years just pointed me toward a world change of transformation. I realized I was familiar with a lot of the world's issues, and I was always mobilized and had opportunities to volunteer and do things. As a result of that, I realized that we all have a part in this world; whether or not we like it, we all have a part. We can affect change. I wanted to make a shift to making sure that that happens. So the process of contributing to Big World Problems makes me feel better.
[6:58] Making it happen
It's always about identifying the North Star, identifying what you're trying to accomplish, and being firmly resolved to accomplish that thing—and then being open to realizing that there are many pathways to that thing and not judging. The way it happens will be strategic, will be exactly the way it's supposed to happen, will teach you lessons along the way, will allow you to purposefully take a different pathway to see if it'll work and see if it will fail. If it does, you fail fast and move back the other way. You won't be as connected to how you're doing it as you are to what you are trying to achieve.
[18:49] Building a platform to have a communication channel
We want to create these things to end these personas, platforms, and brands to appeal to others. We forget that each of us has high value and each of us has gifts. We all need to stay centered, honor, expand and expound that because no one can be you, and no one has what you have, even if you're a twin.
[19:34] It's always really important to me to know who I am and discover that and not be afraid of the things that I may not like. The North Star analogy also pertains to us as individuals; what is our individual North Star?
[28:03] What would you attach your success in the area you are to?
It was the skill, acknowledgment, and awareness that change is possible. I shared the commitment with many of my colleagues throughout my career and found those like-minded people who understood that change is possible.
[29:05] I value myself, know I have gifts, and honor those. I value you and I know you have gifts, and I honor that. Along the way, sometimes, we need help. Sometimes we need support. Sometimes we need to be seen. Sometimes we need encouragement and comfort. We always need love. That's the spirit in which I engage all the time. I treat others as if they engage that way all of the time. I think that's what brings me in these environments with like-minded people who also value themselves and value their gifts and want to make sure that the world sees that and that helps the world promote that.
[31:04] Handling people that will come with inflammatory words or statements
These questions go unanswered because these disparities exist because there are people who inherently disagree and want to keep things the same way. When you do this change work, you are changing. You are raging against a machine and institution, individuals who disagree with you, which is why you have to dismantle those feelings. You have to flat already just out commit to that.
[35:23] When do you know you’ve won?
It's one step at a time. It's one person at a time. It's again, back to that whole Northstar self-actualization: your goal is your peace and joy and your ability to appreciate the process, whether or not it's working because you feel fulfilled. We also have to calibrate our goals, desires, dreams, and hopes with finding those interim moments of fulfillment, those interim moments of feeling peaceful, love, grounded and leaning into that and absorbing all that gives us to motivate, empower, and sustain us to the next thing.
[38:19] Pencils of Promise
Pencils of Promise for me is a continuation of my equity work. This transformation works to ensure that people everywhere have opportunities, that we level the playing field, and that human beings can access the rights they were born into as human beings. Pencils of Promise focuses on providing high-quality educational opportunities for children worldwide.
Key Quotes:
[6:17-6:35] “If your room is a mess, and you clean it up, you feel better. Just a process that makes you feel better. And so the process of contributing to Big World Problems makes me feel better.”
[17:14-17:24] “We all do what we want. But I always think about staying connected to ourselves and staying connected to each other is what will transform the world.”
[23:05-23:11] “You must be present with yourself at all hours of the day. You don't just deserve 15 minutes. You deserve 24 hours. You should center and be present in all the stuff. ”
Learn more about Kailee Scales on:
Website: https://www.kaileescales.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kailee.scales
Twitter: https://twitter.com/kaileescales?lang=en
Tue, 22 Mar 2022 - 49min - 312 - Craig Siegel - The CLS Experience
You must take chances to transform your life. You attain your objectives by taking risks. It’s difficult to imagine yourself failing during the process, but it’s more difficult to regret not trying in the first place. Craig Siegel discusses fundamental components of life that we must remember entirely and why we should never lose hope in the face of adversity and welcome difficulties.
Gift of Communication
[04:39] I believe that one of my greatest gifts is the habitual capacity to communicate and have things registered in a way that you and your audience agree throughout this conversation. That you don’t just want to hear it, but you want to encourage inspired action immediately.
