Be You Not Them

STOP RUSHING INTO EVERYTHING. Guys, we’re tired of this culture of immediacy. Are you guys with us? We’re talking about expectations to get things done ASAP and as quickly as possible, especially when it comes to our work, but also in many other areas of our lives. We’re going to talk about the negative sides of this type of culture (SPOILER: there are MANY cons to it) and what we can do to set expectations on our side.

[2:30] What is this Culture of Immediacy?? The woes of instant gratification are real, guys.

[6:45] Why Is This Type of Culture Bad for Us? From burnout to compromising the quality of our work AND life… there’s a lot of negative side effects when we give into instant gratification.

[15:40] How Do WE Break the Cycle? Our lack of self love can be seen in the way that we judge others. That hurts, right?

We hope this episode resonated with you and helps you find ways to SLOW DOWN. It takes some effort, but it’s worth not giving into this instant gratification. Your future self will thank you :) We’d love to know your thoughts! You know where to reach uuuusss.

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! In light of our last episode that was basically a vent session of us feeling old, we're going to be asking ourselves today:

What is something that makes us feel YOUNG?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Welcome all to another Baklava Session, where we go on rants and unscripted discussions about life, being a woman, self love, and whole bunch of other topics. Today, we're discussing on our recent feels about getting older. From not recognizing songs on the radio anymore to our insides sometimes feeling like we are actually 65 years old, we cover it ALL.

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! In light of our last episode, we're going to talk about the negative effects of judging others and gossiping. We've all been there - we've judged others and made assumptions about them based off of how they look, how they reacted to something, their mood, etc.

But, we have ALSO been judged by others as well. So it's time for some self reflection that can help us become a little bit more aware about passing judgement on others.

So we're going to be asking ourselves today:

When did someone judge you the wrong way? How did that make you feel?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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WHY DO WE ALWAYS JUDGE EVERYONE?! Have you ever judged someone? Have you ever made assumptions about someone’s character based on their appearance? We’re going to be honest… WE HAVE. Back when we were a lot more judgemental and much less confident in ourselves. But don’t be too hard on yourself, because it’s human nature to sometimes put people in boxes. However, today we’re going to talk about why we need to be a little bit more self aware before we starting judging everyone else.

[2:18] Why Do We Judge Others? Let’s be real… talking badly or judging others can make us feel better about ourselves when we’re insecure or unhappy. We share our own experiences from when we used to be Judgemental Queens.

[6:17] Let’s Talk About Some Psychology Behind This. There’s a term in psychology called “attributions” and how we make judgments of others based off of situational or personality attributions.

[11:42] How We Judge Others Is A Reflection of Ourselves. Our lack of self love can be seen in the way that we judge others. That hurts, right?

[13:29] How Do We Stop Being So Judgy? We’re going to share some tips that have helped us become a little more self aware.

We hope this episode resonated with you...and helps you become a liiiiiiiittle less judgy with others. We never know what someone else is going through and making these preliminary judgements not only hurts others, but ourselves as well. We’d love to know your thoughts! You know where to reach uuuusss.

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today we're going to ask ourselves and YOU what are some of the mental and emotional impacts that cancel culture may have.????

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Welcome all to another Baklava Session, where we go on rants and unscripted discussions about life, being a woman, self love, and whole bunch of other topics. Today, we're sharing our thoughts on cancel culture and why it is so important to have a conversation before jumping the gun. Social media platforms, especially, are where we see this happen the most and we discuss how incredibly easy cancelling someone can be on these platforms.

Resources:

Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today we're going to continue singing praises of Core Values. We both have identified ours and it really has been LIFE CHANGING. Keeping that in mind, we're asking ourselves, and YOU, this week:

How has knowing your core values changed your life???

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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FINDING OUT WHAT MATTERS TO YOU. Helloooooo, little Be You Not Them family! We have an episode that will have thinking and evaluating what is important to you… Your core values! This is something that both of us have identified in our own lives and have helped guide us. So we wanted to share our tips for finding out what your core values are today and why they’re helpful to know.

[1:00] What Do You Value?? Sometimes we think of core values as work related… every company has their core values, mission statement, etc. But it’s important to understand what WE value for ourselves as well. 

[03:19] Why Knowing Your Core Values Is Important. Our values help us understand what is important to us and serve as a compass for everything we do. And this affects MANY actions and decisions you make in your life....from friendships to business opportunities to what your purpose is. 

[07:42] We Share Some of Our Top Values. We’re going to give you guys an example of our top values and WHY those values are important to us. Spoiler alert: Ours are pretty similar. Are you surprised?? 

[12:12] How Do We Develop Our Core Values? We’re going to share the steps that we took to identify our values and hopefully help you find out what your core values are.

[20:50] Some Final Reflections On Values. Our values can always change depending on what’s happening in our lives - so don’t feel bad if they need to be changed.

[23:57] The Be You Not Them Values <3 We’re not all talk, guys! We did this exercise for our podcast as well and we want to share the BYNT Core Values with you!

We hope this little episode helped you reflect on what your core values are. Take some time to identify them! Sometimes we think something is REALLY important to us, but unless we really reflect on them, it’s hard to really use our values to guide us through our lives.

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today we share one small habit that we have been incorporating for ourselves to manifest our ideal day and digress into how moving should be the only thing that we can press fast forward to.

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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[2:24] A Little Inspo. We share a little snippet of how Tony Robbins built his ideal day to help better explain what this means.

[6:39] The Vision Story. Building your ideal day is not about your day and night time routines...it is MUCH MORE than that. We dive into how to create your vision story and what it encompasses

[9:30] Nat's Ideal Day. Nat shares how she built her ideal day off of her vision story created at a mastermind retreat with her fiance Ben.

[13:35] Nina's Ideal Day. Though she doesn't know her ideal day completely, Nina affirms that building your ideal day is about connecting back to your mission, your purposed-filled life.

[17:18] Little takeaways in beginning to build your ideal day TODAY: - Ask yourself: how do you want to feel on these days? [17:30] - Blocktime and GET CREATIVE, brainstorm [18:26] - Write it DOWN. [19:36] - Visualize and/or read it every day [20:32] - Be open to experimentation and refinement - PAY ATTENTION [21:11] - Incorporate small ways from the themes and feelings you visualize [21:42] - Be committed [22:49]

Articles Mentioned:

- How Tony Robbins Design His Ideal Day: https://sourcesofinsight.com/create-your-ideal-day-the-tony-robbins-way/

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today Natassia is talking about how she feels more like her 8 year old self now as a 32 year old. Ok, that sounds a little weird, but TRUST US. It's time to reflect and figure out how we can regain some of that child-like wonder and confidence now as adults!

In light of that, we ask ourselves the following the question for this week:

How are you, as an adult, similar to how you were as a child? 

AND

What's something about you as a child that you would like to regain now as an adult?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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HAPPINESS DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LOUD. Welcome to another solosode episode! Today Natassia is sharing something that helps her deal with days where she feels stressed, overwhelmed, or just an overall feeling of MEH. Finding Little Joys. These are small little moments throughout your day and life where you feel a sense of joy or happiness.

Natassia shares some of the little joys in her life to help you reflect on what Little Joys may look like to you. What are some little moments of peace or happiness in your day? How can you do more of them? How can you be more present when those moments happen? We'd love to know what YOUR little joys are. :)

Resources Mentioned: 

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by Monday's little Baklava Sesh where we just openly talked about our MEH feelings from last week. 

In light of that, we ask ourselves the following the question for this week:

What are something you can do to help you process that MEH feeling?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Welcome all to another Baklava Session, where we go on rants and unscripted discussions about life, being a woman, self love, and whole bunch of other topics. Today, we're sharing honestly where are at from last week, the lovely feeling of MEH. We are not only using this as a catchup session for us both but also what we are both going through at the moment!

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by Monday's discussions about NIGHT TIME ROUTINES! We talked about our struggles with developing better sleep habits and what worked for us! Trust us, we're total morning people now.

In light of that, we ask ourselves the following the question for this week:

What was an unexpected change that happened once you found a good night routine?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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WHEN YOUR SLEEP IS MESSED UP. As two people who have suffered from sleep deprivation and insomnia in the past... we're here to tell you that you need to set up a night routine. Because we're boring adults now and we go to bed by 10:00 PM at the latest. You'll thank us later!

[1:20] Why Are Night Routines Important? We have experienced what it's like to be perpetually EXHAUSTED. So lets talk about the benefits of developing a night routine that works for you.

[2:07] How Our Night Routines Have Changed Us. Guys, sorry for the pun, but NIGHT AND DAY. That's how much our night routines have changed us. From Natassia being a perpetually sleep deprived night owl to Nina's late night cellphone addiction.

[5:18] Natassia's Sleep Anxiety Story. Natassia shares the experience that finally made her realize she NEEDED to prioritize her sleep and create better nighttime habits. 

[5:18] Natassia's Sleep Anxiety Story. Natassia shares the experience that finally made her realize she NEEDED to prioritize her sleep and create better nighttime habits. 

[14:58] Our Night Routines & Tips. We share some of the little things that have helped us out. From shutting off electronics a few hours before bed to meditation to reading a fiction book. 

[21:30] Find Out What Works For You & Kicking BAD Habits. Remember, what works for us may not necessarily work for YOU. Give yourself time to test out different routines. Also - ditch the TV in the bedroom. It ain't helping you sleep any better.

[23:28] Our Favorite Apps that Help Us Wind Down. Again, these aren't sponsored (we wish). We share some of our fave apps that help us wind down and decompress before going to bed.

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by Monday's little Baklava Sesh where we talked about what self love actually FEELS like. Self-Love is topic often talked about but the actually FEELING behind the moment of self-love is a little bit of a puzzle in which dove into on Monday.

In light of that, we ask ourselves the following the question for this week:

What was the moment where you actually FELT that you loved yourself?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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FEELING YOUR SELF LOVE. Welcome all to another Baklava Session, where we go on rants and unscripted discussions about life, being a woman, self love, and whole bunch of other topics. Today, we're discussing on what self love ACTUALLY feels like. Contrary to what many believe, the feelings of self love are not happiness or simply an outpour of joy. Sometimes, "feeling" self love can be absolutely CHALLENGING but we go into how walking through these challenges lead to our idea of what self love feels like

We hope you guys enjoyed today's episode! We have several episodes that touch on this idea a bit but here are a few we want to highlight:

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Ready for a new solosode?! Today, Natassia shares her own experience with struggling to recognize her own talent and skills for many years. Imposter syndrome is REAL, guys. 

