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The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com
- 342 - Episode 288: What You Don’t Know About STIs (Essential Listen)
It’s STI Awareness Month, so let’s take some time to brush up on our knowledge of sexually transmitted infections. You may think you already know everything there is to know, but trust me, you don’t! In today’s show, we’re going to discuss some surprising and lesser-known facts about STIs that challenge the conventional wisdom. For example, is someone who has a larger number of sexual partners necessarily more likely to have an STI than someone with fewer partners? Likewise, are things like pubic hair grooming and the rise of online dating apps affecting STI rates? For this show, we’re revisiting my conversation with Dr. Ina Park from all the way back in episode 39. She is an associate professor at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine and author of the book Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs. Why is it the case that having more sexual partners doesn’t necessarily translate to having more STIs? Broadly speaking, how do some of our sexual practices shape STIs? What’s the relationship between pubic hair grooming and STIs? What are some tips for individuals who want to talk about STIs with a sexual and/or romantic partner? How can we break down STI taboo and stigma to facilitate more open conversations on the subject? You can learn more about Ina’s work here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 30 Apr 2024 - 43min - 341 - Episode 287: Ethical and Legal Issues in Psychedelic Therapy
In the previous episode, we talked all about how psychedelics can help in treating sexual problems. In this episode, we’re going to dive into the ethical and legal considerations of psychedelic-assisted sex therapy. For example, how does consent work when patients are under the influence of a psychedelic drug? Likewise, how do therapists maintain appropriate ethical boundaries when working with clients who are in an altered and potentially vulnerable state? I am joined once again by is Jeff Lundgren, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and a psychedelic-assisted therapy provider. He runs a private practice based in Salt Lake City, Utah and is author of the new book “Unfolding Eros: A Journey into Psychedelic-Assisted Sex Therapy.” Some of the specific questions we address this episode include: What kinds of safeguards do practitioners need to be thinking about in order to minimize the risk of harm when someone is undergoing psychedelic-assisted therapy? What do people need to know about the potential side effects and health risks of psychedelic substances? What is the current legal landscape for psychedelic-assisted sex therapy? How do laws need to change in order to accommodate the practice of psychedelic therapy? What should you look for in a provider, and what are some red flags to watch out for? Check out Jeff’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 26 Apr 2024 - 30min - 340 - Episode 286: Using Psychedelics In Sex Therapy
We’ve long known that psychedelics have the potential to help treat various mental health issues, but researchers are starting to take notice of the potential therapeutic applications of these drugs for dealing with sexual difficulties. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into the small but growing world of psychedelic-assisted sex therapy. Some of the topics we’re going to discuss include how psychedelics can put us in the right state of mind for enjoying great sex, which psychedelics have the most promising applications for treating sexual difficulties, and what psychedelic-assisted sex therapy actually looks like. My guest is Jeff Lundgren, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and a psychedelic-assisted therapy provider. He runs a private practice based in Salt Lake City, Utah and he is author of the new book “Unfolding Eros: A Journey into Psychedelic-Assisted Sex Therapy.” Some of the specific questions we discuss include: What is a psychedelic anyway? How can psychedelics help create a feeling of presence during sex? What kinds of sexual problems have the greatest potential to be helped through the use of psychedelics? Does cannabis have the same therapeutic potential as psychedelics? What kinds of questions should someone think about before considering psychedelic-assisted sex therapy? Check out Jeff’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 23 Apr 2024 - 33min - 339 - Episode 285: Ethical Gangbangs – Filming A Group Sex Scene
The term “ethical gangbang” probably sounds like an oxymoron to a lot of folks. Can a gangbang really be ethical? Let’s talk about it! In today’s show, I’m speaking with a porn director whose latest film features an ethical gangbang. Some of the topics we’ll dive into include how things like consent and safety are managed when filming a group sex scene, the difference between objectification and empowerment in adult films, and how consumers can identify ethical erotic content. I am joined once again by Erika Lust, an award-winning indie erotic filmmaker who creates sex-positive adult cinema by portraying relatable characters and realistic hot sex. Over the past 20 years, Erika has directed 6 feature films and series and over 130 short films. In 2015, Erika gave her a popular TEDx talk titled ‘It’s Time for Porn to Change‘. Some of the topics we discuss include: What does the term “ethical porn” mean? What does an “ethical gangbang” look like? How are consent and boundaries maintained when shooting complex group scenes? How does a scene look or feel different when it’s empowering as opposed to when it’s objectifying? What should consumers look for if they want to support ethical porn? How are growing legal restrictions on porn shaping the industry? You can check out Erika’s films here, and use the code “SEXANDPSYCH” for a 30% discount on the site’s content. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 19 Apr 2024 - 33min - 338 - Episode 284: Sex On Screen – How Erotic Cinema Is Made
What goes on behind the scenes when porn is filmed? In today’s show, I’m going to be speaking with a director who has decades of experience creating adult films. We’re going to explore how she got into the business, her approach to making erotic cinema, and what she does to ensure the comfort and safety of performers. She is a pioneer in creating ethical and feminist porn, so we’re also going to talk about how her work has changed the landscape for adult films. My guest is Erika Lust, an award-winning indie erotic filmmaker who creates sex-positive adult cinema by portraying relatable characters and realistic hot sex. Over the past 20 years, Erika has directed 6 feature films and series and over 130 short films. In 2015, Erika gave a popular TEDx talk titled ‘It’s Time for Porn to Change‘. Some of the topics we discuss include: What do both Hollywood and porn get wrong when to comes to depicting sex on screen? How is Erika’s approach to making adult films different from what people might be used to seeing in porn? What kind of reaction has ethical and feminist porn received from the broader male-dominated porn industry? What has changed in the world of porn in the last two decades? You can check out Erika’s films here, and use the code “SEXANDPSYCH” for a 30% discount on the site’s content. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 16 Apr 2024 - 31min - 337 - Episode 283: Don’t Let Your Job Ruin Your Sex Life
Do you feel like work is getting in the way of your sex life? If so, you’re definitely not alone. Work can leave us tired or exhausted, heavily stressed, and highly distracted, which is a recipe for sexual problems. Maybe it’s time to set some boundaries? In today’s show, we’re going to talk all about the negative ways in which work can interfere with sex, why this happens, and how we can prevent it. We’re also going to talk about how to make sex a priority in your life so that you can harness the stress-relieving benefits of it. I am joined once again by Amanda Jepson, a Licensed Professional Counselor and ASSECT-Certified Sex Therapist. She is one of the co-founders of the non-profit Respark Foundation, a Clinical Therapist at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs Veterans Health and Trauma Clinic, and a lecturer for the University of Colorado-Denver. Some of the specific questions we explore in this episode include: How can work-related stress interfere with sexual desire, arousal, and function? If you have a particularly high-stress job, what can you do to get your sex life back on track? What does work-life balance really look like, and is it realistic to attain? How can engaging in sex more often help us to deal with stress? What are some ways we can prioritize sex in our lives? To learn more about the Respark Foundation, you can click here to visit their website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 12 Apr 2024 - 32min - 336 - Episode 282: Healing And Moving Beyond Sexual Trauma
Seventy percent of adults have experienced one or more traumatic events in their lifetime, with sexual trauma being among the most common forms. There’s a popular narrative in the media that trauma fundamentally changes our bodies and brains, which can give the impression that trauma never resolves. However, there is hope. On today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to heal and move beyond sexual trauma. We’ll also talk about tips for navigating relationships when one partner has a history of trauma. My guest is Amanda Jepson, a Licensed Professional Counselor and ASSECT-Certified Sex Therapist. She is one of the co-founders of the non-profit Respark Foundation, a Clinical Therapist at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs Veterans Health and Trauma Clinic, and a lecturer for the University of Colorado-Denver. Some of the specific questions we explore in this episode include: What does the term “sexual trauma” mean in a clinical context? What are some of the most common impacts of sexual trauma? How can individuals who have experienced trauma learn to reconnect with their bodies? What kinds of treatments do sex therapists use in cases of sexual trauma? How do you bring up the topic of trauma with a romantic partner? How can you be a supportive partner to someone with a history of trauma? To learn more about the Respark Foundation, you can click here to visit their website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 09 Apr 2024 - 32min - 335 - Episode 281: Tips For Navigating Non-Monogamy
Interest in non-monogamy is on the rise, with nationally representative US surveys now finding that approximately one-third of American adults say their ideal relationship would be sexually open. But if you want to give this a try, what do you need to know? In today’s show, we’ll explore the questions to ask yourself before opening up, as well as common issues that arise in multi-partner relationships and how to deal with them. My guest is Shamyra Howard, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She founded On The Green Couch, where she helps people manage sexual issues, create their best relationships, and have amazing sex. She is the resident Sex and Relationship Expert on the Peacock series Couple to Throuple. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Whether you’re currently single or in a relationship, what do you need to know before you start exploring non-monogamy? How do you set boundaries in multi-partner relationships? What can you do if jealousy pops up? If you’re practicing polyamory, how do you know when you’ve reached your saturation point? What is “new relationship energy,” and how do you prevent it from becoming an issue? What are some common red flags in poly and open relationships? Make sure to check out Shamyra’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @sexologistshamyra. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 05 Apr 2024 - 32min - 334 - Episode 280: From Couple to Throuple
Most reality dating shows follow the same formula in that they’re fundamentally about two people finding love and building a couple relationship. However, the new series Couple to Throuple offers a unique twist: viewers follow a group of queer, open-minded couples who are interested in expanding their relationships by bringing a third partner into the mix. This show has sparked a wide range of reactions among viewers, both positive and negative. So let’s talk about it! My guest is Shamyra Howard, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She founded On The Green Couch, where she helps people manage sexual issues, create their best relationships, and have amazing sex. She is the resident Sex and Relationship Expert on the Peacock series Couple to Throuple. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: In what ways is this show different from anything else that has come before? What is the role of a sex and relationship expert on a show like this? What were some of the biggest issues that came up as couples explored what it might look like to be a throuple? Does this show offer an accurate depiction of polyamory? How can a show like Couple to Throuple contribute to broader conversations about relationship diversity and polyamory? Make sure to check out Shamyra’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @sexologistshamyra. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 02 Apr 2024 - 35min - 333 - Episode 279: Living With Uncontrollable Genital Arousal
Imagine that your genitals were in a constant, uncontrollable state of arousal. You might be thinking that doesn’t sound too bad, but you’d be mistaken. Persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD) is a highly distressing condition. People who have it live with unwanted arousal that doesn’t bring pleasure, and there’s almost no relief from it. This makes it difficult, if not impossible, to concentrate, work, and sleep. In this episode, we’re going to dive into what we know about PGAD, including how common it is, what causes it, and how it’s treated. I am joined once again by Sue W. Goldstein, an AASECT certified Sexuality Educator and Clinical Research Manager at San Diego Sexual Medicine. Ms. Goldstein co-authored the book When Sex Isn’t Good to provide education and empowerment to women with sexual dysfunction. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: What does PGAD look like in everyday life? What kind of effects does this have on people? How long have we known about PGAD, and how common is it? What causes uncontrollable genital arousal? Are there any treatments that work? To learn more about women’s sexual health issues, check out Sue’s book here and visit Vella Biosciences. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 29 Mar 2024 - 24min - 332 - Episode 278: Sexual Dysfunction After Stopping Antidepressants
Antidepressants are notorious for their sexual side effects, including diminished sexual desire and difficulties with arousal and orgasm. It was long thought that these side effects were temporary; however, a growing number of people are reporting persistent sexual difficulties after discontinuing the medication, known as Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD). In today’s show, we’re going to discuss what we know about PSSD, including how common it is, what causes it, and what we can do about it. I am joined by Sue W. Goldstein, an AASECT certified Sexuality Educator and Clinical Research Manager at San Diego Sexual Medicine. Ms. Goldstein co-authored the book When Sex Isn’t Good to provide education and empowerment to women with sexual dysfunction. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: How many people experience sexual side effects from antidepressants? What are the most common symptoms of PSSD? Is PSSD a formal medical diagnosis? Why is PSSD controversial? Are there any gender differences in PSSD? Why might SSRIs can cause long-term sexual dysfunction? To learn more about women’s sexual health issues, check out Sue’s book here and visit Vella Biosciences. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Factor’s delicious, ready-to-eat meals make eating better every day easy! No matter your schedule for the week, be ready with pre-prepared, chef-crafted and dietician approved meals delivered right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/sexandpsych50 and use code sexandpsych50 to get 50% off your order. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 26 Mar 2024 - 35min - 331 - Episode 277: What People Want From Relationships Today
In the not too distant past, most people followed the same relationship model and settled down into monogamous marriages pretty early in life. Today, however, people are spending more and more of their adult lives single, fewer are opting to marry at all, and those who do are waiting much longer to tie the knot. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into the modern sexual landscape and look at what people really want from relationships, including their attitudes toward casual sex, monogamy, non-monogamy, and infidelity. I am joined once again by Tina Fetner, a professor of sociology at McMaster University. She is the author of the new book Sex in Canada: The Who, Why, When, and How of Getting Down Up North. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How much has the marriage rate changed over time? Why are adults staying single for longer periods of time? If most singles want relationships, why does everyone seem to think that they don’t want them? Why are young folks increasingly concerned with telling a partner that they want to be exclusive? How many people in relationships are practicing monogamy vs consensual non-monogamy? Make sure to check out Tina’s website to learn more and follow her on Instagram @tinafetner. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Learn to make time for what makes you happy. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH today to get 10% off your first month. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 22 Mar 2024 - 32min - 330 - Episode 276: How Much Sex Are People Having?
