How To!

On this episode of How To!: co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace sit down to talk about his new memoir, Another Word for Love. In the book, Carvell’s examination of his own journey becomes a reflection on how so many of us spend our lives trying to become whole again. He and Courtney discuss his approach to writing and interviewing, what it means to be seen as good (versus actually being good), and why it’s often so hard to forgive yourself. If you liked this episode check out: How To Find Genuine Happiness Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A few years ago, Leah was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Her condition has posed many serious challenges, including how to start and maintain friendships. She wants to build a rich social life, but her symptoms—and the stigmas surrounding mental health—often get in the way. When Leah does meet a new person, she struggles with how (and when) to talk about her diagnosis and feels intense pressure to be “the perfect friend.” On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace brings on psychotherapist Dr. Aleksandra Rayska for a frank conversation about managing expectations, celebrating new achievements, and just going easy on yourself. If you liked this episode check out: How to Navigate Adult Autism. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Doing the work” is a phrase often heard when talking about racial justice. We heard it a lot after the death of George Floyd in 2020. And we need to continue talking about it—but there’s an important aspect of “the work” that’s been missing. On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin brings in Garrett Bucks, author of The Right Kind of White and founder of The Barnraisers Project, to help Elizabeth Doerr talk to fellow white parents about the implications of opting out of their kids’ public school. If you liked this episode check out: “How To Fight Racism in Your Town” CAST YOUR VOTE FOR HOW TO! IN THE 2024 WEBBY AWARDS! https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2024/podcasts/shows/advice-how-to Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mia is a professional violinist. She’s played in symphonies. She’s played in improv groups. She’s played as a form of personal exploration. But now she’s taking on a big, conceptual project that may have nothing to do with music. Instead, she wants to create a piece rooted in connection. The only problem? She doesn’t know what she wants to create. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace brings in storyteller extraordinaire Michaela Leslie-Rule. Michaela talks Mia through the process of bringing a potentially overwhelming idea to life. Check out Michaela’s work with Spiritual Technologies Project, the group we mention in the episode.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Put Your Town on the Map or How To Be an Artist and Not Starve.  CAST YOUR VOTE FOR HOW TO! IN THE 2024 WEBBY AWARDS: https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2024/podcasts/shows/advice-how-to Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last week we learned about using the four different styles of humor to your advantage, and who makes a good target for a joke. But what if you read the room wrong and absolutely bomb? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we resume our conversation with Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Michael Terry, the most hilarious hedge fund guy we’ve ever met. They swap stories about office jokes that fell flat, how to navigate a suddenly tense situation and what to do if your humor accidentally offends someone (especially your boss).  If you liked this episode, check out “How To Be Funny” with comedian Gary Gulman.  If you want to discover your own humor style, take the test on Naomi and Jennifer’s website.  Do you have a joke that killed at the office, or totally bombed? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forgetfulness. Repetitiveness. Confusion. Dementia is a long, painful road for both the person living with it, caregivers, and their additional loved ones. Mara’s mom just received her diagnosis and Mara is wondering what is next for their family. She turned to our host Courtney Martin for guidance—since Courtney is going through the same thing with her father.  On this episode of How To!: Courtney and Mara are joined by Tami Anastasia, author of Essential Strategies for the Dementia Caregiver. As a dementia consultant, Tami helps families support each other and find the beautiful moments in this painful journey.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Make Aging Easier for Everyone Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shannon is set to become an ordained minister—but she has always struggled with public speaking. Here’s the thing: She’s fine in front of large gatherings. In smaller gatherings, however, she mentally “freezes up” and rambles until she regains her train of thought. As Shannon prepares to start interacting with a congregation, Courtney Martin sits her down with former How To! host Charles Duhigg, author of Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. Charles gives Shannon the tools to understand others and be understood herself.   If you liked this episode check out: How To Speak Up So Others Listen Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Patti retired a few months ago, everyone told her she would love the freedom and flexibility that came with leaving the workforce. Not so. The transition has left Patti grieving the loss of her routine and sense of purpose—and she’s wondering how to find fulfillment in life’s (gulp!) third act. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin welcomes Brad Stulberg, author of Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing—Including You. Brad helps Patti rethink this massive transformation and emerge from it stronger.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Start Over at 60. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our series about friendship ends with a look at, well, how friendships end. Alice and Grace connected when their kids started dating. They became fast friends whose family lives were intertwined—in a good way. They even joked that they might end up raising grandchildren together. When the kids broke up, Alice and Grace broke apart, too. Now, Alice is wondering whether she should fight for her cherished relationship or just move on. On today’s episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Carissa Potter, an author and artist who founded People I’ve Loved and hosts the podcast Bad at Keeping Secrets.  Miss last week’s episode? Learn how to evolve your friendships. If you’re enjoying this series, check out our other friendship episodes: How To Find Your People How To Make Friends as an Adult How To Make Friends… Like a Man How To Talk to Strangers How To Show Up For a Friend With Cancer Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In part two of our series on friendship, we’re looking at how to revitalize a relationship that began in a previous phase of life.  Michelle and Blair became fast friends in grad school. That bond survived graduation, marriages, and even a cross-country move. They now live just a short drive from one another—but things have never felt so distant. Michelle wants to know how to evolve their friendship to be more compatible with the present day. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin brings on Rhaina Cohen, author of The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center. Rhaina will help Michelle—and all of us—prepare for a daunting conversation. Miss last week’s episode? Learn how to expand your horizons with new, cross-generational friendships. If you’re enjoying this series, check out our other friendship episodes: How To Find Your People How To Make Friends as an Adult How To Make Friends… Like a Man How To Talk to Strangers How To Show Up For a Friend With Cancer Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love typically reigns in February. But, here at How To!, we are giving friendship its due. For the next three episodes, we’re going to teach you how to find friends in surprising places, how to grow and change in your friendship during life transitions, and even how to recover from a friendship breakup.  So today we’re starting with a potential cure for our epidemic of loneliness: intergenerational friendships. Emily is in her early 20s and has been rethinking who she considers to be potential friends. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Marci Alboher, a friend and VP at CoGenerate, an organization that brings generations together. She’s got some amazing tips for finding connections across ages.  Make sure to tune in next week to learn how to evolve your friendship. In the meantime, check out:  How To Find Your People How To Make Friends as an Adult How To Make Friends… Like a Man How To Talk to Strangers How To Show Up For a Friend With Cancer Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dry January has come and gone, but the conversation about alcohol—and rethinking our relationship with it—is still very much with us. This week’s listener, Natalie, wants to move past the abundance vs. abstinence debate and talk about a third option: thoughtful moderation. In this episode, Courtney Martin brings on journalist Rosamund Dean, author of Mindful Drinking: How Cutting Down Can Change Your Life and Well, Well, Well, a Substack about living better, for longer. She shares how she found moderation through mindfulness—and how you can too.  If you or someone you know is struggling with excessive drinking, consider contacting SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP. You can also find a local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting by visiting aa.org. If you liked this episode, check out: How To Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer and our producer is Rosemary Belson.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Travel can be thrilling, relaxing, even life-changing. But planning for your big trip? Not so much. There are so many unknowns: Where to go? When is the best time? How much do you want to spend? In this special episode of How To!, founding host Charles Duhigg brings in Brady Binstadt, owner and CEO of the adventure travel company Geographic Expeditions. Brady explains how to pick the right destination, when to splurge, and how to make sure everyone will have an amazing time.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Live Anywhere in the World Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer and our producer is Rosemary Belson.  If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re constantly getting bombarded with messages about our bodies: They’re too big. They’re too small. They’re not muscular enough, not curvy enough, and so on and so on. Rebecca has lived in a bigger body all her life and she wants the messaging to stop. She’s done all the things—followed plus-size influencers, deemphasized weight from her health goals, tried to rewire how she thinks about weight. But it’s just not working. In this episode, Carvell Wallace brings in Ronald Young Jr., host of Weight For It. Ronald challenges the notion that we need to love our bodies and helps Rebecca navigate away from stigmatized “fixes” and toward a place of acceptance.