[06:21] Everyone believes that I was always enthusiastic and passionate, but the reality is that I was not. It took 35 years for me to discover myself. As I grew older, I was constantly pursuing something and believed there was something more out there for me, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I discovered that personal development is not always indicative of who we can become. I began delving deeper and realizing that we can alter our associations with pain and pleasure, that we have options and can change our perspective. And I began to develop confidence and discover myself.
Wall Street Journey
[10:29] It was first quite enjoyable and was a thrilling experience. I was in finance to make money and suddenly, it ceased to be enjoyable. So, to say, the worry began to outweigh the joy. And thus, while remaining on Wall Street, I established my own business. In essence, we sold loans and cash to enterprises around the country. However, albeit less stressful, the second one had the opposite effect of setting my soul on fire. It felt like I was waking up every day and heading to work. That is not how life should be, as we always choose.
[12:16] I’d been miserable for years, and I despised the direction I was taking. I wasn’t even in love with myself. I didn’t enjoy waking up every day, and I was genuinely miserable, and I accept whole accountability for that since everyone has a choice. I became entangled in the rat race. I know I am meant for something greater, to make a difference, to make a mark in the cosmos, to do something extraordinary.
[14:26] People constantly ask me whether I was afraid to leave a secure position and start something new. This is somewhat complicated. However, once I identified the CLS concept and vision, the most significant concern was failing to take that shot and returning to a job that made me miserable. Now that I finally got some clarity after 35 years of searching for myself, I was like, let’s do this. And I developed a comprehensive plan vision. After that, I began reverse engineering it and so on.
Failures
[15:19] Everyone appears to believe that this is what precisely I was born to accomplish. And, fortunately, it’s a nice fit. Additionally, those that consume the content may not necessarily collaborate with me, and however, they are inspired and elevated by merely viewing the content. As a result, many people who previously worked with me are delighted and supportive.
[17:12] I recognized that it could fail. I could live with that, but I could not live with not taking a shot and returning to be miserable. I have entirely disassociated myself from my old business on Wall Street dealing with loans and such. As if I were publishing content. I had a strategy. I was generating that Hollywood excitement and people began to appreciate it, share it, and so on.
[18:20] There was some danger in the beginning because when you start something new, you don’t make money immediately, but I just purchased and bought, working 20-hour days. I adore this material. To me, this does not work. And this is the first time I’ve ever felt this align in this manner. We’re like, “Yes, this is what exactly I should be doing.” As an entrepreneur, and let me state unequivocally, it never goes straight up. There are setbacks, heartbreaks, and such things. However, for the most part, I was hell-bent on seeing things through, even if it didn’t work out.
[21:01] When I had that moment, at the outset of the epidemic, and gained clarity about my gifts and passion, I founded the CLS brand. CLS is an abbreviation for “Create Enduring Symphony.” Additionally, it’s a play on my initials. Symphony has always stood out to me. When I think about Symphony, I immediately envision an orchestra of musicians playing in time. I wanted it to be the last thing, like changing people’s thoughts and viewpoints on what they are capable of, which is less lasting. That was the moniker.
Personal Growth and Development
[21:52] When I considered CLS, I thought, “Okay, so how does this look?” Because I am a firm believer in the maxim that if you are going to think, you may as well think large. Unless that is the case, what is the point? I viewed CLS as the apple of personal development, the market leader, and even if you’re an Android user, you have to appreciate Apple for what they’ve accomplished. I responded, “How does that appear in the human form?”
[28:44] I realize how courageous it is to be vulnerable in front of strangers on social media, as it is something I would have never considered before to CLS. When I first grasped the CLS vision, I recognized that transparency was an integral component of the process. This is a no-judgment zone before charging and all that.
[30:10] Individuals always ask me, and I joke that my CLS audience is more diversified than my Wall Street audience; it’s people from all walks of life. Everybody shares a common denominator- growth. Everybody wants to develop as a human being, whether it’s through relationships, entrepreneurship, business, or fitness. People want to be around others who are willing to challenge themselves and be around big thinkers attempting to move the paradigm. If I had to pick one group that I believe represents the most significant number, I would say wannabe entrepreneurs.