Natassia shares a recent experience she had that truly made her realize that she ALWAYS had the skills she needed to succeed... she just didn't recognize it in herself earlier. She also shares some tips on how to grow that trust in your own talent.

Let this episode serve as a reminder to you that you're probably doing a lot better than you actually think. We all can doubt our own talent and skills sometimes, but we have a tendency to be much harder on ourselves than on others!

If you're struggling with feeling like you're not good enough at your job or your skills this week - stop and pause for a second! Celebrate everything you've accomplished so far. Recognize your OWN TALENT. 

We hope you enjoyed today's episode! We'd love to hear your thoughts and what YOUR wins are. You know where to reach us :)

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to another Solosode! Today, Nina is taking over the mic to discuss something that has been so transformative for her: DATING YOURSELF. We have been talking in previous episodes about productivity and resetting your energy levels and in light of this, this little solosode comes at the perfect time.

Nina breaks down what it means to date yourself and the difference between being alone and feeling lonely. She shares her own hurdles with this and how dating herself really came about. Listen in to see how you can begin this process for yourself!

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by episode 62, where we talked about how soooo many of us our living our lives on autopilot without stopping to reflect if we're making the right choices!

We ask ourselves the following the question for this week:

How do you switch up your routine to make it less predictable?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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STOP SLEEPWALKING THROUGH LIFE. A perfect episode to kickstart your week. We are definitely not stranger to this… and we’re sure many of you can relate on some level as well. While it seems great to be able to do some things on autopilot, it can truly rob us of living our lives if most of our decisions throughout our day ARE made on autopilot. I

[1:20] Let’s Share Some STATS. Your girls came prepared with some stats from a report by Marks & Spencers in the UK… and they’re eye opening. We are sleepwalking 

[3:37] The Signs You’re Living Life on Autopilot. We discuss some of the telltale signs that you’re spending most of your time living on autopilot. From dreading the day ahead to feeling like you’re not making ANY progress on your goals. 

[10:05] The Downsides. And now, the bad stuff. If you’re wondering what the negative impact could be from living on autopilot, we share what we’ve personally experienced. Trust us, it ain’t fun.

[16:58] How to WAKE THE EFF UP. We share some takeaways and tips to help get yourself out of autopilot and spicing up your life a bit to help you be more aware of your choices.

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by Monday's Baklava Sesh which was all about being our own hype women and celebrating the amazing women that we are.

We ask ourselves the following the question for this week:

What is one thing you say to yourself to hype you UP?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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SING A PRAISE FOR YOURSELF. Welcome all to another Baklava Session, where we go on rants and unscripted discussions about life, being a woman, self love, and whole bunch of other topics. Today, we're discussing being your own hype woman. This is sometimes so hard for us but why? We can easily do it for others but not for ourselves. TODAY, we are changing that because we need to lift our own spirits and remind ourselves of the queens we are. 

We hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. As always, thank you for your support and love. You guys are the best along with Ru Paul's Drag Race (Season 7) which was the source of inspiration for this lovely little sesh.

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by Tuesday's episode which was all about protecting your energy levels and identifying when to take a step away and reset.

We ask ourselves the following the question for this week:

How can you stop yourself from feeling guilty when you're unproductive?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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YOU ARE NOT YOUR PRODUCTIVITY. We have a perfect follow up from our last episode, which was all about about low energy levels. You know what contributes to low energy and burnout??? Not. Taking. A. Break. Our society thrives on being productive 24/7 and the "hustle hard" mentality. However, we're here to remind you that sometimes you absolutely need to be unproductive.

[4:10] Purpose Filled Life Versus Living Out Your Purpose. We talk a little bit about how we NEED to separate our identity from work. A purpose filled life does not equal being productive all the time.

[9:20] What Does it Mean to be Unproductive? So... what do we mean when we say you need unproductive days? There's many things that can fall under it, so we describe some activities that are productive versus unproductive. SPOILER ALERT: Organizing your house and your closet over the weekend is not being unproductive.

[12:30] - The Guilt Around being Unproductive. Natassia shares a passage from “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle about how our root beliefs are what make us feel anger and shame around resting.

[18:50] The Benefits of Being Unproductive. Now that you guys have heard our side of the story... what are some good things that come out of resting and doing nothing? We share some of the benefits we've seen in our own lives.

[27:30] Closing Out & Some Reminders for You. A reminder that  being productive all the time is... stupid. That's all folks. You are not a robot. It takes time to unlearn the negativity you may have associated with rest and NOT being productive.

We hope this episode helped you reflect and realize it's ok to STOP and do absolutely nothing sometimes. Be kinder to yourself, boo. We'd love to hear your thoughts! You know where to find us :)

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by Tuesday's episode which was all about protecting your energy levels and identifying when to take a step away and reset.

We ask ourselves the following the question for this week:

What is the saving grace we turn to when our energy levels are so depleted?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

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Feeling tired? Overwhelmed? Kinda like you are in a bit of a haze? No, this isn't an advertisement for a sleeping pill but rather a wake up call that your energy levels are out of whack. This episode we dive into all the signs, situations and triggers that cause our energy levels to go out the window and how to reclaim it back. 

[2:37] Signs of Energy Drain. Feeling lethargic, unmotivated and just simply tired? We talk about the signs of energy drain includes: - Fog, daze - Taking longer in getting out of bed if you are a morning person - Not feeling motivated by the work you enjoy - Forgetfulness - Simply things not clear to you - Dont feel like working out

[7:27] The Burnout. This happens when we continue to push ourselves behind the signs. We discuss how we have experienced this.

[9:00] Situations Causing Energy Drains. This can be relatively subjective to the type of person you are, especially if you are a HSP. Some of these situations include: - Multiple storms of life - People with a self-centered focus - Overtime work or stressful roles

[15:33] Stand-out experiences. We dive into the one experience that made us realize we had to step back to recoup our energy levels.

[20:00] Takeaways. We talk about some of the best little tips to recoup your energy: - Building the awareness to rest & recover - Identifying triggers, even in situations that ARE not stressful like traveling - Are you paying attention? - Plan out the rest if there is a lot going on - Boundaries & Transparency - Identify a self care routine

We hope this little gem gave you the permission to REST UP and be absolutely ok with that.

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by our last Baklava Session, where we talked about divine experiences and coincidences in our lives that just seemed TOO WEIRD to be random.

So with this theme in mind, we decided to talk about the concept of synchronicity, which was a term first coined by psychologist Carl Jung. It refers to meaningful coincidences that mysteriously occur in our lives.

We want you to reflect on this and ask yourself the following:

What are some synchronicities I've noticed in my own life?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Articles Mentioned:

Resources: 

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THE UNIVERSE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. Welcome all to another Baklava Session, where we go on rants and unscripted discussions about life, being a woman, self love, and whole bunch of other topics. Today, we're discussing strange coincidences in life. Whether it's meeting someone at the right time who plays a pivotal role in your life or a sequence of events that seem to be pointing you in the right direction. It's a little woo-woo, yes. But we LOVE it.

So sit back and maybe reflect on moments in your life that just seemed too good to be true at times. Or... start PAYING ATTENTION and noticing things around you that can open up amazing opportunities.

We hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. As always, thank you for your support and love. You guys are the best.

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's little question comes from our episode Monday which was all about trusting yourself. We talked about our own struggles with this and how we sometimes get in our way in trusting ourselves because of fear, not being clear on our vision and also simply, not wanting to step out of our comfort zone. 

With this in mind, we are asking YOU:

What do you think you can gain when you choose to trust yourself?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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You have probably heard this time and time again, to trust ourselves; however, how many of us can truly say we trust in ourselves to make the best choices, decisions, and actions for us? I know that we have been still working on this for ourselves. In this episode, we talk about the challenge being trusting ourselves as well as how to build that trust by sometimes take a little time to disconnect, step back a little.

[1:58] Knowing Your Value. We believe that the foundation of building trust in yourself is knowing your value INTERNALLY versus any external validation. We both share our experiences of how difficult it was to know this value in our earlier years of our career.

[5:00] Figuring Things Out. Oh, what a deceptively simple concept this is. As planners, we describe how figuring things out on the way has been such a challenge for us but how it has also been a key to unlocking that trust-building within ourselves. We also talk about how depression and anxiety have impacted this journey. 

[9:38] Your Vision Story. Sometimes to help see what decisions align best with you, it is beneficial to take a step back and figure out what vision you see yourself fulfilling. We break down what a vision story is and how sometimes disconnecting yourself to do this can help you build that trust in yourself to make decisions that best align with that story.

[13:00] Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone. What leads us to experiences, choices, and risk is also stepping out of your own little bubble. This, in itself, exposes you to so much more opportunity to determine what is right for you. Nina discusses how this has helped her finally leave her job. 

[17:05] Impactful Moments. Natassia shares a moment in her life when she chose to trust herself and how that changed her path moving forward and also how it impacted others. We also discuss the lovely "what-if" cycle that sometimes paralyzes us from moving forward boldly and defining what positive expectancy is.

[23:00] Human Resilience. In tying in with the idea of positive expectancy, in the book, A Man's Search for Meaning, we discuss how the author did not allow the trauma he went through to paralyze his decisions and how he put into practice the idea of positive expectancy.

[24:29] Takeaways. Some little nuggets of wisdom in building that trust in yourself include:

Take a little leap of faith and we will be right there with you!

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by our lovely little catch-up session on Monday. We talked about so many interesting topics, but the one theme that ran current with everything we were going through is UNCERTAINTY. 

So with this theme in mind, we are asking:

What can we do to stop the spiral into the uncertainty abyss?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Welcome to another Baklava Session, our episodes where things are little more lighthearted and serve as a therapeutic vent session. Today we're BACK after a little break and we are simply catching up on life today.

Both of us talk about all the things we have experienced in the last few weeks including which struggle bus we are on currently, tropical travels, sabbaticals, and lovely wedding plans (or lack thereof haha).

