Sex Chat for Christian Wives

In this week's Sex Chat Quickie, Chris gives you four tips on dealing with a gag reflex during oral sex.

When we talk about romantic attraction, we think of personal charm, visual appeal, and that spark of chemistry when a certain person is near. But for today's episode, consider this scientific one from Merriam-Webster, defining attraction as "a force acting mutually between particles of matter, tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation."

We're not just particles, but we want to be drawn toward our husband and to resist separation from him (and vice versa). But attraction doesn't stay the same over the whole of our marriage. Today, we talk about how we can keep attraction going or revive it if it's been lost.

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From the Bible

My beloved is radiant and ruddy,     distinguished among ten thousand. Song of Songs 5:10

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:18

Resources

Donate to the Ministry HERE.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

This week's quickie sex tip encourages you to learn about your husband's body.

You've probably heard that sex is good for your husband or good for your marriage, but what about you? We share our thoughts on what's so great about sex for WIVES. Listen in!

Sponsor

Thanks to Married Dance, a Christian sex toy store, for sponsoring this episode.

From the Bible

So I commended enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15 (NKJV)

So God created mankind in his own image,     in the image of God he created them;     male and female he created them. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. Genesis 1:27, 31

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31–32

Resources

Donate to Our Ministry

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

In this week's sex tip, Chris talks about undressing for your husband as a sort of foreplay that helps both of you.

Today, we tackle listener questions about whether low sex drive might be genetic, as well as how to address lack of desire; dealing with a husband's erectile problems; and what to do about a husband who disrupts a wife's sleep for sex.

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From the Bible

Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5, 8:4

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19

Resources

Donate to Our Ministry HERE.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

This week's Sex Chat Quickie is about learning about your own body.

What does it mean to prioritize sex? What does that look like in a real-life marriage, especially in a real-life marriage and when there are obstacles to sexual intimacy?

From the Bible

Do not deprive one another—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5 (CSB)

Let us go early to the vineyards     to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened,     and if the pomegranates are in bloom—     there I will give you my love. Song of Songs 7:12

Resources

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Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

We're launching a new feature of the Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast—Sex Chat Quickies! On the weeks between our full-length episodes, one of our hosts will bring you a quick sex tip.

This week's tip is what to ask your husband.

It's hard to believe that we started this podcast seven years ago! Today, we're giving updates about our endeavors, talking about lessons learned, and announcing a few changes, including one big announcement.

From the Bible

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. Proverbs 27:9

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris TaylorCalm.Healthy.Sexy. and Healthy Life Toolbox.com - Gaye Christmus Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." We are mindful of this promise as we share sad news about the unexpected death of Chris Taylor's husband. Please listen and consider how you can help.

Support

Any amount is appreciated. Thank you!

Fundraiser for Christel Taylor: Grateful for Doug Taylor (gofundme.com)

To send a check directly:

Chris Taylor c/o Cullom UMC 103 E. Van Alstyne  PO Box 264 Cullom, Illinois

And if you want to know more about Doug Taylor, aka Big Guy, here are a couple of relevant posts from Chris’s first blog:

Apologies for the poor audio quality in some places. We were not in our usual recording setup but felt it important to go ahead and get this news out.

We carry on our annual tradition of sharing Christmas season gift ideas with stocking stuffers that are sweet, surprising, sensual, and sexy! Happy holidays, everyone.

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Surprising

This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

One of our earliest episodes addressed sex toys, but we haven’t talked about it in a while. And yet, it’s one of the most often asked questions. Are they okay? How to use them? How not to use them? We cover that ground and more.

And stay tuned to the end for our special announcement.

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From the Bible

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:23–24

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22–23

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

Once again, we're answering your questions! Today, we'll cover three topics: what does "deprivation" really mean (1 Corinthians 7:3-5), dealing with the messiness of sex, and when sex cannot happen.

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The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

Subscribe to our upcoming newsletter HERE!

Recorded while still on our retreat in Nashville, Tennessee, we're playing a game and invite you to play along! Inspired by a board game in the Airbnb where we stayed, Chris and J present trivia questions about sex and test how much we "sexperts" really know. 

DOWNLOAD YOUR FACT OR FICTION PRINTABLE!

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From the Bible

For you created my inmost being;     you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13

My dove in the clefts of the rock,     in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face,     let me hear your voice;for your voice is sweet,     and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

We have often shared tips of things you can do to enjoy sex more, but today we're going to talk about things not to do. In this episode, we address 6 things not to do during sex.

Hot, Holy & Humorous Intimacy Cruise

My dove in the clefts of the rock,     in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face,     let me hear your voice;for your voice is sweet,     and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14

This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

You’ve probably heard of love languages, or maybe you haven’t. But when minister Gary Chapman noted that spouses often communicated love past one another, he realized that we express love in different ways. So, he proposed that there are five love languages—and his book of the same name became a bestseller and perennial favorite. Today, we’ll talk about those languages and what they mean when it comes to our favorite topic: sex.

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From the Bible

Gifts: Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. Song of Songs 7:12

Quality Time: My beloved is mine and I am his;     he browses among the lilies. Until the day breaks     and the shadows flee, turn, my beloved,     and be like a gazelle or like a young stag     on the rugged hills. Song of Songs 2:17 Physical Touch: His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me. Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3

Acts of Service: I would lead you     and bring you to my mother’s house—     she who has taught me. I would give you spiced wine to drink,     the nectar of my pomegranates. Song of Songs 8:2

Words of Affirmation:

HE How beautiful you are, my darling!     Oh, how beautiful!     Your eyes are doves.

SHE How handsome you are, my beloved!     Oh, how charming!     And our bed is verdant. (Many other passages in Song of Solomon demonstrate Words of Affirmation!)

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

The term “emotional labor” has come to mean the emotional cost of outwardly acting with composure when inwardly we are feeling something different. Rose Hackman, an expert on emotional labor describes is at the editing work of emotions that someone would do in order to have an effects on the emotions of someone else. Today, we want to talk about emotional labor and how it can negatively affect sexual interest.

MarriedDance - Christian sex toy store - Nudity-Free, Discreet Shipping

Join the podcast team for a Meet & Greet! Saturday, July 22, 1:00–3:00 pm 1035 Acorn Drive, Nashville TN 37210 

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. Galatians 6:2–5

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. Ephesians 4:9

A wife of noble character who can find?     She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her     and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm,     all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax     and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships,     bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night;     she provides food for her family     and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it;     out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously;     her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable,     and her lamp does not go out at night. Proverbs 31:10–18

This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

We’re recording before the American Independence Day, but this episode will air on July 4th—a time when fireworks displays can be found all over the country. But what about the explosive power of lovemaking? How can you create fireworks in the bedroom?

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Get the subscription box HERE, and shop more widely at Share the Soap HERE.