[32:47] After all, it’s about the thoughts. The majority of us have disempowering ideas throughout the day, and if people practice awareness and mindfulness, they recognize that they have all these limiting beliefs as a result of unconsciously feeding themselves disempowering and negative thoughts. And as we become conscious of this and can replace disempowering thoughts with positive, constructive ones, they spontaneously generate new beliefs, mostly self-belief. These self-beliefs result in new habits and actions, ultimately creating a new world and new results.
Gratitude
[33:29] Gratitude. Simply by changing your perspective to one of appreciation, you’re no longer as furious or miserable as people believed you were. You can only choose one frequency. I want to add kindness to that list because doing a kind deed increases serotonin levels in the brain. And it is the natural process of producing happiness and bliss. But here’s the kicker: when you perform a good act for someone, not only do you receive serotonin, but the recipient does as well. Appreciation and kindness are beneficial.
[35:27] Maintain complete mindfulness and awareness of your thoughts. Thoughts are random, and not everyone understands that this is scientific. Throughout the day, I encounter an abundance of unpleasant thoughts. Once you become conscious of this, you can go back in and be more selective about who you allow in or who you want to leave. And as you begin to construct new thinking, you inevitably establish new beliefs, and people’s lives immediately change. The primary factor that prevents people from taking positive action or doing great things is a lack of belief in their ability or fear and uncertainty. The kicker is that we were not born with dread and doubt or negative beliefs.
[38:38] I’ve been skeptical. Before the marathon, I began delving deeply into quantum physics. In essence, I could obtain the Starlin without engaging in physical activity and run faster than I had ever read in my life. And it just does not happen without physical training unless you are operating on a different frequency.
[39:10] Within us is energy, and everything is energy, particularly our ideas. Thus, our ideas are electrical signals that we send out to the cosmos; this is the power of intention. And that is how the law of attraction works for me: you must first have an aim, then alter your thoughts about what is achievable, which alters your habits, and you work your way toward that goal.
Validation and Affirmation
[45:39] When I was younger, I used to seek approval in the form of things I desired, such as a flashy automobile or a great watch. And, similarly, I desired validation. However, I now see that I was so devoid of myself as if I had a completely different personality. Nowadays, I feel validated through contribution when I make an impression on someone, and they return to provide a testimonial. In any event, when someone returns with evidence of the impact I had, I know I made a difference. That is how I view validation in the modern-day.
[47:27] Make people feel happy as if there is something more available to them. And it is attainable. Thus, when I was created, this vessel was already inhabited by this soul and spirit, and it may have taken me a little longer to find it out. However, you must go through experiences that truly mold and develop your character as part of life.
[49:52] For the benefit of everyone listening. Ask yourself three questions. Why you are not included? Why you are not included? Because it’s not about pretending to be someone else, but rather realizing that you have the potential to control your thoughts and create new beliefs. There is practically nothing you cannot accomplish. Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself these three simple questions—why not you?
Key Quotes:
[25:50 – 25:58] “I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and I’m not everyone’s glass of whiskey. It is what it is, and I’m as real, raw, and authentic as I’ve ever been in my life.”
[17:19 - 17:23] “I understood that there’s a possibility that it could fail, but I could live with that. What I could not live with is not taking a shot going back and being miserable.”
Learn more about Craig Siegel on:
Website: https://www.cultivatelastingsymphony.com/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/pg/Craig-Siegel-102643008696634/posts/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/craig-landon-siegel/
Tue, 15 Mar 2022 - 45min - 311 - Patrice Washington - A journey to true wealth
In today's episode, our guest is Patricia Washington. She is an award-winning best-selling author, top rated podcaster, television and radio personality, international transformational speaker, brand influencer, national spokesperson and leading authority on personal finance, entrepreneurship and success for women. Patricia is known for her holistic approach to wealth management, she is proud to be one of few women of color who hold a Certificate in Financial Psychology. Today, we delve deeper into her experiences and the adversities that mold her into the best individual she can be.
[02:01] Why should we listen to you?