Some of the most common sex questions I’ve received from listeners over the years include, “Am I having enough sex?” and “Am I masturbating too much?” While people are often very interested in how their sex life stacks up, the truth of the matter is that comparing yourself to other people can lead us astray because “normal” doesn’t mean just one thing when it comes to sex. In this episode, we’re going to explore diversity and variability in sexual behavior frequency. My guest is Tina Fetner, a professor of sociology at McMaster University. She is the author of the new book Sex in Canada: The Who, Why, When, and How of Getting Down Up North. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What percentage of adults engage in masturbation? How many have never done it? How many people had sex in the last year? How often do people usually have sex? Who has more sex: people who are single or married? Why are there more adult virgins today than there used to be? Make sure to check out Tina’s website to learn more and follow her on Instagram @tinafetner. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 19 Mar 2024 - 36min - 329 - Episode 275: Masturbation Fact Versus Fiction
If you start scrolling through Instagram or TikTok, it’s only a matter of time before you’ll come across some anti-masturbation content. You’re likely to hear that masturbation is bad for your health, that it’s addictive, and that you should just say no to self-pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into what the science says about popular claims regarding the health benefits of semen retention, whether abstaining from masturbation actually boosts testosterone, whether you can really become “addicted” to masturbating, and so much more. I am joined once again by Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His latest book is titled, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How (and why) have social media influences brought the idea of semen retention to the masses? Are there actually any health benefits to abstaining from ejaculation? Is an orgasm obtained from self-pleasure really any different from an orgasm obtained through partnered sex? Can women really become “addicted” to their vibrators? Is there an objective standard for what constitutes “too much” masturbation? Make sure to check out Eric’s website to learn more and follow him on the socials @drsprankle. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Private Internet Access VPN is the world’s most transparent VPN provider. They let you stay private online by hiding your IP address and encrypting your internet connection. Head over to PIAVPN.com/SexAndPsychology and get an 83% discount! That’s just $2.03/month and you get 4 extra months completely free. Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 15 Mar 2024 - 38min - 328 - Episode 274: The Wacky History of Masturbation
Human beings have a long and complicated history with masturbation. Although it was originally pursued without care or consequence, self-pleasure eventually came to be seen as a pathway to disease and one of the gravest sins you could commit. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the wacky history of masturbation, which is a timely topic because we’re currently in the midst of a social media fueled war on self-pleasure. I am joined by Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His latest book is titled, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Where did the idea of masturbation as a sinful activity originate? What are some of the ways religious leaders have tried to discourage self-pleasure over the years? When did masturbation start to become a public health concern, and why? Why does self-pleasure continue to be a controversial topic to this day? How has the rise of social media coincided with a rise in negative views on masturbation? Make sure to check out Eric’s website to learn more and follow him on the socials @drsprankle. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 12 Mar 2024 - 41min - 327 - Episode 273: How To Have Good Casual Sex
People today are having less sex compared to generations past, but a greater proportion of the sex we’re having is casual. However, casual sex is something people have a lot of mixed experiences with, which points to a need for better education around it. So that’s what today’s show is all about. We’re going to explore how to set boundaries in casual relationships, the kinds of boundaries that are worth considering, the questions you should be asking yourself before you have casual sex, how to avoid awkwardness, and more. I am joined once again by Gabrielle Kassel. She is a sex and wellness journalist committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. Her work has appeared in publications such as Men’s Health, Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Self, Women’s Health, and more! Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What does it really mean to have “casual” sex anyway? What are the potential positive and negatives of casual sex? How do you know if casual sex is right for you? How do you establish boundaries with a partner you don’t know very well? What might a good model for communicating and maintaining sexual health look like if you’re in a casual relationship? How do you prevent drama in casual relationships? Make sure to check out Gabrielle’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 08 Mar 2024 - 36min - 326 - Episode 272: How To Pick The Sex Toy That’s Right For You
There are literally tens of thousands of different sex toys out there to choose from, so how do you pick the toy that’s right for you? In today’s show, we’re going to talk about where to start when it comes to selecting adult toys and pleasure products, what to look for in terms of optimizing your own health and pleasure, whether it’s worth splurging on luxury toys, and so much more. My guest is Gabrielle Kassel. She is a sex and wellness journalist committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. Her work has appeared in publications such as Men’s Health, Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Self, Women’s Health, and more! Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Why is lube a great starting place for exploring toys? What should people be looking for when it comes to buying a lube that’s going to work for them? What are the different materials that are used to make sex toys, and what should you be looking for? If you’re new to buying vibrators, masturbation sleeves, or anal toys, what do you need to know for picking a good one? Are luxury sex toys worth it? Make sure to check out Gabrielle’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! MailMyMeds is an online service that allows Americans to access prescription and affordable medication delivery services. They allow men experiencing ED to be reviewed for erectile dysfunction medication prescriptions. To learn more, visit mailmymeds.com Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 05 Mar 2024 - 41min - 325 - Episode 271: How To Fix Common Sex Problems
What are men’s and women’s most common sexual problems? And what can we do to address them? That’s what we’re going to be talking about on today’s show. I’m going to pick a urologist’s brain about the biggest sexual difficulties that she sees in her office and what her approach is to helping patients resolve them. Topics we’ll explore include premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, painful sex, and difficulty reaching orgasm. I am joined once again by Dr. Fenwa Milhouse, a board-certified, fellowship-trained urologist. Dr. Milhouse practices in Chicago, IL and treats a wide range of adults with sexual difficulties and sexual health concerns. She currently sits on the board of the Chicago Urological Society, and is widely known in the media as “Your Favorite Urologist.” Dr. Milhouse is the star of TLC network’s Dr. Down Below. Some of the questions we discuss include: What would be a sign that someone needs to see a urologist for a sexual difficulty as opposed to another doctor or specialist? How can men delay orgasm and increase sexual stamina? What are some ways to improve erectile function to reduce the risk of erectile difficulties developing? What are some of the most common reasons for painful sex, and what are some potential ways of addressing them? What can you do if you seem to have a hard time reaching orgasm? Make sure to check out Fenwa’s website to learn more and follow her on IG at @DrMilhouse. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Factor’s delicious, ready-to-eat meals make eating better every day easy! No matter your schedule for the week, be ready with pre-prepared, chef-crafted and dietician approved meals delivered right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/sexandpsych50 and use code sexandpsych50 to get 50% off your order. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 01 Mar 2024 - 29min - 324 - Episode 270: Penis Enlargement – What Does (And Doesn’t) Work
One of men’s biggest sexual concerns is whether their penis is big enough. In fact, nearly half of adult men report dissatisfaction with their size, almost all of whom wish they were larger. This has led a growing number of men to explore what they can do to make their penises bigger, and an entire industry has popped up hoping to capitalize on this. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the many and varied approaches to penile augmentation, including which ones are supported by the science and the potential risks and rewards. My guest is Dr. Fenwa Milhouse, a board-certified, fellowship-trained urologist. Dr. Milhouse practices in Chicago, IL and treats a wide range of adults with sexual difficulties and sexual health concerns. She currently sits on the board of the Chicago Urological Society, and is widely known in the media as “Your Favorite Urologist.” Dr. Milhouse is the star of TLC network’s Dr. Down Below. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Do any of the pills that promise to make your penis bigger actually work? Is there any benefit to penile stretching? How can penis rings and pumps help men who are worried about their size? Can dermal filler help to increase penis size? How does it work? If you’re concerned about your penis size, what do you really need to know? Make sure to check out Fenwa’s website to learn more and follow her on IG at @DrMilhouse. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 27 Feb 2024 - 30min - 323 - Episode 269: The Keys to a Pleasure-Filled Life
Most of us could benefit from having a little more pleasure in our lives, both in and out of the bedroom. However, we’re not getting that pleasure for many reasons, including the fact that we lead busy lives and just struggle to find time for it. So it’s time to change our mindset around pleasure and to start making it a priority. My guest today likes to say that you should do something that brings you pleasure everyday, so we’re going to explore how to do that. I am joined once again by award-winning sexuality educator Dr. Shemeka Thorpe. She is an assistant professor of health promotion at the University of Kentucky. Dr. Thorpe has published over 50 peer-reviewed articles and her work has been featured extensively in the media. In 2023, Buzzfeed listed her as one of the top 20 Black sexologists you should follow. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What is pleasure? What are the benefits of seeking pleasure beyond just feeling good? How can we start to shift our mindset around pleasure and start to prioritize it without feeling guilty? What are ways to be more present during moments of pleasure so that we can really enjoy them? How can we have more pleasurable sex? Make sure to check out Dr. Shemeka’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on Instagram at @DrShemeka. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 23 Feb 2024 - 31min - 322 - Episode 268: Sex-Positive Sexuality Research
A surprising amount of sexuality research isn’t very sex-positive, and this is especially true when you look at sex research on minority populations. Historically, most of it has been focused on risks, such as STIs, unintended pregnancies, or risky sexual practices. While there’s certainly value to that work, when it becomes the predominant focus, it really inhibits our understanding of diverse people and sexualities. In today’s show, we’re going to focus on Black women’s sexuality and explore what sex-positive research focused on this population can tell us. My guest is award-winning sexuality educator Dr. Shemeka Thorpe. She is an assistant professor of health promotion at the University of Kentucky. Dr. Thorpe has published over 50 peer-reviewed articles and her work has been featured extensively in the media. In 2023, Buzzfeed listed her as one of the top 20 Black sexologists you should follow. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How unbalanced is the study of sexuality when it comes to minority populations? Why is talking about race as a “risk factor” a problematic way of approaching sex research? How do Black women (and men) conceptualize pleasure? How common is sexual pain in Black women, and how do social and racialized expectations and scripts affect how pain is experienced for them? How does sexual fantasy and desire vary across racial and ethnic groups? How can we promote better, more equitable sex education and research? Make sure to check out Dr. Shemeka’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on Instagram at @DrShemeka. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 20 Feb 2024 - 34min - 321 - Episode 267: The Science of Love (Essential Listen)
With Valentine’s Day being this month, love is in the air. So let’s talk about some tips for maintaining happy and healthy loving relationships all year long! In today’s show, we’re revisiting one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens, which is my interview with Dr. Terri Orbuch from Episode 73. We’ll talk about what you need to know, whether you’ve been together for a short or long time. We’ll also explore how to know when it’s lust or love, and so much more. Dr. Terri Orbuch is a distinguished professor at Oakland University and a research scientist at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research. She is an author, speaker, and therapist known widely in the media as The Love Doctor for giving practical, science-based relationship advice. Her latest book is called “Secrets to Surviving Your Children’s Love Relationships.” Some of the topics we discuss include: How do you know whether you’re really in love with someone? What’s the difference between lust and love? Is there value in the love languages concept? How can individuals make sure their partners know they love them? When is the right time to announce a new relationship? How do we dial down the pressure and make Valentine’s Day feel like fun instead of work? Make sure to check out Terri’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate whether you’re looking for one or not. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH today to get 10% off your first month. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 16 Feb 2024 - 49min - 320 - Episode 266: The Secrets To Sexual Satisfaction
What are the keys to sexual and relationship satisfaction? It turns out that some of the most popular ideas out there about what makes for a healthy and happy intimate life just aren’t backed up by the science. So let’s explore what the data actually say when it comes to cultivating satisfying sex lives and relationships. In this show, we’ll answer questions such as whether having more sex will make you happier, whether spontaneous sex is better than planned sex, whether too much closeness inhibits desire, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Amy Muise. She is an Assistant Professor and York Research Chair at York University. She is Director of the Sexual Health and Relationship (SHaRe) Lab. She has published 121 articles and book chapters and has been awarded over $2.9 million dollars in research funding. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Is more sex necessarily better sex? How do people really feel about spontaneous sex and planned sex? Is sex that happens spontaneously actually better? What’s the link between closeness/intimacy and sexual desire? There’s this idea that women are the barometers of relationship satisfaction in heterosexual relationships (“happy wife, happy life”). Is there any truth to this? What are the costs and benefits of making sexual compromises in a relationship? Make sure to check out SHaRe’s website and Instagram to stay up-to-date on their work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 13 Feb 2024 - 40min - 319 - Episode 265: Living Single And Living Your Best Life
A growing number of people are living alone by choice—they simply prefer to live on their own. Many of them still have sex and relationships, but only on their own terms. They want freedom from the constraints of relationship labels and expectations, plus the ability to retain their autonomy and enjoy solitude when they want it. These folks are part of a growing movement and identity called “solos.” In today’s show, we’re going to explore what it means to go solo and how to live your best solo life. I am joined once again by Peter McGraw, a business school professor at the University of Colorado Boulder. He hosts the podcast Solo—The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life, he writes for Single Insights—The Science of Solos, and he hosts The Solo Salon. In 2014, Peter co-authored a book called The Humor Code. His latest book is titled Solo. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What’s the difference between being solo and being single? What are some of the different ways of being solo? Are there certain types of individuals who may be more well-suited to pursuing the solo life? How do solos engage in the process of relationship design? What does that look like? What are some of the keys to being solo and flourishing? Make sure to check out Peter’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 09 Feb 2024 - 30min - 318 - Episode 264: The Rise of Single Living
Over the last half-century, we’ve seen a dramatic change in people’s living and relationship arrangements. Specifically, more adults are living on their own, and fewer are getting married. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the rapid rise in single living around the world. We’ll take a look at the numbers and explore how attitudes towards singlehood and marriage are evolving. I am joined by Peter McGraw, a business school professor at the University of Colorado Boulder. He hosts the podcast Solo—The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life, he writes for Single Insights—The Science of Solos, and he hosts The Solo Salon. In 2014, Peter co-authored a book called The Humor Code. His latest book is titled Solo. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How have rates of marriage and single living changed in the US (and across the world) in the last 50 years? Which countries today have the most singles? What factors are propelling more people into singlehood? Why have traditional relationship models fallen out of favor? How much stigma is still attached to being single? Make sure to check out Peter’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 06 Feb 2024 - 31min - 317 - Episode 263: Let’s Talk About Sexual Fantasies