From the Bible

The mandrakes send out their fragrance,  and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old,  that I have stored up for you, my beloved. Song of Songs 7:13

Resources

Want a transcript of this episode? With the help of AI, we're trying out a new feature. Click HERE to get a PDF with a (rough) transcription of Episode 157: Creating Fireworks in the Bedroom.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

Today we're talking about the penis. What exactly is it? How does your husband feel about it? How do you feel about it? And how can you get comfortable and have fun with it?

Click here to learn more

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

Today's episode focuses on a group of women who often struggle to enjoy sex or prioritize sex in their marriages – busy moms. This group includes women across a wide range of ages and life stages 0151from those caring for infants and toddlers at home to those juggling all of the activities, demands, and worries involved in raising teenagers. We talk about some of the things that get in the way of busy moms enjoying sex in their marriages and share some ideas for creating a more enjoyable sex life.

Sponsor

From Share the Soap, check out the new quarterly subscription box! And for FCW listeners only, use coupon code FCWJuly and get a free lip balm. Put the Celebrate box and the desired lip balm in the cart, apply the coupon, and the lip balm will be free. Coupon good for the month of July.

Visit Share the Soap.

From the Bible

She is clothed with strength and dignity;     she can laugh at the days to come. Her children arise and call her blessed;     her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things,     but you surpass them all.” Proberbs 31:25, 28-29

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

Today, we're discussing pornography and erotica, and you can probably guess where our collective opinions land. But we want to explore this topic just a little further to solidify where your values land.

Sponsor

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From the Bible

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 (NLT)

I will conduct the affairs of my house     with a blameless heart. I will not look with approval     on anything that is vile. Psalm 101:2b–3a

Drink water from your own cistern,     running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets,     your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone,     never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed,     and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:15–18

Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. Proverbs 6:25

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:27–30

"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman." Job 31:1

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

One of the most frequent questions we hear is how can we more easily achieve the ultimate moment with our husbands in the bedroom. So today, we are talking about practical tips to reach orgasm.

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This episode is also sponsored by Married Dance, an online Christian sex toy store

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. Song of Songs 1:2

Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love. Song of Songs 5:1b

While some Christian leaders and churches address the topic of sex well, too many either mishandle it or ignore it altogether. We here at the virtual kitchen table have heard the stories, good and bad. And we’re bringing our collective wisdom today to share what we wish more churches knew about sex and how to encourage church leaders to talk more biblically, authentically, and respectfully about it.

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From the Bible

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. James 3:1 (A heavy verse for all of us who dare to instruct others publicly. May God give us wisdom.)

Resources

Note: All women who shared quotes and scenarios with Bonny gave her permission to share them on this podcast.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

In this episode, we tackle listener questions, including where Christian wives can find sex tips and techniques, fantasizing during lovemaking, when it's okay to refuse sex, and how to grab hold of an elusive orgasm. 

Sponsor

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From the Bible

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Hebrews 13:4 (NASB)

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 1 Corinthians 7:3-6 (NKJV) - but see the definition and examples for deprivation HERE

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

We’re back at the virtual kitchen table, and today we’re talking about our bodies. That is, women’s bodies—what real women look like, how we view our bodies, and how we can care for and embrace those bodies that we bring into the marital bedroom.

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FROM THE BIBLE

For you created my inmost being;     you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;     your works are wonderful,     I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you     when I was made in the secret place,     when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Psalm 139:13-15

RESOURCES

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

Today we’re talking about your health and health habits and the ways they can affect your sex live. As you know, we’re not medical professionals, so we won’t be talking about specific health conditions or medical advice. Instead, we’ll focus on the kinds of healthy habits that almost every woman can establish in her life and the ways that those habits might affect her body and sex life.

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From the Bible

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." 3 John 2:1

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

Today, we are discussing sex scheduling. This is a term we throw around in our kitchen table conversations, and yet it’s been a while since we devoted a whole episode to this controversial topic.

Sponsor

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Also sponsored by the Hot, Holy & Humorous Cruise, coming October 12–21, 2023.

From the Bible

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

Dr. Juli Slattery, the co-founder of Authentic Intimacy and author of numerous books, joins us at the virtual kitchen table to discuss some topics found in her latest book, God, Sex, and Your Marriage.

Sponsor

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Also sponsored by Married Dance, an online Christian marital aid store from a Christian husband and wife.

(in order of mention in the episode)

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. 1 Corinthians 7:3-6 (NIV)

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

The wife’s body does not belong only to her. It also belongs to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong only to him. It also belongs to his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:4 (NIRV)

The wife does not have [exclusive] authority over her own body, but the husband shares with her; and likewise the husband does not have [exclusive] authority over his body, but the wife shares with him. (AMP)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-33

The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (MSG Paraphrase)

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 (KJV)

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 1 Corinthians 12:9a (NKJV)

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

When it comes to sexual interest, we tend to talk about which spouse has the higher or lower drive. Whichever you are, it can be helpful to understand where the opposite is coming from. So today, we’re going to illuminate what desire is like for the higher drive wife and lower drive wife—recognizing that this can help us better understand our own spouse’s perspective and be advocates for one another!

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Also sponsored by: Hot, Holy & Humorous Marriage, October 14-21, 2023

From the Bible

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Song of Songs 7:10

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

For women, sexual interest tends to be affected by many different factors. Of particular significance is the status of our marital relationship. When things are going great in your overall relationship with your husband, sex can feel like an easy and natural extension of that relationship.

And what about when things aren’t going so great? It’s normal to have ups and downs throughout the life of your marriage—but how does this affect your sex life, and what can you do about it?

Before we dig in, let’s be absolutely clear that we are talking about normal ups and downs—when you and your husband have had an argument, when one of you has hurt feelings, or even when life gets busy and you barely have time for a conversation, much less sex. We are NOT talking about a marriage that is on the verge of divorce, nor are we talking about a situation in which your husband has been in unrepentant sin against you through pornography or abuse.

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Married Dance

Venus Pearls

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Quickie can be used as a noun or adjective to simply mean “something done or made in a hurry.” When it comes to lovemaking, quickies are drive-through sex, rather than the full meal or feast we might prefer to have. But quickies in a marriage can serve a positive purpose, and today we talk about when and how to incorporate them into your marriage, as well as when not to.

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Also sponsored by Married Dance. Save 13% storewide using coupon BF22 only through November 30, midnight CST.

From the Bible 

“Hurry, my beloved, And be like a gazelle or a young stag On the mountains of balsam trees!” Song of Songs 8:14 (NASB)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Resources 

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

Affiliate notice: This post contains affiliate links, meaning that our ministry receives a small commission with each purchase made through the link that helps cover our costs.

Welcome to our 6th annual Christmas episode!

With Christmas only 6 weeks away, we want to help ease your mental load. So, today we are sharing some gift giving ideas that link to our favorite past episodes.