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Eat Whatever You Want and How To Love Your Face. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer and our producer is Rosemary Belson. Special thanks to Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Andrew snores so badly that his cats won’t sleep in the same room as him. He’s desperate to sleep better at night, and breathe more easily during the day. On this episode of How To!, we bring on James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, to share the history of why we breathe the way we do. Turns out being a “mouth-breather” is more than just an insult, it’s harmful to our health. James gives Andrew some nasal breathing exercises to improve his snoring, anxiety, and overall wellness. If you liked this episode, check out “How To Sleep.” Do you have a problem you can’t get out of your head? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rachael Allen, and Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Small talk has a bad reputation. It’s boring, shallow, and awkward. Who really wants to talk about the weather, again? But, when done right, it can be a cornerstone of connection. In this episode, Carvell Wallace is joined by Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting. Susan is going to help our listener, Bee, navigate the uncomfortable small talk that she endures everyday at school pickup. Along the way, we’ll learn what questions to have in our back pocket, how to turn small talk into big talk, and even how to extract ourselves from conversations that are going on too long.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Talk to Strangers and How To Make Humor Your Superpower Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer and our producer is Rosemary Belson.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes reading our news feeds can feel like getting hit by a semi-truck of devastating information, without really knowing how to respond. We can’t always tune the world out, which means we need to figure out how to be an empathetic person within the chaos. In this episode, Courtney Martin is joined by public theologian and best-selling author, Nadia Bolz-Weber, as well as artist and activist, Jen Bloomer. Together they explore what it means to actually respond to tragedy and injustice.   LINKS: Jen Bloomer’s artwork Valerie Kaur’s book See No Strangers If you liked this episode, check out: How To Have a Healthier News Diet: Part 1 and Part 2.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer and our producer is Rosemary Belson.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When he’s not working on How To! or coaching his daughter’s basketball team, our producer Derek John loves to play in pickup games with friends. But a serious on-court injury has kept him on the sidelines for months. Now, as he prepares to return to the sport he loves, Derek is seeking tips on how to prolong his playing days while avoiding another injury. In this episode, author Jeff Bercovici joins Carvell Wallace and Derek to share insights from his book, Play On: The New Science of Elite Performance at Any Age.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Trick Your Brain Into Running Longer.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer and our producer is Rosemary Belson. This episode was produced by Kevin Bendis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonny is a 26 year-old bachelor whose cooking often leads to heartache (and for one ex-girlfriend, a stomach ache). Jonny admits he’s a klutz in the kitchen, so we hooked him up with Sam Sifton, cookbook raconteur and head of the New York Times’s Cooking section. In this episode of How To! we see if we can teach our love-lorn Millennial to cook one perfect meal. Is romantic bliss just a well-browned chicken thigh away? (Recipe included!) Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we learned to love our faces, started reading again, aced an interview, dealt with difficult parents, said goodbye to our pets, cooked chaotically, moved to a new country, navigated adult autism, and breathed like Navy SEALs. On this episode, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin are joined by former host Amanda Ripley. They break down their favorite advice of the year and share some surprising updates from folks who were on the show.  Did we forget to mention your favorite advice of the year? Let us know with a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan enlisted in the Army in 2003 during the early phase of the U.S. wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. He just retired after 20 years of service—and is adjusting to myriad challenges of civilian life while also managing PTSD, ADHD and new sobriety. On this episode of How To!, Bob Beard of Arizona State University’s Center for Science and the Imagination joins us to talk about a new program that’s helping veterans like Dan plan for the distant future using science fiction, conceptual art, and strategies employed by Fortune 500 companies. If you liked this episode, check out How To Breathe Like a Navy SEAL.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you haven’t heard of ChatGPT, chances are you will soon. Maybe you’ve tried casually playing with the artificial intelligent chatbot. Maybe you’ve tried avoiding it. Or maybe ChatGPT is the new host of this podcast and you haven’t realized it yet. Either way, we’re on the precipice of a new, powerful technology. On this episode of How To!, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Amanda Ripley join forces to talk through all things artificial intelligence. They bring on Kevin Roose, tech columnist for the New York Times and co-host of the Times’ podcast, Hard Fork. He will explain how A.I. chatbots work, how to use them for good, how they may be used for, well, not so good, and what you should do if it starts hitting on you.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game.” Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Allison is on the hunt for her next hobby. One that’s satisfying. One that she can stick with. One that will fit into her family’s very busy schedule. Except…maybe she’s thinking about that last part all wrong. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space. Eve argues that drawing—and defending—boundaries for individual, creative pursuits is necessary for living a fulfilled life. She’ll share how to balance domestic labor in order to carve out creative space and pick something that makes your soul sing.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Stop “Having It All” (Before You End Up With Nothing) Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A parent’s main job is to protect. But what happens when your parent doesn’t protect you? What happens when they not only let bad things happen to you, but they doubt and dismiss you when you ask them for help? Our listener, Haylie, decided to go no-contact with her father after multiple attempts to reconcile their relationship. Now she wants to know how to grieve the death of the relationship. On this episode of How To!, Patrick Teahan, licensed clinical social worker and childhood trauma therapist, joins us to explain why cutting off a parent is so difficult, why we grieve these relationships, and how to start healing.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Walk Away from an Impossible Parent Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Jabari Butler.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On a recent phone call Shannon’s mom didn’t mince words: The only way she’d vote for Joe Biden is if Jesus himself comes down and tells her to. Growing up in a conservative household, Shannon understands her parents’ support for Trump. But she no longer sees eye-to-eye with them and every time they talk about politics it turns into a fight. The result is a complete fraying of their relationship. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Bill Doherty, professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota, and co-founder of the non-profit Braver Angels, to help Shannon and her parents navigate this heated election season. The most important thing to remember, Bill says, is that you can’t change your parents’ minds. But you can still save your relationship by recognizing shared values and treating each other as people, not political opponents. If you liked this episode, check out “How To Get a Stubborn Parent to Listen.” Do you have a relationship you’d like to mend? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hot flashes, fatigue, and vaginal dryness were some of Katie’s first clues that her body was changing. Half the population will experience menopause, yet misinformation still abounds—with doctors ill-prepared to talk to patients about this major life transition. On this episode of How To!, journalist Susan Dominus joins us to share the knowledge she gained from working on her viral magazine piece, “Women Have Been Misled About Menopause.” She explains why women’s pain has been ignored for so long, where to look for information, and how to connect with others during this confusing phase of life.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Make Aging Easier for Everyone. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Resources mentioned:  “If Men Could Menstruate” by Gloria Steinem What Fresh Hell Is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You by Heather Corinna The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Dr. Jen Gunter Hot Flash Sonnets by Moira Egan Alloy Midi How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Jabari Butler. By the way, Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds! Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To celebrate their third wedding anniversary, Anjali and Rahul are each selecting a surprise activity to do together. This happy couple loves spontaneity, so they’re concerned about someday growing bored in their relationship. They’re also feeling pressure to mark the traditional milestones of marriage, including having kids. On this episode of How To!, authors Caryl and Jay Casbon join us to share the wisdom they gained from interviewing other married couples for their book Side by Side. The Casbons draw upon their own 22-year marriage to urge Anjali and Rahul to face conflict with openness and focus on individual “inner work”—in order to grow together.  Learn more about Caryl and Jay Casbon here. If you liked this episode, check out an episode that Anjali loved: How To Decide Whether to Have a Baby with Wild author Cheryl Strayed.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Jabari Butler.