Almost everyone has sexual fantasies—and has them often. But most of us have questions about our fantasies, including what they really mean, how to share them with a partner, and how to go about turning them into reality. In this episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into the world of fantasies. Among other things, we’ll discuss what to do when you have shame or trauma connected to your fantasies, how you can use technology to facilitate open communication about fantasies, as well as what you need to know if you’re thinking about acting on your fantasies. I am joined once again by Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, former Sex Crimes Deputy District Attorney for the Los Angeles County D.A.’s Office, and author of The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: What is the difference between a sexual fantasy and a sexual desire? Do fantasies need to be elaborate or “fantastical” in order to count as fantasies? How can we get rid of the shame we may have surrounding our fantasies? What are some ways we can make sure our sexual needs and desires are prioritized? How can a newbie who is interested in threesomes or kink start exploring these fantasies? Make sure to check out Rena’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Flure Dating App: Explore & Own Your Desires – https://flure.com The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 02 Feb 2024 - 35min - 316 - Episode 262: How To Get The Sex Life You Want
There’s the sex life you have, and then there’s the sex life you want. So how do you actually get the one that you want? This is something a lot of people struggle with, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to explore tips for changing the relationship we have with ourselves, tips for changing the relationships we have with other people, as well as ways of simply making sex more fun. My guest is Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, former Sex Crimes Deputy District Attorney for the Los Angeles County D.A.’s Office, and author of The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love. Some of the topics we explore include: What is the “27 things” exercise, and how can it help you to get clarity on what you want from your intimate life? How can we better manage body image issues that are hindering desire for and enjoyment of sex? How can we avoid hopping on the “relationship escalator” with a partner who might not be meeting our needs? What are some ways to make planned sex good sex? How can we bring the fun back into sex? Make sure to check out Rena’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 30 Jan 2024 - 33min - 315 - Episode 261: Breaking Negative Cycles In Relationships
A negative cycle starts when one partner in a relationship feels hurt and then says something critical. Then, the other partner feels hurt and responds in kind. This repeats over and over, and the hurt feelings escalate. In the last episode, we talked about why these cycles happen and how to identify them in your relationship. In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how to break the negative cycle, including things you should and shouldn’t say in these situations. I am joined once again by Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling Clinic, and Secure Relationship Coaching. Her latest book is titled Secure Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why is telling your partner to “calm down” a bad idea in a negative cycle? Although being vulnerable during a fight might sound scary, how can this be helpful in resolving it? What is co-regulation, and how can understanding this concept help to combat negative cycles? How can you avoid the traps that lead us into negative cycles in the first place? How do you repair a relationship after a negative cycle? Make sure to check out Julie’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. A happier relationship starts here! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 26 Jan 2024 - 31min - 314 - Episode 260: Why Couples Have The Same Fight Over And Over
In long-term relationships, partners often find that they’re having the same fights over and over again. The fights are often triggered by something seemingly small, but then they have this way of escalating and turning into bigger conflicts that are wildly unproductive. This relationship pattern is known as a negative cycle. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into why negative cycles happen, how we create these patterns, and how you can start to recognize them. In the next episode, we’ll talk about how to break negative cycles. My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling Clinic, and Secure Relationship Coaching. Her latest book is titled Secure Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is it that triggers negative cycles in relationships? What do negative cycles look like or feel like as they’re happening? Which attachment style pairings are most likely to lead to negative cycles? How can you tell the difference between negative cycles and abuse? Make sure to check out Julie’s website to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 23 Jan 2024 - 32min - 313 - Episode 259: How To Change Your Relationship
A lot of people want to bring change into their love life, but they feel stuck. They’re ready and eager for change, but they don’t know how to do it or how to get their partner on board. In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss practical tips for changing your relationship. We’re also going to talk about how to drop the societal imperatives that tell us what we should be doing and, instead, learn how to chart your own course. I am joined once again by award-winning author Emily Nagoski. She wrote the New York Times bestselling books Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook. Her latest book is titled Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: If you’re ready for a change but your partner isn’t, how do you navigate that? How can partners work together to create and maintain a sexual connection that lasts? What are some new ways of exploring erotic pleasures with a partner? What is the “magic trick” for accessing ecstasy, and how can we apply it to our sex lives? Make sure to check out Emily’s website to find out more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 19 Jan 2024 - 29min - 312 - Episode 258: Creating a Sexual Connection that Lasts
When a relationship is new, the sex usually comes pretty easy. However, as the years go by, partners often find that their sexual connection declines. This doesn’t have to happen, though. There are science-backed ways of creating and maintaining a sexual connection that lasts. In this episode, we’re going to explore the three characteristics of relationships that sustain intimacy, how to cultivate lust in long-term relationships, and much more. I am joined by award-winning author Emily Nagoski. She wrote the New York Times bestselling books Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook. Her latest book is titled Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What do people actually want from sex, and why is that important to think about? Why is sexual novelty alone not quite enough to cultivate a strong connection? How is pleasure different from desire? How can creating an “emotional floorplan” make it easier for people to get into a lustful headspace? Make sure to check out Emily’s website to find out more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Celebrate the progress you’ve already made with BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH today to get 10% off your first month. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 16 Jan 2024 - 39min - 311 - Episode 257: How To Make a Sex Plan for the New Year (Essential Listen)
New year, new sex life. The transition between years is always a good time to stop and reflect, and that includes thinking about your intimate life. How are things going? Are you getting what you want? Does it feel like something is missing? Depending on how you answered these questions, it might be time for a sex plan. We identify our goals and plan a lot of things in our lives, but we often don’t approach sex with that same intentionality. For today’s show, we’re revisiting one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens, which is my interview with Dr. Juliana Hauser from episode 155. Let’s make a sex plan! Juliana Hauser is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include: What are some practical things you can do to develop a greater sense of sexual empowerment? How can resolutions to boost physical and mental health enhance sexual performance and satisfaction? How can you introduce more novelty into your sex life? What resolutions can help someone be more present during sex? What is a sex plan, and how can making one benefit you and your relationship(s)? To learn more about Juliana, visit dr-juliana.com and follow @drjulianahauser on IG. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 12 Jan 2024 - 28min - 310 - Episode 256: The Problem With The 5 Love Languages
“The Five Love Languages” is a wildly popular, bestselling book that came out just over 30 years ago. Since its arrival, the love languages have become a massive cultural phenomenon. However, despite enormous popularity, there’s a surprising lack of scientific backing for the concept. In fact, research suggests that the key principles and ideas behind the love languages just don’t hold up. So is this still a useful framework for understanding love? Let’s talk about it. My guests today are Drs. Amy Muise and Emily Impett. Dr. Muise is an assistant professor and York Research Chair at York University. She is director of the Sexual Health and Relationship (SHaRe) Lab. Dr. Impett is a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto and director of the Relationships and Well-Being lab. Amy and Emily have been close collaborators for nearly 14 years and they have published over 60 papers together on sexuality and relationships! Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What are the five love languages? What’s the problem with claiming that there are only five languages to communicate love? Is there any evidence supporting the idea that people who speak their partner’s love language are happier in relationships? Are there more scientifically sound ways of understanding love than the love languages? Is it okay to still like the love languages idea even if the data don’t support it? Make sure to check out the Instagram pages for Amy and Emily’s labs, @share.research and @utmrawlab. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. It’s a new year, and I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 09 Jan 2024 - 32min - 309 - Episode 255: Common Myths About Male Sexuality
One of the most popular tropes that you’re bound to encounter in writings about human sexuality is that men are simple, while women are complex. There’s a pervasive belief out there that sex is just easy for men in general because they’re always in the mood and sex is mostly a physical (not emotional) thing for them. The reality of male sexuality, however, is far more complicated, and we’re not doing anyone any favors by oversimplifying it. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into common myths about male sexuality. I am joined once again by Cam Fraser, who is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame. Some of the topics we explore include: Why is the idea of male sexuality as “simple” a myth? How do beauty standards affect men, and what are the implications of this for sex, dating, and relationships? What do men who are anxious about their penis size need to know? Are men always supposed to be turned on and ready for sex? To what degree is sex emotional vs. physical for men? You can visit Cam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 05 Jan 2024 - 30min - 308 - Episode 254: What We Get Wrong About Men’s Bodies
A lot of men feel insecure about their bodies and sexual performance despite the fact that they fall clearly within the normal range. It’s easy for them to feel like there’s something wrong when they’ve never really been taught what “normal” even means. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss common things people get wrong about men’s bodies and how penises function, as well as things that men and their partners should know when it comes to sexual pleasure. I am joined by Cam Fraser, who is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame. Some of the topics we explore include: Is an erection always a sign of sexual arousal and interest? Are orgasm and ejaculation one and the same, or are they different things? Can men experience multiple orgasms? What do men need to know about sex toys and prostate stimulation? What does it really mean to have premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction? You can visit Cam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. It’s a new year, and I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 02 Jan 2024 - 35min - 307 - Episode 253: Resolutions For Better Sex In 2024 (Essential Listen)
Every time a new year rolls around, people start making resolutions for self-improvement. As you start to think about your own resolutions, consider resolving to have better sex. With the right set of resolutions, you can address problem areas in the bedroom, rekindle the spark, and start to enjoy the best sex of your life! For today’s show, we’re going to revisit one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens, my interview with Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, which appeared back in episode 67. Dr. Jess is a Toronto-based sexologist, author, speaker, and television personality. She is host of the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast and is the resident sexologist at Astroglide. In our original conversation, Jess and I spoke about how to keep the sexual spark alive all year long. Some of the topics we discuss include: How can you get more comfortable being vocal in bed? How can you suggest trying something new with your partner? Why is it important to expand your definition of sex? How can you incorporate more touch into daily life? What should you think about resolving to do (or not do) in your sex life in the new year? To learn more, check out Jess’s website and follow her on Instagram at @sexwithdrjess. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2351-lehmiller Ever questioned, wondered, or fantasized about trying something different? Feeld is the place where you freely explore your desires. For a limited time, receive a free month of Majestic Membership when you download the app as a new member. Download the Feeld app at feeld.co/justin to access your free month of Majestic Membership. Please allow up to 24 hours for your free Majestic trial to activate. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 29 Dec 2023 - 39min - 306 - Episode 252: OnlyFans and the Rise of Digital Sex Work
Digital sex work is booming. Over the last two decades, sex work has increasingly moved online and it has become a multi-billion dollar industry. The transition to online sex work is changing a lot of things about how sex work works, so let’s talk about it. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore how digital sex work is changing the kinds of services that are bought and sold, how workers create authentic interactions with clients online, how technology is changing the stigma around sex work, and more. I am joined once again by Kurt Fowler, an Assistant Professor of Criminal Justice at Penn State Abington and the author of The Rise of Digital Sex Work. Drawing on in-depth interviews with dozens of sex workers from around the world, this book explores how technology has changed the nature of modern sex work. Some of the topics we explore include: What kind of things do sex workers need to consider when deciding where and how to sell their services online? How does digital sex work allow for more creativity and flexibility in the kinds of services offered? How do online sex workers craft authentic personas and interactions with clients? How has the internet helped sex workers form a sense of community and social support? How is the stigma around sex work changing in the Information Age? You can learn more about Kurt’s book here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 22 Dec 2023 - 32min - 305 - Episode 251: What It’s Like To Be A Sex Worker
What is it like to be a sex worker? It depends who you ask, with different studies pointing to drastically different conclusions. The truth is that you can’t paint sex workers in overly broad strokes. “Sex work” can mean a lot of different things, and working conditions and local laws vary, which means that different workers are bound to have different experiences. In today’s episode, we’re going to take an inside look into the world of sex work. I am joined by Kurt Fowler, an Assistant Professor of Criminal Justice at Penn State Abington and the author of The Rise of Digital Sex Work. Drawing on in-depth interviews with dozens of sex workers from around the world, this book explores how technology has changed the nature of modern sex work. Some of the topics we explore include: What all is included under the term “sex work?” Two major paradigms dominate research on sex work: the oppression paradigm and the empowerment paradigm. What’s the difference between these views? What are some of the common motivations for entering sex work? How do digital sex workers mitigate some of the unique risks that come along with working in online spaces? How is the experience of sex work different for people of different racial backgrounds? You can learn more about Kurt’s book here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 19 Dec 2023 - 35min - 304 - Episode 250: How to Have “The Talk” With Your Kids
In some ways, teens today seem to be more sexually cautious. They’re waiting longer to have sex and they’re having fewer partners. At the same time, however, they’re also engaging in riskier sexual practices, with condom use declining and rough sex increasing. Sex education is as vital as ever, and it needs to reflect the sexual realities of today’s youth. So in this episode, we’re going to dive into what parents need to know when it comes to talking to their kids about sex. I am joined once again by Dr. Debby Herbenick, an award-winning, internationally recognized sexuality researcher and AASECT-certified sexuality educator. She is a professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and the author of five bestselling books about human sexuality. Her latest book is titled, Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: When is the “right” time to start discussing sex with your kids? What are some of the key topics parents should be covering? What can parents teach their kids about having healthy relationships? When and how should parents talk to their kids about porn? How is having “the talk” different if your kid is on the spectrum? You can visit Debby’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2350-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 15 Dec 2023 - 28min - 303 - Episode 249: What Today’s Parents Need To Know About Teens And Sex
The sexual landscape for teens has shifted dramatically over the last two decades. Among the more notable changes we’ve seen are that rough sex is on the rise, and teens are increasingly exploring their sexuality online through sexting. In today’s show, we’re going to explore this evolving landscape and talk about what parents need to know, including how to become an “askable” parent, how to navigate uncomfortable questions, and what to do when you don’t have the answers. I am joined by Dr. Debby Herbenick, an award-winning, internationally recognized sexuality researcher and AASECT-certified sexuality educator. She is a professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and the author of five bestselling books about human sexuality. Her latest book is titled, Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: How is the sexual landscape different for today’s teens? What are some practical things a parent can do so that their kids feel comfortable coming to them with sex questions? How can parents approach questions about sex without shame and judgement? What should you do if your kid asks something that feels too personal? What are some practical ways that parents can explain consent to their kids? You can visit Debby’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 12 Dec 2023 - 30min - 302 - Episode 248: Maintaining Sexual Privacy in the Information Age