I'd say something completely out of the blue that would catch you off guard. Who is this crazy person insane lady, you ask? In the grand scheme of things, my life hasn't been that amusing. I often say that I consider myself fortunate for what I've been through, despite the fact that I've been through a lot. Then, if you go any deeper than that, you'll find out shortly. Despite my reputation as a finance specialist, I am not really enthusiastic about personal finance because to textbooks.
[04:27] What happened in life that led to that business downfall and what do you think was your ability at that time to build that?
I knew I wanted to be a business owner. My friends informed me in third grade that my father would always come to me, even though I didn't live with him. I asked my father what he does for a living because he always has time to come visit me whenever he wants, and I found out that he is an entrepreneur, which is a better way to make money than my mother, who had to get up early simply to be at the office and then leave extremely late at night. I knew then that I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps as an entrepreneur.
[08:41] I stayed at her house when I was 20 weeks pregnant. But I was hurried to the emergency room, where I was told that I was in labor and that there was nothing the hospital could do to stop it. On top of that, I learned of the company's demise, which added to my already high level of anxiety. The doctor advised me that if I don't stop worrying about other things, I'll lose this child and be stuck in the same room for the rest of my life, going out without a child.
[12:10] How did those moments transpire and go down? Take me back and guide me on this point.
When I was released, I went straight to the mailbox and opened some mail that had been sitting there for quite some time. It included some crucial notices, particularly for properties that are now at risk of foreclosure. I eventually had to liquidate assets, lay off some employees, and pay some bills with my savings. Some of my possessions were repossessed, so I sold everything on Craigslist before relocating.
[13:14] with having the last of my savings, I have decided to use that to purchase a house to where we have decided to relocate. I have been sending money to a broker that promised us a place to live in. When we got there, we found out there were squatters residing in the property, and the money that I have been sending all this time was taken by that person and he ran away.
[15:16] After hearing all this, we were able to move into a 1 square foot apartment where I could not even been able to keep the lights running. It was then at that time that I looked at the mirror, self reflected and asked God for guidance. I cried heavily, but then when I felt better, I opened up the bible and it showed me a scripture that is found in Proverbs 17:16. It changed my life and my perspective, and that was where I had a clear vision going forward.
[20:46] Were there any people who helped you get back on your feet? What was the next step?
One way God showed me that he cared about me was by sending strangers my way, who assisted me by sharing their thoughts whenever I opened up about my family's circumstances. I was able to obtain excellent information from a variety of sources. This was also the time when I had the opportunity to learn more about the Mommy Bloggers when they gave my husband and me coffee at a fast-food restaurant. I had no idea what that was about at the time.
[27:06] Tell me all the cool things that you have done
I've written five personal finance books. With 18,000 copies sold, it was a best seller. I spent four years on Steve Harvey's morning show, where I answered financial concerns, had guest appearances, and was published in several periodicals. I got featured on the success magazine's digital cover. My four-year-old podcast has nearly a million dollars in revenue.
[31:25] Were there times where you felt like super stretched, maybe super scared. Or felt not credible for the next stage but you stepped into it?
Many of us are praying for the ability to accept and sustain information. In order to process childhood trauma, I have invested in a therapist and counseling. I didn't have a really happy childhood. My family was often in dispute, and I always felt like I was the undesirable one. It became a concern for me when I became addicted to achieving and continuously demonstrating my value because it was the one area where I felt like I had control.
[33:04] A portion of us believes that we need to gather more data because we believe that having more data will make us more trustworthy. So we spiral into this confusion of "I can't move to the next level because I'm so confused," "I still need validation or I still need that," and "I can't go to the next level because I'm so confused." Someone said something on my show that struck a chord with me: "Your business will grow to the amount that you are ready to repair."
[37:13] Do you feel like fulfilled and at ease and almost like a draw? Like to the point of like working?
Right now, I'm at a season in my life when scaling joy is the focus. In the program that I teach, I am exactly where I want to be. When I consider the positive impact that my team and I have had on people's lives, I realize that keeping the numbers low has been a mistake. I prefer to block out time in my calendar for activities that I truly enjoy.
[45:35] Where can people find you if people want to engage, follow join what it Where's the place, you would direct them?