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our listener Abdullah has reached a plateau. A mid-career manager at a large electronics engineering corporation, he feels intellectually unstimulated. Even though Abdullah has a stable job with seniority, he dreams of going back to school and pursuing his true passion: economics. But with a family to support, should Abdullah make a risky leap? On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace is joined by Freakonomics co-author and University of Chicago economist Steven Levitt. Well-known for out-of-the-box thinking, Levitt shares surprising tips (including a simple coin flip strategy) that can help anyone on the edge of a huge decision. If you liked this episode, check out: How To Know When to Quit Your Job Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We might invite you on the show! Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Kevin Bendis, Derek John, Joel Meyer, and Rosemary Belson. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kids generate so…much…stuff. A lot of it is memorable. Videos of their first words? So cute. Colorful drawings that progressively get better? Masterpieces. Trophies, stuffies, books? All valuable. The problem: There’s no way to keep everything. So how do you figure out what to cherish and what to toss? On this episode of How To!, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin bring in Nonnahs Driskill, professional organizer and founder of Get Organized Already. She has lots of insight into why we value certain items, what it means to have an organizing mindset, and how to archive your child’s life in a way that works for you.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Be a Lazy Genius and How To Style Your Home Like a Pro.  Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We might invite you on the show! Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Joel Meyer, and Rosemary Belson. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The beginning of the school year is a gauntlet for Andrea, who coaches teachers for a living. She needs to get to know the 52 educators she’ll work with in the coming months. All of them are new faces to her. Which means she’s starting from scratch. Time is tight, so Andrea is wondering how to make every interaction count. On this episode of How To!, co-host Courtney Martin brings in Marlon Styles, who has been in Andrea’s shoes. As an educator and motivational speaker, Marlon is a pro at making connections. His wisdom will resonate with anyone who is looking to build trust, work together on goals, and connect in a more meaningful way with your colleagues.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Help Teachers Thrive.  Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We might invite you on the show! Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Joel Meyer, Rosemary Belson, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Camila is torn. She wants a partner. Someone who is ambitious. Someone who is financially secure. Someone who checks in with her at the end of the day. But most of her dates have turned out to be duds and she’s starting to think she’ll never find real romance. Should she keep searching for ‘the one,’ or should she focus on being happy on her own? On this episode of How To!, new co-host Courtney Martin brings in Samhita Mukhopadhyay to guide Camila. Samhita is an author and feminist. She was the executive editor of Teen Vogue and her first book was about dating. She has a ton of smart advice for understanding the narratives we have around dating, expanding where we find love, and ultimately healing our hearts.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Ditch the Apps & Actually Find a Date Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We might invite you on the show! Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Joel Meyer, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Irina and her husband are more than $100,000 in debt. They’re working to pay it off, but between monthly credit card bills, student loan payments, 401k contributions and spending on their new baby, their money is spread too thin. In this episode of How To!, Charles Duhigg bring on Rachel Cruze, a personal finance expert and author of Know Yourself, Know Your Money, to help Irina create a budget that she can actually follow. It will seem hard at first, Rachel says, but if you cut up your credit cards and pause your retirement investments, you can get out of debt much sooner. If you liked this episode, check out “How To Get That Promotion You Deserve.”  Do you have a conundrum? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Like many pet parents, Zak Rosen and his wife lived for years in a state of denial about their beloved dog, Rumi. Then they learned that Rottweilers only tend to live about eight to 12 years, and there was no denying it: Rumi is already in her twilight years. In the not-so-distant future, they’ll have to make some truly tough decisions.  On this episode of How To!, Zak seeks out advice about end-of-life pet care from Dr. Ellen LaFramboise, owner of Crossroads Veterinary Hospice, and fellow pet parent Gabby Santos, who shares how she prepared for the death of her 18-year-old miniature pinscher, Bob’i. Their conversation might change the way you think about your furry pal’s final days (and maybe even your own). Zak Rosen is the host and creator of The Best Advice Show, and co-host of Slate’s parenting podcast Mom and Dad Are Fighting.  If you liked this episode, check out “How To Get Your Dog To Stop Barking (Without Barking Back).” Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We might invite you on the show! Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Zak Rosen, Rosemary Belson, Derek John, Joel Meyer, and Merritt Jacob. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sarah is a part-time pet groomer who dreams of opening up her own business. Having worked long hours for low wages, she can’t help thinking that she could earn more money and control her schedule if she starts her own pet salon. The only problem? Sarah has no idea where to start. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings in Mae Chan to guide Sarah. Mae is a business alignment coach who helps entrepreneurs figure out their dreams and scale their businesses. Her questions for Sarah will help anyone considering a leap into self-employment think more about what they really want—and how to achieve it with minimal risk.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Advance Your Career By Quitting Your Job Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We might invite you on the show! Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Joel Meyer, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Niky just isn’t jibing with Spanish. She’s tried courses, podcasts, apps, and even private tutors in order to make a connection with Spanish speakers around Toronto, at her job, and while traveling. But years into her language-learning journey, she’s not even close to being fluent. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace introduces Niky to Luca Lampariello. A speaker of 14 languages, Luca is a teacher and the founder of the Smart Language Learning Academy. He offers up tons of insight into why we learn the way we do, making what we learn actually stick, and how to have fun along the way. If you liked this episode, check out: How To Remember Everything Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We might invite you on the show! Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Joel Meyer, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Katie was ready to graduate from college when the pandemic interrupted everything. Unceremoniously cut-off from her group of friends, she’s now in a new chapter of her life but struggling more than ever to find her people. Katie’s friendships at work feel surface-level and she’s anxious about opening up too much for fear of rejection. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings in friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson. Don’t worry about finding your next BFF, Jackson says. Instead if we focus on making deeper, more lasting human connections with those around us, genuine friendships will naturally occur. If you liked this episode, check out: How To Make Friends as an Adult Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s a family joke that Dave and his 13 year-old son are the same person. So when his son found out he is autistic, Dave realized that he, too, is on the autism spectrum. The label is a comfort—a reassurance that his personality “quirks” have an explanation. But, at the same time, it’s led to all of these questions like should he tell people? What does this change, if anything? And how does he learn to navigate a neurotypical world? On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings in journalist and podcast host, Lauren Ober. Lauren documented her own autism journey on The Loudest Girl In the World. She has lots of advice for living life as a newly diagnosed neurodivergent person.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Love Your Face Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan never really got over saying goodbye to her eldest daughter, who left for college four years ago. She knew it would be sad, but she didn’t expect to be nauseous. Now her youngest is applying to college, and she’s already dreading drop-off next fall which makes her feel like a "pathetic loser." What can Susan do to prep herself for more heartbreak and a completely empty nest? On this episode of How To!, Amanda Ripley brings on Kelly Corrigan, best-selling author and host of the podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders. She recently dropped her youngest daughter off at college, which she wrote about in an essay for the New York Times called “How to Let Go of Your Irreplaceable, Unstoppable Daughter.” She shares some hard-earned wisdom about how to handle major life transitions with grace.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Get Your Kid to Finally Grow Up” Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wanted to move to a new country? Picking up and starting over internationally can be rewarding, but also nerve-wracking. Our listener Sara has lived overseas for more than a decade, but she recently moved to Switzerland and is struggling to fit in. On this episode of How To!, founding host Charles Duhigg brings in Dr. Nassim Assefi who, amongst all of her interesting professional accomplishments, is a self-identified “global nomad.” She’s lived in over 10 countries and draws on her extensive personal experience to help Sara—and anyone thinking about moving abroad—make a smooth transition.