Let us know your thoughts, guys. You know where to reach us :)

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

IT IS OK TO BE A HOT MESS. Welcome to another solosode! It is Nina's turn to share a little bit about how much being a "hot mess" is not accepted not only in society but in Nina's own little world. Much like Natassia, this little dialogue was also inspired by a conversation she had with her coach, Angie Sanchez. Nina wants to flip this idea on its head and thus, shares how she has turned to be a hot mess into something successful, beautiful, and transformative.

Some of the things Nina discusses

Have you struggled with being a hot mess? We have all been there but it is in this season we grow SO MUCH. You're not alone on this journey and it is perfectly ok to be your most vulnerable self here with us at BYNT. You know where to reach us... we’ll be there for you boo!

Resources: 

Book Mentions: Conversations with God - An Uncommon Dialogue - Book1 by Neale Donald Walsch

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It is time to ride the hot mess express and be ok with it!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

ENDINGS LEAD TO NEW BEGINNINGS. Welcome to another solosode! It’s been a while since we’ve had one of these episodes! In this solosode, Natassia shares some thoughts around making peace with saying goodbye, which was inspired by a conversation she had with her coach, Angie. Sometimes we have to accept the fact that things need to end... whether it’s a friendship, job, place or situation we’ve become familiar with.

Natassia shares some of her struggles and the emotions she felt when she needed to say goodbye to a relationship or a situation that no longer served her. It’s a shorter episode, but we hope it can inspire you to reflect on times in your life that you had to walk away from something.

Some of the things Nat discusses

Is there something you’re struggling to say goodbye to right now? Maybe you have said goodbye to something or someone, but you still haven’t made peace with it. We want to let you know, that you’re not alone. You know where to reach us... we’ll be there for you boo!

Resources: 

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Don’t be away to walk away from something that no longer brings you happiness!!!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Today's topic was inspired by the incredible interview we recently had with Ciara Ladroma, who is a Mindset Expert. We talked about so many interesting topics, but one key thing that Ciara is adamant about is being SELFISH with your energy. Actually, she calls herself the CEO of Being Selfish With Your Energy... We love it. 

So with our latest interview in mind, we are asking YOU:

How can you be selfish with your energy? What does that look like for you?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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HAPPY, HEALTHY AND WEALTHY. Guys, we have such a fun and exciting interview that we’re happy to share with you all. We sit down for a chat with Ciara Ladroma, who calls herself the Wealthy Minimalist. She helps people change their mindset in regards to happiness, health and wealth. We discuss a lot, from learning to date yourself to protecting your energy and so much more. So sit back and get ready to hear some truth bombs! 

[1:15] Who is Ciara at her Core? Ciara talks about who she is - not her job - but who she is right now and where she is going. She discusses working on finding who she really is over the past few years and why she decided to be selfish with her energy.

[7:49] Redefining Happy, Healthy and Wealthy. Where did this idea stem from and what does Happy, Healthy and Wealthy really mean?

[14:05] Being Honest About Your Truth. Ciara opens up about how she doesn’t want clients to assume she grew up poor and struggled with money due to her circumstances, when her experience was actually the opposite.

[18:20] Escaping Tying Our Identity to Work. The choices that lead to Ciara becoming a “minimalist.” She shares how in 2018 was when she started to separate her job title from her worth. Realizing that she didn’t know who she really was anymore outside of her job. Ciara’s decision to Choose Sober, when she decided to stop drinking and change her mindset.

[22:40] “Better Is Coming.” Losing friends because of her decisions, which in the end gave Ciara room to welcome more positive people into her life. She shares some words of wisdom to anyone who may be struggling with these changes in their lives and feeling push back.

[25:45] Growing Up as a Filipina in America & Fitting In. Ciara explains struggling as being a black sheep in her family, but feeling like she always fit in when it came to school. 

[35:30] Learning to Date Yourself. Ciara shares how she lost herself in a relationship a few years ago and how she had to work on building her confidence again.

[41:10] Finding Yourself After a Toxic Relationship. Learning to do things for yourself and making time for things you enjoy.

[45:10] Being Selfish With Your Energy. Showing others how you want to be treated by asking for permission to open up about something. By putting up boundaries, you can retrain people to see how you want to be treated and also give them permission to do the same.

[57:29] We Attract The Same Energies. You will attract people who are aligned with your values and you can inspire others to change their energy as well.

[1:01:00] What Was Your Be You Not Them Moment? We close out the interview with a point in Ciara’s life where she chose to be HERSELF and choose her authenticity.

We talked about a lot in this interview, but we hope that Ciara’s infectious energy can inspire you to embrace your true self. If anything, we hope Ciara’s story can remind you that you’re not alone on your journey and, as she said it herself, “Better is coming.”

Where You Can Find Ciara:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ciaraladroma/?hl=en 

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our minisode will highlight what we discussed in Ep. 52, which was all about those negative little coping habits we may engage when faced with challenges. We not only defined what coping mechanisms are and the different types (yes...there are different types, who would have thought) but also shared which negative habits we fall into.

So for today's Mini Pick Me Up, we're going to ask each other (and YOU!):

What is a negative coping skill that you replaced with something positive?

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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#52 - Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

How often, when met face to face with challenges, we fall victim to some unhealthy habits to cope? We are over here waving hands like CRAY because like you, we have all been there.  In this episode, we dive into not only what it means to “cope” but also what NOT to do when faced with what may seem like insurmountable challenges (or annoying ones, really). 

[1:38] What does it mean to "cope". We define a little bit what coping means and the different strategies that we may employ when we are faced with challenging situations. These strategies include:

[8:21] Which one are we. Out of the strategies listed we dive into the strategy that best fits our personal way of coping...surprise surprise, we have a little all three.

[10:47] What NOT to do.  We have all been there where we employed coping mechanisms that were no bueno for us. Some of these mechanisms are rooted in our upbringing which we talk a little a bit about. Though not a complete list, some of these unhealthy coping mechanism include:

[21:41] Coping Takeaways. How can we stop ourselves from diving into these unhealthy coping mechanisms? We provide the following:

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our minisode will highlight what we discussed in Ep. 51, which was about why fitting in SUCKS. We vented about some of our experiences where we felt like we had to bottle ourselves up in order to be liked or please others.

So for today's Mini Pick Me Up, we're going to ask each other (and YOU!):

Share an experience where you thought, "I don't fit in here" and were fine with it.

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Welcome to another Baklava Session, our episodes where things are little more lighthearted and serve as a therapeutic vent session. Today we're heatedly discussing why we think trying to fit in SUCKS. 

Both of us talk about our own experiences of trying to fit in, whether at work, with friends or even expectations that are put on us by those around us. All in all, if we had to rate how we felt when we were trying to fit into a mold that wasn't made for us, we would rate the experience a 0 out of 10.

So if you have been struggling with fitting in somewhere, let this episode be a reminder that you don't need to change yourself in order to belong! Being yourself is so much more rewarding than having people like you for someone you are not.

We hope you enjoyed today's Baklava Session! Let us know your thoughts, guys. You know where to reach us :)

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our minisode will highlight what we discussed in the AMAZING interview with Sarrah Rose released Monday. We talked about everything from sexual empowerment, self-love and healing as well as using tantra to build sexual confidence. Give the negative flack surrounding sex convos, in today's minisode, we just basically vent about how we need to change the sex negative culture into one that is positive, open and less fearful than the one we were all brought up with. Also, stay until the end because Nina has a cute little announcement to make.

We’d love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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YOUR SEXUALITY IS YOUR POWER. We're so excited to have Certified Tantra, Love and Relationship Coach, Sarrah Rose on our show today. Sarrah advocates for how self-love and healing are necessary for both men and women to heal their relationship with their sexuality. The path to promote a more sex positive culture has NOT been easy and she opens up about this with her upbringing and relational trauma. Let’s dive in and find out about these other healing modalities and simply talk about sex.

[3:14] Who Is Sarrah Rose? Sarrah explains how a yoga class at the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT) led her to tantra and its role in releasing emotional trauma inhibiting us from fully stepping into our sexual identities. 

[5:11] Misconceptions of Sexuality. Sarrah explains that these misconceptions are gender dependent. Men and women sex is bad or dangerous, or oppsite conditioning in having. Women sex is bad, can’t display sexuality. Conditioning to make sexual trauma through, sets a very ripe stage for people to experience a lot of sexual abuse and trauma. Sex negative society

[8:00] Sex-Negative Culture. When we shove down our sexuality, which is a part of our biology, the more thwarted and fearful it becomes.  The lack of conversations around sex lead to misconceptions about what are sexuality is supposed to be like. Sarrah emphasizes how self-love is where we can begin in promoting a more sex-positive culture

[12:51] Role of the Primal Brain. We dive into a little how our feelings around sex being safe is rooted in trauma stored in the primal brain, internal resistance

[17:56] Tantra and Shadow Work. Sarrah and Nina share their own trauma with infidelity and development of performance anxiety. Sarrah explains how shadow work and tantra were two main healing modalities to bring the repressed parts of herself back to our consciousness to integrate and heal them.

[25:00] Lacking Sexual Confidence Impacting More Than We Think. Sarrah explains how lack of intimacy or sexual confidence impacts our self actualization in other areas of our lives. She explains this impact through utilizing the chakra system and Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

[30:00] What is Tantra? We try to break the taboo around tantra as we ask Sarrah to explain what this is, it’s origins in India, as well as the difference between Classical and Neo-Tantra.

[33:25] 4 Tantric Basics To Begin Healing. Sarrah dives into how to breath, sound, movement and focus are used and how putting these four pieces together expands your sexual energy.  We jaw drop about generating how movement and manipulation of energy can generate energy orgasms...WHAT THE WHAT!

[41:21] Sex Magic. This lovely, empowering  practice that Sarrah describes helps us define the identity we want to show up in the bedroom and further define what we want to experience.

[46:00] Building Sexual Confidence and Consent is SEXY. We discuss how using our voice is a big empowering step forward, especially with consent and how changing our mindset to be wealthy with our sexual energy. This all begins with healing our relationship sexually

[1:02:00] What Was Sarrah’s Be You Not Them Moment? The question we ask all our guests on the Be You Not Them podcast. 