You can find me at https://patricewashington.com/ to know more about me.
[46:06] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?
People were promised by God that they would be able to redefine their wealth, that they would be able to reject civilizations, and that they would be able to have everything that they were created to have, without perfectionism or validation.
Key Quotes
[38:47 – 39:02] “The things that you truly enjoy, I'm just doubling down on it so I'm really creating space in the calendar and in my life and in my life to just do the things that are lovely.”
[33:27 – 33:35] "So many of us gather information. We think that the more information we have, that's something that would make us credible."
Learn more about Patrice Washington on:
Website: https://patricewashington.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patricecunninghamwashington/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SeekWisdomPCW/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/seekwisdompcw
Tue, 08 Mar 2022 - 49min - 310 - Anthony O'Neal - Mental and Money Freedom
In today’s episode, our guest is Anthony O’Neil. He is the national bestselling author of The Graduate Survival Guide: 5 Mistakes You Can’t Afford to Make in College and travels the country spreading his encouraging message to help teens and young adults transition into the real world. He is also a financial expert and a host of a new podcast called The Table.
[8:32] Why should we listen to you?
I grew up with four parents. I have two biological parents and two step-parents who raised and loved me just as much as my biological parents. I come from a life perspective, not as an expert nor preacher when I talk to you. I’m going to come from a real relevant and relatable perspective.
[11:08] Where did you get the skills you work with?
It took me a long time to figure it out. It was when my truck started traveling around the world. Then I started teaching young people how to go to school without racking up student loan debt. And then my mentor Dave Ramsey recruited me.
[12:18] Do you find that sometimes it takes an extra level to be confident and teach someone?
I think it’s where I tend to attract and where I tend to go. This generation is looking for authentic, relatable, and relevant content. I just got to force myself into that world into their culture. And once they understand what I’m saying, then that’s it.
[13:21] What have been some of the most impactful groups or organizations that you’ve talked to?
I had the opportunity to speak for NFL and NBA teams and go in there to help out with their rookies every year. I sit down with these rookies and mentor them. When I sit down with him, I say things that he needs to do.
[16:16] How do I get people out into financial freedom to have freedom of life?
You got to have a why and if your why doesn’t make you cry, then the price of commitment, the cost to accomplish the goals and dreams that you want, will make you cry. It starts with the internal why. When your why makes you cry, then the price of commitment won’t make you cry, and you will push through anything and accomplish everything you desire.
[18:44] How does somebody get out of debt?
Stop borrowing money. If you want to get out of debt, stop racking up debt, bottom line. I had to be patient and not worry about trying to blend in with the world. Use the Debt Snowball method; when you’re paying off all your debt, on all your debt from smallest to largest, make all your minimum payments. But then when you’re getting your extra income, and if you do a budget, and you cut out some additional expenses, all that extra income, you’re going to put it on the very first one, why are you making your minimum payments on the others.
[20:46] When you get done with the first one, take all of that money and put it on the second one. It’s an efficient way to get out of debt. And when you do this debt snowball method, it’s all about momentum. It’s not about math. It’s not about getting creative knows about when you see yourself paying off the first one, get to the second one, get to the third one. You saw your future change, and you keep moving.
[21:47] What kind of indirect message passes the question of why they should go and start doing something?
I’m always trying to go back to myself and teach from within myself. When you start avoiding debt, make sure you have an emergency fund. Once you have that emergency fund, take advantage of all the Roth plans out there. Be creative. Go out there and buy your plot of land and just let it sit there put it into the trust for your kids down the road.
[25:27] What should be the amount of money for an emergency fund?
If you’re in a stable situation, three months of your average expenses. The bare minimum that I teach is three to six months of your expenses if you’re in a commission-based job. It all depends on your situation.
[29:09] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?
You can get an authentic, relevant, and relatable conversation. You’re not going to have an expert. You’re going to have a person who is a student first and foremost, who loves God and who’s going to be genuine, and who genuinely wants to see you win.
Learn more about Anthony O’neil on:
Website: https://anthonyoneil.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/anthonyoneal
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AnthonyONeal
Tue, 01 Mar 2022 - 41min
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