In the Information Age, keeping our private lives private is becoming harder and harder to do. For example, our online searches and chats are leaving digital traces, while our phones (and even our cars) are collecting information on where we go. All of this data is vulnerable, and there’s growing concern about the risk of our most sensitive personal information being exploited. In today’s episode, we’re going to focus on ways we can mitigate the risks of data surveillance and keep our personal information more secure. I am joined once again by Albert Fox Cahn. He is founder and executive director of the Surveillance Technology Oversight Project (also known as STOP). He is also a Practitioner-in-Residence at N.Y.U Law School’s Information Law Institute and a fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School’s Carr Center For Human Rights Policy and Yale Law School’s Information Society Project. As a lawyer, technologist, and activist, Albert has become a leading voice on how to govern and build the technologies of the future. Some of the topics we explore include: What are some practical ways individuals can keep their online data more secure? How safe (or unsafe) is it to use apps that track our health data, sexually and otherwise? For individuals traveling out of state to access legally available care that might not be available in their home state, are there any steps they can take to mitigate data surveillance? What steps can providers take to protect patients and clients when it comes to data that might be subject to government surveillance? What responsibility do tech companies have to offer more protection over consumer data? You can connect with Albert online on Twitter and Bluesky. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2349-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 08 Dec 2023 - 34min - 301 - Episode 247: Reproductive Surveillance in the Post-Roe World
In 2022, the United States Supreme Court reversed a half-century old ruling that had legalized abortion in this country. Since then, reproductive healthcare has become more difficult to access in certain areas, prompting concern about technology being leveraged as a form of abortion surveillance and tracking. Text messages, Google searches, emails, and period-tracking apps all have the potential to be used against people seeking abortions. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how online surveillance of abortion is increasing and the effects this is having, as well as the broader risks of living in a time when there’s unparalleled surveillance of our private lives. My guest is Albert Fox Cahn. He is founder and executive director of the Surveillance Technology Oversight Project (also known as STOP). He is also a Practitioner-in-Residence at N.Y.U Law School’s Information Law Institute and a fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School’s Carr Center For Human Rights Policy and Yale Law School’s Information Society Project. As a lawyer, technologist, and activist, Albert has become a leading voice on how to govern and build the technologies of the future. Some of the topics we explore include: How has the landscape for abortion care in the United States shifted since Roe v Wade was overturned? In what ways is abortion care subject to surveillance? Are new surveillance practices having an effect on pregnant women’s decision making and feelings of agency? What are the implications of surveillance for accessing gender-affirming care? Can you be tracked when you travel to another state to access healthcare? You can connect with Albert online on Twitter and Bluesky. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Ever questioned, wondered, or fantasized about trying something different? Feeld is the place where you freely explore your desires. For a limited time, receive a free month of Majestic Membership when you download the app as a new member. Download the Feeld app at feeld.co/justin to access your free month of Majestic Membership. Please allow up to 24 hours for your free Majestic trial to activate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 05 Dec 2023 - 33min - 300 - Episode 246: The Disappearance of Shere Hite
In the previous episode, we explored the life and times of Shere Hite, who published what is perhaps the bestselling non-fiction book about sex ever to hit the market. Despite selling 50 million copies, it has been largely forgotten in the half-century since its release. However, it’s back in the spotlight again with the release of the new documentary The Disappearance of Shere Hite. In today’s show, I’m going to continue my conversation with the director of this film to dive into the story behind it. We’re also going to talk about why Shere’s work is more relevant than ever. I am joined once again by Nicole Newnham, the Oscar-nominated, Emmy-winning documentary producer and director behind The Disappearance of Shere Hite. This film premiered at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival is now playing in select theaters. Nicole also co-directed and produced the 2021 Academy Award-nominated documentary Crip Camp. In this episode, we discuss: What compelled the making of a documentary about Shere’s work? Why did this extraordinary woman and her work seemingly disappear? How did the media try to craft “gotcha” moments to discredit Shere? What are some lessons from the film, and Shere’s story, that are important in modern times? Visit sherehitedoc.com to find out where The Disappearance of Shere Hite is playing near you. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2348-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 01 Dec 2023 - 28min - 299 - Episode 245: The Pioneering Female Sex Researcher That Time Forgot
There are a lot of hidden figures in the history of sex research who made important contributions to the field, but who are frequently forgotten. One of them is Shere Hite, who authored the best-selling non-fiction book on women’s sexuality titled The Hite Report in 1976. This book sold 50 million copies, a figure that puts it among the 30 bestselling books of all times! However, there’s a good chance you’ve never heard about this book or the author behind it. Enter The Disappearance of Shere Hite, a new documentary about the life and times of an extraordinary woman who dared to study women’s sexuality and whose work remains as radical and revolutionary as ever. My guest today is Nicole Newnham, the Oscar-nominated, Emmy-winning documentary producer and director behind The Disappearance of Shere Hite. This film premiered at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival is now playing in select theaters. Nicole also co-directed and produced the 2021 Academy Award-nominated documentary Crip Camp. In this episode, we discuss: Who was Shere Hite and what was she most well-known for? What is The Hite Report about and how did Shere go about collecting her data? What are the major findings of The Hite Report? How (and why) did people try to discredit The Hite Report? After two decades in the media spotlight, why did Shere disappear? Visit sherehitedoc.com to find out where The Disappearance of Shere Hite is playing near you. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Handy is a Scandinavian pleasure device like no other: it’s an adult toy for anyone with a penis that enables new sexual experiences through interactive technology. The Handy can be synched with online content from multiple adult websites to offer immersive experiences. Visit thehandy.com and get 10% off your purchase with discount code sexandpsych. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 28 Nov 2023 - 30min - 298 - Episode 244: The Future of Sex Toys
What does the future hold when it comes to sex toys? Artificial intelligence, virtual reality, and robotics are just a few of the many emerging technologies that are likely to become an increasingly big part of the way that we experience pleasure. In this episode, we’re going to explore the high-tech pleasure products of the future. I am joined one again by Sarah Tomchesson, who works as a sex educator, sex toy evangelist and podcast host. Sarah is Lovehoney’s Resident Sexual Wellness Advisor and hosts free monthly workshops through Lovehoney.com. Sarah’s podcast, F*ck Yeah, disrupts traditional ideas about sexuality and relationships, and her online education program, Pleasure Practices, supports cultivating personal power through pleasure exploration. Some of the topics we discuss include: How do app-connected sex toys open up new opportunities for pleasure? How might AI revolutionize sex toys? How does virtual reality have the potential to completely change the way we interact with and experience sex toys? How can technology make sex toys more accessible? How can sex toys help us to monitor our sexual health? For more to listen to, you can check out Sarah’s podcast here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Earth and Salt offers a curated selection of sex toys, accessories, and gender expression gear to help you access your pleasure, your way. Visit Earth and Salt at earthandsaltshop.com, and use “Lehmiller” as the discount code for 15% off your next purchase. Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2347-lehmiller Ever questioned, wondered, or fantasized about trying something different? Feeld is the place where you freely explore your desires. For a limited time, receive a free month of Majestic Membership when you download the app as a new member. Download the Feeld app at feeld.co/justin to access your free month of Majestic Membership. Please allow up to 24 hours for your free Majestic trial to activate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 24 Nov 2023 - 31min - 297 - Episode 243: 5 Ways Sex Toys Can Revolutionize Your Sex Life
If you’re looking to take your sex life to the next level, something you might want to think about it is trying more sex toys! Sex toys have the potential to make sex, both solo and partnered, even better. And if you’ve never used sex toys before, we have you covered. The sheer number of options out there can be overwhelming, so we’ll discuss some good places to start if you’ve new to the idea of bringing toys into the bedroom. I am joined by Sarah Tomchesson, who works as a sex educator, sex toy evangelist and podcast host. Sarah is Lovehoney’s Resident Sexual Wellness Advisor and hosts free monthly workshops through Lovehoney.com. Sarah’s podcast, F*ck Yeah, disrupts traditional ideas about sexuality and relationships, and her online education program, Pleasure Practices, supports cultivating personal power through pleasure exploration. In this episode, we discuss how sex toys can assist in: Understanding yourself as a sexual person and uncovering new pleasure sources Increasing/improving sexual communication Providing stress relief Building up sexual self-confidence Closing the orgasm gap For more to listen to, you can check out Sarah’s podcast here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Handy is a Scandinavian pleasure device like no other: it’s an adult toy for anyone with a penis that enables new sexual experiences through interactive technology. The Handy can be synched with online content from multiple adult websites to offer immersive experiences. Visit thehandy.com and get 10% off your purchase with discount code sexandpsych. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 21 Nov 2023 - 32min - 296 - Episode 242: How To Have The Hottest Sex Ever
How can I have better, hotter sex? This is a super common question people have about their intimate lives, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. In this episode, we’re going to walk you through what you need to know about taking your sex life to the next level. I am joined once again by both Amy Baldwin and April Lampert. Amy is a sex and relationship coach, as well as a certified sex educator. April is Vice President and co-owner of Hot Octopuss, an innovative pleasure product company. Together, Amy and April combined forces to create the Shameless Sex Podcast, and the brand new book Shameless Sex: Choose Your Own Pleasure Path to Unlock the Sex Life You’ve Been Waiting For. Some of the topics we explore include: How can you figure out what it is that you really want from sex? How can you use your sexual fantasies as a source of inspiration? How can changing your sexual mindset open the door to greater pleasure? How can you make sex great again when the old ways stop working? What are some healthy ways to introduce new things in the bedroom? How can couples “keep the fire burning” in the bedroom for the long run? You can learn more about Amy and April on the Shameless Sex website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! Earth and Salt offers a curated selection of sex toys, accessories, and gender expression gear to help you access your pleasure, your way. Visit Earth and Salt at earthandsaltshop.com, and use “Lehmiller” as the discount code for 15% off your next purchase. Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2346-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 17 Nov 2023 - 31min - 295 - Episode 241: How To Have Shameless Sex
This week on the show, I have a special treat for you: I’m speaking with the co-hosts of the Shameless Sex Podcast, which is one of the most-listened to sexuality podcasts in the world! They have just released a book that captures all of the wisdom they’ve accumulated on their podcast over the years. So we’re going to do a deep dive into it and teach you how to have shameless sex! My guests are Amy Baldwin and April Lampert. Amy is a sex and relationship coach, as well as a certified sex educator. April is Vice President and co-owner of Hot Octopuss, an innovative pleasure product company. Together, Amy and April combined forces to create the Shameless Sex Podcast, and the brand new book Shameless Sex: Choose Your Own Pleasure Path to Unlock the Sex Life You’ve Been Waiting For. Some of the topics we explore include: What does it mean to have “shameless sex”? Who is this book for, and what can readers hope to get out of it? If you’ve ever asked yourself “am I normal?” or “am I broken?” what do you need to know? What can you do when you and your partner feel like you’ve fallen out of synch in the bedroom? How can you communicate about sex with your partner in a healthy way? Learn more about Amy and April on the Shameless Sex website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology *** Thank you to our sponsors! The Handy is a Scandinavian pleasure device like no other: it’s an adult toy for anyone with a penis that enables new sexual experiences through interactive technology. The Handy can be synched with online content from multiple adult websites to offer immersive experiences. Visit thehandy.com and get 10% off your purchase with discount code sexandpsych. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. Ever questioned, wondered, or fantasized about trying something different? Feeld is the place where you freely explore your desires. For a limited time, receive a free month of Majestic Membership when you download the app as a new member. Download the Feeld app at feeld.co/justin to access your free month of Majestic Membership. Please allow up to 24 hours for your free Majestic trial to activate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 14 Nov 2023 - 43min - 294 - Episode 240: The Truth About Masturbation (Essential Listen)
It’s November again, which means that the annual abstinence challenge known as “No Nut November” is back in full force. This challenge originated on Reddit several years back and it seems to spread and bring in new participants each year. The basic idea is that you’re not allow to masturbate or otherwise orgasm for the entire month, and it seems to be rooted in the idea that self-pleasure is inherently bad for you. But is that really the case? In today’s show, we’re going to revisit one of Sex and Psychology’s “Essential Listens,” my interview with Dr. Eric Sprankle back in episode 96. Eric is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His first book comes out next year and is titled DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation. In our original conversation, Eric and I talked all about the history of masturbation and some of the myths surrounding masturbation today. Some of the topics we discussed include: What makes masturbation in humans unique compared to other species that do it? What kinds of masturbation “cures” were used in the past to discourage this behavior? What do we think about when we engage in self-pleasure? Does abstinence actually boost testosterone levels? How can we have a healthier relationship with porn and masturbation? To learn more, check out Eric’s website and check out my other conversation with Eric about navigating sexuality and religion in Episode 98. Thank you to our sponsors! Earth and Salt offers a curated selection of sex toys, accessories, and gender expression gear to help you access your pleasure, your way. Visit Earth and Salt at earthandsaltshop.com, and use “Lehmiller” as the discount code for 15% off your next purchase. Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2345-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 10 Nov 2023 - 40min - 293 - Episode 239: Kinky In The Digital Age
Ever since people started having sex, they had kinky sex. While kink itself is not new, kink practices have certainly changed over time, as have people’s opportunities to explore and experiment with kink. This is especially true in the modern digital era. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how technology has opened up new ways for people to explore their kinks, whether technology itself is making us kinkier, and where kinky interests come from in the first place. I am joined once again by Liam Wignall, a Senior Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Brighton. He specialises in research on kink/BDSM, looking at the impact of internet and community engagement on identity formation. His book, Kinky in the Digital Age, explores how kinky gay and bisexual men navigate kink in contemporary times with an in-depth analysis of the pup play subculture. Some of the topics we explore include: How is kink defined? How far can we trace back the kinky history of the queer community? How has the mainstreaming of kink (i.e., the Fifty Shades phenomenon) changed the research on kinky sex? Why at a time when heterosexuals are more openly embracing kink do we see a lot of LGBTQ+ people trying to hide it? Why has kink suddenly become controversial at LGBTQ+ pride events? Is technology making us kinkier? You can check out our article on Liam’s recent publication here, and connect with him on Twitter/X here. You can also get 30% of Liam’s book Kinky in the Digital Age through Oxford University Press with discount code: ASPROMP8 Thank you to our sponsors! The Handy is a Scandinavian pleasure device like no other: it’s an adult toy for anyone with a penis that enables new sexual experiences through interactive technology. The Handy can be synched with online content from multiple adult websites to offer immersive experiences, meaning that what you see is what you feel. To learn more visit thehandy.com and get 10% off your purchase with discount code sexandpsych. Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Watch for presentations and papers from Kinsey Institute faculty and students at this month’s meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, which will be held in New Orleans. Learn more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 07 Nov 2023 - 32min - 292 - Episode 238: Are Neurodiverse People More Likely To Be Kinky?