These gifts are in the categories of:

Something you want Something you need Something you wear and Something you read! And of course, the gift ideas we offer are something that can enhance the sexual intimacy in your marriage.

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Special for our listeners: Buy an advent self-care set and get a free Anticipation Aromatherapy Roll On (a $9.99 value). To get the bonus, simply add both items to the cart and use coupon code FCWALLIWANT at checkout.

Click Here to Visit Share the Soap!

This episode is also sponsored by Married Dance - a Christian sex toy store run by a married couple, with marriage-focused products and tips.

Be sure to listen to the episode to hear more about the products below and learn why they made our lists!

Chris's picks, based on Episode 98: Overcoming Boredom in the Bedroom.

WANT

NEED

WEAR

READ

J's picks, based on Episode 75: Our Best Tips for Initiating Sex

WANT

Bedroom Makeover:

NEED

WEAR

READ

Gaye's picks, based on Episode 4: Stress and Sex

WANT

NEED

WEAR

READ

Bonny's picks, based on Episode 84: Self-Care and Sexual Interest

WANT

A better friendship with your husband

NEED

We all need Jesus!

WEAR

READ

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." John 17:20-23

May you and your husband be in unity this holiday season (and beyond)!

Affiliate notice: This post contains affiliate links, meaning that our ministry receives a small commission with each purchase made through the link that helps cover our costs.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

It’s hard to believe, but today we’re going to start talking about the holidays. By the time we publish this episode, most of us will have started thinking about the upcoming holiday season.

What does that have to do with sex? Just this—the six or seven weeks from mid-November until New Year’s Day are some of the busiest and most stressful of the year for women. And we know from previous episodes (and you likely know from your own experience) that stress can mess with your libido and your sex life.

So, we want to talk a little bit about stress and sex, but then mostly about ways to reduce holiday stress and enjoy fun sex and intimacy with your husband during the busy holiday season.

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From the Bible

For to us a child is born,   to us a son is given,   and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called   Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,   Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:2

Resources

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

We hear from many wives who say they struggle with giving oral sex. In episode 42, we looked at the big picture of oral sex and discussed what God has to say, health concerns, and how a couple can work through their disagreement about oral sex. This episode is for wives who are ready to start giving their husbands oral sex or who want to get even better at it. We’re going to get into some specifics here. So, friends, pull yourself up close to our virtual kitchen table and listen up.

Click the image to visit Share the Soap and learn more about goat milk products with aromatherapy.

This episode was also sponsored in part by our Webinar Series. Visit our store to learn more.

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. Song of Songs 2:3

For many, sexuality and sexual experience are compartmentalized away from God. Today, we want to invite you to sit with us as we discuss how God is interwoven throughout every area of our lives, including (and most importantly for this podcast) our sexual intimacy with our husbands.

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From the Bible

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 (NASB)

But now, this is what the Lord says—     he who created you, Jacob,     he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;     I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters,     I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,     they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,     you will not be burned;     the flames will not set you ablaze. Since you are precious and honored in my sight,     and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you,     nations in exchange for your life. Isaiah 43:1-2,4 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 9:6-11

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 (ESV) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Where can I go from your Spirit?     Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there;     if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn,     if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me,     your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139:7-10

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 1 John 4:16

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Check out our value-priced webinars: Shop! - Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Individual Websites

Calm.Healthy.Sexy. - Gaye Christmus Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker Strong Wives - Bonny Burns

Sexual arousal describes physiological and psychological preparation for a sexual encounter and intercourse. Today, we talk about what it feels like, what gets in the way, and how to enhance your sexual arousal.

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From the Bible

Let him lead me to the banquet hall,     and let his banner over me be love. Strengthen me with raisins,     refresh me with apples,     for I am faint with love. His left arm is under my head,     and his right arm embraces me.

Song of Songs 2:4-6

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Today, Bonny and Gaye share fresh ways of thinking about changes you want to make in your sex life and offer practical tips for taking small, positive steps in that direction.

Sponsor

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Also sponsored by Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples!

From the Bible

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Song of Solomon: Solomon’s Song of Songs - Bible Gateway

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

There are a lot of resources about sex now, some great and some terrible. But often, resources have some important truths, some debatable points, and some myths. Today we want to talk about what really matters—the foundational points we want wives to know about sex.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about sex? 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Resources

Sponsor

Click to buy or learn more

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

We understand the struggle wives often have with their body image and how it affects their sexuality. Today we want to revisit this topic to discuss how we can finally embrace our bodies and get comfortable being naked with our husbands.

What does God have to say about body image?

For you created my inmost being;     you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;     your works are wonderful,     I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14

Today we’re talking about something that most women are thinking about at this time of year — taking better care of our health. If you’re like us, you’re probably thinking about getting in shape, eating a healthier diet, getting more sleep, or losing some weight over the next few months.

And your reasons, like ours, are probably pretty straightforward — you want to look better. You want to feel better. You want to have more energy. And you want to avoid getting sick.

But there’s a bonus reason for taking care of your health that you may not know about — improving your sex life.

So let’s talk about some of the ways that good health can lead to better sex and intimacy in your marriage.

What does God have to say about this?

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies," 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

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Today we’re talking about higher desire wives. But whether your sexual interest is higher or lower than your husband, you’ll benefit from our conversation.

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Learn more HERE.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about higher desire wives?

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

We’ve talked a lot on this podcast about being able to discuss sex with your husband. And even have "more than one conversation," which is Gaye’s trademark advice. But today, we want to walk through the specifics. Whether it’s actually for small changes, an overhaul of your sex life, or something in between, how can you talk to your husband about sex?

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From the Bible

Gracious words are a honeycomb,   sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

My dove in the clefts of the rock,   in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face,   let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet,   and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

When God created women, He gave us an amazing gift—the clitoris! Its only purpose is our sexual pleasure, but many of us don’t know too much about this part of our body. In this episode, we’re going to help you learn about the wonderful clitoris.

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From the Bible

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14

Resources

Amphis, CC SA 1.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

In summertime, the living is supposed to be easy, but we often find it just as stressful and scheduled as the rest of the year is. In this episode we talk about simplifying your summer in ways that can improve your sex life.

Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 4:6

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15

Bonny and Chris answer questions about older kids knowing that their parents are having sex, responding to a husband's struggle with pornography, and discerning what is okay in the bedroom.

Matthew 5:28 - But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Song of Solomon 2:3 - Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 4:16 - Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.

Ephesians 6:11-15 - Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

The Joy of Earbuds | The Forgiven Wife

Q&A with J: Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear - Hot, Holy & Humorous

5 Reasons to Stop Using Porn...Now - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Samson Society

Hope for Wives podcast

Beggar's Daughter

SheRecovery

About this episode

You probably know from your own marriage, or from observing other marriages, that non-sexual interactions can make or break a marriage. Today, we talk about why this is true and how we can leverage it to benefit our marriages.