We hope that Sarrah’s experience and advocacy shed a little more light on what it means to be sexually empowered and how critical tantra is as a healing modality to get our sexual power back. We are incredibly thankful for Sarrah and the transformative work she is doing!

You know where to reach us guys. We would love to know your feedback and thoughts on today’s interview.

You Can Find Sarrah at:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tantricactivation/ as well as https://www.instagram.com/tantricactivation.queens/ which is page geared towards women’s sexuality

Her website: https://tantricactivation.com/

You can listen to Sarrah’s Podcast, Sex and Sarrah Rose on Apple Podcasts or Spotify 

Also stayed tuned for Sarrah’s free 10-day Tantric Activation Immersion on May 9th! Link is to be up the website in the beginning of April!

Books/Resources mentioned:

Becoming Cliterate by Dr. Laurie Mintz

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, specifically Ch. 11 Sexual Transmutation

BYNT: 

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Sending you all love <3

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in episode 49, which was all about chasing success and achievement in the hopes of VALIDATION. As two Type A personalities, it really hit home for us.

Our question for this week is: What was an achievement that you were chasing for all the wrong reasons?

We’d love to hear your experiences! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Welcome to your mini pick me up! On Monday, we talked about getting ghosted in our little Baklava Sesh. For this lovely mini pick me up, we are changing things up! No question this week but rather a series of little affirmations that remind you of the bad ass warrior you are, no matter what ghosting scenario you face.

As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to another Baklava Session, our episodes where things are little more lighthearted and we're seriously just winging it. This one we talk about getting ghosted...and no, not the paranormal activity type of thing. 

Both of us share being ghosted as well as ghosting others in the dating and relationship realm; however, being "ghosted" extends beyond dating.  We also share getting ghosted in our friendships and in work opportunities. Listen in on some of the most strangest texts that Nat has received which would give any woman a reason to never respond. 

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Continuing on from our last episode, When You're Told You're "Too Much", we are going to discuss the flip side of being too intense. If you're like us, you may have been ostracized or judged for your too muchness. But today, we're going to celebrate our intensity together!

Today's question is: How do you embrace your intensity?

As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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TOO AMBITIOUS. TOO LOUD. TOO EMOTIONAL. You get the picture. Ladies, have any of you been there? Nothing gets us rolling our eyes more than hearing someone tell us we're "too much." So let's talk about why being TOO MUCH is actually an amazing thing.

Defining Being “Too Much”

Written Examples

Why is being "too much" your superpower?

Don't bottle yourself up to make other people more comfortable. Ew. No. Unleash your "too muchness." Maybe you can inspire someone to be too much as well. :) Thanks for listening guys and we hope you enjoyed today's episode.

Books/Articles mentioned:

https://medium.com/the-ascent/5-ways-being-too-much-is-your-superpower-b28adf85085d 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/201904/been-told-you-are-too-much-all-your-life 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! It is yet another mini book club sesh!!! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was about the books we are currently reading and what we absolutely love about them. In light of this, we share our top 3 books that have left us with our jaws dropped.

As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Books Mentioned:

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

It's Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst

Abundance Now by Janet Switzer and Lisa Nichols

Untamed by Glennon Doyle (surprise surprise)

Resources: 

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Welcome to another Baklava Session, our episodes where things are little more lighthearted and we're seriously just winging it. This one we actually use as an excuse to have our own little a book club.

Both of us share are non-fiction and fiction reads at the moment ranging from psychology to 50+ year love affairs (oooo how intriguing).  We also discuss some of the books that have impacted us the most. Always wanted to be a part of a book club? Well, let today be that day as we nerd out over all of our reads.

Books mentioned in this episode include:

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in episode 45, which was all about how we have managed to keep our friendship strong over the last 15 years! In light of that we ask this week:

What is a common theme or trait in your friendships that you value?

What is something that you have noticed is important to you in a friendship? This is a great exercise to realize what exactly you value the most in friendships. Don't be scared to reach out to us guys! You know where to find us. Sending lots of love your way <3

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FRIENDSHIPS TAKE TIME. In today's episode, we're talking about something that a lot of us struggle with in adulthood, which is maintaining friendships. When we were younger, we all thought our best friends would be our BFFs 4 LIFE, right? And then suddenly we're adults and we're like, "Well, that didn't work out..."

We have been friends for over 15 years, so we'd like to think we have an idea of what's made our friendship not only last long, but become stronger throughout the years! So, we're going to discuss some things that we think have helped us maintain our strong friendship.

Do any of these tips to maintain friendships resonate with you? We hope you found this episode helpful, especially during quarantine times where it's easy to feel disconnected from others. Friendships take effort to maintain, but it's totally worth it if it's a friend that lifts you up and inspires you to be the best version of your self every day. Trust us <3

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was all about identity and the fact there is actually no old or new identity, just your authentic self. In light of that we ask this week:

What was a recent experience where your old ways almost got in your way?

We’d love to hear your experiences and how you stopped your old ways from realizing your authentic self. As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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You have probably heard the phrases “building my best self” and “stepping into the new me” several times. We know we have said this to ourselves time and time again; however, have you ever thought about what this may actually mean? This episode we talk about how entering into your “new self” is more about aligning with your authenticity rather than creating a completely new identity. Let's dive in and challenge what it means to shed off the "old" and walking into the "new".

[2:04] Being a “better version of you". We have all heard this about the need to "reinvent" ourselves. We point out the shortcomings of this phrase and how it is really about being more intuned with your authentic self. These shortcomings include:

[3:21] Why do we struggle with the old versus new mentality? Some of the reasons why we constantly battle between these two can be:

[19:55] A different take on the "new" me. Simply put, there is no OLD you or a NEW you, there is just YOU. Identities evolve as mentioned in Mark Manson's article of Stop Trying to Change Yourself. Some mic drop moments include:

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

Resources: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! LET'S CELEBRATE OUR WEIRDNESS TODAY!!! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was about us being huge weirdos. We want to encourage you to embrace your "weirdest" qualities. In light of this, this week's question is:

What is a weird characteristic that you appreciate?

You can ask this to yourself... or have a loved one share with you a "weird" quality that they LOVE about you. We ask each other this question in a way to embrace this weird quirks we've come to love about each other.

As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Welcome to another Baklava Session, our episodes where we're seriously just winging it and venting to each other about our experiences. This one gets a little weird, which is not surprising, because it's about EMBRACING you inner weirdo.

Both of us have always been "weird" since we were younger. From dancing all over the place to making pterodactyl noises... we share what we think makes US weird. 

When you're labeled as weird or a weirdo, it's because you don't conform to those around you. Weirdos embrace their true authentic selves without caring about others thinking they're strange.

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*insert pterodactyl screams here*

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was about life sometimes dealing you a crappy hand. We not only talk about how we overcame some of life's more recent curveballs but also share some amazing golden nuggets from some new authors (I know finally...but Glennon Doyle does make another appearance). In light of this, this week's question is:

When was time that you felt stronger after a time of suffering?

Share this with us as we love to highlight the successes of our thrive tribe! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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Simply put, life can be a real piece of work. We sometimes get dealt the difficult hand whether it be losing a job to the end of a relationship. Though life can be tough sometimes, these challenges allow seeds to be planted such that we can blossom later on. 

[1:58] Life & Suffering. Yes, we are choosing a different book to quote from...finally. In Viktor Frankl’s book, Man's Searching for Meaning, Frankl gives quite the insightful definition for suffering.

[4:23] Path of Restoration. As it is also a common theme throughout biblical text, suffering is meant to have us walk through a path to be restored. 

[7:36] Glennon Doyle On Becoming. We reference, yet again, our favorite book Untamed in which Glennon describes how pain is utilized to come into our own being.

[12:13] Nat's Challenges. We both take some time this episode to share how we overcame some tough moments in recent years. Nat shares her story about suffering through multiple panic attacks that often make her feel like she disappears and simply operates like she is on autopilot.

[16:58] Perpetual Cycle. Nina explains that we sometimes put ourselves in these cycles of suppressing or trying to stop what we are feeling. This often heightens our anxiety in the moment and can simply magnify the challenges we are going through.

[18:17] Sign For Help. Nat shares that with her panic attacks, she realized that she does not have her anxiety under control and that she needed help. Sometimes our challenges reveal to us what we may need help in and encourages us to reach out.

[19:00] Nina's Challenges. Nina shares her back to back struggles of 2019 from workplace harassment, physical illness and the icing on the cake, her break-up. What each of these instances revealed was her need to utilize therapy and coaching to overcome some of the insecurities that triggered some of these events.

[21:50] Sitting with it. Nina shares how sitting with some of these difficult challenges enabled her to overcome them instead of running away from them which was her usual coping mechanism. 

[25:18] Perpetual Mental Suffering. This, much of the time, can be a dark abyss. We highlight how sometimes the smallest wins and the slightest glimmer of faith can bring us out of this abyss.

We want to remind our listeners that here at Be You Not Them, we aspire to create a community that provides the space in which we all walk through this journey called life together. This is a space where we share our challenges...a space where we are not in fact alone in whatever we may be going through. We are here for you and encourage all the support possible to make you BLOSSOM.

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was an amazing interview with Shay Rowbottom.  In this interview, we discover how Shay found her authentic self in overcoming, what may seem to many, insurmountable challenges. Go check out the interview if you haven’t yet! For this week, we reflect on something beautiful that Shay said about making the right decision:

You can make the right decision and still feel sad about it.

We share how this quote applied in some of the decision we had to make and we also debunk the need for the right decision to feel peaceful and certain. As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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FINDING YOUR POWER. We’re so excited to have the LinkedIn Video Coach & Expert, Shay Rowbottom on our show. Shay owns a 7 figure business and started a successful video marketing agency by her mid-20s. However, her road to success was NOT easy and she opens up about the toxic relationships and childhood trauma she recently had to overcome in order to start healing.

TRIGGER WARNING: In this episode we do talk about subjects that can be triggering. We discuss childhood trauma like rape and molestation. We also talk about Shay’s experience with ayahuasca, which is a plant medicine. We want to keep things real with you & provide a safe space for others to share their story, which is why we wanted to bring Shay on the show as she is a testament that you can persevere through trauma.