Some folks who frequent kink and BDSM spaces have observed that there seems to be a higher percentage of neurodiverse persons compared to other social settings. So is there actually a link between neurodiversity and kink? In today’s show, we’re going to dive into a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research that looks at how neurodiversity, specifically in the form of autistic traits, is linked to engaging in the kink subculture of pup play. I am joined by Liam Wignall, a Senior Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Brighton. He specialises in research on kink/BDSM, looking at the impact of internet and community engagement on identity formation. His recent book, Kinky in the Digital Age, explores how kinky gay and bisexual men navigate kink in contemporary times. Some of the topics we explore include: What does it mean to be neurodivergent? How prevalent is neurodivergence in the general population? What does pup play look like and why are some people into it? Why might there be a link between autism and kink in general? What specifically about pup play might be appealing to neurodivergent individuals? Why is there so little research on neurodiversity and sexuality? You can check out our article on Liam’s recent publication here, and connect with him on Twitter/X here. You can also get 30% of Liam’s book Kinky in the Digital Age through Oxford University Press with discount code: ASPROMP8 Thank you to our sponsors! Earth and Salt offers a curated selection of sex toys, accessories, and gender expression gear to help you access your pleasure, your way. Visit Earth and Salt at earthandsaltshop.com, and use “Lehmiller” as the discount code for 15% off your next purchase. Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2344-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 03 Nov 2023 - 31min - 291 - Episode 237: How Women Feel About Anal Sex
There’s a lot of research out there on the subject of anal sex; however, surprisingly little of it has focused on how women feel about this activity. Fortunately, a large nationally representative study of women’s experiences with anal touch recently came out that sheds important light on the subject. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the results and discuss how many women have explored anal stimulation, their preferred forms of anal touch, tips for experiencing more anal pleasure, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Devon Hensel, an Associate Professor of Research at Indiana University School of Medicine, who has led several national and international sexual health studies. Devon has expertise in sexuality across the life span, sexual pleasure, romantic/sexual relationships and solo and partnered sexual behavior. Some of the topics we explore include: How many women have engaged in some form of anal stimulation? Why is it important to explore different forms of anal touch beyond penile-anal penetration? What are anal surfacing, anal shallowing, and anal pairing? Which forms of anal touch do women find to be most pleasurable? What are some of the dos and don’ts of anal sex when it comes to pleasure and safety? You can learn more about Devon here and read her full study on anal touch here. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 31 Oct 2023 - 30min - 290 - Episode 236: The Science of Squirting
Some women experience a large expulsion of fluid during sexual arousal or orgasm, often referred to as squirting. Although this is by no means a new discovery, the nature of the fluid, what it’s called, and where it originates in the body have been subject to much debate. So let’s talk about it! In today’s show, we’re going to explore the science of squirting by looking at results from a nationally representative survey on the subject. We’re going to discuss how squirting is different from female ejaculation, what we know about how and why it happens, how common it is, the surprising diversity in squirting experiences, and more. I am joined by Dr. Devon Hensel, an Associate Professor of Research at Indiana University School of Medicine, who has led several national and international sexual health studies. Devon has expertise in sexuality across the life span, sexual pleasure, romantic/sexual relationships and solo and partnered sexual behavior. Some of the topics we explore include: How is “vaginal squirting” defined? Where does the fluid involved in vaginal squirting come from? How prevalent is squirting? How many women have experienced it before? What are some of the various ways that a woman might experience squirting? Is squirting something that every woman is potentially capable of? You can learn more about Devon here and read her full study on squirting here. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2343-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 27 Oct 2023 - 30min - 289 - Episode 235: The Surprising Politics of Polyamory
Polyamorists tend to be stereotyped and portrayed in the popular media as pretty liberal bunch. However, it turns out that they’re actually quite diverse in their political views. This isn’t surprising when you start to trace the history of the modern polyamory movement in America, because what we see is that it actually has strong libertarian roots. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the fascinating (and surprising) intersection between polyamory and politics, including how libertarian science fiction writers in the 1960s helped turbocharge interest in polyamory. I am joined once again by Christopher Gleason, who lectures at Kennesaw State University and is the Director of Academic Programs at the Georgia Coalition for Higher Education in Prisons. He lives in Atlanta and his latest book is titled American Poly: A History. Some of the topics we explore include: Who was Robert Heinlein, and what impact did his sci-fi book Stranger in a Strange Land have on American polyamory? Ayn Rand is an author known for shaping right-wing thought, but her work was influential to polyamorists during the sexual revolution. What’s the story there? How did a return to sexual conservatism in the 1980s lead to an organized polyamory movement? Why is there a heated debate in the poly community about whether polyamory is about sex versus connection and spirituality? Are individuals on the political left more likely to embrace polyamory as an identity than those with other political views? To stay connected, you can find Christopher on Instagram @christophermgleason Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 24 Oct 2023 - 30min - 288 - Episode 234: The Evolution of Polyamory in America
Believe it or not, the term “polyamory” has only been around for a little over 30 years. However, while the name itself is still relatively new, the practice of it definitely isn’t. Although people were living polyamorous lives long before we ever had this name for it, the way people practice it has morphed and changed over time. So let’s dive into the long and fascinating history and evolution of polyamory in the United States. My guest today is Christopher Gleason, who lectures at Kennesaw State University and is the Director of Academic Programs at the Georgia Coalition for Higher Education in Prisons. He lives in Atlanta and his latest book is titled American Poly: A History. Some of the topics we explore include: When did the term polyamory first enter the mainstream, and what were people calling it before that? Who were the first people practicing something that looks like what we might call polyamory today? How did countercultural religious movements in the 1960s and 70s shape the practice of ethical non-monogamy? How did the advent of the internet impact the polyamory movement? How have portrayals of polyamory evolved in the media, and how does this shape people’s views and attitudes towards it? To stay connected, you can find Christopher on Instagram @christophermgleason Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2342-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 20 Oct 2023 - 29min - 287 - Episode 233: Your Brain On Sex (Essential Listen)
As I look back on all of the amazing guests and conversations we’ve had on this show, I’ve begun to curate a list of ”essential listens.” These are the shows that are often a sexual revelation because they get people to think about or understand their own sexuality in a new way. One of these essential listens is my “sex on the brain” interview with award-winning author Emily Nagoski from episode 48. Emily wrote the bestselling books Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook. She is also coauthor of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Emily’s new book, Come Together, is currently available for preorder. In our original conversation, we explored the brain mechanisms that underlie sexual response in a way that can help people to better understand their own sexuality—and why it might be really different from that of their partner. Some of the topics we discussed include: What is the Dual Control Model of Sexual Response and why is it crucial to understanding our own sexuality? Why do many people (but especially women) sometimes experience a disconnect between genital arousal and psychological arousal? What’s the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire? How can a better understanding of how our brains work unlock sexual pleasure? To learn more, listen to our full conversation in episode 48 and check out Emily’s website. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 17 Oct 2023 - 30min - 286 - Episode 232: What To Do When Your Partner Is Kinkier Than You
I’ve received countless emails from people who have discovered that their partner has a kink they didn’t previously know about—and, now, they’re not sure what to do because they’re not into it. So what do you do when you’re a vanilla person and it turns out that your partner has a kinky streak? The fact that you both want different things from sex doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship, so let’s talk about how to make it work. I am joined once again by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani is also a Certified Sex Therapist and organizer of the upcoming Securing Sexuality conference. Her latest book is titled With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect. Some of the topics we explore include: For people who are worried that they’re “too vanilla,” what do they need to know? How can people better navigate the strong feelings they might have when discovering a partner’s kink? When partners have different fantasies and desires, how do you find common ground? How can opening up a relationship help partners bridge a sexual desire discrepancy? Is it always possible to make things work when partners want very different things from sex? To learn more, check out Sefani’s website. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2341-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 13 Oct 2023 - 36min - 285 - Episode 231: Safe Sex in the Digital Age
From the rise of online dating, to internet porn, to sexting and cybersex, our intimate lives are increasingly digital. Although it’s undoubtedly great that we have these new ways to connect and explore our sexuality, we now need to content with a host of novel challenges, especially around issues of privacy and safety. Any time we explore our sexuality online, we’re leaving a digital trace. So who has access to this information? How do we keep it secure? Today, we’re going to talk about how to leverage technology to enhance our intimate lives while also staying safe. I am joined by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani is also a Certified Sex Therapist and organizer of the upcoming Securing Sexuality conference. Her latest book is titled With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect. Some of the topics we explore include: Why is cybersecurity such an important topic to discuss in relation to online sexuality? What are some ways that technology can give our sexual and intimate lives a boost? What can we be doing better to ensure our privacy and security in digital spaces? How can we minimize some of the risks around AI and sexuality? What kinds of challenges has the move to a digital economy created for sex workers, educators, and therapists? To learn more, you can check out Sefani’s website. Also, if you’re looking for a “USB condom” (i.e., data blocker) like Stefani recommends, see here. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 10 Oct 2023 - 33min - 284 - Episode 230: How To Make Consent Sexy
Sexual consent is not as simple and straightforward as it might sound. It’s actually a complex and highly nuanced concept that means different things to different people and is communicated differently across contexts and relationships. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how we can do better when it comes to obtaining consent, how to make consent sexy, tips for better sexual communication, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Eric FitzMedrud, a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues in the San Francisco Bay Area. His specialty is helping men improve their sex lives, and his latest book is titled The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: How is consent usually depicted in the popular media, and how does this line up with reality? How can you go about obtaining consent without taking the excitement and spontaneity out of sex? How has the language around sexual consent evolved in recent years? Is it realistic to think that everyone will practice enthusiastic consent? What is the three-step consent process? What else should we be talking about when it comes to understanding and improving sexual communication? To learn more, you can check out Eric’s website. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2340-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 06 Oct 2023 - 29min - 283 - Episode 229: Men, Masculinity, & Male Sexuality in the 21st Century
There’s a growing narrative out there in the popular media and on social media that “men are trash” and that they need to “do better.” The response of some men has been to push back, and this has led to the rise of the “manosphere,” an online network of men’s rights activists pushing back against feminism. Tensions are quickly rising, so let’s talk about it. In today’s show we’re going to explore how the issues facing men have changed, what it means to be a “better man,” and more. My guest is Dr. Eric FitzMedrud, a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues in the San Francisco Bay Area. His specialty is helping men improve their sex lives, and his latest book is titled The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: What was the inspiration for writing The Better Man? What are some common things people get wrong about testosterone and what it means for male sexuality? As a society, how can we help men “do better” without pushing them into radical communities? How have the struggles that men are dealing with changed over the past 15 years? How can men go about unburdening themselves from sexual shame and reclaim their sexuality? To learn more, you can check out Eric’s website. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 03 Oct 2023 - 32min - 282 - Episode 228: The Rise of Pegging
In both porn and pop culture, we’re increasingly seeing women strapping on dildos and anally penetrating men, a sex act known as pegging. So what’s behind this growing trend? Let’s talk about it. In the last episode, we discussed the ins and outs of anal sex generally. Today, we’re going to dive further into the subject by exploring the popularity of pegging, the role of the prostate in sexual pleasure, tips for using sex toys during anal play, as well as what you need to know when it comes to douching and finding the right lube. I am joined once again by Dr. Thomas Gaither, a physician who is currently finishing up his urology residency at UCLA. In addition to conducting research on LGBT health and sexual medicine, he is an active TikTok creator teaching the masses about sexual health. You can find him on TikTok at that_prostate_doc. Some of the topics we explore include: Why is prostate stimulation such a big part of anal pleasure for men? What are some of the reasons why women might enjoy anal sex? What is the appeal of pegging to heterosexual men? How might someone introduce the idea of anal play to a relationship partner? If you’re worried about anal sex potentially being messy, what can you do about that? To learn more, you can check out Tom’s linktree and follow him on TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2338-lehmiller Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 29 Sep 2023 - 31min - 281 - Episode 227: The Ins and Outs of Anal Sex