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Uproot Your Life Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the massive Caldor fire blazed towards South Lake Tahoe in 2021, Joyce knew she had to get out. “The sky was red. It was like hell on earth,” she remembers. Her family got to safety and her house was miraculously spared. But, even now, it can be jarring to remember the fire. Climate-related extreme weather events are on the rise and another disaster is seemingly right around the corner. Especially with freakish flash floods, a scorching heatwave and wildfire smoke blanketing much of the country. On this episode of How To!, guest-host Cheyna Roth brings on Dr. Britt Wray, author of Generation Dread: Finding Purpose In an Age of Climate Crisis. Dr. Wray explains why we need to treat climate anxiety differently and how we can create resilience both internally and within our communities as we face climate change, together.  Resources Mentioned:  Climate Psychology Alliance Climate Psychiatry Alliance Good Grief Network Climate Awakening Gen Dread Substack If you liked this episode, check out: How To Save the Planet (And Still Use a Plastic Straw) Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Gwendolyn found out her friend was diagnosed with cancer, she knew she wanted to help. She just didn’t know how. Her friend lives hundreds of miles away. How can she help in a way that’s more meaningful than sending a meal and a few encouraging texts? On this episode of How To!, guest-host Courtney Martin brings on Mia Birdsong, author of the book How We Show Up. Mia went through her own cancer journey and figured out structures of support that not only helped her but made supporting easier for her friends.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Solve Your Own Medical Mystery Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every year J. and her parents fly thousands of miles, meeting in the middle for their family vacation. A vacation that often leads to shouting and tears. J. and her father have a rocky relationship. Little disagreements often lead to her dad yelling and dredging up the past. It would be easy, in theory, to cut off the relationship before it got even more toxic. But J. wants to make it work. The question is, how? On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings on Nibarna Kannathasan, a psychotherapist who has helped people navigate tricky intergenerational conflict, especially when factoring migration and differing cultural expectations. She helps J. parse what she really wants from her father and figure out a way to start down that road while protecting herself along the way.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Walk Away From an Impossible Parent. Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caregivers provide an estimated 600 billion dollars in free labor each year, according to the AARP. This week’s listener, Dani is one such caregiver. She and her partner found themselves navigating the confusing world of Medicare and Medicaid, estate planning, powers of attorney, etc. All in the hope of helping their loved ones stay healthy and comfortable until they need an end-of-life plan. This experience has her worried—who is going to look after her when the time comes? On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings on Amy Goyer, AARP’s family and caregiving expert and has quite a bit of personal experience. She cuts through the confusion on how to caregive, how to care for caregivers, and how to prepare to be cared for yourself. Because we’re all going to need it, sooner or later.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Fight With Your Parents, which is about parenting your parents.  Resources mentioned:  Caregiving Guides Livable Communities Local Resource Connections National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys Five Wishes Document Aging Life Care Association Do you have a question we can help you solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Gwen applied for unemployment during the early days of the pandemic, she never thought she’d still be waiting for her benefits years later. Despite hours on the phone, countless emails and even a court appearance, Gwen is haunted by her inability to get the money she was approved for. On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in Marina Nitze, author of Hack Your Bureaucracy. Not only does Marina help Gwen find shortcuts in her state’s unemployment system, but she has useful advice for untangling any bureaucratic nightmare.  If you liked this episode, check out: How To Fight Outrageous Medical Bills. Do you have a problem that’s keeping you up at night? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this bonus episode from our friends at the How To Be A Better Human podcast: For some of us it’s easy to lose ourselves in our work. But a lack of boundaries between your personal and work life is something mental wellness educator Gloria Chan Packer would warn you twice about. Gloria speaks about the perils of gaining your sense of self-worth from your job, discusses her experience with burnout and stress and shares empowering insights on how to shift our perspectives to create – and maintain – a healthy distance. For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The last few years have been overwhelming for Tracy. Her career was demanding and she experienced multiple deaths in her family. Recently, she changed jobs and is in a better place with her mental health, but something is still missing from her life. She’s just not sure what. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace brings on Samantha Clarke, happiness consultant, speaker, and author of Love it Or Leave It: How To Be Happy At Work. Samantha will help Tracy (and all of us) design a plan to find fulfillment.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Style Your Home Like a Pro.” Do you have a problem that’s keeping you up at night? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people have something they’re holding on to. For Lesley and Alex, that’s some old baseball and basketball cards that are collecting dust in their attic. For Kathy, that’s a house full of antiques. They’ve all been wanting to pare it down. But the big question is: how much is it worth? On this episode of How To! co-host Carvell Wallace is joined by Leila Dunbar, a veteran appraiser and frequent expert on Antiques Roadshow. Leila knows the stories and the value behind all kinds of collectibles and memorabilia. She’ll break down why we hold on to certain items and let go of others…and how to make money along the way.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Put Your Town on the Map.” Do you have a problem that’s keeping you up at night? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. This Pride Month, make an impact by helping Macy’s and The Trevor Project on their mission to fund life-saving suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amy and Sarah are high school English teachers who both want to quit the classroom, but for very different reasons. Amy has over 200 students, and tensions between teachers and parents are on the rise so she’s “beyond burned out.” Whereas Sarah has been teaching for over a decade and is itching for a change. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, co-host Amanda Ripley is joined by Daphne Gomez, a former teacher who’s now CEO of Teacher Career Coach. (She also hosts the Teacher Career Coach podcast.) Daphne has some wonderful advice for Sarah and Amy—and anyone else who has no choice but to leave a job they once loved. If you liked this episode, check out Part 1: “How To Help Teachers Thrive.” More career change episodes:  How To Bounce Back From a Layoff How To Know When to Quit Your Job How To Make the Leap to Your Dream Job How To Bounce Back From Burnout How To Advance Your Career by Quitting Your Job How To Find a New Career Before It’s Too Late Do you have a problem that’s keeping you up at night? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today there are about four million teachers in America, and nearly a third of them are thinking about leaving their jobs. It has become harder to be a teacher in the U.S. due to a lack of resources, political meddling, and teacher shortages, to name a few reasons. On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, co-host Amanda Ripley talks with two teachers, Sarah and Amy, and Daphne Gomez, a former teacher and now the founder and CEO of Teacher Career Coach. They discuss challenges in and out of the classroom as well as changes that would actually support teachers.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Succeed When Everyone’s Mad at You”  Do you have a problem that’s keeping you up at night? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. This Pride Month, make an impact by helping Macy’s and The Trevor Project on their mission to fund life-saving suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sleep is objectively worse when splitting a bed. Yet that’s the default for most couples. But that doesn’t mean sharing the covers is easy. Especially when one person is having trouble falling or staying asleep. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, co-host Carvell Wallace continues the conversation with Dr. Wendy Troxel, author of Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep. Dr. Troxel explains how couples can experiment with sleeping arrangements in a way that makes everyone feel safe, and why sleeping apart might be the key to saving your relationship.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Stop Snoring (and Breathe Easier).” Do you have a problem that’s keeping you up at night? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vanessa isn’t a night owl. Yet, often, you can find her lying awake desperately trying to turn off her brain. When her partner stays over she often resorts to the couch just to get some rest. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace brings in Dr. Wendy Troxel. She is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sleep medicine and the author of the book, Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep. On part one of a two part series—Dr. Troxel explains how insomnia disrupts sleep, how to avoid it, and why a good night’s rest starts with your environment. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Beat the Dreaded Midday Slump.” Do you have a problem that’s keeping you up at night? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