[4:10] Who Is Shay Rowbottom? Shay explains how her ‘trajectory’ started when she wanted to become a rapper and started getting more involved in video editing and content through that. From writing her own raps to suddenly owning her own video marketing company. 

[7:50] Something Missing. Shay started feeling depressed and felt like she was starting to lose herself even though her career was skyrocketing. She speaks about writing in her journal, asking God to help her feel alive again.

[9:00] Learning About LinkedIn & Finding Her Power. Shay starts learning about LinkedIn and how it started to empower her, but also feeding into her need for validation. Shay started building a community that kept her invested.

[15:05] Moving To Miami, Facing Her Victim Mentality & Learning About Plant Medicine. How a huge fight with her ex, which led to him telling Shay she was always playing the victim. This lead to Shay being open to trying ayahuasca. 

[22:30] Reliving Repressed Trauma. Shay explains how through her plant medicine experience, she relived memories she had previously repressed trauma from rape in her childhood. She discusses how she started to connect the dots with a lot of struggles and paths she went down as a teenager and how it all started to make sense.

[25:00] Healing & Breaking Free from Trauma. Unpacking the trauma that shattered Shay’s life. She discusses how she went all in on healing to deal with the repressed trauma she was facing. Realizing how her toxic relationships in her life tied back to her childhood trauma.

[36:13] Narcissistic Parenting. Shay discusses the prevalence of narcissistic parenting and her own experience with her own childhood and family.

[39:05] Cutting Out Toxic Family & Friends. Shay talks about how at first she kept trying to make her relationship work with her family and how she would always try again to make their relationships work before she realized it wasn’t what was best for her. She also recognizes how she probably had a part to play in her disconnect with her sisters.

[46:55] “In order to heal you have to get honest”

[48:30] Breaking the Cycle & Step into Your Power.  We discuss breaking through trauma and realizing negative patterns in our lives. It’s TIME to BREAK the cycle. The three of us chat about healing and recognizing how repressed trauma can affect so many aspects of our lives.

[59:57] Helping Others Heal & Break Free. Shay talks about her trauma and flaws have drawn business people to her course who, while initially interested in marketing, end up really wanting someone to help them heal and become more authentic.

[1:05:00] What Was Shay’s Be You Not Them Moment? The question we ask all our guests on the Be You Not Them podcast.

Wow. What an interview! We hope that Shay’s story resonated with you. We discussed a lot. From childhood trauma to plant medicine to finding your power… but we’re thankful Shay was able to be so raw with us.

You know where to reach us guys. We would love to know your feedback and thoughts on today’s interview.

You Can Find Shay at:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shayrowbottom/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shayrowbottom/ 

Her website: https://www.shayrowbottom.com 

You can listen to Shay’s Podcast, The Shay Rowbottom on Apple Podcasts or Spotify 

Books/Resources mentioned:

“Mothers Who Can’t Love” by Susan Forward, Ph. D.

BYNT: 

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Sending you all love <3

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

It's time for your mini pick me up of the week! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was all about finding your purpose AND living with purpose. We share our own struggles with our ever-changing "Purpose" and some ways to reflect and identify your own purpose.

So, in the theme of Finding Your Purpose, today's question is:

Which of your traits & attributes seem to stand out most?

This is a unique one because we want you to do this one with a friend or a loved one who knows you well! Maybe you can ask several people to see if there's a common trait of yours that pops up! We'd love to know what your answer to this weeks question is and if it's helped you reflect on your WHY. You know where to find us <3

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WHAT IS YOUR “THING”? We hear this all the time and for us this was a source of some of our existential crises in our 20s. What. Is. Our. Purpose. Maybe you already have yours figured out or maybe you’re still trying to define yours. We didn’t really understand ours until this past year, so it’s never too early or late! We discuss what “purpose” means, as well as some of our misconceptions about what our WHY really was. Then, we give some takeaways for how you can find what your inner purpose is!

[2:32] Defining Purpose. Sooo, what does this all mean? What does it mean when we say “find your purpose”?

[9:04] Can Your Why Change? Nina shares how she believes that our why can change throughout our life based off of our experiences.

[13:25] Living a Purposeful Life vs. Striving for our Purpose. What does it mean to live a purposeful life? It extends through all aspects of your life.  Your living your life aligned to something bigger than yourself, your work, your passions, etc.

[17:40] So What are the Next Steps?? So what do you need to do to align or find your purpose?

Do you know what your purpose or why is? Or are you still struggling with defining that? We’d love to hear your thoughts, comments and feedback guys! 

Books/Resources Mentioned: 

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“I’M GOING TO TURN EVERYONE INTO A CANDLE.” - Natassia

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

It is Thursday and you know what time it is!!! Your mini pick me up is here and ready for you! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was all about our lovely career mishaps. We share laughs, worthy cringe moments, and rolling eyes to some of the mishaps we discussed. In light of our little sesh, we ask:

How do you recover or brush off the career mistakes made?

We’d love to hear your how YOU overcame those little oopsies! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Have you ever face-palmed so hard at some mistake that happened at work? I know you can't see us but we are raising and waving our hands like crazy because we have TOTALLY been there. From emotional breakdowns to things we wished we didn't say, we go over ALL our little career oopsies in this lovely little sweet baklava sesh.

[2:32] That Facepalm Moment. We share the most trivial yet embarrassing mistakes that our lovely little minds will never make us forget. Stories range from Nina not knowing how to put clothes on accurately to Nat being her peak awkward self.

[7:22] Thank you Siri. Nat shares how years ago she set up Siri to address her by a different name. It is all fun and games until it gets announced to your boss because your iPhone decided to go rogue...cute.

[11:58] Holiday Party Gone Wrong. You know how they warn you to control your booze at holiday parties? Lightweight Nina forgot about that and somehow found herself in the men's bathroom.

[14:13] When Your Face Says It All. Nat is notorious for her facial expressions but sometimes they can be so involuntary that they show up at some interesting times. Nina is also not immune to this.

[25:17] Speaking Out About Uncomfortable Situations. On a more serious note, we talk about harassment and how we both have experienced this in our professions. Sometimes we didn't speak up and we shared why we wished we were more vocal.

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your Mini Pick Me Up!!! In this minisode, we continue talking about our topic from Episode 38, which was about how social media can impact our mental health. While there are definitely downsides to using social media, we both agree that there are ways to make it more POSITIVE. So, today's question is:

What is a positive, healthy habit that you have developed with social media?

What is YOUR answer to this week's question? Do you have a healthy habit you have put in place with social media... or are you still working developing better habits around it? You can always reach out to us on our website or on our instagram (which is DEFINITELY a positive social experience).

Love you guys! Crush the rest of your week <3

Resources: 

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OUR UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH SOCIAL MEDIA. Ever feel like crap after spending a lot of time scrolling through your Instagram/Facebook/TikTok/whatever account? We feel you. We’ve been there. Let’s talk about how social media can negatively impact us if we’re already not feeling ok about ourselves, plus positive ways to use social media so that we can feel GOOD.

[2:05] Sharing The Stats On Social Media & Our Mental Health. Want some proof? Don’t worry… we’ve got some stats! We also reflect on what this research is showing us and how we’ve seen this play out in real life.

[14:35] The Positive vs Divisive Sides of Social Media. Nina can talk for ages about how divisive social media is, but we both agree there are definitely positives as well.

[22:00] Reminders For Your Daily Life <3 Of course, your long-distance besties are here to remind you that you CAN find a way to make yourself feel GOOD via social media.

We hope the next time you’re feeling down because of something you saw on social media you remember this episode! And try to implement the little tips and reminders about social media into your everyday life. They have worked for us, so we hope they can work for you too. As always, we’re here to support you on your self-love journey. You know where to reach us, BYNT Family. <3

Books/Articles Mentioned:

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GET YOUR FACE MASK ON GIRL. BYE. (Sorry, Nina. Had to.)

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to our final mini pick me up episode of the year!!! If you haven’t checked out Monday’s episode, we took a lovely little walk down memory lane, reflecting on our highs and lows of 2020. In this journey down the yellow brick road, we ask ourselves:

What are YOU looking forward to in 2021?

We’d love to hear what you are looking forward to most and of course, CRUSHING 2021! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well and AGAIN, we thank you for all your support. We wouldn't be the same crazy tribe without you all. Let's walk into 2021 together, rising up to the challenges and dominating the fears that kept us back in 2020. 

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As we close this hellish year, we reflect on the high and lows that defined so much change for both of us  including the biggest of them all: STARTING BE YOU NOT THEM. Now for some, this year, despite external circumstances, was bomb diggity and for others, simply, a dumpster fire. In this Baklava Session we invite our listeners to come close this year with some lovely reflecting and share in our walk down memory lane.

[2:37] Shifting Perspectives. Nina begins our podcast with some of the shifts she has had in the way she had defined ambition and success in her life. Both Nat and Nina also share how much focus is placed on work and how much time it actually takes up in our lives.

[5:42] Run Away Anxiety. Nat shares how she realized this year how much her anxiety is NOT under her control with multiple panic attacks...SO FUN,

[7:30] Proud Moments. We shine a little light on each other in how friggin proud we are of the growth both of us have achieved ranging from the vulnerability that Nat has shared thus far to the growth in emotional intelligence in Nina.

[9:52] Nina's faith journey. Nina highlights the second growth moment of her 2020 journey which was her deepening her faith. In doing so, she was able to see where her hope lies and areas where her own identity is rooted.

[12:47] Start the Damn Youtube Channel. Given that the fatigue from her commute no longer became a thing (#workremotelife), Nat shared how the extra time helped her start a Youtube Channel which she has wanted to do for a while. No mo excuses.

[18:20] Checking Out Your Backyard. Nina highlights that as a plus in this pandemic is getting to know what is in your community through those lovely neighborhood walks that keep us sane from the work at home life. Nat explains how this also shows that connection with others virtually is just not enough.

[22:49] Let Us Not Forget Our BYNT Launch. Yes, we need to shine a big ass light on this moment of us launching this wonderful podcast. It has been a dream for us to do this and THANK YOU for being a part of this journey.

[25:00] The 2020 Lows. We share the depths of what we struggled from anxiety to deep depression. Listen to what led to Nina choosing to go sober for this year and Nat sharing the fact that we as humans are resilient.