Despite the fact that anal sex has become an increasingly common sexual activity, it’s a subject that continues to be ignored in almost all sex education. As a result, people generally have to learn about it all on their own, and there can be a bit of a learning curve. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how to approach this activity in ways that are safe and pleasurable, as well as some common myths and misconceptions surrounding it. My guest is Dr. Thomas Gaither, a physician who is currently finishing up his urology residency at UCLA. In addition to conducting research on LGBT health and sexual medicine, he is an active TikTok creator teaching the masses about sexual health. You can find him on TikTok at that_prostate_doc. Some of the topics we explore include: How many people practice anal sex? Why do people engage in anal sex? What do they get out of it? Is there any truth to the idea that anal sex causes long-term damage to the body? What should someone do if they experience pain during this activity? If someone is interested in trying anal sex for the first time, what do they need to know? To learn more, you can check out Tom’s linktree and follow him on TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 26 Sep 2023 - 30min - 280 - Episode 226: What It’s Like To Work In A Sex Shop
It’s one thing to visit a sex shop, but it’s quite another to stand behind the counter! Working in one of these stores can be a very fulfilling and rewarding experience, but it can also be challenging due to the wide range of customers. A lot of the people walking through the door might be feeling embarrassed. Some might have a complicated relationship with their own sexuality. And others will be rude or immature. So what’s it actually like to work in a sex shop? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the good, bad, and ugly of it all. I am joined once again by Fancy Feast, a Brooklyn-based burlesque performer, writer, and sex educator whose work has been profiled on NPR, Refinery29, and The Huffington Post. Her new book, Naked: On Sex, Work, and Other Burlesques, was the focus of the previous episode. Some of the topics we explore include: How is working in a sex shop like being an amateur sex therapist? What kind of training and sex ed do these shops provide to employees? What are some of the most fun and rewarding aspects of working at a sex shop? How does a lack of sex ed contribute to poor customer behavior in these shops? How can selling sex toys be a liberating experience, both for the seller and customer? How did the arrival of 50 Shades of Grey change what it’s like to work in a sex shop? To learn more, you can check out Fancy Feast’s website, and stay connected on Instagram and Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 22 Sep 2023 - 29min - 279 - Episode 225: An Inside Look at the World of Burlesque
At the beginning of the 20th century, burlesque shows featuring stripteases took the United States by storm. They played on Broadway and were popular across the country. By the end of the century, though, they had all but disappeared. However, burlesque has since made a comeback and is arguably more popular than ever. So let’s dive into the world of modern burlesque! I spoke with a burlesque performer about how she got into the business, the role and meaning of nudity in her performances, how audiences react to her shows, and so much more. My guest is Fancy Feast, a Brooklyn-based burlesque performer, writer, and sex educator whose work has been profiled on NPR, Refinery29, and The Huffington Post. Her debut book, Naked: On Sex, Work, and Other Burlesques, is set for release next month. Some of the topics we explore include: At its core, what makes something a burlesque performance? What are some of the different meanings of nudity for burlesque performers, and how is this communicated to the audience? What does the process of preparing for a burlesque show look like? How do local laws limit what performers can do in their acts? How (and why) do people’s opinions about burlesque differ from other forms of sex work? To learn more, you can check out Fancy Feast’s website, and stay connected on Instagram and Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 19 Sep 2023 - 28min - 278 - Episode 224: The Appeal of the MILF
MILF is one of the most searched for terms on popular porn sites year after year. So why are so many heterosexual guys drawn to hot, middle-aged mother figures? In the previous episode, we talked a bit about why older women are drawn to younger guys; so in this show, we’re going to explore the opposite perspective. We’re also going to dive a little further into the reality series MILF Manor and discuss why you can make a show about older women seeking younger guys, but you could never make a show about older men seeking younger women. I am joined once again by Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s Your Position which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include: Why do so many young guys find MILFs to be so hot? What actually makes someone a “MILF” anyway? Is it about age? Confidence? Something else? Why are age-gap relationships becoming more acceptable when the older partner is a woman, but less acceptable when the older partner is a man? We also explore the wide range of reactions the male contestants had to being on MILF Manor, what this show tells us about sex ed and sexual communication, the sexual double standard, and more. You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out her Linktree to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2337-lehmiller Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 15 Sep 2023 - 39min - 277 - Episode 223: Older Women Who Date Younger Men
Whenever an older female celebrity dates a younger guy, it tends to make the news. These women, often referred to as “cougars” or “MILFS,” have long had their relationships subject to scrutiny and stigma. However, the narrative around them has shifted, and nowadays, they’re frequently celebrated in the media. Case in point: the recent arrival of the popular reality series MILF Manor, a show in which a group of middle-aged moms date each other’s sons. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into why so many older women are into younger guys, what their relationships are like, and do a little analysis of MILF Manor. My guest today is Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She hosts a podcast called What’s Your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include: How common are age-gap relationships? Why might an older heterosexual woman want to date a significantly younger guy? Is MILF Manor a sign of progress, or is it feeding stereotypes around women and aging? We also explore the dynamics between moms and their sons on the show, the unrealistic beauty standards older women are held to, and why a show that was designed to facilitate sexual and romantic connections struggled to produce matches. You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out her Linktree to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 12 Sep 2023 - 41min - 276 - Episode 222: From KitKat to Berghain, Inside Berlin’s Sex Clubs
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the city of Berlin, Germany? There’s a good chance that you pictured a kinky nightclub. It’s estimated that as many as 1 in 3 visitors to Berlin goes specifically for these clubs. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how Berlin became a hub for kinky nightlife and discuss what it’s actually like inside two of Berlin’s most famous spots, the KitKat Club and Berghain. We’ll also take a look at how consent works in a sex club and give you some pro-tips on getting into Berlin’s clubs because they’re known as being notoriously difficult to enter. I am joined once again by Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour “Berlin’s History of Sex” in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on “The Story of Berlin’s Clubs” and “Berlin’s Queer & Trans History.” Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What role did the Berlin wall play in leading the city to become a nightlife hotspot? What could someone expect to see or experience if they visited KitKat or Berghain? What is a dark room, and why are they so common in Berlin and across Europe? How does consent work in sex club and group sex environments? How do Berlin’s clubs deal with privacy when everyone has a smartphone? To learn more, check out Jeff’s Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2336-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 08 Sep 2023 - 34min - 275 - Episode 221: Berlin’s Kinky Sexual History
Earlier this year, I taught a study abroad course on sex and culture in Berlin. As part of that trip, we took a three-hour guided tour on Berlin’s sexual history, and it was fascinating! I wanted to share what we learned with you, so I invited our wonderful tour guide onto the show to give us the highlight reel. In this episode, we’re going to chat about the roots of Berlin’s sexual liberation, which trace back more than a century. We’ll also discuss the history of sex research and therapy in Germany, which is equally fascinating. My guest is Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour “Berlin’s History of Sex” in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on “The Story of Berlin’s Clubs” and “Berlin’s Queer & Trans History.” Some of the topics we explore include: How can Berlin’s modern reputation for sex-positivity be traced back to the Roaring 20s? Who was Magnus Hirshfeld, and why is he a pivotal figure in the history of sex? How did the Nazis’ rise to power alter the sexual landscape in Germany? How did the post-WWII era shift towards sex-positivity in Berlin? Are attitudes towards sex in Berlin becoming more conservative today? To learn more, check out Jeff’s Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 05 Sep 2023 - 33min - 274 - Episode 220: The Medicalization of Sex
We live in an era where the preferred treatment for most health issues, including sexual problems, is increasingly a pill. However, this medicalized approach frequently overlooks the root cause. At their core, sex problems often stem from feelings of shame or guilt, inadequate sex ed, and mistaken ideas about what’s “normal” with regard to sex and the human body. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the problem with overmedicalizing sex problems, as well as the tricky business of defining what constitutes a sexual “disorder” in the first place. I am joined once again by Dr. Cynthia Graham, a professor of gender studies at Indiana University and a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She has been editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research since 2009. Her current research focuses on male condom use, hormonal contraceptives, women’s sexuality, women’s sexual pleasure, sexual problems, and sexual health among older adults. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include: What do we mean when we say the “medicalization of sex?” How can searching for a biomedical cure to all sexual difficulties be problematic? How has the conceptualization of sexual disorders changed over time? Is it even possible to create objective definitions of sexual disorders? How common are sexual difficulties, really? To stay connected, you can find Cynthia on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2335-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash.
Fri, 01 Sep 2023 - 33min - 273 - Episode 219: It’s Time To Build A Better Condom
Condoms are one of the best tools we have available for protecting our sexual health. However, modern condoms leave something to be desired. It is so easy to point to problems with condoms that make them difficult to use, that increase the odds of making mistakes, and that reduce sexual pleasure. Better education around condoms could reduce some of these problems, but we also need to start building better condoms! So in today’s show, we’re going to talk all about condoms, including why it seems harder than ever to get people to use them and how to best promote correct and consistent usage. My guest is Dr. Cynthia Graham, a professor of gender studies at Indiana University and a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She has been editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research since 2009. Her current research focuses on male condom use, hormonal contraceptives, women’s sexuality, women’s sexual pleasure, sexual problems, and sexual health among older adults. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include: Why is it harder to get people to use condoms today than it was a few decades ago? What are the most common condom mistakes/errors people make? How can we make condom use more pleasurable? Why does it seem so hard to build better condoms? Which interventions are most effective at promoting correct and consistent condom use? To stay connected, you can find Cynthia on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash.
Tue, 29 Aug 2023 - 34min - 272 - Episode 218: The Psychology of Dick Pics
There is undoubtedly a dark side to dick pics, such as when they’re sent without consent or used as a form of harassment. However, when shared consensually, there’s a positive side worth acknowledging. This is the second part in a 2-part series on the psychology of dick pics. In the last episode, we talked all about the dominant (and negative) narratives we hear in the popular media about these photos. So, today, we’re going to talk about the rarely discussed positive side of consensual dick pics, as well as what makes for a good dick pic in the first place (hint: put a little effort into it!). I am joined once again by Dr. Andrea Waling, a Senior Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health, and Society at La Trobe University. Her current research project, Men, Sex and Intimacy, explores how young, heterosexual men in Australia are navigating and negotiating intimacy, sex, sexual health and consent in wake of #MeToo politics. Her latest book is titled Exploring the Cultural Phenomenon of the Dick Pic. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include: What does it mean to think about dick pics reparatively? How can dick pics be an avenue to intimacy? What do women say are the qualities of a good dick pic? How can dick pics help men construct a positive sense of self? If you’re thinking about sending a dick pic to someone, what do you need to know? To learn more, check out Andrea’s website and stay connected on Twitter and Linkedin. You can also read our review of her most recent book here. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2334-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 25 Aug 2023 - 33min - 271 - Episode 217: A Cultural History of the Dick Pic
One of the most popular posts I’ve ever written on the Sex and Psychology blog was about why so many men send unsolicited dick pics to women. At the time, there wasn’t much research on the subject, but the data suggested that guys who do this are either clueless or narcissistic (or worse). This has fed a growing (and extreme) online narrative that all dick pics are bad, even when they’re sent consensually. So let’s take a closer look at the dick pic. I have a two-part series for you about the science of dick picks. In this show, we’re going to focus on the cultural history of the dick pic and the four most common narratives we hear about dick pics in the media. Next time, we’re going to talk about a new way of thinking about dick pics, as well as their positive side when shared consensually. My guest is Dr. Andrea Waling, a Senior Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health, and Society at La Trobe University. Her current research project, Men, Sex and Intimacy, explores how young, heterosexual men in Australia are navigating and negotiating intimacy, sex, sexual health and consent in wake of #MeToo politics. Her latest book is titled Exploring the Cultural Phenomenon of the Dick Pic. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include: Why write a whole book all about dick pics? How do you secure government funding for research when you’re doing the “dirty work” of studying sex? How has the cultural history of the penis shaped modern attitudes towards it? What are the four themes about why men send dick pics that dominate academic work and public discourse? Are dick pics always a form of harassment? Are men who send dick pics narcissists? To learn more, check out Andrea’s website and stay connected on Twitter and Linkedin. You can also read our review of her most recent book here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash.