‘I’ve got bad news’ is a sentence no one wants to hear. But at some point, all of us will either have to deliver bad news or will be on the receiving end. So what can make these gut-wrenching conversations go less horribly? On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in Dr. Robert Arnold, co-founder of Vital Talk, and Maura, a social worker at a level one trauma center to talk about how to better communicate serious news. Because just about all of us can get a lot better at it — once we learn how. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Solve Your Own Medical Mystery.”  Do you have a human-sized problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Make an impact this Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund APIA Scholars. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s not easy to start a business. It’s even harder to build a successful one. Luckily, we can ask experts, entrepreneurs, and business leaders for advice. In this special Slate episode, brought to you by Bank of America, we’ve gathered the best business advice from our hit shows How To! and Working. You’ll hear helpful tips and inspiring stories from business experts like Guy Raz, The Knot co-founder Carly Roney, Everything Everywhere All at Once fight choreographer Daniel Mah, and others. Join Working host June Thomas as she seeks answers to pressing questions, like: How do I take that leap of faith and start a business? How should I handle tricky workplace dynamics? How can I be a better communicator in uncomfortable situations? This episode is sponsored by Bank of America, a trusted partner for business owners. Visit BankofAmerica.com/bankingforbusiness to learn how they can help you. Do you have business advice to share? We want to hear it! Send us a note at secretsauce@slate.com. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Emily Charash, Michele Siegel, Rosemary Belson, Cameron Drews, and Jessamine Molli, Ben Richmond, and Derek John. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this bonus episode from our friends at Slate's Dear Prudence podcast—Bomani Jones (host of HBO’s Game Theory With Bomani Jones and The Right Time With Bomani Jones) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer questions from letter writers about workplace socializing, friends who are no longer likable people, and youth football. Podcast production by Se’era Spragley Ricks and Daisy Rosario, with help from Brandon Nix. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guns are now the leading cause of death for children in America. Each tragedy can be visceral, whether it’s in your community or across the country. And it’s especially heartbreaking when your kid voices that fear directly, as our listener Allison recently experienced. On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in Melinda Wenner Moyer. Melinda is an author and science journalist with years covering gun violence and parenting issues. She’s also the author of the substack, Is My Kid the Asshole? where she shares science-based approaches to lower the possibility of gun violence, help kids feel safe, and, ultimately, change the environment.  If you liked this episode, check out: “My Kid’s Anxiety Is Giving ME Anxiety! How Do I Fix This?” Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Make an impact this Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund APIA Scholars. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you haven’t heard of ChatGPT, chances are you will soon. Maybe you’ve tried casually playing with the artificial intelligent chatbot. Maybe you’ve tried avoiding it. Or maybe ChatGPT is the new host of this podcast and you haven’t realized it yet. Either way, we’re on the precipice of a new, powerful technology. On this episode of How To!, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Amanda Ripley join forces to talk through all things artificial intelligence. They bring on Kevin Roose, tech columnist for the New York Times and co-host of the Times’ podcast, Hard Fork. He will explain how A.I. chatbots work, how to use them for good, how they may be used for, well, not so good, and what you should do if it starts hitting on you.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game.” Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate stopped reading in 2016. Since then, she’s tried to find her way back to it but something’s not clicking, and it’s left a book-shaped hole in her heart. Reading used to be something she really enjoyed, took pride in, and loved connecting with people over. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace brings in Maryanne Wolf, director of UCLA’s Center For Dyslexia, Diverse Learners, and Social Justice and author of the book, Reader, Come Home. Maryanne explains the science behind the reading brain as well as how to deeply engage with books and make reading a habit again.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Put Down Your Phone” Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John has spent years training to become a Pararescueman, a member of Air Force Special Warfare tasked with recovering downed military personnel around the globe. He has pushed himself past countless obstacles and trials, except one — holding his breath in the pool. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace is joined by free diving expert and founder of the Performance Free Dive Academy Kirk Krack. Kirk has spent decades mastering the art of lowering his heart rate and increasing his capacity to hold his breath. He has advised everyone from Navy SEALs to the cast members of Avatar 2: The Way of Water. He even helped Sigourney Weaver go without a gulp of air for over 6 minutes! Kirk gives John tips for extending his breathholds under water and explains why all of us should be more conscious of how we breathe. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Withstand Pain” Do you wonder how to push yourself past your limits? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis and Jabari Butler. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Make an impact this Earth Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to bring more parks to more people across the country. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emily is a successful career and executive coach in Ohio, who has done well finding clients through word-of-mouth. But in order to expand her business she knows she has to up her online marketing game. The only catch? She is terrified of social media. On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in Suzy Wagner, president of Brand & Buzz. Suzy has some surprising advice for creating a social media strategy that cuts through the noise while being realistic and authentic to yourself. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game.” Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On a recent workday, Pauline woke up and logged into her computer from home … only to find an email saying she was being laid off — effective immediately. She and her entire team, many of them working remotely, instantly lost access to all of their company accounts. Pauline was shell-shocked, hurt, and wondering what to do next. In the wake of massive tech layoffs, it’s a story that’s now all-too familiar. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings in Susan Peppercorn, a career coach who writes for the Harvard Business Review and is the author of ​​Ditch Your Inner Critic At Work. She has some tried-and-true tactical tips for making the most of a sudden job loss.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Make the Leap to Your Dream Job.” Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we present a special episode from A Slight Change of Plans hosted by Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist who studies human behavior and was our featured expert on How To Stick To Your New Year's Resolutions. Maya's podcast examines who we are and who we become in the face of a big change. In this episode, Maya looks at a feeling most of us are familiar with: stress. We’re all familiar with the ways stress can make us feel bad, but can we use it as a helpful resource? Maya’s joined by Columbia professor and stress expert Modupe Akinola, who argues that a simple change in our mindset can turn short-term stress into a force for good. Modupe shares strategies for how to better tolerate and understand our stress, and gives us tools for coping when a small “mindset shift” isn’t enough. Hear more from A Slight Change of Plans at https://podcasts.pushkin.fm/scps7?sid=how.  Make an impact this Women’s History Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund girls in STEM. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Leslie landed her dream engineering job right out of college, she was elated but also worried she was a tad unqualified—even though she has the skills and expertise. Since then imposter syndrome has reared its ugly head on a regular basis. Besides being the youngest in her department, she’s one of the only women and the only person of color, which has made things even more isolating. On this episode of How To!, host Amanda Ripley brings on Dr. Jessica Esquivel, physicist, advocate for marginalized communities in STEAM, and author of Our Queer Universe. Dr. Esquivel has some wise, hard-earned advice for shifting the burden of being enough, learning to fail, and making systemic changes so people don’t feel imposter syndrome so acutely.  If you liked this episode, check out: “I’m Great at My Job. So Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud?” Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Make an impact this Women’s History Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund girls in STEM. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cooking is one of the most basic human activities. We’ve probably been doing it since the discovery of fire and, yet, it’s more than just fuel. It’s culture. It’s comfort. It’s increasingly content. The problem is when we have such high expectations for something so simple and vital, we can find ourselves, well…paralyzed with doubt. Not to mention hungry. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings on Samin Nosrat, author of Salt Fat Acid Heat, who talks with food writer, Rachel Baron, about managing emotions in the kitchen. They dive deep on what it means to manage (and harness) feelings of chaos, how to stop comparing yourself to Instagram chefs, and how to feed not just yourself, but your soul.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Stress-Bake with Claire Saffitz” and “How To Cook One Perfect Meal.” Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This summer, Hillary and her fiancé will be moving into their first home together. It’s an upgrade from their apartment, and they get to design it from scratch. Hillary is really looking forward to entertaining friends and even growing their family in the space. She wants to design the interior of the house so it feels like a home, but she has no idea where to start, style-wise. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings on award-winning interior designer Corey Damen Jenkins. Corey runs a design firm, teaches, and is the author of Design Remix. He breaks down everything from how to find your style (hint: look in your closet) to creating mood boards to balancing color so it doesn’t become overwhelming. No matter if you’re on a shoestring budget or can splurge on the space—Corey’s advice will help you love where you live.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Dress with Confidence.”  Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joey is a young creative living in Australia who can’t decide which hat to wear. Should it be songwriting, skateboarding, acting, or should he focus more on his day job as a retail clerk? Fitting everything in during the week seems impossible and he feels guilty when he can’t cross everything off his checklist. On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in journalist Oliver Burkeman, the author of 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. He explains how he too once wanted to do it all, but eventually realized that it’s just not feasible. As Joey learns, letting go of some things and focusing on what really matters can actually lead to the ‘joy of missing out.’ If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Never Miss a Deadline” Do you wonder how best to use your time? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.   If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Make an impact this Black History Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund UNCF scholarships for HBCU students. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sharon is 38 and never been kissed. This, as she acknowledges, is “a bit weird.” As a nurse who loves ballroom dancing, Sharon is smart, funny, and attractive. At the same time, she’s deeply religious and has been waiting so long for the perfect man she worries that she’ll never find “The One.” In this classic How To! episode, founding host Charles Duhigg brings in one of New York City’s finest matchmakers, Lisa Clampitt, for some tough love. Lisa believes Sharon has a lot going for her, but in order to find her first kiss she needs to go on a lot more second dates. This is no fairytale, but sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. Do you have a problem that needs a solution? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Keith prides himself on being a good dad to his three sons. But in a post-pandemic world with looming student debt and uncertain opportunities, the future can be really scary. He’s especially worried about his middle son Ben, an introvert who doesn't know what to do after he graduates high school this year. On this episode of How To! host Carvell Wallace brings on Rebecca Lavoie. She’s a versatile podcaster and former co-host on Slate’s parenting show Mom and Dad are Fighting. She’s also a recent empty nester, and has some tough love for Keith about how he can stop fretting and find more joy in his own life. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Fill an Empty Nest” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Make an impact this Black History Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund UNCF scholarships for HBCU students. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yuzuha has been interviewing people for six years. She’s a journalist based in Japan who writes about business and technology but has dreamed of working in broadcast, interviewing people for an audience. Her first challenge is coming sooner than she expected. Yuzuha was asked to moderate a panel at a big conference in Tokyo. She wants to know how to speak with confidence, capture an audience, and ensure her questions get answered without putting on a fake persona. On this episode of How To!, Amanda Ripley brings on journalist Meghna Chakrabarti. Meghna is the host of On Point, a public radio show, where she is known for her artful live interviews that help her audience make sense of the world. Meghna has some wonderful advice for Yuzuha (and all of us) on how to harness your voice and ensure you’re advocating for your audience. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Speak Up So Others Listen.”  Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Earlier this year, our listener, Rell, nearly failed a promotion. Not because she was unprepared or unqualified, but because she didn’t maintain enough eye contact with the interviewers. Rell’s eye hasn’t been fully receiving information since she was born, a condition that’s outwardly visible and known colloquially as a “lazy eye.” It’s beginning to affect her self-confidence and is this “ugly thing [she] can’t let go of.” On this episode of How To!, new co-host Carvell Wallace brings on Sarah Ruhl. Sarah is an award-winning playwright, and author who wrote about her experience with Bell’s palsy in her recent book, Smile: The Story of a Face. Sarah has some wonderful advice for letting go of your inner rage, making interactions with strangers less painful, and even finding people who light up your mirror neurons. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Dress with Confidence.”  Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

January is barely two weeks old and already some of our ambitious New Year’s resolutions may be starting to fade. No shame! Approximately 90% of resolution makers don’t reach their goal. Which means there’s gotta be a better way. Our listener this week, Emily, is discouraged about her unhealthy eating and lack of exercise and wants to form better habits that last long after the new year. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Maya Shankar. Maya is a cognitive scientist and host of the award-winning podcast, A Slight Change of Plans. Relying on decades of research, she helps Emily (and all of us) set ourselves up for success based on what works for actual humans. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Eat Whatever You Want” and “How To Lose Weight and Keep It Off” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.   If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the wake of the anniversary of the January 6th insurrection, and now similar riots in Brazil’s capital, we’re picking up our conversation about how to reduce political violence. In the first episode of our two-part series, we heard from Dr. Rachel Kleinfeld, senior fellow at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. This week, we’re talking with Curtis Toler, director of outreach at Chicago CRED. After joining his first street organization at the age of 9, Curtis went from a gang leader to a violence interrupter. He talks about how to reach people entrenched in cycles of conflict, how to get to the peace table, and what Congress (and all of us) can learn from his success on the streets of Chicago.  Resources:  Chicago CRED A Savage Order: How the World's Deadliest Countries Can Forge a Path to Security by Rachel Kleinfeld An Ex-Gang Leader’s Advice for Deescalating Violence in Politics by Amanda Ripley If you liked this episode, check out: “​​How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Part 1 and Part 2.”  Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.   If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s been two years since the January 6th riot at the US Capitol in Washington DC. Over 900 people have been criminally charged, but political violence continues to be a threat. Well, here at How To!, we are not content to just marinate in fear and blame so we’re dedicating two episodes to see how we can prevent more tragedies like January 6. In our first episode, we bring on Dr. Rachel Kleinfeld, senior fellow at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace where she focuses on the intersection of democracy and security. She explains how the US has gotten to this point, how we should productively grapple with January 6, and why we’re not as close to the brink of civil war as it may seem. Next week, we’ll hear from Curtis Toler, a former Chicago gang member who is now a violence interrupter. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Get Things Done in a Divided Nation with Samantha Power.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.   If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we saved the planet, unbroke the news, discovered our style, sat in silence, found pleasure, put a small town on the map, learned to laugh, ran for office (without being an a**hole), and talked politics with our parents. On this episode of How To!, the team gathers ‘round the mic to round up our favorite advice of the year. We talk about how we applied that advice to our own lives, share some surprising updates from folks who were on the show, and give a behind-the-scenes look at how the podcast is made each week.  Did we forget to mention your favorite advice of the year? Let us know with a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.   If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TJ has spent years trying to heal herself and put her childhood behind her. Both of her parents struggled with addiction, which made for a very complicated, unstable upbringing. After sacrificing her own childhood to raise her siblings—TJ feels deeply wounded by her mother in particular. She really wants to let it go. The only question is how. On this episode of How To!, we bring on journalist Marina Cantacuzino. Marina is the founder of The Forgiveness Project, a charity that shares stories of victims, survivors, and perpetrators of “crime and conflict who have rebuilt their lives following hurt and trauma.” She’s also the author of a new book called Forgiveness: An Exploration. Marina shares some powerful stories about others who have opened their hearts to forgiveness—even if it took awhile—and began to free themselves from resentment.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Forgive the Unforgivable.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes.  Sponsored by Saks.com. Check out the Holiday Gift Guide on saks.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Los Angeles’ newly elected mayor Karen Bass declared a state of emergency to help address the city’s homelessness crisis. It’s an overwhelming issue that has left a lot of Angelenos wondering how they can help, including this week’s listener Alex. On this episode, host Amanda Ripley brings on two people who have experience fighting housing insecurity. Theo Henderson is an activist and host of the podcast, We the Unhoused, which sheds light on the struggles faced by the unhoused community in Los Angeles. Larry Morrissey is the former mayor of Rockford, Illinois. During his tenure, the city functionally ended veteran and chronic homelessness – by doing something altogether different than what most cities have tried. Together Theo and Larry explain what needs to change in order to properly address this crisis.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How to (Really) Help Refugees.”  LA organizations mention: J-Town Action and Solidarity as well as The Reclaimers. Do you have an insurmountable problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