This episode was also sponsored in part by Married Dance, a Christian-owned store for marital aids and sex toys.

Greet one another with a holy kiss. - 2 Corinthians 13:12

Our listeners have varied experiences, and some may value knowing some basic principles from a physical and emotional perspective. So today, we're getting back to the foundations of sexual intimacy, including what we wish we'd known going into marriage.

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From the Bible

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22–23

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. Galatians 5:13

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ. 1 Peter 5:14

And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 1 John 3:23

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7

Song of Songs (the mutuality and intimacy of sex in marriage)

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. 1 Corinthians 10:23

Resources

includes affiliate links

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

With Bonny out again, we’re down one wife today, but we’ve invited not one but two other wives to join us at today’s virtual kitchen table. We’re so happy to have Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer, co-authors of The Flirtation Experiment, with us to discuss how flirting with your husband can lead to greater intimacy in marriage and the bedroom. Be sure to check out their book!

Sponsor

This episode was sponsored by Venus Pearls, from Burns Logsdon Therapeutics.

This episode is also sponsored by Married Dance.

From the Bible

What does the Bible say about flirting?

You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. Song of Songs 4:9

His mouth is sweetness itself;     he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend,     daughters of Jerusalem. Song of Songs 5:16

And the rest of Song of Songs!

Resources

(includes affiliate links)

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

About this episode

We’ve heard from many women that their sex life sometimes feels boring. Today, we talk about boredom in the bedroom and what to do about it.

This episode was sponsored by Venus Pearls, from Burns Logsdon Therapeutics.

The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved. – Song of Songs 7:13

Have you heard it said that sex is a need? We have too. Quite a few people talk about how a spouse can and should meet their mate’s sexual needs. Today we’re addressing that underlying assumption: Is sex a need?

Sponsor

This episode is sponsored by Strong Wives - Bonny Burns' Coaching Site.

Also sponsored by Married Dance, a Christian, marriage-focused sex toy store.

From the Bible

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

In this episode, we're responding to questions from listeners about touching yourself during sex, whether it's okay to have sex just for fun sometimes, and why a young husband might struggle to maintain an erection.

This episode is sponsored by Strong Wives - Bonny Burns' Coaching Site.

A cheerful heart is good medicine... ~ Proverbs 17:22a

Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. ~ Jeremiah 17:14

When we started podcasting in February 2017, we didn't know whether we'd get through one year, much less five years. But here we are, celebrating this amazing milestone with a bit of reminiscing, some bloopers, and our wishes and hopes for our fabulous listeners! 

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From the Bible

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. - Proverbs 31:25

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

This is a time of year when a lot of people are talking about taking better care of themselves—things like eating healthier, starting to exercise, getting more sleep, setting goals, or setting boundaries in their lives. But self-care, even though it sounds like a good thing, can be a touchy subject in some Christian circles. Let’s talk about self-care and what role—if any—it should play in the lives of Christian women.

What is self-care? What does that term mean to you? Should Christians practice self-care? Did Jesus practice self-care, and what does the Bible say about it? What kinds of self-care should we engage in? What kinds of activities are likely to promote real joy, peace, and health in our lives? What kinds of activities are unlikely or less likely to promote those things? What is something you’re doing to practice self-care this year, and what would you say to our listeners to encourage them to take care of their bodies, minds, spirits, and relationships this year?

Subscribe to their Position of the Week Newsletter at PositionOfTheWeek.com.

This episode was also sponsored in part by Share the Soap. Be sure to sign up for their newsletter to be notified of upcoming promotions.

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." Jeremiah 31:25

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Genesis 2:2

And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate it in their presence. Luke 24:41-43

One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. Luke 8:22-23

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42

So Miriam was confined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not move on till she was brought back. Numbers 12:15

So I commended enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15

Affiliate notice: This post contains affiliate links, meaning that our ministry receives a small commission with each purchase made through the link that helps cover our costs

We’re back! It was an eventful December and early January for us and will share what we have been doing. Today, we’re talking about a new sexual you. What does that mean? What does it look like? And how can you achieve it?

What does it mean to have a new sexual you? Are we saying just more sex or something else? What would it look like to make goals for improving sexuality? What kinds of goals can wives set for themselves and their marriage? Once you’ve set some goals, how can you track your progress? What even counts as progress? Let’s wrap up with each of us giving our listeners a word of encouragement. What would you like to say to wives wanting this to be the year they embrace healthy and holy sexuality?

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From the Bible

"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:14-15. "The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners." Isaiah 61:1.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!     People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house;     you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life;     in your light we see light. Psalm 36:7-9

Resources

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Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

We can’t leave off the year without providing another wonderful gift guide! We’ll link to others in the show notes, but today we’re focusing on gifts that speak not only to marital intimacy but specifically our five senses.

This idea made us think of the song "Twelve Days of Christmas"! Instead of five golden rings, we’re addressing our five golden senses.

Also sponsored by Share the Soap.

And by Strong Wives.

What does the Bible say about gift-giving?

Later on, during the wheat harvest, Samson took a young goat as a gift and visited his wife. – Judges 15:1 (Do not—I repeat, do NOT let your husband give you a goat for Christmas! Good heavens. ~ J)

"They were to be days of feasting, rejoicing, and of sending gifts to one another and to the poor." – Esther 9:22b. (This verse refers to Purim, but shows the same generous spirit we want to have at Christmastime.)

Some of the links below are affiliates, meaning that the price remains the same for you, but we receive a small commission if you purchase through the link. These commissions help us to defer our costs. Thanks!

Sight

Smell

Taste

Hearing

Touch

What are the best things about sex? We compiled a list of ten and hope it will inspire you to pursue better and deeper intimacy in your marriage.

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From the Bible

What does the Bible say about the best things about sex?

I belong to my beloved,   and his desire is for me. – Song of Songs 7:10

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. – Ephesians 5:31-32 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:24-25

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

We want you to understand that sex is for you too! This is an idea we discuss frequently in our episodes, but today it is our focus.

Why do we even need to have this conversation? Why do so many women struggle with the idea that sex is for them? Is it okay for sex sometimes to be primarily for one spouse? If so, when and how would that work? What can you actually do to make sex for you as well?

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From the Bible

What does the Bible say about sex being for you too?

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—     if you find my beloved, what will you tell him?     Tell him I am faint with love. – Song of Songs 5:18

Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,     let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards     to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened,     and if the pomegranates are in bloom—     there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance,     and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old,     that I have stored up for you, my beloved. –Song of Songs 7:11-13 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. – Ephesians 5:31-32

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

1 Thessalonians 5 tells us to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances. Today we're going to talk about what this means in relation to sex. How can we pray about sex or during sex?

Some wives may think it seems a little weird to be thinking about prayer and sex. Why is that? What does the Bible say about prayer and sex? How can we help ourselves get more comfortable talking to God when it comes to sex? What are some ways we can pray ABOUT sex? What can we pray about DURING sex?

I came to my garden, my sister, my bride,     I gathered my myrrh with my spice,     I ate my honeycomb with my honey,     I drank my wine with my milk.

Eat, friends, drink,     and be drunk with love!

~ Song of Songs 5:1

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6–7

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. ~ James 5:13

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ~ James 1:5

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ Thessalonians 5:16-17

We are down one host with Chris out today, but Gaye, Bonny, and I are here to answer your questions. If you have a question that you’d like us to address, head to our website, click the Ask a Question tab, and shoot us an email.

While we cannot respond to all of your questions, we try to cover a lot of ground and answer what we can. Be sure to go back through our older episodes as well to see if we might have covered a topic you’re wondering about.

"[My husband] continues to look at other women and images that are so easily available outside our home. My question is; Am I wrong to be upset by this habit? Are my expectations too high? How do I learn to trust when I feel so betrayed when I see him look? Do I need counseling to truly move past this?" "My husband and I have a great sex life… The problem is that I want sex with him AND I fantasize about other men too.” AND “I have struggled in that last few years with other men popping into my mind during sex… I sometimes just don’t know how to handle a quiet mind so random thing will try to steal my attention/make noise in my mind. Wondering how I can enhance my intimacy with mental focus." "I am definitely the lower drive spouse and I think it’s mostly because I have so much trouble getting turned on. It takes sooo long and we don’t have a lot of extra time with our toddler around. I am struggling the most with talking with my husband during sex… I feel like I’m grasping at that turned on feeling and any little thing pulls me out of it. My husband is very very kind, patient and wanting to do what I need but I feel like I can’t quite do it and I feel like I’m letting him down. I want sex to be good but I can’t get the communication thing down. Any tips?"

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From the Bible

Today we’re going to give you a little update on what’s happening with us, talk about what might be happening with you, and then discuss what that might mean for your sex life and your marriage.

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From the Bible

What does the Bible say about when life is overwhelming?

When I said, “My foot is slipping,”   your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me,   your consolation brought me joy. – Psalm 94:18-19 But now, this is what the Lord says—   he who created you, Jacob,   he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;   I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters,   I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,   they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,   you will not be burned;   the flames will not set you ablaze. – Isaiah 43:1-2 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." – Matthew 11:28

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

Resources

And remember if you need or want counseling, we recommend*:

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Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

We are going to discuss practical ways to help you discover fun and playfulness between you and your husband. We talk a lot about being lighthearted during sexual intimacy, and today we want to spark your creativity.

What are some obstacles you can think of that would hinder playfulness in a married couple’s sexual relationship? What would you say to a friend who sees playfulness as a challenge to incorporate into her sexual relationship with her husband? What are some practical ideas to find light-heartedness or create playfulness during intimate moments? What does the Bible say about fun?

What does God have to say about positions?

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 8:15 (NIV)

A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.. – Proverbs 17:22 (NKJV)

A joyful heart makes a face cheerful, but a sad heart produces a broken spirit. – Proverbs 15:13 (CSB)

About this episode

Today’s episode has a tantalizing title, but what we’re really talking about are positions that work especially well for a wife, ones that don’t work, and positions might give you a better opportunity to orgasm.

Let’s revisit some basic concepts first and discuss why sexual positioning matters. What are some of the more comfortable or pleasurable sex positions for the wife? Now how about what Bonny has called #positionfail? That is, positions you or others have tried that Did Not Work Out? What are some sex positions that could provide a good way for a wife to reach climax?

What does God have to say about positions?

His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. – Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3

Today, we discuss a question that a reader submitted recently:

How far is too far? How much do I compromise? I know I'm not perfect. I know I could have showed up more in the bedroom and have said as much. But I do try. It's hard as a woman, wife and now mother of 2. He says I don't listen and no one ever listens. So, he demands I do things I do not like. At times, it's not so bad. I can't handle it when he is angry. He gets rough. And then when I ultimately refuse he is so fed up and angry he leaves me feeling like I just will never be able to make him happy. I am feeling hopeless. And I struggle with knowing if I really need to be doing more or if I'm over compromising. I love my husband. We have been together almost 9 years, and I consider him my best friend. However, at times I wonder if we can ever get past this to live a happy marriage.

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about this topic?

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” – Genesis 4:1

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

But whether we are at home with the Lord or away from him, we still try our best to please him. – 2 Corinthians 9:10 (CEV)

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. – Luke 8:17

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Today we’re talking about feeling comfortable in your body. This is a struggle for so many women, and it affects every area of our lives—inside and outside the bedroom.

So, ladies, when we say “getting comfortable with your body,” what does that mean? And why is it so hard to do? What are some of ways that body discomfort shows up in women’s lives? And, of course, feeling uncomfortable with your body tends to show up with a vengeance in the bedroom. Why is that the case, and what impact does body discomfort have on women’s sex lives? What are some things women can do to begin that process and start moving forward?

What does God have to say about getting comfortable with your body?

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:27

For you created my inmost being;   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;   your works are wonderful,   I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14

What do we do in our beds besides sex? Sleep, of course! Today we’re going to talk about the relationship between sex and sleep.

A recent study of over 3,400 women noted that those “who did not routinely get restful slumber were nearly twice as likely to report sexual problems, such as lack of desire or arousal.” While researchers don’t know which came first—poor sleep or sex problems—their study provides food for thought. How might poor sleep impact our bodies and thus our sexual functioning? How can regular sexual intimacy promote better sleep? Some people fall asleep right after sex, and some don’t. Which type are you and why do you think that is? It’s not always easy to secure enough sleep! Given the importance of quality sleep for our sexual intimacy and overall health, what tips do we have to help wives get a better’s night sleep?

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about sleep?

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. – Hebrews 4:9-10

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” – Mark 6:31

In peace I will lie down and sleep,     for you alone, Lord,     make me dwell in safety. – Psalm 4:8

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Today we are exploring the term “sexual self.” Your sexual self is an unfolding aspect of who you are, woven into the fabric of your being.

What is identity and how would it relate to a sense of a wife’s sexual self? Or in other words, how does your sexual self fit into the whole of who you are as a woman? What affects how comfortable you are with accessing this part of yourself? How do we integrate biblical principles into our sexual selves? What can a wife do to discover or rediscover her sexual self?

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about your sexual self?

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalm 139:13-14 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:27

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Today we’re going to talk about what prioritizing sex means, what it doesn’t mean, what gets in the way of it, and what it might look like in the lives and marriages of busy women.

What does it mean to prioritize sex? And is that the phrase you think we should use, or should it be something broader – like prioritize sex and intimacy? And why is it important? Or is it important? On the flip side, what doesn’t it mean to prioritize sex? It’s fairly typical for sex to become less of a priority as a couple moves beyond the early years of marriage. When that happens, what’s typically going on? What are some of the things that get in the way of making sex a priority? What might “making sex a priority” look like in the marriages of busy wives and moms? And what are some of the things they can do to make that a reality in their lives and marriages?

Click here to visit Faithful Counseling and learn about getting matched to an licensed online counselor who is also a practicing Christian.

What does God have to say about prioritizing sex?

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:7-9

For many years, there were very few resources for Christians who wanted to learn how to have a healthy sex life. Now Christians can find more and more books, courses, and videos to help them. It's great to have choices, but sometimes it's hard to know whether or not a particular resource is good.

Today we're joined by Phylicia Masonheimer. She encourages women to discern God's truth and live out their faith boldly in every area of their lives—including the bedroom. We talk about why it's difficult to discern which resources are biblical and helpful, what to consider when evaluating a resource, and whether to use a secular resource and then share a few recommendations.

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From the Bible

Ephesians 5 NIV

What does God have to say about evaluating resources? The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise. – Psalm 111:10

In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. – Hebrews 5:12-14 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. – Colossians 2:8 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. – James 1:5 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. – James 3:17-18 Teach me, Lord, the way of your decrees,  that I may follow it to the end. Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law  and obey it with all my heart. Direct me in the path of your commands,  for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statutes  and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things;  preserve my life according to your word. – Psalm 119:33-37

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

About this episode

The marriage relationship overall can impact a wife’s sexual interest. Having a good marriage with intimacy in many areas can make it easier to want and enjoy sex. In this episode, we’re going to talk about things you can do in the area of nonsexual intimacy that can have a positive impact on your sex life.

What does God have to say about improving your marital relationship?

Two are better than one,     because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down,     one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls     and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.     But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered,     two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

In this episode, we answer a few of your questions.

“What are other ways to relax and enjoy my husband guilt free?” “I don't like feeling like it’s just sex.... Do I have a block? Was I wrong to be upset? How do I get myself [past] feeling like it's cold and not love?” “I was hoping you could share some wisdom of what it's like moving in with your husband for the first time… what to expect…how to talk to one another about our soon to be sex life, and tips for a soon to be pastor's wife.” “What are some positive resources on sex and marriage that are geared toward men? I have been able to find good resources for myself, but my fiancé has not."

If you want to submit a question for a future episode, click on Ask a Question in the menu on our website and submit your query.

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From the Bible

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.'" 1 Peter 5:5 (NIV)

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Take the Survey

As mentioned in the episode, Chris Taylor of Honeycomb & Spice is doing a survey on chronic illness and sex. We'd appreciate you taking the survey, so that she can address this subject well.

Click the link: https://tinyurl.com/chronic-survey

Or scan the QR code:

About the Episode How often should a married couple have sex? You might think this would be an easy question to answer, but we think it’s going to take a whole episode.

How do seasons of life affect the frequency of lovemaking, and what range of frequency do you think is appropriate for each season? What other factors can affect frequency? What does research say about consistent sexual intimacy? How should you and your husband negotiate frequency?

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Click here to get the free recipe for a personal lubricant/sensual massage oil.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about the frequency of sex?

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. - 1 Corinthians 7:5

If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. - Deuteronomy 24:5

Resources

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titivate (v). – to make a person or thing neater or more attractive (Merriam-Webster).

To titivate is to make small enhancing changes or to make oneself look attractive. For some women, titivation is a daily habit. For others of us, it takes intention to remember to do it now and then.

Let’s start by talking about why wives might titivate in the first place. What are some reasons we might let titivation go? How does titivation spill over into our sex lives? What are some things women can do to enhance their appearance?

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about titivating?

...she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics." - Esther 2:12 (and see Esther 2:1-18)

...as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. - Isaiah 61.10

Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. - 1 Peter 3:3-4 (CSB)

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

There are a lot of resources about sex now, some great and some terrible. But often, resources have some important truths, some debatable points, and some myths. Today we want to talk about what really matters—the foundational points we want wives to know about sex.

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From the Bible

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com.

Sex therapist and educator Joyce Penner joins us to talk about learning to enjoy sex more. Why do some women have a hard time seeing sexual intimacy as a gift? And what can these women do to pursue the enjoyment of sex with their husbands?

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From the Bible

What does God have to say that can help us better enjoy sex?

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, NIV

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. – Song of Songs 7:10

The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, The Message

Resources

The resources below include affiliate links that earn us a small commission when you use the link to make a purchase.

Nurture Your Non-Sexual Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife You're Not Kissing Enough | Hot, Holy & Humorous Why Kissing Is So Intimate for Her - Knowing Her Sexually The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex Restoring the Pleasure Formula for Intimacy - free download from Joyce Penner

Resources for Adult Children of Alcoholics: Focus on the Family Only You Forever Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs Love and Life Toolbox Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: Friel Ph.D., John C., Friel M.A., Linda D. (older book, but still a good resource)

You can find more resources at Joyce's website, Passionate Commitment.

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Today is our 100th Episode! On this special episode, we share what we do when we're not talking about sex, what ministry projects we're working on, and nearly half of a 100 sex tips list we ask our listeners help us complete.

Infinitemoon.com

What does God have to say about our ministry (and yours)?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Click here for our BINGO card!

About this episode

Today we’re talking about Valentine’s Day. It’s coming up soon, and women feel all kinds of different things about it. Some women love it, some hate it, and some feel kind of ambivalent about it. And it plays out differently in different marriages. So, we talk about it and come up with some ideas for making it fun and romantic for all kinds of couples and marriages.

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What does God have to say about Valentine’s Day? (Not much, but a whole lot about love.)

Do everything in love. – 1 Corinthians 16:14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. – Colossians 3:14 We love because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

With people staying home more than ever these days, monotony is overwhelming our lives. However, there is one area of your life than can certainly move from monotonous to mind-blowing with just a few simple changes.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are talking about boredom in the bedroom and what can be done to generate more passion in your experience.

What can lead to boredom in the bedroom? What can a wife do to move toward more energy, excitement, interest, and pleasure in the bedroom? What is boredom possibly masking? What are some possible solutions if there are deeper issues?

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about boredom in the bedroom?

There the mandrakes give off their fragrance,     and the finest fruits are at our door, new delights as well as old,     which I have saved for you, my lover. Song of Songs 7:13

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Sometimes we need to hit the reset button with sexual intimacy. Maybe it’s not been going well lately. Maybe it’s never been good in your marriage. Maybe you only recently realized how important sexual intimacy is to your relationship. How can you start over or at least get a fresh start in some part of sex that hasn’t been ideal?

Why do many wives feel they need a fresh start with the sex in their marriage? How can we begin to set a new tone or build new habits for sexual intimacy? What are some obstacles wives might face when they try to do something different? What are the long-term benefits of getting that fresh start? Are there any promises from God we can rely on as we try to reset our sex life?

What does God have to say about fresh starts?

For I am the Lord your God     who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;     I will help you. - Isaiah 41:13 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. - Isaiah 43:19 “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—     the great locust and the young locust,     the other locusts and the locust swarm[a]— my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,     and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,     who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed. - Joel 2:25-26 Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” - Luke 18:27 They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer. - Psalm 78:35

Bonny, Chris, Gaye, and J have a list of gifts that can help you learn, love, and laugh in your marriage!

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about gift-giving?

A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. - Proverbs 18:16 On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. - Matthew 2:1

Gift List

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LEARN

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Check out our 2019 list in Episode 72: The Ultimate Sexy Gift Guide.

Just for Our Listeners

It's Christmas Eve, and Grace still hasn't seen a present under the Christmas tree from her husband. When Todd announces there is no present coming, she feels snubbed, not realizing that he's got a different surprise planned. But is his gift what she really wants? Or even what she needs?

Inspirational Short Story, 4000 words. FREE through January 1, 2021, with coupon code WIVES

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Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

About this episode

Thanks for joining us at Sex Chat for Christian Wives. Today we’re going to talk about something that affects more than 264 million people around the world–depression.

People sometimes hear the word “depression” and think it just means that someone is sad a lot or that they are weak. So let’s start by talking about what depression is—and maybe what it is not. What kind of impact does depression have on our sex lives? How can our faith help us when depression affects our marriage? What can we do to address depression or soften the impact it has on our marriage and sex life?

Anxiety weighs down the heart,     but a kind word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Depression (major depressive disorder) – Mayo ClinicIs Depression Impacting Your Sexual Intimacy? – Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: Sex and Antidepressants – Hot, Holy & HumorousIs Seasonal Depression Impacting Your Marriage? – Hot, Holy & Humorous Is the Oral Contraceptive Pill Associated with Depression?- A Synopsis of The Impact of OC Pills on Mood – Psych Scene Hub Sexual Intimacy and Depression – The Forgiven Wife

And don’t forget…

We answer listener questions, specifically:

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From the Bible

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. - Philippians 2:3-4

Resources

Sex Positions for Women with a Tilted Uterus - Christian Friendly Sex Positions A Key to Understanding Orgasm: Deep Spots - OysterBed7Can Sex Help Your Spouse’s Work Stress? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Why Stress Affects Sex And What To Do About It - OysterBed75 Times of Day to Make Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous How Do You Manage Sex When Your Schedules Are Different? - The Forgiven Wife Is Porn Use an Addiction (and Does It Even Matter)? - The Forgiven Wife Episode 38: A Conversation About Porn (Part 1)Episode 39: A Conversation About Porn (Part 2)| Episode 40: Healing after Porn Discovery Samson SocietyCovenant Eyes Internet Filtering Software (affiliate link) Celebrate RecoveryStrong Wives Rise - Facebook Group (run by Bonny Burns)"First Steps To Healing From Porn Discovery by Bonny Burns" - part of the Awesome Marriage Online Affair Recovery Course

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Today, we have special guest Ngina Otiende of Intentional Today, and we're talking about...

Newlywed Set Prepared Especially for Our Listeners

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Carefree Organics was established in 2013 by a boy mama of 3 to provide clean products for all concerned mothers and entire families. In starting small, the company has gone from just 5 basic products to high-end skincare, a baby/spa line, hair care, new cosmetics, supplements, and even mood-enhancing aromatherapy. There is truly something for everyone. Check out carefreeorganics.com and use coupon code FCW20 for 20% off one purchase. Use FCW20 for 20% off your purchase.

"...Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." ~ 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Episode 32: Advice For Our Newlywed Selves Free Access To "Subscriber Only" Resources - Ngina Otiende How To Navigate Conflict In Marriage - Ngina Otiende What Newlyweds Should Know About Married Sex - Bonny's OysterBed7 A Letter To My Newlywed Self (Age 20) - Bonny's OysterBed7 A Letter to My Newlywed Self: Age 25 - Hot, Holy & HumorousWhat I Wish I’d Known Before the Wedding Night - Hot, Holy & Humorous Wedding Tips for Bride - Hot, Holy & Humorous store item

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

We are so privileged today to have Shaunti Feldhahn—social researcher, bestselling author, and popular speaker—pulling up a chair at our virtual kitchen table.

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Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Today we’re talking about sensuality and how wives can feel more sensual. What does it mean to feel sensual? Why can it be difficult, and why does it matter? And what can you do to feel more sensual yourself?

Sensual Set Prepared Especially for Our Listeners

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about sensuality? So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 8:15)

How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice! (Song of Songs 4:10)

And the rest of Song of Songs!

Resources

Orgasm Webinar on October 15

All 3 Webinars

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

It’s a common scenario we hear: She wants him to touch her body in various places, and he wants to focus on the “good bits.” So today, we’re going to talk about where you’d like to be touched, besides your special lady-parts, and how you can get your husband to spend more time and attention there.

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about touching and kissing her body? She Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. Song of Songs 1:2 His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me. Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3 A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Proverbs 5:19

Resources

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Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

We want to encourage you to just think of one thing you could do to improve your sex life. To give you some ideas, we're each going to share one thing we did to improve our sex life. Sponsor

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about our tips? For his unfailing love toward those who fear him     is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us     as the east is from the west. Psalm 103:11-12 (NLT) I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Song of Songs 7:10

Resources

Click to Learn More!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

About this episode

There is some really bad sex advice out there, most of it because the people giving the advice don’t know any better themselves. Today we’re sharing with you the worst sex advice we’ve personally received, but also the best sex advice we’ve received.

Okay, ladies, what is the worst sex tip you have gotten either from a resource or an individual? Taking a positive perspective, how can we correct the record? That is, how should each of us and women out there respond when we encounter bad advice? What is the best sex tip you’ve ever gotten from some resource or someone?

What does God have to say about receiving advice?

Our podcast is hosted by four friends talking biblically and authentically about sexual intimacy. How can you find your own friend group to talk with about sex? We've got some tips!

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From the Bible Friends We rejoice and delight in you; we will praise your love more than wine. Song of Songs 1:4

The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray. Proverbs 12:26 (NLT)

Resources

Sign up for our next webinar!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com.

Today we’re talking about making space in your life for sex. And whether you’re listening to this in the time of COVID, when we’re recording it, or at a time when things are more back to normal, you probably have some sense of what it means to make space (or lack space) in your life for sex, intimacy, and just in general enjoying your marriage.

I want to know more!

What does God have to say about making space for sex in your marriage?

Song of Songs 7:11 - Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages.

About This Episode

Is it time to expand your sexual position repertoire? We discuss going beyond "missionary" to include other positions, with a dose of reality on what's do-able and how to introduce new positions into your marriage.

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From the Bible

"His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me." Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3 The mandrakes give off a fragrance, and at our doors is every delicacy, both new and old. I have treasured them up for you, my love. Song of Songs 7:13 (CSB)

Resources

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Self-care is important—and it helps our sexual interest too! In this episode we talk about why and share some tips.

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“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” Mark 2:27

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:16

5 Ways to Treat Yourself Like a Friend – CalmHealthySexy

Silence the Lies – The Forgiven Wife

New Day, New Way – It’s Never too Late to Start Something New – CalmHealthySexy

Episode 80: Intimacy During Lockdown

Self-Bullying: What to do when the bully is YOU! (affiliate link)

5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself in a Crisis – CalmHealthySexy

We’re recording this at a time when many people are still living with some form of stay-at-home orders. Others can go out, but aren’t sure if it’s safe. And many others are facing financial difficulties, such as job loss, reduced work hours, or uncertainty about the future of their job or business. All of those things make the idea of “date night” seem rather daunting.

But even beyond the current crisis, lots of couples face challenges to enjoying a regular “date night.” Money may be tight, they may not have childcare, or they may be too tired to figure out what to do.

So today we’re going to talk about date nights for challenging times, whatever your challenge may be. These are simply ways to plan some fun with your spouse – at home or in your community –  that don’t cost a lot of money and don’t take a lot of time and energy.

Song of Songs 7:11-13 Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved.

Date Night Questions - The Romantic Vineyard Alphabet Dates - The Romantic Vineyard Date Night, Anywhere - The Forgiven Wife Dating Your Spouse in a Crisis – LoveHopeAdventure How to Have a Movie Date in Your Car – LoveHopeAdventure 4 Reasons to Add a “Parents’ Night” to Your Family’s Schedule - CalmHealthySexy 25 Ways to Have Fun with Your Husband – CalmHealthySexy 16 Fun and Healthy Dates for Married Couples – CalmHealthySexy Variety and Libido - OysterBed7 Friendship 101 - OysterBed7 26 2-Player Board Games for Couples - To Love Honor & VacuumAre You Dating Your Spouse Enough? - Hot, Holy & HumorousMovies to Inspire Romance - Hot, Holy & Humorous20 Date Nights You Can Do at Home (book review) - Hot, Holy & Humorous Make Date Night a Marriage Adventure (book review- Hot, Holy & Humorous

Today, we are answering some of your questions.

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This episode was also sponsored in part by Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples!

From the Bible

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 Resources

Visit our website at forchristianwives.com

About this episode

We’re wingin’ it! Hang out with us as we ramble about life during a global pandemic, the reality of trying to continue intimacy despite circumstances, and where our heads and hearts are right now. Maybe you can relate.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18 (NIV) “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV) The Book of Psalms

Squirrels Sports Announcer doing Real-life Commentary Melt Couples Massage Master Class Episode 10: Tending Your GardenUSA Today Mask Pattern (the one J used) No Sew Face MaskFace Mask from Bra

We're recording this during the Coronavirus global pandemic, but today we’re focusing on the positive with some practical tips for fostering intimacy during lockdown.

What aspects of marital intimacy are most important during this tough time? How can sex be part of maintaining a positive attitude Knowing the challenges various couples are facing, what tips do you have for nurturing intimacy during lockdown? What scripture gives you hope and comfort right now?

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From the Bible

"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." – Psalm 118:24 (ESV) When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. – Isaiah 43:2-3 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" – Matthew 6:25-27 Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God. – Psalm 146:3,5 Resources

5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself in a Crisis - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.The Joy of Earbuds - The Forgiven Wife What Will the Kids Think? The Forgiven Wife

As we record this, we are in the midst of a global pandemic. Life feels far from normal.

Besides pandemics, we all live through very difficult experiences from time to time. Natural disasters, deaths, illnesses, and family crises can pull the rug out from under us.

In this episode, we share some ideas to help you maintain sexual intimacy when life goes topsy-turvy.

What does God have to say about [insert topic]?

"Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her" (2 Samuel 12:24a). "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).

Challenging Times? Some Tips to Keep Up Marital Intimacy! - J's newsletterLet's Address These Marriage Struggles You May Have Right Now - J's newsletter 4 Ways Sex Can Comfort in Crisis or Grief - Hot, Holy & HumorousHow Sex Can Help Us Cope - Hot, Holy & HumorousYour Wife's Anxiety - KHS Ministry 8 Ways to Stay Intimate Even When Life Gets in the Way of Sex - The Forgiven Wife Nurture Your Non-Sexual Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife Note: J's son was tested for Coronavirus, and the test was negative. Her husband's insulin issues got resolved as well. Let's keep praying for others who are impacted or at risk.

Today, we are discussing breasts and how they can impact your sexuality.  Song of Solomon calls them twin fawns of a gazelle and clusters of fruit.  Whether your twins are gazelles, grapes, or grapefruit, we are going to delve into a discussion about the female breast.

What are some of the names used for breasts through the years? We can’t talk about breasts without first talking about breast feeding.  How can nursing affect a wife’s sexual intimacy? What are some characteristics of healthy breasts and what are some warning signs that you may need to go to the doctor? How breasts can impact a wife's experience of sexuality in the bedroom?

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Click to Purchase 2020 Webinar(s).

Also sponsored by KHS Ministry (Knowing Her Sexually) for husbands.

From the Bible

"Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle" (Song of Solomon 7:3).

"Your stature is like that of a palm, and your breasts are like clusters of fruit.  I said, 'I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.'  May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine..." (Song of Solomon 7:7-8).

Resources

3 Ways for a Young Mom to Feel More Sensual - Bonny's OysterBed7 Ta-Ta Touch - Bonny's OysterBed7 A&D Cream - Amazon (affiliate link) Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream (affiliate link)Bag Balm - Amazon (affiliate link) 101 Words for Your Private Parts (with 25 words for breasts) - Hot, Holy & HumorousCheck Out Those Breasts - Hot, Holy & HumorousQ&A with J: “How Do You Feel about Your Implants Now?” He Can’t Really Be Happy with My Body - Guest Post by J. Parker on The Forgiven Wife A Wife's Breasts Have History - The Forgiven Wife

Today we are discussing how to ask for what you want, in marriage overall, and more specifically in the bedroom. This is something many women struggle to do and many women do not even know if they are supposed to ask.

The Song of Solomon

Speak Up - The Forgiven Wife Learn What You Like in Bed - The Forgiven Wife Sock Monkey Kama Sutra book (affiliate link) Cookie Sutra book (affiliate link) Sharpie markers (affiliate link) Q&A with J: How Do I Express What I Want in Bed? - Hot, Holy & Humorous 101 Words for Your Private Parts (But No Curse Words) - Hot, Holy & Humorous Understanding Her Sex Drive Webinar - replay for only $5 Ravel's Bolero: Version 1 (10 min) and Version 2 (13.5 min)