THANK YOU

BYNT would not be where it is today without all of your support! We truly want to take moment and thank our listeners for putting up with our craziness. We love you and hoped this year, BYNT put a little sparkle in your life as your own stories put a sparkle in ours. Cheers to this crazy journey and we cannot wait what will be in store from BYNT and our lovely thrive tribe!

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Let's close out this year with a bang  <3

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Releasing this little Mini Pick Me Up right before the holidays, just to remind ourselves how we can deal with Loneliness, which was the main topic of Episode #36. You should definitely go check that episode out if you haven't yet, especially if you have been feeling a little alone.

This weeks question is:

What is something you do to combat feelings of loneliness?

We both share different ways that have helped us cope with feelings of loneliness, from Natassia focusing on gratitude while in the midst of a panic attack to Nina reflecting on her faith.

We hope this weeks episodes can help you feel a little less alone. Remember, you ARE loved. As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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A SYMPTOM OF SOMETHING DEEPER. Yikes. This one may be much needed for a lot of us. Have you ever felt really lonely? Yep. Especially in a year like 2020 when a lot of us are distant and disconnected from others, loneliness can creep up on you and make you feel much more isolated than you really are. We’re going to talk a little bit about our experiences WHY we tend to feel lonely sometimes… even when we can be in a room surrounded by people. 

[1:35] Let’s Start Out With Some STATS on Loneliness. These are a little eye-opening. 

[5:00] What is Loneliness and How Would We Describe It?

[6:50] The Different Types Of Loneliness. In Dr. Vivek Murthy’s book “Together”, he explains how there are many different facets of loneliness that people may experience.

[13:00] Loneliness vs. Being Alone: Lets define what being alone means… and how it is very different from just being alone.

[14:58] What drives us to feel this way?

[17:55] How Do We Combat Loneliness? We’re sharing a few tips on how to feel a little less lonely. What can we do to connect and make ourselves feel better?

Of course, we’re going to close out with a beautiful passage by Maya Angelou, to remind you all that you are NOT alone. If you’re feeling a little lonely, we hope this episode made you feel a little less alone. 

Books/Articles Mentioned:

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Sending much love <3

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to this week’s mini pick me up episode! If you haven’t checked out Monday’s episode, we challenged our listeners to EMBRACE change and think of why we may fear it. We also dropped the fun little fact that there is an actual phobia for fearing change. With that in mind, we ask ourselves this week:

What was a change in your life that was so impactful that it redirected you completely?

We’d love to hear these lovely changes, whether big or small! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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Why does change stir up such fear, nervousness & hesitancy in us? A new job, a big move, even the decision to travel solo...all these events may give us a mini breakdown because of our lovely frenemy, FEAR.  It is this fear that makes us question the change we are thinking about or stop us in our tracks of taking that action for change. Today, we want to change that. We want to have change be EMBRACED, like a little hand hug...awkward but cute. 

 [1:32] Adversity to Change. We dive right into calling out how change is viewed in such a negative light with fear, failure and uncertainty. Sometimes we receive this negativity from the people who counsel us the most. The moment we accept change, is when we become free from this negativity.

[4:32] Predicting the Outcome. Oooo how this reigns so true for many of us that when a new situation arises we don't know how it is going to play out and therefore, we tread SOOOO lightly.  Our thoughts just swarm with all the potential scenarios of that outcome...the "what ifs" and instead of embracing that moment, we just continuously plan on how to mitigate the outcome if it is negative.

[6:16] Impermanence of Life. Natassia brings up a good point in asking if the reason why people fear change is because of how it highlights the impermanence of life.

[7:24] WTF is Metathesiophobia? Yes, we really struggled pronouncing this one but the fear of change is an actual phobia. We not only give the scientific def of this phobia but also present data on it connecting it to different types of mindset, focusing on the following:

[10:12] Anthro View. And no, we don't mean the store, Anthrolpologie...Natassia brings in another unique perspective from the anthropology/archeology realm about how the flight or fight response conditioned us to stay safe within our circles. Of course, Nina enjoyed this POV, our lovely little archeology nerd.

[11:34] Our Own Change Paralysis. We both share experiences where we may have felt like we couldn't move forward with a change because of fear and how we overcame that 

[15:32] WAKE-UP CALL. We wanted to give all of you a friendly little wake-up call and that is:  the fear of change can severely limit you in so many aspects of your life from career to relationships. Don’t let it stop you in your tracks.

[16:30] Tips on Embracing Change. We offer the following little nuggets to help get over that change paralysis:

You have the power of choice and that is something beautiful so EMBRACE it!

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in episode #34, where we talked about our hilarious (and cringeworthy) dating experiences in our 20s. We laughed a lot and realized how far we've come after each experience. So, tying in to the topic of our last episode, today's question is...

What dating advice would you give your 20 year old self?

What is YOUR answer to this weeks question? We'd love to know what you've learned through your dating experiences as well... we can't be the only ones with cringeworthy moments!

Thanks so much for listening and for your support!

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It's time for another FUNNY Baklava Session. We cringed a lot recording this one, guys. We discuss all of our hilarious dating mishaps from our 20s. There are moments that made us see red, that made us shocked... and others that made us say, "WTF?"

We each share some cringeworthy moments from our 20s. Here are some of our favorite highlights (you'll have to listen to know more!):

... And that's only some of it! Let us know which story resonated with you the most. We'd love to hear your funny dating stories as well. We can't be the only ones with embarrassing dating experiences from our 20s! You know where to find us ;)

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Lean on me, when you're not strong... that song is forever ruined.

Nina & Nat

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was all about us challenging those lovely social norms for us women to follow. We also shared our own experiences with these norms and how we broke away from them.

Our question for this week is: What was an expectation you thought you had to meet? And how did you realize it was BS?

We’d love to hear your some of those expectations you smashed! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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Ever feel like your biological tock is ticking? Or perhaps feel that for your age, you are not where you need to be in your career? First off, who defines these norms for us and second, why do we need to abide to them? In this week's episode, we go through the all the lovely norms that society tells us women to follow and challenge the hell outta them. Get ready because we ain't holding back here.

[2:01] Early Wedding Bells. Marriage looks different for EVERYONE but one thing that we discuss is the pressure to get married in our 20s. Nina shares how this made her marriage obsessed and when entering her 30s as single lady, she felt she was doing something wrong.

[5:28] Babies before 30. We have all heard this one before, especially when we enter our 30s, about our lovely biological clock. We share those awkward moments when asked if we have kids...that is always fun.

[11:02] Career Milestones. We all have a set goals to either make CEO, partner or have our own business at a certain time in our lives but we remind our listeners that sometimes things don't go exactly to plan. Natassia shares how she used to compare herself to others around her age to gage where she needed to be in her career.

[14:14] Idea of Independence. As a society, we equate success with independence such as being financially independent, living on your own, buying your things, etc. Nina shares how she is redefining success in this area of her life with her move back home to Florida.

[18:54] Forever Young. We discuss how there is an emphasis on staying young & beautiful as we get older and how we fear being invisible as the years fly by. Natassia shares a little golden nugget she learned from Ben on how getting older is a privilege and blessing.

[22:22] Household Power Dynamics. We address a variety of topics within this norm and how each of our own cultures set up the expectations of these dynamics. These topics include:

It is only natural for us to say that the simple takeaway from all of this is BE YOU, not what others have defined for you.

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

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Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was about EMBRACING your 30s and getting older.  Go check out episode #32 if you haven’t yet! This week’s question is related to the knowledge and awareness we gained as we’ve lived through our 20s:

If you could go back 10 years ago, what would you tell younger you?

We could write a book as a response to this one! What would YOU say to younger you? As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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#32 - Embracing Your 30s And Getting Older

AGING IS BEAUTIFUL. We have another more lighthearted episode this week, where we’re going to talk about our fears and the false narratives we build up as we age… especially when you’re a woman! From the dreaded ‘ticking clock’ and fears of losing our youth, we talk about a couple of the expectations we feel we need to meet. And then we’re going to tell you those expectations are all BS :) 

[2:40] How We Feel About Turning 30. We both had COMPLETELY experiences as we turned 30, so we’re sharing our thoughts in hopes that you guys can relate.

[10:20] So… Why Do We Fear Our 30s and Aging? Comparing ourselves to others is what fuels our anxiety, plus having these FALSE expectations we feel we need to meet.

[19:30] The POSITIVES of Getting Older. So, what IS great about escaping your 20s and blooming in your 30s? 

This was a lighthearted episode that we hope helped you start your week off on the right foot. Remember, age is more about your mentality and perspective. There’s no expectation you have to meet. Just be yourself and FLOURISH.

You know where to reach us. Sending you a lot of love. 

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Here’s to being fabulous at any age!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was a little different than our typical episodes.  This time around, we wanted to check in on each other and see how the pandemic has impacted us both. We shared our challenges and some wins that we both experienced during this time. In light of those wins, we wanted to ask the following question:

What are three good things that have come out of the pandemic so far?

We’d love to hear your wins! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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We are doing something a little different today! As you know we have been in a pandemic for what seems like FOREVER. Today, we are doing a pandemic check-in in which both of us discuss how COVID brought some challenges and also empowering moments in our lives. 

[1:48] Check-in w/ Nat. Nat dives into her pandemic highs and lows which include the following:

[5:37] Check-in w/ Nina. Nina shares her own struggles with the pandemic below and was surprised to find herself that she was not in fact the work remote queen:

[10:15] Impact on Family. We share how much the pandemic  has impacted our family interactions from not being able to physically see our family to Nina experiencing the death of her grandmother due to COVID. 

[12:41] A Glimmer of Light. Both of us share some positive nuggets during this pandemic, enabling a little glimmer of light to shine in our lives. These nuggets include:

[17:25] 2020 is NOT cancelled. Many beautiful things happen out of what may seem like hell. We discuss how pivots really make us resilient and reveal light bulb moments that would not have happened otherwise (likeeee Nina moving back to FL *cough *cough).

[21:18] What Kept Us Sane.  We share the ONE thing that kept us from going cray during the pandemic: refraining from news coverage and social media

[26:08] Nina's Special Story. Ooo this one is too hilarious to capture in words but Nina share's how one experience has lead her to some big revelations during COVID.

[28:10] Generating your own income. Nat shares how COVID hit differently for 9-5 jobs and entrepreneurs. We challenge the idea of stability being in a 9-5 job.

We want to express that this pandemic hits everyone differently and BYNT is a space where you will be supported, no matter your experience thus far. You know where to find us and we are here for you.

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Standing together with you,

Nina & Nat

Welcome to this week’s mini pick me up episode! If you haven’t checked out Monday’s episode, we discussed ESCAPING the victim mentality and the reasons why we end up adopting this type of mindset in our life... where we relenquish responsibility for our own life and instead place it on others. 

So, to tie in to this week's topic... our question for today is:

How has victimhood impacted your life or relationships?

Nina discusses her OWN experiences of playing the victim, while Natassia discusses friendships that ultimately drained her due to friends constantly playing the victim in their lives.

Also - special shoutout to Rob Reynosa (@robreynosa_) for the little gold nugget of wisdom we share on today's episode.

We’d love to hear your answers to this week’s question! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. Either we’ve played the role of the victim in our lives or we have seen those close to us adopt a victim mindset. Why do we fall victim… to the victim mentality? See what we did there? So clever. Anyways, we’re going to discuss how to break free from this mindset and how we’ve seen the victim mindset throughout our lives, whether in ourselves or in others.

[2:45] A Pet Peeve of Ours. We discuss what frustrates us about having a ‘victim mentality’ in some of the relationships that we’ve had.

[4:04] What Is A Victim Mentality. This is a learned mindset. So let’s delve into a bit more.

[6:10] Signs You Have a Victim Mentality. Do you think you or someone else you know has a victim mentality? We go through what we’ve noticed when we typically play the victim in our life.

[15:10]  The Why Behind the Mentality. Why is it easy to fall prey to the victim mentality? We discuss a few reasons why people may default to this mindset.

[20:16] Unlearning The Mindset. How can we combat this and start changing this mindset to one of victim to survivor?

Remember - even if you’ve been through a traumatic experience or a negative experience in your life, why should you give it that negatively impact the rest of your life?

You know where to reach us. Sending you a lot of love. 

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You are NOT a victim. You are a survivor.

Baklava,

Nina

How often have we sat in our regrets of choices we made, paths we pursued or didn't pursue, and opportunities we walked away from?  I for sure have sat in these regrets for WAY TOO LONG. 

In this episode of my solosode, I walk through my regrets and how they colored my way of thinking and ultimately, what I felt to be failure. I have convinced myself for many years that my regrets are failures but it was not until recently I was able to look at regret in a different light. 

[1:46] A Special Thank You. Giving some credit to my girl Angie Sanchez for inspiring this solosode. She was the main inspiration to help me change my view of regret.

[3:06] Bye Bye Julliard. I begin my regret journey with one of my earliest regrets: turning down my audition for Julliard to pursue engineering. 

[5:04] The Childhood Dream. Often in my journey, I get reminded of my childhood dream of being a Nat. Geo explorer. This was first recognized during my second year of college in an Anthropology Class.

[6:30]  Our Lovely Friend Fear. Being inspired by my anthropology class, I felt compelled to connect with that department in my school but before I even talked to anyone, I was paralyzed by the fear of leaving engineering and disappointing others.

[9:25] New York Bound. After yet another sign pulling me back to what I loved, I head to New York to pursue my Master's in Historic Preservation. Even here, I discuss my third regret in turning down opportunities that were more aligned with my love for archeology.

[11:12] The Kicker. In recounting my experience of regret in pursuing an engineering path, I have learned to make peace with this path as a means to transcend my skills into something GREATER.

[12:47] How to Transcend. I know turning regret intro transcendence may be easier said that done. Below are some ways you can do this:

[16:36] Regret in Relationships. Though I discuss mainly my regrets in my career, I touch on the regret of carrying baggage into my relationships.

[17:34] Propelling Yourself Forward. I discuss that at the end of the day, once we transcend our regrets, it aids us into being better versions of ourselves.

You know where to reach us. Sending you a lot of love. 

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Turn those regrets around to be the best version of YOU!

Baklava,

Nina

THE STORY OF FORTRESS NATASSIA. Solosode time! We’re bringing you a new episode format here at the BYNT podcast… because, let’s be real, life has been hectic and your two besties have not been able to record together! 

This episode, I want to tell you a story about Fortress Natassia. A fortress that I built myself, to protect myself from ever getting hurt. These so-called emotional walls that stuck with me for most of my 20s.

[1:25] Building My Fortress. I discuss the beginnings of my ‘emotional walls’ and the reason I started building Fortress Natassia. My fears of experiencing any of my triggers and being hurt. Deciding who could and could not enter - and how much they could even see behind the walls.

[4:10] No Man Shall Pass. Men were definitely not allowed behind the fortress walls. I discuss how these walls prevented me from having any sort of deep or serious relationship. Access to my deepest thoughts or secrets? NOPE.

[7:07] Fortifying The Walls. Anytime I allowed anyone further in and got burned, I fortified the walls of Fortress Natassia. Anyone who came afterwards would be impacted because it was harder to get in.

[8:25] The Destruction Of Fortress Natassia. The beginning of the end to the emotional walls. I talk about meeting Ben, my boyfriend, and how he helped me slowly bring down the walls.

[14:18] The Beauty In The Destruction. The positive side of tearing down emotional walls. Realizing how the fortress was impacting ALL of my relationships and making me cynical. I had built this facade to come off as this STRONG and that no one could take me down… when it was just armor because I was so scared of getting hurt. 

[16:50] The Last Room Of The Fortress Standing... The whole reason that the fortress was built in the first place. My depression. I locked it away and hid it deep inside Fortress Natassia. The hardest part of the fortress to tear down.

[22:00] The Problem With Emotional Walls. We’re preventing ourselves from connecting with others when we have . “To be human is to also be in relationships, not just with others, but with yourself” - Angie Sanchez. 

I hope this story resonates with even just one person. If you’ve built your own Fortress, maybe this story can help you realize it’s time to tear down those walls. It may take time, but you can persevere through anything.

You know where to reach us. Sending you a lot of love. 

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Tear down those walls, because you don’t need them!

Baklava,

Nat (and Nina in spirit)

Welcome to this week’s mini pick me up episode! If you haven’t checked out Monday’s episode, we dove into how we can lose ourselves in relationships and the big red alarms that sound off when we do not stay true to who we are. Keep in mind this is NOT ONLY in romantic relationships but also our relationships with work, family and friends. We are all about NOT DULLING YOUR OWN SHINE! To help us keep shining bright, this week we ask ourselves:

What helps us stay true to ourselves?

We’d love to hear your answers to this week’s question! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources: 

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#27 - Losing Yourself In Relationships

Remember that friend who would disappear from the face of the earth when she entered in a new relationship? We have all had that friend or even was that friend (Nina is guilty as charged).  This episode is all about how we can lose our identity in relationships, whether it be friendships, romantic or even with work. Each of us has a unique light that makes us who we are; however, sometimes we enter relationships that dim that light. We are here to drop some truth bombs, identify red flags and remind you to SHINE BRIGHT, no matter what relationship you are in. 

[2:09] "You Complete Me". Oh boy, our absolute favorite phrase...NOT. We vent about how much we dislike this phrase and the confusion it brings forth.

[6:45] The Red Flags. We dive into some of the signs that you may be losing yourself in a relationships, some of these include the following:

[28:57] Takeaways. We offer some tips on reconnecting with yourself when you may be feeling like you are losing yourself a bit in a friendship, relationship or work:

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Don’t dull your shine!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! For those of you new to our thrive tribe, these little joys of fun are bite size tidbits that feature a question tying into each weekly episode. We will both answer the question and pitch it right back to our listeners!  

This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was all about how crying is not a sign of weakness and why we keep being ashamed of it.

Are you ready for this weeks question?

Question: Have you ever felt ashamed or guilty after crying over something? Why do you think that is?

We share how both of us still struggle with feelings of guilt whenever we cry in front of others.

We want you to feel less alone in this... it's ok to cry it out! You are not being a BURDEN on anyone. You can be a proud member of our Crying Club ;)

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

IT’S OK TO BE VULNERABLE. Anyone else struggle with crying or feeling guilty whenever you need to cry? Especially when you cry in front of others? Yeah, we can relate. This episode is all about CRYING and how tears do not mean we are weak. It’s been ingrained in most of us that we need to “suck it up” or “big girls/boys don’t cry.” It’s foolishness! Let’s break this down and talk about becoming more comfortable with our tears.

[3:13] Why Does Crying Have A Bad Rep? We discuss the main reasons why we are so uncomfortable with crying. From being afraid to be labelled as “too emotional” when you’re a woman to the taboo of crying in public… and many other reasons.

[7:51] Assigning Genders To Traits and Emotions. We share another passage from our new favorite book, “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle. How strength and bravery are associated with ‘masculinity’ and sensitivity is associated with ‘femininity’.

[10:31] The Lies We’re Told About Crying That Stick With Us. We’re breaking down the reasons that negatively impact our perception of crying and why it’s total BS.

[20:10] Crying Does Not Always = Sadness. We can cry happy tears. Any angry criers out there? Join our Angry Crier Club. 

[21:43] Flip the Script. Why Is Crying and Sensitivity Good? Let’s reframe the way we think about crying and look at it from a different perspective.

Can we start normalizing crying? And not having to be happy all the time? Let’s work on that together!

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Don’t be ashamed of your tears!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

It is that time of the week!!!!! Welcome to your mini pick me up! For those of you new to our thrive tribe, these little joys of fun are bite size tidbits that feature a question tying into each weekly episode. We will both answer the question and pitch it right back to our listeners!  

This week, we chatted it up about our close friend, ANXIETY. We not only discussed the various types of anxiety responses and how we have experienced them but we also talked about how we can turn anxiety into a SUPERPOWER. How you may ask? Check out Monday’s episode to find out! 

Today we ask ourselves and our lovely listeners the following questions:

When is your anxiety at its worst? How do you overcome that?

Resources: 

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In honor of World Mental Health Day, this week we have decided to release our much anticipated episode on ANXIETY. As many of you may already know, we have both dealt with anxiety and depression most of their lives and today we not only invite you into that crazy world but are here to remind you that you are NOT ALONE. Let’s get ready because this episode is PACKED with not only our experiences but ways in which WE ALL can master it!

[3:13] Anxiety Defined. Anxiety is NORMAL...yes, we said it. It is our body's natural response to stress; however, we describe how today's stress versus the stress at the dawn of mankind is VERY different. We break down anxiety into three different tiers in which some of us may fall in one or all three: 

[6:26] Physical. Anxiety can manifest physically via panic attacks, GI symptoms, sweating and  weight fluctuation. Nat has the most experience in this arena and shares her struggles with dealing with physical symptoms of anxiety.

[9:50] Mental. This by far Nina deems to be the most challenging to master. Mental manifestations of anxiety include intrusive and ruminating thinking, an inability to focus, catastrophizing, avoidance and feelings of losing all control. 

[15:05] Emotional. Nina expresses how this is the tier she struggles with the most. Some examples of emotional symptoms of anxiety include rapid cycling of emotions, being on edge, engaging in autopilot, and the lone soldier syndrome.

[17:48] Nat & Anxiety. Nat shares a beautiful essay expressing the feelings felt during panic attacks. Much of these panic attacks began to manifest in her early teenage years.  Nat identified that the primary trigger to these attacks was her feeling of loss of control regarding time, schedule, or especially not being able to tell an outcome of something right away. Nat also dives into the delayed responses resulting from her panic attacks which include GI symptoms.

[28:51] Nina & Anxiety. Nina shares how primarily one work experience drove her to experience anxiety in a way that she has never experienced before: the physical realm. This experience first manifested emotionally where she broke down in her car before work everyday for a year and then, the physical symptoms started to kick in which included her being unable to get out of bed, having body consistent body aches, extreme lethargy/fatigue and sleeping 12+ hours a day

[37:11] Opposite Ends of The Spectrum. We discuss how both of our experiences impacted our sleep but in opposite ways where Nina was essentially hibernating and Nat was a zombie barely getting sleep.

[37:53] Mastering Anxiety. We would be remiss without leaving the BYNT Thrive Tribe with some tips on how to master (not overcome, because let's be honest, we are going to keep facing it) anxiety which include:

[37:58] Being open to medication - As we know, Nina was very resistant to medication but she explains the options she executed in working with a medical professional

[42:02] Anxiety is a superpower. From their all time favorite book, Untamed, Nat shares some insight that Glennon Doyle writes in regards to shifting our own perspective about anxiety

[44:34] Being still + Identifying the type of processor you are. We often are quick to act when anxiety creeps up but Nat & Nina encourages us to take some time and sit with the anxiety and identify how you typically process it.

[48:40] Understanding your triggers. Do you notice a pattern of how your anxiety begins? Nina and Nat share some of the triggers that spark their anxiety.

[52:23] Identifying your tribe. You are not meant to walk this journey alone. Nat & Nina drive the point home of how important it is to have a strong support system that you can be vulnerable with.

Resources:

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

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You are a freaking superhero!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up!

This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was about how often we apologize. It's a struggle. The big takeaway is that we do not need to say sorry for EVERYTHING.

Your question for this week: What do you apologize the most for?

We discuss several things we typically are guilty of CONSTANTLY apologizing for. Natassia also says sorry to inanimate objects. Anyone can relate? No?

Let’s hear it BYNT Thrive Tribe! Share with us your own experience. What are some things that you apologize for that don't necessarily warrant an apology? What can you do to flip the switch and take ownership for in place of saying sorry? As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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ARE YOU REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT? This is something we’re definitely guilty of, because it’s so ingrained in us that it’s like we say “Sorry!” before we even realize what we’re saying. Have you ever apologized for taking up space? Or in your work e-mails all the time? Or for feeling an emotion other than happiness? If so, then we’re here with you and to tell you that this needs to stop! We’re going to have a vent session because we have noticed it’s so hard to kick this unless you become more self aware about it.

[1:45] Why We’re Talking About This. We need to STOP over-apologizing about everything to everyone. We are running on autopilot and apologize even when it’s not a situation that warrants an apology. 

[5:00] Why Do We Apologize So Much? We discuss why we believe we tend to apologize so much to others… as well as how these reasons can actually negatively impact us.

[11:40] What You Need To Stop Apologizing For. Let’s talk about some things you need to stop apologizing for, as of TODAY. We’re going to delve a little deeper to each one of these AND what you can say instead of apologizing for it:

[31:10] Our Ultimate Takeaway - Bring awareness and intention back to what a sincere apology for you may be. Pause and see whether the situation warrants a true apology or if it is necessary. Stop apologizing for taking up space.

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#SorryNotSorry… Just kidding, that’s cancelled too. 

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday’s episode which was all about setting those boundaries! We dove into how important it is to not only identify the boundaries you need to set but VERBALIZING them, especially when they are violated.  

Our question for this week is: Have you recently experienced one of your boundaries being violated? How did you handle it?

Let’s hear it BYNT Thrive Tribe! Share with us your own experience in handling boundary violations. As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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How many of us have struggled to set boundaries with others or in other areas of our life such as work or family? Ever feel guilty or that you are letting others down in doing so? We can certainly relate and know that we have ALL felt this way at one point or another. This episode we not only define different boundary types but also put to rest the many misconceptions regarding boundaries. Today, we challenge our listeners to reflect on what areas boundaries are needed. No need to fret because we are going to drop some knowledge bombs, experiences and hard truths that only came from our own mistakes that will help pave a path forward. Let’s start drawing our lines in the sand y’all!!! 

[1:58] Defining Boundaries. Nat describes boundaries as us telling other people how we want to be treated in all aspects of our lives.

[2:14] Boundary Types. Nat & Nina describe different types of boundaries which include physical, temporal and emotional.  First to be discussed is physical boundaries which though this boundary may appear to be easiest to achieve, the context as well as relationship dynamics can make this boundary more challenging. Nat shares an experience where she has experienced this challenge herself.

[7:00] Cost of Time. How often do we freely give our time and how much is it actually left for ourselves? This is the main struggle attributed to boundaries dealing with time. Nina shares her own challenges with this particular boundary.

[8:26] Emotional Boundaries & Empaths. Nat & Nina deem this one to be the most challenging, especially for empaths or highly sensitive people who take on the emotions of others.

[12:54] Boundary Misconceptions. It is time to hash out the lies we are told about having boundaries which include that boundaries are selfish or indicative of us not caring for others. Additionally, Nat & Nina address how sometimes we feel that we are letting others down with the boundaries we place.

[16:03] Boundaries at Work. We have all been there...overflowing our plate with work responsibilities, working overtime, and feeling like there are not enough hours in the day. Nat & Nina discuss how boundaries in your work are not only important for you but also to those that report to you if you are in a leadership position.  

[20:05] Relationship Boundaries. With the lovely play of personality dynamics, Nat & Nina emphasize the importance of communicated and agreed upon expectations that set these boundaries in all relationships including romantic and friendships. Nina & Nat touch on a few areas including:

[30:55] Drawing the Line with Family. This is especially challenging with the parent-child relationships with the misconception of respect to be had for our parents and vice versa.

[35:21] It is ALL Interconnected. Nat describes how boundaries in work, family, and relationships are all interconnected. If you do not put up a boundary for one area, it can potentially have negative implications in other areas of your life as well.

[38:35] THE Takeaway.  What we fear most is not just the boundary itself but actually COMMUNICATING them and WHEN they are being VIOLATED. This is especially challenging with those we may have close relationships with.

[45:15] Silent Non-negotiables. Sometimes as women, we are fearful to also discuss our non-negotiables in relationships and this sometimes causes unintentional friction and resentment that could lead to larger challenges down the road. Nat & Nina especially dive into the area of dating.

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We say this with love: Put the damn boundary up!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week we'll be discussing some of the microaggressions we've experienced throughout our lives. This was pretty much a vent session, guys. If you want to learn MORE about microaggressions, you should listen to our previous episode with Hilliary Turnipseed, where we had a chat about different types of microaggressions and how we can become more aware of them.

We’d love to hear your experiences as well! Maybe you get riled up as much as we do when it comes to this topic... As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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NOT SO HARMLESS COMMENTS. We’re so excited to welcome back the fabulous Hilliary Turnipseed to have a discussion about microaggressions that women, minorities and people of color typically face throughout their life. It’s an important topic and one that WE are not experts on, which is why we wanted to invite Hilliary over to shed some light on this! This is a casual chat (with lots of laughs) about a topic we ALL need to be more aware of.

[3:00] So… What Are Microaggressions Exactly?? Hilliary tells us what this means. These are very small behavioral cues that people say or do, UNCONSCIOUSLY, that affect how we behave and feel about ourselves.

[5:00] Examples From Hilliary’s Experience. Hilliary shares how she has faced microaggressions from other women of color for being “too white”. Competitiveness and putting other women down

[10:40] Seemingly “Harmless” Comments That Are Microaggressions. Things we hear or say everyday to others that actually can affect how others feel. Unconsciously stereotyping others based off of their gender, color of their skin or ethnicity. Some examples below:

[21:20] How Can We Recognize Microaggressions And What Do We Do? Trust your feelings and don’t gaslight yourself. Don’t develop a VICTIM mentality. 

[26:00] Microaggressions vs Unconscious Biases. What are the differences between these two and how are they related?

[27:40] Dealing With This In the Workplace & “The Memo”. How do you deal with constant microaggressions at work that can impact your mental health and self-esteem? 

[31:18] Some Additional Takeaways From Today. Changing habits that we don’t realize that we’re doing. It takes time and self awareness. It’s ok to make mistakes - be resilient and just keep learning. For people in HR or business owners, while training sessions are great, it’s not a one and done fix.

[37:58] Resources for You! Read “The Memo” by Minda Harts and listen to her podcast (#SecureTheSeat). Michelle Obama’s podcast to hear a perspective from a black first lady and her own experiences. DIVERSIFY your sources and read things from the perspective of those who are affected.

Where you can find Hilliary: https://www.hillstreetstrategies.com/ or find her on Instagram @hilliaryt

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We love you!

Baklava,

Nat & Nina