‘Tis the season of gathering with friends and family. It’s also a time where some of us yearn for a closer community, like this week’s listener. Morgan is looking for a way to hang out with friends in a consistent, meaningful manner. On this episode of How To!, Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, explains how to transform a lackluster hang-out where people just sit around drinking beer into a party with a purpose where guests want to come back. She tells us how to create an event that meets a need with the right rules and the right guest list. She even has tips for sprucing up your next holiday party.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Cook One Perfect Meal.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.   If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Victor’s job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he’s plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke, author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away, helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive biases that prevent us from quitting and reveals why most of us quit things far too late.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Uproot Your Life.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about Avast One at Avast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode from our friends at The Atlas Obscura Podcast, you'll visit the San Diego Automotive Museum in California to hear about one man’s dream of creating the ultimate road trip car. Their podcast is an audio guide to the world’s wondrous, awe-inspiring, strange places. In under 15 minutes, they'll take you to an incredible site, and along the way you’ll meet some fascinating people and hear their stories. Join them daily, Monday through Thursday, to explore a new wonder with cofounder Dylan Thuras and a neighborhood of Atlas Obscura reporters. If you wanna hear more stories about America’s quirky roadside attractions — and how to create your own — check out our recent episode “How To Put Your Town on the Map.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lauren already knows the plot of her bestselling novel—the problem is she hasn’t written a word. Paralyzed by self-criticism and an earlier rejection, this former English major has spent years journaling instead of attempting the scary, difficult work of creative writing. On this episode of How To!, we turn to writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner, whose debut novel Fleishman Is in Trouble, was one of the hottest books of the year. Can she help Lauren finally put pen to paper? The first thing Lauren needs to do, Taffy says, is stop journaling, and start writing. And then keep writing: “You can't get to the good sentences if you don't write the bad ones first.” Next, find a trusted reader, not a cheerleader, to give you honest feedback. And when doubt begins to creep in again, look at the writers you admire and simply ask, “Why them and not me?” Do you have a problem that needs a solution? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To move or not to move? That is the question for Tiffani. She is desperate to get out of her hometown in rural Oregon and find a place with affordable housing, better dating prospects, and a ballroom dance studio nearby… or at least a P.F. Chang’s closer than a four hour drive away. The problem? Her preferred destination would mean moving clear across the country. On this episode of How To!, decision coach Nell McShane Wulfhart sits down with Tiffani and helps her make this life-changing decision in under 60 minutes. It’s true! Nell shows us how we can all uncover what we truly want and then write ourselves permission slips to actually pursue it.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Have Happy Regrets.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Season 3 of The Relentless is all about moving fearlessly. We’re kicking things off with two guests who not only embody that mindset, they’re growing businesses in ways that also empower their communities. First, we talk to Kathryn Finney, a venture capitalist, author, entrepreneur, and one of the first Black women to have a successful seven-figure startup exit. Finney shares insights she gained on her journey from epidemiologist to an influential woman in tech, and discusses her commitment to investing in her own communities of Black entrepreneurs and underrepresented groups.  Later in the show, we’ll hear CENTURY 21® Broker Vicki Monteagudo talk about the entrepreneurial strategies she used to grow a thriving brokerage in her own Tri-Cities community. Guests Kathryn Finney: Founder & Managing General Partner of Genius Guild and author of Build the Damn Thing Vicki Monteagudo: Owner & Designated Broker of CENTURY 21 Tri-Cities Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Kate’s teenage son, Sam, approached college she noticed him withdrawing. He wasn’t excited about his future and started to show symptoms of major depression. It came to a crisis point one summer night before Sam was set to leave for school. In the weeks and months that followed, Sam struggled to navigate the mental health system in search of care. And Kate? Kate was left wondering how she could help her son without being overbearing. On this episode of How To!, guest host Carvell Wallace brings on Dr. Christine Moutier, psychiatrist and the chief medical officer for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. She advises Kate and all of us on how to be appropriately supportive, especially when things get to a scary place. She also reveals how she coped when her own teenager experienced a mental health crisis.  Resources: If you or anyone you know is in crisis, dial 988 or text TALK to 741741.  American Foundation for Suicide Prevention AFSP’s Real Conversation Guides If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Stop Being Anxious”  Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re going to see if one American family can flip the usual, tortured and tedious script for arguing about politics and do something more interesting. Jenn and Todd Brandel sit down with their dad, Bruce, to see if they can come to a better understanding about what has shaped their different political views. Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times, is back to provide some insightful post-game analysis. In this second episode of our special two-part series, she breaks down what went well, what got a little messy, and what we can all apply to our own conversations with loved ones.  Listen to the first part of our series: “How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 1” If you liked this episode, you might also like: “How To Rescue Someone From a Conspiracy Theory.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jenn and Todd Brandel have a close, loving relationship with their father, Bruce. But one thing makes their blood boil: his political chain emails. The messages are often forwarded commentary written in a provocative tone, and are an unwelcome reminder of just how far apart the family is politically. On this episode of How To!, we’re joined by Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times. In the first of a special two-part episode on talking politics with our parents, Mónica teaches Jenn and Todd how to aim for understanding with their dad, not agreement. Next week, Jenn, Todd, and their dad Bruce will put these tips into practice—on mic—around the kitchen table, as Mónica provides post-game analysis. We’ll dive into what worked, what got a little messy, and how to keep making progress. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Embrace Your Anti-Vax Family This Holiday Season” and “How To Talk Politics Without Wrecking Relationships.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about Avast One at Avast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Becca is 6-feet tall, bold and strong-willed. She’s also easily startled and paralyzed by fear — even a children’s haunted house can reduce her to tears. In this episode of How To!, we bring in sociologist Margee Kerr, author of Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear, to give us the lowdown on surviving scary situations. Can making fear more fun help Becca overcome her startle reflex in time for Halloween? Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on our podcast helpful? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever vacationed on the beaches of Delaware, chances are you drove right by Smyrna. It’s a small but charming town that’s been bypassed by the main highways. Which is why Mike, a small business owner on the town council, wants to create a spectacular, engaging roadside attraction to tempt tourists into town. The only snag? He doesn’t know what to actually build. On this episode of How To!, we bring on roadside attraction aficionado Erika Nelson. She’s the creator of The World’s Largest Collection of the World’s Smallest Versions of the World’s Largest Things. She’s also an artist who helps towns like Smyrna develop their own car-stopping attractions. She decodes the magic of the most wondrous roadside attractions and explains why hosting a Guinness world record-holding object is not the only key to success. You also have to tell a good story. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Convince People to Give You Money.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After three decades of marriage, Bernadette wasn’t exactly blindsided when Rodney asked for a divorce. Things had been rocky for awhile, but she always assumed they’d live the rest of their lives “unhappily ever after.” Now Bernadette is facing an uncertain future, wondering how she’s going to navigate her new life socially, emotionally, and financially. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, author of Light on the Other Side Of Divorce: Discovering the New You, and host of the podcast The Divorce Doctor. She helps Bernadette formulate a plan for keeping things civil, and handling everything from personal finances to awkward inquiries from well-meaning friends.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Save Your Marriage,” “How To Have a Fight That Actually Helps Your Relationship,” and “How To Reconnect With Your Kid After a Nasty Divorce.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about Avast One at Avast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Dana and Luke first started dating at the office they kept their relationship a secret. Most of their colleagues didn’t know they were a couple until they got engaged. They didn’t want any undue pressure or outside judgment. That’s because Dana is a proud Black, Ghanaian woman from central Florida and Luke is a white man from Kansas. Dana’s wondering how she can preserve her identity while they absorb each others’ family traditions. On this episode of How To!, guest host Hélène Biandudi Hofer brings on Karyn Langhorne Folan, author of Don't Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions that Keep Black Women From Dating Out. All three discuss the struggles and joys in their respective interracial marriages.  If you want to learn more about Dana’s work, check out AfroLA.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Beat Your Hidden Biases.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