Tue, 22 Aug 2023 - 41min - 270 - Episode 216: How Opening Up A Relationship Can Change You
There is an “awakening of self” that happens when people practice non-monogamy. This awakening has the potential to be exciting and exhilarating, but also frightening and destabilizing because you and your partner(s) may change in ways that you never anticipated. In today’s show, we’re going to explore a helpful model for understanding where each partner is during a relationship transition. This framework can serve as a useful practical guide when it comes to navigating the challenges that occur in the process of opening up or when exploring a new form of non-monogamy. I am joined once again by Jessica Fern and David Cooley, the co-authors of the new book, Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. Jessica is a Psychotherapist, Coach, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She is also author of the book Polysecure, which we spoke about previously on the show. David is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, who created the Restorative Relationship Conversations Model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. Some of the specific questions we discuss in this episode include: What does an “awakening of self” look like? How can opening up a relationship change you? What are the 5 different stages in the process of self-awakening? Why do partners sometimes move in different directions during a self-awakening? In what ways is self-awakening a positive experience? In what ways is it painful? To learn more, you can visit Jessica and David’s websites, and preorder Polywise here. Thank you to our sponsors! Thinking about opening your relationship? Get help from Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex and relationship education directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2333-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 18 Aug 2023 - 30min - 269 - Episode 215: Dealing With Differences In Relationships
We tend to be attracted to partners who are similar to us—and that makes sense. But no matter how similar you and your partner are, there are always going to be some areas where you differ. And while those differences have the potential to help a relationship thrive, they can also drive you apart. So let’s talk about navigating differences in relationships. In this episode, we’re going to focus on dealing with differences when you’re in a consensually non-monogamous relationship, but a lot of the information is applicable no matter what kind of relationship you’re in. My guests today are Jessica Fern and David Cooley, the co-authors of the new book, Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. Jessica is a Psychotherapist, Coach, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She is also author of the book Polysecure, which we spoke about previously on the show. David is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, who created the Restorative Relationship Conversations Model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. Some of the specific questions we discuss in this episode include: How important is similarity in relationships? How can opening up a relationship amplify differences between partners? How do you navigate communication differences in relationships? Why is it important for partners to do an inventory of their similarities and differences? How can non-monogamy help relationships thrive when big differences exist between partners? To learn more, you can visit Jessica and David’s websites, and preorder Polywise here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 15 Aug 2023 - 32min - 268 - Episode 214: Common Sex Questions, Answered
If you ask any sex educator, researcher, or therapist what the most common question they receive is, they’re probably going to have a very quick answer. People ask us a LOT of sex questions—and the same ones have a tendency of popping up over and over again. So let’s talk about some of the most common things that people ask us about! I am joined once again by Danielle Bezalel, also known as DB. She holds a degree in public health from Columbia University and is the creator, executive producer, and host of the Sex Ed with DB podcast. Some of the questions we answer in this episode include: Does penis size really matter? How much is “too much” when it comes to masturbation? What are some healthy ways to share your sexual interests with a partner? Does “body count” matter? Should we care about the number of people our partners have had sex with? If you’ve never had an orgasm before or are not sure if you’ve had one, what do you need to know? To stay connected, you can check out DB’s website, and find her on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. You can also sign up for DB’s workshop “Building a Profitable Online Sexual Health Brand” here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore your kinky side with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2332-lehmiller Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 11 Aug 2023 - 37min - 267 - Episode 213: The Business of Sex
Making a sustainable living as a sex educator is harder than it sounds. Despite all you’ve heard about how “sex sells,” it’s actually a much tougher sell than you might think! There are a lot of challenges to navigate when you’re talking about a controversial subject like sex on a daily basis, so let’s talk about being in the business of sex and how to build a thriving career in this area. My guest today is Danielle Bezalel, also known as DB. She holds a degree in public health from Columbia University and is the creator, executive producer, and host of the Sex Ed with DB podcast. Some of the topics we discuss include: What are some common challenges of trying to “sell” sex education? How do you talk about sex on social media without getting censored or banned? How can you build a financially sustainable business as a sex educator? How do you balance building industry relationships without giving away too much for free? What are some of the best parts of being a sex educator? To stay connected, you can check out DB’s website, and find her on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. You can also sign up for DB’s workshop “Building a Profitable Online Sexual Health Brand” here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securitysexuality.com Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 08 Aug 2023 - 40min - 266 - Episode 212: What Sex Therapy Is Really Like
A lot of people have ideas about sex therapy that are totally wrong. For example, some people seem to think that the therapist is going to be having sex with you, or that they’re going to watch you have sex. This could not be further from the truth! So let’s talk about what sex therapy is and isn’t. In this show, we’re also going to explore who sex therapy is for, how long it typically lasts, how well it works, and much more. I am joined once again by Dr. Jennifer Vencill, an assistant professor, board certified clinical health psychologist, and AASECT certified sex therapist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Dr. Vencill’s first popular press book is titled DESIRE: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which she co-authored with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy. Some of the topics we discuss include: What are some common things people get wrong about sex therapy? When someone visits a sex therapist for the first time, what might that first session look like? How long might someone expect to be in sex therapy to resolve a sexual problem? Who is a good candidate for sex therapy? What does couples sex therapy look like? How successful is sex therapy at treating and resolving sexual and relationship difficulties? To stay connected, you can follow Jennifer on Instagram. Looking for a sex therapist? Check out this page for a handy list of therapist locater tools. Thank you to our sponsors! Make oral sex your superpower with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Sign up today for Beducated’s FREE oral sex video training at https://beducate.me/lm2331-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 04 Aug 2023 - 24min - 265 - Episode 211: Tips For Improving Sexual Communication
The most commonly offered piece of sex advice I hear people give is to communicate more. While this advice certainly makes sense, simply telling people to “communicate more” can ring kind of hollow if it’s not coupled with information on how to do it. Most of us recognize the importance of communication; however, we don’t always do it because we often lack communication skills. So let’s talk about how to talk about sex! I am joined once again by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist. Along with Jennifer Vencill, Lauren is co-author of the forthcoming book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which we covered in the previous two episodes. Some of the topics we discuss include: How can partners get in the habit of talking about sex without it being a source of anxiety? What are some strategies for bringing up sexual difficulties with a partner? How can we express our “no’s” and hear a partner’s “no’s” in more productive ways? What are some healthy ways to share our fantasies and desires with a partner? How can you leverage non-verbal communication to express your sexual wants and needs? To learn more, make sure to check out Lauren’s website and connect with her on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 01 Aug 2023 - 23min - 264 - Episode 210: When You Want More Sex Than Your Partner
In the previous episode, we talked about sexual desire discrepancies, which occur when partners want different amounts of sex in a relationship. In that show, we focused on how to navigate this situation when you’re the partner with less sexual desire. Today, we’re going to focus on the flipside: what to do when you’re the partner with more sexual desire. No matter which side of the desire discrepancy you’re on, it can be a difficult situation to navigate, but there are lot of tips and strategies you can explore to help bridge the divide. My guest today is Dr. Jennifer Vencill, an assistant professor, board certified clinical health psychologist, and AASECT certified sex therapist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Dr. Vencill’s first popular press book is titled DESIRE: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which she co-authored with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy. Some of the topics we discuss include: What is the role of gender in sexual desire discrepancies? What does it mean to have “high libido” anyway? How can looking at your own motivations for sex help manage discrepant desire? What are the roles of self-pleasure and consensual non-monogamy in navigating desire discrepancies? What can a high-desire partner do to be supportive of a partner who might have lower desire due to trauma? To stay connected, you can follow Jennifer on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 28 Jul 2023 - 35min - 263 - Episode 209: When You Want Less Sex Than Your Partner
In long-term sexual relationships, partners aren’t always on the same page about sex. This is normal. However, when a sexual desire discrepancy becomes large and persistent, it can become a significant source of conflict and distress. So let’s talk about how to navigate desire discrepancies. This is the first episode in a two-part series on the subject. Today, we’re going to discuss what to do when you’re the one who wants less sex. In the next episode, we’re going to talk about the flipside: what to do when you’re the partner who wants more sex. My guest is Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist. She is the co-author of the forthcoming book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships. Her co-author of this book, Jennifer Vencill, will join me for the next episode. Some of the topics we discuss include: How common are sexual desire discrepancies? What are some of the factors that can negatively affect libido and lead to a decline in sexual desire? What does it really mean to have “low libido?” Is your libido actually low, or does it just seem low compared to your partner? What are some strategies for reconnecting with your partner when dealing with low libido? What is sensate focus, and how can it be helpful in dealing with a sexual desire discrepancy? To learn more, make sure to check out Lauren’s website and connect with her on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 25 Jul 2023 - 39min - 262 - Episode 208: The History of Fetishes, Pegging, and Kinky Scientists
From Albert Einstein to James Joyce, it turns out that a lot of revered historical figures had fascinating intimate lives and a proclivity for kink. So let’s continue the discussion of kinky history we started in the previous episode! Today, we’re going to talk about the kinky sex lives of some famous folks from the past, but we’re also going to explore the history and evolution of various sexual behaviors, from oral sex to pegging to foot fetishes. I am joined once again by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her series Kinky History, which has amassed nearly 3 million followers across her social media accounts. Esmé is a PhD candidate at the University of Melbourne and author of the upcoming book Kinky History: The Stories Behind Our Intimate Lives, Past and Present. She also hosts the popular Kinky History podcast. Some of the topics we discuss include: How long have humans been practicing fellatio, cunnilingus, and rimming? And how have these behaviors changed over time? Is pegging really a new sexual practice? Why might fetishes and kinks rise during epidemics and pandemics? Why have feet historically been one of the most common fetish objects? What are the kinky histories of author James Joyce and scientist Albert Einstein? To learn more, check out Esmé’s website, and stay connected with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 21 Jul 2023 - 33min - 261 - Episode 207: The History of Kinky Sex
It turns out that for as long as humans have been having sex, they’ve been having pretty kinky sex! So let’s talk about our kinky history. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the history of BDSM, the origins of the dildo and vibrator (and how they came to be so popular), the world’s first pornographic novel (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure), and more. All of these things have fascinating stories behind them—and learning about them can help us to better understand modern human sexuality. I am joined by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her series Kinky History, which has amassed nearly 3 million followers across her social media accounts. Esmé is a PhD candidate at the University of Melbourne and author of the upcoming book Kinky History: The Stories Behind Our Intimate Lives, Past and Present. She also hosts the popular Kinky History podcast. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why is it important for us to understand kinky history in a way that isn’t centered around shame and gossip? How long have humans been into kink and BDSM? When did humans start making dildos? What are the origins of the vibrator, and how did it come to be so popular? What is the significance of the book Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure? What is a day in the life of a sex historian like? To learn more, check out Esmé’s website, and stay connected with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 18 Jul 2023 - 34min - 260 - Episode 206: Making Ethical Non-Monogamy Work
In recent years, the term “ethical non-monogamy” has gone mainstream. But what does it actually mean to be ethically non-monogamous? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re also going to explore some common myths and misconceptions about it, tips for making ethically non-monogamous relationships work, as well as red flags to look out for. I am joined once again by Leanne Yau, also known as Poly Philia. She is a polyamory educator and sex-positive social media influencer, creating and curating humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity. She was named #1 in Cosmopolitan’s “10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok.” She is currently in training to become a polyamory-friendly therapist. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What does it mean for non-monogamy to be “ethical?” What do the terms “one-penis policy” and “unicorn hunting” mean? And why are they red flags in the world of non-monogamy? How can an overemphasis on fairness lead to a competitive dynamic in polyamory? Can polyamory be ethical regardless of whether it’s hierarchical or non-hierarchical? How can individuals establish healthy and workable non-monogamy agreements? Make sure to check out Leanne’s website, and connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 14 Jul 2023 - 38min - 259 - Episode 205: One Woman’s Polyamorous Journey
Interest in polyamory is on the rise. Google searches for it have been increasing for years, it’s increasingly being discussed in the popular media, and some municipalities are starting to offer legal recognition of polyamorous relationships. So what is it actually like to be polyamorous? My guest today is going to share her own personal poly journey. We’re going to discuss the benefits and challenges of multi-partner relationships, when the right time is to open up a monogamous relationship, and so much more. I am joined by Leanne Yau, also known as Poly Philia. She is a polyamory educator and sex-positive social media influencer, creating and curating humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity. She was named #1 in Cosmopolitan’s “10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok.” She is currently in training to become a polyamory-friendly therapist. Some of the topics we discuss include: How is age related to interest in polyamory? Is it easier to introduce non-monogamy at the start of a relationship, or to wait until later? What are some of the biggest benefits of being non-monogamous? What are some of the biggest challenges? How do relationship structures and agreements change over time in polyamory? Make sure to check out Leanne’s website, and connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 11 Jul 2023 - 36min - 258 - Episode 204: More Fascinating Facts About Sex
It is hard to believe, but we recently reached episode number 200 of this podcast! So how do you celebrate 200 episodes of a sex show? I decided to put together a compilation of some of the most fascinating facts about sex we’ve discussed to date. One of my co-managing editors at Sex and Psychology, Olivia Adams, helped me to narrow down several segments that are well worth revisiting. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: “Erotic self-focus” or the degree to which you turn yourself on, with guest Dr. Marta Meana (Episode 126) The growing number of men who are involuntarily celibate, with guest William Costello (Episode 133) What women are looking for in their affairs (and how they feel about them), with guest Susan Shapiro Barash (Episode 191) How religious values shape the way we interpret our own porn use, with guest Dr. Joshua Grubbs (Episode 186) The benefits of being single and how they change with age, with guest Dr. Yuthika Girme (Episode 174) In this show, I mentioned that there’s a guide for how to use this podcast as a companion teaching resource alongside my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality. This resource is already up on the site, and you can access it here. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 07 Jul 2023 - 33min - 257 - Episode 203: Digital Touch – Can Technology Meet Our Intimate Needs?
Humans are wired to feel good when we get the kind of touch that we want. But when we can’t get that, it’s bad for both our physical and psychological health. Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, most Americans said that they weren’t getting enough intimacy and affection, and this number has only increased since. So how can we fill this touch void in our lives? Could modern technology offer some solutions? In today’s show, we’re going to discuss digital touch and whether tech might offer new and effective ways to meet our need for intimate contact. I am joined once again by Dr. Michael Banissy, an award-winning Professor in Social Neuroscience and a science communicator. He has received multiple prizes for his contributions to Psychological Science, including a medal from the British Psychological Society. Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being is his first book (note that in the UK, his book is titled When We Touch). Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: Why is touch crucial to making virtual reality an immersive experience? How close is modern technology to mimicking real-life sensations of touch? To what extent can technology be an effective substitute for human touch? Is it realistic to think we can get the same benefits from mechanical touch that we can from human touch? What are the ethical concerns surrounding digital touch? Make sure to check out Michael’s website to learn more, and connect with him on Twitter and Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 04 Jul 2023 - 27min - 256 - Episode 202: Why Touch Is So Important In Relationships
One of the keys to maintaining healthy, long-term romantic relationships is physical intimacy. I’m not just talking about sex, though. For many reasons, non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so. In today’s show, we’re going to do a deep dive into why touch is so powerful, as well as why affectionate touch is one of the best ways to initiate sex and to have great sex. We’re also going to explore practical tips for bringing more touch into your relationships. I am joined by Dr. Michael Banissy, an award-winning Professor in Social Neuroscience and a science communicator. He has received multiple prizes for his contributions to Psychological Science, including a medal from the British Psychological Society. Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being is his first book (note that in the UK, his book is titled When We Touch). Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: Why is kissing such an important part of intimate touch? How does culture influence our preferred forms of intimate touch? How and why is hugging beneficial for our relationships? Why is touch so important during sexual initiation? How can physical affection help to unlock the benefits of sex on our well-being? What does it mean to “make affection, not love?” Make sure to check out Michael’s website to learn more, and connect with him on Twitter and Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 30 Jun 2023 - 37min - 255 - Episode 201: What We Fantasize About, And How To Share Your Fantasies
Let’s talk about sexual fantasies! In today’s show, we’re going to explore what people fantasize about doing sexually—and how that varies around the world. So how does culture influence what we fantasize about? We’re also going to discuss how people feel about their fantasies, where our fantasies come from, and how they change over the course of our lives. In addition, we’ll talk about some practical tips and tricks for sharing fantasies with a partner in case you’re interested in bringing them to life. I am joined once again by Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. Some of the topics we discuss include: How similar or different are sexual fantasy themes around the world? Why do Europeans seem to fantasize about cuckolding less than Americans? How might our political beliefs affect our fantasies? How do people feel about their sexual fantasies? What do we know about the origins of our fantasies? What’s the best way to share a fantasy with a partner? Head over to Company New Heroes’ website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle’s book can be found on the publisher’s website and on Amazon. Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Let therapy be your map and get on your way to being your best self with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH to get 10% off your first month. The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 27 Jun 2023 - 35min - 254 - Episode 200: Inside the World of Sexual Fantasies
Sexual fantasies are fascinating! There is so much diversity and variability in the way we envision these scenarios, so let’s talk about it. Today, we’re going to dive into some of the interesting details of our fantasy worlds, including where they take place, the perspective from which we see things, and the storylines they follow. My guest is Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What questions should you ask when interviewing people about their sexual fantasies? Beyond vision, what role do the other senses (smell, taste, sound, touch) play in sexual fantasies? Where do people usually fantasize about having sex? How important is the setting in our fantasies? Do we usually appear in our own fantasies and, if so, how do we tend to represent ourselves? Do people tend to see their fantasies from a first-person POV perspective, or from a third-person perspective (i.e., like they’re watching a movie)? Do fantasies usually have a distinct storyline with a beginning, middle, and end? Head over to Company New Heroes’ website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle’s book can be found on the publisher’s website and on Amazon. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 23 Jun 2023 - 34min - 253 - Episode 199: Behind the Scenes on a Porn Set
Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes when porn is filmed? There’s a lot more that goes into it than you might think! In today’s show, I’m going to interview a porn director about her process, including where she gets her ideas about what kinds of films to make in the first place. We’ll also talk about all the work and conversations that happen long before people ever strip down and start having sex, what it’s like to be on a porn set, how long it takes to film a scene, as well as what happens after filming ends. My guest today is Paulita Pappel, a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world, as well as the co-director of HardWerk, a hardcore film studio creating cinematic and tailored gangbangs. She also co-organizes and curates the Pornfilmfestival Berlin. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What is it like to be on the set of an adult film? Is the sex scripted/choreographed, or does it occur organically? What’s going on inside a director’s mind during filming? Is making adult films an arousing experience? What does aftercare look like in the world of porn? Be sure to check out more on Paulita’s website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 20 Jun 2023 - 33min - 252 - Episode 198: The Rise of Ethical and Feminist Porn
Over the last decade or so, many of the conversations about porn taking place in the popular media have shifted to the topics of ethical porn and feminist porn. But what does it really mean for porn to be ethical or feminist in nature? Does this imply that all mainstream porn is inherently unethical? Can we really think about the porn industry in these black-and-white, good vs. bad terms? Let’s talk about it! My guest today is Paulita Pappel, a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world, as well as the co-director of HardWerk, a hardcore film studio creating cinematic and tailored gangbangs. She also co-organizes and curates the Pornfilmfestival Berlin. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture. Some of the topics we discuss on this episode include: What do the terms “ethical porn” and “feminist porn” mean? What are some specific actions directors can take to bring ethical and feminist values into filmmaking? What does it mean to be an ethical porn consumer? As a porn consumer, what should you be looking for in order to support ethical productions? How can we convince people to start paying for their porn? Be sure to check out more on Paulita’s website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram to stay connected. You can also read our review of Paulita’s “How To Watch Porn” course here. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 13 Jun 2023 - 32min - 251 - Episodes 197: Why People In Happy Relationships Cheat
While it might be tempting to assume that people who cheat aren’t in very satisfying relationships, it turns out that even people who are very happy and in love with their partners sometimes commit infidelity, too. So why is that? Let’s talk about it. I recently released a few episodes of the show looking at women who have affairs (Eps 190 and 191), so we’re going to focus more on men today. Specifically we’re going to look at a new study of Ashely Madison users, a website that facilitates affairs and has a mostly male audience. We’re going to discuss why men (including those in happy relationships) have affairs and how it affects their primary relationships. I am joined by Dr. Dylan Selterman, a social/personality psychologist and an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Johns Hopkins University. Dylan is a TEDx speaker and has written for The Washington Post, National Geographic, and Psychology Today. He also co-hosts a podcast called A Bit More Complicated. Some of the topics we discuss on this episode include: How are sexual and relationship satisfaction linked to infidelity? How many Ashley Madison users are in open relationships vs. committing infidelity? What motivates men to seek affairs? How do they feel about their affairs ? What predicts whether an affair becomes a breaking point for a relationship? Be sure to check out Dylan’s website and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. You can also check out our recent blog post about this study to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 09 Jun 2023 - 33min - 250 - Episode 196: When Women Are (and Aren’t) Into Casual Sex
Imagine a woman wanders around a college campus and asks 100 different men at random whether they’d have sex with her. Now imagine a man wandering around the same campus asking 100 women for sex. How many people do you think would agree in each case? It turns out that we have the answers because this exact study has been done before! Today’s show is going to be all about how people respond to offers of casual sex from strangers, and how the results are similar or different across persons of different genders and sexualities. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: Why are women less likely to accept offers of casual sex than men? Under what circumstances are women most likely to accept offers of casual sex? What would happen if a celebrity (vs. a random stranger) asked you for casual sex? What is Pleasure Theory, and how can it help us to better understand human sexuality? Are lesbians as willing to accept offers of casual sex as gay men? For further reading on this subject, check out: Clark, R. D., & Hatfield, E. (1989). Gender differences in receptivity to sexual offers. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 2(1), 39-55. Conley, T. D. (2011). Perceived proposer personality characteristics and gender differences in acceptance of casual sex offers. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(2), 309. Matsick, J. L., Kruk, M., Conley, T. D., Moors, A. C., & Ziegler, A. (2021). Gender Similarities and Differences in Casual Sex Acceptance Among Lesbian Women and Gay Men. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 50(3), 1151-1166. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 06 Jun 2023 - 19min - 249 - Episode 195: Inside a Sex Doll Brothel
In 2017, the world’s first sex doll brothel opened its doors. Since then, several others have opened up in major cities around the world. These brothels exist in a gray legal zone and a lot of governments don’t want them around, which makes it tricky not just to set up shop, but to actually stay in business. So what is a sex doll brothel actually like? Who visits these establishments, what are they looking for, and how much does it cost? Let’s take an inside look at Cybrothel, a very unique sex doll brothel in Berlin where customers pay to have sex with a doll while a human sex worker provides the doll’s voice to make the client’s fantasies come to life. I am joined once again by Dr. Kenneth Hanson, an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Wyoming in the Department of Criminal Justice and Sociology. Using qualitative and mixed methods, his work has examined social issues related to artificial intelligence, sexuality, emotions, and sex toys. He has published papers about dating apps, the sex tech industry, Reddit, and sex doll owners. Some of the topics we discuss include: How is a sex doll brothel different from a traditional brothel? How common are sex doll brothels around the world? Where are they located? What is it like to serve as the voice for a sex doll? Who is the clientele for these brothels? What does it cost to visit a sex doll brothel? How does this compare to rates for in-person sex work? Will sex doll brothels eventually replace in-person sex work, or are they serving different audiences? Be sure to check out Kenneth’s website to learn more, and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 02 Jun 2023 - 33min - 248 - Episode 194: Sex Dolls, Sex Robots, and Chatbots
Modern sextech is rapidly changing the way people gratify their sexual and intimate desires. Sex dolls, sex robots, and chatbots are starting to become more accessible and popular. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss who is using these new technologies, their motivations, and the complex debate that’s playing out in the popular media about whether sextech is a positive or negative force in our lives. I am joined by Dr. Kenneth Hanson, an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Wyoming in the Department of Criminal Justice and Sociology. Using qualitative and mixed methods, his work has examined social issues related to artificial intelligence, sexuality, emotions, and sex toys. He has published papers about dating apps, the sex tech industry, Reddit, and sex doll owners. Some of the topics we discuss include: How many people have ever used a sex doll, chatbot, or sex robot? How are age, gender, and relationship status associated with sextech use? What are some of the key factors that motivate people to use sex dolls, chatbots, or sex robots? How effective is sextech at meeting people’s needs for intimacy and companionship? What are some of the key ethical concerns related to sextech? Be sure to check out Kenneth’s website to learn more, and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH and get on your way to being your best self. Check out FirmTech, awarded “most innovative sex toy of the year” by XBIZ! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 30 May 2023 - 32min - 247 - Episode 193: The Rise of Teen Sexting
In the United States, a whopping 89% of teens now have smartphones. Parents give their kids these devices for numerous reasons, with safety being at the top of the list; however, parents don’t necessarily know or have control over how their kids are using their phones. And a heck of a lot of kids are using them for sexting. This has created a lot of controversy and debate. Some see it as an inherently dangerous trend that poses great risk to teens, whereas others see it as just another way that youth are exploring their sexuality in an increasingly digital word. So let’s talk about teen sexting, including tips for safer-sexting, and what to do if you’ve discovered that your child is sexting. I am joined once again by Dr. Michele Meek, a writer, filmmaker, professor, and entrepreneur. She is an Assistant Professor in the Communication Studies department at Bridgewater State University. Her most recent book Consent Culture and Teen Films: Adolescent Sexuality in US Movies delves into the history of adolescent sexuality in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include: How prevalent is teen sexting? What motivates sexting among teens and adolescents? How worried should we be about the rise of teen sexting? What should parents know about sexting, and what should they be teaching their kids about it? How does sex ed need to change to best serve today’s youth? Be sure to check out Michele’s website to learn more about her films, writing, and other projects. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 26 May 2023 - 27min - 246 - Episode 192: Consent Culture in Television and Film
When people today look back at popular films and TV shows from decades past, they are often completely aghast at the sex scenes. Through our modern lens, they frequently read as problematic. While things have certainly changed in recent years, consent remains an elusive ideal, and one that Hollywood still struggles to get right with on-screen portrayals of sex. So let’s explore how consent culture is shaping the way that sexuality (and, in particular, teenage sexuality) is depicted in the media. For today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. Michele Meek, a writer, filmmaker, professor, and entrepreneur. She is an Assistant Professor in the Communication Studies department at Bridgewater State University. Her most recent book Consent Culture and Teen Films: Adolescent Sexuality in US Movies delves into the history of adolescent sexuality in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include: How have portrayals of teen sexuality on screen changed over time? What does the term “consent culture” mean? How is consent culture changing the way sexuality is portrayed in popular media? How does media exposure impact young viewers when it comes to sexuality and relationships? What are some examples of films or media that can serve as teachable moments about consent? Be sure to check out Michele’s website to learn more about her films, writing, and other projects. Thank you to our sponsors! Make oral sex your superpower with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Sign up today for Beducated’s FREE oral sex video training at https://beducate.me/pd2321-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 23 May 2023 - 37min - 245 - Episode 191: The 4 Types of Affairs Women Have
Picture a married heterosexual woman who is having an affair. Why do you think she’s engaging in infidelity? It is purely about sex and pleasure? Is it about intimacy and emotional connection? Is she doing it just because she can? Women’s affairs can take a lot of different forms, so let’s talk about them. In today’s show, we’re going to explore four distinct types of affairs that women have, as well as how women feel about their affairs. Are they happy that they did it, or do they have regrets? I am joined once again by author Susan Shapiro Barash. She has written thirteen nonfiction books on women’s issues. She also writes fiction under her pen name Susannah Marren. Susan’s latest book is titled A Passion for More: Affairs that Make or Break Us. In this book, Susan presents three decades of research she conducted on heterosexual women in monogamous relationships who committed infidelity. Some of the topics we discuss include: What motivates women to have affairs? What is the difference between an empowering affair, a sex-driven affair, a love affair, and a self-esteem affair? Are some types of affairs more prevalent than others? How did the pandemic impact women’s infidelity? How do women feel about the affairs they’re had? Be sure to check out Susan’s website to learn more, and be sure to check out Episode 190 for even more on Susan’s work Thank you to our sponsors! Check out FirmTech, awarded “most innovative sex toy of the year” by XBIZ! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Fri, 19 May 2023 - 29min - 244 - Episode 190: Women Who Stray – The Rise of Female Infidelity
Rates of infidelity have risen over the last half-century; however, if you break the data down by gender, it turns out that men’s rate of infidelity has remained relatively stable, whereas women’s has increased. So what’s behind the rise in female infidelity? And what are the implications of this for modern-day marriages and relationships? Let’s talk about it! I am joined today by author Susan Shapiro Barash. She has written thirteen nonfiction books on women’s issues. She also writes fiction under her pen name Susannah Marren. Susan’s latest book is titled A Passion for More: Affairs that Make or Break Us. In this book, Susan presents three decades of research she conducted on heterosexual women in monogamous relationships who committed infidelity. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: Are women today actually cheating more, or are they just more willing to admit to it than they were in the past? What role does technology play in women’s infidelity? How is age related to having an affair among women? In what ways do women say that affairs made their relationships or marriages better? At what point do affairs become a catalyst to leave a relationship? Be sure to check out Susan’s website to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 16 May 2023 - 32min - 243 - Episode 189: What Asexuality Is, And Isn’t
Asexuality is a broad umbrella term that refers to individuals who do not experience sexual attraction to others, or who only do so under rare or limited circumstances. Growing research in this area is helping to shed important light on the nature of asexuality because there are a lot of misconceptions about it, such as the idea that asexuality is a sexual dysfunction. But that’s not the case—and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to be exploring a new study that looks at sexual arousal and response in asexual men. The results are fascinating and help to give us a better understanding of what asexuality is and is not. I am joined once again by Dr. Malvina Skorska, a Postdoctoral Fellow at the University of Toronto Mississauga and at Brock University. She is also in training to become a psychotherapist in order to bridge both research and clinical work. Her research focuses on sexual orientation and gender dysphoria and has been published in leading scientific journals. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: How is asexuality defined scientifically? Why is it important to study asexual person’s sexual response and function? What can studying asexual persons’ sexual response and function tell us about the nature of asexuality? When showing people erotic films, how are asexual men’s sexual responses similar to or different from those of gay and heterosexual men? How are the fantasies of asexual men different from men of other sexual orientations? What do we know about sexual arousal and response in asexual women? Be sure to check out Malvina’s website to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Check out FirmTech, awarded “most innovative sex toy of the year” by XBIZ! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Tue, 09 May 2023 - 26min
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