College application season is approaching fast—too fast—for 16-yr old Maya and her mother, Melissa. The problem? Maya has no idea where to go or what to study. It doesn’t help that there are thousands of schools to choose from, and little transparency about their true cost. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ron Lieber, New York Times money columnist and author of The Price You Pay for College. He shows Maya how to narrow down the list of potential colleges by asking insightful questions of the schools and, ultimately, yourself. Then he talks to Melissa about how to pay for it without harming the rest of the family’s finances.  Ron’s questions for parents:  What do you remember your parent or parents saying to you the first time they talked about what college would cost and what, if anything, they would pay? Or if there was silence around the topic of paying for college, what did it speak? How much was your parent or your parents willing to pay for your education? How did you feel about that?  If your parents paid your way, is it possible that you should not feel obligated to do the same, given how much the world has changed? And if your parents paid nothing, have you asked yourself whether 15 years of extreme thrift starting now (or going deep into debt 15 years from now to pay for your child’s first-choice college) may not erase whatever pain lingers from that period long ago -- or may create new conflict with your spouse and kids? How much might you be willing to borrow -- or delay repayment of your own student loans? How long are you willing to delay retirement to meet this goal? If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Raise a Future College Athlete.”  Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.   If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Trish first started working in corporate recruiting, she had wonderful co-workers, a supportive manager, opportunities for growth—it was “bliss.” But the bliss evaporated in 2020 when she got laid off during the pandemic. She’s since found a different job in the same field, but also decided to try her hand at teaching pilates part-time. Now, after burning the candle at both ends, Trish is burned out and unsure of the best path forward. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Nathan and Susannah Furr, authors of The Upside of Uncertainty. They have some useful tools to help Trish—and all of us—find our footing in uncertain times.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Bounce Back From Burnout” and “How To Advance Your Career by Quitting Your Job.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the second of a two-part episode on reimagining the news we continue our conversation with Nicole Lewis, Senior Editor of Jurisprudence at Slate, and a longtime reporter on the criminal justice beat; and David Bornstein, co-founder/CEO of the Solutions Journalism Network, and former contributor to the New York Times’ Fixes column. The discussion picks up where we left off on how journalists can regain the trust of their audience, and how news consumers can find stories that inspire hope, agency and dignity — our democracy may depend on it. Resources:  https://trustingnews.org https://wearehearken.com https://results.org If you liked this episode, check out Part 1: “How To Unbreak the News” Do you have a burning question? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.   Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

About five or six years ago, host Amanda Ripley started noticing that her normal news diet left her feeling depleted and depressed. She tried mixing up her news habits, even avoiding it for awhile, but nothing helped. It felt like a shameful secret. Shouldn’t journalists love consuming the news? She began to wonder, is it me....or is it the news itself? On this episode of How To!, the first of two parts, we’ll hear from several of our listeners who feel the same way. We’ll also talk with Nicole Lewis, Senior Editor of Jurisprudence at Slate, and a longtime reporter on the criminal justice beat; and David Bornstein, co-founder/CEO of the Solutions Journalism Network, and former contributor to the New York Times’ Fixes column. Together they’ll discuss how the news became so broken, and how we can put it back together again.  Resources:  Solutions Story Tracker® Fear of Rampant Crime Is Derailing New York City’s Recovery by Fola Akinnibi and Raeedah Wahid I stopped reading the news. Is the problem me — or the product? by Amanda Ripley Do you have a burning question? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.   Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Clare decided on a resolution for the year, she was looking for a new challenge. Instead of running a marathon like her partner, Clare—who “talks for a living”—decided to go completely silent. She signed up for a silent retreat. But as it approached, she wondered how she could possibly go an entire week without speaking. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Daniel Thorson of the Monastic Academy in Vermont and host of the podcast, Emerge. Daniel has spent over a year of his life in silent meditation, including a 75 day silent retreat at the beginning of the pandemic. He says his first silent retreat was the worst experience of his life — just what Clare wanted to hear — but there’s a reason he kept going back. If you liked this episode, check out: How To Quiet the Chatter in Your Head and How To Sleep with Headspace’s Andy Puddicombe.   Do you have a burning question? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Swiss Ambassador Jacques Pitteloud moved to Washington DC, his residence was perfect. Too perfect. The Swiss ambassador’s residence sits on six acres on a hill with an awesome view of the Washington Monument. “I was amazed by the beauty of the whole setting…It looked like a golf course and I don't like golf courses… they are ecological disasters,” Ambassador Pitteloud reflected. Together with his gardening team, the Ambassador has transformed the residence into a native oasis. On this episode of How To!, we’re taking a field trip to the Swiss Ambassador’s residence. Ambassador Pitteloud reveals how he brought back his beloved birds and even gave diplomatic immunity to local colonies of bees.  We talked last week with Doug Tallamy, who gave some wonderfully concrete advice on how you can revitalize your local ecosystem with just your yard. Ambassador Pitteloud is a living testament that you can have a meaningful impact with just your yard and he’s impoloring others to follow suit. “Environmental protection has become ideological and politicized. This is not a political question… It's 5 minutes before midnight.”  Resources:  Homegrown National Park Nature's Best Hope: A New Approach to Conservation That Starts in Your Yard Audubon Native Plants Database National Wildlife Federation Native Plant Finder SEEK by iNaturalist If you liked this episode, check out part one: “How To Save the Planet, Starting With Your Yard.” Also check out our episode "How to (Really) Help Refugees," as mentioned at the end of the show. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the last 24 years, Judy has moved approximately 16 times for her husband’s military career. But her family has finally settled down in a lovely house with a yard near Annapolis, Maryland. Now Judy is hoping to transform her outdoor space into something that’s beautiful and environmentally friendly. On this episode of How To!, Doug Tallamy explains why, now more than ever, we need people like Judy to plant native species in order to revive our ecosystem. He has some surprisingly easy tips for replacing your grass (take that, lawn mower!), finding plants that pollinators will love, and even getting rid of those pesky mosquitoes.  Resources:  Homegrown National Park Nature's Best Hope: A New Approach to Conservation That Starts in Your Yard Audubon Native Plants Database National Wildlife Federation Native Plant Finder SEEK by iNaturalist The Life and Death of the American Lawn If you liked this episode, check out “How To Squash Your Fear of Bugs (and Other Phobias)” Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John and Rosemary Belson with help from Katie Shepherd.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Elaine picked up watercolor painting during her two year, cross country RV adventure with her family. She quickly fell in love with gorgeous nature scenes and found the creative process meditative and healing. But now she’s wondering if her art could be something more. On this episode of How To!, multitalented artist Aaron Dworkin has tips for Elaine and other aspiring artists on how to live a ‘portfolio life’ by finding your signature style, following your passions and ultimately getting paid. He also shares insights for unlocking your creativity even if you don’t fancy yourself an artist.  If you liked this episode, check out “How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song with Ben Folds.” Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last week, our expert Arthur Brooks gave us some surefire advice for resetting the parent-child relationship so your kids don’t treat you like an emotional ATM. On this episode of How To!, he’s going to teach our listener, Karen, how to balance the books, so to speak, by taking some withdrawals of her own. He has some surprising tips for how to restrain yourself from swooping in to save the day when it would be better to let them figure it out. Starting with a hilarious story of the time Arthur’s adult son called him—pantsless—from Las Vegas.  If you liked this episode, check out part one: “How To Parent Less.” Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every time Karen gets a phone call from her adult children her heart sinks. Even at age 23 and 21, they’re usually calling with a problem. She’s received calls for everything from flat tires to mental health emergencies. While she loves her kids and wants to always be a safe place for them to land, she really wants them to gain more independence. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Arthur Brooks, a Harvard University professor who studies the science of happiness and writes a column for the Atlantic called How to Build a Life. He also is the father to three adult children. He has some surprising tips and tough love for Karen to help her rebalance her relationship with her kids.   If you liked this episode, check out “How To Get Your Kid to Finally Grow Up” and “How To Fill an Empty Nest.” Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For a lot of would-be parents, adoption isn’t the first path that comes to mind. But that’s how Victoria, a PhD student, is leaning right now. Even though she’s not planning to have a family for a few more years, it’s never too early to start preparing for what can be a long, arduous process. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Marcia Chatelain, Pulitzer Prize winning author, professor of history and African-American studies at Georgetown, and former co-host of The Waves. Marcia spent five years jumping through hoops before she and her husband finally adopted their son last year. Now Marcia is looking back on that journey and sharing what she learned to help Victoria smoothly navigate the process.  If you liked this episode, check out “The Single Most Important Thing to Know Before Becoming a Single Parent.” Do you have a seemingly impossible problem? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices